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“Hi Honeey, IIIIIIII’mmm hooooooooOOOOMME!”
Q groaned and snuggled into his pillow. It was Sunday and his first full day off with James for over a month. He had been looking forward to it but if there was one thing that they’d never quite seen eye-to-eye on, it was the time of day that a day off should actually start. Q could quite happily sleep all day if it wasn’t for his up-with-the-lark’s-first-fart, Energiser bunny of a husband interfering with him. Honestly, it wasn’t decent for a man of his age. He hadn’t even got back from his latest mission until 3 o’clock that morning. He would have thought that today of all days he’d be willing to just sleep in but… no. Q heard the bedroom door open and resolutely kept his eyes shut.
“If it’s before ten a.m., I don’t want to know about it.” He muttered into his pillow. He felt the bed dip as James sat down beside him.
“Morning Gorgeous!” A kiss was pressed onto his ear. “I brought you one of Tony’s special teas, he says ‘hi’ by the way. I also have a bag of croissants from that bakery on Greek Street that you like. You’ll be thrilled to hear it’s pissing it down with rain out there so I vote we spend the day in bed.” Q raised his tousled head and squinted at him.
“Did you really just wake me up to tell me that I can stay in bed all day? Did it not occur to you I might like to have a bit of a sleep in?”
James grinned at him.
“But where’s the fun in that? I wouldn’t get to spend the whole day with you if you slept it away.” He stroked his hand down Q’s back and laughed when Q made a huge show of thrashing about and turning over.
“God, I hate you,” he groused, “That’s emotional blackmail; you manipulative, under-handed, malevolent turd.” He grabbed his glasses and put them on. Looking at the clock he slapped James’s leg. “Quarter past fucking eight? You bastard!” He pushed himself up onto his hands and allowed James to move his pillows until they supported him. “Give me a proper good morning kiss and my tea right this instant. Otherwise I’m going write a Q Branch directive stipulating that every phone you get from now on gets the theme tune to The Only Way Is Essex locked-in as its ringtone.” James laughed as he obediently leaned in and kissed Q softly, running his fingers through his hair and making sweet little noises of approval. When he broke off the kiss he handed him a cardboard cup.
“Good morning, Mr Bond. Did you sleep well?”
Q smiled at James’s suddenly formal tone.
“Good morning, Commander. Yes thank you. It was lovely to have you here sleeping next to me again…”
One of the advantages of being Quartermaster of MI6 was that he could keep in touch with his husband whenever he was on mission – in point of fact, most of the time it was a professional requirement. Another advantage was knowing when things had gone wrong and when James might need a little extra support on his return. Now he was more alert, Q saw the dark smudges under James’s eyes and guessed that his husband hadn’t actually slept at all. Quiet alarm bells rang as he saw the lines of tension on his face.
The mission was supposed to be a simple matter. Go to Bulawayo in Zimbabwe. Meet the contact. Negotiate the handing over of a thumb-drive which contained enough information to track and overthrow a warlord currently residing somewhere north of Mbuji-Mayi. There were rumours he was involved in transporting weapons for a larger terrorist network and MI6 wanted it nipped in the bud. Except it wasn’t that simple. Someone had known James was coming and six civilians, two of them children, were killed as the market place he sat in was raked by machine gun fire. Outwardly James was unscathed but Q knew that the death of innocents, especially children, hit him very hard indeed.
Some people who worked with James assumed that he was emotionless, that he was a machine with no feelings but after four years of being with him, Q had learned that he did indeed feel and very deeply at that. The nature of James’s job meant that, by necessity, he needed to be able to choose when to focus on the task at hand and when to process the kind of experiences that would horrify and permanently scar any ‘normal’ person. Marrying James had opened Q to the full extent of how he coped. All he usually needed was a little time and space post-mission. Q knew that directly asking James to discuss it would just shut him down into a stony, brooding silence that would most likely end with him at the bottom of a bottle somewhere. So instead of saying anything he hid his concern and sipped his tea, smiling his appreciation. If James needed his support Q didn’t doubt that he would let him know in his own time. All Q needed to be was patient.
“Mmm, this is good. Did you run before you shopped?” James nodded and stood up to take off the lightweight jacket that Q could now see was soaking wet. He threw it into the washing basket and his compression base layer shirt immediately followed. He returned to the bed bare-chested and sat down to unlace his trainers.
“It was lovely. I love going out there to breathe in the morning air before anyone else gets to use it. The rain makes everything seem fresh and clean. The smell of it reminds me of where I grew up… I made a point to run past St Paul’s down to the Thames on my way back. The river was a gorgeous slate grey colour in the rain…” He trailed off as he pulled off a shoe and stared at the floor for a moment. He didn’t have to say that he’d loved the grey because it was the antithesis of the bright blue sky and the vibrant colours of the Zimbabwean market place… and of the shining red blood. Q stroked James’s naked flank, gently distracting him from his dark thoughts.
