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Love is not for cowards, it's for those who dare to ignite the flame and burn with it.
And Jungkook feels the fire curl up inside him, around him, it's hot, everywhere and the reason is his lover, Jimin.
They had just come back from their usual evening run, sweaty and huffing, their couple tracksuits clinging to their backs but Jungkook doesn't mind it, he's, in fact, used to it, it's their daily routine, after getting done with whatever work they have for the day they must go out for a run around the town and to him it's the best part of the day. Actually, being with Jimin is the best part of the day.
Jimin kisses him out of his thoughts and brings him back to the world of blaze, his hands are everywhere, on his shoulders, his back, in his locks, they tug and scratch and squeeze and Jungkook feels dizzy.
As their lips part ways and Jungkook gasps, breathing heavily, his grip on Jimin's track suit tightening, Jimin holds his jaw and pulls him in for another kiss before he has the time to recover from the last one. It feels crazy. He's going crazy.
Just when his hands roam down and squeeze Jimin's ass, the other pulls away, the lilt of his giggles bouncing off the walls, "oh, no Jungkookie, today we relax, I'm exhausted. Come on, it's date night!"
Jimin helps Jungkook out of his jacket after taking his own out and Jungkook does nothing but stares dumb struck, he's so beautiful. How is he so beautiful?
When a hand flies in front of his eyes he snaps back to the present, Jimin is looking at him, his lips turned up into a mirthful smile, "Hello? Where are you? Let's go!" Jungkook's ears burn on being caught staring, he shakes his head before taking off his shoes and stepping inside the apartment.
The city looks so calm tonight, the sky covered in a blanket of darkness as the stars shine like fairy lights, Jungkook feels it, it's one of those nights, a night of love, a night of romance.
They both change quickly into their pajamas before turning off their phones, Jungkook tosses it onto the bed as he follows Jimin downstairs. No one can dare disturb them now, it's just a night for them and them alone, the rest of the world could go to hell.
Jimin stands in the middle of the living room when Jungkook reaches down the steps, his hands on his hips, he looks at Jungkook, "what do you want to do, movies or Nintendo?"
Jungkook chuckles, making his way towards the couch, Jimin always asks the same question and he always answers the same, "You're such a brat. You know I always lose at Nintendo, stop teasing or I'll choose the movie this time too."
Jimin huffs, "Okay, Okay," and then his pout turns into a smirk, "you know what movie to choose. I'll go prepare everything." And even though he says that he still walks over to Jungkook and gives him a peck on the lips which soon turns into them going full on french kissing with tangled tongues and string of saliva connecting their lips. It's gross and it's heavenly and he can't get enough.
Jungkook pats his butt and pulls away smiling, "Go." He says while giving his boyfriend a playful shove. His boyfriend. His partner. His lover. His.
Jimin laughs before heading to the kitchen. There are sounds of cupboards opening and microwave beeping as Jungkook busies himself with finding the movie.
The notebook.
It's Jimin's favourite movie since the first time Hoseok made them watch it at their sleepover while they were in high school. That was a long, long time ago, probably eight years and when Jungkook thinks about it he feels weird. Have they grown up so much? Has it really been that long? Has it been that long since Jungkook met Jimin for the very first time? How could it be when it feels like yesterday?
How is it that Jungkook has managed to love a single person for eight years without his feelings ever reducing? Is this what falling in love feels like?
Jimin sits down beside him, the bowl of popcorn sits on the glass of the center table and so does the bottle of red wine. He gets comfortable, his knees pulled up near his chest and Jungkook doesn't waste a minute before pouring each of them a glass.
The movie starts with a red sun rising up the horizon and Jimin is immediately hooked, his eyes wide and sparkling and Jungkook can't help getting hooked on him.
They met while they were in high school, Jimin being a year ahead of him, he was confident, smart, handsome and a presence to be reckoned with while Jungkook was a shy teen with a face full of acne and pimple on his nose, not to mention he wore those stupid oversized glasses which made him look more like a nerd than he was.
Jungkook loved Jimin, his best friend, he loved how Jimin always looked out for him, how he always made sure Jungkook felt involved, how he always shared his lunch which contained those yummy rice cakes his mom made, he loved how Jimin let him name the newborn kittens his cat had given birth to and– yeah, he loved Jimin in general.
But he fell in love with him when Jimin gave him his shoulder to cry on after his father passed away, he fell in love with him when he used up all his savings to buy him a new camera just because Jungkook loved photography, he fell in love with him when he kissed him on the forehead after Jungkook came out to him, Jungkook fell in love with Jimin and he never wants to get up ever again.
The day Jungkook confessed his love is a day he would always remember, he would always remember the hug they shared in the rain after that silly argument they had, he would always remember how Jimin had cried while Jungkook apologized for messing up, he cried even harder when Jungkook said he loved him.
"Hyung— Jimin, Jimin I–I love you, I'm sorry, please. Please forgive me, I love you, hyung, I'm in love with you. I'm sorry."
"Hush, silly. Stupid Jungkookie, my—my Jungkookie, I love you too silly, I love you so much. Hyung will always forgive you, I—"
Jungkook didn't need to hear anything else, he was content, it was enough, it was enough because the next thing he knew he was kissing Jimin, he was kissing his best friend and it was the loveliest feeling in the world. The feeling he had yearned for oh, so long.
