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They met in the woods, in the middle of the night.
Youngho had heard all about the family coming to stay with them. They were from the kingdom bordering his, the rightful heirs to the throne that’s been taken away from them. They came to form an alliance with Youngho’s family, to earn their trust and negotiate assistance in getting their throne back. A mission that would never succeed.
The official meeting was supposed to happen in the morning, not during Youngho’s usual midnight stroll around the property.
They bumped into each other, quite literally. That’s when Youngho’s life changed. He saw beauty like he’d never seen before.
“My apologies,” Youngho said.
“It is me to blame,” he responded.
“It is not,” Youngho insisted, wanting to make the stranger comfortable so he could get his name. “I am Youngho.”
The stranger bowed his head.
“Your Highness,” he said. “I am Kun.”
Kun. The name of the youngest prince, Youngho was told mere hours before.
“Your Highness,” he greeted him back.
The prince looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time. As soon as he saw them, sparkling in the moonlight, Youngho suddenly felt more nervous than he’s ever felt before.
It was unexplainable. It was an immediate connection and appreciation of the prince’s beauty. It was an onslaught of fondness and attraction.
Youngho finally found out what that mysterious love at first sight he had read about in the library was. He didn’t believe it in the past. Now he knew it was true.
“I apologize for interrupting your walk.”
“You should not apologize. It is far from an interruption,” Youngho said, his voice shaking with excitement and unexplainable emotion. “Would you like to join me?” he suggested, afraid of what his heart might do if he lets the prince go without extending an invitation.
“I am afraid my sister is waiting for me. Maybe some other night.”
“Tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow,” Prince Kun promised.
Youngho would quickly learn that the prince is a man of his word.
“Yo,” Jaehyun’s voice captures Johnny’s attention.
He looks up from his phone to see Jaehyun standing over him, hovering and waiting for Johnny to speak. Johnny’s not sure what he’s supposed to say.
“What?” he asks.
“Did you hear anything of what I just said?”
The honest answer would be no. He didn’t. His mind was preoccupied with texting his parents about how things are back home. It’s nice to have a chat with them about serious things every once in a while, getting to pick their brain and see if they’re all still on the same page. His favorite activity to partake in before practice or before exercising, so he can work through whatever energy he leaves the conversation with.
“Something about Dejun again, I think,” he guesses. It’s a pretty safe guess. Jaehyun’s been completely invested in his relationship since it started a few months ago to the point where he gets a little annoying to listen to. Johnny’s happy for him, he really is, but he can hear about how cute and also how hot he is so many times.
“Yeah, so,” Jaehyun says, eager to retell whatever he just said and tell Johnny the news. “He’s gonna go visit his family for a while and I’m gonna take care of Bella while he’s gone.”
Jeong Jaehyun. Taking care of Bella. Is he out of his mind? He can barely take care of himself.
“You know nothing about dogs. How are you gonna take care of a dog?”
Jaehyun shrugs, missing Johnny’s point completely. “It’s just Bella.”
“Bella is a dog. She’s your boyfriend’s precious princess,” he points it out. If something — if anything — happens to Bella, it’s over for Jaehyun. And Johnny loves him, he’s his best friend, but Jaehyun can be a huge dummy. He’s not responsible enough for this stunt. “Can’t the others take care of Bella?”
“They’re all gonna go visit their families for a while too.”
Oh? Good for them all, they deserve it. But what about the other pets, then?
“Will you take care of the cats too?”
“No,” he shakes his head, confused by the question. “Why can’t you be excited for me? Taeil is excited for me,” Jaehyun says, gesturing behind him. Johnny leans to the side and takes a look at Taeil who’s chatting with Doyoung and Haechan. He’s not smiling, he’s not really any more excited or happy than he usually is. Johnny has no idea what Jaehyun’s seeing. And even if he was right, which he isn’t, Taeil wouldn’t be excited for him exactly.
“Taeil is excited because he’ll have a dog in the dorm. He’s been thinking of getting one for months now.”
“Still,” Jaehyun says, seconding it with a shrug. He’s so innocent with his motivation and so dumb for not stressing over it.
“I hope you don’t fuck this up,” Johnny finds himself saying outloud. He should not have done that, he realizes as soon as he says it and Jaehyun’s slight smirk turns into a frown. Oh no. Jaehyun frowns are the worst.
“Thank you for the boost of confidence, I needed it,” he tells him, words dripping in sarcasm. He turns around, preparing to walk away, but he turns back again. “I came to ask you for a favor, by the way. Now I don’t know who to ask for help since my best friend is doubting that I can do something for my boyfriend.”
He’s not doubting that he can do it. Anyone can look after a dog. He’s doubting that he can do it properly. And Bella isn’t any dog, it’s the most important dog in Jaehyun’s life.
“What is it?” Johnny asks, only to be met with silence. He doesn’t want Jaehyun to be mad at him, he’s ready to do whatever he needs. Even if it’s hiding a body. Anything to get that frown back into Jaehyun’s signature pained poker face. “Come on,” he urges.
“Can you come with me to pick Bella up?”
That? They can do that a million times if Jaehyun wants to.
“Sure. Of course,” he responds. “That’s the least I can do after insulting you.”
“Yeah. I was gonna guilt you into doing it anyway.”
Johnny’s trying to be helpful. He’s fixated on it, seeing it as a way to redeem himself for his comments. So when Xiaojun mentions that they need to get some stuff from downstairs too, from Kun and Yangyang’s place, he volunteers.
Besides, he needs a break from the loving glances, tension and Jaehyun’s dramatic mopiness. He doesn’t get it. It’s not like Xiaojun is not going to return, he’ll be back in a few weeks. It’s not the end of the world.
He knocks a few times, expecting to see Yangyang once the door opens. It’s always been Yangyang that gets the door whenever Johnny stops by. He’s had to visit a handful of times in the past year, especially after Ten went to China. He likes to send some gifts for his members, and also for Johnny who comes to pick his up. It’s always pleasant to chat with Yangyang.
Today, Johnny doesn’t get to see him and chat. Today Kun’s the one to open the door.
Kun’s cool. He’s great. He’s not chatty like Yangyang, though.
It’s not like he and Kun have never spoken. They have, on multiple occasions in fact, but it’s always been… weird. They’ve mostly stuck to formalities and pleasantries, but it has always felt like it’s bigger than what it is. Like it’s too much and not enough at the same time.
At least it’s been that way for Johnny. He can’t say the same for Kun because he hasn’t asked since that would require more talking than their usual amount and going into a risky subject. How does one bring that up anyway?
Hey Kun? Do you feel weird around me like I feel around you? It sounds crazy enough in his head, saying it out loud could probably send him to the principal’s office for a chat about how things are at home.
No. He’ll stick to pleasantries. Those have been working perfectly for them so far.
“Hey,” he greets Kun who looks very surprised to see him. He doesn’t let any time pass before he says what he’s there for as the awkward feeling returns in his body the moment he sees him. “Xiaojun said Bella’s leashes are here?”
“Uh. Yeah,” Kun responds softly. He partially shuts the door, something Johnny knows they do for the safety of the cats, and reappears with a fabric organizer box. He lifts up the lid to the box to uncover a fairly organized selection of dog leashes and collars. Johnny has admired Kun’s ability to keep things under control since he met him. Even when the other members make it difficult, he’s managed to get things in order so it’s easier for everyone. This is just another example of all the things Kun is capable of that Johnny wouldn’t even try doing. Kun has energy for things Johnny cannot even comprehend.