“You’re gorgeous .” He grinned.
James tugged off his other shoe and sprawled back over Q’s legs. Grabbing his coffee he took a swig.
“You have to say that and I have the piece of paper to prove it Mr Bond,” he smiled and a little bit of the tension around his eyes disappeared. Q frowned at him playfully.
“Damn the small print on that marriage license. I knew I should have read it properly before I signed it. So. Gorgeous or not, you are sweaty beast. You realise you’re not getting back into this bed until you’ve showered, don’t you?”
James leaned up and kissed the side of Q’s mouth.
“Is that your way of getting me naked, wet and soapy, my love?”
“It’s my way of stopping you smelling like a wet dog…”
Their drinks were on the bedside table and Q was pinned down under James before he knew what was happening. He shrieked with laughter as he was summarily tickled. James rubbed his wet hair all over his face as Q tried ineffectually to get him in a headlock before attempting to twist one of his nipples in retaliation.
“Not fair! Not fair! No attacking the disabled guy!!” He laughed breathlessly.
His protestations tapered off as he got too busy trying to fend off the big, wet, open-mouthed kisses James was slobbering down his neck. Eventually the fight drained out of them and they began kissing properly. Q hummed with pleasure as James’s tongue pushed at his lips tasting of sweet and bitter coffee. He parted them and allowed him access before pushing back with his own tongue, chasing the taste. When they finally separated he looked James straight in the eye and said slowly;
“Wet. Dog. That. Needs. A. Shave.”
James laughed as he sat up.
“I guess I’d better get in the shower then. Care to join me?”
“I’ll follow you in. Give me a moment.”
James stood up and Q primly drank the rest of his tea as he watched him slide his running shorts and underpants off in one go. He lobbed the whole lot into the basket and then caught Q looking. He straightened up and, now dressed only in his sports socks, he shimmied his hips seductively.
“See anything you like?” He purred. Q drained his cup.
“God yes. Those socks really do it for me.” He deadpanned. “Go and slip on a pair of sandals with them and I’ll probably cream my pyjamas.” James laughed and whipped off the offending items. He turned and headed for the bathroom.
“Last one in the shower’s a rotten egg.”
Q smiled at his apparently five-year-old husband as he threw back the covers. He snagged his wheelchair that was waiting beside the bed. Swinging himself into it with practiced ease, he pushed himself after James. He rolled into the bathroom and straight to the toilet. With some wriggling he pulled down his pyjama-bottoms and got himself on. As he sat and peed he watched James as he stood by the sink and prepared his shaving foam.
He had finished and was taking his trousers all the way off as James turned on the twin shower jets at the other end of the room. They’d sacrificed their small third bedroom when they moved into the apartment so they could fit a wet-room style shower in next to the bath. It made Q’s access easier. James walked over to Q just was he was slipping off his t-shirt. When Q was younger he loathed anyone picking him up but now he smiled up at James and raised his hands to him.
“All done?”
“All done.”
He felt a thrill as James slipped his arms around him and lifted him effortlessly. He always acted as if Q was as light as a feather and he felt secure in his arms. He closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of their naked torsos pressing together. Q kissed the side of James’s neck as he was carried and wondered how old they would be before he wouldn’t be able to lift him anymore. He squeezed him tighter, momentarily surprised at the sudden rush of love he felt for his man.
“Tom?”
He knew that they were by the shower chair now and James was ready to set him down but he held on tight. He could feel the warm mist from the shower moistening his back. He kissed James again and buried his face in his neck as he ran his fingers through the back of his hair.
“I love you.” He whispered. He felt James huff out a breath.
“I love you too, you sexy beast.” He responded, “Let’s get cleaned up and back to bed and I’ll show you just how much.”
Q loosened his hold and James set him down. Planting his hands on the arms of the shower chair he shifted himself and got comfortable. Their showering setup was designed so that they could use it together or separately. There was a large mirror between the twin jets (Q’s was positioned two feet lower than James’s). In front of that were three glass shelves holding their toiletries. Q favoured a shaving oil and disposable razors and James his traditional sandalwood soap, badger brush and cut-throat razor. He watched as James lathered up his brush.
“Does it ever occur to you that you could shave like you’re actually in the 21st century?” He asked.
James studied his own face in the mirror as he begun smoothing the brush over his whiskers.
“When you’re a grown-up, my darling baby boy, and you manage something a little more substantial than the bum-fluff that you are currently producing on your chin, you will realise that real men require proper grooming.”
Q poked him.
“Oi. Less of the ‘baby boy’ shit. I’m thirty-five you know.” He grinned. James leaned over and kissed his cheek, smearing him in lather.
“When I am in my nineties and we live together in a beautiful nursing home on the south coast and are wheeled along the prom every day in our matching wheelchairs, you will still be my baby boy. You will always be my baby boy.”
