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Just when Clint thought his life couldn't get any weirder, it threw another curve ball at him. Aliens and gods and monsters? Check. Being on the team with some from the said category? Check. (His wife being more supportive of his increasingly dangerous career than he ever hoped, never mind deserved? Check and check, but that wasn't weird, that was a miracle he was grateful for every day of his life and will do his utmost to repay by coming back to her, always.)
So here he is, sitting on his porch and sharing lemonade with a frazzled-looking... him, for the lack of a better word. Because across the table from Clint, still surreptitiously throwing uncomprehending glances around the farm (The Barton Farm, as those assholes of his team-mates have started calling it) and determinedly not looking at the house behind him, sits... Hawkeye. Dressed in a tac-suit with SHIELD insignia but which obviously had some work done on it by Stark, gripping his bow with uncharacteristic nervousness, his face at the same time younger-looking and more worn than the one Clint is used to seeing in the mirror.
Not that Clint himself is a picture of equanimity, no. He's playing a gracious host now, but his own weapon is still across his lap (the shotgun was the closest to hand, so sue him) and his pulse still hasn't calmed down from the hammering caused by hearing Coop's querulous "Daddy?" and running out to find him frozenly staring at the uniformed man with his father's face and half-strung bow. The only reason he hadn't emptied the shotgun into the interloper's face was the bewildered look in the man's eyes, especially when he took in Clint's face, and the way he carefully didn't aim the bow in anyone's direction.
So after shooing Coop into the house, lowering the shotgun, exchanging some words with... Hawkeye and making a what-the-fuck-just-happened call to Hill, here they were, sipping lemonade and being as awkward as two Bartons can possibly get (which is very). Luckily, his phone breaks the tension and it's Hill on the line, confirming that there has been another case of a parallel-universe doppelganger (seriously? that's what they're calling it?) in SHIELD, that they are apparently harmless (or at least, not intending harm), and that whatever phenomenon launched them into this universe should wear out in less than 24 hours (and Clint would really like to know what kind of science is able to predict that, but he knows better than to ask). He gives the gist of it to Hawkeye (not that he was out of earshot during the conversation) and goes in for a minute to tell Laura they'll have an overnight guest, reassure the kids and ban them from gawking outside for a while yet. Then he's back on the porch, the shotgun leaned against the wall but still within reach, and looking at Hawkeye.
"Well...", yup, his words still fail him. By the way Hawkeye fidgets, the other-him is not so good with verbal expression, either. This should be fun...
"Yeah." Hawkeye replies. "Um... so, family?" And then he promptly winced, inwardly berating himself for idiocy in a way Clint's intimately familiar with.
"Yeah", Clint grins, "wife and three kids. I'm still not sure what I did to deserve them."
Hawkeye smiles bashfully at that. He's cute in a way Clint barely remembers being. "When did you meet her?"
"Oh, it must be almost 12 years now... Before I joined SHIELD, when I was still a merc. I joined because of her, really... she saw something in me, and I wanted to prove myself worthy of her regard. And when she got pregnant with Coop, well, a legit job with decent salary, health-plan and insurance was suddenly much too good an offer to pass up."
Hawkeye looks wistfully across the grounds: "I guess we're kinda similar in that way... 'though I was recruited earlier, and the choice was either SHIELD or remaining inside for life. An offer I couldn't refuse, indeed."
Clint’s insides froze at that. He could guess what had brought a younger Hawkeye to prison, and what inmate life must have been like. Clint himself escaped that fate by the skin of his teeth. It all must have shown on his face, because Hawkeye smiled at him, smile growing warmer as he spoke.
"The guy they sent to recruit me ended up being my handler, and kinda like your Laura, saw something in me. I spent years busting my ass to prove myself worthy of his faith, until...", and here Hawkeye hurriedly cut off and averted his eyes, but Clint knew what besotted looked on his face.
"Just like my Laura, eh?" Hawkeye kept his face resolutely turned away, but Clint could see a light blush warming his ears (Barton men specialty, that one). "Huh."
It was a weird kind of weird, knowing that in another universe, he fell for a man. He did a quick inventory of his friendships but no new self-realization dawned. "Gay, eh?"
Hawkeye stiffened at that, so Clint winced and hurried to reassure him: "It's just a surprise, I never felt that way for a guy."
