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When they reached their hotel room after the second day of the world tour, Apo was ready to spiral out of control. He kicked off his shoes, peeled the sweaty clothes off his skin, and fell on the bed spreadeagle. His ears were humming. The screams of the audience. The music. His earpiece feeding him clear sounds every second of the show.
Two days in a row. Two days. How did rockstars do a concert every night?
"Shower," Mile said, kicking Apo's foot lightly with his shin. "You are gross. We both are."
Apo let out an unintelligible sound.
"Do I need to carry you?"
Apo lifted one arm up as much as he could. It wasn't much. He was lying face down on the bed covers. Room service had been diligent with the cleaning and their bed smelled of fresh linen. Nice.
The bed dipped a little when Mile sat on it. "Hey…" A hand in his hair. That heavy, familiar feel of Mile's touch. So much his. All the way his. Yet not. "You okay?"
Apo nodded.
He knew Mile was smiling even though he said nothing more and Apo didn't steal a glance. The easy smile Mile always had for him was just that constant. People didn't know how cute Mile was. How sweet he was. How very little he cared about status and just wanted to entertain. It was in his blood, the yearning for art, for creating happiness. He was such a gentle soul. From the old world. When people were a bit more polite and far less crass.
"Come. Shower."
Apo hated going to bed dirty. He always showered before bed. "Can't walk," he said quietly.
"I'll help you." Mile tried to pull him up, but Apo couldn't put Mile through that. It wasn't fair. He always took care of everyone. Who took care of Mile?
"No." He tried to push Mile's hands away, but his coordination was beyond repair. He ended up hitting Mile. Maybe somewhere close to his inner thigh.
Mile let out a strangled sound of pain.
"Sorry, sorry." Apo tried to push himself up on his elbows and finally managed on the second try. He looked at Mile and only saw a playful grin on his gorgeous face. Good. He hadn't actually hurt him. "Sorry," he said again, just to make sure Mile knew he didn't mean to.
"It's okay." Mile helped him into a sitting position. How did he have energy left? Mile was still recovering from covid. He'd been so tired after the show, with the fans and the press. He was such a powerbank.
Apo closed his eyes, breathed in and out a few times, and pulled himself together. He had worked endless hours as a bartender. He'd filmed hour after hour during night scenes. He knew how to fake awakeness. "Okay," he finally said. "I'm ready."
He got up and… promptly fell on the floor before Mile could do anything. His legs had died on him.
Mile kneeled before him, a worried look on his face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm just a drama queen," Apo muttered and made Mile laugh. That sound was so soothing.
"Come on. Come on now." Mile put his arms under Apo's armpits and pulled him up. It didn't help. His legs were not co-operating. Mile did the only reasonable thing and lifted Apo in his arms like he wasn't exhausted at all. The ridiculous man was carrying him bridal style into the bathroom.
They had some trouble with the door, but somehow Mile maneuvered Apo's legs and whole body in and there he was, in the bathtub, losing his dignity and most of his sanity, too.
"It's not like I haven't seen you naked," Mile said when he motioned Apo to take off the remaining garment on his lean golden body. His boxer briefs. White like in the series. He'd started liking those after seeing Mile's hands kneading his ass in them. Yeah… He was having that thought while his on-screen partner looked at him expectedly. Take them off.
Apo surrendered. He would do anything Mile asked. Zhan Zhao was proof of that. But it had been Mile's dream to dress Apo as his childhood's favorite character. Child Mile got his wish. Grownup Mile would get his too.
He leaned against the back of the tub, pushed his ass up, and pulled down the briefs. Mile was busy getting rid of most of his clothes so he wasn't watching.
"Can you get the shower running?" Mile asked, but Apo had used all his strength to undress himself. He felt like a spoiled princess.
"Honestly, I might not move ever again." The adrenaline had burned through him like wildfire, burned a few fuses along the way as well. He'd never put so much energy into one moment in his life. He'd been on the edge constantly even when he wasn't the one performing. He wanted everyone to do their best, to shine, to be extraordinary. And that took effort.