“How many do you think you need?” Kun then asks, snapping him back to reality.
“I have no idea. How many do you recommend?”
Kun tilts his head, looking down at the box and giving it some thought.
“These three are more sturdy and secure, she likes to pull sometimes,” he then says, and hands the leashes to Johnny as he picks them one by one. “I think those should be enough.”
“Yes, I agree,” Johnny responds. His hands are full, but he can make it back upstairs easily. He takes a step back, mentally preparing himself for the lovebirds and their PDA. “Thanks, Kun. Have a good day.”
“You too,” Kun quickly returns.
Johnny walks away. Kun walks in and closes the door behind himself.
The awkward feeling ends.
“Your Highness,” his guard whispered, "You might get caught. His Majesty will lock you in your chambers."
Youngho knew the statement should scare him. He should’ve been terrified of what his father might say to him and do to him when he heard that he sneaked out in the middle of the night, but he didn't care at that moment. It was Kun’s final night in the manner before he headed south for the summer. He needed to see him.
"Then this shall be my last hoorah,” Youngho responded.
"Your Highness,” the guard hissed a warning, but Youngho was determined.
“I shall return before dawn,” he promised.
Their usual meeting spot was in the woods, halfway between the castle and the property the Qian’s were staying at. The place where they first met. It had been months since that night and they had spent every possible night together. Youngho knew the way by heart.
Kun was late that night and Youngho was growing more nervous with every passing moment, afraid that Kun wouldn’t show up.
He was relieved when Kun showed up, his body filling up with warm glee at the sight of him.
“My love,” he whispered the greeting, a name sacred for them.
“Love,” Kun replied.
Peace returned to Youngho’s thoughts in Kun’s presence. Between the duties and politics, they found time and made the effort to understand each other. To sympathize and help each other. To indulge in what small freedom they had.
As Youngho learned more of Kun and his heart grew fonder, he also realized that, to him, Kun was all that was good in the world. All that was beautiful in it.
When Kun confessed to reciprocating his feelings, it felt as though it was fate. But it was also the beginning of an ending that neither of them expected.
The newest addition to the list of people who think Jaehyun is kinda dumb is Bella. She looks at him with fear in her big, beautiful eyes as he sing-songs, “Bella is a perfect princess, she can do no wrong. No! She can do no wrong.” They’ve yet to arrive at their dorms, but she’s doubting her safety already and cooking up plans.
It sounds silly and everyone in the car knows that it’s not true. Everyone in the world probably knows it’s not true. Xiaojun had advertised her peeing on the carpet to everyone, despite both the act and filming it being an accident. The curse of live streams gets them all.
The night is fairly peaceful. Johnny goes to bed early and hears scratches on his door in the middle of the night, but he also hears Jaehyun’s voice, softly ushering Bella away from Johnny’s door. Johnny goes back to sleep, proud of Jaehyun for handling it so well.
In the morning, not so much. Johnny and everyone else in the dorm get a rude awakening in the form of Jaehyun calling after Bella. He hears it many times in a row, noticing the panic in Jaehyun’s voice despite him trying to not be loud.
That’s when he hears an exhale, a short and sharp one. It gets Johnny’s attention as it sounds like it’s coming from his room. He opens his eyes and looks around, and lo and behold, the culprit is there, lying next to his feet.
“Good morning,” Johnny says to Bella who lifts her head, tilts it to one side and innocently blinks at him. She’s already making Jaehyun squirm and it’s been just twelve hours. Johnny’s proud of her. “Who’s a good girl?”
Bella wags her tail as she stares at him. He feels very bad for betraying her trust and snitching on her location right after.
Bella is sitting in Jaehyun’s lap. They’re all sitting around the table, having breakfast, and Jaehyun has her up on his lap. She’s observing, Jaehyun said with a sigh. They all let him have it — Xiaojun’s flight is in an hour and he’s not really handling it well.
Bella has become his emotional support animal, it seems. She’s gonna have a tough job to do until Dejun’s return.
What throws Johnny off about the whole thing isn’t Taeil sitting next to Jaehyun and sharing pieces of his breakfast with the dog, which is quite unnecessary. It’s that Bella seems to be staring at him. Is she mad at him for snitching? Is she asking him to save her from Jaehyun? Is she cooking up a new plan? Does she know something?
Taeil whispers her name to get her attention again, passing her another piece of meat, which finally gives Johnny a break from the stare-down. He won this round.
He sighs in relief. So does Jaehyun. They look at each other, surprised at the parallel.
“What’s with you?” Jaehyun asks him. Johnny wonders if he should say what’s bothering him, and ultimately he decides he should. It’ll get Jaehyun not to think about Xiaojun leaving, at least for a few minutes.
“I think that dog hates me.”
Jaehyun scoffs at him. “Of course she does, you tried to steal her this morning.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“For the tenth time, that’s not what happened.”
Jaehyun hums, signaling that he doesn’t believe him, and suddenly it’s not just Bella staring Johnny down, it’s also Taeil, Taeyong, and Haechan too. It’s almost like he’s committed a crime.
Oh God. These next few weeks are going to be a nightmare.
Bella’s revenge finally takes place in the late morning when Johnny’s alone in the dorm. Completely alone and looking after Bella. Yet he doesn’t expect it.
He’s minding his business, making himself a cup of coffee and thinking Bella is napping on the couch. Then he turns around and sees her peeing on the floor.
“Bella! Stop!” he immediately says, the sharpness in his voice not achieving anything. She finishes her business and looks at him, a glimpse of a satisfied “here human, deal with this now” in her eyes.
Fuck.
Right.
Jaehyun texted him in the morning, before he left for his schedule and told him he took her out on a walk, but that she’d need another one cause he took her out so early in the morning. He asked Johnny to walk her. He was postponing it for after lunch. It seems like it’s too late now. Though he probably should walk her, just in case she doesn’t also need to go number two.
“Fine. Let’s go for a walk.”
She gets overly happy when Johnny gets the leash. She’s both very still and shaking with excitement as he hooks up the harness around her legs and chest.
Their first walk is overall short and uneventful. So uneventful that Bella doesn’t do anything except mark a few spots and happily wag her tail. Then they return to the dorm, and the problem of a wet smelly carpet is still there for Johnny to figure out. Luckily, it’s not all his responsibility, even though it might technically be his fault.
He’s unsure where Jaehyun is and whether he’s done with his schedule. Something tells Johnny that he won’t be able to come and deal with the mess. It’ll be Johnny’s job. Just like trying to avoid this situation was… that’s beside the point. The issue is that Johnny has no idea what to do. How does one clean a carpet properly?
Johnny notices the two ‘seen’ checkmarks pop under his message, so he waits for a response. A minute passes and there’s nothing. Another one and still silence. Past the fifth minute mark, Johnny is ready to argue.
That seems to finally get Jaehyun’s attention.
Johnny scoffs at the phone. It’s rich of Jaehyun to pull that card when he got angry at Johnny when he pointed out that he doesn’t know these very necessary basic things.
Another one of Johnny’s questions goes unanswered. Jaehyun might be in the middle of something, but Johnny needs him not to be right now. They need to figure this thing out before Taeyong returns from his schedule and finds a dorm that reeks.
When Jaehyun responds to his text, he comes with a solution.