"I'm probably bi", sighed Hawkeye. "I slept with other guys before, but once I joined SHIELD it was mostly women, until... yeah. He's the only guy I loved. Hell, he's the only one I ever truly loved like that."
Clint's heart felt heavy in his chest as he fought an overwhelming need to hug the boy in this man's body and shield him from all the hurt he lived through. His daddy-instincts, Laura'd call it. In the end, he limited himself to patting Hawkeye's arm comfortingly, and then leaving his hand resting there. Hawkeye released another big sigh and slumped in his chair, stretching his booted legs. They both stared into distance for a while, in a relaxed silence.
"So, are you together with this guy?" Clint finally gave in to the curiosity. Hawkeye smiled a fleeting smile. "Yeah. He was actually with me when this dimension-travel shit happened, so he's probably that other doppelganger your Hill told you about." Huh. That explained why Hawkeye first relaxed during the phone call - it was not hearing that the effects of dimension-travel shit were temporary, it was realizing that his partner was more-or-less safe (if scientifically prodded) in SHIELD.
The house lights came on as the sky darkened, and Hawkeye turned to look through the windows into the house for the first time since he sat on the porch. Clint half-turned himself, looking at Hawkeye studying Clint's family. Laura was in the kitchen starting the dinner, with the baby dozing in the carrier on the kitchen table, while Coop and Lila watched cartoons in the living room.
"I never thought I'd have a family", Hawkeye said. "What I have with... my partner... I never thought it could be real, you know, not with out jobs, not with it being two men. But it just kept getting more, and we started talking about making it official, when Loki happened." Here Hawkeye glanced at Clint, taking in his serious face. "Loki happened to you, too?"
"Yeah", Clint gritted out and then let out a sigh to force himself to relax. "He did." Hawkeye gazed at him with those eyes that see better than anyone else's, and he returned the gaze. After a minute, Hawkeye lowered his eyes. "My partner died in the Battle of New York." Clint's heart lurched. Hawkeye grinned a crooked smile. "He got better, though."
"It seems to be going around" Clint quipped, while his mind reeled. If something had happened to Laura or the kids while he was compromised by Loki... "Shit."
"Shit." Hawkeye agreed. He broke the silence after awhile: "Anyway, once he got better and I got better, we decided to throw caution to the wind and got hitched, officially." He pulled out a ring on the chain around his neck and proudly displayed it to Clint. "It will be three years this July."
Clint's bright grin matched Hawkeye's as he congratulated him. It was then Laura stepped out to the porch, baby Nate fussing in her arms. She promptly deposited him into Clint's lap, with instructions to keep him fed and occupied until the dinner was ready. She returned in a minute with the bottle, smiled a unfathomable smile at the two men, and disappeared back into the kitchen. Clint's eyes lovingly followed his wise wife, and then he turned to offer the bottle to Hawkeye, who was staring at the baby (staring back at him with all the disinterest of a fat cat): "Do you want to feed him?"
Hawkeye almost jumped, as he looked at Clint with wide eyes. But then he quickly nodded and extended his arms to receive the baby. Clint was worried for a minute that Hawkeye wouldn't know how to hold Nate, but he quickly adjusted the baby in his arms and smiled at him with wonder. "Hello, little man. I'm your sorta-uncle Clint." Nate looked back at Hawkeye with serious eyes, and then yawned meaningfully. Smiling at the sight, Clint passed Hawkeye the bottle in order to prevent the yawn from becoming a yowl. Hungry babies are not to be trifled with... Hawkeye learned that wherever he learned how to hold babies (Clint was totally helpless when Laura first handed him baby Coop), so he promptly offered him the nipple and grinned as Nate latched onto it and started sucking.
"What's his name?", he asked Clint.
"Nathaniel Pietro." Hawkeye crooked a curious eyebrow at Pietro, but only said "Nathaniel... after Nat?" At Clint's confirming nod, he smiled again. "Nat will be pleased to hear that she's the one constant throughout the universes." Clint grinned at that - it was true, after all. He had no doubt he and his Nat shared the same relationship as Hawkeye and his Nat. Except... "Did you ever sleep with her?"
Hawkeye blushed and fidgeted again. "I may have once or twice, but, yeah, we realized we didn't really work that way and she cottoned onto my feelings for... y'know. You?"
"I was already married with kids when we met!"
"That doesn't prevent people from sleeping with other people." Hawkeye remarked, and then scrunched his eyebrows trying to parse the sentence to see if it made sense.
