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“Xiao,” Aether murmurs, brushing Xiao’s hair out of his face. “Are you alright? You’re trembling a little.”
He’s been pulled over Aether’s lap, naked and straddling him from where Aether sits on the edge of the bed. Aether himself is half undressed, pants undone and armor removed. He cups Xiao’s face in one hand, and with the other holds Xiao’s arms folded behind his back, paused in the middle of winding a coil of rope around them.
“I’m fine,” Xiao says quietly.
“Color?” Aether asks.
Xiao carefully goes over the color system Aether had explained to him in his head, biting the inside of his lip. “Green.”
Aether still looks a little unconvinced, and gently strokes the side of Xiao’s face.
“Don’t push yourself,” He says. “We don't have to do anything you don't want to do.”
Xiao feels a sudden longing ache in his chest for reasons he can’t name.
“I want this,” He whispers. “I don't know why I…”
He pauses, trying to school his body’s reactions. He feels strangely tense, bracing for a brutal impact that wasn’t going to come. His instincts are a mangled split between wanting to flee, and aching at the thought of Aether touching him. It’s frustrating. Why couldn’t he be consistent?
It had been his idea to initiate this, after all. He thought it would help the strange warm and tangled feeling in his chest that surfaced whenever he was around the Traveler, the aching desire to do something more with him. This was certainly something more, a gesture of intimacy Xiao felt was appropriate for what he wanted with Aether, and yet…he could not help but hesitate, uncertainty chewing at his nerves. Perhaps this was a bad idea. It was not his place to ask so much of someone else, after all.
“…I am simply not familiar with this,” Xiao settles on, avoiding the Traveler’s eyes. “Forgive me for the trouble. I do not know why I asked this of you.”
“It’s okay,” Aether says immediately, ever so gently as he kisses Xiao’s forehead. “I’m more than happy to do this—I want you just as much.”
The words sink into Xiao, kind and almost too good to be true.
Xiao closes his eyes, struggling to process the feeling of being wanted that washes over him. It’s warm, and makes him want to bury himself against Aether and let him ruin him—but part of him also prickles at it, disbelieving and unsure. Yet, ultimately…he wants to trust Aether. He selfishly wants to believe Aether finds him as desirable as Xiao thinks of him. He takes a deep breath, shivering at the feeling of Aether watching him, intent and patient, for an answer.
“Bind me, then,” Xiao whispers.
Aether hums, and resumes tying the rope carefully around Xiao’s forearms, binding them snugly to his back. Xiao flexes, testing the bonds; they’re tight enough, but nothing special—he could break out of them easily, with a bit of intentional force.
The sensation of the ropes binding him make his heart pound. The better part of him thrums with tension—fears the loss of control and resulting vulnerability—but, at the same time, something shamefully soft deep within him shivers from being so vulnerable before the Traveler, trembling in eager anticipation as he lets Aether cup his fragile trust in his gentle hands. He doesn’t understand it.
“Is this okay?” Aether asks, giving one last tug to the rope’s knots.
“Yes,” Xiao’s voice is painfully small and raspy in his own ears.
“Do you want the blindfold or the collar next?” Aether’s voice is steady, grounding.
“The collar,” Xiao mutters. “Please.”
“Alright,” Aether hums, reaching for where it lies on the bed next to him. He holds it up in front of Xiao, and Xiao swallows, trying to hold still.
“I picked one out myself like you wanted,” Aether says, turning it in his hands. “Do you like it? I thought it suited you.”
The collar is a pleasant jade green with a golden buckle, patterned with faint swirls that remind Xiao of abstract wind. It’s simple, not overly extravagant in a way Xiao likes, and very much feels like something Aether put thought into selecting.
“It’s…nice,” Xiao says quietly, leaning forward so Aether has better access to his throat.
Aether hums, and gently slips the collar around Xiao’s neck, pulling it tight enough to make Xiao shiver, but loose enough to be snug and comfortable. Aether traces the collar idly with one of his fingers, his touch ghosting over Xiao’s skin.
