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1.
You don’t ever want to accidentally hit your two-year crush flat on the face.
Stephanie has been trailing her father for the third night this week, following the man in an orange suit and blue scarf taking shortcuts in countless alleys. She’s keeping her distance from above, jumping from building to building. He’s planning something. Again. This isn’t the first time she tailed him, but it’s the first time someone followed her.
She’s lucky she landed on a building with a stack of bricks. So, when she swiftly grabbed one to smack her unwanted follower with it, she didn’t expect them to catch her wrist before she landed the hit. And she did not expect it to be Robin.
And oh god she’s mortified. Embarrassed. Ashamed. This gesture will forever make her irredeemable.
“Watch it!” He exclaimed. He took away the brick from her hand and haphazardly threw it back to the pile.
She thought of saying, “ Oh my god – it’s you! I didn’t mean to! I would never. You’re practically my crush with how great you are and always looking out for Gotham. I am sooo sorry. ”
But what came out instead was, “Well I’m watching and it’s nothing impressive.”
Her mother always had told her that her sass (or her mouth? But then again sass is what comes out of her mouth often so maybe it is ‘sass’) would get her in more trouble than she’s worth. She wanted to crawl down the fire escape in humiliation because why would you say that Steph?
He blinked and she wished that she’s anywhere else but in front of him. Instead, the red and green clad boy just… grinned. No annoyance or a hint of malice, she might even go far as to guess that he’s intrigued.
“Tell you what,” Robin placed his hands on his hips, his chin tilted up and determination lacing his tone. “Stick with me tonight and I might show you some moves that’re sure to impress. Might even let you help me bring in a perp.”
And really, who is she to turn down the invitation. It’s freaking Robin.
2.
He didn’t tell her his name. Secret identity and all, so she always called him ‘Robin’. Shortening it didn’t feel right so she never did. His hair is curlier than she thought it’d be, it’s nice and fluffy and it suits him. She can never tell what his eye color really is, a shame really, the white lenses of his mask covering it all too well. He might be two years older than her but she’s taller than him by four inches. He said that Batman is his dad, it’s the second coolest thing about him.
The coolest thing about Robin – that she’s beyond delighted to discover – is his wide knowledge about literature.
She had dropped some references before (that many of her peers fail to recognize), and Robin had never misunderstood one. He’d take a moment sometimes, but he never fails to continue her literary comment or show that he knows it. Which is exactly why she always reserves her English homework to do with him (it’s sort of their thing).
It’s great to have a friend that understands the books you enjoy. Tim is more of a ‘movies and series’ type of kid, and even if Steph does enjoy those too, it’s still a different feeling from having someone that shares your interest in reading.
Which brings her to the least likable thing about Robin: his subtle treatment of Tim as if the younger boy is some sort of competition .
She doesn’t understand it, maybe she never will. Her guess is that maybe Tim just rubbed off on him the wrong way. What with his first meeting of him just dropping the bombshell that he knows the identities of Batman and the first Robin (with how Robin is keeping his real name from her, it’s the only explanation she can think of). Robin went to visit her after the revelation, asked her if she knew who he was – and it’s odd to see how relieved he was when she told him that Tim didn’t carelessly share the information to her. Of course, she’s curious; but she respects Robin’s boundaries even more.
They’re currently in her room rereading Hamlet for the past hour and a half, going back and forth with their thoughts about a couple of scenes. A week ago, Steph earned an A+ on her homework about her character studies. Robin was a great help with editing and reading the subtle context she missed for that written output.
Stephanie will be having a short quiz about the book two days from now. But after today’s (very) hasty fire safety practice, some jerk accidentally bumped against her too hard while she was on the stairs that she lost her balance and tripped. The worst part about it is not the fact that the jerk didn’t apologize, the worst part is the broken arm. She supposed it could be worse (it could’ve been her dominant arm).
It was decided that there’s no patrols for her starting that incident. Temporarily of course, she made sure of it. In addition to no patrols, there’s also zero glorious opportunities for her to tease or annoy the Batman (which Robin often does with her as a tag team). Who’d known the man can be so easily pushed, it was funny to say the least. And maybe a little bit satisfying.
Although she will admit that it’s… weird for Robin to stay this long with her. Usually after an hour, he’s jumping out of her window and back to action to assist Batman. Not that she’s complaining about it, quite the opposite. She loves having Robin around – he’s one of her best friends after all. However, that doesn’t stop her from being concerned.
When she checked it to him, Robin simply told her that tonight’s his ‘free night’. That Batman has it covered. Steph asked what’s the occasion and it’s the first time she has seen him become shy.
The tips of Robin’s ears suddenly reddened; he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Cause it’s my birthday.”
That explains the heavenly box of cookies he brought with him tonight.
