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I hate you, I hate you, I hate you—
Your heart thunders in your chest as a broad and calloused palm spans your ribcage and moves roughly up under your haori to cup your breast. You can feel the grit of the stone wall digging into your back, but you wouldn’t care right now even if it was the claws of another demon. You and Shinazugawa Sanemi had fought in perfect sync in the old shrine to destroy a large family of demons before he lunged for you after the final killing blow, and it wasn’t for the reason you would have expected.
I hate you, Shinazugawa—
You feel yourself melt into him as his tongue invades your mouth, hungry to taste you. Your fingers dig into his hard shoulders as you hook your leg around his in a desperate attempt to hike yourself up on his thigh for even slightest bit of delicious friction.
Why couldn’t you just let me hate you?
A needy moan escapes you as Sanemi deepens the kiss with a harsh clash of teeth, sucking on your lower lip as he tries to pull you into him even deeper. Everything about him is crude and unpolished, but he tastes like mint floating in spring water, earthy and fresh like a pine forest after a hard rain. You gasp into the kiss as your fingers twine into his white hair, pulling just enough to make him moan low in his throat.
A rough hand sweeps down to your waist and pulls closer and flush against him. You can feel how hard he is already through the fabric of his uniform as you grind yourself against him and he lets out the tiniest sound of need as he pushes back.
“What—“ he breaks away with a gasping breath, “the actual fuck—“
Your catch your own breath for a second and feel your pulse flutter as you look back at him and take him in, even more wild-eyed and disheveled than usual. He gives a quick sweep of a glance over your face before he dives into your neck, breathing in deep under your ear as he licks the corner of your jaw and starts sucking a bruise into the side of your neck. It feels so good that it leaves you lightheaded.
You started it, and I still hate you.
You let out a breathless laugh as reality sinks in.
“How long have you been holding back?” you tease, still incredulous and mildly suspicious of his motives. Ever since you joined the ranks of the hashira you’ve been keenly aware of the nebulous hate for you harbored by Sanemi, growing steadily with every interaction but kept somewhat in check by his dedication to the corps. The rude comments, the cutting remarks, all those “accidental” shoves into a wall when no one is looking—you want to hate him. You really, really do. But you’re always left wanting more because he’s at least thinking about you.
“Fuck you, I never even thought about it,” he mutters into the warmth of your neck as he presses kisses along your jaw and runs his tongue along your exposed collarbone. His knee comes up even higher between your legs and you let out a hungry, helpless whine as you try to grind yourself against him, anything to relieve the ache in your core.
Liar. I still hate you.
You bristle inside as a weird part of you feels like you’re giving in, like he’s winning something. You pull on his hair a little harder, with a little more purpose, but Sanemi just groans as he relishes it.
Of course you like that, you fucking freak.
You feel the quick nip of teeth at your throat, a harsh thumb over your nipple through the bindings under your uniform. An iron thigh grinding up in between your legs, the solid wall of heat towering over you and pushing hard against you. The heady scent of fresh balsam as Sanemi overwhelms you.
I hate you….
That little voice inside you—whatever is left of your pride, maybe—gets quieter and more distant as you fall into the man holding you up against a crumbling wall and taking in all he can with the hunger of someone starving.
"You just had”—a hard kiss sucking a bruise to the base of your neck—“to get“—a rough hand pulling your haori and bindings down and off to expose your skin—“in my way“—a searing mouth on your breast—“on my mission....”—a final mumble as warm lips find your nipple, making you moan as heat pools between your thighs.
“Excuse me, your mission?” you gasp out as his words register.
He glances at you with those insane eyes that look like whirlwinds themselves and sucks harder, his tongue flicking your nipple with more purpose one last time before he pulls back and focuses his glare, unaware of a thread saliva still connecting him to you.
“I’m senior to you and you know it,” he hisses before kneeling down front of you and roughly unbuckling your belt.
“Are you kidding me?” Your hips buck slightly at the sight of him kissing lower down your stomach. “We’re as senior as it gets, you fucking asshole,” you moan as he pulls down your uniform trousers and exposes your heated skin to the cool night air.
“And I got there first,” he says curtly, shrugging out of his open haori while he looks you over like you’re his next meal. “So you defer to me.”
He pulls your hips towards his face and inhales your scent with a groan, pressing his nose hard into your underclothes and licking at the damp cloth.
“That’s not—” You squeeze your eyes shut and try to collect yourself as his nose grinds into your clit. “—how it—ah!” Your knees buckle in on themselves as Sanemi pulls the fabric down and traces a thick finger along your slit. “—works!”