A deep shudder runs through Xiao’s entire body as Aether pulls away, leaving the collar wrapped snugly around his neck. The ache between his legs throbs as he soaks up the feeling of being claimed— marked as Aether’s and Aether’s alone. Xiao, he finds, truly wants nothing more than to be his in that moment—engulfed in Aether’s presence, tenderly bound to his mercy and covered in marks of his ownership.
( It is a desire that should scare him, but Xiao only finds himself aching for it.)
“You’re doing so good,” Aether tells him, and Xiao, to his utter embarrassment, nearly whimpers in response, the praise sending a spark of arousal buzzing through him.
Aether reaches for the blindfold next, and lifts the cloth to Xiao’s face. Xiao swallows, going deathly still as it’s tied snugly around his head, covering his eyes. He inhales sharply as his vision is enveloped by a quiet darkness, and he can’t stop the nerves that grip his chest in response. He drowns in the awareness of his own vulnerability—so conscious of how exposed he is in that moment, with so many openings for the world to sink its teeth into him once more.
He feels Aether gently brush his fingers down his sides, and gasps, softly, arching his back. The sensation is heightened by his lack of vision, and Xiao bites his lip at how sensitive he feels, the light touch alone making him tremble.
“You look amazing like this, Xiao,” Aether murmurs in his ear. “Color?”
Xiao tries to speak, but what comes out is akin to a humiliating, weak whimper in his throat. He feels his face burn.
“G-green,” He whispers hoarsely, aimlessly. “I…I want…I need…“
“Take it slow,” Aether says encouragingly, stroking Xiao’s sides again. “We have time.”
Xiao takes a deep breath, the rawness of how exposed he is and the wet ache between his legs rolling through him in a blended agony so much more intimate than karma.
“…I,” Xiao mutters, his mind scattered and confused and alight with apprehension and arousal. His body cries for so many things, and yet... “…don’t know…what I want.”
“You know why you wanted me to tie you up like this,” Aether offers gently, endlessly patient. “You said you wanted to give me your trust. Maybe work off of that?”
Something soft blooms in Xiao’s chest at that, fragile and gentle and warm for Aether. He swallows, feeling the press of the collar snug against his throat. He suddenly wants so many things, then—complicated, embarrassing things he could never begin to articulate. Rather than attempt to, he finds himself hesitantly leaning forward until he's pressed against Aether’s warm, solid, inviting form. Xiao slumps against him, resting his head on Aether’s shoulder as he tries to steady his breathing.
“Put your arms around me,” Xiao mutters. He does not know how he manages to stomach such a request, fragile and weak as he is.
Aether does so without question, pulling Xiao close and stroking his hands down Xiao’s back in a way that makes him shiver. With difficulty, Xiao lets himself melt against Aether, trying to ease the tension out of his shoulders as he leans into the touch. Xiao’s sharpest instincts itch at the back of his brain, torn between an ingrained fear of such intimate physicality, and devastating desire to give himself entirely to Aether. He wants to flinch and dissipate away, and he wants…
wants…
“You’re doing great,” Aether murmurs to him, petting Xiao gently. “I know this isn’t something you’re used to, but you’re doing a very good job, Xiao. You’re perfect.”
Xiao feels a violent shudder wrack his body, and his own voice betrays him—a soft, desperate whine sounding deep in his throat. He can’t even stop the way his hips jerk against Aether’s lap, his cunt throbbing with smoldering arousal.
This—this is what he wants; he wants the feeling of Aether’s touch and arms wrapped around him, wants Aether’s approval, the sensation of pleasing him, of giving him everything he possibly can. He does not understand why he wants this, and cannot comprehend how he would ask for such a thing. It is too much, and almost…inappropriate, wrong to want so much of such a special person.
He hears Aether chuckle.
“Do you want me to touch you?” The Traveler asks, stroking two fingers down Xiao’s spine. “You look so desperate.”
Xiao swallows.
“ Yes,” He mutters softly, nearly shivering at the thought.
Aether’s arm leaves Xiao’s back, and is suddenly tracing down his front, sliding towards his groin. Xiao pulls away from his shoulder so Aether has more room to move, body thrumming in anticipation. He feels Aether brush his folds, a blunt and gentle touch, and suddenly…freezes against his will, inhaling sharply as an inexplicable, icy fear grips his chest. Xiao’s mind throws him somewhere ruthlessly frigid and dark, and his entire body burns with the sudden instinct to fight and flee in confusion.