Now Johnny gets to figure out how to reach out to a person he’s awkward with to ask how to do housework. Call Kun sounds so easy in theory, but Johnny would rather figure out a way to have all the carpets in the dorm replaced by nightfall than do that.
It’s odd that Kun is the only person Johnny doesn’t feel overly confident around. The only person on the planet that makes him jittery and timid. That must mean something, mustn’t it?
He shakes the thought out of his head. Texting will do. He’ll text. Texting is scary, but it isn’t as scary as calling.
He copies the number Jaehyun sent him into a new contact and opens a new text. He thinks about it properly, trying to make it sound casual. What he ends up doing is sending four different texts one under the other, each one sounding worse to him than the previous one.
That’s quite the opposite of what Johnny was hoping to hear. He groans at the phone in frustration.
Oh. Oh? He was just trying to break the ice?
Johnny didn’t think of that. He has always assumed that Kun is a person that’s always serious about everything. Interesting. He can joke.
Johnny responds with a joke of his own.
Johnny rushes to the kitchen and opens all the cabinets, looking for vinegar. He knows what he’s looking for — the clear, strong stuff Taeyong uses to pickle stuff, the strong acidic scent of it lingering in the dorms for hours after. He even knows what the bottle looks like, but he can’t see it anywhere. He finds vinegar, just not white vinegar.
Probably. Right after he murders Johnny for actually doing it.
Well. It has to be, doesn’t it? It’s not what Johnny would choose for himself, cause again, awkwardness, but he’d rather have someone who has cleaned dog pee in the past show him how it’s done. Or he’ll have to resort to looking up YouTube tutorials, which he really hopes he won’t have to do this time around. He doesn’t have time to experiment with different methods.
Fuck. Okay. This might overstep some comfort level boundary he has yet to explore fully, but it’ll be fine. It’s just Kun, and the awkwardness will be gone when he leaves, which he will. He probably won’t stay for a meal.
It’ll be fine. This is more important.
That gives Johnny twenty minutes to freak out and convince himself that it’s going to be fine.
It didn’t take long for Youngho to realize how uneventful his life was without the excitement of seeing Kun at the end of the night. The royal duties weren’t interesting to him, and that was before he lost the motivation to get everything done before the evening hours so he’d have time to rest and then meet with Kun.
He postponed things until he no longer could, procrastinated in his lessons and barely tried to learn in his training. His mind and body were too consumed by the distance — too busy yearning and wishing. Making plans for the next time they’d see each other.
In the silence following Kun’s parting, Youngho felt loneliness like never before. In the past he had been used to being ignored by his parents, and only doted on by his servants, receiving fleeting affection and attention in exchange of pay.
Kun changed that. Kun loved him as he were, Kun listened and cared. Kun was his one and only.
Then Kun’s first letter arrived and that changed. Youngho had a new reason to be quickly done — so he could return to his chambers and write to Kun. To count down the days to his return.
A return that would only bring more heartache.
Kun arrives at the dorm as if he’s geared up for a battle — a backpack carrying a weird vacuum cleaner that sprays and sucks up water and a bottle of cleaning product that Johnny walks by every time he’s in the supermarket. He watches him work and learns how to do it. Just in case.
Bella’s extremely excited to see Kun, jumping around him, wagging her tail, melting into his touch when he pets her, before sitting herself on the couch so she can keep a close eye on him.
“So you use the…” Johnny begins, snapping his fingers at the green machine on the ground next to the wet puddle.
“The cleaner, yes,” Kun supplies, continuing his sentence.
“To essentially wash the carpet. And then you spray that.” Another snap of the fingers, this one aimed at the spray bottle Kun brought.
“An enzyme solution, yes,” Kun says, nodding. “You let it do its thing for half an hour, then you use some paper towels to pat the carpet dry. And the last step is to use the cleaner again, but that’s the day after. You don’t want to disrupt the enzyme solution, that gets rid of the smell completely.” Sounds and looks very simple. You basically just need the right products. And he can ask Kun where to get both. “So, I’ll leave all of this with you.”
“Let’s hope this is the last time I need it,” Johnny responds, jokingly crossing his fingers.
“Let’s hope,” Kun repeats with a smile, mimicking the gesture. He stands up then, and Johnny follows him, not wanting to be rude. “Don’t forget to go over the spot again tomorrow morning.”
Johnny makes a mental note. Then he wonders why he’s going through all the effort to make sure that Jaehyun won’t get in trouble. He should tell Jaehyun to do it — he’ll show him how, even. Jaehyun gets to deal with the consequences of… Johnny not giving Bella a walk early enough.
Yeah. This is all his fault and that’s why it’s his to deal with.
If there’s a next time, it’ll be all on Jaehyun, even if it’s technically Johnny’s fault.
“I’ll bring these back to you tomorrow.”
“Keep them while Bella is here, just in case. And I’m flying to China tomorrow anyway, so…”
Kun’s leaving for China. It’s not a complete surprise, Johnny knew it was going to happen cause Jaehyun told him so before Xiaojun left. They’ll all go to visit their families.
What’s a surprise is how hearing that feels. Hearing that Kun is leaving is like a sting in Johnny’s chest. Why doesn’t he like it? Why does he even have an opinion on the matter when it’s none of his business?
Why is everything about Johnny’s feelings when he’s around Kun such an unexplainable phenomenon?
“Right,” he says, trying to act casual. “Thank you, Kun.”
“Yeah, no worries.”
It’s only after Kun leaves that Johnny realizes he didn’t feel awkward with Kun at all. It was just that moment, when he didn’t like that Kun’s going to leave. That was odd, but they weren’t awkward. It might be an improvement while not being one at the same time.
He writes it off as him focusing on learning how to clean before he makes himself forget.
Early in the morning, as Johnny’s making his morning coffee, he remembers Kun mentioning that he’s traveling that day. The memory pops into his mind out of seemingly nowhere, and it keeps playing on loop. Something must be done about it, he decides, which is how he ends up opening his messaging app and drafting a very simple yet effective text.
It’s not like he waits for the response afterwards. But whatever feeling it was that made him send the text in the first place has him checking the phone a few times, hoping that he didn’t send the text too late.
The fidgety energy only disappears after he reads Kun’s reply.
“I hear the queen is visiting you.”
Johnny facetimes with Ten at least once a week.
It hasn’t been easy on Ten ever since left for China, so Johnny’s been actively reaching out more than he used to. He might not fully understand how bad quarantine alone might be, but he has a very bleak idea that scares him. He wants to make sure that Ten doesn’t feel alone all the time.
“The queen is peeing on our carpet and currently hogging my good blanket,” Johnny explains.
“Why is she in your room?”
“I don’t know. She’s always here,” he says, taking a glimpse of Bella sleeping on his bed. “It’s fine during the day, but I close the door on her when I go to bed, she scratches, and I wake up with her next to me. Jaehyun accuses me of trying to steal her every morning. And every time I take her out for a walk. And whenever I buy her something.”
“If you buy her things, she’ll fall in love with you. That must be why she really likes you,” Ten notes. Johnny’s been hearing that a lot lately about Bella and he’s equally surprised whenever someone says it because Bella has absolutely no reason to like him. Dogs know nothing about stuff being bought. He makes fun of her, though he allows her to be there, he doesn’t really invite her into his bed, he doesn’t feed her or play with her. He’s just there, and he walks her sometimes, which means nothing.