Mile huffed, then switched on the shower. Thank heavens for Mile who knew how to operate showers.
Apo closed his eyes and waited. He was leaning against the tub's back again, his hands resting calmly against his groin, one knee bent, the other leaning against the side languidly. The tub was big enough for him to straighten his legs.
Mile brought the shower over Apo's body, his hand pressed lightly against the waterflow so it would be softer. Mile always thought of everything. Apo sighed, smiling.
"You're beautiful." Mile said it like he hadn't meant to say it out loud. He didn't try to fix it, though. Just let it slide. He'd said it many times. Apo had heard it a million times before. At work. From random strangers. Friends. Lovers. You're unreal. It hurts to look at your beauty. You really are God's favorite child. People noticed him. They just often didn't stay because he wasn't what they dreamed of. He was obnoxiously energetic and anal about details. He loved shoes and fashion. And if he liked someone he would be a constant nuisance. Mile didn't joke when he said Apo called him all day everyday. Po likes Mile. That's it. Very simple. Yet not.
"Friends kiss sometimes, huh?" he said just to tease Mile. That's what Mile had said during the show. And yes, sometimes friends kissed each other. Sometimes they wanted to kiss.
The words made Mile stop what he was doing and the shower kept pouring over Apo's chest. "Sometimes they do," Mile finally said.
Apo had once said in an interview that if he felt something towards his friend he would just talk to said friend. But would he really? If he didn't know for sure how he felt. Some of Porsche had been bleeding into him. He couldn't know. And Mile… He was a good man. He'd never take advantage of Apo's confusion. Besides, Mile was far too shy to make the first move. So here they were… teetering. Dangerously close to half-truths.
Mile gradually moved to wash Apo's hair, asked him to tilt his head back, and suddenly the air was thick and harder to breathe. Mile's hand was in his hair, spreading shampoo all over his head, and it felt so good. So good he had to part his lips and lean into the touch.
"You have to stop," Mile said into that thick air.
"Stop what?"
"You look debauched."
Apo opened his eyes, a little shocked. "Sorry… Didn't mean… I'm just so tired and that was perfect for my mushy brain."
"I know." Mile let his hand fall off Apo's hair. "All clean now."
Apo didn't want it to end. "What about you?"
Mile smiled a little ruefully. "Let's get you to bed. I'll shower after."
That felt like a cruel joke. "No."
Mile looked surprised. "No?"
"No. Let Po at least wash your back." Before Mile could recover from the request Apo took the showerhead from him and pulled his hand until Mile gave in and stepped into the huge tub. Perfect. "Now relax."
Mile was facing away from him, sitting cross-legged in the tub, his boxers still on.
"And take those off," Apo said as he started to wash Mile's back. First he rinsed away all the sweat with clean water, then scrubbed some lovely smelling shower gel on his back while Mile concentrated on getting naked. "Imagine everyone seeing us now," Apo added after a moment and Mile tensed under his touch, then relaxed. Forced calmness.
If Apo wasn't so tired he'd be better at reading Mile, but these small details between them were definitely starting to bother Mile. "Do you mind… this? Us?"
Mile let his head fall against his chest, his neck taut, his body nothing but tense lines. "Yes and no. More no, though. Don't worry."
Apo leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Mile's shoulder. "You know my mind tick-tick-ticks. You know it."
"I know."
"Okay." Apo smelled Mile's clean skin, his lips almost touching him again. A sniff-kiss. He loved those. "I really want you to lean back and relax. Can you do that?" He wasn't tired anymore. Something had taken him over.
Mile was quiet for a long time. Too long. Nervous-breakdown-long, but then he moved like a reverent deity, nearly knocking all breath out of Apo when he came to him, eyes closed but somehow still a little more relaxed than before.
Apo didn't dare to say anything. He pressed a button and the tub started to fill. He poured copious amounts of shower gel all around them and then just lay in the brightness of one Mile Phakphum Romsaithong.
