Work Text:
"I'm home," Yukimura said into the silence when he closed the door behind him. He knew it was useless, some would call it stupid, even, but he stubbornly continued his greeting to the house even when there was no one to hear it but the walls. Shinonome came home at odd hours, sometimes well after Yukimura went to sleep, so he had stopped waiting for the baka a long time ago, unless he said he would be home.
Still sweaty and bone-tired from karate practice—especially because of a handful of new students who required more of his attention than usually—he was yearning for a shower. He was also yearning for one of Shinonome's incredibly skilled backrubs, but hell would freeze over before he admitted that.
Shinonome used to tease him for preferring to shower at home, and Yukimura was too proud to explain to him how much better it felt to be in the privacy of your own bathroom, alone, and not having to worry about people watching you. A problem Shinonome should have understood because he knew full well how Yukimura tended to attract perverts.
Stepping into the shower and letting the warm water sluice down his body, he smiled a little to himself and was really grateful Shinonome wasn't home yet. He surely would have forced himself into the shower with him, and smiling alone was embarrassing enough, especially when Shinonome saw, but smiling because he remembered how Shinonome had stopped teasing him the moment he had realized it was an opportunity for shower sex was even worse.
He felt his blood rushing south and the smile vanished with a splash of water. Yukimura was an adult now and should be past feeling embarrassed about getting a little excited. Actually, he was past being embarrassed about wanting it too, despite having kept a habit of playing tsundere because it never failed to turn Shinonome on. What was unnerving him about this spike of lust was the fact that he hadn't felt it while being alone for a very long time now, which was all thanks to Shinonome, who made sure Yukimura was always well sated, that conniving bastard.
Yukimura frowned at the tiles in front of him. The last time they'd had sex was four days ago, five including today. His frown deepened. Shinonome had dropped something vague about having to work a little harder this week. But he'd had busier weeks in the past, and that had never stopped him from waking Yukimura in the middle of the night to get some.
He suddenly realized that his hand had wandered down to his thighs. This wasn't really the time for that when he wanted to keep thinking serious thought, but his libido was working against him, inaudibly ordering his hand to cup his balls and start fondling them. His forehead bumped against the tiles, the water still running down his body as he shivered at the sensation. He imagined Shinonome doing it, pressing his broad chest against his back, pushing his hard cock into the crease between his cheeks. He involuntarily let out a deep moan at the mental picture—a memory now, not merely a fantasy, and he hadn't known before that it would make this huge of a difference.
He reached behind him with his other hand, rubbing at his perineum and over his hole, wishing the warm water could create the illusion of Shinonome's skin against his, but it just wasn't enough. It would probably never feel as good as the real thing, he conceded, even while he pushed a finger inside. The angle was weird and kind of uncomfortable for his arm, but the pleasure he felt at the fondling of his balls and his finger—something—inside him kept him going. He turned his head and pushed his cheek against the still cold tile when he closed a fist around his dick, giving it quick, hard strokes, his quiet moans drowned by the water. Between his finger swiveling inside him and his hand pumping ever faster, he soon brought himself to orgasm.
For a few breathless moments he watched his come being washed down the white tiles until it disappeared, refusing to feel the shame that wanted to take over. It was only after he finished his shower, dried himself and dressed that he allowed himself to flush furiously at what he had just done. It annoyed him more than words could express that he still reacted like a virginal teenager.
His mobile ringing brought him back only to flush even brighter when he immediately recognized Shinonome's ringtone. He picked it up nonetheless, trying to keep his embarrassment under wraps.
"Hi, darling," Shinonome cooed into his ear, and Yukimura barely repressed a shiver at the endearment.
"Stop calling me that, it's embarrassing," he replied, clearing his throat when it came out all raspy. He hoped Shinonome wouldn't pick up on it. The bastard was observant enough as it was, and Yukimura would surely die of embarrassment if he ever found out what he had done in the shower.