Q revelled in the warm bloom in his chest that the implications James’s words had. In his nineties. James saw them being together for another forty years at least. Another lifetime to be had. These weren’t the words of the devil-may-care agent he’d first met in the British Museum… For all that James had done for him during their years together, little things like James looking ahead reminded Q that he’d done as much for him. He smiled to himself as he began to shave.
He finished quickly and, placing his glasses on the shelf above him, picked up his shower gel and a flannel. James’s body washes came from a boutique by Spitalfields Market and smelt gloriously of sandalwood and bergamot and a dozen other rich scents but Q had to content himself with a rather dull pH-neutral cleanser. Spending the best part of his days sitting in his chair (that, and being so slim) meant he had to care for his skin. In the first few years after the accident he’d suffered badly from pressure sores on his arse but he had a handle on it now. He quickly soaped up and watched as James removed his whiskers, wishing his eyesight was just a little better so he could see him more clearly without his glasses. Once clean he reached for his shampoo.
“I’ll do that.” James immediately said.
Q put his head under the shower spray and waited for James to finish his shave. He closed his eyes, enjoying the warm water falling on his hair. He shifted slightly and flexed his shoulders letting the spray hit the back of his neck. After a moment or two James’s hands guided him back out of the torrent before massaging a handful of cool shampoo onto his scalp. James moved to stand in front of him and Q leaned forward until his forehead was resting on his husband’s belly.
“God, I love your hair…” James said quietly.
Q kissed James’s stomach and nuzzled his nose into his belly button as James’s fingers continued their circular movements on his scalp. He smiled to himself when he felt James shiver. Liking the reaction, he kissed him again.
“Tom…”
James’s murmur was cautionary but he made no effort to stop him. Q smoothed his hands up the back of his thighs until they rested on his buttocks, cupping them. He held him steady as his kissed a little lower, the tight wet curls of James’s pubic hair springing back under his lips as he withdrew.
“Tom, I’m trying to wash your hair…”
“So? Wash it. I’m not stopping you.”
James’s cock was showing a distinct interest in proceedings so Q ducked and ran his tongue over the top of it earning himself a hiss from his husband.
“Were you safe?”
James didn’t ask for clarification. He simply tightened his grip on Q’s hair and muttered;
“Yes.”
That was all the invitation Q needed. He ducked his head again and took the entirety of James’s cock into his mouth. He tightened his grip on his arse as he staggered, steadying him as he worked. James hadn’t actually washed yet and he smelt and tasted deliciously musky from his run. Drawing back, he ran his tongue across the underside, worrying the frenulum for a moment before taking him in again. James whimpered as Q pressed his nose into his pubic hair, inhaling deeply before swallowing around him. Due to his disability, there were certain things Q would never be able to do with James so he prided himself on being very good at what he could manage. He pulled back and made several short bobbing motions before taking him in all the way again. Once he had him back down to the root he looked up at James, keeping his eyes as wide as he could despite the indirect spray of the shower. When their eyes met he swallowed again.
With a curse James came. Q kept his hands on his bum, encouraging him to bump his hips as he rode out his orgasm. He hummed with pleasure at the speed with which he’d brought James off. With a final lick he allowed him to pull his now-sensitive cock away. He immediately dropped his knees and kissed Q soundly, licking into his mouth and chasing the taste of his own come. He fisted his hands into his wet hair, pulling it roughly in his passion. Eventually he caught his breath back long enough to speak.
“Do you do that to all your hairdressers?”
“Only the naked ones.”
James laughed and kissed him again.
“That’s it. You’re never getting your hair cut again.”
With a final kiss he stood back up and rinsed Q’s hair out under the shower. He smoothed conditioner through it and then quickly washed himself. When he was clean he rinsed Q’s hair for a second time. Turning the taps off, James grabbed a towel from the rack by the door and, kneeling down again, dropped it over both their heads. Q reached up and began rubbing the soft material over James’s head, drying his hair, as James did the same for him. Once the drips had been taken care of James pulled the towel away and kissed his cheek.
“Would you like more tea with your breakfast?”
Q nodded.
“But of course. Do me a favour and push my chair over here before you go though, please.”
James did as he was asked, laying another towel over the seat of the wheelchair as Q put his glasses back on. He didn’t stay to help Q further, knowing that he could cope well enough. Q swung himself into the chair and stopped to brush his teeth before going back into the bedroom. James had straightened the bedding on his way through so it was a simple matter for him to get back into bed. He gazed at the ceiling and smiled to himself. He closed his eyes and remembered the beautiful sounds James had made as he was coming. He was such a lucky bastard to have him. His hand trailed down his body, idly scrubbing at the shock of wiry hair that surrounded his cock.
“Hands off. That’s my job.”