"For such a bold man you sure are quiet," Mile said after a while.
"You took my breath away," Apo said and he could feel the silent giggle.
"I did, didn't I?"
Apo dared to put one hand against Mile's stomach and trace an invisible trail there. Mile grabbed his hand, stopped it and then held onto it. Apo wanted to scream. Instead, he used his other hand to caress Mile's chest. So light it was barely a touch. But it was there. They both knew it.
Mile swallowed audibly.
None of it was ever real. Some of it should be. He moved his hand up and when Mile didn't try to stop him he touched Mile's chin, then lips. He remembered how it felt to kiss those lips. They were full and surprisingly soft. And so god damn demanding. He wondered if Mile kissed like Kinn did. "You sang to me," he whispered, his voice hoarse.
Mile nodded ever so slightly.
"Why?"
"I don't…"
"Tell me." Apo traced Mile's lips, his touch still feather-light, more teasing than seducing. He wanted to know why Mile was in his arms right now.
"I don't know." Mile kissed Apo's fingers and that felt devine. Perfection. This might be more than he had dared to hope.
Apo leaned close to Mile's ear and whispered, "Do better. Tell me."
"I can't see my future without you. You're the single most bright thing in every moment of my life. I don't know."
Nobody had ever made him feel like Mile did. Like when he said Apo wasn't weird, that it was just his character. How did one respond to things like that? Mile actually dedicated song lyrics to him. He wrote poetry to him. It was always light and small and never anything too… meaningful. But maybe it was. Maybe they were more than just friends. He didn't know how to ask.
"So...." Mile continued after a while. "I want to ask things. And I'm not sure if that's okay."
"Like what?" Apo sounded breathless. His fingers were still touching Mile's jaw, his other hand in Mile's firm hold, like he was captured and would never be set free again. Mile was heavy against him, a living, breathing being who had enchanted him with his words.
"Like… Would you mind staying? Could we just promise to be in each other's lives always, no matter what? Can I have you calling me always? Can we stay this way forever?"
This way? Nothing more? Apo tried to swallow the bitter disappointment. There was his answer. He wanted more than just their weird friendship. "And if I have someone else in my life some day?"
Mile tensed. "Let's not think about that now. We're here now, just the two of us."
"Not always, though. Eventually… There will be someone else." Unless…
Mile groaned and it vibrated through Apo, his whole body reacting to the feel of that sound. "Don't bring others here now."
Apo grabbed Mile's jaw and tilted his head back so he could force Mile to look at him. You could have me, he wanted to say. "You'll always have me in your future. I'll never disappear. I'll never play any games. If you treat me well I'll always come back to you." He smiled a genuine, warm Apo-smile to let Mile know that he was telling the absolute truth. He would stay. No matter what. No matter who Mile would love and how much he would suffer for it. "I'll stay." He kissed Mile's forehead. "And I'll love you until I die."
"Apo…"
"No, you don't get to take back anything. You wanted to ask so I'm giving you what you want. All of it."
Mile turned in his arms, his right hand against Apo's chest to hold himself up. They were too close, and too fucking naked to have this conversation. "Apo… I…" Mile's eyes were deep dark pits and they always commanded attention. Now they were so tender Apo could barely look into them. Mile was being his best self and Apo didn't want this now. He didn't want tender. He wanted undying strangeness. The things they were just for each other. He only wanted that from Mile right now. Everything else was too fragile. He could break under that stare.
Mile spoke again, but Apo couldn't understand the words. He wasn't willing to listen.
He closed his eyes and leaned back against the tub. He didn't want these words, the understanding Mile always had for him. He didn't want any of it.
Mile pinched his cheek and Apo's eyes flew open. The bastard.
"Listen to me."
"No. I'm done for today." Apo pushed Mile away gently and got up, realizing too late that he put his cock right in front of Mile's face. He turned and quickly stepped out of the tub, Mile's shocked expression etched to his memory. Yeah, he'd just done that.
