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"Sasha?"
Anne's blood froze when her hand went to her wrist. She brought her finger to her nose. The air couldn't be felt.
She couldn't breathe!
No!
She put her hands together automatically and put them over her heart and started pressing.
Not now. Not after everything, not when she had just realized it. Anne knew she was wrong. She had done it out of fear, then out of selfishness. But in the end, she did it. Every time she did it, she saw blonde's broken fragile eyes. She hadn't said anything. Each time she kept silent. Each time she remained silent, she grew further away from Anne. Anne was overconfident that she was a psychiatrist. She could get over it. Anne had gotten through Amphibia. She could do it too.
Anne had forgotten that she wasn't alone in Amphibia.
Sasha was alone. They weren't in Amphibia anymore. Her father had cut her off. Her mother was already estranged because she made her life hell. Marcy had told her weeks ago that she'd stopped coming. It was obvious what Anne was doing.
Sasha was alone and felt she had no other choice.
When the blonde's face blurred, she blinked and kept moving. The tears wouldn't stop. Her voice was shaking a lot.
"Sasha, please... I–I'm s-sorry. I'm so, so, so..." She gulped and shook her head. "It was selfish, I know. C-childish, even. I admit, I thought I'd be satisfied. A-after everything that happened in Amphibia, I thought I'd be satisfied to act the same way."
I was wrong. So wrong. I never thought about the consequences of change. I thought I'd be relieved to see you in my pain 13 years ago.
She felt pressure on her hand and focused in front of her. Sasha was coughing.
Sasha was alive.
She was vomiting water. She had obviously swallowed it in the sea. Anne brought her to a sitting position and put her back against her bag. Fortunately there were no fractures or dislocations. Anne had been afraid that she had hit her head when she jumped off the cliff, but she seemed to be fine. They were still going to the hospital.
The blonde's ocean blue eyes widened and she looked around in a daze. The usual glow in her irises seemed to have been ripped out. Her clothes were soaked and clinging to her body, which Anne realized was emaciated. The bags under her eyes were as dark purple as eggplants and sagged. Her face was sunken, her blond hair disheveled. Anne was startled when her gaze locked with hers.
"A-anne?"
Her tears began to flow faster. She sounded so unsure. So fragile. So vulnerable. It wasn't like her. Before she knew what was happening, her arms had wrapped themselves around her neck and she held her head against her chest.
She had stopped thinking.
"I'm here." Her voice was hoarse from crying. Her hands trembled as she ran the blonde strands of her hair through her fingers. "I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere."
When she felt wetness in the middle of her chest, she realized that she was crying too.
"You knew I didn't want to. You didn't want it in the first place, right? Then why? Why are you doing this when you know it's a mess and I'm not even worth the—"
Please don't think like that. Please don't hurt yourself. Please, just keep quiet and...
She'd have put it into words if she could. But there was a lump in her throat. So she did the first thing that came to her mind.
She never realized how much she had missed those lips for all these years.
At first she froze. She must've been surprised that Anne was acting so dominantly. But then... she relaxed. And kissed back. Eagerly. Hungrily. Longingly. Her hands found her waist and reflexively pulled her to herself.
Anne questioned her decisions for 2 years. Why on earth had she thought of hurting Sasha, her Sasha? After everything they'd been through? Especially after everything?
Neither of them realized they were making promises to each other when their lips didn't even stop to breathe. But they both knew they would keep.
When they parted, their foreheads met. Sasha's fingers were on Anne's face, gently wiping away the tears. Anne sobbed.
"Sash, I'm so—"
"Don't be." Her eyes didn't leave hers. There was a smile on her lips. "I've deserved this ever since. If you hadn't done it, I would have done it to myself, whether I wanted to or not. I was thinking about it when I was on the cliff. Because somewhere inside me, I've always wanted to punish myself. For everything I've done. For hurting the girl I'd tear down everything if a hair on her head was damaged."
"Sash..."
Anne couldn't speak. She couldn't move. Soon she might not even be able to breathe. She could only utter the name of the woman in front of her. She stayed still as the blonde brought one hand to her lips and kissed each knuckle.
How could she has missed every piece belong to her?
"I... thank you."
"Don't thank me. You deserve all."
"No, I'm not. I hurt you."
"Yeah, you hurt me who hurt you 13 years ago."
"But you're different now, Sash. That's why I was wrong. You've changed so much. Changed and..."
Her hands found her cheeks. One thumb caressed the scar, the other circled the mole. Sasha sighed.
"You have become the person I always wanted in my life and could never leave. You've worked so hard for this. I don't want you to think that what you've done is meaningless to me. Because every bit of it is so precious."
"Anne..."
Their lips met again. This time with pleasure. Sasha's hands roamed around her waist, Anne's fingers dipped into the golden strands. They parted, they joined again. Separated again, united again. After a while, Anne forgot they were on the beach. She even forgot they were outside.
Sasha was with her. Her home. Nothing else mattered.