Chapter Text
Soobin would never call himself a stalker, let alone a pervert.
He was a good student, a good son, he’d gone on dates with girls even.
It wasn’t his fault that Beomgyu was all that he liked in a girl, just…in a man.
He saw him on the first day of college and really thought he was a girl, with his long hair and just the cutest oversized sweater he was wearing—as if they didn’t make clothes suited for his body type.
They shared two classes during their first semester, and really, if destiny didn’t want them together, then why would they have their last classes of the day on the same two days? Or, live on the same floor in the college dorms, practically neighbors, three doors apart?
Beomgyu noticed, too, and he—in his perfect, angelic manner—had approached Soobin, asking him about his major, making Soobin flustered and push his glasses up when they weren’t really even sliding. It made Soobin hot and bothered, but mostly just bothered; he had never liked guys before, but in his mind, even if Beomgyu was very much so a man, he also was the furthest thing from it.
Soobin’s focus was on math while Beomgyu was taking this first course to have a feel for bioengineering. Neither could pretend they understood each other’s career choice, but they had two classes in common and Beomgyu had the habit of touching Soobin whenever they talked and were in proximity of each other. He made sure Soobin was paying attention, as if there was ever any chance for him to not pay attention to a single word Beomgyu uttered.
He didn’t intend to be friends initially, not with him or anyone else, not really. But Beomgyu was so cute, so social, and dependable on Soobin helping him with his homework (and even other assignments outside the classes that the two of them shared). He was so sweet, constantly asking Soobin to teach him things rather than doing them for him—because he hated feeling like he was taking advantage of his friend—when that couldn’t be further away from the truth.
The older would end up staying a night too many in his friend’s room, much to his own enjoyment; all cramped in his single bed, with Beomgyu’s smaller frame tucked under his chin. It did nothing but feed into Soobin’s want, into his fantasies, cuddling closer to Beomgyu—smelling the soft scent of his shampoo, faded and mixed with everything else from his day to day. It was so exciting to sleep in the same bed as Beomgyu, to hold him so close to him. He almost felt like a girl, too, just missing the soft curves on his chest—but Soobin could overlook it, he couldn’t be perfect, just almost.
On the days in which they didn’t share classes, Soobin would look for him, would leave class an hour early—just to be able to tire his lungs out as he ran across the campus to be able to catch Beomgyu walking out of his class—offering to grab lunch or walk back to the dorms together; and while most of the time Gyu would agree, he was so social that it was expected he’d make friends in all the other classes they didn’t have together.
Soobin was not a stalker, let alone a pervert. But Beomgyu was just too naive and innocent and trusting of everyone, so when Beomgyu said he wasn’t going to go home with Soobin because Taehyun—Kang Taehyun—invited him over to study one of the topics that Soobin didn’t know about (although not for a lack of trying, there was only so much he could learn about retro-decomposing materials), knowing that this Taehyun didn’t live in the college dorms…he had no choice but to follow him, just for—for his safety.
He had looked up the guy on several apps and sites and he seemed okay—but he really couldn’t be sure—so he opted to follow them. Thankful that this Kang Taehyun didn’t own a car—and that the weather was so bleak that he could comfortably wear a hoodie and face mask—when they stopped at a convenience store (and out of not knowing what the fuck to do to not be so creepy following them around) he ended up buying cigarettes, just saying whatever brand he’d buy every so often for his uncle whenever he went to visit and kept the change. Soobin didn’t specifically enjoy smoking, but it was something to do outside the store without seeming suspicious as he waited.
In the end, he followed them all the way to the apartment complex where Kang Taehyun lived. It seemed like an okay place, perhaps a bit stuck up, but at least it wasn’t a sketchy place in which this man could try to take advantage of Beomgyu. He managed to see Taehyun and Beomgyu enter the elevator, laughing and showing each other things on their phones. He considered staying around, lingering for a while, staying the whole amount of time Beomgyu will be there—but that felt a bit on the masochist side, given how he’d already been thinking about all the things they were probably talking about, all the things they would do.
Beomgyu was gay, that wasn’t a secret at all; Soobin wondered if Taehyun was Beomgyu’s type—he had wondered if he himself was his type— but was too scared to ruin their relationship if he dared ask. But the idea that they might be kissing or doing other things made his skin itch. He sent a few messages; letting Beomguy know he was at the library—a lie, asking if he needed him to take out any books for him, reminding him to eat despite having seen Beomgyu and Taehyun buying food together at the store…
All of his messages got replies within minutes. His friend didn’t seem to be sufficiently distracted, so he sent Beomgyu a message telling him to focus and study. But thirty-four and a half minutes later he sent another message claiming to be bored, seeing if Beomgyu would reply again—it took a few minutes but Beomgyu replied—without an explanation of why he took so long to answer—despite him not knowing he was supposed to.