“Maybe,” he replies, though he doubts it. He wonders if it’s because she knows something that he doesn’t.
Ten hums in response, not saying much other than that. Then he switches the topic ever so slightly.
“Do you know how to clean the carpet after she pees or do I need to teach you?”
“I know how. Kun taught me.”
Ten narrows his eyes at him. “Kun taught you,” he repeats.
“I was home alone with her the first time it happened, so I called for help.”
“I didn’t think you had his number,” Ten says, smirking. Johnny knows exactly why Ten says that — he remembers a specific conversation with him where he explicitly said that he doesn’t have Kun’s number. That he’s never asked for it and that he doesn’t see a need for. I’ll just call you, he told Ten then.
But now he’s glad he has it. He’s glad Jaehyun gave it to him. It came in handy.
“Well, I have it now.”
“You’re acting strange,” Ten says to him.
He’s always been strange about Kun, but Ten hasn’t said anything about it before. And Johnny would rather not go into that right now.
“There’s nothing strange,” he lies. Then he starts a new conversation. “Tell me about work. What’s happening nowadays?”
“Nothing’s happening,” Ten says. He then continues to vent about the situation and about dealing with it, and Johnny sits and listens. It’s the only thing he can do. He can’t help his friend in any other way.
My dearest,
Time is passing slowly, but the weather is treating me well. The days are long and sunny, reminding me of the day after we met. The nights are chilly and humid, reminding me of our nights.
I have found myself drawn to the orchard as it reminds me of the woods and meeting up with you.
Though we are so far apart, everything I do still revolves around you. I am guided by the reminder that we will soon be reunited. I am weeks away from seeing you. All will be well when I hold you again.
Yours until the end of time, Kun
“Johnny! She peed again,” Jaehyun’s voice echoes through the dorm.
Johnny sighs. He can’t believe this is what he gets to do nowadays.
Lucky for Jaehyun, and everyone else in the dorm, Johnny’s prepared. He learned. And he has everything they need to tackle that issue stashed behind the door in his room. Kun was right to leave the supplies. Johnny makes a mental note to thank him the next time he talks to him, though he won’t be the only one. Jaehyun will too, because this is a solution for Taeyong’s growing anger. Don’t dirty the common area is maybe the only house rule they have.
Johnny attempts to walk Jaehyun through it all, but Jaehyun struggles. It reminds Johnny of the day Kun came to help him, he tried and ended up doing it on his own. Now Johnny’s the same — on his knees, drying the area with a paper towel before he washes it and applies the thing that makes the smell go away, while Jaehyun towers over him and watches, and Bella’s trying to get his attention.
Taeyong is at least semi-helpful, offering to help and asking questions. Johnny feels his support, but he can’t believe Jaehyun isn’t doing more. He’s been babying him for too long.
“You know, it doesn’t say anywhere in my contract that cleaning your step-daughter’s pee would be a part of being in this group,” he says to Jaehyun. Taeyong hums in agreement while the words go over Jaehyun’s head. Or he chooses not to hear them, only grasping the little detail he can protest.
“She’s not my step-daughter,” he replies.
She isn’t? Then what is she?
“Did you officially adopt her then?” Taeyong jokes, earning more protesting from Jaehyun.
“She’s not adopted! Don’t speak like that in front of her,” he says, coming off quite insulted. “Apologize.”
Johnny sighs again. He can’t believe he’s actually considering it. Is he really going to apologize to a dog for saying that she’s adopted? How did it come to this?
He looks at Bella, meets her eyes after which she calms down and takes a seat. She doesn’t break eye contact as Johnny words his apology as sarcastically as he can. Apparently dogs don’t understand sarcasm.
“I’m sorry, Bella. I misunderstood. I was wrong. Xiaojun actually gave birth to you after Jaehyun got him pregnant,” Johnny deadpans, hiding his annoyance.
“That sounds wrong on so many levels,” Taeil’s voice is heard. They turn and see him standing at the edge of the living room, keeping his distance from the mess as he’s known to be squeamish, while still observing.
“At least Taeil’s still of right mind,” Taeyong then says.
“Always, besties.”
Well, maybe not always, if he’s going around throwing the word bestie at them.
The text comes all of a sudden.
Johnny had just gotten comfortable under the duvet, having had to talk to Jaehyun and be persuaded into letting Bella in his room as Jaehyun’s decided he’s giving up on trying to keep her inside his room through the night. Bella wants to sleep next to Johnny’s feet, for some reason that’s the only place where she feels comfortable at night.
He’s whispering goodnight to her when his phone screen lights up, a short notification sound following right after. Then another shortly after.
It’s been two weeks now since Kun left for China and it’s the first time he’s contacting him. It’s cute that Kun’s checking on like this. Maybe Johnny shouldn’t phrase it like that, but that describes exactly how he feels. It’s cute.
Johnny takes the moment to snap a picture of Bella lying on his bed, her big eyes staring at the camera under the dim light the lamp on Johnny’s nightstand is emitting. He sends it to Kun as proof.
The conversation could technically end there, Johnny’s aware, but he feels an itch to continue it. He feels a need to ask Kun if he’s okay and to see if he’s having a good time at home. Where the itch comes from, he’s unaware. What he knows for sure is that it feels right to ask.
And that it doesn’t feel awkward.
The conversation seems to come to a halt with that. There’s no new developments for a few moments — Johnny stares at the screen as he wants there to be more, he’s eager to speak to Kun even though he was extremely tired just minutes ago.
Then the three dots appear, Kun typing something that Johnny gets momentarily excited to read.
My dearest,
I am afraid this will be my final letter to you before I return. It pains me to tell you that our fate has been decided for us. I have overheard my father speaking to his advisors. It seems as though a decision has been made between him and His Majesty. You are to marry my sister. I am sorry, my love.
I wish we were different people who could run away and make a different destiny for themselves.
Maybe in a different lifetime we could love each other as we do now without obstacles.
Yours until the end of time, Kun
Kun starts texting him daily for updates and a tiny bit of small talk. He usually asks how everyone is, and how’s the weather. It’s silly and sometimes it could be considered empty, but Johnny doesn’t mind at all.
The most important part is that even when it’s nothing, it’s not awkward. It’s kind of natural, even. It feels nice to talk to Kun.
That’s why, on days when Johnny thinks Kun is running late with his text, he texts him first. He brings up Bella, sends him photos and videos of her, and then they chat about whatever for a few minutes. Who did what that day, if they saw a video or photo or meme online. It becomes the highlight of Johnny’s day.
It begins to feel so comfortable for Johnny that he’s on the verge of opening up. He types up long complaints, asking Kun for advice about things he knows Kun will have a good input on. But then he deletes them, figuring that he’d just be bothering Kun with his problems. He’ll tell him about it some other day, when Kun isn’t on vacation.
He’ll wait for Kun to come back.
Until then he’ll pretend that he doesn’t notice the feeling overtaking his body everytime they talk.
Johnny’s lurking on Twitter. Definitely not using a generic NCT stan username so he fits in with the fans, and most definitely not using a picture of Kun as his profile picture. He wasn’t randomly inspired to change it after he saw it as an outtake from a photoshoot. His first thought wasn’t how hot Kun is.
None of that is correct. Johnny refuses to acknowledge the feelings. In fact, there are none of those.
