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Kariage wasn’t familiar with love.
His father wasn’t exactly the best person to be around, a man who was a whirlwind of guilt and anger. So, he never experienced love. Until he met Katsuki Bakugou.
Dark amber eyes that turned into the depths of the Sahara desert when the sun reflected into his irises. Eyes that he could gaze into for days, weeks, months. Decades, even. Time blurred when he was around Katsuki.
He knew this because when he left Katsuki, all that was left of his life was long, grueling days that gave him no sense of enjoyment. His life was with Katsuki. And he had willingly left it.
Bakugo showed him parts of life that he had never known to of existed. Passion, joy, love. What had once been a foreign feeling was now something he felt daily whenever he was near Katsuki. That was when he knew he was in love.
The day when Katsuki first walked into the class, yelling at whom he’d dubbed ‘Deku’. His abrasive attitude was gravitating, pulling in Kariage until he was hooked. Loud and cocky comments made towards his victim clashed with his endearing smirk and unruly hair.
Kariage knew he had to befriend this snide, arrogant kid. He just didn’t know the dangers. He thought they were friends. They smoked together, skipped school together (although very rarely because Katsuki cared too much for his attendance), and laughed together. One night, when Kariage had snuck into Katsuki’s room and convinced him to go with him to the school roof, Katsuki began to open up to him.
What used to be a friendship of only jokes and lighthearted mockery became a deep relationship between the two boys. Katsuki admitted that he saw Kariage as one of his only true friends. He told him what happened during the Sludge Villain Incident, what happened when he returned home, and what happened when he came back to school.
Losing so many friends, losing his trust in his parents, losing his idolization of heroes, Kariage sat on the roof that night and silently listened to it all. Every rant that Katsuki held back, biting his tongue at every prudish comment made towards him, was poured out through shared cigarettes and an empathetic gaze from Kariage.
In that moment, Kariage looked at someone who wasn’t just cold and brash. He watched at a vulnerable, beautiful boy who carried the weight on his shoulders and still had the heart to laugh at his jokes without unraveling under all the pressure he forced himself to endure. Sharp edged hair, flushed cheeks, and the slight smell of caramel was what Kariage found when studying him.
And it was perfect. It was everything he ever wanted in a girl. Everything he had fantasized about when picturing his ideal partner. But, he was a boy. A gorgeous boy. A boy who, when any type of ridicule was directed at Kariage, was quickly shot down and destroyed. All for him. All for what Kariage thought he saw as a simple friend.
It was turning into more than just a friend. When the night ended, both boys left each other with a newfound sense of comfort in each other and a strange feeling in their chests.
They had found love. They had found comfort. But it all ended suddenly. It ended with Katsuki walking over to Kariage after graduation, telling him that he hoped they would stay in touch. It ended when they waved goodbye.
Memories of them celebrating Katsuki getting into UA, gone. Useless. Kariage resented the time he spent- wasted- on Katsuki in his youth. He could’ve picked up an extracurricular, a job, something that would’ve actually been helpful in his life. Instead, he dedicated it all to a friend that he wished were more. A friend that he believed he would never see again. A friend who he so desperately wanted to reconnect with.
And so, he did. What was once simple friendship turned into a deep, passionate, romantic relationship. Until it ended in heartbreak once again. It ended with broken dishes and whispered goodbyes. Fearful glances and hurried exits. Unspoken hope as both lovers wished that no matter their differences, they would make amends again.
A mutual breakup, where both parties claim that they both hope they can remain friends. But they both knew they were too prideful for that. Or perhaps too hurt.
Their separation was oddly reminiscent of what happened when they graduated. This time, however, it felt real. There were emotions involved in their break up, not just a promise to stay in touch that was broken.
This time, it had weight to it. And it wasn’t something he could just solve.
———————
Love wasn’t something Bakugou was familiar with.
In fact, love wasn’t even something he believed he knew of. He felt love, yes, but it was short lived. It was a fling that he felt as though only he was affected by. So he deducted that it wasn’t truly love.