Q squinted up at James who was walking in with a laden tray. The enticing smell of warm croissants filled the room.
“It’s your job to scratch my balls?” he asked.
James laughed.
“I thought you were playing with your dick and that is definitely my job.” He placed the tray on the sideboard and picked up a jar of cream. “Right, before anything else; roll over for me, my lovely.”
Q groaned.
“Oh God, do I have to? I hate it when you do stuff like this…” He grumbled. James stood and waited patiently for Q to move. Realising that he wasn’t going to get his breakfast until he obeyed he rolled over. James helped him to shift so he could lie on his front. He buried his face in his pillow as he felt the first touch of the cool salve on his right buttock. James’s fingers lightly massaged the cream in. “I really hate this.” James moved to the other cheek.
“I know. You bitch about it every time I do it but why? Is it uncomfortable?” He asked.
Q thought for a moment.
“No, not really. It just makes me feel like a child. And I can do this myself you know.” he grumbled. James kissed the small of his back as he began massaging the cream into his thighs. Q suppressed a shiver. He knew that the place that James had pressed his lips to was covered with a dozen scars from where surgeons had tried, and failed, to put Humpty back together again following his accident.
“But… you said it helps prevent pressure sores and I like doing it… taking care of you I mean… and if it makes you feel good…” Q huffed and looked over his shoulder.
“I just feel like a baby having his nappy cream slapped on, that’s all.”
James finished what he was doing and kissed the side of his mouth.
“My baby boy…” He murmured.
Q rolled his eyes and laughed.
“I’m never going to win this argument, am I?”
James grinned as he helped Q sit up again.
“Not in our lifetime, no.”
He went to the sideboard and then returned to place the tray on Q’s lap. Q picked up a warm croissant and saw that James had filled it with his favourite cheese; Wensleydale with cranberries. He munched into it happily. James returned from washing his hands in the bathroom and sat down on the bed next to him. He began plastering a plain croissant with butter and honey.
“You’ll get fat.” He playfully chided him. James nodded.
“The day I retire and stop chasing terrorists I imagine I will. I’m looking forward to it.”
Q grinned and tried to imagine a retired James Bond. He found it surprisingly easy.
They ate slowly, chatting about Q’s week. James snorted inelegantly as Q updated him on the latest office scuttlebutt, namely a dreadfully tongue-tied attempt by Tanner to chat up Moneypenny.
“… so then poor old Bill digs himself an even deeper hole by taking so long to get to the point that by the time he actually stammered out that he wanted to take her out on a date, M had managed to sneak into the room without him noticing. Eve told me afterwards that she honestly thought Bill had crapped himself when M suddenly barked out his name and demanded to know what the bloody hell he thought he was doing. Apparently M thought he was being hilarious.”
James collected their plates onto the tray and put it all back onto the sideboard, laughing. Q took the opportunity to scoot down until he was lying flat.
“So did he get his date?”
“Oh yes. Eve took pity on him. Apparently they had a wonderful night and Bill is a particularly good kisser.”
“And you know this how?”
“G.B.F.”
James looked blank.
“’Gay Best Friend’.” he clarified, “Ever since we’ve been together, Eve’s been very forthcoming. I think she thinks if I hear all about her sex-life she’ll get to hear all about mine. She’s dying to know if you’re as good in bed as the rumours say.”
“I knew I should have slept with her in Macau…”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Me too. It would have been too weird.”
“So says the man who married his quartermaster…”
“That was different. I knew you were the one the moment I saw you.” James walked back over and perched on the side of the bed again, his eyes darkening.
“I love it when you’re like this.” James muttered, stroking down to Q’s inner thigh.
Q looked down at himself. His pale, too-thin torso ended in an untidy riot of dark pubic hair where his cock lay dormant. His legs were skinny, his thighs scrawny and wasted. His feet were only a size eight but compared to the thinness of his calves and ankles they looked huge and clown-like.
“How can you love all this?” Q asked him, honestly curious. “I’m nothing but skin and bone.”
James continued to stroke him; his thigh, his belly and his hip. Every second or third sweep he would briefly brush over Q’s genitals, his touch light and warm.
“You…” James began and then fell silent. He watched his hand’s path for a moment, looking like he was struggling to speak.
“Hey…” Q soothed. This was it; this was the moment he had been waiting for from the minute he saw that look on James’s face first thing that morning. The moment the cool and in control demeanour wavered. It had come sooner than Q had anticipated. He waited and eventually James composed himself enough to continue.