He feels Aether pause.
“Color, Xiao?” He asks. The reorienting sound of his voice is like a sudden warm blanket wrapping around Xiao, and he feels the ice in him recede somewhat, everything sliding back into focus.
“I don't…know why I—“ Xiao hisses, sucking in a deep breath. He pauses, steadying himself. “…Green. Yes, green. I just thought of something unpleasant.”
“You’re with me,” Aether assures him, holding him gently. “We’re in my abode’s bedroom, the only other people nearby are Paimon sleeping on the other side of the house, and Tubby outside. We’re safe.”
Xiao swallows. The lingering coldness of him fades, and now he’s much more confused than alarmed. It had only been Aether touching him like he’d asked—Xiao does not know why he thought it would be something else.
“I know,” He says quietly. “…Thank you. I apologize for the complication.”
“It’s not a complication,” Aether says, pulling Xiao close. “It’s a matter of boundaries. And it’s certainly not a problem for me, Xiao, don’t worry about it. Would taking off the blindfold help? Seeing me might help you orient yourself.”
“No,” Xiao says in a rush. “I…want it on. And I want you to…touch me again.”
Aether pets him gently, as if checking Xiao over for any signs of discomfort or unease.
“Of course,” He replies after a moment, voice kind and warm. “Anything you want.”
His lips ghost gently across the sensitive part of Xiao’s neck, and Xiao gasps softly, shivering. Aether slips one finger under the collar, and uses it to tug Xiao towards him for better access to his throat. The movement makes him gasp, and Xiao can’t help the quiet moan that spills from him as his head rolls back, squirming as Aether holds him in place with the collar and sucks and nips at his sensitive neck.
“Maybe we should get you a leash next time,” Aether muses against Xiao’s throat, and his other hand slides down towards Xiao’s folds once more. “Would you like that, Xiao? You’re always coming and going, so stubborn about never staying around for too long. I could put a leash on you, and then you’d have no choice but to let me lead you around—anywhere I want.”
Xiao shudders and gasps, arching his back as Aether punctuates his words with a gentle brush to his throbbing cunt, just barely dipping a finger inside him.
“Aether,” Xiao says hoarsely, trying not to grind his hips like a desperate, deprived animal against Aether’s hand.
“You’re so wet,” Aether murmurs, nipping Xiao’s neck lightly with his teeth. Xiao’s breath hitches. “Practically dripping for it.”
He gently presses a finger into Xiao, sinking it into his tight, wet warmth. Xiao gasps at the sensation, his thighs quivering as Aether thrusts his finger in and out of him, slow and deep. Xiao clenches around the intrusion, his breathing heavy as he struggles to adjust to the sensation, face burning at the intimacy of being touched like this.
It isn’t long before Aether slips in a second finger alongside the first one, pressing deep into Xiao. Xiao moans at the stretch, trembling, ducking his head and feeling the press of the collar against his throat as he swallows. He pants as Aether starts to scissor him, fingers stretching him out and brushing against his walls as they thrust in and out of him.
He doesn’t know how long he sits there as Aether fucks him with his fingers, lost in a sweet haze of pleasure as he’s worked over. At some point, Aether brushes a spot in him that makes Xiao keen pathetically, a sharp bolt of pleasure shooting up his spine. Aether repeats the motion, drowning Xiao in the sharp spikes of pleasure until he’s shaking.
He barely registers the feeling of Aether leaning towards him until his breath, hot and ragged with desire, brushes against Xiao’s ear.
“Let’s get you on the bed,” Aether murmurs, voice husky and low. “I think I’ll go a little crazy if I don’t fuck you right now.”
He withdraws his fingers from Xiao, and Xiao feels himself exhale softly at the loss, dipping his head. He expects to feel Aether pushing him down against the mattress, but instead he feels Aether’s fingers, slick from fucking him, press against his lips.
“Clean me up first,” Aether says.
Xiao lets out a soft, broken noise, but obeys without hesitation, taking Aether’s fingers onto his mouth and curling his tongue around them. He burns with sweet humiliation at the taste of his own slick, lapping and sucking gently at Aether’s fingers until they’re clean. Aether pulls them out of his mouth, brushing Xiao’s cheek with his thumb.
