Archive of Our Own

 one.

When his mom first told Eddie about an entire summer in Hawkins with Uncle Wayne, he wasn’t all that excited by the prospect. At the fresh age of six, summer was the epitome of freedom and the small trailer his uncle lived in didn’t shout “fun time” like his parent’s trip to California did. Eddie loved his uncle but the beach his parents were talking about seemed pretty cool. Regardless of his feelings on the matter, Eddie was dropped off in Hawkins the day after school finished for the year, no argument or debate allowed.

After a thorough exploration of his new home for the next couple of months, Eddie was happy to see a TV in the corner with what looked to be a pretty decent stack of tapes to try. They also passed a park not too far from the trailer park on their way into town that Eddie couldn’t wait to check out. By the time his parents left, Eddie didn’t spare them a backwards glance or second thought – despite his initial distaste in the situation, Eddie was sure Wayne’s place for a few weeks wouldn’t be the worst way to pass the time.

That thought was further driven home by Wayne’s effort to entertain Eddie in his free hours between busy work shifts. They went to the park with great swings, the movies that served super fresh popcorn, even the ice cream parlor that had what seemed like a billion flavors. That was his favorite place in town so far – whenever he got the chance, Eddie asked to go to Paul’s Parlor for a double scoop of mint chocolate chip.

One such Tuesday afternoon, Eddie was surprised to see another kid his age there. Until that moment, Eddie was sure that Hawkins didn’t have other kids living in it. The park was always empty when Wayne took him. While Eddie was a professional at playing on his own, the prospect of having a friend had him wandering towards the boy with big brown hair scattered everywhere on his head and eyes the color of leaves changing in the fall. It didn’t hurt either that his shirt was Spider-Man red with the superhero emblazoned across the front.

Not really knowing how to approach, Eddie stayed a few feet behind the boy for a while, watching him with interest as he licked chocolate off of his hand. The cone he was holding was dripping brown streaks down his arms, making Eddie laugh despite himself. The biting technique the boy was using was silly and obviously ineffective. Eddie’s noisy outburst was enough for the boy to turn around with a defensive look on his face. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re supposed to eat ice cream, not wear it,” Eddie said, moving in closer to the boy now that contact had been made. He proved his point by bringing his cone up and swiftly licking around its edge, collecting the ice cream about to drip before it could fall. “I’m Eddie.” He stuck his hand out like Wayne did whenever he bumped into other adults worth his time. Eddie remembered Wayne called it etiquette.

There was a second where the boy stared up at Eddie strangely before a sticky, chocolate covered hand slipped into Eddie’s for a very informal handshake. “Everyone calls me Steve.”

With the ice broken, it was easy for Eddie to sit down beside Steve and strike up a conversation like they’d known each other for forever. They spent a minute talking about Spider-Man before Steve tried to stop his ice cream from dripping again to no avail. Eddie laughed at the scene, shaking his head. “Here, let’s switch. I’ll show you how to eat it without messy hands.” Though Steve looked uncertain, he didn’t hesitate to hand over his sticky cone and take Eddie’s in return.

“I think mint chocolate chip is better than the chocolate,” Steve said as he took a big bite off the top of the cone. His face was now covered in the artificial green of the mint and chocolate from his own dairy delight – in a few years, Eddie was sure he’d find a word to describe the feeling he got in his stomach at the sight. Until then a smile would do.

“The chocolate isn’t bad,” Eddie answered, taking a lick of the new flavor. He got the edges smoothed out with his tongue, stopping the drip Steve was struggling with. Presenting the cone with a flourish, Eddie grinned widely. “See, no dripping.” Steve’s eyes went wide at the sight before they shared a hearty laugh.

For some reason, that small interaction created an easy bond between them. When Wayne found them still talking at the picnic table, Eddie was forced to finish his ice cream up and meet Steve’s parents. His uncle said that if he wanted to be friends with Steve, his parents needed to know Eddie, too. It was weird but Eddie wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to see Steve again. He bragged about a toy collection that Eddie couldn’t wait to get his hands on. Eddie’s parents weren’t the best about buying him things and he’d never seen the Spider-Man action figure – it seemed silly to pass up an opportunity to do so because Wayne was being difficult.

He must’ve passed the parent test because Eddie was invited to Steve’s place a couple of days later. It was a huge house that looked brand new in comparison to Wayne’s trailer. There were two cars out in front, parked neatly in the driveway. Eddie didn’t know to be impressed, not at his young age, but he saw the difference immediately, even recognized it for what it was. For a second, Eddie worried he might not fit in, that his goodwill t-shirt and too big swim trunks weren’t enough for Steve and the big place he called home. Thankfully, Steve pulling him into the house saved Eddie from that psychological crisis. Steve didn’t blink an eye or worry over anything besides Eddie seeing his action figures so they could get into the pool and play for the rest of the day.

They spent the next few weeks going back and forth between Steve’s pool and the large oak tree just off the back of Wayne’s trailer. Unless Wayne couldn’t take Eddie or watch them both, he and Steve were always together. Steve was funny and did the best voices when they played with Eddie’s hand-me-down GI Joes. They weren’t alike at all, but all the differences made their time interesting and fun – so, so fun. Every day together was better than any Eddie spent with anyone else, including his mom and she was Eddie’s favorite person. Except, she wasn’t – not anymore. Steve easily took that spot.

Sitting under their tree one Saturday nearing the end of the summer, Steve turned to Eddie, his eyebrows pinched together in an odd expression. He looked serious enough for Eddie to turn to him fully, giving Steve his complete attention. “Do you think we’ll always be friends?” Steve asked after a while, breaking their easy silence.

Eddie laughed in answer, his shoulders shaking at the absurdity of anyone else meaning more to him than Steve did in that moment. “You’re my best friend, Steve. Nothing is going to change that.” Not the end of the summer or the miles that were going to separate them when Eddie reluctantly went home while Steve stayed in Hawkins without him. And though Eddie knew that for sure, their friendship’s solidity, his brain got stuck on a thought and stayed there long after Steve’s parents came to get him for the night. Would they always be friends? Something in Eddie’s gut said yes but another something said no. Instead of worrying on it, Eddie decided to act, to find a way to make sure Steve never had an excuse not to be Eddie’s best friend.

So, he sweet talked Wayne, asking questions and making up excuses to go on a trip to the candy store for the most important sweet of his life. And though Eddie didn’t understand the look in Wayne’s eyes then, he was happy to have an uncle that didn’t brush him off or discourage Eddie’s crazy little kid ideas.

The next time Eddie saw Steve, he presented the other boy with a cherry ring pop, a smile on his naïve little face all the while. “Wanna get married?” Eddie asked, not understanding anything about what he was doing or how defining the moment actually was. “Wayne says people that get married are usually best friends. If you marry me, there’s no excuse for us not to be friends forever.”

Steve’s eyes were wide as he stared at Eddie. While he wasn’t much of talker, Eddie was surprised that Steve didn’t immediately jump for joy at the idea and shout yes into the void. “Can two boys get married?” his friend asked, instead. He looked a little nervous as the words fell from his mouth, like maybe he heard something different and Eddie’s suggestion was silly or scary or stupid. Eddie didn’t understand the hesitation or the importance of the question, though. Until coming to Hawkins and meeting Steve, Eddie couldn’t recall ever feeling… anything for anyone else. He loved Steve – when the idea of the future not having the boy in it presented itself, Eddie figured that and keeping their friendship preserved was all that was important. And that Steve loved him back, of course. That mattered most.

Eddie barreled ahead with that thought in mind. “Marriage is for best friends, Steve. Who cares if we’re both boys?” He shrugged the whole thing away and thrust the ring pop back in Steve’s direction. “What do you say?” Eddie did his best to give Steve his best puppy dog eyes that were so hard to resist that his friend crumpled under them.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s do it,” Steve finally said, agreeing to Eddie’s harebrained idea without any more hesitation or second thoughts.