“You’re strong. You’re one of the strongest people I know. When I first met you… when I see you at work… you’re like the ruler of Q-branch, king of your domain.” He chuffed out a humourless laugh. “Master of all you survey. I’ve seen you save agents when all hope is lost, I’ve seen you take down dictatorships, I’ve seen you fight with such tenacity…” Q smiled but James kept his eyes on his smoothing, stroking hand. His face was solemn. “When you’re there, your wheelchair, your disability, it’s almost like it... it isn’t a part of who you are at all. It’s an inconvenience and not one you take any notice of.” Q reached out and placed his hand on James’s knee when he saw his eyes brighten with unshed tears. “But here, in this room, you reveal yourself to me. You allow me to see this. To see the broken side of you. This vulnerability… you… you trust me to take care of you. You show me your soft underbelly without hesitation.”
“I do it because I love you.”
James’s head dropped and his hand stilled, resting on Q’s stomach.
“Five days ago I had to fuck a woman I’d met an hour before so I could get access to the private wing of a nightclub. Four days ago you heard me kill a man with my bare hands over the comm line. Two days ago innocents were slaughtered because of me… I have blood on my hands and yet you still allow me to touch you.” His voice broke on the last word and he pulled his hands away then to cover his face. “I don’t know why the fuck you let me touch you.”
Q pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around James. He pulled him in close, tucking his face into the side of his neck. James’s body trembled as he buried his face in Q’s naked shoulder. Q ran his fingers through his hair, still damp from the shower. He held James in silence. This wasn’t really about them. This was about a marketplace seven and a half thousand miles away. Eventually, he spoke quietly into his ear.
“I let you in because you are a good man. You go out into the field and you risk your life for our country - for me - every single time. There’s nothing you won’t do, including the sex. Do I like that you get that physically close to other people? No. Do I admire you for being prepared to go to any lengths to complete a mission? God, yes.”
“Oh my love, this isn’t a perfect world – if it was I could still spend my winter holidays skiing. No-one can make the right decisions all the time. If we could we would have decided not to send you to the rendezvous, we would have realised the risk of your being compromised was too large but we didn’t and that’s on me as much as it is on you. As for your would-be assassin, don’t you think I realise I married a man who was prepared to kill? Do you think I could ever live with you doing what you do if you weren’t willing to?” He kissed James’s neck. “And as for letting you see my vulnerable side… before I met you, do you know how many times I allowed another person to carry me?” Q felt James shake his head. “Never. Not once. From the age of thirteen, from the moment I woke up and was told my family were dead and I’d never walk unaided again I fought anyone who tried. I couldn’t bear the idea of it, the idea of giving someone else that much control. Then I met you and the first night we made love you carried me to the bedroom. Do you remember?” James drew back and looked at Q, his eyes red and wet. He gave a watery smile.
“I remember.”
“There was a big part of me that freaked out about that. I hadn’t let anyone, doctors, physios or boyfriends lift me… and then there you were. Stripped down to your underpants,” James huffed out a small laugh at the memory, “acting like some kind of Tarzan claiming his Jane…” Q hooked a hand like an ape and scratched his armpit. “… dragging your knuckles across the living room carpet…”
“Hey!” A ghost of a smile stole over James’s lips as he realised he was being softly teased.
“I’m surprised you didn’t just drag me into the bedroom by my hair like some kind of Cro-Magnon man …”
James kissed Q to shut him up.
“Oi. I thought you were trying to make me feel better.”
“I thought I was trying to tell you how much I love you.”
James kissed him again and gently lowered Q back until he lay on the bed once more. He moaned as his husband began to kiss down his throat. Q watched him as he moved down over his flat stomach and nuzzled his pubic hair.
“I want to be good enough for you,” James murmured, “I’m selfish. I want you to love me as much as I love you. I want to take your love, your goodness, and wash myself clean in it. Wash away my sins… oh, my darling.” Q shuddered as James kissed his groin before resting his cheek on his hip. Q idly stroked his shoulder as they lay quietly and after a few minutes he spoke softly.
“If you love me, my darling, prove it. Make love to me.”
Q smiled as James got up went to his suitcase that was still sitting in the corner.
“Would you like to see what I’ve brought you?”
“You got me something?”
“I picked it up on my way to the airport when I was headed out on mission. It’s spent the last three weeks sitting in my car at Heathrow.”
He came back to the bed with a black and gold carrier bag.
“You didn’t bother to wrap it?”
“It’s not that kind of present.”
James sat down and upended the contents of the bag onto the bed. Q picked up the tube that rolled towards him.
“Spectra 360 Electrode Gel.” He read out, wondering where this was going. “Sounds vaguely ominous...” He watched as James opened the plain box next to it. He took out two bundles of straight wires, a couple of looped wires and what looked like a small black and silver butt plug. He placed them on the bed before taking out a control unit. “That looks like my old TENS machine.” Said Q.
“Hopefully it’s a bit more sophisticated than that,” James remarked as he handed it over for Q to examine. “I thought it might be worth a try-out.” Q turned the device over in his hands and read the label. It was an Estim machine.