You look down through heavy lids to see Sanemi grinning like maniac, pupils blown so wide that his lilac eyes just look black and all the madder. His hands come down around your ass to scoop you up before you crumble completely, and he guides you over him so smoothly that you feel like you float down to straddle his face as he falls back into the thick moss covering the paving stones.
“No?” Sanemi slides his grip down your thighs and behind your knees to pull you into that grinning death’s head of a mouth. “You’ve been so desperate for me this whole time—” he says, but you can hardly hear his muffled words as he buries his face between your legs.
“….Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” he adds as he pulls back for a breath before diving back in with a stifled moan.
The heat of his tongue makes your eyes roll back in your head. You look down to see Sanemi licking a broad path from your hole to your clit, eyes flicked upwards to make sure you’re watching his lewd display. Satisfied with your attention, he closes his eyes and swirls his tongue around your clit before he sucks hard, and you lean back to clench your fists in the clothes piled around you. Anything to keep some kind of connection to earth as you lose yourself grinding into his mouth. Anything to distract from the heat racing up your chest and your heaving breaths as your arousal builds.
Sanemi is ruthless, flicking your clit in his mouth as he moans in the back of his throat. He lets up only to lick down and enter you with his tongue, saliva running down his chin in his desperation. His fingers are digging into your ass, pulling you harder in to his face like he wants to suffocate himself on your cunt and die a happy man.
“Holy fuck, how are you like this—?” you gasp out your confusion as you arch your back, rocking your hips against his mouth. Sanemi answers only with the most depraved of groans in the back of his throat as he builds a merciless rhythm of broad glides against your clit alternating with short fluttering flits and flicks. You writhe against him, rolling your hips by instinct against the brutal pace of that tongue, feeling the coiling tension starting to build deep in your core. You can’t tell if the warmth running down from your cunt is Sanemi’s saliva or your arousal. Your thighs start to tremble as you ride his face hard, your clit throbbing and your heart racing with your mounting orgasm.
“Sanemi, I’m—” You close your eyes and pant as you brace yourself with one arm behind you and the other against his head to hold him in place as you ride his tongue. “I, I’m cumming—!” you stammer out, every word punctuated by the buck of your hips.
Your nipples pebble as that familiar heat races down to your core and you’re sent crashing over the edge. You feel the tension snap as your muscles tighten and your orgasm rolls through your body like it’s been hooked and pulled right out of you, a resonating pulse you can’t control. Your thighs quake as you ride it out, your walls fluttering in rhythmic clenches that Sanemi can feel with his mouth.
“Fuck, yes—cum on me, cum in my mouth,” Sanemi moans against your cunt as he feels your orgasm break over you. The heat of you against his face has his cock twitching as his hips jerk up to nothing, desperate for contact.
The tremors lessen as you come down from your high, sweat cooling on your skin as you catch your breath and the tilting of your hips gradually slows. Sanemi gives light, gentle licks, relishing when you jerk from even the lightest touch to your overstimulated clit.
“Oh my god,” you breathe as you float back down to earth from what has to be one of the most intense orgasms of your life. You look down to see Sanemi trailing soft kisses along your thighs wherever he can reach before meeting your eye with an arched eyebrow, looking quite pleased with himself even from his position underneath you.
“Mm, like I said...” he purrs in between soft licks to the bruises he’s sucked on your skin, “...you defer to me.”
“You’re such an asshole,” you whisper as your head falls back, your mind so pleasantly vacant that Sanemi’s smugness doesn’t even infuriate you this time.
After one final moment basking in the afterglow you swing a leg back and slide down to settle along his body, propping yourself up on your elbows over his face to really look at him, nearly nose to nose. You take in his tousled hair, the flush of his cheeks, the wild eyes—he always looks like he’s been caught in a windstorm. When you smooth his hair back and kiss along the deep scars running across his forehead, he inhales sharply in surprise but stays quiet, even slowly turning his head for more.
“Such an asshole,” you murmur again as you trail your lips along the scar that cuts across his cheekbone and down to his ear, where you graze the cartilage lightly with your teeth until he shivers. You run your tongue down along his jaw and kiss the column of his throat, sucking your own marks into his pale skin.
Oh I defer to you, alright.
You smile into the soft spot under the corner of his jaw as the needy noise he makes in the back of his throat urges you on. He’s grinding against your leg and you feel his cock twitch through his loose hakama pants, begging for attention. You push your thigh up against him until you hear another quick draw of his breath and the muscles in his chest tense under your fingers as you slide your hand slowly down along his heated skin.
Your mission indeed.