They made as big of a deal about the ceremony as a five and six year old could. Eddie stole a couple of Wayne’s ties and the boom box to play some music while they gathered around the oak tree to decorate it with toilet paper and leftover streamers from Eddie’s birthday at the beginning of the summer. Steve helped Eddie loop his tie into a terrible knot he wore proudly around his neck. Steve’s matching look made Eddie feel less silly about it all. By the time the sun was setting, Steve and Eddie were mumbling made up vows that were sealed with a firm handshake and the exchange of candy rings. Despite the desire to do so, neither boy ate the ring pop afterwards. Some things needed to stay sacred, no matter how tasty.

Eddie was especially happy he decided against it when his uncle told him to start packing to head home a couple of weeks later. He never would’ve been able to get the candy into his bag if it was sticky from the spit needed to eat such a thing. The reality of missing Steve was already one Eddie didn’t want to deal with – not having the reminder of their promise to each other was too much for his little heart to bear. The big hug Steve gave him to say goodbye wasn’t going to be enough to tide Eddie over until he came back to Hawkins again, so the tangible memory was nice.

A few days later, as his parents pulled out of the trailer park and turned to head away from Hawkins, Eddie clenched his little hand to squeeze the ring taking up most of his first finger. It was enough of a cue to remember that while the summer was over, Eddie had a friend. A real friend that worried over him, that wanted to know him forever. Until they saw each other again, Eddie could cling to the fact that Steve was waiting for him, missing him in the same sad and impatient way, probably hugging the reality of their promise tight to his chest, too.

Looking down at the ring as Hawkins faded into the distance, Eddie smiled for the first time all day – he finally had something to look forward to.

----

 two.

The next two years were hard on Eddie. No young kid should ever have to watch their mom fall apart under the crushing weight of addiction or see their father crumble to bits the worse Eddie’s mom got. Eddie experienced both in excruciating detail, dealing with the repercussions alongside them both. At eight, Eddie understood the worst parts of life, making it easy to forget the disappointment of not making it back to Hawkins for what felt like a really long time.

Despite how much he wanted to be there, to go back to his happy place in those dark moments, Eddie was sad to know that he was never going to leave again, either. When he got dropped off at Wayne’s this time, it was by the social worker who yanked Eddie from the disaster of his parents’ existence. Wayne was his family now.

It took Eddie a couple of weeks to adjust to the major change in his life before chomping at the bit to see Steve again. That stupid candy ring he still kept protected in a plastic baggy was one of the only things that Eddie had to cling to when the going got hard and life seemed bleak. He clung to the thing with a narrow minded focus, like if he didn’t forget his friend’s promise of forever, the world would keep on turning – no matter how often Eddie’s surroundings told him otherwise. Feeling a bit more collected, Eddie was finally ready to reach out and see if forever grabbed him back.

Wayne’s face lit up when Eddie brought up the idea of seeing Steve again. Eddie liked the wrinkles around Wayne’s eyes when he smiled, so he nodded eagerly when his uncle offered to call the Harrington’s. It was almost like old times as Eddie waited at the kitchen table while the grownups talked – Eddie now understood the meaningless chatter was called small talk and seemingly necessary in every adult interaction. In the moment, all Eddie cared about was getting the chance to see Steve again, adult niceties be damned.

The next day, Eddie got his wish. He packed a bag with swim clothes and that old ring pop; it’d been a while since Eddie hadn’t taken it with him everywhere. He was energetic and overly anxious on the ride over, to the point where Wayne pushed in the KISS tape and let the music soothe Eddie’s nerves. It was a good fix that would follow him into adulthood, though Eddie had no idea of that quite yet. All his brain could focus on was the thought of finally being near Steve again.

Except, things weren’t exactly like they were the last time Eddie spent all of his summer playing by Steve’s side. Upon walking into the house that was still daunting and huge, Eddie was surprised to see two little girls flocking Steve on either side. They both had wide smiles and said “hi Eddie” so sweetly that he immediately wanted to hate them.

That was much easier said than done, however. The blonde girl with short hair was quick to introduce herself as Robin. She was taller than all of them and wore a shirt pretty similar to the one Eddie had on his back. How did Eddie find it in himself to dislike someone so upfront and easy to be around? The other girl with dark hair the same color as Eddie’s was a little more shy. Steve pushed her in Eddie’s direction, smiling encouragingly. As she mumbled her name, Nancy, Eddie understood that there’d be no Steve without accepting the two girls staring at him with hope and excitement in their eyes.

After the tentative bout of jealousy that Eddie had to work through, things for the four of them just sort of fell into place. Robin was a movie buff that watched rated R films with her parents like Eddie did with Wayne. They had so many horror movies to discuss, Eddie was constantly amazed by her movie knowledge. Nancy, while a bit more quiet, had attitude and sass to make up for her timid disposition. She bossed them all around and made up rules from the many books she carried around with her, even when they were playing outside.

Most importantly, Steve was still a beautiful boy that bit his ice cream and missed Eddie almost as much as Eddie missed him. In the rare moments that Eddie got Steve to himself, Eddie learned about all the new things that made Steve an even cooler person than he was a couple of summers ago. Eddie got a run down on Steve’s foray into organized sports, how after summers of swimming for fun, Steve now did it for sport. Did it so well in fact, that he had tons of ribbons and trophies to excitedly show Eddie. And while he wasn’t all that into sports, Eddie listened attentively – after all the chaos with his parents, Eddie was glad to have something normal in his life again. Steve hadn’t forgotten him in all the hazy mess of growing up and changing and finding new friends. At least he still had their promise to cling to.

And wasn’t that something – when Eddie brought up that silly little ceremony Steve ran into his room at a speed Eddie was immediately impressed with. The girls looked at him oddly but Eddie only smiled, keeping quiet until Steve came back into the room with what looked like one of his mom’s Tupperware. His eager fingers flung the lid off to reveal a ring that looked exactly like Eddie’s. Well, maybe a bit more well preserved than Eddie’s. “Do you still have yours?” Steve asked with an adorable little light in his eyes.

Before Eddie could answer, Robin piped in, looking between them curiously. “What are you two even talking about?” Nancy nodded her head at the question, letting Robin speak for her like usual. Neither liked being left out of the loop, though Robin was often louder about it.

Instead of saying anything, Eddie went to his bag and grabbed the plastic bag he kept the ring in. He’d been bringing it with him every time he saw Steve, hoping, and waiting for an opportunity to bring it out and talk about it. Of course, Eddie didn’t account for an audience bigger than Steve, but Robin and Nancy were permanent fixtures now so he didn’t mind them knowing. “They’re wedding rings,” Eddie admitted after pulling his from the bag. “Steve and I had this silly little ceremony before I left a couple of summers ago.”

Steve was quick to cut in with “it wasn’t silly” before Eddie could continue to downgrade those special few moments in time where all was right in the world. “We promised to be best friends forever. I always think about it.” Steve’s face got red as he spoke, making Eddie’s stomach turn in a way that only happened with Steve around. One day, he’d understand the squirmy feeling in his gut. Until then, he leaned into the happiness it brought out in him.

The girls must’ve thought it was a cute idea too, because their awes were perfectly timed, creating a chorus of noise that made the flush on Steve’s cheeks get a little redder. Eddie would’ve been happy to stare at the color for the rest of the day, but Nancy had other ideas. “We can finally play house now that Steve has somebody. When Robin and I pretend we’re married, Steve has to be the lonely man out.”

Robin grinned at Nancy’s idea and took it one step further. “Since we weren’t there the last time you guys got married, we should have another ceremony so Nancy and I can be there to see it and congratulate the happy couple,” she was so excited as she spoke that the words slurred together ever so slightly. Eddie noticed that happened a lot when they were doing something Robin enjoyed. Or when Nancy said or asked her practically anything.

Exchanging a look with Steve, Eddie shrugged, trying to keep the excitement of his reaction tamed under a cool exterior. Throughout all the muck with his parents, Eddie found out that putting on a front was an easy way to protect himself. He figured he was lucky to learn such a lesson so early on in life – pretending that things didn’t matter took practice and Eddie had lots of it. Steve, on the other hand, lit up, nodding his head enthusiastically. With that sort of reaction, how could they do anything else?

Their ceremony was much more thought out this time around. Steve and Eddie were given strict instructions to find nice clothes and real rings to use before the end of the week. Which meant a trip to the video store to peruse the quarter vending machines that Eddie used to collect bouncy balls from. Wayne was happy to take Eddie and Steve to Family Video when he came to grab Eddie at the end of the day. He even gave them each a shiny quarter to use.

