Chapter Text
19th March, 1996
Dear Yoongi,
Happy belated 24th birthday, my son.
I hope you are well on the day you receive this letter. Thank you for sending your father and I the money. We used part of it for savings and part of it to cook your favorite meal on your birthday. I hope there was a way for you to be treated to a hearty meal this year. I wish we could have spent it with you.
Your father and I have been doing well. Your brother is also doing well, but I believe you already exchange letters with him too. Your father continues to refuse to clear out your room, even if you told us to do so. I hope you come visit soon, he gets so restless without you, Yoongi-ah.
In other news, I hope you recall that I had been looking for a spouse for you. There were a few families which we met, but their sons or daughters didn’t seem to be a good fit for you. I met with a Jeon family from Busan two weeks ago, on 3rd March. Their son, Jungkook, is one year and six months younger than you. I believe he may be a good fit. He just completed his military service and has wanted to live in America for some time now. Your marriage would be an opportunity for his citizenship.
We had another meal with Jungkook and his family two nights ago. He is a nice boy. You would like him, Yoongi-ah. Trust me when I tell you he is handsome. He is twenty-one years old, tall with big eyes. I wasn’t too happy when I saw he had his ears pierced, but you do as well, so I won’t let that factor into my judgment. When we met Jungkook, he expressed interest in an arrangement. Please call soon so I can inform them of your response.
On the last page, I included the Jeons’ address in case you want to reach out to Jungkook on your own. It would be good to get acquainted with him if you agree to marry him. I know you expressed disinterest for an arranged marriage the last time we met, in the summertime, but the truth is there is not much room for romance in life, Yoongi-ah. It’s what our family has done for many years. I hope you can understand this and make your decision accordingly.
Stay healthy. I hope your work and studies are going well. Your father and I are sending love.
Love,
Mother
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23rd March, 1996
Dear Jeon Jungkook,
Hello. This is Min Yoongi. I hope you receive my letter well.
I’m sure news of our engagement has reached you already. My mother is very adamant on beginning wedding planning as soon as possible. I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but please contribute on behalf of me. My mother might go overboard. I want our wedding to be a quiet affair. I hope you agree.
Honestly, I don’t know what to write to you. There isn't much to me. I’m currently studying business in Chicago. I’ve lived here for the last two years, and typically only visit home in the summertime, although I don’t think it will be possible this year. I live with two other South Korean international students, named Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok. I work at a small Korean-owned piano school near my university.
I want to say this now: I don’t plan to move back to Korea when I graduate.
My mother mentioned you have an interest in living in America. Can I ask what about living in America interests you? I’m curious to see if our lifestyles are compatible. I live in a city. There is a nice Korean community here, so you would feel at home when you move. It really helped me when I first moved here.
What are your interests and hobbies? Is there a job you want to pursue? I want to get to know you before we get married. I don’t think we will have a lot of time before then, depending on if the wedding is planned for summer or winter.
I would also like it if we talked casually. I know I’m older than you, so you can call me hyung, if you want to.
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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2nd April, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
Hi! I was surprised to hear from you. Thank you for writing to me.
I also think we should be partially involved in our wedding planning. My mother and yours have been working together and meeting often to discuss the beginning details. As far as I know, they are leaning towards a summer wedding if you’re able to come back in the amount of time until then, otherwise they’re considering the time around Christmas. When do you finish the school year? I’ve heard that the American school system is different from Korea's.
I don’t mind that I come to live with you in America once we’re married. Honestly, I’ve lived at home my entire life and I’ve hated almost every minute of it. I like the way America is portrayed in films and books. I don’t read anymore, but when I was younger, it just sounded nicer. It doesn’t seem to be as glamorous as they make it out to be, but I would prefer being there, than trapped here. Does this make sense?
I’m currently working at a convenience store in my hometown and I live with my parents, and my younger sister. I just finished my military service at the end of December and haven’t decided what to do with my life yet. I don’t have any dreams or ambitions in terms of a career path, so I hope you don’t mind that I would be still figuring things out while we’re married. From what your mother has said, you seem like a kind and understanding man.
My hobbies mostly consist of listening to music and drawing. I sing a little bit too, but I don’t think I’m that good. It’s nothing special, just for fun. I noticed in your parents house there are a lot of photos with a piano. And you work in a piano school? Have you been playing since you were young?
Do you Sorry, I got distracted and forgot what I was going to ask. I have some more questions now. Do you enjoy living with the other Korean students? I’m sure having other people like us around is comforting. Do you get to eat Korean food often, or just American food? Do you get homesick? These two things are what I worry about when I think about moving away.