Shinonome chuckled before answering. "You know you like it. What were you doing? You sound like you've been sleeping. Didn't you come home just half an hour ago?"
"Nothing, and yes." Sometimes Yukimura cursed himself for not being able to come up with better replies. His brain must still be a little befuddled.
"Aww, you sound like those newbies tired you out."
"They did," Yukimura leapt at the cop-out. He was nothing but opportunistic if it would spare him the humiliation. "How is work?"
"It's okay, though two of the models don't really like each other. It's draining to get them to cooperate sometimes, they keep bitching at each other and it translates into the pictures. About that... I probably won't be home tonight."
Yukimura froze. Before, in the shower, he had realized that Shinonome had made himself sparse lately, but he had kind of talked himself into believing it was his imagination. Shinonome wouldn't possibly try and avoid him, would he? It must be his imagination. It had to be. But... what if it wasn't?
"Hey, Yuki-chan? I'm sorry, I'd love to come back to my honey, really, but there's so much work to be done and those models don't exactly help in that matter."
"... okay," Yukimura finally replied in a small voice, and in the next moment wished he had spoken louder, clearer, because it was embarrassing and humiliating as hell and he suddenly felt so small and vulnerable.
"Yuki-chan?" Shinonome asked. He sounded soft, soothing, as if he knew exactly what was going on inside Yukimura when he didn't even know himself.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." It was spoken softly, lovingly, and something tugged at the corner of Yukimura's mouth and he couldn't suppress the small smile that appeared along with his heart skipping a beat. How Shinonome always knew exactly what Yukimura needed was still a mystery to him, but he wouldn't trade it for the world.
"Yeah," Yukimura said, mimicking Shinonome's tone. It must have worked, because he could practically feel the smile on Shinonome when he bid him goodnight.
It'd all work out, Yukimura was sure.
***
Yukimura felt a weird, cold sensation around his finger and tried to move his hand under the pillow, but something held it steady and didn't let him. Before he woke up enough to find out what was happening, though, the cold sensation was gone and fingers were laced with his, a warm touch palm to palm. He was about to drift off to sleep again when the hand extricated itself and the mattress dipped a little before Shinonome's soft lips pressed a lingering kiss to his temple.
Yukimura opened his eyes, trying to blink away the sleep quickly but failing. He still saw how Shinonome swung his legs off their bed, ready to get up, and a brief, squint-eyed glance at the digital clock on the bedside table on Shinonome's side told him it was 5:30. Way too fucking early to get up, even for Shinonome.
"Where are you going?" Yukimura tried to ask, but what tumbled out of his mouth sounded more like "Wherygon?". He pushed himself up on his elbow and watched Shinonome turn to him with a smile.
"Look who woke up," he said, crawling towards Yukimura until his face was only a breath away. Shinonome being so near calmed Yukimura more than it should, much more than he ever thought it would. There was a reassuring sort of intimacy when Shinonome did that, got so close, and it almost distracted Yukimura enough to fall back asleep. Almost.
"Work is crazy these days, but I promise you it'll go back to normal soon," Shinonome said quietly, as if afraid to disturb the silence. He looked right into Yukimura's eyes, not wavering, smile still on his face, and Yukimura wondered how Shinonome learned to lie so well. It almost convinced him. But he just couldn't squelch the feeling that something was off. It didn't seem to faze Shinonome, though. Because this was the third day in a row where Shinonome just disappeared in the wee hours of the morning and only came back home long past midnight. Yukimura didn't want to admit it, but he missed him. He missed him so much it hurt sometimes, and he just didn't know what to do with his heart when it clenched painfully in his chest. He also had no idea what to do with this sudden and overwhelming fear that sometimes overcame him, leaving him dizzy and trying to suck in deep gulps of air and still feeling like he couldn't breathe, no matter what he did.
Shinonome must have seen something of that feeling of dread on his face, because he bridged the last bit of distance and kissed him. Firmly and steadying, a reassuring pressure against his lips and a tongue almost tenderly licking over them. Shinonome cupped Yukimura's face with his hands, brushing his thumbs lightly over the skin right under his eyes, and Yukimura felt so hot, like there was suddenly not enough air in the room.