After acquiring the most important pieces, Steve and Eddie were in the clear to watch Robin and Nancy color and cut and string things up. When the day came, Eddie was surprised to see the amount of work the girls put into something that wasn’t even real. There were even cookies and juice boxes to celebrate after the fact. The vows they said were still silly and made up but Eddie felt a certain kind of happiness when Steve slipped the cheap ring onto his finger. It didn’t hurt, either, that Steve smiled so big Eddie couldn’t help but grin back. And when Robin pronounced them married, Eddie didn’t think twice about stepping forward and kissing Steve’s cheek.

Between drinking Hi-C and munching on Oreos, Eddie took in the room around him. At the beginning of the summer, Eddie was a sad boy pawned off on an uncle that probably wasn’t prepared for an eight year old to come into his life for good. He was a person out of place clinging to a memory that Eddie wasn’t all that sure meant as much as he chalked it up to. Now, he was surrounded by friends that worked hard to make a fake wedding into something that was admittedly pretty cool. Despite the falsity of it, Eddie enjoyed the thought of having Steve close to him like that again.

That feeling didn’t disappear after that afternoon, either. Nancy was excited to finally have an excuse to have them over at her place where an epic play house took up half of the backyard. Eddie suddenly understood why the game was something the girls liked to play often. Other than the annoying little brother that tried to follow them around while they were there, Eddie enjoyed the game of pretend that made little sense but was fun, nonetheless. He and Steve got a corner of the house to share while Nancy and Robin took the other. They were neighbors, making plans for future remodels (which was a new part for the kitchen that Nancy was hoping to get for her birthday) and block parties (whatever those were).

It was fun and a brief glimpse into what being an adult might look like. While his parents made it look so hard, Eddie saw a different side to things. Even though they were young, all of Eddie’s friends had a keen understanding of things that grownups dealt with on a constant basis. Robin worked too much and Steve wanted to switch careers every other day. The only difference between them and the actual adults was the fact that Eddie and Nancy never gave up on the people constantly changing the rules. Eddie figured out that when he stuck by Steve, the game went so much better. It got him thinking that if that’s all it took, why did so many people struggle?

Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, Eddie just got lucky. When their cheap rings started to turn green from the wear and tear of being reckless children, Steve produced a new set for them to replace the old ones – time and time again. Eddie took to wearing the green rejects on a chain Wayne handed to him one day after watching Eddie fumble to keep them together.

His eyes were sparkling as Eddie told him about how awesome Steve was for always taking care of them. It didn’t make any sense then, but Eddie would come to find that Wayne had been on his and Steve’s side since day one. As a kid, Wayne’s support meant rides to places and extra play time allotted when Eddie asked nicely. He’d remember that kindness later when the world decided Eddie’s love for Steve wasn’t the pure and beautiful thing he always made it out to be.

----

 three.

The peace of childhood stuck around for another handful of blissful years. Despite the fact that Eddie was two grades (and one for Steve) above everyone else, he still managed to stay close with the rest of the gang. Throughout elementary school and for a while when everyone moved to the middle school, they were the four weirdos and Eddie loved every second of it. But with growing up came growing apart, which meant band and academics and sports got in the way of their close knit hangouts and time spent together.

Aside from Eddie, all the others took it in stride. Robin joined the band to be closer to her first ever crush. Vickie was so different from Nancy that Eddie couldn’t make sense of it. He thought for sure they’d end up together like they always talked about when they were little. Nancy took on the burden of being a smart kid – her ability to rule the academic world slowly pulled her away from the friend group that didn’t come close to matching her potential. And Steve, well his sports career boomed the second his growth spurt hit. Suddenly, Steve’s skill was getting him spots on sports teams Eddie hadn’t ever seen the boy play. With the jock status came douchey friends that were so hard to swallow. Especially for Eddie.

In all of the free time Eddie found himself having, metal music and dungeon and dragons became his new obsessions. It was easy to get lost in music that took away thoughts in his head and replaced them with loud guitar and drums that drowned everything else out. Never mind the fact that his own guitar playing got better the more he listened. Eddie picked up DnD when Nancy’s little brother Mike started to play with his friends. He was over at the Wheeler’s house enough to find an interest in the campaigns that Will Byers wrote. After picking up a few guidebooks and learning about the different lore, Eddie was hooked. How could he not appreciate a game that demanded detachment from the real world to exist in an alternate reality? When all his friends weren’t around anymore, Eddie needed something to cling to.

Of course, that statement wasn’t all that fair. Despite Steve turning into one of the mindless popular kids, he tried to keep Eddie in the loop. The divide was just as much on Eddie’s side when all was said and done – it was easier to keep a small distance than have his soul crushed by Steve’s “friends” who didn’t like his metal attitude, weird outfits, or the DnD club Eddie started when he got to the high school. The part of him that understood why Steve let those guys treat him like that got smaller and smaller until Eddie couldn’t take it.

Wayne was the only person to bring it up, and he only did so once. After a quiet dinner where Eddie half assed answers to questions about school, Wayne’s expression turned serious. “I haven’t seen Steve around in a while. Did you two have a fight?”

Eddie forced his body not to react to such a straight forward question. It would’ve been nice for the tension to be simple enough to boil down to a fight. Hell, he and Steve hadn’t even gotten that far, the distance was just growing and Eddie had no idea how to stop it. What words did he use to explain something that didn’t even make sense to him? Sucking in a long breath, Eddie shrugged his shoulders and tried for nonchalance. “He’s got new friends now, Uncle Wayne. I’m – I’m not cool enough for him, anymore.”

Despite trying to keep it in, Eddie’s voice cracked and the tears that were rimming his eyes started to fall. It was stupid, Eddie knew it as each tear fell, yet he couldn’t stop them. Now that the dam was broken, all of the pent up feelings came rushing to the surface, pushing at him to be let out. He cried and mourned for friendships that always seemed impenetrable, for a love that Eddie was sure would only flourish as time went on. Eddie got so caught up in it all that he didn’t notice Wayne moving in close until his uncle’s arms were around him in a bone crushing hug. He was too far gone to do anything but tuck his head into Wayne’s chest and listen to him say “it’ll be okay, kid” over and over again.

The catharsis was nice but not nearly enough.

Certain things weren’t going to change anytime soon, Eddie floated through his days. He skipped class and started to sell drugs to supplement the money Eddie spent buying them to begin with. Weed dulled his senses, making the downward slope a little more tolerable. Before Eddie knew it, he was failing his sophomore year, damned to repeat all the dreaded bull shit all over again.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was the fact that he and Steve were now in the same grade, sharing a multitude of the same classes. It was an odd torture, nodding his head at Steve in recognition without taking the seat next to him to talk about their days. On top of simply missing his friend, Eddie hated the lack of connection – like all those childhood moments made no difference in the long run of things. While Steve might feel that way, Eddie couldn’t. Not when that time was fundamental to his personality and developed wants. Eddie learned what it was like to live again with Steve by his side.

It didn’t get any better as the year progressed. Steve sat back while the likes of Tommy and Jason harassed Eddie for simply existing. Eddie could see Steve trying to pipe up the courage to say something, but he never did. Not when they wrote freak on his locker or when Eddie’s backpack ended up in the toilet, not even when Eddie walked into health class with a fresh black eye shaped like Jason’s fist. It was the worst sort of disappointment that Eddie ever experienced.

Which meant stuff had to get more unpleasant. As the mid semester creeped closer and projects stared to pile up, Eddie was on edge, prepared for anything to come his way. Except, Eddie didn’t ready himself for Steve to pull his name from the hat in health class to tie them together for an assignment that Eddie would’ve been salivating at the mouth to work with Steve on a couple years ago. There were chuckles and heated shouts from the back of the room that the teacher silenced with a shake of her head. Eddie looked at her for some kind of aid, but she nodded in Steve’s direction, silencing the argument before it even got started.

Eddie reluctantly picked up his books and moved to sit next to Steve. The younger boy attempted to shoot him a smile but Eddie ignored him by turning toward the front to listen to the rest of the pairings drawn. He didn’t turn his attention back towards Steve until the assignment explanations were passed out and there was no other option.

