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After Steve had poured his heart out to the older boy he began to feel fuzzy.
There was a pleasant pins and needles sensation ghosting over his skin, concentrating mainly in his chest.
What was even better was that whenever Eddie touched him, whether it was a shoulder bumping his only to flash a secretive smile through his curls, or a knee knocking into his and a wink when Steves attention was stolen, this made the feeling grow. Grow enough that the buzz under his skin felt like cold air on a hot day or clean sheets after an hour long shower, finger tips burning patterns on his thighs even. It made his heart race and his chest constrict, his face flush and eyes dart to the floor.
There was no time to be alone with him.
He tried, pushed for him to be the one to stay with Eddie in the stolen RV, urging for the rest of them to go searching for shot guns and knives, only to be pulled away anyway and told that they needed him in the store. He considered pulling him away from Dustin telling him he needed help with making a new nail bat, he decided against it when Eddie tackled the science nerd to the ground and started rough housing him.
So there was no time.
“Hey Steve?”
Their eyes met, so much emotion dying to be let out.
“Make him pay.” It sounded an awful lot like ‘I love you’. Which sounded like he was saying goodbye.
“Yeah man of course.”
-
Eddie didn’t think he was an unlucky guy.
Yeah sure he and his uncle struggled for money, and maybe his mom didnt try to help him when his dad smacked him around, and perhaps he was gay in a town where you hear the word ‘fag’ thrown around like it doesnt mean anything.
But Eddie wasn't an unlucky guy.
This was what he thought until Steve had spoken to him a few hours ago.
It’s a good thing, he keeps telling himself. Like he isn't thinking about the bad parts. He should've said no, that Steve deserved better, that Eddie didn't like boys. But the promise of love after so much pain made him blind to his own building intentions, made him stupidly wish for something good.
He cant blame himself entirely, the plan didnt form fully in his mind until he was told to be careful, that they needed a distraction. That the bats could kill.
So that’s where he found himself now, Dustins agonised voice, thick with tears sobbing, “No no, no,” Eddie would've had him go with someone else if the others didn't insist. He’s just buying some time right? It’s enough plausible deniability for the others to believe he didn't kill himself. He didn't know he wouldn't make it. He was just buying them all some time.
The angry red cuts on his thighs broke open when he rushed away from the swarm of demons behind him, burning more than the effort of riding did in his muscles. If you're going to do something as selfish as this, the least you can do is help the others.
The first bat caught up to him, wrapping its tail around his ankle and snapping his foot from the pedal. He careened to the floor with a grunt before scrambling to his feet again and running. He was always a runner wasn't he? From his parents when his dad got too bad, from his feelings when they became too much, from the girl who died in his living room. Would you have closed her eyes if he had them?
He thinks about Hellfire, the three freshman hed seen huddled around eachother at lunch looking scared when they were alone but full of happiness when they were together, Dustin in his Weird Al shirt seemingly unaware of how brave he was being for labelling himself as a nerd, unaware of the onslaught of bullying that made him prone to. Eddie cared for the kid, he cared for all of them.
He would've walked the stage this year. The thought was bitter compared to the rest, even more so now he knows he could have had a gaggle of kids and a (maybe) boyfriend cheering for him in the stands. I guess it really is my year.
He cried out in pain when his side it the ground, his ankle twisting painfully. He scrambled to his feet. This is it huh? He lifted his right arm squeezing his hand around the handle of the makeshift shield. ‘Will this be the year you finally end your pathetic fucking life?’
Yeah dad. Its finally my year.
The storm of bats hammered against the shield, nearly knocking it from his hand. The moment seemed surreal, demonic creatures straight out of a dnd guide swirling around him. They were swooping in from all sides now, they seemed to be playing with him. He thrashed at them anyway, anger gathering in a tight ring in his chest. He screamed at them, slashing with his spear and blocking with his shield. His hand rushed to his neck when he felt the pressure there. The bat tail slicing into his skin. Another pushed him over when it barrelled towards his chest, the hive-mind wasting no time in pinning his arms and legs to the floor. He heard his name being cried out in the distance.
He struggled weakly again the bonds holding him down, halfheartedly trying to break away. The first bite was the worst. His throat felt sore with the effort of screaming, he knew it was futile but screaming felt like release, felt so much better than silence. When the bats had started ripping the flesh from his legs his brain had shut off the feeling of pain. He coughed up blood when the pressure from his throat relented.
“Eddie.” The voice sounded broken. “Oh god Eddie?”
“That bad huh?” He glanced at Dustin.
“No no you’re gonna be fine but we’ve gotta get you to a hospital okay?” His head was lifted off the ground, causing his chest to convulse in pain, more blood rising in his throat.
“Okay.” He felt numb.
His sides screamed at him when his torso was twisted to the side. His strangled shout gave Dustin pause, “I just, just need, just give me a second okay?”
He could see the moment Dustin gave up, realised there was nothing he could do. Eddie smiled up at him. “I didn’t run away this time right?”
Dustin looked heartbroken.
“No. No you didn’t run Eddie.”
“You’re gonna have to look after those sheep for me okay?” Fresh tears gathered in his eyes.
“No you’re gonna do that yourself.”
“Nah man.” He didn’t feel real. “Promise me.”
Dustin hit his chest gently. “Ill look after them.”
“You gotta tell Steve I’m sorry too. That, that i was already gonna leave and that its not his fault yeah?”
“I promise.”
“I think its my year Henderson,”
‘Kill yourself freak.’
“Its finally my year.”
‘I’ll bet you 20 bucks that devil worshipping fag swallows one too many pills this year yeah?’
“I love you man.”
“I love you too.” His chest constricted on his next breathe, the blood settling in his throat stopping him from inhaling.
This is it.
My fucking year.