He grabbed a bathrobe, wrapped it around his wet body and went to the balcony. He leaned over the railing, his hair wild in the wind. The night was warm, but he still shivered. Fuck, fuck, fuck…
Mile's arms wrapped around him from behind and pulled him into a tight hug. Apo went willingly to him. Anything. Always. He belonged to very few people. "I'm sorry," Mile said after a while. He sounded so like Kinn that Apo lost his sense of reality. "I shouldn't be asking for anything. But you're not the only one who's lost in this thing we have."
What thing do we have? What is between us? Tell me.
"Do you…" Mile buried his face in Apo's neck and breathed in his scent. Apo held onto the railing, his knuckles white. Mile had to know what he did to him. "Do you want me to kiss you?" Mile asked close to his skin.
Apo's knees gave in just a little, but he held himself up with the sheer need to see what would happen next. Because he was going to be honest. "Yes," he whispered.
"Apo…" It sounded desperate. A plea.
He turned around in Mile's arms and stayed mere inches away from Mile's face, breathing his air. "Kiss me, please."
Mile grabbed the back of his head gently and kissed him like he'd never kissed him before. Mile didn't kiss like Kinn. He wasn't a brute. Instead, he was quiet and thorough and somehow softer than Apo had expected. There was intent behind everything Mile did, but here, he wasn't forcing or demanding but asking.
And Apo whimpered into that kiss, a sound he'd been holding in ever since he realized some of Porsche had bled into him. Or maybe some of him had bled into Porsche.
He held onto Mile's shoulders, his head dizzy, like he'd never been kissed before. He couldn't hold back the toe-curling effect of Mile's kiss and soon he was way too needy, way too vulnerable just because of one kiss. One kiss from a man.
There was love here. Genuine love. That's what made all the difference. He'd never been loved like this and he'd never loved like this. It was a little too all-consuming.
Apo pulled back, but rested his forehead against Mile's, panting. Pleasure was spreading through him without his consent. "You… are one hell of a kisser."
Mile's laugh was warm. "Better than Kinn?"
"Better than anyone." That was maybe too much, too soon, but it was the truth.
Mile hummed, pressing his cheek against Apo's. "I'm terrified, you know," he said conversationally. "Nothing's ever easy."
"What if it is?" Apo followed Mile's touches with his own, cat-like, almost purring. He could be easy. "Your mom loves me."
Mile laughed again. "True."
"Everyone else can fuck off."
"Apo…"
"They have no say here. You matter. I matter. That's it."
Mile kissed his ear, so gentle it was almost a non-touch. "You could break my heart. You can, you know."
Apo pulled Mile tighter against himself. "I won't. I'm a softy. My heart is for gentle people only."
Mile let out an odd sound, hurt and angry at the same time. "I'm sorry you've met shitty people before." He said it with the kind of voice that meant business. If Mile ever met anyone who had hurt Apo they would be sorry.
"Yeah…" His fractured heart had been healing with Mile ever since Mile realized Apo was just as sensitive as he was. They were two softies. Maybe that's why they had been circling each other forever. Neither had what it took to take what they wanted. What if someone got hurt? What if they didn't work? What if the world hated them and tore them apart? What ifs. But here they were… two sensitive fools with their hearts in their sleeves. "I've loved you for a long time," Apo said against Mile's cheek.
"Really?" Just a whisper.
"I let it slip during that live once… I noticed you back then, in university. I carried you with me. Always looked at you, hoping you'd notice me too."
"I've always noticed you."
Apo sighed. "You were dating girls."
Mile pulled back to finally look at him properly. A quiet conversation between best friends. So many secrets revealed. No eyes should be locked during such conversations. They were too fragile and unreal. "Apo, I'm…"
"I know you like all human beings, all genders. I know. But you were dating girls only. I always thought you wanted a normal life."
"It's not abnormal to want you." Mile looked offended. "Anything but. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Do you have any idea how beautiful you are to me?"
No, he didn't.
