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People always define the happiness of others from their point of view. They are based on how other people are faring from a “normal” tinted glass, but not all of them are true. Not at all. Contrary to people’s belief, the definition of happiness is made by the ones who experienced them.
As an existence regarded as important since he was created, Cheon Sa-yeon never really feel “happiness.” Everything is a duty for him. The other angel called him a leader and follow his steps all the way, but he only feels emptiness. Angel was created to become God’s most faithful creatures, anyway. It’s not weird at all for him to do his work tirelessly and without any complaint, flawlessly and piously.
But he’s different from other angels.
He’s made of fire.
His core is burning. He always feels something is off. Why him, the one who’s the weirdest of anyone around him, entitled to be the leader of this straight-laced creature? He can feel that he’s always on the verge of bursting out of something. He hates the monotonous movements. The duty. But he’s doing them anyway. It’s not like he has anything else to do in this sacred place.
Ha Tae-heon is suited better as the leader of all angels than him. He’s serious and solemn. He never regarded his duties as a burden and definitely never thought that their daily excursion was meaningless.
“You’re being bold again,” the boring man scowling at Cheon Sa-yeon. “Have you forgotten that we’re made to do this? What do you mean by ‘meaningless’? Without us, the order will be disrupted.” Ha Tae-heon should be used to his coworker’s nonsense at this point, but as expected, his answer is still amusing. Strictly speaking, Ha Tae-heon is also a ‘weird’ existence between the angels. While he’s as obedient, pious, and has unshakable faith as their other kind, he’s not as nonchalant as them when responding to Cheon Sa-yeon’s nonsense either. That’s why the cheeky angel loves to talk to him. At least he got some interesting responses out of him, not blank stares like other angels. Oh, some of them also have interesting personalities, like Park Geon-ho and Min Ah-rin, for example. One is always interested to listen to his ideas and the other one is smiling while threatening him to shut up or just help her nurture the soul tree instead of talking nonsense. But their station is too far from his area of duty, so he harassed the poor Ha Tae-heon’s ears instead. It’s closer.
“But am I wrong? This is so meaningless. Anyone of us can do this job, we’re made to do this. It’s our destiny. We don’t need to learn anything more to do this, but we’re robbed of the satisfaction of ‘learning’. We lacked the stimulation of life.” Like usual, Cheon Sa-yeon blabbering some words that sound horrendous to be said by angels. Ha Tae-heon, who has some immunity built over time, just sighed. One day, this brother of his will be kicked from Heaven, he swore in his heart.
With a frown, the serious angel scolded the smiling bastard, “You need to stop saying that kind of thing. We’re not humans, we don’t need that kind of stimulation in our existence. If you keep acting like this, God won’t keep silent. He doesn’t need any rebellious angel in the midst of His circle. Humans are more than enough being the rebellious kind.” After that, Ha Tae-heon turned around and left. The smile on Cheon Sa-yeon’s lips is getting wider.
“That’s what I want. I want to test how far I can go until the Eminence decided to get rid of me.”
Angel made of fire destined to have the desire, anyway. And it can’t be fulfilled in the blinding white world where everything starts and ends.
It finally happened. The day Cheon Sa-yeon left Heaven.
But contrary to anyone’s deduction, he’s not ‘expelled’, per se. After God decided that he was not to reside in the Heavenly Domain again, the fire-core angel jumped down from the judgment platform and laughed so happily as if he’s not being condemned at all. Aside from God and some ‘interesting’ angels like Ha Tae-heon, the other angels are shocked to see their leader get fired like this. But they soon let it go because it’s their nature to always prioritize duties than personal feelings. Only some of them who regarded Cheon Sa-yeon as a friend and not only the leader feel remorse in their heart.
There goes the annoying flame who always shines brighter than anyone else.
Cheon Sa-yeon adapted to his life as a condemned angel easier than he thought. He’s like the fish who touch water for the first time, swimming swiftly and freely. He liked playing with human nature because he can’t directly control them to do anything. Put some objects here and there then watching their reaction about it is so interesting. Humans are always interesting.
There’s never a dull day of their lives. They laughed and cried, feel happiness and despair. Lived and died with regrets or without regrets. God has written some undisputed rules for them like when will they born and died, but other than that, everything is basically on their hands. Whatever the situation around them, if they have strong enough will, they will mostly succeed, or at most not having any regrets because they have tried.