I hope you’re healthy, Yoongi-hyung! Please eat your meals well and take care of yourself.
Sincerely,
Jeon Jungkook
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17th April, 1996
Dear Jungkook,
It’s official. I got a job at my university for the summer, so I won’t be able to come to Korea. I already told my mother over the phone, but I want to tell you myself too. I’m sorry. I hoped that we would meet before our wedding, but it doesn’t seem like that will happen. My school year finishes at the end of May, but I’ll begin working almost immediately after. My job will last until mid-July.
I understand what you mean about preferring to live here, rather than at home. While I do get homesick, like you asked, I used to feel suffocated when I was in high school and living at home. I got my military service out of the way and planned to come to America. I managed to earn a scholarship to attend school in Chicago. I like this city. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t mind searching to live elsewhere.
There isn’t any pressure for you to find your career path just yet. You can have a new beginning in America. I hope our marriage can bring you that.
My roommates are fine. Seokjin-hyung is a great chef, so he often cooks us meals. I don’t think I’m a bad cook either, but I’m busy with school, so I never have the chance to be in the kitchen. Hoseok is my best friend. We did our service together and applied to all the same schools. It’s a miracle that we both ended up attending the same university.
To answer your piano question, yes. I’m a classically trained pianist, but I don't have any use for it anymore. I really love music and always dreamed of being a musician. The best I can do now is teach others how to play. What music do you like? Personally I like American rap and hip-hop, but I’m open to other kinds of music too.
How are the wedding plans going? I spoke to my mother on the phone a few days ago and she claimed that you were determined to help with everything. Is it because I asked you to? You don't have to do all that.
I guess another question I have for you is: what do you want to do most in America?
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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30th April, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
I’m sad to hear that I won't be able to meet you until December. I hope your new job goes well. Can I ask what it is? What exactly do business majors do?
I went to the library yesterday, to look for photos of your city of Chicago. It seems busy and bustling. I don’t know if I would like that environment, but I’d willingly stay there until your studies are done. Perhaps later, when you graduate, we can look to live elsewhere. I’m willing to go wherever your work takes you. Of course, when I can get the legal status to work there, hopefully I can find a job and help support us.
I’m glad you have someone close to you that's nearby. Not to be self-pitying, but I won't have that when I come to live with you. Maybe I’ll make friends with your friends, anyway. Seokjin-ssi and Hoseok-ssi sound like very nice people. I only have one friend here, Park Seonghwa. He was excited when I gave him news of our engagement. I think it's because I annoy him a little, but I know he cares too.
Also, you cook? I guess you will have to cook me my first meal in America.
Music wise, I’m also open to a lot of different things. My favorite radio station is the k-pop channel, but I also enjoy music in English or music without words, like classical pieces. Whatever is interesting, I’ll listen to it. I haven't heard much rap or hip-hop here yet. Is there anything I should listen to by your recommendation?
Ah… The wedding prep. I wanted to do right by you! Our parents are planning to amass a ton of people for the guest list, but I’m trying to cut it down! I’m very serious about this!! (Plus, I would also prefer not to have too many guests.)
To answer your question, I mostly want to see it. I want to see the people and the different cities. I want to see the tall buildings and landmarks and national parks. I want to see what America has, in comparison to Korea. I want to see if America lives up to its name.
Is this a game? Should I also ask a question? I guess mine for you would be: what do you look like now? I only saw photos of you as a child. Do you have any recent photos of yourself? I understand if you don't know anyone with a camera. No one here has one. But I’m really curious.
Sincerely,
Jungkook
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15th May, 1996
Dear Jungkook,
I hope you’re well. This might reach you late because I’m busy prepping for my final exams.
The job I received is as a teaching assistant. My university has a Korean program to help non-native speakers learn our language, so I decided to apply to help out. I’m not great at speaking English, but I can get by for the sake of living here. I’ve definitely improved in the last few years. Do you have any proficiency in English? If you don’t, I’d suggest you start learning the basics now. It’ll come in handy. (As for what business majors do, it’s boring and lame, so I’ll spare the details.)
When I told Seokjin-hyung and Hoseok about our engagement, they were excited too. Hoseok and I have started to look for apartments that you and I can rent. It’s difficult because most places near my university only have lease openings according to the school year, but I’m still looking. Hopefully I’ll find something that’s close enough and a good fit. I’ve mostly been looking at one bedroom, one bathroom apartments with a decent amount of living space and a good kitchen. What are your thoughts? I’ll try to consider them with my search.
I had to teach myself how to cook when I moved. My mother mailed me all of her recipes when I first moved because I missed home food so much. I hadn't met hyung yet, so now I have some extra help whenever I’m the one cooking.
