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It’s raining when Zhuzhi-lang first meets the boy from Huan Hua Palace.
A waning sliver of pale moonlight hides behind dark purple clouds and the dense waxy leaves of Bailu Forest’s towering trees. Water drips in long, steady rivulets down sturdy umber trunks, greedily soaked up by the damp earth below. Zhuzhi-lang takes advantage of the lack of light to slither out of view. Humans are only fit to interact with when one remains unseen.
The boy who strides with purpose beneath the storm is young, possibly mid-teens, but Zhuzhi-lang cannot assume anyone with shining white robes and unblemished skin is the age they may appear to be. After all, Zhuzhi-lang’s now absent human form is forever frozen at fifteen.
He misses that appearance dearly.
From where he’s crouched in shadow, Zhuzhi-lang watches the boy’s movements with unblinking eyes. He needs to know if this young one is a threat. Either to himself or the nearby cave where Zhuzhi-lang ventures daily in his attempts to pluck the extraordinary mushroom sprouts within.
The rain soon lessens to a mere drizzle, clouds blow clear of the moon, and the boy is bathed in gentle light. He stands tall and straight-backed, the confident posture of one who is secure in their place in the world. An icy wind blows by causing the unmistakable Huan Hua Palace robes to sway around his ankles. His glances up at the sky; weak moonlight further illuminates the subtle curve of his nose, a smoothly tapered jawline, and full unbitten lips.
He’s beautiful.
Zhuzhi-lang presses himself lower. Twigs and rocks dig into the sensitive skin of his stomach but he pays the uncomfortable sensation no mind. He shuffles back to avoid the possibility of being seen. His efforts are in vain—the muted snap of a thin branch below him cuts through the moisture-laden night.
The boy turns, his movement abrupt. His hand cups the hilt of the sword at his hip. He’s already drawn it out with a slight metallic click when his deep black eyes meet Zhuzhi-lang’s muddy-yellow slitted ones.
Time seems to slow as the two of them regard each other.
And then moonlight glints off the boy’s sword.
Zhuzhi-lang’s instincts are sharper than any weapon; he slithers out of the way before reflected light has the chance to graze his skin. The young cultivator’s expression stays in his mind as he flees with haste. Strong furrowed brows and a curious head tilt, a stark lack of malice revealed in the delicate light of the moon.
Zhuzhi-lang is used to seeing fear and disgust when people come face to face with his inhuman features. Not curiosity.
Strange.
And stranger still—there is no telltale sound of brush underfoot. The boy doesn’t chase after him. Zhuzhi-lang slides past the thick foliage that hides Luzhi Cave from undesirable visitors and waits for his rapidly beating heart to calm. He stays perfectly still, ears straining to hear anything that might be belated footsteps.
Once he is absolutely certain he hasn’t been followed, Zhuzhi-lang slithers down the winding stone passage until he finds the sparkling lake hidden deep within.
He will not be able to grasp the precious mushroom sprouts from their coveted spot forever immersed in celestial light, but he comes close enough to steal a mouthful of lakewater to bring back for Junshang.
How cruel, he thinks, that one who is confined to darkness can only ever yearn for the light. Never to bask under it.
There is a forest on the outskirts of Huan Hua Palace’s territory. Gongyi Xiao goes there sometimes when he’s in need of quiet contemplation or a secluded place to practice new techniques. It’s free of common disturbances—the giggling of his martial sisters and the eager questions of his martial brothers. Not that he minds the attention so much but it’s nice to be free of it all for a moment, to meander beneath the ancient trees and simply breathe.
Bailu Forest has always been peaceful, and still is, but recently Gongyi Xiao ran into…something. That’s the best way he can describe it. The visibility at the time was low so he’s not sure exactly what he saw. Just a brief flash of pale skin and clever glowing eyes, and then the creature was gone.
As a righteous young cultivator and head disciple, Gongyi Xiao considers it his duty to deal with any and all unsavory beings before they have a chance to harm the common man. So he has returned during this warm, sunny afternoon to seek it out. He figures it’s a demonic beast of some sort, but Bailu Forest has always been clear of monsters. There aren’t even regular wild beasts on the prowl.
