Work Text:
Jeongin couldn’t for the life of him figure out how one minute Jisung and he had been arguing and the next their lips had been crushed together. It was anything but soft and sweet — nothing like a first kiss should be and it is definitely his first kiss. He shoves Jisung away after a few seconds, feeling a mix of emotions and wanting to lash out at him but finding that he can’t form any words sharp and angry or not. He just storms off out of the practice room, away from Jisung, away from the thoughts and questions now rushing in his mind. Because as angry and rough as that kiss had been… his lips tingled and his heart is racing for reasons other than just being pissed off.
But that’s all that happened and neither of them spoke about it. It’s like the kiss never actually happened.
——————
Who has time to dwell about how a random kiss makes them feel? Jeongin had training to do, he had schedules. He didn’t have time to think about Jisung. He definitely didn’t have time to lay awake in bed, listening to Jisung breathing heavily, soft groans puncturing the quiet room — probably thinking Jeongin is already asleep. He didn’t have time to contemplate why the hell that made him so hard. He stubbornly ignores his arousal, trying to tune out Jisung’s breath when it calms down eventually even if he knows what that means, knows what Jisung sounds like when he comes. He dreams about that kiss in the practice room again but the kiss gets softer, he feels hands all over, abstract but distinctly Jisung.
“Hyung,” he moans quietly as he wakes, realizing his pajamas are wet. He curses himself, despite the fact it’s not like he has much control over it. He’s never thought about his sexuality before. Jeongin’s focused on his goals. He tries to keep the thoughts from taking over and he throws himself harder into his work. The wet dreams keep coming and Jeongin keeps ignoring their existence. He pretends he never hears Jisung jerking off and definitely tells himself that he’s not waiting for the next time he gets to listen.
It’s nearly a year later before either of them broach the subject of the kiss. They’re sitting on the floor of the practice room, drinking water.
“In-ah, do you remember when we kissed?” Jisung asked suddenly and it was completely out of no where.
Jeongin’s head whips around searching to see if there’s anyone around them to overhear. His heart is pounding. “Yeah, you were a jerk, hyung,” Jeongin huffs taking a long drink of water. “That was my first kiss.”
Jisung stares at Jeongin like he’s just grown a second head. “Your what? Seriously? No way!” Jisung exclaims, looking positively affronted at the information. He moves to his knees and shuffles closer to Jeongin. “Wow, I got to make it up to you then.”
“What!?” Jeongin blinks and now it’s his turn to stare at Jisung like he’s grown a second head. “Don’t you dare,” he holds his hands out in front of him in a stop motion. He tries not to laugh when Jisung starts making a ridiculous kissy face at him.
“Come on, let me show you what a real kiss is like because knowing you, you still haven’t had your second kiss.”
Jeongin should be offended but… it’s true. He definitely didn’t have time for finding someone to kiss. He definitely didn’t even have time to really, really think about the type of person he wants to kiss or why it didn’t bother him that Jisung — a guy — had kissed him, that’s not the part that had been a problem back then or now… “Why are you making an assumption again that it’s okay to kiss me?”
Jisung blinks, a bit taken aback by the question. Then again, he had kissed Jeongin in anger before (even Jisung can’t explain why he’d done that). “In-ah…”
Jeongin lets out a breath and he has so many questions about himself, about what he wants, who he wants and who he is. He’s the one this time that bridges the gap, pressing his lips against Jisung’s. The kiss is awkward and Jeongin still doesn’t really know what he’s doing but there’s an eagerness to this kiss. He wants to kiss Jisung. Why? It didn’t really matter. He doesn’t pull away, doesn’t push Jisung away and this time the kiss turns into another kiss and then another.
Finally, Jeongin does break away, swallowing heavily and his lips are tingly and swollen feeling as he swipes his tongue out against them. “I… I don’t know if I’m gay,” he says in a rush, his eyes dropping to Jisung’s lips.
“I know I’m gay,” Jisung replies back. He reaches to brush his fingers through Jeongin’s hair, leaning in close. “It’s okay not to know,” he adds. “But I know you listen to me jerk off, so if you want me to help you figure some stuff out…”
Jeongin stares at Jisung like he grew a second head once again. “What”
Jisung laughs and he noses in close, brushing his nose against Jeongin’s and their lips very nearly touching again. “I can hear you react,” he admits, playfully nipping at Jeongin’s bottom lip which sends a rush of heat right to his groin that he’s totally unprepared for. “Can I kiss you?”
Jeongin tries to find his mental footing again, his face feeling like it’s burning as he must have nodded because Jisung’s lips crash against his once more. There’s less hesitancy this time, less awkwardness. Jeongin wants to explore and when he feels the older man’s tongue prodding against his lips he parts them, allowing him to press in, to lick and prod and trace his teeth with his tongue before sliding against his own.
Moaning, Jeongin’s hands grip at Jisung’s biceps and before he knows it he’s on his back on the practice room floor and Jisung is pressing down over him. Their hips press together and he can feel Jisung’s half hard just like he is too. That should make him think twice about this. They shouldn’t be doing this at all — much less in the practice room where anyone could walk in… But Jeongin doesn’t stop Jisung, doesn’t push him off even though it’d be so simple.