"Your waist is marble-perfect." Mile wiped a loose strand off Apo's forehead. "I could look at you for a year and never get bored. There is always something new to admire. You're so strange with your beauty. So exceptional. I've always been drawn to you. So yeah… You should know how obsessed I've been with you. And to be honest… Your looks have been the least of my worries. Haven't you noticed how you affect me? Whatever you want, I want to give to you. But if I shower you with gifts you might think I'm trying to buy your love. So I'm living on a wire. Always trying to stay safe. Don't be too much. Don't give too much so you don't feel like disappearing. I don't want to suffocate you."
The onslaught of words was so unlike Mile. He was always so controlled. He always knew what to do. But right now, he looked at Apo like he'd been on the edge for too long.
"Also, you are the sweetest, kindest person I know. How can you be so sweet?" Mile kissed his nose. "So yeah, it's not abnormal to love you. It would be easier to be with a woman, but it wouldn't be easier to love anyone else."
"You love me?" Apo asked, his throat full of ache.
"Haven't I been confessing my love for you the whole evening?" Mile touched Apo's closed eyelids with his nose. "For the past two nights actually. I haven't really been hiding it on stage either."
Apo pouted. He'd cry if he didn't. He hadn't expected any of this. "Don't be so wonderful."
Mile kissed the side of his face, then the long line of his jaw. "I've dreamed of charming you with my words."
"But…"
"No buts, baby. You wanted to know so I'm telling you. Yes, I'm crazy about you. Yes, I love you. Yes, I'm terrified. Yes, you can end me. That's not the kind of power I want to give anyone." Mile kissed the corner of Apo's lips. "But… my heart might be safer with you if I give us a chance."
"I'd never have anyone else. Ever."
"Never ever?"
"Never ever." He still pouted. Mile was giving him what he wanted. He didn't dare to open his eyes.
"And if I treat you well?"
"I'll stay."
Mile kissed him long and hard, his arms wrapped tightly around Apo's shoulders. It lasted forever. A breathless eternity. And when Mile finally released him, Apo held onto him because he couldn't stand on his own.
"Take me inside," Apo whispered.
Mile took his hand and pulled him in. They were both wearing bathrobes and nothing else, and Apo wondered if either of them had the energy to make use of that.
They were by the bed, Mile still holding his hand. There was something precious in his eyes. "Can I just hold you tonight?"
Apo nodded. It wasn't everyday that Khun Phakphum was this gentle with him.
"Come here." Mile pulled him under the covers, dimmed the lights, and just held him close, Apo's head resting against Mile's broad chest.
It didn't take him long to fall asleep. Mile was that safe and to his exhausted mind this was home.
*
He woke up to tender fingers brushing against his inner thigh. Mile was languidly laying on his side, watching him, his fingers playful. "Hello." The lamp on the bedside table illuminated him from behind.
"Like what you see?" Apo leaned back against the pillows, a sheet covering his naked body only partly.
Mile nodded. "I've been waiting..." Mile's bathrobe was open and revealed all his beauty. Apo stared at him shamelessly.
"Waiting for what?" Apo slid his fingers over Mile's on his thigh. Their skin tones were so different, Mile's so many shades lighter than his, and it had always mesmerized Apo. Different yet complementing each other. Everything about them was like that.
"Waiting for you to wake up so I can do this." Mile pressed his hand further up and between Apo's legs, the touch so warm and sudden Apo breathed in sharply. Their eyes locked. "Is there anything I can't do to you?" Mile asked.
Apo hesitated for a second, then let his knee fall open. "You can do anything Kinn would do to Porsche." Then he thought about it for a bit and added, "Or anything Mile would do to Apo."
Mile moved like a big cat, his whole body coming to press against Apo's, his nose buried in Apo's neck. "Anything?"
"Even if it hurts a little." He'd been surprised how much he enjoyed being manhandled by Mile as Kinn. He'd never been the one to be fucked, but Mile had made him yearn for it. To know how it would feel to surrender to him completely.
Mile whined against his throat. "I won't hurt you."