Throughout their relationship James had gently pushed Q to be more adventurous sexually. At first they would just masturbate but one thing that Q loved about James was the way he would encourage him to try new things. Some things worked - getting James off using just a dildo had been one of the hottest things he’d ever done - but some things didn’t. He didn’t mind James fucking him for instance – the look on James’s face when he was inside him was one of his favourite things - but it didn’t do much for Q physically and that had disappointed his husband no end. He could get an erection a lot of the times that he tried but maintaining them was another kettle of fish entirely. James had been wonderful in any case. Quickly changing tactics if something didn’t work or Q didn’t like it.
“So what do you propose, Commander? Do I get to wire up your bollocks and give you a little shock treatment?” James smiled and took the box out of his hands.
“Not today my love. Today I want you to lie back and enjoy.”
He watched as James cleared off the bed. Q then allowed him to position him in the middle of it, lying flat on his back, a towel under his arse. James raised Q’s knees and pushed them apart. Q put his hands behind his head and smiled at James’s growing erection. Whatever he had in mind, it was exciting him. James took the box and quickly wired up the plug-shaped attachment. Picking up the lube he positioned himself beside his hip but instead of doing anything with it he simply smoothed his hand down over Q’s naked chest.
James didn’t speak but his hands began to move again, resuming their earlier stroking. He turned his head and kissed Q’s hip as Q felt the light touch of a finger between his legs, brushing over his arsehole.
“Oh James…”
The finger slowly circled his pucker as James began nuzzling his cock, peppering the soft flesh with light kisses. He inhaled sharply as the tip of the digit pushed in. James’s lips trailed up his cock, tickling it with his breath as he whispered.
“I love you Tom. I love you so fucking much.”
The finger withdrew but quickly returned lubricated. James eased it back inside and then slowly, carefully, pushed in another. Q shuddered as his husband licked the tip of his cock which was beginning to stiffen.
“James…”
James took the small plug, wiping his fingers clean momentarily. He then carefully pushed it into Q. It wasn’t too big – certainly not as big as the two fingers that had been stroking him moments before – and it slid in easily. It was slightly bulbous with a flared end which meant it lodged comfortably inside him. James’s eyes grew hungry as he looked at it nestled there.
“Gorgeous.” He muttered. He sat up and picked up the control unit. “Tell me if you like this.” He flicked a switch and then slowly turned one of the dials on it. Q shuddered as a tingling sensation began in his arse.
“D-different,” he gasped, “S’good!”
James settled between his knees and began to massage his balls lightly. He wasn’t fully hard yet but that was nothing new. It sometimes took him a while to get going. James had taught him some relaxation techniques which helped tremendously. It was amazing the way that he had shown him that a lot of Q’s previous problems had been due to him getting over-anxious about not being able to stay hard during sex. James had taught him to focus on enjoying the sensations rather than fretting about getting an erection. James kissed the inside of his thigh.
“I’m going to try something else…” A second later the sensation changed to one that rippled and alternated. “Any good?”
Q nodded.
“Mmmm yes, it feels like I’m being fucked but without any of the friction. I… I can’t quite explain it.” James chuckled and licked up his cock which was beginning to fill out.
“You’re doing so well. Let’s try something a little more intense.”
Q shouted and, if he’d been able to, he’d swear his hips would have lifted clear off the bed. The sensation had changed again and now it felt like a vibrator was piercing the very core of him. He reached above his head and grasped the headboard, his fingers curling around the ornate ironwork.
“Oh my God. Oh God.”
“Want me to stop it?”
“Don’t you fucking dare!”
James chuckled as Q shuddered, his thighs trembling. He’d joked to James once that they did that when he was excited because the messages from his brain telling his toes to curl got all fucked up right around there. He really didn’t know if it was true or not but James found it endearing that his thighs quivered when he was really turned on. James ducked his head and kissed his balls.
“It seems to be working… You’re so hard. What do you need?”
Q began to pant.
“Touch me? Stroke me. Please James.”
James took their regular lube and poured a generous amount of it into his fingers and smeared it between his hands, coating them. Kneeling up, he lightly began stroke Q. He looked him in the eye.
“Will this make you come, do you think?” James asked in a tight voice. Q looked up at him, wondering at the tone of his speech but the dual sensations of the internal faux-vibration and the external stroking hand made it difficult for him to think.
“Maybe… maybe if you gripped me a little harder, turned up the intensity on that thing…”
James smiled.
“Close your eyes then love. Just feel it.”
Q did as he was told and gasped as the Estim was turned up. He’d never done this before. He’d never come just from James stroking him. His scrambled up nerves demanded vibration to be applied directly to his cock for him to orgasm but now, oh God now, with the electronic device within him sending tiny jolts through him, causing his spasming muscles to mimic the vibration he needed… He was so fucking close.
“Keep your eyes closed my love…”
Q screwed his eyelids tight shut, willing himself to obey as he sensed James climb up over him. He felt the touch of James’s tongue on his lips and he opened his mouth, greedily kissing him as he pressed down. Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, James pulled away and grasped the base of his cock. He whispered;
“Look at me.”