“Good boy,” Aether murmurs, and Xiao can’t stop himself from whimpering softly in response, his cunt throbbing from the praise.
He feels Aether push him gently onto the bed, and Xiao lets him rearrange him however he pleases with no resistance. He lays Xiao down on his belly, face pressed into a pillow as Aether pulls his hips up, putting Xiao on his knees with his ass in the air.
Xiao trembles at how compromising the position is, uselessly flexing his bound arms. It should terrify him, but arousal burns low and hungry deep in his gut, and Xiao lets it pour through him, ignoring the twinge of anxiety at his own vulnerability. This is just what he wanted, after all. There was something calming and exhilarating about being completely at Aether’s mercy, bound and collared, unable to do anything more than place his complete and utter trust in him.
He thinks he hears Aether shucking off his pants and uncapping the jar of lubricant they’d left on the bed, slicking his cock with it. The bed dips a little more as Aether leans over him, and his cock teasingly brushing against Xiao’s hole.
“Look at you,” He hears Aether say softly, brushing Xiao’s flank. “So eager for me.”
Xiao has just enough time to desperately think, Don’t make me beg for it, before Aether is gently pressing himself into Xiao, thicker and more filling than his fingers in every conceivable way. Xiao gasps, his back arching, unable to do anything but lay there and take it. He tries not to moan as Aether sinks into him with slick ease, so deep it makes Xiao’s eyes roll back in his head. He pants at the perfect stretch, his thighs shaking, and swallows a whine when he finally feels Aether bottom out, his breath ragged from how full and stretched out he is.
He hears Aether groan, gripping Xiao’s hips to pull him even further onto his cock. He gives Xiao a merciful moment to adjust, petting him gently as Xiao tries to steady his breathing.
“Xiao,” He pants. “Color?”
“Green,” Xiao answers immediately. Very very green.
“Good,” Aether hums in approval, and slowly drags his cock out of Xiao, each scrape against his walls making Xiao bite back small gasps and whines. Then, he thrusts back into him, slamming against the sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside Xiao.
Xiao lets out a soft noise, one that makes him burn with embarrassment as Aether starts to fuck him, driving into Xiao with deep, steady thrusts. There’s a certain soft attentiveness to it that makes Xiao’s heart ache—he does not want to, nor need to be coddled, but something about the way Aether is careful to be gentle with him, adjusting his thrusts to just what Xiao needs based off the slightest of his reactions, makes Xiao stir with a whirlwind of emotion. He cannot describe it.
“Xiao,” Aether pants, tightening his grip on Xiao’s hips as he grinds into him. “You feel so good. You’re so tight, and you take me so well. Like you were made for this.”
Xiao shudders, and is rocked by a particularly deep thrust, unable to stop himself from moaning at how good it feels. He melts into the mattress, limp and pliant as Aether fucks into him, relishing in the feeling of being used so sweetly.
“Such a good boy,” Aether purrs, and a second later, Xiao feels Aether drape himself over him, wrapping one arm around his waist, his breath hot in Xiao’s ear.
“I can feel you clench around me everytime I praise you, you know,” Aether murmurs in his ear, rolling his hips as he continues to fuck into Xiao. He hooks a finger under the collar again, tugging Xiao’s head up as the adeptus whimpers softly. “Do you like that? Want me to tell you how good you are while I fuck you, Xiao?”
“I-I—“ Xiao gasps, the tug of his collar making him keen. “I don’t—“
Another moan is forced out of him as Aether grinds against his sweet spot, his breath hot and ragged in Xiao’s ear. The smoldering arousal in Xiao boils and builds, ignited and hungry as Aether fucks him, making Xiao shake with want.
“I should have you like this more often,” Aether hums, nipping Xiao’s neck. “You’d love that, wouldn't you? Tied up and pinned down just so you can be good for a little while.”
Xiao whines, desperate.
As if sensing his building orgasm, Aether uses the hand holding Xiao’s waist to press two fingers to Xiao’s clit. Xiao clenches his jaw as he struggles not to cry out, tramping down a needy whimper.