The kiss ended much too quickly, but Shinonome's lips brushed the shell of his ear, his breath sending shivers down his spine.
"I love you," he whispered and it went straight to Yukimura's heart.
Yukimura knew he was trying to distract him. That this was meant to make him believe everything was all right. But even he wasn't a big enough idiot not to see the genuine feelings behind Shinonome's actions. He did love Yukimura. It wasn't a lie.
But the fact that there was something Shinonome wasn't telling him had already nested in Yukimura's mind, and wouldn't leave, no matter how reassuring Shinonome's actions and words were.
***
It was Saturday and Yukimura sat on their couch, arms crossed and blankly staring at their flat screen, not registering what was even running. He couldn't care less. Ever since Shinonome had called and told him he'd be early tonight, Yukimura had been sitting there, trying to lay out the right words to confront Shinonome with. He'd had enough of his avoidance game, of the secrecy going on. He didn't like it. Not one bit. And he wouldn't let it go on any longer. If Shinonome wanted to be with him, he'd have to be honest with him. He was aware of the hypocrisy, what with Shinonome always having to beat the truth out of Yukimura—metaphorically. But that was how their relationship worked. Shinonome had to be honest for them to work. And Yukimura was scared witless because the balance had been disturbed. He felt it right down to the core.
An ear-splitting ringing cut through his thoughts and he almost jumped off the couch. It probably hadn't been that loud, but it had come so unexpected that for a few endless seconds, Yukimura simply stared at the door, unblinking. Then he rushed towards it and opened it to a grinning Shinonome, packed with his bags of photography equipment and a bag from the grocery store.
"I'm home, honey, won't you give me a welcome home kiss?"
Yukimura huffed, but quickly took two bags from him, ignoring his pout, and helped Shinonome get everything stored in the studio room before letting Shinonome follow him to the kitchen like a puppy.
"Why'd you buy groceries? We have food," he asked as he put the bag on the kitchen table and something clinked. He reached inside and pulled out a bottle of red wine, staring at it dumbly.
"Well, I thought we could make dinner together, to make up for all the time I couldn't be here lately," Shinonome explained, scratching the back of his neck. It sent all sorts of warm feelings all through Yukimura's body, despite his earlier resolve to force Shinonome to come clean. Maybe Shinonome would tell him over dinner. Maybe everything was fine after all. Maybe Yukimura had imagined it after all. The way Shinonome had stashed away his photography equipment had meant he'd be at home for a few days, not going anywhere. Maybe Yukimura was just paranoid and should stop being stupid.
"Okay," he finally said, putting the wine in the refrigerator to take it out later. Just when he had closed the fridge door, Shinonome's arms came around him and pulled him into a tight hug, big hands splayed open, one over his chest right above the heart, the other over his stomach. Shinonome's face came to rest in the crook of his neck and he sighed contentedly, just holding Yukimura close. Normally, Yukimura would wriggle out of it and make his boyfriend work a little for more, but he couldn't deny, at least to himself, that he had craved Shinonome's physical affection every day for the past week. He was allowed to be weak once in a while. So he stayed still, just breathing and enjoying the warmth Shinonome exuded, feeling at home again.
After a while, Shinonome planted an open-mouthed kiss right at the sensitive spot under Yukimura's ear, almost enticing a moan, before loosening his hold and turning Yukimura in his arms. "I've missed you," Shinonome whispered against his lips before claiming them. The kiss was light and sweet and did amazing things to Yukimura's heart, but then Shinonome moved back and let go.
"Up 'n at it, sunshine," he said, grinning, and pulled out the stuff he had bought. Apparently, Shinonome thought the occasion called for salmon. It made Yukimura suspicious again, because really? Wine and salmon? Wasn't that a little too... special? Wasn't that what normal couples did to celebrate their anniversary or shit like that?