He opened his eyes and saw his husband straddling him. James’s erect cock drooling precome onto Q’s belly. As he watched, James slowly lowered himself onto him. Q sobbed. This… He… They’d never managed this before. They’d tried but they’d never got the timing just right, Q always losing his erection at just the wrong time or not getting hard enough in the first place but now... Oh fuck, it was stunning. He gasped as the head of his cock slipped past the tight ring of muscle. Q’s hands shook as he reached out and smoothed James’s thighs. Reaching further, he slipped his fingers around James’s cock as he began to move his hips back and forth. Q’s mouth hung open as he took in the sight of James riding him and the feeling of his tight arse gripping him. He was almost speechless. Every word in the English language escaped him except those three which were perhaps the most important;
“I love you.”
James leaned over him and kissed him, his hips still moving.
“I love you too.”
He sat up and pushed out his chest, his head falling back as he increased the pace of his movements.
“Jesus, Tom. I’m so close. You’re going to make me come. Will you come for me my love? Are you going to come inside me?” He tilted his head further back revealing the long, smooth line of his neck. Q tightened his grip and quickened his stroking, twisting his wrist and dragging his thumb up over the head of James’s cock. For one horrible doubting moment Q thought that, despite it all, it might not be enough and that his body would betray him once again but then with a roar and a sudden spasm James came. His stomach muscles rippled as wave after wave of come spattered up Q’s chest, his neck and even onto his face. James’s rhythm faltered as his tight channel convulsed and gripped Q’s cock with a vice-like force. Q shuddered at the increased sensation and instinctively licked his lips. He tasted James’s semen and that was it. Sobbing, he dug his fingers into James’s thighs, arched his back and screamed out as everything – the taste, the physical sensations and the emotions – all coalesced into one perfect moment of blinding pleasure.
When he came back to himself James was carefully removing the probe.
“Are you OK? I thought I’d broken you for a minute there…”
Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded. His emotions swirled as he tried to process what James had just done for him. He’d never…
“I fucked you.” He whispered. His breath hitched and for a second he thought he was going to cry. He took a shuddering gasp of air and the tightness in his chest eased. Tossing the equipment aside and pulling the towel out from under Q, James began to gently wipe the sweat and semen off his body. He smiled as he leant over him to kiss him. He stroked his temple.
“I knew we’d get there eventually. I knew there had to be a way.”
“You planned this… you knew…”
James shook his head.
“I didn’t know anything for sure. I hoped that with the Estim you’d be able to fuck me but if this hadn’t of worked out I would have tried something else. I would have spent my life trying.”
“Why did it mean so much to you? It was just one little thing. After all the other things we’ve managed…”
James threw the towel aside and laid down next to him. He rested his head on Q’s shoulder.
“It wasn’t a little thing though, was it? I saw the look you’d get when we talked about sex or watched porn and I knew it meant a lot to you that you’d never managed to before…”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say anything,” James kissed his cheek. “Although I would rather like to get you screaming like that again sometime soon.”
Q smiled and wrapped his arms around him. James tugged on his hip and rolled him until they lay pressed together, chest to chest and belly to belly. Q hummed and ran his hand up James’s back. They lay quietly, both enjoying the silent closeness until Q eventually smiled and chuckled.
“I fucked you.”
James grinned.
“Yes, you did.”
“I had the super-secret agent Commander James Bond on my dick.”
“Hey…”
“I can’t wait to tell Moneypenny…”
James abruptly rolled them until Q was under him.
“I can’t possibly allow you to do that. I’m afraid I’m going to have to keep you in this bed for ever.”
“And will you make love to me for ever?” Q asked quietly.
James kissed him softly.
“You know I will.”
They fell asleep still wrapped around each other and when they awoke again, Q made them lunch and more tea. They spent a merry couple of hours lazing around in bed eating, reading the Sunday papers online and dozing before James ran them a bath. Q sighed after James helped him in and settled him with his back up against his chest.
“Are you working tomorrow?” He asked.
Q nodded.
“I’m afraid so. 004 should be arriving in Belize around ten in the morning and she’ll need me to co-ordinate satellite cover.”
“Can’t you stay here instead? I could keep you naked and spoil you rotten.”
Q laughed.
“I would love to,” he murmured, turning his head to kiss the underside of James’s jaw, “but I have too much to do.”
James sighed but Q knew that he hadn’t really expected any other answer – he knew Q too well.
“In that case I shall go in to my office and complete my mission report, pausing regularly to come to Q-Branch to feed you and bring you tea and perform completely inappropriate public displays of affection towards you.”
Q smiled and stroked James’s forearm which was wrapped around his chest supporting him.
“Same as usual then.”
They fell into a comfortable silence. The water was cooling and Q had begun to think that James had nodded off when he spoke again.