“I think that’s just what you deserve,” Aether continues warmly, punctuating his words with a harsh thrust. “You work so hard—and you can be so kind and sweet when you let yourself be. I think you’ve more than earned a break and reward every once in a while.”
“ Traveler,” Xiao chokes around a mangled gasp, panting as Aether works him over with his cock and fingers. It’s nonsensical for him to be seen as this… deserving when he is…nothing of the sort, but he selfishly soaks it up, whining as he’s driven closer and closer to that devastating peak. “I-I will n-never—hnn, understand you.”
“That’s okay,” Aether says, rolling Xiao’s clit between his fingers in gentle, indulgent little circles. He fucks into Xiao at a slightly deeper angle, and Xiao writhes in his binds, panting desperately. “Just know I love you anyways.”
Xiao cannot bring himself to vocally reciprocate no matter how much he may want to, overwhelmed and crushed by such sincere affection he cannot fathom truly being for him.
“ I’m close— “ He gasps, his jaw slack as he inches closer towards that sweet edge, the sensation building deep within him until it’s all consuming and overwhelming. “I—“
“Come for me, then,” Aether says, pressing a little more insistently on Xiao’s clit. “You’ve been so good.”
Xiao convulses in his binds, jerking his head back as he lets out a sharp gasp, the crash of his orgasm slamming into him with such a force he nearly sees stars behind his blindfold. Aether fucks him through it gently, stroking Xiao as he trembles beneath him while sharp, electrifying pleasure fries every nerve he has.
He feels Aether shudder, then press himself as deep into Xiao as he can, coming with a gasp. Xiao lets out a soft groan as he’s filled with a rush of warm seed, dazed as he’s filled so completely, feeling perfectly used and claimed. He lays there for a moment, panting and dazed. Aether pulls out of him just as Xiao’s mind begins to resettle itself, and he shivers at the feeling of Aether’s come dripping down his thighs.
He feels Aether settle himself back on the bed behind Xiao with a low sigh, leaving him empty and bare.
“That,” Aether pants after a moment, out of breath. “Was perfect.”
Xiao doesn’t think he can respond, still trembling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. He grunts softly instead, and melts against the bed the best he can in his position, his chest heaving. He feels Aether stroke his sides, and for a moment they sit there, catching their breath. Xiao relishes in the feeling, enjoying the pleasant, satisfied tiredness rolling through him.
It isn’t long before the afterglow of his orgasm dies down, and Xiao feels the quelled arousal stir in his belly once again, less pent up, but still present, buzzing through his veins.
Xiao swallows.
“…Let’s go again,” Xiao says after a long moment, his voice soft and ragged in his own ears. “If…if you want to, that is.”
Aether chuckles. “Already?”
Xiao flushes, and is about to emphasize the only if you want to part again when Aether grips his hips, stroking Xiao’s skin with his thumbs.
“I’m up for that,” Aether says, and Xiao whines as Aether traces his folds with a gentle finger, almost certainly watching the come dripping out of him with apt fascination. “If you want another round after that, I’ll eat you out, too.”
Xiao shivers.
“Anything you want,” He whispers.
Aether makes Xiao come two more times on his cock, expertly torturing Xiao’s clit and tugging on his collar and drowning him in praise until Xiao nearly loses himself, reduced to a gasping, keening mess he’s too deep under to be embarrased by. After Aether pulls out for the final time, Xiao’s cunt dripping with the loads he’s fucked into him, he flips Xiao over, prompting him up against a few pillows before burying his face between Xiao’s legs, pressing his tongue between his folds.
Xiao lays there, gasping softly as Aether keeps his thighs pulled apart, sucking at Xiao’s clit and fucking him on his fingers and tongue until Xiao is trembling from overstimulation. He fucks his come out of Xiao, and Xiao barely cares it’s likely only making an even bigger mess of him, straining his bound arms with a desperate desire to grab Aether’s head and grind his hips against his face.
Another orgasm builds within him, warm and much more like the rush of a flowing river than sharp and intense electricity. Xiao pants as he’s worked over, rolling his hips as Aether sucks and laps at his clit, three of his fingers fucking into his loose cunt. He whimpers as heat coils tightly in his belly, dragging him towards that sweet, sharp edge despite the exhaustion building around the edges of his mind.