He refreshes the timeline, seeing new tweets from the bubble translation accounts. He sees them translating a new message from Kun, followed by photos of him by an old wall, illuminated by lights from below.
It makes him curious, which gives him the latest reason to talk to Kun.
He screenshots the photos and sends the screenshot to him, using it as a conversation starter.
The message worries him.
Kun was so excited about going when they spoke, and the first time he texted about it, everything seemed fine. Everything seemed fine to Johnny throughout all their texts that week. Now it’s different, it seems like he’s not having that good of a time.
But Johnny doesn’t believe him.
Well, your friends suck, Johnny types in and promptly deletes it.
He shouldn’t say things like that. Kun already sounds sad enough about it, and he’d be adding fuel to a fire he’s trying to put out. He doesn’t want Kun to worry about it, and to make that happen he’s ready to come up with a bullshit explanation right on the spot.
Kun is silent for a few moments, giving him enough time to expand on his theory in his head. That way, when he texts,
Johnny already has more bullshit to offer.
Three dots indicating that Kun’s typing show up and go away a few times. The message that gets sent makes Johnny giggle. He’s extra happy that in his head he can hear it in Kun’s voice as he reads it out.
He imagines Kun knowingly smirking, ready to call him out for exaggerating. He wonders if his imagination mirrors the reality of the moment.
Johnny laughs out loud. Bella lifts her head and looks at him weirdly.
The emoji might be pushing it a bit, but Johnny doesn’t regret it at all.
“So tell me about Kun,” Johnny says.
It’s the morning after, and he’s aiming the demand at Bella who has found herself resting on top of his bed. Again. She’s lying on her side, occasionally staring at him then closing her eyes and pretending she’s asleep whenever he looks in her direction.
“He’s nice, right?” he asks. Bella opens her eyes and blinks at him before she closes them and goes back to her fictitious nap. Johnny takes that as a yes.
“You know, Bella, I haven’t talked to him a whole lot in the past, but I’m enjoying it when I do it. I wonder if that means something or not.”
Bella opens her eyes again, and this time she wags her tail when she looks at him. Whatever she’s trying to tell him is indecipherable.
“I’ll stop bothering you now with my thoughts, but thank you for hearing me out.”
She closes her eyes and allows her head to sink into the duvet.
“You will marry the princess.”
It was officially announced at a formal meeting between the families. The Kings, their Queen Consorts, the princes and princesses. The Firm was there too, overlooking the meeting. Everyone was there to watch Youngho’s misery and heartbreak.
His father’s words echoed in Youngho’s mind as he gathered up the courage to speak his mind for the first time in his life.
“I do not wish to marry her,” he said.
He ignored the gasps from the royals and glanced at Kun, seeing fear in his eyes. Youngho was afraid too. But he had to try.
“I am calling on you to fulfill your duty. You will marry the princess in a week,” the King raised his voice.
“Allow me to marry the prince.” It was Youngho’s final attempt.
“You will marry the princess in a week,” the King repeated. “She will bear your children. It has been decided,” he insisted, installing more fear into Youngho by adding, “Do not test my patience.”
The end of a conversation Youngho never thought he would have was a threat. He couldn’t move, looking at the ground before him, hiding the tears streaming down his face. Everyone exited the room at the end of the meeting, leaving him alone in his fear and sadness.
“Until the end of time,” he whispered, thinking he was on his own.
He said it because he needed to hear it, he needed someone to say the words. He didn’t know Kun was there too, sharing his heartbreak.
“Until the end of time,” he heard back, Kun’s voice breaking. He looked up and saw him in the same state that he was in. He too was barely able to contain his grief, sitting with the shock of having his entire world falling apart in front of his eyes.
They were trapped in their titles and duties now more than ever. A promise to love each other forever was all they had.
The realization that Johnny likes Kun comes to him at the worst possible moment.
He’s about to facetime Ten, waiting for him to answer his call, and he's sitting there thinking about Kun. About talking to him earlier, about a photo he saw of him online — a very specific one from a photoshoot where Kun is flexing his abs and has a hand placed on his thigh. Then he thinks about his lips. Johnny's been thinking a lot about Kun’s lips recently.
It dawns on him as Ten answers the call.
“I think I’m catching feelings,” he says out loud.
Ten gasps. That’s when Johnny realizes what he’s done.
He shouldn’t have said it out loud. He didn’t want to say it. Why did he say it?
“Oh my god! I’ve been waiting for this to happen for years,” Ten says, clapping his hands in excitement. “Who for? Who is it? Is it someone I know? Please, just give me a name. I’ll cyberstalk them and figure out everything else. Please.”
Fuck no. Not happening. He shouldn’t have said anything anyway.
“No way. Forget it.”
“Johnathan! What are we best friends for?” Ten insists, grinning at the camera. When that doesn’t work he pouts. “Please. I’m bored,” he says.
Johnny shakes his head. “No.”
“But Johnny.” Ten tries again, pausing for a moment to see if his plea will work. “John-john.” Another attempt that fails. “Youngho.”
When nothing else does the trick, it’s up to Youngho. Far too much for that word to do, in reality.
“Don’t use my government name, Chittaphon.”
Ten scoffs at him.
“I’m serious. Tell me,” he continues. And when that doesn’t work he begins a chant, repeating ‘tell me, tell me, tell me’ until it gets so annoying that it ultimately makes Johnny break. Johnny wonders who taught Ten of this new superpower he’s never used before.
“It’s Kun,” he says softly, praying that Ten didn’t hear him right. That way he can refuse to say it and it’ll be over.
But things usually don’t work out the way Johnny wants them to.
“Qian Kun? Our Kun?” Ten asks him, mimicking his whisper.
Johnny didn’t realize Kun was a shared person.
“Yeah. Our Kun.”
“I’ll call you right back.” Ten says, immediately ending the call.
“What the fuck just happened?” Johnny thinks out loud. The second time he’s done it that day.
He wonders what Ten’s doing, why he hung up so fast. Is he calling Kun to tell him? Is he texting someone? What would be the reason to leave Johnny hanging like that, right after Johnny confessed about his crush. About his still new, still developing feelings that he’d usually keep to himself until his deathbed.
He’s about to start panicking about all the possible scenarios when his phone begins ringing. Ten calling him back.
“Okay. Sorry. I’m finally done laughing,” is the first thing Ten says. “But I gotta say, I see it.”
Oh?
No.
That can’t be a real opinion Ten has.
“No, you don’t.”
“I see it, dummy. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Keep it up.”
Keep what up? What?
“What does that mean?” Johnny demands. Ten smiles in response, shrugging at the camera. “No Tenneth. No. What does that mean?”
“You gotta find that out by yourself.”
Ten leaves him with that, ending the call again, but this time he doesn’t call back. He doesn’t answer Johnny’s calls or texts, not for a while.
Johnny’s sure that it’s a temporary insanity that makes him consider what Ten said. It’s the same reason he’ll cite for actually doing what Ten told him to do.
He’s pacing in circles around his room as he waits for a response, too nervous to stay in the same spot. He’s overthinking it, wondering if it’s the right opener. Wondering how to phrase it. Offering to pick up someone from the airport is a big thing, isn’t it? And doing it out of the blue like this?
His phone lights up, buzzing four times back to back. He feels relieved that there’s an answer. Then he panics cause he actually has to do it now. He’d rather not find out what ‘or else’ means in Ten’s dictionary.