He looked at the ingredients and decided to start with the rice and broccoli, since Shinonome had already grabbed the salmon itself, and the soy sauce. It was a recipe he actually knew—probably the only one he knew with salmon—because his mother had once taught him. He had told Shinonome long ago and was now dumbstruck at the fact that he had remembered. A throw-away line like that. It made him feel guilty and ashamed for doubting Shinonome.
When he had set the rice to boil on the stove Shinonome attached himself to him again, sliding his hands around his stomach again and resting his chin on Yukimura's shoulder. As if Shinonome was the one who had suffered from his lack of presence and now had to make up for it by feeling him up every few minutes. When his hands started to wander downward and the fingers of his right hand dipped into his pants, Yukimura quickly grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
"Not before dinner, you perv!"
It only made Shinonome chuckle, squeeze him tightly once, and then let go to watch over the salmon. The domesticity of it all would kill Yukimura if he hadn't already grown used to it.
When they finally sat down at the laid table and Shinonome poured them both the red wine, their salmon meal quietly steaming in front of them, Yukimura noticed. He noticed the strange glint in Shinonome's eyes. His only barely noticeable stiff posture, as if he was nervous. About what, Yukimura didn't know, but the thought that Shinonome maybe worked up to spilling some secret returned. It didn't really make him feel all that well, and he poked at his meal more than ate it, and drank the wine quicker than he probably should have. Which he definitely shouldn't have done with his low tolerance. It went directly to his head and he was glad he was sitting down, or he'd probably trip and fall. His mind was clear enough, though.
"Yuki-chan," Shinonome finally started, now even sounding nervous, which in turn made Yukimura fidget nervously in his seat. This was it. The hour of truth. Where Shinonome told him whatever life-shattering secret he had hidden before. But Shinonome surprised him by standing up and walking around the table to stand right beside Yukimura. He surprised Yukimura even more when he dropped to his knee, looking up with his eyes blown wide and Yukimura imagined he could see the vein at his neck start pumping faster. His alcohol-befuddled brain didn't quite catch up with the situation until Shinonome pulled out a small, black box from his pocket, and Yukimura held his breath.
He saw as if in slow motion how Shinonome opened it, revealing a simple silver ring with a small crystal worked into it, looking like a snowflake trapped between silvery ice. The ring was elegant and simple, and Yukimura couldn't breathe or think or speak.
"Will you marry me?" Shinonome asked and Yukimura finally ripped his gaze from the ring and locked it with Shinonome's, who kept looking at him expectantly, looking like he would burst from the nervousness coming off him in waves. It wasn't like him to be this nervous and it wasn't like Yukimura to be so speechless for so long. But he was sure if he said something now, he'd burst into tears and his heart would swell so much it'd explode. It had to be the alcohol making him think these silly thoughts, but his heart pounded loudly in his ears and the view of Shinonome kneeling in front of him tore at his insides and made him feel all mushy and warm and corny, and he'd hate it if he didn't love it so much right now.
"Yuki-chan...?" Shinonome asked, his face stricken with uncertainty, and he started to babble, "I mean, I know we can't marry in Japan, but we're now earning enough to book a flight to Canada, so... Can you please answer me? Do you want to marry me? Do you want me?"
Yukimura opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish, with no sound coming out of it, but then he all but flew into Shinonome's arms, throwing his arms around the brunette's neck and hiding his face in his chest. He felt embarrassed; he felt loved and safe and relieved and the alcohol was totally at fault for making him clingy and for his eyes watering, but at the moment he didn't give a damn.
"I want you," he whispered against Shinonome's neck, and before he knew what was happening, the ring was glinting with the faintest hint of light blue on his finger and Shinonome was kissing him to within an inch of his life. Mouths open, sucking and biting, it became heady and hot fast, and Shinonome's hands were roaming all over his body, fisting in his hair, pushing under his shirt and rubbing over the skin on his back, making him moan into the kiss as the skin on skin contact sent an electrifying sensation down his spine.