“How would you feel…” He trailed off and Q glanced around at him. Bond kissed his temple. “How would you feel if I were in the office more often?”
“I’d probably have to ban you from Q-Branch to stop you from annoying me constantly.”
James squeezed him gently.
“I mean it. What if I… didn’t go out into the field so often? Anymore?”
Q flailed as he tried to turn around to see if James was serious.
“Are you thinking of retiring from the field?” he asked, incredulous.
“I think so. I mean, I never used to think I’d be able to retire. I thought I’d die on-mission like so many of my contemporaries and for the longest time I was OK with that. Queen and country. The ultimate sacrifice and all that. I find I’m not now so much. I find myself getting selfish in my old age. I want you Tom. I want the life we have together here.”
Q laid his head back on his chest, taking hold of James’s hands and lacing their fingers together. He wrapped their arms around himself firmly.
“Whatever makes you happy, James. You know I’ll support you whatever you decide. Although I can’t help but feel a little relieved at the thought of you not being shot at for a living. Have you thought what you might do instead?”
“Not sure. I’d have to speak to M.”
“Maybe you could work as a security advisor.”
“Maybe.”
“Train new recruits?”
“God no. I can’t imagine anything worse.”
Q grinned. James wasn’t known for his patience. He’d probably end up murdering them.
“You could totally retire and be a house-husband. Send me off to work with a packed lunch every morning; have my dinner ready for me every night…”
Q paused for a moment.
“Raise our kids…”
James’s arms tightened around him and he seemed to stop breathing. Q guessed James’s dreams of being retired hadn’t extended to include a family. He wondered if he’d gone too far in suggesting it before James let out a shaky breath.
“We could have children,” He whispered, sounding awe-struck. “We could adopt. Children who were orphaned like me… like us.”
Q squeezed his hands.
“Calm down Daddy Warbucks, let’s think about getting you retired from active duty first eh?”
“OK.” James laughed.
“In any case, I insist we get a cat first.”
“A cat?”
“Yes, and if we manage to keep that alive then we can think about actual human beings.”
James chuckled, kissing his hair.
“It’s a deal but we’re getting a manx. I’m not having you running over the poor sod’s tail all the time…”
Q laughed and James supported his waist as he lent forward to reach the taps and top up the hot water. They settled back, thinking about their future and enjoying the renewed warmth until James complained his arse was going numb and they grudgingly got out.
James helped Q get ready for bed, Q indulging him by allowing him to pat him dry before reapplying the cream and helping get him dressed in his nightclothes. James placed him gently in his wheelchair and then they moved into the lounge where they watched television and ate the Chinese takeaway that James had ordered them. After yet another viewing of the film “The Naked Gun” (honestly, who’d of guessed James was such a fan?) they decided on an early night.
Tucked up together in the darkness, James spooned up behind Q, kissing his neck. He moved his hand under Q’s loose t-shirt to stroke his warm, bare stomach with his fingertips. Q was dozing when James spoke.
“Did you mean what you said today?”
Q muzzily stirred.
“Which bit, Lover?”
“The bit where you said I was a good man.”
Q shifted, pushing sleep away more firmly.
“Yes.” He said honestly. “You’ve done so much for me. I was… when we met I thought I was independent and in control. Now I think I was just angry at what had happened to me and frightened that I might never find anyone who would love me. I used all that negative emotion to drive myself mercilessly and to push everyone else away.” James kissed his neck again. “I was so screwed up that when you first came on to me I couldn’t even see it. I never believed… Even after we started dating you would kiss me goodnight and I would tell myself I was reading it wrong, that it wasn’t what I thought.” He placed his hand over the one stroking his belly. “You showed me I could be loved. You showed me I was… normal.” James lightly licked his neck.
“I wouldn’t go that far…” he joked quietly.
Q’s fingers played over the back of James’s hand and he smiled. He knew by James’s joking that he was starting to embarrass him. He carried on regardless.
“You loved me so much. You helped me without dominating me… you were there for me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. A bad man couldn’t have done that. A selfish man wouldn’t have. Despite everything, despite everything you’ve done and seen in the field, everything that’s happened to you… You took the time to woo me. To seduce me. Why would you do that if you weren’t a good man?”
“Did it ever occur to you that I might’ve just had a thing for wheelchair porn?”
It was testament to Q’s quick reactions that he managed to elbow James in the gut twice before he was pinned and kissed soundly. He reached up in the darkness, both of them laughing, and gripped James’s hair, holding his head so he would feel Q’s next words as breath on his lips.
“You loved me when I didn’t believe I could be loved.” He said quietly. Their lips touched briefly.
He smoothed his fingers over James’s face, much as a blind man would. “I was so lucky to have met you…”
“I was luckier…”
They continued to kiss until they drifted off to sleep in a close embrace.