“At least we won’t have any trouble with this one,” Steve said, tapping on the word married a couple of times. “All those games of house are going to pay off.” Eddie wanted to turn and shout at Steve about the shitty way he used their seemingly disposable past so easily. Instead, he shot Steve a look that spoke volumes. They stayed silently staring at their own papers for the rest of the class.

Try as he might, Eddie couldn’t keep up the cold shoulder. It felt too good to be around Steve again and despite the way Eddie felt kind of betrayed by the statement, Steve was right when he said they had more than enough practice being fake married. They were up to three times now and this one sort of mattered. Regardless of Steve’s past behavior and prior slights, Eddie didn’t stand a chance when it came to having Steve by his side. He developed a weakness that was hard to overcome.

It wasn’t like the tide shifted all that much, either. Eddie took even more grief now that the entirety of the jock population was calling him a queer on top of all the other shitty stuff they threw his way. Steve, he sat there spotless, never taking the brunt of the hate despite being a part of the only male/male pairing in the class, too. The feeling of devastation started to clear up the fog of being near Steve again. To the point where Eddie finally broke down and came at Steve about it a couple of weeks later.

“Why do you let them treat me that way? We used to be friends, Steve. Best friends.” Eddie’s voice was high pitched and filled with unresolved anger. Steve looked taken aback and then ashamed. The rush of emotions played out across his face, souring his expression as he stared unblinkingly at Eddie.

“You are my friend, Eddie. You’ll always be my friend.” Steve said the words so innocently that Eddie almost believed them. There were too many instances to forget about, though. Eddie deserved more from a friendship.

“That’s bull shit, Steve. I let it go when Robin and Nancy started to go their own way, but you – I expected more from you. You’ve been all I’ve had since we were kids and now those guys, those assholes you share the court with, they mean more than years of friendship.” Eddie’s chest was heaving by the time the last word left his lips. He refused to let himself cry, despite the tears welling up on their own accord. “I deserve a better friend than that, man.”

Eddie didn’t wait around to hear whatever excuse Steve came up with. It took too much out of him to speak the words he already managed to – trying to say anything else that made sense wasn’t possible. Not when every part of him ached from the never ending pain of becoming someone’s second choice.

Determined to stay detached and passive, Eddie was taken aback by Steve who met him unapologetically at his locker the next morning, looking expectant. “You never gave me the chance to talk yesterday,” Steve announced as he stopped Eddie from opening the metal door. “I’m a coward, Eddie. The glamor of popularity was so bright that I didn’t want to chance losing it.” Eddie huffed then, trying to push past Steve. Firm hands on his biceps stopped him, however.

“I picked your name out on purpose, Eds. I wanted a chance to fix things between us before that became impossible. You’re important to me, Eddie – I promise.” Steve didn’t even look to be embarrassed when he said such hard to swallow words. It all made a weird sort of sense now, but Eddie wasn’t sure a move like that was enough to make him forget all the times Steve didn’t try. Despite it all, Eddie wanted to give in, to just forgive Steve so they could go back to being friends. As much as he wanted to carry around the anger, was the grudge worth more time spent on his own?

The bell ringing made it impossible for Eddie to make a clear decision, so he shot Steve a sharp glance. “I can’t deal with this right now. I’ll see you in class later.” Forgetting about his books and depositing his bag in his locker, Eddie quickly turned away from Steve – he was more than certain that Steve’s eyes were big and wide and primed to manipulate Eddie. Knowing already that he was seconds away from giving up and diving in, Eddie needed the space and a clear head to make the right decision. Steve’s stare wasn’t going to help that one bit.

His brain worked hard to process everything throughout the first half of the day and well into lunch. When he looked down at his tray and noticed that nothing was eaten, Eddie gave up the pretense, dumped his untouched food, and headed to health class early. The empty pit of his stomach churned with anxiety and a weird sort of excitement that Eddie wanted so badly to push down. It shouldn’t be such a delight to walk into a class that would soon be full of assholes that constantly gave him grief, but there he was.

Eddie’s skin prickled as he crossed the threshold into Mrs. Vee’s class. Looking up to see what was wrong, Eddie sucked in a large breath of air. Jason and Tommy were sitting at a table in the back, watching the door. The way their eyes lit up, Eddie figured they were waiting for him. As Jason got up a second later, Eddie thought about his options. Running away would only prolong the inevitable, but his ribs couldn’t take another beating. His attempt at hiding the bruises from Wayne almost gave him a heart attack the last time. With a sigh, Eddie shifted his stance to stand more firmly on both feet and braced himself.

“Hey faggot,” Tommy said as he stood up to follow in Jason’s steps. Both boys were slowly boxing Eddie into the corner of the room. They were clever about it, too – though Eddie was just feet from the door, the large wall blocked anyone in the hall from seeing what was going on. Bullies had to have some smarts – how else did they trap their victims so cleverly? Regardless of the fact that Eddie knew he was in a trap, he still kept walking backwards until his back hit the wall.

Not wanting to just put his hands up in front of his face to protect the goods, Eddie did his best to stay strong. It wouldn’t do him any good to wilt like a flower or give them the satisfaction of being right. While he was decidedly gay and the terrible moniker fit him, Eddie refused to be cowered because he just so happened to like other boys. One other boy. Nothing, aside from his work with Steve on the project gave that away, however. If he stood strong, Eddie could proudly limp his bruised up body to the nurse with his head high.

Luckily, the punches that Eddie was expecting never came. Steve Harrington, of all people, came barreling through the door. He looked between Eddie and his so-called friends with wide, almost scared eyes. “What’s going on here, guys?” Steve asked, strategically putting himself between Eddie and Jason as he spoke.

Jason, the dumbass, didn’t realize what was going on. He grinned at Steve before diving into the gritty nature of the beating that was about to take place. Eddie heard himself called a fag and queer and a freak all in the span of two sentences. His chest got tighter and tighter with every second that passed. It was getting harder to decide whether Steve was there to save him or help the boys slowly closing in on him. The effort in which it took not to just run from them all was monumental, though Eddie was glad he put it forth, because Steve’s next move was worth sticking around for.

“You know who else is a fag?” Steve didn’t let anyone answer the question before his fist was connecting with Jason’s cheek. He spat out “I am” with the sort of harshness in his voice that Eddie had only allowed himself to dream about. His heart was pounding double time – as Eddie waited for Tommy to step to Steve or Jason to get back up, Steve’s words processed and he realized what the other boy had just admitted. When no retaliation came, Eddie finally broke free from his spot, grabbed ahold of Steve’s jacket, and yanked him out of the room.

“You’re ballsy, Steve,” Eddie said as he continued to drag Steve along with him until they were out the side door heading for the parking lot. The van that Wayne gave Eddie to refurbish and keep as his own was parked at the far end. Steve’s eyes widened when he saw it.

“Wayne finally gave you his baby?” Steve looked to genuinely be curious about it, so Eddie nodded. Though he didn’t speak, he shot Steve a grin before unlocking his door and pushing the younger boy inside. Eddie climbed into the driver’s seat a moment later. Now that they weren’t in that pressure cooker of a school or seconds away from being expelled for fighting, Eddie could breathe again. The tightness in his chest left, leaving only curiosity and wonder behind.

“Did you just come out to your jock friends?” The question was out of nowhere, breaking the silence in such a way that both boys immediately started to laugh. Eddie gave himself over to it because it’d been so long since he felt good enough to smile, let alone laugh. Never mind the fact that Steve’s laugh was contagious. Out of everything that Steve was self-conscious about, his snorting chuckle was not one of them. It was melodic and hard to ignore. Still, the question remained.

Holding his stomach, Eddie got himself together enough to shoot Steve a meaningful look. The younger boy sighed, then shrugged, his shoulders slumping. “Yeah, yeah I think I did.” Steve fidgeted in his seat before turning to face Eddie completely. “Popularity sucks, Eds. I had to become this person I’m not just to fit in; it’s tiring and I miss you. I miss you and our friendship so much that I just made an absolute fool of myself.”

Eddie sat there dumbfounded, struggling to come up with something to say, but Steve kept going, taking away the necessity. “I really am sorry. I never should have given into the pressure of being something that I hated every second of. It didn’t really hit me until you weren’t in my life anymore. You’re so much more important than any of those assholes.”

