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It happened like it always happened, with the two of them meeting eyes, or talking, or something – and, one way or another, ending up in bed together.
Emilia pushed Subaru’s hair back to kiss his temple. His body trembled under hers, warm and sweaty flesh against the cool air. Sometimes when they did this, she wished to stay like this, naked and comfortable, forever. “E-Emilia…”
“Mmm.” She moved down from his forehead to his ear, knowing that he would shiver and become weak as she kissed and nibbled it. And he did, hands curling up and digging into the flesh where they’d settled on either side of her breasts. His breath on her hair was speeding up already, she could almost see his screwed-shut eyes. When she moved lower still and breathed against his neck, hands caressing it, face pressing against it, he gasp-moaned and bucked his hips upward.
Bone and tough muscle and erect tissue, they ground against the sensitive parts of each other – the soft under-part of Emilia’s stomach, where her womb was, the scar on Subaru’s thigh that was no longer painful, just wonderfully tender, their heated privates. She squeezed one of his thighs between both of hers and gave in for a moment, humping hungrily with their eyes closed. That simple pleasure had been enough for the first few times, when they’d barely done anything. It was dirty and shameless, and wonderfully mindless.
But it wasn’t enough (for her) anymore. It no longer satisfied (her) to act without thinking. With great strength of will, she pulled herself off him.
“You will stop doing that.” She said, trying to be severe but unable to catch her breath. Subaru’s eyes were shut, his whole face was flushed pink.
“Emilia, come on.” He groaned. He couldn’t even make the adorably silly jokes she had come to lo– lov– like. Promise me you won’t. She almost said. But she couldn’t be bitter, not now – the liar’s face was contorted in pleasure and desperation and emotion, his hair tousled and spread over the pillow, and he looked – well, he had never been handsome, not when she first met him, but he looked –
“Beautiful.” She half-teased. Subaru opened one eye just enough to glare at her. “What?”
She kissed his nose. “I said you look beautiful, my Subaru.”
“Your- me?” He laughed, hands moving up her bare back to keep her down there with him. She loved that feeling too, loved how his fingers sunk into her skin. “Emilia, you’ll destroy my sense of manhood like that!”
“Silly.” She snorted.
“I love your laugh.” He said out of nowhere. “Did you know that? I love it.”
“I’m sure you’ve told me before,” Subaru’s eyes stared into hers, but they were a thousand miles away too. “Subaru.” Something about those eyes, something about all this touch, it was all too much. She closed her eyes. “My Subaru.” I don’t deserve-
“I don’t deserve you, Emilia.” His voice was ragged. She snapped out of her daze and glared at him.
“You aren’t allowed to say that. You made that rule yourself.” No mocking ourselves when we’re together. No real arguments in bed.
“I – I know, I know.” But even his smile was saddening. “But I don’t know if anyone...”
She kissed him like a stabbing, like a dagger through his heart, pushing it in, in, in, until his struggling hands hung loose, until his legs lay deathlike under her on the sheet. He gasped against her force, against her tongue plundering his mouth, against the hands in his hair and the thigh grinding against his erection and the teeth knocking his, and she kissed him for all of it. How dare he call himself lesser? How dare he call himself unworthy when she saw the love in his eyes when they lay on her, when she’d benefited from that love time and time again, and yet she could not reciprocate? When she kept doing… this with him, holding hands, going on ‘dates’, taking all his kisses, and yet they both knew she did not love him back?
When, in the trial of sanctuary…
“You deserve it.” She manages, pulling away to whisper against his lips. She can feel his lungs overworking themselves. “You deserve the, the world, for everything you do-”
“But it’s so hard for me –”
“-and you do it anyway. You achieve so much with so little.” And I? Are my supposed virtues meant simply to exist, does my ‘strength’ and ‘kindness’ preclude me from, from trying at all? If I achieve nothing, fight for nothing, am I still called worthy?
He had given her an answer though, hadn’t he?
It doesn’t. So you must try regardless.
She sat up, moving down until she sat on his stomach and his erection was pressed against her back. She ran her hands over his chest, knowing his body would respond even if his mind was in darker places.
“I love how strong you are now.” She praised him, before he could speak. She did – his muscles were taut and strong, built from months of exercise. She could tell where his shirtsleeves would end – his skin coloured in the sun so well, where hers just burnt and turned red. She massaged over one of his chest muscles, pulling the nipple into her fingers and playing.
The other hand moved lower, over his stomach (pausing for a while to press triumphantly over the little softness there – he was always embarrassed about that, as though she didn’t have her own soft places. She loved how soft his body could be in places without the bone and muscle. She loved resting her head there. A more luxuriant pillow, she couldn’t think of.) “I love this place.” She added. Subaru twisted his head away from her, into the pillow. She ground backwards on his erection and he moaned and bit into the pillow in frustration. Wait, is it the word I’m using…?!
“I – I like so many things about you,” She added, sure that he had caught the change in her words. “I love your hips, and your legs,” A mischievous pinch to said thighs, “and this.” She ground back again, and Subaru whined.
“Emilia, you can’t…”
“What?”
“P-Please…” There were tears in his eyes, tears. “Oh, Subaru…” She couldn’t take her eyes off him, how sweet he looked like that, so blindly she searched for his hand. He looked up when she picked it up and brought his palm to her lips, gently, gently. “Subaru.” How long they just sat like that, she didn’t know – but it was Subaru who broke it.
“Oh!” She gasped at the sudden shock – and it was a shock – of pleasure, his free hand (moving blindly as well, for his eyes were trapped in hers too) reaching her privates and finding her clitoris. He made a pinching motion (not a real pinch, oh no! He was exactly as gentle as she enjoyed him, now that they knew each other and themselves thus), sending a second shock through her.
“Got you.” He joked weakly. Scoundrel.
Who but Subaru would joke like that?
She dropped his hand, pressing back against him. His hand had moved, and she ground against his knuckles, her clit (bright red between her white folds) moving in the canal between two fingers. They could feel each other, their voices, their desperation, and she moved faster.
“Emilia, Emilia-”
“I know-”
“I wanna be in you, god you’resobeautiful, I wanna be in you –”
“Me too, ugh –” And she could feel her opening, squeezing on itself somewhere between the hot length rubbing in the curve of her butt and her aching, burning, delicate clit, and then they were both beyond words for a few moments that felt so long, and then-
He finished first, and then she flopped on top of him to ride out the last, shaking, scraps of ecstasy.
What felt like ages later, he grunted. “What?” She asked.
“Gettoff.” Subaru grumbled. “You’ve been on my belly too long, it hurts.”
He rolled her off. His body was still burning hot from the exertion. Resting his head on her arm, and her face in his shoulder was wonderful, and real, and more than anything –
It was hers.