There are a few songs I’d like you to listen to. Maybe I can send you a mixtape? I don't think anything I listen to is available there, especially if you live in a small town.
I think you’ll like what America has to offer. There's parts of it that are shitty. There are Americans who don't like people who look like us, or don't like when we talk in Korean. But if you overlook the culture and society, the view is pretty. Maybe we can visit some places once you're here.
I had Hoseok give me one of the pictures he took of me on my recent birthday. Please keep it safe, okay? I’m not all-that, if you ask me. I hope it’s not too disappointing.
Tell me more about your younger sister. I don’t even know her name yet. How old is she? Are you close? Maybe she can come stay with us once we’re settled down here.
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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1st June, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
It is currently two in the morning when I’m writing this. I received your letter a few days ago, but haven’t had the chance to sit down and write a response. I got a new job, working the reception desk at our town’s only hotel. It’s nothing special, but my wage is more, so that’s something.
I don’t really have any proficiency in English. I suppose I should head to the library in my spare time and start studying then. I can sort of read the words, but they don’t have any meaning to me. I know “hello” and “how are you” and “I love you” but my knowledge pretty much ends there. I wish we had more access to media in English. All my exposure is limited to films (which are Korean-dubbed) and pop music, which I can’t even understand because we don’t have the internet to search the lyrics.
For our apartment, I think whatever you find will be good enough for me. As long as I have some space to do some drawing or painting, then I’ll be okay. Maybe somewhere with large windows? A balcony might be pushing it, but if you can swing one, I definitely won’t complain. I prefer darkness, but natural light is nice for mornings and evenings. I wouldn’t mind curtains.
I wouldn’t mind if you made me a mixtape. I have a CD player I can use to listen to it. You’re probably right about availability. My family doesn’t even have a functioning TV. I still need to sell it or get it repaired.
My baby sister!! I’m surprised I haven’t mentioned her much yet. Her name is Jungsoon, she’s 17 right now. I showed her the picture you mailed me and we both think you’re really handsome, hyung. You’re not disappointing in any capacity. More so, I’m worried you’ll eventually get tired of looking at me everyday after we’re married. My face is boring. I would send a picture back, and I can’t remember if I said this already, but we don’t have a camera.
Jungsoon is my favorite person. She’s very energetic and kind of a tomboy, but I guess that’s my fault. I taught her how to skateboard and bought her own for her recently. During my service, she mailed me letters every month so I wouldn't feel lonely in the barracks. I’m going to miss her a lot when I come live with you. I hope she can visit at least once, if not often.
I don't know if this is an invasive or too personal question, but it's been on my mind for a couple of weeks. Do you smoke? I don't. My parents do. Kind of the odd one out in that sense. Most Koreans smoke and I never have. Don't worry, I won't make you find a new fiancé if you're a smoker.
In other news, I know you’re finished with your school year now. How is the summer job treating you? Is it difficult? I hope you're eating well and watching your health, hyung. I need to sleep now. My hand is cramping. Goodnight, hyung.
Sincerely,
Jungkook
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16th June, 1996
Dear Jungkook,
I don’t know how to express how I feel about you being awake at two am. That’s not good for your body. You should sleep early if the new job permits. Can I ask what you usually do with your money? Does it go to your savings or does it go to your parents?
There are a lot of opportunities to learn English here. One guy I’m working with in my new job is named Namjoon Kim, he’s Korean-American. I feel like he would be a good teacher for you. He was good with the non-Koreans the last few days at work, so I figure working the other way around wouldn’t be too hard. I’ll ask him about it and see what he thinks? He’s a year younger than me, so hopefully he’ll stick around by the time you’re here.
Update about the apartment search: I found a decent listing. It isn't an apartment, really. It's a one story house, with a large glass back door and all the things we’re both looking for. The downside is that the house is joined with another, like a townhouse, so we’d share one wall with other tenants. Does this bother you? Please tell my mother so she can call and let me know. That way I can put in the deposit.
You probably already saw it, but I sent a mixtape with this letter. I might mail it in a small package if I have the right amount of stamps. Which it looks like I do, so I hope you enjoy. Write back what you think of them.
Jungsoon sounds really wonderful. I'm glad you have someone you're so close with, Jungkook-ah. I’m sorry to be taking you away from her, and her away from you. Like you said, maybe she can come visit once we’re settled down. I look forward to meeting her at our wedding.