You smirk to yourself as your hand ghosts over his bulge, impossibly hard and radiating heat you can feel through the cloth. You rub him through the fabric as you trail kisses across his collarbone and down his chest, going deliberately slower as you realize how lovely it would be to have Sanemi begging under you.
He’s squirming already. You can feel goosebumps rising under your lips as you brush your lips along the hard outlines of his abs and trace your tongue along every brutal scar. A quick glance upwards yields a satisfying sight: Sanemi’s eyes shut tight, his brow furrowed, lips parted as his breath comes out in soft pants. He’s writhing under you already, desperate for more contact with his impatient cock as his hips buck into your palm.
Your hand slips under the waistband of his trousers and touches him just before you think he’s going to break. He jumps slightly the coolness of your hand before arching his back and pressing his erection harder into your palm. You can see his pulse thundering in his neck, and his breaths are so quick that you wonder if he’s about to cum already from just this brief contact. You run your hand up and down his length at a devastatingly slow pace, feeling him twitch as you swipe your thumb around the pre-cum already leaking from the tip.
“Please—“ Sanemi whispers, so softly you almost miss it.
“Hmm?” You feel devilish delight at hearing that word. “Please what?” you ask in as innocent of a tone as you can muster.
Sanemi’s eyes snap open to meet yours with a searing glare when he realizes what he’s done.
You bat your lashes and tighten your grip on him to pump him slowly until he gives in again, head falling back with a sigh in a rare moment of surrender.
“Please—more….”
This is too good. You hum to yourself in contemplation as you consider.
“Are you sure?” You undo his belt and unbutton his hakama pants in no hurry. “More of what? This?”
Sanemi’s cock springs free of its confines and he can only moan in response.
“Or this?”
He looks down again and his eyes get wide as you hold his gaze and run your tongue up the length of his shaft and tease around the head before you part your lips to take him in completely.
“Fuck!” Sanemi cries out as he’s engulfed in the heat of your mouth. He’s far larger than anyone you’ve ever been with, but that just arouses you further as you resolve to try to take him as deep as you can.
Sanemi’s breathing gets ragged as he reaches down to hold the back of your head, but taking care not to force you down. Not that you would mind at this point, and you moan around him at the thought. There’s something so deliciously depraved about your mouth full of his cock, the tip nudging at the back of your throat as you try to relax and take it deeper. You can't tell if it’s the thought or the physical action that makes you salivate. It runs down the part of Sanemi’s shaft you can’t quite take and slicks your hand working the base.
“Holy fuck, that—that’s it….” Sanemi stutters out as he bucks his hips into your mouth, quickly losing his composure. He’s falling apart with your every move, but forcing himself to watch you even though he knows it will make him cum faster. He tries to center himself, to control his breath—anything to keep from losing control and fucking your throat like he really wants to.
You can feel him falling apart under you, and if your mouth wasn’t full of his dick you would be laughing with pure menacing delight. Instead you channel your energy into sucking harder, keeping rhythm with one hand at the base and the other gently playing with his balls until he nearly loses it. Anything to get him to cry out again, anything to get him to beg for you. You can feel yourself dripping already and you moan around him as you shift to try to rub your thighs together to relieve that ache.
“Holy fuck—if you keep going—“ Sanemi pants, chest heaving with a flush painting his skin all the way down his sternum, hands stroking your hair and shaking with the urge to push you down further, watching you relax your throat and take him nearly to the hilt. It’s too much. Your swollen lips, the wet heat of your mouth—he closes his eyes as he shivers with the growing urge to cum.
“Fuck, I’m—fuck!“
You feel his release fill your throat as he chokes on the words. His balls draw up tight and his cock twitches in your mouth as his gut tightens and you feel him empty himself down your throat. You nearly gag on the sudden warmth flooding the back of your throat, but you swallow dutifully and don’t dare pull away as he rocks his hips up into your mouth in a silent cry. Sanemi’s eyes shut tight and he surrenders himself to the force of his orgasm, the kind he hasn’t felt in ages and never with another person—the kind that leaves him panting and breathless, shuddering with sensitivity and silently heaving in its wake.
You let his softening cock slip gently out of your mouth and look up to see him catching his breath with his head tipped back, running a shaking hand through his wild hair as he tries to collect himself again.
Did I ever really hate him?
He doesn’t react as you crawl up to quietly lay yourself down alongside him. All he does is bring his arm up around your shoulders to pull you closer after the sweat cooling on your skin and the chill of the stone beneath you makes you shiver.
“Sanemi?” You look up at him, not at all used any kind of silence from him. You can feel his heart pounding through his ribs.