"I know you won't hurt me too much."
Mile put his weight on his arms to look at Apo, his eyes wide. "Don't say things like that."
"Why?" Apo gave him a devilish smile. "I know you like it. I've had your fingerprints all over my body for days."
Mile looked shocked. "Did they hurt?"
"They reminded me of you."
Mile's eyes became cloudy. "You like that?"
"Yes." No hesitation.
"Oh…"
Apo took hold of Mile's waist under the open bathrobe. "So… Come here."
And Mile did. He kissed Apo with fervor, his whole being behind that kiss, capturing Apo with ease.
He'd known it would be easy between them. The way Mile caught his wrists in one hand and then devoured every part of Apo he could reach. The way Apo's response was immediate and eager and not one bit hesitant. The way they moved together when Mile wrapped his hand around both their lengths and how it was so similar to everything they had already done yet so different.
This was not for the cameras or the fans or anyone who'd have an opinion about their performance. This was for Mile, for Apo, and for the tiny world they were creating together.
Apo arched his back, pushed with his feet to get closer to Mile, to feel even more connected.
"I don't…" Mile swallowed the words, too lost in them to make sentences, yet somehow he still tried. "How do I get to do this to you? How are you like this? For me."
Apo grabbed the back of Mile's head and brought his lips back to his. He wanted Mile closer to himself. The thought of Mile inside him was just a whisper of a thought, but it burned his core. He wanted that too. Maybe later. Maybe when they weren't so feverish. "You want me here so I'll be here," he whispered back and kissed the side of Mile's mouth when Mile moved his hand faster, with intent, with need. Apo dug his nails into Mile's skin, his back, his neck, wherever he could reach. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" He panted against Mile's cheek and then he was coming, his whole body taut and tender and even a little hurt, like it was all too much and not at all enough.
Mile let go of him and focused on himself now, looking into Apo's eyes.
"I've never seen you come for real," Apo said and tried really hard to focus. He wanted to see it now. More than anything. They'd been almost here for so long, yearning, longing, maybe even pining. "Please."
Mile kissed the corner of Apo's left eye, then pressed his nose against Apo's hair, breathing hard. "Apo… I…"
Apo wrapped one leg around Mile's thigh, his fingers tracing the lines of his body, completely mesmerized by how Mile he was. Not a hint of Kinn here now. Just Mile. Saying his name. Coming on his stomach. So hot. So very real.
"I love you," Mile said when he collapsed on top of Apo. They would stick together if they didn't clean up, but Apo didn't want to move ever again. If he got to keep this he would stay here willingly forever.
"Am I that precious?" Apo stretched his arms up above his head, pleased and cat-like. If Mile petted his hair he'd purr for sure.
"And more." Mile kissed his temple. Then he moved to get up on his knees, but Apo captured him with his arms and legs. "What? I'm just going to sacrifice a pillowcase for our carnal pleasures."
Apo looked at him in shock. "Our what?"
Mile laughed. He'd managed to shake Apo to the core so his octopus-limbs had loosened enough for Mile to pull one pillow out of its case and wipe his stomach with it. Then he did the same to Apo, shook off his bathrobe completely and lay on top of Apo, their legs and arms entangled. "Much better. I won't peel off your body hair in the morning."
"My prince, my sugar blum, my knight in shining armor…"
"Yeah?"
Apo made a tiny agreeing sound. He meant it. Mile was from a different era. Apo would be cherished to the point of irritation, but he didn't mind. He'd let Mile be his knight. Whatever made him happy. "And even though I have my own money, you can buy me things, but only if it makes you happy."
Mile looked pleased beyond Apo's imagination. "Surprise trips?"
"Anything."
"Vintage clothes?"
"You want to dress me up?"
Mile's smile turned devilish. "I want to keep you undressed always."
"Well… that would be unfortunate. They'd arrest me."
"I wouldn't show you to anyone."
"Lock me up in the bedroom?"
"Yes." So possessive. It wasn't entirely a joke.
