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If there's something Lilac had learned early in his life, even earlier than killing, it was that letting out his emotions was a sign of weakness. People are rarely able to truly judge you if they don't know you. You could be frail but deadly. You could be incredibly muscular but terrified of everything. And that , it itself, didn't matter. But showing off how you felt to others often meant that you could not contain your own emotions. Getting angry showed that you were perfectly unable to keep your calm and therefore could be easily manipulated. Getting scared showed that no matter how powerful you were, the enemy had always a way to destabilize you. And crying ? Crying was most likely the worst. It was pure weakness.
That day, Lilac had been hurt. It just happened sometimes. As a bodyguard, the man had gotten used to wounds. They hurt, but he could just ignore the pain and fear they provided him. However, it always seemed like his protégé, Yogurt, couldn't get his eyes off of them. He was the one supposed to be protected, pampered by all, but here he was, carefully healing the wounds of his friend with bandages and all sorts of medication.
"Are you okay ?"
"... Yes."
"Hey, you don't need to lie. Look at you."
"...
"Y'know ... You're a bodyguard, but that doesn't mean you should just take everything like a punching ball. If you can't say it to me, that's fine. But I don't think I've ever seen you cry, even once. And thinking about all of the times you got really hurt, it's really surprising."
"It's my job. I'm meant to take hits for you in exchange of you offering me a comfortable life."
"You're meant to protect me. That is all. But you don't need to hide your pain from me. I don't think that was ever required in our contract. I'm not just your employer or some kind of higher being you need to put over yourself, Lilac. I'm your friend. Or at least, I'm trying to be. If you're hurt, I want to know about it so that I can make things better. It doesn't mean you have to complain every time something bad happens. But once in a while, letting it all out feels great."
"I can't."
"Is there anything stopping you from doing so ? Do you fear me judging you ?"
Perhaps that would've been the easiest thing to admit. Yes, I don't want you to judge me, moving on. It could've been a valid reason. But that wasn't the case and Lilac wanted to tell the truth, to be honest with the one he loved.
"I don't know how."
"What do you mean you don't know how ?"
"I mean that I forgot how to."
"Wha- ... How do you even forget about that ?! It's something everyone does !!"
"Not me. I've learned not to. And now ... I just don't know how to unlock it. It's really strange. I just remember the feeling of tears from a long, long time ago but ... That's it. Nothing else."
Yogurt sighed as he put down his hand over his friend's shoulder.
"I'm guessing it'll take time for you to go back to normal. But ... I'm here for you. I don't know how much help I can provide nor how much comfort I will be able to give you but know that if you ever feel the need to shed a tear, I'll be by your side to help you with it."
"... Thank you. I truly appreciate that. But you don't need to."
"Maybe I don't need to. But I want to. Because that's what you deserve. Showing your weaknesses is a way for you to ask for help."
"But maybe I don't need help. I don't think I ever did."
Yogurt let go of his friend and shook his head with a smile.
"You know, baby animals all have skills they need to survive in the wild when they're born. A baby fawn knows how to stand up and flee. A young snake knows how to hiss and bite. But do you know what we do when we're born ?"
"... I don't think I do. Babies don't do much. For all I know, they just scream all the time."
"Yes. They do. Because their one survival skill is to ask for help from others. They cry because they want their mother's attention."
"I'll admit, never thought of it that way. But maybe I've grown up and I don't need that anymore. I don't think I need comfort."
"So would you refuse a hug from me right now ?"
The bodyguard stayed silent. His friend smiled. And as he felt his arms reaching out for the warmth of this body that had stayed with him for so long, he couldn't help but feel like he didn't just want something. He needed it. And when their bodies met, Lilac felt his heartbeats getting slower and slower and a few tears were slowly dripped down his chin
Weakness had never felt so good.