He searches for nearly an entire day but cannot find a single sign of the creature. Nothing the next day either. Or the following week. A lesser man may have given up hope but Gongyi Xiao is known for his tenaciousness. And it pays off almost a full season later.
Afternoon has just given way to dusk when Gongyi Xiao, about to turn back for the night, spots the barest hint of movement out of the corner of his eye. The greenery that obscures Luzhi Cave rustles and Gongyi Xiao approaches with caution, sword at the ready. Only a select few members of his sect are aware of what grows inside, or even that the cave exists, so he is immediately on alert.
He stills his breathing and waits out of sight, just shy of the entrance. Soon enough, a serpentine creature slithers from the cave. The ease at which it moves doesn’t appear overly cautious; more like this is routine and it doesn’t expect to be interrupted. This is good. Gongyi Xiao will have the element of surprise.
The sharp point of Gongyi Xiao’s sword is steady as he steps forth to halt the beast in its tracks. Gongyi Xiao can’t help but startle when he gets a full look at the creature. Moss green scales dash across unnaturally pale skin in uneven patches, most of its limbs are oddly misshapen, and long unbound black hair frames an androgynous face. It wears no clothes so Gongyi Xiao can see the bizarre way its waist seems to merge into the long tail where legs should be.
The creature flinches back, fear in its pellucid eyes, and a trickle of dew leaks from its lips. It makes no move to attack and Gongyi Xiao realizes with a jolt that this being’s mouth must be full of water from Lushui Lake. Full cheeks attempt to prevent the rest from spilling down its chin. Perhaps it is simply thirsty and is unaware of the treasures within the cave it borrows water from.
They are at a standstill, regarding each other in silence. And the longer Gongyi Xiao observes the creature, the more masculine he appears. Yes. Gongyi Xiao is sure now that this is a man. Or something that has fused with one. Perhaps a horrible qi deviation or divine retribution is to blame. But how he came to be is irrelevant. The important thing is that he doesn’t appear to be a threat. No humans have been attacked for far longer than Gongyi Xiao has been aware of his presence. Gongyi Xiao lowers his sword and the snake-man tilts his head in obvious confusion.
“Is this your home?”
The creature simply blinks at him. Either unwilling to speak or unable to.
“If you continue to act as you have”—Gongyi Xiao sheathes his weapon—“then I’ll leave you be.”
Gongyi Xiao gives a respectful nod, considering this to be the end of their interaction, but the poor creature has become motionless. It’s understandable. The possibility of being skewered by Gongyi Xiao’s sword must be frightening.
“Go on, it’s all right.” Gongyi Xiao waves his hands to gently shoo the snake-man on his way.
Oddly enough, the snake-man makes a hesitant movement towards him before halting and turning the other way. Gongyi Xiao waits until the last vestige of that tail is out of sight before he sighs and sets off to return home. That’s one mystery solved, he thinks.
Over the next couple of years, he continues to see the snake-man every so often. It’s never for long and only in his peripheral vision, but still. And whenever the creature is sighted, Gongyi Xiao always seems to stumble upon little flowers placed in his path that don’t grow nearby. Sometimes he’ll even discover interesting rocks that have miraculously been placed inside his Qiankun pouch.
Such strange coincidences…
The young cultivator’s name is Gongyi Xiao and he has been spending more time in the forest as of late. These two facts are connected, as Zhuzhi-lang has only discovered his name during the cultivator’s recent bout of moping.
He’s been out of sorts—an elegant face made somber, the corners of his lips turned down, frustration clear in his heavy steps. And he makes more mistakes as he practices. Quick to berate himself with a muted groan and an irked plea: “Aiyah, Gongyi Xiao. Get it together…”
Ever since Gongyi Xiao spared his life, Zhuzhi-lang has taken to watching him from the safety of the shadows. Waiting, always waiting, for a chance to show appreciation for his kindness.
Zhuzhi-lang isn’t aware of what’s caused this prolonged period of sulking and he has no way of determining what lies at the heart of the matter. So he continues to follow just out of sight, leaving the most exquisite flowers for Gongyi Xiao to find. Zhuzhi-lang is, unfortunately, used to being helpless while those he admires are doomed to suffer.