Xiao gasps when it crashes into him, his thighs shaking as Aether flicks his tongue over his clit, sweet pleasure flooding through him and draining him of everything he is. He feels slick gush down Aether’s face and clenches his jaw, overwhelmed and shaking.
He feels Aether pull off of him, withdrawing his fingers slowly with a hum of approval. He hovers between Xiao’s legs, petting him gently.
“Good job, Xiao,” He murmurs softly, kissing the inside of Xiao’s thigh. “You were so perfect.”
Xiao shivers, then exhales softly, sinking back against the pillows as his exhaustion weighs him down. He feels Aether reach up to undo his blindfold, and reluctantly lets him untie it, blinking as the fabric slips off his head.
He’s greeted with Aether smiling warmly at him. He reaches up to undo Xiao’s collar next, and Xiao, on instinct, pulls away.
“Wait,” He says, and almost immediately regrets it, embarrassment prickling along his skin. “Leave…the collar on.”
Aether pauses.
“Oh,” He says, blinking. He smiles at Xiao again, with such fondness Xiao feels his heart inexplicably stutter in his chest. “You like it that much?”
Xiao feels his face flush. He can’t help but flick his gaze away from Aether, avoiding his eyes.
“It’s…nice.” He admits quietly. “I like that it’s a gift from you.”
“Well, I’m glad you like it. It looks good on you,” Aether replies warmly, pressing a kiss to Xiao’s forehead. He reaches back and tugs at the ropes binding Xiao’s arms. “Sit back. I’ll get you out of these and clean us up.”
Xiao dozes.
He’s vaguely aware of Aether wiping him down, getting rid of the stickiness between his thighs. He flexes his now unbound arms, torn between relief at being able to move them again, and an odd, faint fantasy of imagining them still bound, continuing to be at Aether’s mercy while he tended to him.
He feels Aether sink back down onto the bed next to Xiao, and Xiao shifts as he feels Aether wrap himself around him, spooning him from where Xiao lays loosely on his side. Aether pulls Xiao gently to his chest, tucking his face into Xiao’s shoulder. The gesture makes Xiao feel…small, coddled, in a way that is perhaps unnecessary, but…pleasant all the same.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Aether asks, kissing his shoulder.
Xiao bites his lip.
“…Yes.” He replies, voice quiet. “Thank you for…indulging me.”
He feels painfully vulnerable in an entirely new way as he says it, oddly flustered and embarrassed. About what, he’s not sure. He is…pleased to have gotten what he wanted, and thanking Aether for it was the polite thing to do, after all.
“Of course,” Aether murmurs, and Xiao shivers as Aether gives his collar a gentle tug. “I like seeing you happy.”
Xiao pauses.
…Is he happy? He wonders, considering this. He feels…comfortably exhausted, sated, even. There’s a certain rawness underlying everything—Xiao feels he had just bared his soul to the world, leaving all of his insecurities and vulnerabilities on full display to be torn to shreds.
Only for the tearing and violence to never come, leaving him in tact and broken open and completed in more ways than one.
It was akin to stumbling on the edge of a jagged cliff, thinking for a moment you would fall before recovering—Xiao feels…okay, still reeling in the aftershocks of feeling so certain something would go wrong. Relieved, perhaps.
Xiao does not think he is capable of being truly happy, anymore—his ability for such carved out of him long ago. Which was alright, for he did not need it, and could do fine without it. But he supposes he is…something adjacent to content, in this moment; he hesitantly lets himself enjoy the feeling of Aether tucked against him, and quietly relishes in the fact this experience had been…pleasant, much more so than he had been expecting.
Xiao rolls over so he can face Aether, and Aether moves to adjust as well, smiling as Xiao’s face comes into his view. He yawns, then presses a kiss to Xiao’s forehead, tucking his face into Xiao’s hair as he settles down to sleep.
Xiao’s eyes are unusually heavy as exhaustion weighs on him, too. He leans into Aether, burrowing his face into his chest, and sighs, apprehensively letting the sensation of being…something Aether seemed to care for and want wash over him.
He closes his eyes and lets himself drift, feeling safe enough to rest than he has in a very long time.