“Hmm.” He gives a swallowed grunt of acknowledgment before he swipes his hand down his face and clears his throat.
You nestle in closer to him and drape your leg over his. You want him to feel how wet you are, but the sight of him spent like this has you feeling a little tender, even when you thought you hated him less than an hour ago.
“You okay?”
He swallows hard and opens his eyes, finally looking at you. His smirk comes back and he shrugs one shoulder.
“I suppose.”
Maybe I still hate him a little.
“Enjoyed that, did you?”
“It was alright.”
But he’s smiling as he says it, and it’s a wry, teasing sort of smile that makes your stomach flutter.
Or maybe not.
He runs his hand down your side, splaying out over your middle and around the curve of your ass as he pulls you in closer to him. You watch his eyes linger on your breasts pressed up against him, the soft dip of your waist, the arch of your hip. He can feel your heat along his thigh when you move against him.
You study the scars running across his stomach and arms and wonder about how he got each one. You know he sees them as prizes, battle scars he’s so proud of collecting that he leaves his uniform open to the waist. But, oddly, he doesn’t ever talk about them. And as loud as he is, he never seems to say anything about himself. Look, but don’t touch. Don’t ask and don’t come near. You wonder how many others have ever had a quiet moment like this with him. It can’t be many.
That warm, calloused hand hasn’t stopped wandering. You watch in silence as it moves up your side again, fingers dancing lightly on your soft skin. Training as a hashira has toned you, but you’ve managed to retain some soft curves that Sanemi seems to enjoy. You like the dichotomy of your two forms: one hard and rough and obviously deadly, the other soft and smooth, but just as lethal.
Your breath quickens as his fingers travel further upwards and trace a path around the curve of your breast. His thumb brushes against your nipple, already hard in the cool night air. He does it again when he notices how the flick makes you shiver and squirm under his arm.
“So sensitive,” he whispers into your hair.
“Mmm…I suppose you could say so.” You shift again as Sanemi thumbs your nipple with more purpose.
“Then I’ll have to give these the proper attention they deserve,” he murmurs as he turns to face you and moves down until he’s level with your tits. He meets your eyes again as he traces his tongue around your nipple, teasing it lightly before laving it with his tongue until you moan. You turn over to give him a better angle and he takes your other breast in his mouth, sucking and licking until you’re squirming under him again to try to ease the ache pulsing through your core. Every lick and flick against your hard nipples seems to reverberate in your clit to the point that you feel twice the stimulation even though you’re clenching around nothing.
You can feel how hard he is again already, rutting against your leg as he sucks and plays with your tits and it’s nothing short of erotic.
“Wait,” you gasp out, pulling his head up gently by that wild white hair. “Stop or I’m going to cum just from this—I need to feel you first. Fuck me first.”
You feel his cock twitch at your words.
“You want this?” He crawls up level with you again and cages you in between his arms as he grinds against you, letting you know how impossibly hard he is. You angle your leg higher to put pressure against him with your thigh.
He leans in slowly and brings his face in close, his lilac eyes dark and half-lidded with lust. “You want me to finally fuck you?” You feel his breath hot against your mouth.
This sudden shift from soft to predatory throbs all the way through you to your cunt.
“Tell me how you want me to fuck you,” he whispers, his lips barely ghosting over yours.
You can only give a slight whimper as he pushes your legs apart with his knee.
“Tell me.” The blunt tip of his cock nudges into your folds and stops just short of your entrance. “Tell me how you want me to fuck you.”
“Fuck, Sanemi—“ You bite your lip and try to push onto him, but he moves his hips back just to taunt you. He brings a hand up to gently hold your throat and turn your head to make you look at him.
“What did I ask?” He gives a light squeeze, the tiniest of warnings that makes you close your eyes and moan, desperate to feel him inside you.
“Please, Sanemi—” The ache inside you is almost unbearable. “I need you to fuck me,” you gasp out as you try to push yourself down onto him.
“And are you going to be a good girl?” His tip teases your entrance again, hot and cruel.
“Yes! Yes, I’ll be good—“
He drives into you hard and without warning. You gasp as you’re finally filled, wincing at that perfect hint of pain with the stretch.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans as he slowly pulls almost completely out before slamming back into you again. “Fuck, you are so tight—”
You can’t even form words as he sets a punishing pace, pounding into you with harsh snaps of his hips that reverberate up through your body so hard you can feel it in your teeth. The sound of skin striking skin fills the quiet of the night, punctuated only by your moans and his whispered curses hissed hot into your neck.