Gongyi Xiao sighs to himself as he flips the hilt of his sword and goes through basic forms with halfhearted motions. Sunlight filters through the thick leaves above him, softening his features and adding a mild shine to dark silky hair.
Unable to allow light to touch his skin, Zhuzhi-lang is careful to stay where he’s hidden. But he cannot tamp down on the innate fascination he holds for Gongyi Xiao. This boy who seems to glow like the forbidden sun itself.
Gongyi Xiao widens his stance; his elbow bends as he pulls the sword back. Sunlight glints off the metal.
Spellbound by the fluid movement, Zhuzhi-lang is caught unaware by the shred of unforgiving light that bounces his way. It’s only a tiny bit, and it touches his skin for just a moment, but it burns. Zhuzhi-lang yelps and slithers back.
Gongyi Xiao steps closer, startled by the noise. He lifts a branch which unwittingly sends more painful rays in Zhuzhi-lang’s direction. Zhuzhi-lang cries out once more and presses close to a nearby tree. The hurt—a piercing stab—that comes with the warm light he once cherished is a sensation he’s never been able to get used to.
He peeks aggrieved eyes up at Gongyi Xiao whose mournful expression has somehow managed to droop further. His human body is doing a remarkable impression of a kicked puppy.
“This one apologizes. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” Gongyi Xiao says. He lets the branch fall behind him as he takes a rough seat on the ground. “But I seem to be making mistakes like that a lot lately."
Zhuzhi-lang shifts with hesitance. He doesn’t wish to be confined behind a tree while Gongyi Xiao is here, and kind enough to speak with him, but what if the leaves aren’t dense enough to block the sun?
“It’s all right, you can come out,” Gongyi Xiao coaxes. “I put my sword away and the light can’t reach us here.” He pauses to let out a bitter exhale. “Though I understand why you wouldn’t trust my word for it.”
Zhuzhi-lang trusts him! He does, it’s just…he has no way of verbalizing it. Gongyi Xiao has never harmed him on purpose so Zhuzhi-lang puts a tentative limb beyond the safety of his tree. The earth is cool and dry. After a long moment of gathering his courage, he slithers over to Gongyi Xiao. He stops a good distance away. He doesn’t think it’s his place to be too close, not in this half-serpent form.
Gongyi Xiao cups his hands. “Sorry, again.”
Zhuzhi-lang shakes his head in response. No need to apologize, it’s fine, it’s fine. This humble one has been treated far worse.
“I’ve been trying to avoid people so they don’t have to deal with my poor company but it seems fate has other plans.”
Zhuzhi-lang’s expression must indicate his curiosity because Gongyi Xiao elaborates, “My sect has recently incurred heavy losses and well, I don’t suppose you know of the Immortal Alliance Conference?”
Oh, Zhuzhi-lang most certainly does. Needless to say, he is not a fan of those involved.
“I got second place.” Gongyi Xiao frowns. “That’s never happened before, but I feel it’s wrong to complain since the person who came in first has since perished. I’ll get over it, it’s not a big deal.” His mouth purses in a way that clearly indicates the opposite. He then rushes to add, “My issues, I mean, not his death!”
Zhuzhi-lang refrains from commenting, mostly because his tongue can’t form human speech. And only partly because he’s distracted by the radiance Gongyi Xiao exudes even in the shade, even bogged down by sorrow. This young man is somehow bright. His intangible glow is vibrant, impossible to ignore and yet…it causes no pain.
It has been so long since Zhuzhi-lang has been able to bear the light. Even a facsimile of such warmth is a gift that he will cherish. Such a shame that Gongyi Xiao seems to be embroiled deeply in Huan Hua Palace’s inner circle. Once Zhuzhi-lang has freed Junshang, he must find a way to free Gongyi Xiao as well.
If only to prevent his light from growing dim.
When Elder Shen asks about monsters in the area, Gongyi Xiao says with certainty that there are none. It’s not a lie.
‘A strange beast with loose hair and a deathly pallor’ can be none other than the snake-man Gongyi Xiao passes time with occasionally. But he’s not a monster. And he lives here peacefully. Gongyi Xiao knows that his fellow cultivators are unlikely to understand this, however, so he makes the rapid decision to stretch the truth. He says with perhaps too much conviction, hoping his voice will carry, that it would be for the best if such a creature never appears before them again.
