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When we first met, I was throwin' squirrels at Rick and cussin' him for leavin' Merle in Atlanta. But that was a long time ago. Now, we're married. A stupid apocalypse kind of married, but it's good and I like it.
He asked me on watch. The same place he kissed me first and it seems like so long ago that we was up there that first time, me not knowin' anything 'bout love and stuff. And Rick showin' me everything.
I was angry up there the night he asked me. Had an old-school Dixon sulk brewing from some missed meals and a misunderstood kiss. Was still Dixon at that point so that's why all the misunderstandings and insecurities.
Was wondering when he was gonna do it. Dump me, I mean, cause I was convinced. Not a lot of other options in the apocalypse but we have a small community now. He coulda fell for someone else. Someone not as moody or who showered more or who used forks and shit. Frankly that would have been better than dumping me for no one. Like he's just plain sick a' me and would rather sleep alone and have no one ta kiss and never have sex again rather than stay with me.
When I heard him climbing up the ladder I thought the watch tower would be a nice private place to let someone down easy. It would give me some time and privacy ta cry. Least that was thoughtful.
But he didn't dump me. He gave me a present. An old arrowhead he found and engraved with DG. Had butterflies stagin' a coup in my belly at the possibility, ready to take flight but waiting on the green light to flap their wings.
I asked what it stood for and he confirmed -Daryl Grimes. God that sounded peaceful. Perfect for me. Cause it was Rick's and we could share it. And cause it suits me, Grimes. Like dirt and grime!
I still kept my 'ttention on my gift. Needed a moment to myself ta think about how crazy the world is with dead walkin' and Dixon's marryin'. Shit, I don't know which one's more shockin'
He babbled on, "Need you to know how committed I am. You probably think it's silly, stupid. I know it's stupid. But you're not really a Dixon anymore anyway. Never were. You were never the person you think of when you hear the name Dixon. I want you to have my name. With me. And with our kids. Ours."
He was so nervous. Like it was a real proposal. Then I think about it and to him it is. So to me it is. And of course I'm gonna say yes because I always want to give Rick what he wants. And Rick wants ME!
I said yes and we shared a butterscotch Krimpet and then we laid there and laughed like kids till tha whole prison came out and Rick told everyone 'bout it, like it was the best news ever.
......
Bein' married to Rick means forever. It's way more serious than a "thing". It means that we make decisions together, eat together (unless there's a damn good reason one of us can't.). It means that I never have to be insecure again about Rick's love for me.
Rick said if the marriage don't work ta convince me he's mine, he'd get "property of Daryl" tatoo'd above his junk. I think I'll just let the marriage thing work. Don't want him messing up his sexy abs.
I feel like a different person now that I'm Daryl Grimes. I'm... Happy. I'm also less selfish which is a thing I found out about myself with Carol.
After I got to be Mr. Daryl Grimes, I was at the wash basin with Carol doing our sheets. (She likes to help us with laundry, but I ain't given 'er our stuff that's covered in cum.
We's talking like we always do 'bout life and stuff. She told me she can see that I'm a new man other than still punchin' Axel.
"He called Rick 'the Missus '," I explained, defending myself.
"He didn't call YOU the missus." Carol said as she scrubbed on some a' Judy's diapers.
I shrugged. "Had ta defend my man." I said.
"Poor guy is covered in bruises from you Daryl GRIMES." She emphasized the last name cause I like that.
"He ain't. Didn't hit 'im that damn hard." I mutter.
"Yes you did, young man."
That's when I stopped in the middle a scrubbing.
"You saw him bruised?"
"Yah. So quit it," she says grinning.
"Punched him in his shoulder, not his face. Never seen him wear sleeveless. How you seein' this mystery bruise Carol Peletier?" I ask, realization finally hitting me.
"He told me," she said, knowing she was lying and knowing I knew she was lying.
I burst into a giant smile. "CAROL!! You been getting a much closer look at Axel's shoulders than the rest of us... How exactly is that happening?"
She shrugged. "Been doing stuff." She smiled.
I hate myself for a minute for not noticing Carol had something going on lately, but now that I'm Daryl Grimes, it ain't gonna happen again so I don't fret over it none.
We both grinned stupidly at eachother. Two of us have both kinda made better lives for ourselves since the apocalypse compared to what we had before.
As I finished the sheets I said, "make sure he knows that if he hurts you, he's getting hit. Real hit. Not play."
She smiles and nods. "Don't think it will be an issue, pookie. He's not like that."
"Better not be," I mutter and I kissed her on the forehead.
Speaking of forehead kisses, Rick kisses me on the forehead now all the damn time just to be an ass. But I don't mind, cause it's usually followed up with nice kisses, tongues and lips. And then more often than not turns into sex. Which I definitely don't mind!
We try to go by a made up calendar at the prison and Rick and I decided that every 7th day is family day and neither one of us got to do no chores.
That day's just for us and the kids. Sometime we have a picnic out by the garden. Sometime we play catch with some old mitts and a baseball we found. Rick and I swap out who's playin' with Carl and who's holdin' baby Judy. Sometimes we play this stupid game called monopoly that I always loose and Carl always wins.
Sometimes I still get insecure and nervous about things, but I know if that happens I only gotta wait til I climb into bed with Rick that night and he will always make everything better for me. Whether it's with words or kisses or hugs or sex or just laying together while he runs his fingers in my hair like I like.
And being married means that I can do the same for him. If he's stressed out, he comes to me at night needin' my arms 'round 'im for comfort and I always make him feel better. I'm really good at being Daryl Grimes.