In simple terms, no. I don't actively smoke. But I do on occasion because it's a social thing. It's not like I carry around a pack. Honestly, I prefer drinking. It helps me unwind. My go-to is whiskey after living in America for a few years, but I’ll never turn down soju with a meal. Wine is nice too, if the occasion is right.
The new job is good, but too social, if I’m being entirely honest. The students are ambitious to learn. Many of them have aspirations to speak multiple languages. I struggle enough with two, I admire these people who aim for even more. While their enthusiasm is heartwarming, it's completely draining. I always feel so put-out at the end of the day. I fall asleep on the couch sometimes, it's that bad. At least I’m making money alongside the piano job.
Your mention of skateboarding reminded me that my mother said you have your ears pierced. When did you get them? I got mine as soon as I was finished with my service. I have two and usually only wear hoops in them.
I hope you're taking care of yourself well, Jungkook-ah.
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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3rd July, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
Hyung, it's been one hell of a month. You have no idea how chaotic things are here. I think the stress of the wedding is getting to everyone and it’s still almost five months away. The planning has been crazy. Our entire lives our parents have waited for us to get married, respectively. So every fucking fraction of a won is going into this. I think it's a waste. It's just a stupid fucking wedding. I might as well come live with you now.
To clarify, half my paycheck is savings and half is for my parents. We’re not rich, by any means. We’re not poor either. But we need everything we can get. I don't see the point though, if they're going to waste it on this fucking wedding.
Okay. I took a couple minutes to calm down. Your friend Namjoon sounds kind. If he’s willing, I wouldn’t mind learning more English from him. Trying to learn here is useless because there’s no one to practice with. At least there I can put the English to good use. No one I know speaks well.
I hope that home listing you told me about is still available. That sounds nice, hyung! It would be better than an entire apartment, dealing with people all around us. I wish there were a way for me to see it so I know what to expect, but obviously I can’t. I trust your judgment. If you think this place will be suitable for both of us, I’m giving you the go-ahead to put the deposit down.
I listened to the mixtape you sent me. I wish you would have sent me a list of the songs you added so I could tell you which ones I liked the most. Even if I couldn’t understand what the men and women were rapping about, I appreciated their flow and the way the beats sounded. It's good music, hyung. I understand why you prefer that genre.
I can't even express my relief that you aren't a smoker. It's really so bad for your body. I wish I could get my family to quit, but that's only my wishful thinking. My go-to alcohol is beer or soju, but wine is nice for quieter nights.
You should take some rest, hyung. You seem to push yourself and work very hard. Is it selfish of me to ask you to allow yourself a break?
I got my ears pierced recently. In February, because I knew my parents were going to start looking to marry me off. They were skeptical when I asked for a husband and not a wife, but I’m glad they complied and found someone like you. It seems that you and I will be just fine.
I am taking care of myself as best as I can, hyung. I hope you’re doing the same. I don't know what question to ask this time. Maybe… Why did you agree to marry me?
Sincerely,
Jungkook
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20th July, 1996
Dear Jungkook,
I know things back home must be stressful with the wedding planning, but just take it one step at a time. I won’t tell you how to react to situations. Honestly, I think hosting an extravagant wedding would be a waste too. I told my mother this and she’s taking it into consideration. Please try to keep composed about this, Jungkook-ah. Continue to save your money. We can convert it into dollars and set up a personal bank account for you. I don’t want you to not have any spending money while you’re here.
I discussed with Namjoon about teaching you English. He’s very willing, which I think is good news. He said that with his help, you should be able to understand the basics by the time I graduate next summer. But Namjoon is a Chicago native, also a business major, so it’s possible we’ll find work nearby to him. Also depending on where I get a job after I graduate, we might have to move after six months. We’ll figure it out once we get there.
As for the listing I told you about, I didn’t have much time after I mailed the letter and started waiting for you to send one back, so I just put in the security deposit when the landlord gave me a deadline. Currently, only my name is on the lease agreement and I’m subleasing it to an American couple for the next six months. They understand that we’ll be moving in at the beginning of January. So I’m glad you said yes, since I already went ahead with it.
Jungkook-ah, I’m really happy you enjoyed the mixtape I sent you. Sorry I didn’t include a list of the songs. I can’t even remember which ones I put in. Maybe once we meet, we can listen to it together and I can tell you the names of all the songs. Then you can tell me which ones you like. Deal?
I’ve been taking breaks well, Jungkook-ah. Don't worry too much about my health. I’m in good shape.
Why did I agree to marry you? The answer is simple enough. I trusted that my parents chose someone who would be a suitable life partner for me. If they thought you were a good fit, then I believe them. There are no deep factors as to why I accepted the arrangement offer.