The tight clench of your walls around him sets something off in Sanemi that quickly turns feral. His breathing gets ragged as he fucks into you hard while he turns your head to look at your face and see your reaction to every thrust. He drives into you with raw and reckless strength, hitting that sensitive spot on your front wall with every plunge in a way that makes you see white behind your eyelids.
Without warning he pulls out and grabs you by the waist to flip you over onto your knees and pulls you back to bury himself in you again. His fingers dig into your hips hard enough that you know they’ll leave bruises for you to admire in the coming days, and you moan as you push yourself back to fuck yourself on his cock.
“So fucking tight,” Sanemi groans, fingers digging into the plush of your ass. “So tight, so wet for me—“
The raw need in his voice can only make you whimper. His name is on your tongue, but you’re so lost in this heady moment of pure pleasure that you can’t even form words. You arch your back and pant through your open mouth, feeling everything and letting your body take over. Every sensation feels amplified—every thrust, every contact of skin, every delicious slide of friction as Sanemi pounds into you like a man possessed.
He eases his bruising grip on your hip to reach around and rub circles on your clit, slick with your wetness and sweat, and you feel it again—that gradual rise of pressure in your lower core, that feeling of your word about to tip on its axis— and you let out a guttural cry as your thighs start to shake and your gut tightens, biting your lip until your taste the metallic hint of blood.
“I can feel you—fuck, I know you’re close,” Sanemi chokes out, his voice tight with effort to hold on just a little longer, just until he can feel you shatter around him. “Let go for me, cum with me—“
“Sanemi—I—“ But you can’t get the words out before you break, the tension snapping inside you so hard that you see white and pulse around him, your wet release coating his hand and your thighs.
Sanemi holds on for a couple more stuttering thrusts before he slams you back onto him one final time and empties himself deep inside you with one final guttural, choked-off groan. You feel his release tear through his body as he curls over you, pulling you tight against him and biting into your shoulder to muffle the hoarse moans he can’t hold back as he cums.
You both stay like that for a few seconds, suspended in place as you come down from your highs together. Sanemi rests with an ear against your back and hears your heart pounding through your ribs, and he wills his own to slow so he can memorize the steady beat through your skin.
Eventually he pulls you up to lean back against him as he kneels behind you, and he brushes the damp hair sticking to your neck aside to press a trail of kisses under your ear and lick the salt on your skin. He’s still inside you, and you tilt your hips in such a way that he doesn’t slip out quite yet. You want to savor this moment for as long as you can, to feel him as a part you before you inevitably break apart.
It’s Sanemi who breaks the silence first, whispering so softly into your neck that you barely hear him even though his mouth is right behind your ear.
“Do you hate me?”
You don’t respond right away, even though you always knew the answer despite what that little voice inside you tried to say.
“I don’t hate you, Sanemi.” You sigh and lean back into his warmth. “But for a while I wanted to. Hating you would have been easier.”
He breathes out against your neck, thinking to himself.
“It always is,” he says finally, in a tone you can’t quite decipher.
“Not for me,” you reply.
He’s quiet again for a few long moments. You know he’s mulling over more than he can possibly put into words, wrestling with feelings that seem to shift like the winds he forms with his blade. You can tell because his heart rate doesn’t seem to slow and he worries the nail of his left middle finger deep into the pad of this thumb in a nervous tic.
He doesn’t say a word as he breaks away to grab your various discarded clothes and help dress you before he pulls on his own uniform. The air is getting chillier and the cold stone of the old mountain shrine is not his ideal place to hold you, but Sanemi doesn’t tell you this.
You start to accept that he’s probably going to scrub all evidence of this from his memory and never mention it ever again when he turns to you with your sword belt in his hands. He moves closer to bring it around your waist, buckling it slowly and quietly—a far cry from how he removed it earlier.
His hands remain on your belt to hold you in place when you move to turn away.
“I—” he starts softly, stopping to think for the right words. Then gathers himself and continues in that loud, brash tone you always braced yourself against before tonight.
“I’m not going to make a big thing out of this, so listen—“ He holds your gaze with that familiar boldness, like he’s challenging you. “I don’t want to take the easy way out anymore. I don’t want to run.” He clears his throat and cuts a slightly exasperated look off to the side.“….And you’re a pain in the ass when you hate me,” he adds.
You swallow a laugh as you realize anything more sentimental might have been more indicative of a head injury than an emotional epiphany.
“So...truce?”
Sanemi studies you for a long moment. You wait patiently with a small smile and a sudden deep interest in the stone arch overhead.
Then he seems to make up his mind, and he pulls you in for a brief but bruising kiss before giving you his final answer.
“Truce.”