Johnny takes a deep breath. He types in the message, sends it, then leaves his phone on his bed and walks away.
The response comes almost immediately.
Oh god. Kun must be weirded out by his offer. How does he backtrack from this? Should he apologize? What he knows for sure is that he’ll never listen to Ten’s advice ever again.
He does his best to string together an excuse for offering to drive to Incheon and back for no apparent reason.
A lie. He most definitely won’t be in the area.
Kun sends, following it with silence. Johnny fills it with more pacing and more frustration. Kun’s figuring out how to say no, that has to be what he’s doing.
As a result of the exchange, Johnny feels shitty. Great.
He got his hopes up, despite being nervous about actually doing it. He got excited about it, about seeing Kun. And now what?
Well. Now he’ll have a conversation with Ten about what he made him do.
It doesn’t take Ten a lot of time to respond.
Johnny doesn’t know why he bite and why he trusts Ten so much when Ten has never steered him right.
A minute passes. Then another. Then another fifteen. When half an hour passes, Johnny sends a text to remind Ten that he’s anticipating whatever “news” Ten is going to find out.
No. Not after the humiliation from an hour ago. Go for what? For the delusion in Ten’s head.
No.
Nope.
Not happening.
The nerve!
Though, he might be right.
A few days after Kun’s return, Xiaojun returns as well.
It’s the day Youngho was looking forward to at the beginning of Bella’s stay at their dorm, but now that it’s here and they’re supposed to pack Bella’s things that have surprisingly become scattered around everyone’s rooms, Johnny’s beginning to dread it.
No more walks with the dog in the middle of the afternoon, no more serotonin boosts from playing with Bella, no more warm feet. But worst of it all, no excuse to use when he texts Kun out of nowhere. No more “Is it okay if I give Bella a piece of watermelon? Yeah? Okay cool. Tell me about your day.”. That’s what Johnny will miss the most. Random shit working as an opener.
“Wanna come with me to drop her off?” Jaehyun asks him, noticing the pout on his lips as he watches as Jaehyun leads Bella towards the door.
Johnny is far too eager to go with him. He’s far too silly and thinks that he might see Kun, which is his entire goal for getting off his ass and going with Jaehyun instead of moping in the dorms. And it’s a ludicrous thought. They don’t even live on the same floor. Why would Kun be at Xiaojun’s?
Johnny still holds out hope that he might somehow see him, though. Despite it not making sense on the surface, he figures out some possible ways. That's all he thinks about on the drive over.
Meeting in the hallway is an option. So is stopping by to say hi, though he doesn't feel he's gutsy enough for that. Kun might come upstairs, for a reason Johnny can’t quite figure out at that moment. There are too many possible scenarios and Johnny is getting excited as he sits there and brings his own hopes up.
As they go up the stairs to the apartment, Bella happily leads the way, eagerly pulling at the leash Jaehyun’s holding. She pulls upstairs, only stopping once: so she can plead to go into the downstairs dorm. She stands next to the door, violently sniffing near the doorstep and whining. Johnny’s about to plead for it too when Jaehyun says her name. Bella looks up at him, then heads up the stairs.
Almost. The Jeong family ruined Johnny’s chances. Unless…
Alas, Kun isn’t at Xiaojun’s place when they arrive. He isn’t there to see Bella’s excitement when she sees Xiaojun again, her threatening Jaehyun with a soft growl to get him to let go of the leash so she can run towards the most important person in her life. Kun doesn’t show up while they’re there, or as they’re leaving.
But Johnny does see him as they’re leaving. They meet halfway between the upstairs and downstairs dorms.
Kun’s surprised to see them, Johnny can tell from his face. He greets them, somewhat awkwardly, then transitions into more awkwardness as he tells them he got them something from China. He was on his way to give it to Xiaojun, thinking they were going to stop by later.
Well.
Kun thought of him when he was buying gifts. That’s something. Or more than something, depending on what it is.
“It’s not much. It’s wine, but I know you like it, and when we had it, I thought that you might like it, so I got you a bottle.”
Kun says it kind of casually, while Johnny’s screaming on the inside and trying to be as casual as him on the outside. It works up until the moment they say goodbye. As soon as they walk away Johnny smiles. A wide, happy smile, as a result of the excitement he feels inside his chest.
If only it was subtle enough for Jaehyun not to notice. But he can’t have everything, and he can’t have this moment either, he realizes when they get to the car and he’s reminded that Jaehyun got a gift too.
Fuck it. He has to know.
“What did Kun get you?” he asks.
Jaehyun doesn’t answer immediately. He’s being a cheeky little minx, asking “Why?” with a teasing smile, then immediately agreeing to it. “Let me see,” he says, opening the gift bag Kun gave him. Johnny watches carefully, waiting. “Uh, it’s some herbal tea.”
“You don’t like tea.”
“I don’t hate it.” he says. “Are you satisfied now?”
“Yes. Very.”
Jaehyun narrows his eyes at him, concluding, “This is a new level of weirdness for you.”
Nonsense. Johnny’s never weird.
Never.
The kings had forbidden Youngho and Kun to meet before the wedding. It would not have been an issue if Youngho didn’t have new guards, ones who didn’t know him, didn’t care for him, and only answered to his father. The same stood true for Kun. Neither of them could escape. Neither could sneak off in the middle of the night for a handful of moments of solitude.
Youngho was beyond himself. Pain was ever present in his chest, constantly reminding him of what was decided for them and making every breath difficult.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Youngho never imagined it as so, he never thought his father to be so cruel. He never thought he’d have no way out.
All the ideas he came up with were useless, all relying on compassion that he couldn’t get from his father, or help from members of the court who knew how badly they’d be tortured if they were to help him.
He was helpless, counting down the days to the wedding since it was the next time he knew he’d be allowed to see Kun. It was ironic — looking forward to the worst day of his life for the wrong reason. He’d see him, but everything about the wedding would hurt them both. The celebrations, the wishes, the vows. Worst of all, the consumption. Youngho was most afraid of that. Of what he and Kun would have to go through.
A knock on the door changed that fear. A visit and a short conversation made him realize there are much, much worse things than the wedding. Cause he imagined that Kun would still be there, somewhere in the castle, suffering with him.
But when Kun walked into his room and the guards closed the door, he learned that wasn’t the case.
He immediately stood up, quickly closing the space between them. Kun stopped him, extending his arm and taking a step back. No. Something wasn’t right.
“I have come to say goodbye,” Kun said. Before Youngho got a chance to reply, he continued, “It has been decided. I am to travel to Europe and never return,” he spoke.
“Kun.”
“My father does not want me around anymore. And the pain I feel every time I think of you with my sister has me wishing for my death. I have no fight left in me,” Kun admitted, his words breaking Youngho’s heart. It was his fault. His doing. His family was the reason Kun was hurting.
“You know…” he attempted, his words failing him.
“I do know. But I cannot take it. I must distance myself so it will hurt less. It is for the best,” Kun said. Youngho stumbled back, losing control of his body as it was overwhelmed by emotions. Stabbing pain took over his stomach as tears flooded his eyes. This was the end. The actual end. He was about to lose the only thing that was keeping him alive.
Kun reached out for him, his gentle fingers wrapped themselves tightly around Youngho’s forearm, saving him from falling. With his other hand, he reached out for Youngho’s face, drying the tears that had started to stream down his cheeks.
“Don’t. You mustn’t,” Kun said.