Instead, he lets Jisung rut against him, getting them both hard as their cocks rubbed against each other through the fabric of their pants and underwear. It’s a totally new sensation for Jeongin, to feel someone else’s dick against his own even through fabric. He gets fully hard quick and his hips start to move up, rubbing back against the older man. His fingers bury in Jisung’s hair before the other’s breaking the kiss and pressing his lips against Jeongin’s sharp jawline and then down his slender throat. He doesn’t bite or suck but Jeongin finds that he wishes that he would. His breath is coming out in heavy pants as Jisung starts to rut harder.
It’s over pretty fast, Jeongin and Jisung both coming in their pants with quiet groans. Jisung kisses Jeongin again and then gets up. “Good?” he murmurs.
“Y..yeah,” Jeongin stutters, feeling dazed after the pleasure of the first orgasm he’s had that’s been caused directly by things another person did to him. He bites his lip, it feels swollen and he can still taste Jisung there he swears. He’s confused by all this, by the kisses, by getting off together and then Jisung almost acting like nothing happened.
Jisung smiles at Jeongin and reaches to ruffle his hair. “You’re so cute,” he sighs. “I’ll see you later tonight.” And that’s all he had to say before he was leaving.
“See you hyung…”
And Jeongin hurried home, trying to make sure no one noticed what was going on and he showered and headed to bed early… which didn’t really raise too many eyebrows.
When he laid down that night, it was hard to think of anything else but Jisung. He could remember the feeling of his lips, of his body over his and the sound of his moans, the feeling of his cock rubbing against his own and he finds himself wanting to feel it. He groans softly and rolls onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow for a jerk-off session. He falls asleep after what feels like hours, deciding that between all the frustration, he must be gay because nothing had made him so horny as Jisung's fucking dick.
——————
Jeongin hadn’t ended up seeing him that night. Jisung must have stayed late in the studio or was otherwise occupied because Jeongin fell asleep before the older man got home. In fact, that sort of became the normal. Jeongin even starts to believe that Jisung might be avoiding him altogether. Is that how it is? You make out and dry hump your friend and bandmate and then effectively ghost them? Jeongin’s not the most confrontational but after a week he’s fed up.
And so, he waits in Jisung’s bed for the older man to get home. He’s determined to confront him about this even if as the hours go buy and he keeps scrolling on his phone he gets tired. By the time that Jisung comes in, switching on a small lamp, Jeongin is sitting on his bed still, dozing off with his phone in his hand, dropped down on his lap.
“In-ah?” Jisung questions and Jeongin’s head shoots up immediately, eyes widening as he pries away the claws of sleepiness that have been sinking into him. “Why are you awake and in my bed?”
“Why are you avoiding me, hyung?” Jeongin asks, not beating around the bush at all. How else can he read how things have been since what had happened in the practice room?
“What? I’m not…”
“Yes you are! You always come home really late and you’re always finding excuses not to be alone with me… Are you mad about what happened?”
“No…” Jisung answers and Jeongin watches as his face softens and he sits down beside the younger. “I guess I started worrying I crossed a line with you and you might be upset with me.”
“So avoiding me was your answer?” Jeongin’s eyes narrow and he crosses his arms as he glares at Jisung. He gets up, his stomach twisting and suddenly he doesn’t know what he’s even hoping to accomplish. He tenses when Jisung grabs his arm before he can stalk away to his own bed. He should just sleep and forget this ever happened, forget any of it ever happened.
Jeongin doesn’t wrest his arm away though and he closes his eyes as he lets the other keep hold of him. “I’m so confused, hyung. We…did all that stuff and then you ignored me and… were you just playing some game?” He hates that he sounds pathetic like that.
“Fuck,” Jisung curses and he tightens his hold on Jeongin before gently tugging him to sit down on the bed beside him. “No, that’s not it at all. I just figured, you probably regretted it? Like it was probably something to get out of your system, right? You’re not into guys, right? I didn’t want to make it weird.”
Jeongin could just about shove Jisung off the bed. “Why are you assuming so many things about me? I didn’t even know if I was into guys or not for sure yet!” He feels angry and he doesn’t know why aside from the fact that he hates that Jisung had been avoiding him when all he had wanted was to talk to him and to not feel like they’d made some huge mistake that made things weird and awkward between them. “But now I know I like guys. I like you and… it’s stupid. You’re stupid.”
Jisung really, really tries not to laugh. He tries really hard not to even smile but he succeeds for about .5 seconds before he busts up laughing, his face brightening and he finally lets go of Jeongin’s arm as he bends over with the force of the laughter. “That…that is the best way I have ever been confessed too, In-ah,” Jisung is practically giggling and then he pounces Jeongin, pushing him back onto the bed and pressing a kiss to his lips. “You like me, huh? Didn’t know you were into idiots.”
“Shut up,” Jeongin mutters, pressing another kiss to Jisung’s lips. He’s still exhausted and really all that passes between them are a few more kisses and tonight, instead of sleeping alone he falls asleep in Jisung’s arms. It’s kind of weird, he’s so short it feels like it should’ve been the other way around but Jeongin doesn’t have any complaints.
He hopes there will be more chances to explore what else could be comfortable. For now, he’s happy. He likes an idiot and the idiot likes him and that’s enough to make it easy to sleep deep. And this time when he has a hot dream maybe he’ll get a different sort of awakening.