There was nothing left to do but lean across the center console and press their lips together, so Eddie did exactly that. He moved slow enough for Steve to stop him or move away, but he didn’t. In fact, Steve shifted a bit more in his seat to better meet Eddie halfway. After a long breath and more than ten years of waiting, Steve was finally giving Eddie his first kiss. As far as those went, Eddie figured the wait had been more than worth it. And though Steve’s outburst cost him his popularity and status, Eddie was happy to say that his new boyfriend was getting something so much better in return.

----

 four.

Their relationship quickly became the talk of the school – those who didn’t even know Eddie were blathering on about him and Steve’s ultimate crash to the bottom of the social pyramid. Eddie was nervous about it at first, totally scared that Steve would spook and go back to treating him like they weren’t absolutely meant to be. Steve surprised him, though; taunts, insults, even the occasional attempt at being him up, Steve took it in stride. Things were easier now that they were together, tackling problems like the couple they were. The rest of their sophomore year was dedicated to Eddie passing and Steve settling into a life that was much more fitting for him.

After a blissful summer where they weren’t ever apart from each other, Eddie stepped into junior year with a lot of hope. It was odd to have so much fire under his skin but Eddie realized it felt good, too. He was focused and ready to get through the next couple of years so that real life could actually start. The warning bells in his head should’ve been going off because of all the good stuff happening to him, though. When the going got good, Eddie’s life was always thrown for a loop.

Except this time, it wasn’t the school bullies or friendly disconnect – that would’ve been too easy. Instead, Eddie and Steve were introduced to a whole new, entirely too scary world existing just below their feet. The only good thing about discovering the existence of monsters was getting Nancy back. Her brother and his friends were balls deep in a fight that Eddie was certain no one could win. They just so happened to bump into her in the library mid research binge – kismet worked in weird ways and while Eddie wasn’t all that excited to be caught in the middle of something supernatural, the joy of finding a friend again outweighed the fright that couldn’t be denied.

Eddie, Steve, and Nancy ended up in the Byers’ house with Jonathan, wielding fire and hastily put together weapons in order to buy everyone else more time. Despite being in a lot of danger, Eddie took notes of the monsters composition and the way it moved between Hawkins and its upside down version. His DnD campaigns were going to flourish if they made it out alive. Thankfully, Steve and his bat did the job (while looking devastatingly sexy). As Eddie slumped down against the wall in relief, a thought occurred to him – now that they knew what they did, would they ever truly escape the darkness?

The real answer to that was no. Aside from collecting a large group of pre-teens, nothing good came from their run in with the Upside Down. Junior year rolled into senior year where Eddie did his best to skate by while constantly looking over his shoulder. It didn’t really surprise him when Will Byers started to lose himself to whatever beast that was controlling the alternate dimension. It became imperative that the world be saved again. While Eddie always thought being a hero would be epic, the truth of the matter was that it was scary and dangerous and so far from a good time that it was laughable.

In the fight to save Will from the Mind Flayer, Steve and Eddie got wrapped up in Dustin Henderson and his so-called pet, Dart. Eddie had no idea how they ended up in the Henderson’s driveway, listening to Dustin speak hastily about a demodog that ate his cat, but they were in it from that point on. Setting aside the fact that babysitting was the actual worst, Eddie appreciated getting to know the younger boy a little better. Henderson’s attitude was entertaining and sharp, hiding the true nerdiness of the kid behind flipped birds and insults that were admittedly pretty damn clever. If they weren’t in such a life or death situation, Eddie would’ve enjoyed the time they spent dropping meat and making themselves into targets.

Surviving that ordeal was enough to propel Eddie towards graduation in a way that made it impossible for him to flounder at the last minute. There was something particularly amazing about watching Steve walk across the stage a few minutes before Eddie did the same. Their joint graduation party at the Harrington place felt a lot like those summer days where being carefree and having freedom were the only things that mattered. Robin showing her face didn’t hurt all that much, either. With both of their girls back, it truly did feel like they were kids again, splashing around in the water and talking about their futures.

The respite from danger was just long enough for Steve to settle into a summer job with Robin at the new Hawkins mall. Despite Eddie not joining them, he spent an inordinate amount of time there, making fun of his friends while secretly waiting for moments where he could drag Steve away to destroy him in the comfort of a bathroom stall. The uniform they were forced to wear shouldn’t have been as devastatingly sexy as it was, but Eddie was practically salivating at the mouth. Steve’s shorts were just short enough to show off the long length of thigh that years of swimming made muscular and shapely. Eddie constantly wanted to sink his teeth into the delicate flesh there. For a bit, it was nice to be regular people who laughed and gave each other grief and enjoyed some normalcy.

The moment they’d been waiting for all summer finally arrived – Eddie was over the moon to welcome Dustin home. Of course, the young boy’s arrival had to go hand in hand with another Upside Down flair up, so everyone’s happiness and enjoyment about the boy being back was overshadowed by Robin’s language talent and sketchy Russian’s up to no good. It was terrifying to think that a secret operation had been going on under their feet for the entirety of the summer months. Eddie was sure then that the government of their small town was much more corrupt than any of its citizens were aware of. Despite that (or maybe because of it), it fell to Eddie and his ragtag group of friends to save the world again.

It was dizzying to be drugged up and watch Steve get beat before him. He and Robin were tied together at just the right angle; they saw absolutely everything. Eddie wanted to shout at him, to demand for his boyfriend to just give the Russian operative the information. Except, they didn’t have anything to help the foreign bastards that thought it was okay to tie up young people. Dustin and Erica Sinclair came in clutch at the best possible moment. Without them, Eddie was certain they wouldn’t have gotten out of there with their sanity and bodies intact.

Most of the following fight was lost in a haze of Russian truth serum and adrenaline. All of the kids he and Steve had come to know as their own were in danger and there wasn’t much anyone but El could do about it. When it all came to an end, Eddie was sure they were finally done tangoing with a world that tried to kill them not once or twice but three times in less than two years. It was devastating to watch the Byers pack up their car and to attend Hop’s funeral – their family crumbling to pieces wasn’t the end goal that Eddie pictured. A small part of him was glad for all the change, though; without the shift, they’d all be stuck living in a nightmare that was seemingly inescapable.

The following few months were absolutely blissful. After the mall shut down, Steve and Robin were out of a job. Eddie found an easy solution to that when Keith asked if he knew anyone looking for work. He didn’t hesitate to say that he and two others would be happy to take up the Family Video mantle. Though Steve wasn’t a movie buff and totally blew the interview, Eddie and Robin’s combined charm got him in the door. The only thing that would’ve made the situation better was Nancy working with them, too. She more than made up for not working there by coming in all the time, though. Eddie was hoping her presence meant Robin’s lingering looks would finally get an answer, but he tried not to wish too hard.

When Eddie wasn’t with Steve or at work, he wrote for Hellfire Club and ran meetings in the cramped kitchen of Wayne’s trailer. While Eddie was never satisfied with the fact that he didn’t get to spend any time in school with his favorite teenagers, he more than made up for it by hosting club nights that were better than anything Eddie might’ve done in the confines of the drama room. It was easier to get to know Lucas and Mike when DnD gave them a common ground. Never mind the fact that Steve was like a magic totem – whenever his boyfriend was around, the kids lit up and gave Eddie so much more of themselves than he ever would’ve gotten on his own.

Eddie should’ve realized that the easy going nature of his life meant bad things were going to happen again, but it was so nice to cling to something good for once. The complacency they were all feeling put them back on their heels when Crissy Cunnigham died and the villain Vecna came into their lives.

Unlike all of their other romps with the Upside Down, Eddie’s gut feeling throughout wasn’t a good one. Never before did they trek into the unknown – understanding that the Upside Down was literally a hellish version of Hawkins was difficult. Everything was much easier to handle when the alternate reality was abstract. Fear didn’t creep in as much without the visual. Now that Eddie had seen it, had fought off the beasts, had almost lost Steve to it, he could no longer deny that the world was a fucked up place that would never quite be the same.