When is your birthday? It might appear as a stupid question but I figure knowing my future husband's birthday would be important. Has it passed? What did you do to celebrate/what do you hope to do to celebrate?
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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12th August, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
Thank you for your reassuring words. I remember that I was having an off-night and I felt so guilty that I got angry in my letter, but I was too tired to write a new one. I have continued to save whatever money I can. If there's any way I can transfer the money to you before our marriage, I would appreciate doing that.
I’m happy to hear the place you’re renting the place you were looking at. I trust your standards and expectations. I don't have preferences other than the ones I already told you. Not that I could remember them if I wanted to.
Deal on listening to the mixtape together. I was frustrated that I couldn't tell you the names of the songs I liked the most. No one I know here has heard this stuff, so there wasn’t anywhere to look for an answer. I’m willing to wait and find out.
My birthday is soon. I was born on 1st September, 1974. I’m turning twenty-two this year. Before, I used to just celebrate it with my friends. Maybe go to the park. I would take my skateboard with me. This year, I don't want anything exciting. Something quiet with my family. My mother usually cooks seaweed soup, so I look forward to that.
What made you want to learn to play the piano?
Sincerely,
Jungkook
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1st September, 1996
Dear Jungkook,
Happy birthday, Jungkook-ah. I hope you ate seaweed soup and enjoyed it well. I know you won't receive this until well after your birthday, but I still hope you had a good day today. You deserve it. Especially because it’ll be your last birthday in Korea.
We didn't discuss gift-giving, but I thought you might appreciate something new and fancy to have during the wedding and after. I told my mother to choose according to what she knows as my taste. I don't know what they look like, but I hope you like the earrings and you wear them often. I hope they make you think of me.
The school year has begun. I’m already exhausted. Business is a relentless major. I enjoy it to some extent, but I am a little tired of studying it. It's my final year. Of course I’m exhausted. When you come, do you think you might consider going to school?
I started piano when I was five years old. It was mostly my parents' idea, but I was interested in it too. Besides hip-hop and rap, I grew up on classical music. My parents had many vinyls. I still have some and own a record player, although CDs are more common now. I want a piano, though. Our new place might have space. Would you be okay if I bought one?
I’m sorry to keep this letter short. There's a lot going on here and not enough space for me to explain while written down. I’ll leave you with my phone number if you want to talk for a little bit at a time. Our time difference is 14 hours so keep that in mind. Please don't call me when it's nighttime.
My question this time: What’s your favorite Korean dish? I want to know so I can practice cooking it for you. Wouldn’t want your first meal here to taste bad.
Sincerely,
Min Yoongi
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2nd October, 1996
Dear Min Yoongi,
Hi hyung. I’m sad this letter didn’t reach me sooner. Must have been some delay with the delivery. Thank you for the well wishes for my birthday. I spent most of it painting and skateboarding with Jungsoon. She bought me ice cream after we ate lunch. My mother cooked seaweed soup for me.
Thank you for your gift, too. I was really shocked. It didn’t come in the mail until a few days after. Your note was also very sweet. Since you don’t know what your mother picked out for me, I’ll describe them to you. They’re a very mesmerizing, yet simple pair of earrings. They’re studs. Not too big, but enough for light to catch when I wear them. The stone is white sapphire, similar to a diamond, but definitely not when you get a closer look. I like them a lot, hyung. Thank you again. I think of you every time I put them on.
I’m sorry the school year has been exhausting already. But I believe in you hyung! You can push through. From what I’ve learned about you through your family and your letters, I just know that you will make it to graduation safe and sound. Fighting, Yoongi-hyung!
What kind of question is that? Of course I’ll be okay with you buying a piano, hyung. That’s something part of your life and I don’t want to take that out. Besides, I’m sure your piano playing is lovely. I hope you fill our future home with beautiful music.
My favorite dish is pork belly. I love meat a lot and grew up eating it whenever I got sad. My town is small, you see, so all our local restaurants and stores get their meat from the farm just a handful of kilometers out of town. It’s a lot cheaper out here than in the big cities. I’m sure it might be expensive in Chicago too. Don’t stress about making it for me, hyung. I’m happy eating grilled fish too. And I trust you very much to make it taste good.
Don’t apologize for having a short letter. I understand there are things out of our control. I will try my best to keep our time difference in mind before calling you. I’ve wondered what your voice sounds like, and I wonder if you wonder what mine sounds like. We will probably not be able to talk long because of the time difference and the cost, but I’ll take what I can get.
Do you have a favorite book, hyung? I don’t know if you read much. Personally, I find reading boring, but I want to know if you have one that you particularly like.
Sincerely,
Jungkook