“I mustn’t? My one true love is leaving me and I cannot grieve?”
“Youngho.”
It was the stubbornness in him that had him wishing, hoping. “I shall fix it,” Youngho promised, “I shall find a way for us to be together. I shall…”
“Youngho,” Kun said, seriousness in his voice, “You tried. It is already difficult for both of us. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do anything foolish. Find some peace. I beg you. For me.”
It was. Youngho failed to realize that it might be even more difficult for Kun. He wasn’t just forbidden from being with the person he loved. He was then scorned by his family. He was made to leave the kingdom and everything else behind.
How could Youngho find peace when he cursed them both?
“My love,” he said, pulling Kun into an embrace. He didn’t want to let go. “Mine.”
“Yours,” Kun replied, breaking Youngho’s heart with the last words he spoke to him before he left. “I love you until the end of time.”
“I love you until the end of time.”
Kun left at dawn.
Youngho didn’t find peace. He wouldn’t, not until he found himself back in Kun’s arms.
The thing is that, as much as Johnny didn’t enjoy having Bella all up in his space, he’s beginning to miss her. Though it was just over a month of their time together, Johnny had gotten used to having her around.
If he ignores the incidents, it was lovely to have her around. He had company all day, he had a foot warmer at night. Life in the dorms was never boring, but with her it was even less. Most importantly, she kept Jaehyun busy. Busy Jaehyun means a happy dorm room.
He thinks about possibly visiting and he wonders how she’d react to him the next time she sees him. If she’d remember him now that Xiaojun is back. He’s her number one.
All the wondering has him reaching out for his phone and shooting Kun a quick text.
No time like the present.
Bella approaches him the moment Johnny steps into the dorm, wagging her tail and demanding his attention.
Kun chuckles at the sight, the sound of it making Johnny’s heartbeat go bonkers. He focuses his attention on Bella, kneeling down to scratch her ears, then to give her belly rubs when she turns to her back and bends her front legs in anticipation.
“Aww,” Kun coos at them, “it seems like we like you.”
Johnny makes the decision right at the spot, urged on by a little voice in his head that sounds suspiciously a lot like Ten. He says it, feeling at peace with the words as he says them.
“I like you.”
Johnny looks up at Kun who doesn’t seem to register what he says, or at least he doesn’t realize that Johnny isn’t just saying it. He’s saying it to him.
He stands up, facing Kun as he can’t wait any longer.
“Kunnie.”
“Hm?”
“I like you,” Johnny repeats, crossing his fingers that Kun registers him properly this time around.
“Me?” he asks, doe-eyed as he sheepishly points at himself. He’s adorable, Johnny thinks. “I thought you were talking to Bella.”
Johnny can’t help but smile at him. God, he could kiss him right there.
“I mean, Bella’s great. But I don’t like her the way I like you.”
“Oh,” Kun mouths, blinking at Johnny. And Johnny has no idea what to reply. What does he say to an oh, thought it might sound meaningful.
The silence that grows between them becomes uncomfortable quickly, and Johnny cannot stop himself from speaking out of need for it to end.
“Yeah. Um… Sorry.”
Johnny’s apology whips Kun back to normal.
“Why are you apologizing?” he immediately asks. Johnny has to answer.
“I don’t know,” he seconds it with a shrug. “Cause saying it makes me feel like I’m fucking up whatever friendship we now have.”
“You weren’t fucking anything up before the friendzoning attempt.”
Friendzoning? Oh. Technically, yes. But why did he say that?
“I didn’t realize I did that,” he says. A big, colorful burst of laugh escapes Kun’s lips, sending tingles through Johnny’s body. He’s adorable. Fuck. This needs to work out cause Johnny is already weak for him.
“I like you too,” Kun then says, surprising Johnny with his confession.
Johnny refuses to wait any longer. He’s already been waiting for too long as it is.
“Can I kiss you?” he immediately asked.
Kun doesn’t respond with words, he responds by nodding then taking a step closer.
Johnny leans forward, meeting Kun halfway. He kisses him carefully, lightly, butterflies going crazy in his stomach as he loses himself in how soft Kun’s lips are.
His arms quickly find their way to Kun’s waist. He pulls him closer, deepening the kiss. Kun parts his lips, showing eagerness to continue. But it becomes too overwhelming for Johnny. He has to stop.
He ends a kiss and takes a step back. Kun catches his hand, he looks at him as he tries to catch his breath.
“That felt so familiar,” Kun whispers the words in between gasps. Johnny feels the same. And he’s flattered. A part of him is proud that he managed to take Kun’s breath away like that.
“It did,” he replies.
Kun looks up at him, he looks him in the eyes and with a new, stronger determination he says, “Come with me.”
Johnny can’t object.
And later, as he falls asleep in Kun’s bed, with his arms wrapped around him, he can’t help but think of the worst possible thing he can think of. He remembers that Ten was right.
He usually hates it when that happens, but not this time.
For the longest time, Youngho didn’t see him nor hear from him.
He heard of him. The princess spoke of her brother and his life abroad. She shared frustration that her brother was refusing to marry. That he didn’t have anyone. That his letters spoke of work but not of anything else.
Whenever the princess threw those letters away, the servants brought them to him, an order he gave out in whispers after the first letter had arrived. He held onto them, storing them in a locked box in the locked drawer in his desk. In his lowest he indulged himself, staring at the words, finger tracing over Kun’s penmanship as it was the closest he could be to him.
He tried writing to him, but received no reply. He felt broken every time a letter arrived for the princess, every time she threw it out as if it’s dry flowers, but there was nothing for him. There was no mention of him yet he was the only one treasuring his words.
Everything Youngho had ever read about love was wrong, he realized. Absence made the heart grow fonder, but also sadder and lonelier.
It didn’t take him long to realize that he was left with no one who truly cared for him. It took him years before he allowed the pain to get to him. Before he let it make him bitter and mean.
When the princess and baby passed away during childbirth, Youngho was left without a goal or purpose. His wish to find Kun and spend whatever life was remaining in him in his arms until he took his final breath was just a fleeting idea. Not a possibility.
Until an opportunity arose, in his new found grief The Court decided he should travel out of the kingdom while the nation learns of the news.
Their plans were announced in a meeting that Youngho intended to skip. He would have regretted it, had he not shown up.
“You are to travel to Europe. War is brewing on the continent. Some meetings must be attended and negotiations are to be had so the kingdom doesn’t suffer.”
The news of the war was a shock. His first thought was Kun and his safety.
In shock and feeling afraid, Youngho made the biggest decision he could possibly make.
“I am to never return,” he said, using the same words Kun used to tell him the news. He stood up, finishing his announcement. “It shall be my last duty as prince and heir to the kingdom. After the negotiations I shall renounce the throne.”
“I won’t allow it,” the King protested.
“I am not asking for your permission. I have decided for myself.”
He bowed to the room of men that have been controlling his life since birth. One final time, before he returns to his chambers and packs for his trip. For the move.
“You shall die if you go to him,” his father warned.
Youngho stopped. He turned to him, speaking plainly to his father for the last time. He was determined to get him to listen, at least this once.
“Then I shall die content, being with the only person that ever cared for me.”
In the morning Johnny’s sitting in WayV’s dining area, munching on a bowl of the sugary cereal that Taeyong tries his best to keep out of the dorms. It’s not great for you. Here, have some granola. Now Kun is giving him another, less important reason for Johnny to aim to wake up in his bed every morning. He doesn’t want to leave today either, but he has to.