"It prevents me." Clint said seriously, at which Hawkeye nodded just as seriously and lifted Nate over his shoulder to burp him.
One burp and sticky spot on tac-uniform's shoulder ("Not the worst it's seen, it'll come out in the wash") later, Nate was back in Clint's lap, chewing his toy and studying Hawkeye making faces at him.
"You're good with babies." Clint said as Hawkeye's peek-a-boo drew out a chortle from Nate. "Did you think of having some of your own?"
Hawkeye smiled wistfully: "Not my-own my own, ever since I fell hard for a guy I kinda wrote that off. But after we got married, I kept thinking we could adopt, some kid families usually wouldn't want, you know..."
Oh, Clint knew, intimately. He might have squeezed Nate a bit too hard, since he voiced a protest before continuing to chew on the toy.
"What's stopping you?" he asked.
"Oh, you know, lifestyle, risks, stuff. But now I see you managing it, maybe it's worth a try. I'm getting too old for avenging as it is, and Phil is mostly desk-bound ever since New York. He'd make a great dad, too..." Lost in daydreaming, Hawkeye didn't realize his slip. Automatically, Clint started mentally flipping through SHIELD agents called Phil, possibly dead in the Battle... and his mind stuttered.
"Phil Coulson? You married Phil COULSON?!"
Nate squealed a protest at the yell while Laura cast a curious look at the porch. Hawkeye smiled sheepishly. "Yeah?"
Well, that was even weirder weird than being gay. Phil was a decent guy and reliable as all hell, but somewhat nerdy and hard to get close to. They worked well together and were friendly enough, but he wouldn't call them more than acquaintances. Hawkeye suddenly furrowed his brows: "Wait, did your Coulson survive New York? Or, well..."
"Oh, he got better." Clint grimly answered. "In fact he's currently... never mind. That's why your Phil showed up where he did - just like you, close to this world's version of him."
Hawkeye nodded his understanding and grinned. "I wonder how their talk will go."
Clint started to grin, too, imaging the other-Coulson's surprise at meeting the new Director of SHIELD, when he remembered something and blanched. "Your Phil..." he asked Hawkeye, "does he still have... um. Is he intact?"
Hawkeye looked back in confusion: "Well, he has scars and holes and stuff, but if you mean does he have all his parts attached, he does."
"Well, then he's in for some surprises", Clint breathed, ticking Nate absentmindedly (Nate wasn't ticklish, unlike Lila). Hawkeye's query was interrupted by Laura's call to dinner and thumping of kids' feet. Well, he'll find out soon enough.
EPILOGUE
"This was unexpected." Phil blurted, his gaze riveted to the Director's left arm.
"I can't say I'm surprised that got your attention, but I did hope you would admire the office first", Director Coulson sighed.
Or that Phil would be tactful enough not to mention the elephant in the room... Well, it was embarrassing and unprofessional of him, so Phil quickly lifted his eyes and smoothed his expression into the bland agent one. It lasted all of four seconds faced with the ironic eyebrow and weary look of the Director.
"I'm sorry", Phil apologized sincerely, "it's just that... it was a shock", and then he promptly blushed - the loss of hand must have come as a much bigger shock to this universe's Coulson, and judging from the way he carried himself it was still relatively fresh. "I suppose this rattled me more than I expected."
"Well, they do say that you have to sacrifice something when you become the Director of SHIELD", the Director wryly answered.
Phil was quick to grab the cue. "They say Nick got his omniscience in exchange for the eye", and if that wasn't a rip-off on legend of Odin... strangely apt nevertheless, "what did you get in exchange for the hand?"
"We do have a growing Gifted division in SHIELD, lead by a wonderful young agent... I think you'd like her." And now the Director's expression softened into something not wholly professional. Phil felt a stab of longing and at the same time smiled, glad that this Phil has found family as well. "I'd love to meet her, if we'll have time."
"Yes, we really should get on with the business" the Director straightened his back and made an aborted move to fix his tie, smoothly transitioned into picking up the pen. Phil stolidly pretended he didn't notice and earned a grateful shadow-smile in return. "I think it best we start with the events in months leading to the fall of SHIELD. If you will pick up the file on your right, we compiled a timeline, list of known Hydra agents and SHIELD loyalists, living and dead, as well as the list of deceased of unknown affiliation. If you could go through it and give me information of how this differs from the events in your universe..."