Cheon Sa-yeon is always jealous of humans.
So, sometimes he disguised himself as a human and mingled between them. Sometimes he’s a beggar, sometimes he’s a noble. Most of the time, he’s a normal citizen who shared the burden and joy of other citizens. He experienced most of the things that human does, except one thing.
Love.
He never moved by any of them, be it woman and man or maybe other pronouns. The ballads often described that the most powerful feeling is the love that consumed your soul, like a burning prairie in the morning. Slowly, quietly, but turned everything into dust.
What a wonderful description.
He also wants to be the fire that burned the beautiful prairie.
It happened suddenly, in the middle of the night.
Oh, it’s not in the dawn or dusk, when the light from the sun hits the earth directly. It’s when the moon at its highest and mirrored in the lake; it’s when Mother Moon blessed a beautiful soul bathed in the midst of Her reflection. Swaying, shimmering.
The night fog, dense darkness
A lost child wounded by brambles
Cheon Sa-yeon is walking to his current abode, the hut in the suburb of the capital, when he heard a soft tune nearby. He stopped and turned his head to the direction where the voice came from.
A mirror of water firm and rusty
It reflects, sometimes, the truth
Unconsciously, the disguised fallen angel walked toward the sound. There’s something in that voice that bewitched him. And logically, no one can bewitch him.
There’s an unexplainable pull, and he’s willing to be dragged by it.
Freedom is loneliness
I turn to the night sky: “Help me!”
One step, two steps, three steps.
And there it is. The source of the pull.
There’s a young man, half-naked, leaning to a big stone in the middle of the lake while the moonlight gently shrouded him. His light-colored hair is a bit damp and the end up the tips swayed in the wind. He sang gently. With every sound coming out of his mouth, his whole body rocked gently to the tunes.
Cheon Sa-yeon never saw something so beautiful in his entire existence. And he literally born in Heaven.
Oh sweet rays in the clouds, my guiding way
Oh Mother Moon. Full moon
From the gist of the lyric, this man is probably a worshipper of the Moon. One of the nearest village’s main beliefs is that the darkest time of the world is blessed by the moon, thus making them worship the moon. Well, when you think about that village where the people are only active at night because the monsters around the village are active during the day, it’s logical for them to have that kind of faith.
A day away, just you, you put us in the light
Ah, you who enlighten everything
To everything you give serenity in equal measure
Cheon Sa-yeon, mesmerized, just stands there and watches the man sings to the moon. Something inside him sparks and burned his soul with a blazing pyre.
‘It turns out I’m the one who gets burned by this feeling.’
So I go back into your womb
Wrapped in the soft light of your belly
And sleep, and dream
Let me be wrapped in your light, Beloved. Let me sleep and dream in your embrace.
Thinking again now, it’s so funny.
After the man, Han Yi-gyeol, found him peeping, he screamed so loud and tried to attack the peeping tom. But who’s Cheon Sa-yeon? He’s been defeated only in three moves, much to his chagrin. When being tied, Yi-gyeol talked with the disguised fallen angel all night before being sent home by that man. And voila! The next morning, his village welcome a new member of the community, the pervert in the lake.
It took a long time for Cheon Sa-yeon to get his beloved heart because he doesn’t want to bewitch the young man. The former Fire Angel always liked challenges. Also, the fruit you get after toiling hard is much sweeter than the ready-bought one.
“Let me hear you sing the song from that time. You haven’t finished singing yet, right?” Asked Cheon Sa-yeon when both of them leaned together on the stone in the middle of the lake. Same moonlight. Same wind.
But now there are two of them bathing in the light.
“You! I haven’t forgiven you for that one! Who else peeping someone bathing and got a gall to tie up the one he peeped aside from perverts?!” Han Yi-gyeol’s face turned red remembering the event that night. His lover just laughed at his outburst without answering and hold him tight instead.
“Sing to me,” the black-haired man whispered to his stiffened lover.
“Please?”
Han Yi-gyeol struggled inwardly for a while before exhaling tiredly. “Okay.”
You are the Moon, pitiable Mother, ah
The fallen angel with blazing soul has fallen from Heaven, people said.
Full moonlight…
But in fact, he falls into heaven.
The End