Leading up to the final battle, something inside of Eddie just didn’t sit right. His stomach churned with anxiety and the clear thoughts he usually had in such situations were nowhere to be found. Instead, he found himself clinging to Steve when he had the chance; despite the demobat bites looking badass on Steve’s skin, Eddie wouldn’t ever get over the sight of Steve gasping for air and struggling for his life. That odd feeling of dread only got worse when the final plan was made and the group was forced to split up. Eddie wanted to protect Dustin with everything that he had but the plan had its flaws.

Eddie finally came to terms with what the pit in his stomach meant when the demobats started to close in on him and Dustin and he made the decision to lead them away. There was no protection for him once Eddie climbed out of the trailer doors. Making sure the young boy he thought of as a son was safe meant that Eddie wouldn’t be. Instead of fearing for the end, Eddie gripped the handle bars of the bike he climbed onto and pedaled for his life. He fought hard and was happy to be so very brave when the end started to creep in. It didn’t hurt, either, that Steve was there in his final moments – at least he got to see the man he loved one more time. Too bad they wouldn’t be able to get fake married for the fourth time.

No one was willing to let him collapse on the dirty ground of the Upside Down – between Steve and Robin, Eddie painfully limped to the gate that was very quickly closing them in. Eddie made it through with his consciousness long enough to step away from the mattress landing pad and into Steve’s arms. When those warm and all too familiar muscles squeezed him close, Eddie finally allowed himself to let go. He mumbled an “I love you, Steve” before letting the darkness funnel in and take him over.

Waking up in a hospital however long later didn’t make much sense, but Eddie was groggily happy for it, nonetheless. As the rest of the world came back to him, Eddie noticed that everyone, the entire group that compiled their family and a couple of new additions were gathered around his bed. They all looked to be healthy, despite the bumps and bruises. It was almost too serene of a thing to break up by turning his head to say “hey guys” with a scratchy voice that surprised everyone.

Though Steve was the first one to jump out of his seat, Eddie soon found himself surrounded by his most favorite people. Dustin cried against his neck while Steve held him close and everyone else fought for his attention. The hospital bed he was on groaned under the weight of so many people on it but Eddie didn’t care. He was alive and the world was still spinning. In terms of little victories, those were pretty monumental.

It was hard after that for Eddie to find himself with any alone time – with himself or Steve. Once a family almost lost someone, separating from that person was difficult. Eddie understood that so much that he tried not to be grumpy when the kids wouldn’t leave and all he wanted to do was curl up with Steve. It took a few weeks but the constant demand to have Eddie around started to dwindle. Between going back to school and trying to be normal again, everyone had a lot on their plate. Thankfully, Eddie’s only worry was Steve Harrington and the future he was so ready to start.

Eddie waited until he could easily walk around again before even thinking about going through with his plan. He wanted to be able to get down on one knee and that took quite a bit of healing to make happen. All the while, Steve stood by his side, working hard to help Eddie recover while making it seem like he wasn’t hovering. It was endearing and entirely unnecessary, Eddie liked having Steve around. In fact, he thought the idea of that being permanent was a good one.

A sunny Saturday afternoon had them sitting on the trailer’s front porch, passing a joint back and forth. Though he didn’t sell the stuff the way he used to or pile himself under marijuana’s haze, Eddie enjoyed lighting up with Steve. His boyfriend’s lips would purse as he sucked in the smoke – the view was more than worth the twenty bucks he shelled out every now and again.

The space between them was serene and beautiful and the perfect time for Eddie to pull off his necklace and detach the last green stained ring to survive after many dirty battles and the passing of ten years. His fingers shook as he undid the chain and held the little ring in his hand. By then, Steve was staring at him, the dwindling joint still in his hand. “I can’t believe you still have that,” Steve admitted with a soft smile.

“I kept all of them up until the point where they broke in my hands,” Eddie said back. He returned Steve’s grin with one of his own, wearing it proudly after so much trauma. Being alive was a gift that Eddie didn’t want to fumble. He wanted to enjoy his life to the fullest – hopefully with Steve by his side. Taking in a large breath, Eddie slowly got down out of his chair to kneel on the hardwood of the porch. “Steve – “

He would’ve continued but Steve broke in to steal the show, instead. “I’ll be your husband a million times over, Eddie Munson.” Steve’s eyes were on fire, lit up with so much love that Eddie didn’t care a single bit that the younger boy upstaged him or that they were in a relatively public space with thin walled trailers all around. He was too excited and rocked to the core by Steve’s innate ability to read his mind. Instead of worry or wonder, Eddie had happiness sitting right in front of him.

“The second we can make it legal, I’ll do this again,” Eddie promised as he slipped the shitty little ring on Steve’s pinky. And while it wasn’t a big cheesy ceremony like Robin and Nancy put together for them or a dumb project that forced them into the situation, Eddie was content enough whispering silly words of promise and forever into Steve’s ear. When they kissed to seal the deal, Eddie figured this was his favorite fake marriage of them all.

----

 five.

Regardless of the fact that Steve and Eddie couldn’t legally be married, they acted like it, anyway. Wayne was excited to hear that Eddie and Steve were going to make a home together, that in a year or two, they planned to go to college and work to get real jobs that would set them up with a future that was worth surviving the Upside Down for. When Wayne looked at him with that glint in his eye again, Eddie finally understood what that stare meant all those years ago. Wayne was happy for him. His Uncle had always known that things would turn out this way.

Being an adult was hard – Eddie learned that very quickly after they moved out onto their own and had to struggle to make it all work. Between part-time jobs and classes at the community college, Eddie thought they might not make it. Times between seeing each other got longer and the fun and carefree way of living went out the window. Of course, their teenage children kept them level, making it hard to forget what the fight was really for.

Dustin took to calling them The Munson’s and would chime in with a catty Mr. Munson thrown in Steve’s direction at the most perfect time. It was the little things that reminded them why forever was worth fighting for. Eddie found himself gritting his teeth in desperate hopes of finding success in both his personal endeavors and as Steve’s pseudo husband. It wouldn’t do him any good to give up on a lifelong dream when it was finally in his clutches.

He reminded himself frequently that surviving the Upside Down was the hardest thing that Eddie would have to go through. Navigating adulthood and relationships was easy in comparison to Vecna and a hive mind that thought two steps ahead. The resounding Mr. Munson’s were something Eddie wanted to hear for the rest of his life, so he fought on.

It all became worth it as he and Steve settled into their big kid jobs. Eddie initially laughed at the idea of going to school to be a teacher – he always hated school. The more he thought about it, though, the more it made sense. The kids that weren’t kids anymore were so important to him; Eddie spent a good portion of his early 20’s taking care of them, making sure they got exactly what they wanted from life. In the long run, wasn’t that what being a teacher was all about? Steve deciding to do the same thing didn’t hurt much, either. They got to start and end the day in the same car after a long school day. Eddie was certain there wasn’t much that could beat that.

Things were so good that Eddie was taken aback by Wayne’s confession at their most recent weekly dinner. Eddie had no idea that sitting down to Steve’s pork chops would be such a life changing endeavor and yet –

Wayne waited until they were sipping on coffee to break the news. He glanced between them with such a look of love on his face that Eddie wanted to crawl across the table and pull him into a hug. Instead, he relaxed back into his chair, looking at his Uncle in curiosity. “What are you mulling on over there, Wayne? You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” Usually, the older man was all over telling stories and asking about the kids. That night, he just kept on staring at Eddie and Steve, like he was trying hard to memorize them, or something.

“I’m not sure how to tell you boys this,” Wayne started, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on the table, “but I’ve got cancer. The bad kind.” His fingers were neatly knit together but Eddie could see the way Wayne was squeezing them. Eddie knew the man he thought of as a father was devastated to be delivering such a terrible reality shift. Probably not even for himself, either. Over the years, Steve and Eddie had come to mean so much to him. It hurt him, breaking news to them like this.