When Katsuki first met Kariage, he thought that their relationship ended at lighthearted jokes and poking fun at each other.
He would’ve never expected to have feelings for him.
For one, Kariage was stunk. All the time. Not in a dirty way, but in a cigarette-stench-that-fills-up-the-whole-vicinity-and-makes-all-of-his-clothes-reek-of-cigars-for-the-rest-of-the-month-way. He was sure his parents would’ve yelled at him for smoking if they did as much as too inhale in his direction. Good thing they didn’t have the care to do even that.
Now, alone on the couch of his friend’s who he had crashed on, Katsuki longed for the smell. He wished he could remember what it smelled like. What 𝘩𝘦 smelled like.
But this was the fate he had resigned himself too. To suffer alone, never telling another soul of the love he once experienced. The love he once held for another person. Another man. The love he still held.
He feared that he would one day tell his grandchildren of a mysterious man, and drop subtle mentions of him that could only be taken in the romantic sense until they collectively realize what type of relationship they had and wonder what happened to it.
He feared that the end of their relationship would truly be the end. That it would be lost to time. That they would never reconcile. Even though that was the point. He longed for a renewed relationship, one where he could fix all of his screw ups. But deep down, he knew that he had ruined it. He knew he had ruined it the second he yelled at Kariage for worrying him for being late from his job. The second he saw Kariage hurt from his dangerous job of vigilantism and felt anger instead of pity. He knew he caused the end of their relationship. And there was no backtracking now.
———————
Kariage had royally messed up. From the moment they agreed to break up, he knew this. However, he also knew that he couldn’t just take it back.
So, virtually, he was stuck. He couldn’t do anything to mend their relationship if they both mutually agreed to end it in the first place.
That is, unless, he defied all social cues and the obvious choice to stay away from his ex by hoping Katsuki misses him as he does Katsuki and chasing after him. It was stupid, yes, but Kariage argues that love makes people stupid. He wouldn’t call 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 stupid, per se, but less cautious and more trusting. More hopeful.
That’s what Katsuki fell in love with in the first place, so perhaps it was better that he was this way.
Formulating a plan, Kariage concluded that it was risky, stupid, and overall just lacking common sense. So obviously, it was perfect.
Climbing onto roofs were easy. He did it when he snuck into Katsuki’s window, and he did it whenever he found an abandoned building and needed a place to sleep. It was simple, just grip onto the shingles and run. Silently, of course.
Focusing his balance, Kariage crawled towards the closest window, bracing himself to force it open. Grasping the ledge, he lifted the glass above his head. Sighing, he carefully stepped into the building and began to look for Katsuki’s room.
He hoped that he was staying at his friends apartment, because if he wasn’t, Kariage had no clue where he would be. Staying with Red Riot would make the most sense.
If Katsuki wasn’t crashing at his apartment, Kariage would have to give up. He prayed to whatever god had damned him before and begged for mercy, and then for closure if mercy wasn’t given. Kariage knew he was being stupid. But being stupid and hopeful was his best type of flirting. Katsuki called it his ‘himbo’ charm. Kariage didn’t know what that was, but assumed it was something flattering.
His torn up sneakers squeaked against the polished floor, as he cursed out the cleaner or whatever janitor who decided they needed to have such clean and slippery floors. Bracing himself for an alarm, Kariage stilled as he looked for the right apartment number.
Or, he was still, until a huge fucking security guard body checked him out of nowhere.
“Ow! What the fuck man! I live here!” Kariage cried, rubbing the arm he fell on.
“Sir, I know every person on this floor, and you are not a checked visitor.” She cleared her throat, grabbing his arm and starting down the stairs.
“Hey! Don’t fucking touch me, bitch!” He screamed, tugging away before thinking properly.
“Sir, please refrain from using such profanity on property grounds.” She spoke coldly, grabbing his wrist that he had wriggled free.
“Oh my god, lady, can’t you see I’m a guest? Seems a bit classist of you…” He drawled.