The next time it happened, Soobin was already waiting for Beomgyu at his place. They were supposed to be working together, but Beomgyu was never late from his class on Monday and it was already nineteen minutes past his usual arrival time. Soobin was ready to run out of his place and look for him when he got a message from the man of the hour himself, apologizing for not being there—something about a group study session he felt he needed really badly for the upcoming midterms. Soobin had to hold back from throwing his phone across the room, reminding himself that Beomgyu would never do anything to betray him, that he has indeed been mentioning as of late that he badly needed help to study because he couldn’t understand this one topic. So he deflated, sighing as he let all the frustration in his limbs out and threw himself down on the bean bag that Beomgyu usually sat on—really slumping into it, throwing his feet up on Beomgyu’s tiny, messy coffee table, relishing in not having the younger around to tell him off for it.
He considered what to do now; in reality, he had finished his homework earlier and he had planned to just study with Beomgyu, maybe make him watch something on Netflix together, order takeout…it would all feel like a real date. He scrunched his nose up in annoyance, running both hands down his face as he sighed again, louder this time. Beomgyu would not mind if he took a nap in his bed—they’d done it before, and he was used to it, too, coming home and finding Soobin at his place already.
An idea started to form in his brain as he tapped one foot on the floor, anxious all of the sudden. He opened his phone to Gyu’s message and replied, asking if he would be back soon or if he should wait. And while Beomgyu took a good amount of time to reply, it just made Soobin more eager. He walked around his friend’s tiny place, there was no division between the living room and kitchen area—not even that much shelf space in the cramped kitchen area—but Soobin opened every single cabinet (from the four that are there), just taking things out and putting them back in.
There was an itch under his skin that he couldn’t quite scratch, but this—this was like throwing fresh water on a rash, to just touch things that are Beomgyu’s despite him not using them, just leaving his literal print on every single item in Beomgyu’s house. His phone screen came to life followed by the sound set for Gyu, he almost sprung from where he was standing to get to it.
He’d never been happier to hear that Beomgyu would be out of his sight for at least three hours.
‘ We’ll get something to eat after studying, so at least three, four hours?’
He beamed at the screen even when he bit down on the inside of his cheek, upset knowing that he wouldn’t be spending any time with Beomgyu today.
Once he read Beomgyu’s message and replied back with a quick ‘ okay have a good time ’, he went back to the shelves, putting all the things back in place. A place that was once disturbed all back in order, turning the bottle of pepper exactly to how he found it when he opened the shelf. He clapped and dusted his hands off on his jeans, smiling to himself—satisfied with his invasion so far—but what he was about to do next, it sent shivers down his spine.
He pushed the door to his friend’s room open, seeing the small mess it was—it made him frown only slightly. He knew Beomgyu was organized most of the time, but it seemed that right now he had just been too busy with finals to keep his room as tidy as he wished to; seeing laundry thrown near the basket he had in the corner, some landed in, some didn’t…it worked perfectly for him, though. He walked around the room he was familiar with already, maybe even more so than his own, never having paid attention to such things in his empty room, whereas Beomgyu’s had a few posters on the wall for movies he liked, and three boxes with figurines in them above the little wardrobe furniture he had.
He flopped down on Beomgyu’s bed, face against the sheets. He rubbed his face into them, into the pillow; it felt soft against him. He sniffed it—filled his lungs with the smell of Beomgyu—just him; a mix of his shampoo, his sweat, and just his natural scent, all there. It was like his personal drug, the closest thing to what the real person smelled like, like when he would dig his nose in his neck and just inhale his scent. Once he had his fill of that he rolled around in the tiny bed, splaying himself like a starfish, almost wanting to wave his arms and legs as if he were doing snow angels—he felt giddy with what he was about to do, happy, like a kid would be.
He sat up in the bed again, a minor flaw in his plan as he stared at the basket of laundry; just some five steps away from the bed—still five steps away, either way. He looked one way then the other—lady luck favored him that day it seemed. One of Beomgyu’s shirts laid forgotten on the edge of the mattress—he probably changed outfits a few times before deciding what to wear that day—because when he brought it to his nose the only scent he got was the fabric softener, but it will do. He had seen Beomgyu wearing this one, he knows he’ll wear it again. It’s…it’s perfect. Perfect.
He laid down in bed again, closing his eyes and holding the shirt in his fingers, feeling the soft fabric. He took one of the three pillows beneath him and hugged it to his chest, one end of it pressed against his nose. He sighed loudly, content. It wasn’t the real thing of course—it would never be the same as holding Beomgyu in his arms when they slept together—the constant game of making sure their lower bodies weren’t pressed together so Beomgyu wouldn’t feel how hard he got when they were so close together—but he’s not there now. And yet he is; this is the most private space he has—the place that keeps his scent and his personal belongings.
Soobin unbuttoned his jeans, barely shoving them down his thighs—the same thing with his briefs, just enough for his half-hard cock to spring out. The drag is slow and almost uncomfortable. Slowly spreading the precome down his length, he held the pillow closer to his face, taking a long deep breath and inhaling Beomgyu’s scent again, imagining how it would be to do this with Beomgyu next to him. If Beomgyu were the one touching him…he let out a breathy laugh at the thought. But he allowed his mind to dive into the fantasy as he closed his eyes and ran his thumb all the way down to the base of his cock. He turned his face to the side and brought the pillow closer with his free hand.