Shinonome latched on his earlobe before pushing his cheek to Yukimura's, breathing hard. "We should take this to the bedroom," he said and swept Yukimura up in his arms in one smooth movement, carrying him bridal-style.
"What are you doing?" Yukimura protested and pushed against Shinonome's chest, but to no avail. The man's grip on him was too strong for his current inebriated state. To be honest, Yukimura was a little turned on by Shinonome's strength—he was carrying a grown man, after all. And it felt a little hot when the brunette all but threw him onto the bed, looming over him with that wanton look on his face, all that intensity directed at Yukimura. Okay, scratch that; it was incredibly hot and probably the reason for his sudden hurry to get rid of his clothes. He only got free of his pants, though, because they were simple slacks he had no trouble pushing off. His fingers failed at his shirt's buttons, only managing to open some of them, but before he could try to get on with it, Shinonome came down on him, completely naked, pushing him back until his head hit the pillow.
Shinonome's chest slid up his own, his hands leaning into the pillow left and right from his head, and then Shinonome's lips closed over his again. He licked into Yukimura's mouth, hot and wet and perfect, and ground his hips against Yukimura's, creating delicious friction. Yukimura didn't know what possessed him, but he gave into the sudden urge to grab Shinonome's shoulders, hook his leg around his thigh, and roll them around so he was lying on top of Shinonome, only briefly interrupting the kiss before their mouths clashed together again passionately.
"What's gotten... into you?" Shinonome asked in between two kisses, pushing his hand under Yukimura's shirt and up his back, moaning when Yukimura pressed down his hips. He felt the blush start in his chest and spread upwards through his cheeks and towards his ears at Shinonome's question. He didn't really have a good answer for that—at least none that wouldn't end in utter humiliation on his part—so he simply buried his teeth into Shinonome's shoulder, biting him hard enough to evoke a gasp, but not enough to bruise. It was hotter than he had imagined that he could do that to Shinonome, and it made him even harder than he already was. He did it again.
"Yuki-" His name said in one breath, almost like a whine, spurred Yukimura on. He slipped his hand down Shinonome's naked chest and between them until it cupped the brunette's cock, and the expectant gasp coming from Shinonome was all he needed to hear. He gave it a gentle squeeze and rubbed over it, surprised when Shinonome's moan went straight to his own cock. He had waited for so long for this intimacy, and this foreplay just wasn't enough anymore.
He blindly groped for the nightstand, pulled open the shelf and fumbled a bit before closing his hand around the lube. Shinonome's eyes darkened when he realized what he was doing, and the sound of the lube squelching into his hand was more obscene than he had intended. It made the wait almost unbearable. Yukimura did wonder how Shinonome hadn't taken over yet, but rubbing at his own hole and pushing a finger in dispersed those thoughts immediately. He never averted his eyes from Shinonome, who kept looking at him like he was the best thing in the entire world, biting at his lower lip, and Yukimura didn't know how he could look so sappy in a moment like this. When he let out a low groan as he entered a second finger Shinonome's grip on his hips tightened almost painfully, and it shouldn't be as hot as it felt.
But what broke him was Shinonome's look. It hadn't really changed all that much—still as sappy as before—but the love in his eyes was so obvious, so distinct, that Yukimura gave a strangled moan, pulled out his fingers and aligned Shinonome's cock before slowly sliding it in, gliding down on it, all the while watching Shinonome's mouth open in a soundless moan. The brunette's hands ran up and down his sides hurriedly, like he had to do it to keep himself from bucking upwards. Yukimura would have none of it, because for once, he knew exactly what he wanted as he caught the glint from his ring and his heart made a happy leap.
He raised his hips, almost sliding off completely, and came down hard on Shinonome, his cheeks slapping against the skin around Shinonome's cock. The sound would have embarrassed him normally, but tonight, it made him shiver with pleasure. Until Shinonome got with the idea and finally let himself go, rocking up into Yukimura and sending flashes of pleasure into every cell of his body. Until they picked up the speed and Yukimura fell forward onto his elbows, his forehead against Shinonome's, loud moans escaping his lips at every thrust of Shinonome's hips.