The woman’s frown deepened as she dragged him further down the stairs. Kariage internally groaned, wishing he had the stealth he used to have when he was younger. Preparing himself for an interrogation, Kariage resigned to his fate, until he heard a frantic scream stopping the guard in her tracks.
“Ma’am! Ma’am! I’m so sorry, he’s with me. I don’t know how he got out, he’s not on his medication right now.” A blonde head of hair ran towards them, grabbing Kariage’s arm and pulling him towards himself.
(He was really getting dragged everywhere today, WASNT he?)
“Oh. Mr. Bakugou, I’m terribly sorry, but he doesn’t have a guest I.D. It is required for all visitors, no matter their relation to the residents of this building.”
Kariage looked up at his savior, watching as his grit his teeth into a smile and glared at Kariage, as if urging him to go along with him. “Ah, yes, he’s part of a new…rehabilitation program Kirishima and I are conducting. I thought you were alerted of this, no?”
If Kariage could talk right now, he make a crude comment about how Katsuki was suspiciously good at feigning innocence and creating lies. Instead, he sat with a solemn look on his face and acted disappointed as if his escape plans were ruined.
Eyes turning into slits as the guard examined Katsuki, she carefully chose her words. “I see. Well then, I’ll leave you to lead him back to his room. I trust that you can handle that, Mr. Bakugou?”
With a firm nod and a tightening grip on Kariage’s shoulder, the guard left them to an empty hallway.
Silence covered the eerie atmosphere, as Katsuki only spared one glance to glare at him before tugging him to Riot’s apartment. “What the FUCK are you thinking? That you were just going to waltz into an apartment that Pro Heroes live in? One that is literally designed to protect us? Are you stupid?”
“-only a little!” He cut in before being stopped by Katsuki again.
“-Don’t even start, Kariage! What the hell are you doing here?”
“…surprising you?” He offered weakly.
“Is that a question or a statement, idiot.” Bakugou’s eyes glared into his soul, Kariage sweating from the pressure.
He sighed before matching Katsuki’s gaze. “Look. I know this is crazy, and dumb, and illogical and whatever but I just- I really needed to see you. To apologize. I need to make amends with you, Katsuki.”
Katsuki’s eyes flicked across his ex-lover’s face, unsure of where to land. “Why are you here. Really.”
As Katsuki’s grip loosened on his arm, Kariage found his voice. “I swear, I’m being honest. I was stupid, and wasn’t thinking right, okay? I was just really stressed and although that doesn’t give a good enough reason to ever leave someone as perfect as you I just took you for granted!”
Katsuki backed away, as if barricading himself from the emotions Kariage once made him feel. “You…hurt me, Kariage.”
He clicked his tongue, as if he had no more apologies to spew out. “Well, you did too, Katsuki. And I’m sorry that I said all that shit because it was wrong of me, but you’re not all that innocent either!”
Malice coated his words, each letter a poison covered dart that shot into the heart of his lover. “Yeah? 𝑰’𝒎 the bad guy? I’m not the one breaking into people’s apartment complexes in the middle of the day!”
Kariage’s eyebrow twitched, a million words left unsaid. “I don’t know why your getting so defensive! I just wanted to apologize- and I hoped you’d have half the maturity to do so as well! Obviously, I was wrong.”
“I don’t know why you came here. I don’t know why I saved you from that stupid security guard! You can leave now, because you obviously don’t care enough to apologize properly.”
“I’m not leaving your friends gaudy fifty-million dollar house until you admit you were wrong too, Katsuki!”
“Either you leave, or I’ll make you leave,” he declared, crossing his arms. “Your pick.”
“Katsuki, just apologize! You said some fucked up shit and your sorry! Just say it!”
“I’m not! I’m not sorry! I’m not sorry that you had such a small ego that your hero complex made you break into my friend’s apartment to try and get an apology out of me!
I’m not sorry that you can’t see where you went wrong! That you were too caught up in your own job of ‘saving civilians’ that you forgot about the one person who you promised you’d take care of! And I’m especially not sorry that I was worried about you enough to express myself for once because I love you!”
