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“This is why no one listens to your fucking ideas, Clyde.”
“I just thought it would be funny, okay! I didn’t think he’d actually do it--”
“Fuck off, you knew he’d do it! You said--”
“I know what I said! I didn’t mean it! He should have realized--”
“He’s paranoid about this kind of shit, you asshole!”
“Craig?” Tweek asked in a very small voice, clinging to his boyfriend with his arms wrapped around his neck. He’d scooped him up soon after Tweek had fallen and twisted his ankle. It didn’t seem like he had any intentions on setting him down anytime soon. He was too busy glaring and yelling at his best friend, who hadn’t apologized yet.
“Listen,” Clyde said in a totally calm voice, apparently attempting to rationalize everything in order to soothe Craig’s anger. “I fucked up. Let me be the first to admit that. I didn’t think he’d actually get on the skateboard and try it, okay?”
“You told him if he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t be cool enough to date me.”
“But I didn’t think he’d believe me,” Clyde screeched, waving his arms about in the air. Token was apparently ignoring the entire exchange at this point, because he had whipped out his iPhone and begun to type away on it.
“This is Tweek,” Craig growled and his arms tightened around the blond, as if saying his name had reminded him what he was holding in his arms. “The boy we’ve known since practically birth, who’s paranoid about every little thing.”
“Yeah, but you two have been dating since, God, who even knows how long now? Years? I just thought it’d be funny! I didn’t think he’d actually go through with it. I figured he’d spazz out and that’d be really hilarious!”
“You are such a dick,” Token said, deadpan. His eyes were still trained on his phone, but it seemed like a reasonable thing to say in the situation. Token probably didn’t care two ways anymore. “Can we go now? I gotta drive you guys to the hospital before my date with Wendy.”
“I don’t need to go to the--” Tweek was cut off again when Clyde screeched, Craig taking a step towards him apparently being too threatening for Clyde to handle. The brunet spun his arms about in a windmill fashion when his step back nearly sent him toppling backwards over the skateboard he’d abandoned earlier.
“The fucking car is over there, Clyde, I’m not trying to kill you,” Craig growled. Tweek was apparently going to be ignored. “I take one step towards you--”
“Dude, your right hooks are killer! I could have lost my head!”
“How am I going to sock you? I have my fucking boyfriend in my arms,” Craig hissed. Clyde blinked owlishly and his own eyes flew to Tweek, cradled in Craig’s arms. “Yeah. Can we just go now?”
“Please put me down,” Tweek whined. “It’s just a sprained ankle! I can walk!”
His voice had apparently been loud enough to jarr everyone out of their own little worlds. “Don’t be stupid,” Craig told him as his dark eyes met Tweek’s. “You’ll hurt it more.”
“It’ll be f-fine, dude! Put me down. Please?” Craig stared at him silently for several moments before heaving a sigh and setting Tweek back on his feet. “T-thank you!” Tweek swayed for a moment as he caught his balance, but he placed a hand on Craig’s shoulder to steady himself. That seemed to please Craig enough that he didn’t try to wrap his arms back around his boyfriend and pick him back up.
“Come on,” Token said with a heavy sigh. “You losers should just, like, some kind of VIP card at the hospital at this point. We all have to go there so much.”
“Maybe if someone would stop suggesting stupid shit,” Craig grumbled as Tweek and he began to hobble towards Token’s car.
“Don’t try to destroy my creative liberty, Craig!” Clyde yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the dark haired male. “You know all my stupid ideas will just burst free if I don’t blurt them out the minute I think of one!”
“Write them down in a journal,” Token suggested as he slid into the driver’s seat. Clyde glared at him as if that very idea insulted him.
“Can you get into the car?” Craig asked him. Tweek turned to peer up at him and gave him a tiny smile.
“Y-yeah,” he said and waved his boyfriend off. “I’ll be fine. It doesn’t even really h-hurt.” He leaned up on his good foot to press a chaste kiss to Craig’s mouth.
“Promise?”
“P-promise,” Tweek replied. Craig seemed to feel a little better and went to his own side to clamber in. Tweek sighed himself now that Craig wasn’t hovering at his elbow, and climbed into the car. “I don’t think I need to go to the hospital, guys,” he said as he buckled himself in. “I t-think I can just wrap it at h-home.”
“It doesn’t hurt to get it checked,” Token said as he started the car and began to drive. “We can ask them to check Clyde’s head while we’re at it.”
“Hey!” Clyde yelled, but that seemed to ease the tension, because everyone laughed. “I have the best head among us!”
“Right,” Craig drawled sarcastically, “and South Park is a completely normal town.”
“Fuck you, Craig.”