"I love you," Shinonome whispered against his lips before capturing them in an almost tender kiss that soon morphed into something needy and wet, tongues dancing, teeth biting hungrily. Shinonome's hands spread Yukimura's ass cheeks a bit wider, slamming into him erratically now, and it was too much and too little at the same time, and Yukimura let out a prolonged whine when Shinonome slipped out of him. It was highly embarrassing, and judging by Shinonome's dopey grin he wouldn't let him live this down.
Just as swift as Shinonome had picked him up in the kitchen, he leaned up and with that forced Yukimura in a sitting position too, then pushed him down on his back and diving down to ravish his body from top to bottom, biting at his neck, licking at his skin with broad swipes, sucking on his nipple and causing Yukimura to arch his back and hook his legs around his waist, his hand gripping at Shinonome's hair desperately, the other clenching the sheets. When Shinonome entered him again with a hard thrust, hitting his prostate, he almost saw stars and his own moan drowned out every other sound.
The sight of Shinonome looming over him, desire clouding his eyes, his hair damp and skin sweaty, rocking into him steadily, made Yukimura so dizzy, electrified his skin, making him so sensitive to Shinonome's touch that he had to grip his cock hard to stop himself from coming already. Only that Shinonome slapped it away and started pumping him, in rhythm with his ever faster thrusts, until Yukimura was a writhing mess underneath him. Until he felt the familiar pooling sensation in his sac that he had missed the past week, and he saw white when he came.
Shinonome kissed him fiercely and his erratic thrusts almost managed to make Yukimura's cock twitch again with interest, but then Shinonome came inside him and collapsed on top of him. They were both breathing heavily and Yukimura closed his eyes, completely blissed out.
"I love you too," Yukimura whispered so low he thought Shinonome couldn't have possibly heard. But the brunette moved so they were lying side by side and pulled Yukimura into an embrace, wrapping as much of his big body around him as he could.
"I know", he said, and Yukimura could feel his smile in his hair.
Their legs intertwined and his forehead resting against Shinonome's warm chest, Yukimura felt that he had everything he ever wanted. He leisurely brushed his hand up Shinonome's chest, watching the crystal in his ring glittering, and he couldn't stop the smile creeping on his face.
"So that's what has kept you away from home," Yukimura finally said, not taking his gaze away from the ring. It was weirdly fascinating and hypnotizing.
"Yeah... and it was kinda tricky to get your ring size," Shinonome replied sheepishly while brushing random patterns into Yukimura's back with his fingers, "In the end I had to sneak up on you in your sleep."
Which explained that cool sensation he had felt that one night around his finger. It was a little hilarious, if he was honest, and he was glad he was too tired and contented to laugh.
"So," Shinonome said, amusement audible in his voice, and Yukimura looked up into his eyes to see him mischievously grinning down on him, "Shuji Shinonome?"
Yukimura's first instinct was to smack him, even when he realized that he really liked the sound of that. "I'm not a girl! I won't take on your name!"
"Ryuichi Yukimura, then?" Shinonome asked, chuckling a little and pulling Yukimura even tighter against himself, letting the redhead bury his face in his chest and just breathe.
"That might work..." Yukimura murmured sleepily and yawned. He felt Shinonome settle in for some sleep, his lips back in Yukimura's hair. It felt like very nice dream, although he knew it wasn't, and that knowledge alone made him feel so relaxed and content that he didn't fight Shinonome at all, straying from their usual routine. He let Shinonome press soft little kisses into his hair and let his love wash over him, just like that. Just for tonight.
Tomorrow, he thought, he'd get back to being himself, bickering over planning their trip to Canada, fighting over the whole naming business and pretending to avoid Shinonome's affection, which just made the brunette more stubborn and pushy—just the way they liked it. Tomorrow, he thought, before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.