A relapsing silence once again settled between the two, leaving Katsuki’s breath the only sound as Kariage processed his words. “If you truly loved me, you’d try to make amends too.”
He paused, waiting for Katsuki’s response. When he found none, he turned away to hide his eyes filling with tears. “This was a mistake. Sorry for ruining your life, Katsuki.”
As he began to grab the door handle, an exasperated “Wait!” Stopped him.
“I- I do love you! I’ve loved you since our shitty cigarette breaks! I’ve loved you since you were the only friend to stick around after I got attacked. I love your stupid hair and your stupid comments and your stupid smell and I can’t live without it,” he trailed off.
“You’ve been with me for everything, and the truth is, I don’t know how to live when you’re not with me. My life started the moment you offered me a cigarette junior year. When you left me, I couldn’t 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. I need your smokey smelling sweatshirts, your soft lips, and your stupid jokes. I need you, Kariage. And I’m sorry that I’ve been too emotionally constipated to admit it but I love you so much that when you left me, life itself didn’t feel real.
If I don’t love you like you said, I wouldn’t have saved you from that dumbass security guard. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have been scared out of my mind every time you came home late from your job. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be in the hallway of my friends house confessing to you right now!” He frowned, looking down on his feet. Breathing in, he finalized himself.
“I’m sorry, Kariage. I’m really, really, sorry.”
With all he’d said, Kariage focused on him. His eyes were still as gorgeous as he’d remembered, now glistening in the overhead lighting as tears slowly raced down his face, falling onto his hands resting below. His hair shook as he yelled, and subtly moved as sobs began to rack his body.
Seeing his distress, Kariage quickly came to his senses. Rushing towards Katsuki, hands cupping his face, he reassured his lover. “Oh, baby, I never stopped loving you.”
As red irises met brown, Katsuki choked out another cry. “Do you forgive me?”
“I’ve already forgiven you.” He smiled, and all Katsuki’s worries were silenced by the loving gaze they shared.
Using his thumb to wipe his tears, still cupping Katsuki’s face, Kariage leaned in and encased Katsuki’s lips with his own. Time stopped. Engines stopped roaring, streets grew quiet. All was right in that moment. There was a tranquility that followed their reconciliation, a rainbow after a storm. They were no longer suffering when they lay in each other’s arms.
As Kariage broke away, he slyly smirked at Katsuki. “Are my lips as soft as you remember?”
Turning red, Katsuki lightly hit his arm, mumbling curses before looking up at him again. “If you ever want to hear me say anything remotely sweet about you again, you better shut up and continue kissing me.”
“That’s alright with me.” Came his immediate response. As they continued to kiss, Katsuki’s arms wrapped around Kariage’s neck as his continued to hold his face. The only sound in the apartment was whispered proclamations of love and breathy smiles.
Until a loud voice broke them apart as they quickly jumped.
“What. The. Fuck.”
Turning towards the source of the noise, both boys froze as a man with red spikey hair, who Kariage knew as Red Riot, stood in front of them in a ratty Crimson Riot tee.
“Bakugou, when I said you could crash on my couch, I did NOT mean you could bring your hookups around! This is dangerous for both of us, we don’t know him! Not to mention that rebound guys are not healthy- it’s only been a week! What the hell, dude.”
Kariage stood, unmoving in shock, hoping that if he stayed silent enough, they would forget he was there.
“Kirishima, no! It’s not like that why would you even insinuate that! You’re so stupid! This is obviously my boyfriend.” He snarled, eyes narrowing as to distract from the deep color of blush setting into his cheeks.
“Your boyfriend? Like…your ex?” The redhead whispered in a confused daze.
“Oh my god, yes, dumbass! Who else?”
With a noncommittal shrug from the other, Katsuki continued. “We made up, it’s fine! Don’t make it awkward, Kiri.”
“I’m not the one swapping spit with their boyfriend in their friend’s apartment! Get a room, you two. Better yet, get an apartment. One preferably out of mine.” He joked.
“Whatever…” Katsuki huffed.
