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“you left.” thanatos’ jaw is clenched as he speaks and zagreus is at a loss; he’s never seen him so angry before. no, not merely angry. that alone might have been preferable to the raw pain he recognizes in the man’s tone. “not only once. you continue to consciously choose to leave all of us behind, to leave me behind, all for this maniacal crusade of yours, over and over again. and if, by some miracle, you had been able to remain upon the surface, would you have done it?”
zagreus’ eyes fall to the floor. he thinks of the surface, of the warmth of the sun, of the lilt of his mother’s laugh, the touch of her skin as she caresses his cheek. he thinks of his father’s house, of the man he’s never understood nor felt understood by, of the many halls that were home in name but never really in essence, of the many tasks he was always one half-step short of being able to complete to his father’s demands. he doesn’t have an answer.
thanatos’ lips press into a grim line.
“i have work to do. i’ll be going first.”
“wait!”
something comes over zagreus then, and with speed rivaling even that of hermes he reaches out to catch thanatos’ hand. the god of death whirls around, eyes flashing in surprise as they widen, mouth agape in a gasp. intriguing. zagreus has never seen that look on him before. he likes it.
“than, please don’t just disappear.” he subconsciously tightens his grip on thanatos’ hand, who pointedly pretends not to notice. “just.. can i explain? please? you can leave right after.”
“your father expects me to-”
“my father trusts and respects you. if anything, just mention my involvement and any admonishment will come my way instead.” zagreus knows now may not be the time for a lopsided grin to appear on his face, but it's not like he can control it. “besides, i’m sure the mortals won’t complain about a few extra minutes among the living, now will they?”
thanatos refuses to look at him, eyes glued to the wall. he doesn’t move his hand. “then speak, if you must. and make it quick.”
“okay.” zagreus takes a deep breath to steel himself. “look, i can’t say anymore whether or not i would stay up there if i could. i mean, i’ve been here all my life but... it’s my mother. my birth mother. and she’s wonderful, and the fleeting moments we’re allowed are never enough. but, even though it feels odd to say, i know that there’s a lot i would miss being gone. a lot of people i would miss.” zagreus doesn’t miss the twitch in thanatos’ eyebrow at that. “in any case, i would never just abandon you forever, than. i could never. i adore my mother, but…” he pauses, unsure of when he made the decision to say it, but suddenly entirely sure of the decision nonetheless when he opens his mouth to speak again.
“that doesn’t mean i don’t love you, too, than,” he says.
thanatos does look at him then, eyes flying to zagreus’ face. that expression is back, but there’s more underneath the astonishment. a fondness. an elation.
“i… well.. that… y-you…” all at once he’s turning, hand falling from zagreus’ grasp as a cloud of smoke falls over them both beneath a spluttered “i’ve got to go.”
zagreus blinks twice, stares at the empty space in his room where the god of death stood not 15 seconds prior. then, he laughs a bit to himself. perhaps that may have been too soon, he thinks before shaking his head and trudging off once again to the armory.
“hope to see you on the battlefield again, than.”