And he will be sure to handle things if it does.
Gongyi Xiao hopes the snake-man will take the hint. He’s unsure of what exactly the cultivators from Cang Qiong Mountain want but as long as they never see his serpentine friend again, they cannot attempt to kill or chase him from this place.
He soon discovers that is too much to wish for…because the darn creature follows them into Luzhi Cave!
It’s dark and Gongyi Xiao has taken the rear so he attempts to shoo the snake-man away to no avail. It’s too late. Elder Shen has already lifted his sword and seen clearly what has been slithering by and head-butting their legs. After a brief altercation, the snake-man flees further inside.
No! Gongyi Xiao wishes to shout. Go the other way! Leave!!
If this continues, Gongyi Xiao will be forced to take action. He cannot disobey those above his status and the men he walks with have been agitated by the snake-man’s antics. The little An Ding Peak Lord hasn’t stopped quivering like a flimsy leaf.
When they enter the wide clearing that holds the sparkling Lushui Lake, Gongyi Xiao’s anxieties become reality. Elder Shen blasts the snake-man from the lake and there is solely one thing Gongyi Xiao thinks to do. Play along.
It is only after Gongyi Xiao has him pinned to the floor with a sword trained on him that there is a glimmer of difference in the snake-man’s clear eyes. Gongyi Xiao prays that his expression will get the point across—This is for your own good, I’m trying to protect you.
Gongyi Xiao is just about to try and fake his kill when Elder Shen stays his hand. Thank goodness! He spares a look back as they take their leave. The snake-man lies on the stone ground, curled in on himself.
Gongyi Xiao resolves to apologize when they meet again. He’ll explain why he treated his friend so harshly.
But the next time Gongyi Xiao visits the forest, the snake-man is suspiciously absent. And the time after that, and the time after that. It is with no small amount of melancholy that Gongyi Xiao comes to the conclusion that perhaps his friend has moved on.
Gongyi Xiao sighs as he takes out his sword to begin practicing.
It’s probably for the best.
It’s unfortunate, but they don’t cross paths again until Zhuzhi-lang spots his little cultivator on the sower-ridden streets of Jinlan City. Gongyi Xiao doesn’t recognize him, of course, but Zhuzhi-lang will change that. Though perhaps…not quite yet.
He watches, unseen, as Gongyi Xiao yields to the easy orders of Luo Binghe. Gongyi Xiao shows nothing other than respect but Zhuzhi-lang is perceptive. Those who are used to the sun are doomed to find difficulty when forced into shadow.
Zhuzhi-lang is nothing if not patient. He waits until Gongyi Xiao is well and truly alone before he ventures out to make his greeting. They are just about to pass each other when Zhuzhi-lang steps too close, ‘accidentally’ brushing their shoulders together.
“My sincerest apologies.” Zhuzhi-lang makes a great show of cupping his hands. “This humble one wasn’t watching where he was going.”
Gongyi Xiao matches his movements, inclining his neck. “I could say the same. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
He straightens his back and Zhuzhi-lang comes to the abrupt realization that Gongyi Xiao has to look up to meet his gaze. All of his memories of Gongyi Xiao are from low to the ground; it’s strange and thrilling to make new ones from this height.
Gongyi Xiao shifts as if to continue on his way but Zhuzhi-lang sidesteps to stop him. He doesn’t know what to say but if Gongyi Xiao leaves then…
“Is there something I can help you with?” Gongyi Xiao’s head tilts in good-natured bafflement.
Zhuzhi-lang’s lips part but no words escape. He feels shy all of a sudden, unworthy. He looks into Gongyi Xiao’s eyes, searching for something. Recognition maybe? But no, that’s not quite it. He takes a deep breath before finally asking, “Does…does gongzi remember this lowly one?”
“We’ve met?” Gongyi Xiao blinks in honest confusion.
“Mn.” Zhuzhi-lang nods. “But it was some time ago and I looked a bit different.” One of his snakes slithers up his shoulder to peek at his new companion. Zhuzhi-lang absentmindedly reaches up to stroke the pad of his finger along its small triangular head. ”I would understand if—”
He pauses as Gongyi Xiao’s polite smile morphs into one of surprise.