“Well, before you go, since you won’t introduce me yourself, I’m Kirishima Eijiro!” He smiled, turning towards Kariage.
“Uhm…yes, I’m Kariage. Nice to meet you, Kirishima.” He replied hesitantly.
“The honor is mine. Now that we’re acquainted, I’d like to say that if you ever break up with Bakugou and leave him homeless 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, I will personally find and arrest you for vigilantism.” He added darkly before returning to a smile.
“Sorry to threaten you, bro, but precautions are precautions!” He cheerfully shrugged.
“It’s all…good?”
“Alright, shut up you two. It’s paining me to watch this.” Katsuki cut in.
“Well, I hope you can get your affairs sorted out now! I love you Bakugou, but you’ve used all my tissues.” Kirishima supplied.
With one last glare towards the redhead, Katsuki ushered Kariage towards the room he was residing in.
“Damn, Red Riot’s got money,” he whistled.
“Don’t be stupid,” Katsuki scoffed. “We’re Pro Heroes.”
Ignoring Katsuki, Kariage admired the room. It was nicely decorated for a guest room, besides the thousands of tissues littering the room and the rumpled sheets that looked stained from snot and tears. A pang of hurt went through Kariage’s chest, as he hoped- vowed to never be the man who would hurt him like this again.
———————
Katsuki slid into his temporary room, closing the door softly. He sighed, looking at the mess of the room and wondering how he would be able to be packed by tomorrow. Night had already fallen, and his belongings were strewn about everywhere.
Somehow, his attention was drawn to the open window that let in a faint breeze into the room. Suppressing the urge to smile, Katsuki walked towards the window, spotting a silhouette perched on the rooftop below the window.
Stepping out of the room and onto the rooftop, Katsuki placed his hand onto his lover’s shoulder. Turning to look up, Kariage’s face was illuminated by the soft glow of the light in the roof that cast out into the night. Taking in his presence, Katsuki fell in love all over again.
He was as beautiful as the day he met him. More beautiful, if Katsuki was being truthful. Behind the hard edged and brash attitude he once fell in love with, Katsuki was now in love with the caring and attentive person he truly was. Charming. Handsome. Gravitating. Everything about Kariage was tantalizing. Katsuki couldn’t ask for anyone better in the world.
Katsuki sat down next to Kariage, placing his head on his shoulders as he took in the view of the city.
“It’s dangerous out here. More slanted than the rooftops you used to scale.” He warned.
Kariage said nothing, pulling him in closer until Katsuki’s head was nestled in between his collarbones and his body was encased with his own.
“I missed you,” Was the warbled out confession that was unsaid by both men.
“Me too,” Was the said response.
Kariage placed a kiss onto Katsuki’s unruly hair, tangled and knotted by the breeze.
“It’s cold for July.” Kariage states.
“Yeah. It is.” Katsuki replied noncommittally.
“I used to imagine different objects were you when I got lonely. I don’t have to anymore.”
“I will be there for every sunrise you wake up to and every sunset you fall asleep to,” he vowed. “…I never knew what loss was until I lost you.” Kariage confessed.
“And you‘ll never have to know again.” Katsuki claimed. “Just, promise me this.” He added.
Rubbing his knuckles into Katsuki’s scalp, Kariage responded. “What?”
“Hold me when the sun comes up. So I can know indefinitely that I’ll always wake to the arms of my lover.” Katsuki looked away.
Kariage brought his head to his eyes, using his free hand to tilt it upwards. “Every day the sun rises, will signify a day with me. Our new start. Together. I promise you this, Katsuki.”
“Then I have no reason to doubt you.” Was his reply.
With that silence overlapped the two star crossed lovers. It was a peaceful, calm silence. One not filled of the previous tension and anger. One full of promises and hopes. Dreams that both lovers knew would be fulfilled.
As the stars began to shine through the dense clouds shadowing their faces, Katsuki didn’t care about his need to pack. He didn’t care about what their future held. All he knew was that as long as Kariage was in it, he would never be alone again.