Eddie choked back the tears that wanted to spill down his cheeks. He gripped onto his control with an iron fist to ask the right questions and get the information that was needed to make next moves and help Wayne the best he could. Halfway through Wayne’s explanation of the stage four lung cancer that was quickly eating him alive, Steve’s hand slipped into his. They’d traded up from vending machine rings and Eddie was immediately comforted by the cool touch of cold metal on his skin. It kept him grounded in one of the saddest moments of his life.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, however. As they walked Wayne to his car and tried not to watch him with reverence, the old man turned to them with a smile. “I think I’d like to watch you boys get married before I pass. You think we could make that happen?” Without missing a beat, both Eddie and Steve nodded eagerly – despite gay marriage still not being legal, Eddie already dreamed up the perfect wedding that he didn’t want Wayne to miss. And though he wanted to wait to have it when it actually meant something, Eddie couldn’t deny his old man anything.

After everyone processed the news, wedding planning was attacked with a vigor. Dustin and Suzy, who were finally back in town after brief stints at Stanford, offered to decorate and handle the logistics. El and Max, who surprised everyone by getting together their senior year, ran a small catering service – they took up menu planning before Eddie could ask them to. Lucas and his wife Layla snatched up the rest of the work, leaving the original four to put together outfits and take care of Wayne.

It didn’t take much thought at all for Eddie to request a sabbatical from teaching in order to be there for Wayne each step of the way. Thinking about not spending every second he could with his uncle made Eddie want to be sick. When Steve could swing it, he joined them, too, but it was usually just Eddie herding Wayne from appointment to appointment. As things got worse and Wayne began to decline at an alarming rate, Eddie moved Wayne into their spare room. For a little while, the house was filled with laughter and love and the sort of fatherly connection that Eddie wasn’t ready to give up. While it was painful to watch him waste away, Eddie clung to those precious moments.

They decided to push the ceremony up so Wayne could actually walk Eddie down the aisle. Like the close knit group they were, everyone came together to make it happen. As the day arrived, Eddie leaned into the comfort of being around family, because that’s what they were, a family. No one else would’ve dropped their lives to throw together a little backyard wedding, especially one that wasn’t legal or important to anyone but the people involved. Through all the sadness, it was nice to look up and see signs of the good parts of life staring back at him.

Standing at the start of the aisle in black suit pants and a white button down covered up by a fitted black vest, Eddie smiled. Wayne’s arm was tucked into the crook of his elbow and for once, his uncle actually looked well. The sickness that surrounded him took the day off, leaving Wayne wide eyed and gleaming. Eddie had to stop himself from crying time and time again as he took the old man in. He looked good in the charcoal grey suit he wore to match Steve. It shouldn’t have been so gut wrenching, but it was. The view of him just drove home how key the day was. Until that moment, Eddie didn’t realize how much he wanted Wayne to be the one to give him away to Steve – the man had been there for them since day one, the very least they could do was make sure he got to see and taste and experience the fruits of his labor.

Their trek down the aisle was slow and concentrated. Wayne was wobbly at best and Eddie wanted to soak in the moments. The way everyone was staring at them told Eddie all his friends were trying to do the same. It was funny how much Wayne meant to everyone. Though they all had their own parents, even surrogate ones in Eddie and Steve, Wayne was this families patriarch. Throughout the years of heartache and triumph and growing up, Wayne stood by all of their sides, not so silently rooting them on. When it happened, his absence would be so very keenly felt.

Eddie was quick to hug Wayne tightly when they finally arrived at Steve’s side. He took that shaky body into his arms and held on until tears Eddie wanted to hold back started to fall. Steve did the same when Wayne did the typical father thing and put Eddie’s hand in his. It was hard not to when Wayne said “you keep taking care of my boy.” No one missed the way he looked back and forth between Steve and Eddie as he spoke. Even Dustin was teary eyed – he’d gotten ordained for the occasion, so he was standing front row for all of the emotional proceedings.

As they exchanged their vows and slipped on rings that had already made indents on each of their fingers, Eddie took little peaks over at Wayne. His uncle was beaming with the sort of pride that not everyone got to know or feel or have projected their way. The large smile on his face didn’t falter – not when they moved in close and kissed, not when Eddie and Steve helped him out of his chair, not even when Dustin gave a raucous speech about all the stupid shit the group got into throughout the years. Most especially not when Eddie sat down beside him and said “I love you, dad.”

The look Wayne gave him in that moment would forever be engrained in Eddie’s mind.

A few weeks later, after the funeral and all of the bull shit services that went with it, Eddie sat down in his uncle’s chair and thought about that smile. He cried to the thought of never getting to see it radiating his way again. It was bittersweet to think about Wayne’s last best day because he went down so quickly after it. Eddie tried to cling to that fact as sadness and depression tried to take him under.

Steve, the absolute best husband that wasn’t a husband in the world, was his rock throughout it all. Where other spouses would’ve taken Eddie’s shoulders and tried to shake him out of the gloom, Steve sat by Eddie and shared his tears. He let Eddie tell stories they both already knew about a man that was a true father to them both. In the darkest times, Steve gave Eddie something to hang onto. So many times Eddie thought his sadness would take him under, yet each one, Steve held him tight and brought him back from the apex of the storm.

After a particularly hard couple of days, Eddie came home from an afternoon with Robin to find an eager Steve sitting at their dining room table. His eyes got wide at the sight of Eddie and Steve was out of his chair before Eddie could even utter a word. “I’ve got something to show you,” Steve said as he grabbed Eddie’s shoulders to guide him through the house. A couple of steps before they walked into the living room, Steve’s hands moved from Eddie’s shoulders to cover his eyes.

“Steve, what – “ Eddie asked, though there was no mirth in his voice. The small parts of him that were starting to be okay again were glowing with excitement. It’d been a long time since Eddie had something to be happy about.

The other man didn’t bother answering; instead, he dropped his hands and stepped back. It took Eddie a moment to understand what he was seeing. On the wall before him were printed photos of their wedding with a smiling Wayne in every one of them. Eddie’s eyes roamed them one by one, taking in the sight of Wayne’s face when they said ‘I do’, when he and Eddie danced together, when he and Steve toasted a beer. He had to stop when he got to the last one – Jonathan managed to capture the moment Eddie called Wayne dad for the first time. There were tears in both of their eyes, the happiest sort. It was the look on Wayne’s face that finally broke the damn Eddie had been trying to keep sealed up tight. It was the same look Eddie forced himself to remember right there before him, forever captured on film.

“Oh, Steve – “ Eddie cried, running into the waiting circle of his arms. Ducking his head into the crook of Steve’s neck, Eddie bawled for the millionth time since Wayne left them, except this time, the tears weren’t or sadness or devastation. For the first time in a while, Eddie cried with hope in his heart.

With a man like Steve by his side, Eddie never had to worry about forgetting Wayne and his love. They had the tangible memories of their fifth fake marriage to cling to.

----

 (+ one).

For years, Eddie watched the news, waiting for the moment he finally got to marry Steve for real. After Massachusetts signed same-sex marriage into law in November of 2003, Eddie started planning. By March of 2004, everything was in place for quick nuptials at a small bed and breakfast just shy of Boston. The only thing that was left to do was actually ask Steve. Properly and with a ring that his partner had no idea about. Looking down at the one Eddie wore now, he grinned at the thought of replacing it with one given to him during a real and legal ceremony.

Swearing Nancy and Robin to secrecy, Eddie got the two in on it pretty early on. It only made sense that the two girls who colored ‘just married’ on white printer paper when they were young be there when they tied the knot for real. Following a conversation with the official that was going to be doing the ceremony, they needed witnesses to stand up for them, anyway. Eddie secretly hoped Robin watching him and Steve take that step would finally get her to give Nancy the ring she’d been holding onto for a couple of years. He knew that Nancy was waiting impatiently for it and Eddie wanted to see his friends happy.

The day before Eddie planned to throw Steve in the car and drive to Massachusetts, Eddie picked up their rings from the jeweler – he’d gotten them etched with “between the shadow and the soul”, Steve’s favorite line from his very favorite poem. Eddie planned to read that sonnet to him the next day. For the rest of the afternoon, the ring box burnt a hole in Eddie’s pocket. He tried not to let it show but Steve picked up on it when they sat down to dinner that night.

“Everything okay, Eds?” Steve asked as he passed the salad bowl in Eddie’s direction. Now that they were pushing forty, health and wellness in the form of green shit was suddenly important. Eddie ate it because Steve wanted him to but he never got around to liking it. Taking the bowl anyway, Eddie smiled, easily nodding his head.