Apo sighed. "My poor complexion. I'd get no sun."
"You can have a balcony or a rooftop."
"Someone would ogle me with their binoculars for sure. Imagine me doing muay thai naked. They'd film me. I'd be all over the internet."
Mile groaned. "I'm imagining it. Forget it. You'd wear at least those obscene red shorts."
"They leave very little to the imagination. One high kick too many and I would be flashing to the neighborhood."
"I hate you."
"But you love my red shorts."
Mile bit the sensitive skin of his neck and then licked it. "I do. I could not stop looking at you."
"I noticed. So did everyone else." Apo tilted his head to the side to give Mile free access to all his skin.
"So…" Mile pulled back enough to look at him. "You want to be with me?" It was a vulnerable question, Mile's heart wide open.
"Yes. For real. Preferably for a very long time. I want to marry you eventually. Maybe find a way to adopt kids. I want to build a home with you. All that. For now, I just want to wake up in the morning and have the right to kiss you. Is that okay?"
Mile stared at him. "Marry me?"
"Yes, dear."
"No, I mean… Well… Yes… But adopt?"
Apo smiled. "Honestly, the furthest I've ever got in my dreams is you kissing me as Mile… just Mile kissing Apo." He's so fond of this fool. His favorite person. He'd do anything to keep that smile on Mile's face.
"I wouldn't mind, though," Mile said softly. "Kids, marriage, a house with a garden. One day."
"Neither would I, but let's start with breakfast. What do you want to eat tomorrow morning?"
Mile kissed his nose. "Roti canai?"
"Sweet bread? And fresh mango with it?"
Mile licked his lips and Apo knew he'd hit the nail on the head. They understood each other so well.
"I'll go buy it tomorrow. Tonight, I want you to dream of me, our house and little Somchai and Somsak." He pulled a very naked Mile against a very naked Apo and sighed contently.
"So… two boys?"
"I would cry too much with girls. They'd grow up to be emotionally unstable." He was a little bit serious. He'd be equally happy with girls, but those poor things… They'd have to deal with a terribly soft dad. Maybe even two because Mile was a big softy too.
Mile rolled them over so Apo was curled against Mile's warm body. He pulled a sheet over them and then kept playing with Apo's fingers. The touch was absent-minded but so very welcome. "Apo…"
"Yes?"
"Aren't you at least a bit afraid?" Mile sounded uncertain, like he didn't want to disrupt the light feel of their night. "We'll not be treated equally, and we'll always have to explain ourselves. Are you sure you want this?"
Apo strained his neck to look at Mile, at the crease between his brows and the tightness of his lips. "I've seen enough of the world to know a good thing. We stay quiet for a while, then we tell our family and friends, then coworkers. Eventually after years, we'll tell the rest of the world if at that point, they are still interested. Right now, I just want you to myself. I don't want to share you with anyone. So… I'm sure. Absolutely certain."
"Let's make merit tomorrow. For our future."
"You want to make sure we'll be fine?"
Mile kissed the top of his head. "I want to take no chances. You deserve the best and I won't let anything stop you from getting that, not even myself."
"Mile, you are the best I deserve. And I'm really glad you think I'm even remotely acceptable."
The audible intake of breath was so indignant Apo could barely hold back his laughter. "How dare you. Never insult my boyfriend ever again."
"Fiancé."
"What?"
"You proposed to me. I said yes."
Mile choked on a cough.
"Get used to it. I'm moving way too fast for you, old man." Apo kissed the underside of Mile's jaw.
After a moment's pause, Mile took hold of Apo's chin and pulled him into a light kiss, then said, "If you want it to be a proposal, it was a proposal." He sounded so sure. His Mile. Always so serious when the occasion required it.
Apo rubbed Mile's cheek with his own. "Yes, but I want a real one too. No big surprises in stadiums, though. Something small, something you. That'll be just fine."
"Okay, dear. Whatever you want."
Apo beamed. He knew it. Mile would spoil him rotten. He could not wait.