“Beomgyu-ssi,” he sighed quietly, just for himself to hear. The thought does it for him—more than anything else had—and as embarrassing as it was that he had imagined being with Beomgyu plenty of times (having crossed that line long ago) he had never been in his bed while doing so, somewhere so intimate and his, somewhere he could really imagine Beomgyu and not just recall a memory of what he looked like kneeling down.
“Hyung, it’s so big,” he imagined the boy would say, wrapping his hand around it. He wondered if Beomgyu did this often—play with himself, play with others—and wondered if he gave good head. Thought really hard about how it would feel to tangle his fingers in Beomgyu’s soft, silky hair as he pushed his plush lips down onto his cock; he’d let Beomgyu give kitten licks at it first.
“ I don't think I can fit all of it. ”
“Come on, baby, I know you can do it,” he said to no one in the room; for Beomgyu, his Beomgyu . He considered digging his fingers into Beomgyu’s hair, pushing his head down and forcing him to take Soobin’s cock inside his pretty mouth—feeling his hips jerking upwards as he moaned, thinking about how good it would feel. But it was still too dry, verging on the limit of ‘too uncomfortable to be the sexy type of uncomfortable’. He brought his mouth closer to his mouth and spat in it quickly, humming in contentment when he wrapped his hand around himself again. In no time he felt close to the edge, his orgasm just a few thrusts away; he kept his hand on the head of his cock, quickly jerking it up and down—wet, nasty sounds echoing in his ears with the quiet of his rushed breath as he thought about his friend and fucking his mouth, his hand, his anything.
He kept the pillow resting just over his face, quieting all his groans, and breathed in Beomgyu’s scent; his free hand felt blindly about the mattress until he found what he needed. He dragged Beomgyu’s shirt slowly, like someone who had all the time in the world available to them; he had half a mind to think about turning on the bed—to really fuck into Beomgyu’s shirt and then stain it with his cum—but it stayed just that, a thought. For the next time, he thought idly as he brought the piece of fabric towards his cock.
The contact against his sensitive skin made him hiss, but this time it was the uncomfortable feeling that was sexy; it turned something in his brain as he wrapped his hand around his cock again with the added layer of the shirt. It felt so rough, absorbing most of his precome in just a matter of seconds, leaving him dry humping his friend’s shirt.
This was his plan all along; he lazily met the movement of his hand with his hips, felt almost asphyxiated breathing in nothing but Beomgyu all around him, staining his shirt. He already felt a damp spot where he had his hand around the head of his cock; he pumped his hand faster, clenching his teeth from how good and painful it was. That’s how he came, hugging Beomgyu’s pillow to his face and making a mess of one of his shirts with the other.
He kept moving his hand up and down languidly, making sure to get every last drop of his cum onto the shirt. He smiled, panting hard into the pillow—realized there was nowhere near enough oxygen for him—but the lightheaded feel of it all added to it.
He took the pillow off his face first and his face was kissed with a wave of fresh air. He ran his clean hand through his hair and pushed it away from his face, feeling a gross coat of sweat, too, wiping his hand off in the sheets; just more things to add to the mess he had made so far. He took a good look at the scene first, removing the shirt off his now softening cock. This part he didn’t even plan for but he smiled, satisfied as he looked at the black shirt. The wet spot on it was barely visible when he actively tried looking for it. It was perfect, no one would notice—Beomgyu himself probably wouldn’t notice either if he threw it in the laundry basket; there’s something to it all, how it didn’t affect anyone, how no one would know unless he talked about it, how Beomgyu would never know about it because Soobin has seen how he does his laundry; he never unfolds things and doesn’t check the pockets of his jeans, either.
The shirt had been desecrated with his semen and it would stay like that, sitting in Beomgyu’s room, just steps away from the bed in which he laid and jerked himself off, on sweat-covered sheets that would stay there for a few weeks longer, too. It made him feel delirious to know he had left so many marks all over his friend’s room. And that Beomgyu wouldn’t even know about it…that was probably the best part of it, if he was being honest.
He threw the shirt to the side, not paying too much attention to where he was throwing it on the bed. He pulled his jeans up lazily and just laid on the bed, splayed out, basking in it all for a minute.
He could feel the rest of his cum starting to dry on his hand and that’s when he decided to get up from bed—to get up from Beomgyu’s bed—and made sure to throw the shirt in the laundry basket, even move other pieces of clothing so it was covered. He turned to the bed and did his best job to make it as tidy-untidy as it was before he climbed in it.
There was a hum of satisfaction that came from within his chest. Something that told him he should do this again soon. After that, he almost considered staying in his friend’s room, but ended up leaving—not before looking at the room one more time, though, with the careful eye an artist would a painting they just finished, this too, his masterpiece.
He couldn’t help but smile widely at Beomgyu when he saw him wearing the same shirt a few weeks later. Couldn’t help but wait for the next time he would be home alone