"Kook! Why are you zoning out so much today? Watch the movie." Jimin giggles gesturing at the TV with his chin.
He sighs, leaning back on the couch, "we're watching it the seventeenth time, it's boring and stupid. I'm sure I've memorized the whole script by now."
"Hm. We'll see about that."
The movie went on as they finish the popcorn, the wine glasses were empty too with the bottle containing only half of what it originally had and by the time the credits started to roll Jungkook is tipsy, he feels his ears flushing and his eyes drooping but when he takes a glance at Jimin he sees him smiling, almost at the verge of laughter, his eyes already locked on Jungkook, Jungkook blinks at him, eyebrows frowned but soon he comes to understand his face of mirth when Jimin's dainty fingers runs across his cheeks, wiping away the tears.
Jungkook ducked his head in embarrassment, his fingers squeezing his eyes shut, huffing he whines out, "I'm not crying. Go away!"
Jimin's laughter fills the room again, "Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, dude."
"It's such a stupid movie, what do you even like about it?" He lets out a groan, covering his face with his palms when his voice comes out watery.
"I like how you always call it stupid but then you start crying like a baby."
"Hm. You just like to torment me." Jungkook mumbles to himself.
"Jungkookie?"
"Hmm."
"I love you."
Jungkook whips his head to look at Jimin, startled at the sudden confession. He smiles awkwardly, "I love you too." The words tremble down his lips automatically, it's a habit at this point. A habit he won't ever want to grow out of.
Before he even gets to realise what is going on Jimin is kissing him, softly, sweetly and oh so lovingly. Jimin kisses like home, he kisses like safety and warmth and Jungkook is lost, never wanting to be found again.
Jimin bites his bottom lips, giving it a tender tug and from there everything is moving faster, one second they are on the couch and the next their clothes are a heap on the rugged floor.
Skin on skin they don't need to speak through words, they understand each other just like that and Jungkook loves every second of it. Loves those breathy moans and hoarse sounds of pleasure, he loves knowing that it's caused by him.
Lips swollen but they are still kissing and it's Jungkook who pulls away first, his thumb caressing Jimin's cheek, there is a serene smile on his face and the moment feels so right like it has never been before, "Have I ever told you, I'm grateful you're mine?"
Jimin chuckles, "Yes. Yes, you have, on the day I accepted your proposal and I'm grateful that you're mine too. Won't want to be with anyone else, it's you, it's only you, it's always you, Jungkook."
It's always you too.
"...Kook?"
"...Jungkook?"
"Jungkook-ah, get up."
Jungkook sits up, his neck aching and body stiff, his head feels too heavy for his body and Jungkook feels the telltale signs of a handover. "Hmm?" Quite disoriented he looks around, taking in the interior of an unfamiliar room and a very worried looking Namjoon by the foot of the bed. "Where…where are we?" He asks softly, flopping his head back on the pillow.
"Jeju. Get freshen up, we have to get going, the others have already gone for breakfast."
Jungkook picks his heavy head up again, his face a picture of confusion, "Why are we in Jeju?"
Namjoon lets out a sigh, rubbing his face with an impatient hand, "God, you're so screwed up." He mutters under his breath but Jungkook hears it anyway, "How much did you drink last night?"
Jungkook thinks about it but comes up with nothing, hell he doesn't even know why he was drinking in the first place, "I don't know?"
Namjoon sighs again, shaking his head as he gestures for Jungkook to get up and points at the bathroom.
"You didn't answer, why are we in Jeju?" Jungkook nags as he sits up, he's still in his suit, top three buttons undone and his tie hanging low, he's got only one sock on and yeah, he's definitely screwed up bad.
Namjoon looks at him with pity for a long time as if their eye contact is an answer enough but it isn't, because Jungkook is still confused and a sudden anxiety is eating away on his subconscious mind, like he just needs a little hint to connect the dots and when he does, he would be broken again.
"We came to Jeju…" Namjoon pauses as if he's preparing Jungkook, as if he's giving him a chance to change his mind about knowing the answers, "we came to Jeju to attend Jimin's wedding."
Right.
Right. Yes.
Suddenly everything is clicking back together, the bachelor party, the cheers, the vows, the—
The kiss.
The kiss that Jimin shared not with him but her, his girlfriend, the love of his life, the one that makes him happy, the one with whom he is married to, someone who is not Jungkook.
Not Jungkook, it isn't him, it was never him, Jungkook was just a friend and he'd always be a friend, who would be staying in the side lines forever, who'd love from afar, who'd always be left behind because…
Because Jimin loved someone else. He belonged to someone else.
Because Jungkook didn't confess when he should have, he didn't kiss him on that rainy day, he didn't promise him forever.
Because love is not for cowards and Jungkook has always been a coward. He is a loser.
And now it's too late.
"Jungkook—" he is spiralling again, he knows because the familiar feeling of suffocation is squeezing at his windpipe. He's under water, drowning, down, down…
Until everything goes black.
He knew coming here was a bad Idea, he just hopes he doesn't go back to the bad habits again.