“Hold on.” Gongyi Xiao blinks a couple of times before he speaks in a low tone, almost to himself. “You’re not...you can’t be the snake-man from Bailu Forest?”
“I am.” Zhuzhi-lang cannot keep the smile off his face as he bows. “Zhuzhi-lang. Pleased to formally make your acquaintance.”
Gongyi Xiao just stares at him for a long moment. He seems to be wrestling with the idea that the young master in front of him is the same half-serpent creature who used to follow him around. Zhuzhi-lang tries not to preen under the attention. Or blush. His humanoid form has always been quick to show his feelings.
“We did not part on the best of terms.” Gongyi Xiao hesitates. “Why have you returned now?”
Zhuzhi-lang raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with how they parted. Gongyi Xiao was only trying to help. But they will have to have this discussion another time.
“I have some other matters to attend to but I’ll find you later and tell you everything. I promise.”
“All right,” Gongyi Xiao agrees. “I’m staying over at—”
“I know where you’re staying.”
“...”
Zhuzhi-lang bows once more, leaving Gongyi Xiao to ponder the strange reappearance of someone he must have believed to be gone forever.
Zhuzhi-lang’s steps bounce. This has all worked out better than he could have hoped.
He’s mildly disappointed that he has the sowers to deal with and can’t stay with Gongyi Xiao now, but he supposes it’s better in the long run.
After all, it will be much easier to make off with a Huan Hua Palace disciple in the dead of night.
As it turns out, Gongyi Xiao does not see Zhuzhi-lang later that night. Soon after their reunion, the scandalous deeds of Shen Qingqiu come to light and Gongyi Xiao is tasked with escorting him to Huan Hua Palace’s infamous water prison.
Gongyi Xiao’s mind is in a blurry state of disarray when he eventually manages to slip away. He knows Elder Shen to be an upright individual who would never dream of doing the unspeakable things he’s been accused of. The Peak Lord’s mercy towards Zhuzhi-lang is proof enough. None of this makes any sense! Surely, Elder Shen has been framed. Gongyi Xiao clenches his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms.
The righteous indignation he feels on Elder Shen’s behalf is so visceral that it seems to heat his blood. But there’s nothing he can do to help. Gongyi Xiao has been pushed aside in favor of a man whose tongue is silver one moment and barbed the next.
He slips into Bailu Forest with ease. No one cares anymore where Gongyi Xiao is. They only care for Luo Binghe. Gongyi Xiao can feel his face twist bitterly and he attempts to school his expression back into something better suited to the hero he has always believed himself to be. He doesn’t need to see his reflection to know his effort is in vain.
He is just about to head further into the dark when an ice-cold hand covers his mouth. Gongyi Xiao attempts to fight his attacker off but the strength of the person who drags him behind a large tree is incredible. His back is pressed against the trunk and when he looks up there is just enough moonlight to illuminate Zhuzhi-lang’s handsome youthful face.
Gongyi Xiao’s chest heaves. Can it be that Zhuzhi-lang actually does hold resentment towards him?
“My apologies. I didn’t want you to shout.” Zhuzhi-lang’s voice is quiet, the words slow and measured. He pulls back and places his hands into his long trailing sleeves.
It is only after Zhuzhi-lang releases him that Gongyi Xiao realizes there was an unmistakable gentleness to the chilly hands that gripped him. But still, how odd!
“I wouldn’t have screamed,” Gongyi Xiao assures. “Though, you should be more careful. If I was any other disciple—”
“Then you would be dead before a sound could dare to leave your lips,” Zhuzhi-lang says pleasantly. “No need to be concerned. I can handle myself.”
Gongyi Xiao frowns. “You killing other cultivators concerns me.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s wrong.”
Zhuzhi-lang tilts his head. “But they don’t treat you well.”
“That’s neither here nor there.” Gongyi Xiao is unsure whether to laugh or cry. “Don’t kill anyone. Me or otherwise.”
Zhuzhi-lang bows his head, seemingly chastised. Gongyi Xiao gets the feeling that the expression beneath his curtain of black hair is amused, not sorry in the slightest. But for some reason, Gongyi Xiao doesn’t find this as off-putting as he once might have.