Luckily, he can stay and have breakfast with Kun for the first time before he has to leave and join the real world. A moment of their own before they have to sit down and figure out what they will be from now on and how they will go about it.
They’re sitting next to each other, knees and elbows touching. It feels intimate, yet comfortable. Johnny’s not afraid of what follows, despite this being the first time that he’s gone through this.
He’s had crushes before, he’s hooked up with people also, but those crushes were never reciprocated and the hookups were never more than just hookups. This is different, and he already felt that difference. Everything is stronger and more meaningful when feelings are involved. Everything.
A door opens somewhere in the dorm. Johnny looks where the sound came from, then at Kun who assures him that it’s okay with a smile, then back towards the sound.
Yangyang. Johnny forgot that Yangyang is also here.
“Oh. Morning, hyung,” Yangyang says. He smiles, and pulls out the chair opposite of them both. Then he politely asks, “Why are you here?” and raises an eyebrow in Johnny’s direction.
“Um… We were out of cereal, so I came to borrow some of yours.”
“Sure you did,” Yangyang responds in a chuckle, without missing a beat. “Kun-hyung, you’re blushing.”
“Shush,” Kun says.
His reaction prompts Johnny to look at him. He sees his cheeky smile, dimples and the blush prickling on his skin. He takes a mental photo, making himself memorize the sight. Kun’s too adorable.
“You’re really cute when you blush,” Johnny admits, and in response the redness of Kun’s cheeks deepens. Fuck. He could look at him like this forever. He has to figure out what Kun’s soft spots are and how he can make him blush and smile like this. Giving him compliments is one, but what are the others?
“Ew,” Yangyang then says, scrunching his face in disapproval. “But continue. I’ll take my breakfast and leave you two alone.”
Johnny now owes Yangyang a million favors.
Kun likes to figure things out on his own. He likes silence because he doesn’t get a lot of it. He likes to listen to music and to talk about the composition, about how the beat and the melody work together. He also likes to spend hours composing. He likes to learn new things all the time. He’s always learning something.
Kun unironically loves Jay Chou so much that Johnny catches himself in fits of jealousy at times. Then he remembers that he’s the only one that gets Kun, a thought that minimizes his jealousy and does wonders to his ego. Jay Chou can suck it.
Kun is sometimes burdened by the responsibilities of a leader, and Johnny gets it. It’s not an easy task. But Kun loves his members too much, so he picks himself up, does his best and tries as hard as he can. He’s not afraid of work, he’s not ashamed of the small things that he must do and the conversations he must have to achieve the larger goal. He does everything he can, and that’s the most admirable characteristic in a person, Johnny thinks.
Kun likes long walks. He likes forehead kisses, and when Johnny hugs him from behind, putting his arms over Kun’s shoulders. Kun loves to feel tiny and he loves to be pampered. He loves it as much as he loves to pamper others.
He loves to take care of Johnny, especially after sex. As he looks down at Johnny, proud of his work and the mixture of pleasure and exhaustion he causes him, he looks down and caresses Johnny’s cheek. He cleans him and holds him, and Johnny melts into it. It feels so tender. So special.
It feels like a privilege to see that side of Kun. Just like all sides of Kun that he hides from the fans.
Johnny thanks the universe for making him brave enough to confess. He thanks Kun for letting him in, letting him see him at his best and at his worst. There’s nothing Johnny would rather be doing than soothing Kun when he’s anxious and celebrating his wins.
There’s nothing that Johnny would want to do more than spend every passing moment falling in love with Kun.
Finding Kun was a difficult task. Youngho had an address from a letter that arrived months prior, a wonderful thing for people familiar with a city. Youngho had never been in the city, he didn't speak the local language, he didn't know where he was supposed to go.
It took him days to narrow down the area where Kun could be, finally finding the apartment but not finding Kun there. He had moved a week prior — the new tenants informed Youngho in broken English.
His heart broke and was tied back together with strings of hope when the people mentioned a forwarding address.
He quickly traveled across the city, to a new unfamiliar part, knocking on new unfamiliar doors.
He found him there. Tired, sad, confused. The same way Youngho’s been since Kun left. Even worse after Kun’s sister passed.
Youngho’s heart broke in a new way. He shouldn’t have let any of it happen. He should’ve left with Kun.
“Youngho?”
“Kun.”
Kun was the one to make the first move, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around him.
“I’ve missed you,” Kun whispered. Tears were already pooling in Youngho’s eyes as he felt Kun’s warmth for the first time in so long.
Kun’s arms were where Youngho was safest. Until the war broke out, a week after their reunion, and the whole continent was overtaken by tyranny and suffering.
Their peace didn’t last long, but at least the wish Youngho made at his lowest came true. They didn’t live a long, happy life, but they did take their last breath together.
“Stupify,” Kun repeats after him, a sparkle in his eye and a giggle covered in his voice. Johnny catches himself staring at his smile.
How did he not notice Kun in this light before? How was he not captivated by his beauty, how could he waste so much time when Kun was right there.
The joke in the fandom is that he and Kun don’t talk. That they don’t know each other. And maybe that was true to a degree. But getting to know Kun was always going to be inevitable, and Johnny thinks that it would always lead to this.
Cause there wasn’t awkwardness, that’s not what it was. It was a pull, a connection that he ignored.
His body knew where he belonged, it knew who he was meant to love, before he even did.
“Why are you smiling so much?” Taeil asks him. He’s just walked into the dorm, his backpack still over his shoulder and though his music is off, his earbuds are still in his ears. He gets taken aback by the question — he hadn’t noticed that he’s smiling.
He turns towards where Taeil is, seeing him sprawled on the couch, his head resting on Haechan’s lap. Taeyong’s on the armchair nearby, pretending not to be irked out by the sight. In the past Johnny would be too, PDA is tacky. But now Johnny’s enjoying PDA so he refuses to judge.
“He’s been smiling like this since the shooting,” Doyoung supplies.
Oh? Johnny hadn’t noticed that either.
If it’s since the shooting, then it must be because of the realization he had. That thing, that small, insignificant little decision he made.
Four pairs of eyes are looking at him, expecting an explanation, so his tongue untangles. He might as well say it. They’re going to find out eventually anyway.
“I think I’m gonna marry Kun.”
Taeil and Doyoung gasp at his statement. Haechan knowingly smirks. Taeyong is much more vocal about his opinion.
“Johnny, for fuck’s sake. You’ve been dating for like a week,” Taeyong protests.
“It’s a feeling, okay. And I’m not gonna do it like tomorrow. In the future. I’m gonna marry Kun,” he explains, prompting giggles from Taeil. Taeil of all people? “Why are you laughing?”
“You’re funny.”
He wouldn’t be laughing if he knew what Johnny knows.
“Haechan ordered an engagement ring for you the moment he returned from your first date.”
“What?” Taeil asks in shock, immediately sitting up. He looks at Haechan, demanding an explanation without a word said.
Haechan sighs. “Hyung, that was a secret.”
Well, it’s not one anymore. And Johnny’s intention won’t be one for long, either.
Haechan will retaliate by snitching, and Kun will find it hilarious.
The connection will always be too strong. They’ve loved each other for too many lifetimes. They’ll always find their way to each other.
Even when it’s rushed and seemingly concocted by a very rude dog.