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It's in the first break of tour that Louis first thinks to himself he may like being pretty.
Liam's got him spread out on the bed, arse high in the air, cheeks hot and red from Liam's hand, and all he can think when Liam speaks is 'pretty, pretty, he says I'm pretty. Pretty little hole, pretty, pretty, pretty'.
"Look at that, all pink and hot from my hand, Lou, so pretty."
It's very mild, compared to how he feels now, in present day, but it still stumps him, because he's a man, he's not supposed to want to feel pretty, as cock-sucking, finger-fucking gay as he is.
The second time, tours back on and Lux is messily painting his nails a 'Lose Your Lingerie' baby pink, singing happily to herself while Louis watches her with wrapt attention.
He keeps the polish on for two days until it starts to chip, and Lux repaints it, this time a 'Breakfast In Bed' baby blue.
Liam asks him why he's kept it, and Louis's answer is simple, unapologetic, easy;
"It makes me feel pretty."
He finds a pair of Lou's knickers in his clean washing a week after the last of the blue nail polish's chipped off, and he doesn't really think before he's pulling the lacy black thing up his legs and tucking his cock into the side, admiring himself in the mirror.
Liam walks in at one point, and he honestly can't care that he's in a pair of ladies undies when he sees him, because he feels pretty.
Liam ends up buying him his own pair of knickers; soft, baby pink lace with a little white bow in the middle and Louis really fucking loves him.
Louis thinks its some sort of feminization kink at first, like he wants to be a good girl for Liam, but he doesn't want to be a girl. He doesn't even really want to be a boy, he just wants to be pretty, more than anything.
It's more of a gradual thing, what comes next. It changes from what he wears and what he does to how he feels and who he is.
He tells Liam one day while he's balls-deep in Louis's arse that he's 'not a good fucking boy. And I'm not a good fucking girl, either. I'm a good fucking Louis'.
Liam, god bless him, takes it in stride, stops using masculine and feminine pronouns, and Louis really, really fucking loves him.
Liam sits Louis down one day, smiles at him, and asks Louis to explain how he's feeling, just to him.
"Sometimes I don't exactly... Feel like a boy, I guess? That's not to say I feel like a girl, it's just... I'm not sure. Like... I can't really explain it. I feel like I'm neither, I guess. Neither a boy nor a girl... Is that bad? Like, is there something wrong with me?"
Liam smiles, shakes his head no and pulls Louis in for a cuddle. "My pretty little Louis."
Louis giggles and preens under the attention.
Liam tells him it's called 'genderqueer' or 'non-binary'. It's being not one gender, nor the other. He's not defined by a gender and its categorised specifics. He is himself and not what anyone else wants him to be.
He starts pretty slow, like he did figuring it out, going out in a a warm and soft, baby pink and cream jumper, cheeks pink, smiling wider and happier than he thinks he has in a long time.
Then it's a kimono jacket he found at ASOS, Aztec patterned with black tassels.
He's started wearing make up outside of the stadiums, just foundation and mascara, a little bit of lip gloss here and there.
He grows out his hair until it curls around his cheeks and the nape of his neck, lets Lou and Lux braid it for shows and interviews, whenever they have the time to.
He wears what he likes, is the thing, even if he likes a pleather skater skirt from Target that barely covers the curve of his arse, or if its a vest from Cotton On in the men's section.
He's feeling better than he's ever felt in years, like he's now actually getting to be him, and he honestly couldn't give two shits what a prick pap says when he's got Liam pressed into his side, tucking his fingers into the hem of his denim shorts, Niall, Harry and Zayn by their sides like bodyguards, Lou and Paul and Josh and Caroline and everyone else that matters standing behind him.
Louis's always Liam's princess, no matter if he's a girl or boy or a damn rabbit, he's always, always the best thing that's ever come into Liam's life and Liam loves him more than air, would stand by him till the day he dies.
(Which he does)