“How did you manage to get back into Huan Hua Palace’s territory? The protective array is still up. How powerful are you?”
Zhuzhi-lang smiles. “Not very. Though, I will take the compliment.”
Surely he’s downplaying his skills. He must be some sort of high ranking demon to have made it so far undetected. Gongyi Xiao finds the obvious humility strangely endearing.
“And why exactly have you come?”
“To take you away from here.”
Gongyi Xiao blinks. “What?”
“I serve a great lord who desires to bring ruin and devastation to the sects who have wronged him. This entire world will be eradicated before long.”
Gongyi Xiao furrows his brow. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am. Extremely so. Oh, but it’s all right! I’ve pleaded for leniency on your behalf. You and Master Shen have shown me kindness, I would like to repay you both by bringing you back to the demon realm. You’ll be safe. Though, I may require some assistance to retrieve Master Shen.”
“No.” Gongyi Xiao cannot believe his ears. This is beyond what he can deal with! He’s just a disciple, and not even an important one anymore. “You shouldn’t have told me this, I can’t…”
He feels awful but there is a not insignificant part of him that says good riddance. The sluggish creep of corruption he has witnessed during his time as head disciple will only continue and the wrongful accusation thrown at Shen Qingqiu is heinous, but such things are not his place to pass judgement on. He’s nothing. He’s no one.
He used to be someone.
The thought stings.
He will never be able to help, not as he is now. He has no power to halt the malfeasance he sees often nor can he stop the destruction that Zhuzhi-lang’s lord will bring. It’s a lose-lose situation.
“Perhaps I was not clear enough,” Zhuzhi-lang stresses. “The annihilation of the great sects is an inevitability. It’s already in motion. No one will be able to stop it. And I will keep you safe whether you wish to come willingly or not.”
Gongyi Xiao hears the earnest plea for what it is but…he just…this is all so much. He feels sort of numb. But not for the right reasons.
He should be more scared, right? He should straighten his shoulders and stand steadfast and brave, should put himself between the sect he grew up in and the villains who have come to destroy it but…
He doesn’t want to.
He has always been the golden boy, the head disciple, the perfect cultivator. He did everything right and still was tossed aside.
Gongyi Xiao doesn’t know when he grew to hate his life at Hua Huan Palace but he realizes with a jolt that he truly despises it. He can’t stand to stay here a moment longer. Though he thinks he would just as much dislike spending the rest of his days in the demon realm. It’s not his home.
Neither place is home.
He needs to make his own.
Before he has even thought through why, Gongyi Xiao blurts, “I will help you break Elder Shen from the water prison.”
Zhuzhi-lang’s clever eyes light up.
“But I will not come with you to the demon realm.”
Before Zhuzhi-lang can argue, Gongyi Xiao continues, “Look. I just want to be myself again. I hate this hollow feeling in my chest, the bitterness that fills my stomach. I dearly wish to be rid of this place and this ache but I don’t think escaping this world will fix that. If you truly feel indebted towards me…just let me be free.”
Moonlight streaks across his face as he finishes his plea. Zhuzhi-lang takes a halting step back, eyes wide and searching. He must see something in Gongyi Xiao’s expression that gives him pause. And then, almost to himself, Zhuzhi-lang says:
“The demon realm is too dark for you anyway.”
“I killed him in passing,” Zhuzhi-lang tells Shen Qingqiu.
Let the lie be treated as fact and spread far. There is no need to look for a dead man, no need to drag him back and take away his light.
Zhuzhi-lang is more than aware of his own withering form. Soon, he will be forced once again into darkness. It is solid repayment, he thinks, to give another the chance to sit beneath the sun and enjoy all that Zhuzhi-lang will never have. He looks up at the moon for what might very well be the last time and hopes Gongyi Xiao will have endless days and nights to soak up the light.
He had told Gongyi Xiao as such when they parted. The two of them had stood beneath a waxing moon and said farewell. The body Zhuzhi-lang staged to look like Gongyi Xiao should fool the humans well enough. With luck, Gongyi Xiao will be able to live freely.
Their paths will almost certainly never cross again and yet the last time they spoke beneath Bailu Forest’s familiar trees, Gongyi Xiao had smiled and said, “Until we meet again.”
Zhuzhi-lang will hold him to it.