“Perfect, actually,” Eddie replied, scooping a few pieces of lettuce onto his plate. At the look Steve shot him, Eddie added a few more. Despite the push back Eddie gave, he was glad to have someone who loved him enough to take care of him so annoyingly well. That was why Eddie wanted to marry him – despite being together for almost twenty years already, Eddie wanted the world to know that they planned to take care of each other for the rest of their lives. All the important people already knew, but selfishly, Eddie didn’t want to stop there.

The decision to wait to propose until after dinner was a sweet torture. He tried to pay attention to Steve as he talked about his junior English class’ journey into the world of Jane Austen and tried to reciprocate with news about the band’s progress. It got easier to be genuine in the conversation when Steve asked about Robin’s attempt at changing the march right before competition season. By the time they were sipping scotch in the living room, Eddie’s nerves were gone, replaced completely by exhilaration, instead.

Throwing back the last of what was in his glass, Eddie turned to Steve, a wide smile on his face. There was a look of recognition in Steve’s eyes, but he let Eddie hit his knee without saying a word. Eddie reached forward to grab Steve’s left hand, slowly peeling his old ring off. “I told you all that time ago that I’d ask you to marry me again when it became legal for us, so here I am.” His voice was shaky despite being so confident in what he was saying. Maybe it was the way Steve was looking at him that made him shiver. “Our life together is everything I’ve ever wanted, Steve. A ring on your finger hasn’t changed that but fuck I want to see this one on your finger so badly.” Popping the ring box open, Eddie pushed it in Steve’s direction. “Will you marry me? For real this time.”

Reverent fingers wrapped around the white gold ring sitting in that black box. Steve took it in, rotating it in his grip. Eddie knew the second that Steve realized what was inside, those hazel eyes widened in the way they always did when Eddie made him happy. “I love you like one does obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul,” Steve said, speaking from memory. There were tears in his eyes when he caught Eddie’s glance again. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

Steve didn’t let Eddie slide the ring on before they were kissing. Even after so many years, Steve’s lips pressing against his own never stopped taking his breath away. There was something different in this kiss, though – Eddie felt in the way that Steve held him tightly, in the heady push of their bodies against each other. He had no idea how Steve’s touch could still surprise him after so many years, but it did and Eddie absolutely loved him for it.

Eddie made sure they didn’t get carried away, despite the itch to do exactly that. If they were going to make it to Massachusetts in time, getting in the car and on the road was necessary. It was hard to pull away but Eddie made up for it by slipping the ring down Steve’s finger. The shine of it was distracting the entire drive, catching Eddie’s attention out of the corner of his eye as they passed under every streetlight on their way.

The girls were there to greet them when Eddie finally pulled into the bed and breakfast. It felt like all those years ago when they stood there waiting for Eddie and Steve to walk down the little path between Steve’s house and the pool on their way to the makeshift altar. Only this time, they’d seal the deal with signatures on a legal document instead of with cheek kisses and Hi-C fruit punch. It was the feeling of coming full circle that made Eddie jump out of the car and pull them both into a tight hug. Steve joined them a second later, yanking his three favorite people in to squeeze them tight.

A few hours later, after Steve cried as Eddie read the Pablo Neruda sonnet and they said cheesy vows sealed with a kiss, the newlyweds shared a couple of bottles of wine with Robin and Nancy, who congratulated them time and time again. Eddie didn’t fail to see the shiny engagement ring on Nancy’s finger but kept quiet about it. His friends deserved the same kind of happiness he and Steve had – at their own pace. Dinner and dancing and the sharing of stories capped off one of the best nights of Eddie’s life.

Of course, the real celebration didn’t start until Robin and Nancy were tucked away in their own room, leaving Eddie the space and privacy to finally push Steve onto the springy mattress and ravish him silly. As he slowly undid each of Steve’s buttons, Eddie kissed the length of his neck, up, up, up until the shell of Steve’s ear was under eager lips. “Do you know what the best part about being married is?” Eddie asked, whispering the words in Steve’s ear.

Steve moaned, long and loud before shaking his head. “No, I’m sure you’ll tell me, though.” His voice was breathy and somewhat scratchy already. Eddie chuckled from his place against Steve’s jaw, his own breath ghosting in his face. He lavished the skin there with a few more licks and nips, then pulled away.

Smirking down at the man below him, Eddie said “husband sex, of course.” His grin turned wolfish as Steve bucked up against him, groaning again. “We’ve been fake married for so long, I wonder if the real thing is going to be any different.” He was babbling through the nerves that suddenly struck him. His husband looked up with so much love in his eyes that Eddie wanted to make every single second good, better than ever before, even. That was a lot of pressure after years of happily taking each other apart.

Eddie shook his head of the thought, brushing everything else aside to focus on Steve’s naked skin pebbling with goosebumps under his touch. One by one, pieces of the clothes they wore hit the floor until Eddie was tucked into the familiar vee of Steve’s naked thighs. Usually tan skin was flushed with arousal, painting it the color red that Eddie loved to trace with his tongue. The years were great to Steve, keeping him lean and long. All the scars from their time in the Upside Down were all but faded, giving way to thick chest hair that seemed to get more dense by the day. Groaning at the beautiful nature of that thought, Eddie dug his hands into the dark mat covering muscled pecs and a trim stomach. He followed the line of it down, down, down until his greedy fingers wrapped lightly around Steve’s length.

Between kisses and thrusting hips, Eddie got Steve worked up to the point where he was leaking pre-cum and begging. Eddie always loved the moments where Steve gave up control and let his body do the talking. It was glorious and somehow even better now that Steve’s ring shone each time he reached up to grab at his own hair or clench his fingers around the headboard. Despite seeing a similar sight for a long time, Eddie knew it was real now. And his libido did, too.

In a not so normal move, Eddie coated the fingers of his left hand with lube – despite being completely right hand dominant, he wanted to watch his own ring shine in the light as Eddie worked his husband open. The move was odd for a couple of moments before Eddie adjusted and got used to the feeling of Steve’s tightness around him. Years of prep made it easy for Eddie to start with two fingers and quickly change to three. Steve told him often that the gentle touch wasn’t necessary, but Eddie enjoyed it all the same. The build up towards finally slipping inside never stopped being great for Eddie – why fix something that wasn’t broken?

There was absolutely nothing like pushing into Steve for the first time. Long legs wrapped around Eddie’s hips, helping to suck his cock in a little deeper. Steve didn’t let him stop his thrust until they were completely joined. Only then did Eddie come up for a little air. “Fuck, I love you, Steve,” Eddie muttered as he tucked himself into the circle of Steve’s arms and kissed him senseless. Steve answered with tongue and teeth and a precariously cheeky squeeze around Eddie’s eager cock. They didn’t need words anymore to get that point across.

Time from that moment on seemed to stand still. When Eddie felt Steve start to relax around him, he rolled his hips, shifting a bit on his forearms to pull back enough to thrust forward ever so slightly. True to his impatient ways, Steve lifted his hips to meet Eddie thrust for thrust. There wasn’t a second where Eddie was fucking Steve and Steve was lying back into the sheets just taking it. Moving in tandem meant pushing when the other pulled and reacting to sounds and bodily cues only lovers of many years could pick up on. Eddie was wrong earlier, calling anything that was going to happen between them sex. They were making the sweetest love, sharing sweat, breathing in tandem, welcoming in their forever.

When Steve fell apart in his arms, Eddie kissed his own name from Steve’s lips before following him right over the edge. The orgasm that swept through him creeped up his veins like fire and ice, dual sensations that combined and manifested in an out of body feeling. Slumping down into Steve’s hold, Eddie didn’t know up from down – the world was blown to pieces, narrowed to him and Steve and the delicious tangle of bodies that were so familiar with each other that Eddie naturally filled in Steve’s empty spaces, making him whole.

It was quiet and serene for a while – neither man was young anymore and good sex like that took a lot out of them. Eddie was sure, even, that Steve was asleep when his hand came out of nowhere to grab Eddie’s. Steve laced their left hands together, settling their fingers so that both white gold rings rested against each other. The sight was hard to look away from, so neither did.

Eddie loved Steve his entire life and now, after signing papers and making it official, he got to keep on doing exactly that for the rest of it.