She shrieked. “What!” a playful punch on his shoulder, “why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not that big of a deal-”
“Yes, it is! I would’ve gotten you something.”
“You don’t have to.”
Steph crossed her arms and pouted. “I wanted to.”
He poked her cheek, “It’s not like you told me it was your birthday a few days ago, Steph. I could’ve gotten you something too.”
“Mmm fine,” he has a point , “we’ll call it even. But I’m totally taking note of this date for next year.”
Robin chuckled, “I can live with that.”
The truth is, back when it was Stephanie’s birthday, she didn’t want anything for the special day. She got what she needed: her dad behind bars, her mom starting to sober up, good grades, and good friends . If her parents’ marriage isn’t a major dumpster fire, if it had been a positive example to her to swallow her pride and all that, she might have told that to Robin.
State that she didn’t want anything because she has him. Always looking out for her with or without the mask, helping her with school, backing her up to support her when Batman gets displeased about something she messed up, teaching her how to defend herself when they train together, and so much more.
That just being able to spend time with him… having him in her life? It’s enough for her.
If only she had the courage to admit that then she would’ve known that he feels the same.
3.
One thing that Steph has been an expert in recognizing is when a guy is angry . When they try to hide it or not let the emotion get through them.
When she landed on the building Robin was left at, after a screaming match with Batman that she was late to catch on any hint about, it’s clear that it’s exactly how he feels. Almost thirty minutes have passed by of him pacing back and forth, frustratingly muttering things to himself – and with every minute, Steph increasingly becomes more and more worried about him.
She pleaded, “Robin… please . Talk to me.”
“It’s…” It’s Jason is what he wanted to say, not that she’ll ever know. He took a deep breath as an attempt to calm himself.
“It’s fine,” he did his best to make sure he would not misdirect his anger on her, “just let it go.”
Steph had the feeling that the last part was more for himself than for her (maybe the whole sentence was). It wouldn’t hurt to try again, “Let me help.”
He sneered in annoyance, “Why do you want to know what’s wrong so much?”
Because I care about you is what she almost said. But she can’t risk it, even if it’s the truth.
Instead, she went with the next best and closest thing she can think of, “Because you’re my friend. And I’m yours.
4.
Commissioner Gordon had entrusted Detective Drake (Tim graduated early and it’s finally official that he’s working for the GCPD for their investigative department) of uncovering the identity of the red-helmet wearing, gun slinging, almost-vigilante (is there a term for an extremely violent vigilante?) that goes by ‘Red Hood’. He left a rather impressionable and disturbing note for the commissioner after a series of ‘sweeping out dealers’.
For the past three weeks, this new player made zero contact with any of the Bats of Gotham. That was until he told something that triggered Bruce.
Alfred won’t let her know what could’ve shaken the Batman so much, but Tim was able to crack the clues and put the pieces together. It was a long shot, but it’s a shot worth taking. Tim is sure of the who but not the how . And they won’t get any clues until they confront Red Hood.
That’s where Steph comes in, she’s their best bet with getting close enough to talk to the man. Since it’s her, Tim can’t lie about what he suspects is the Hood’s true identity.
And hearing it from Tim, logical Tim that always quadruple checks his facts and puts his entire soul with research, that it could be the deceased Robin: it’s like the opposite of the five stages of grief (shock, doubt, contemplation, hope, renewal – it’s a work in progress, she would have made a quick paper about it to help her process if she could find the right words to fully describe… well, everything). Considering their line of work, she knows that a sudden death is inevitable, but she never thought their group would be lucky enough that one of their members would come back .
But Jason (Batman finally let her into their real identities, knowing how much she meant to him – and that it wouldn’t be right for her to know it from reading it from his tombstone) being alive is just the start. The tip of the iceberg. There’s still the fact that he could be the Red Hood and with his methods, it’s sure that there’ll be significant conflict between them.
Screw that , Steph thought. Her main focus is that he’s back.
But standing in front of the man now, on her own, it made Steph hesitate. She can’t imagine Jason drastically turning out to be like this. To the point she’s barely able to recognize him. And it’s beyond just what she hears about the things Red Hood has done so far.
She can’t see him, too used to Jason’s eyes only being covered by his mark with his nose and mouth still noticeable (and she can’t help but miss his smile, how expressive he was). Now, the crimson helmet covers everything and it makes it all the more harder to figure out how to approach him without being able to see any hints of his expressions.
Then there’s his height and build and you’d think ‘this is a totally different person’. She was so used to being the taller one between them. Standing in front of the intimidating man, Red Hood is a foot taller than her and nearly thrice her size.
She wants to tell him that she misses Jason. To let him know that they figured out who he is and she’s desperate that Tim was right because she doesn’t know what she’ll do with herself if she got all her expectations up for nothing. Because for the first time since Jason died, the chance of having him back was the first thing that truly sank in her enough to make Steph hopeful again.
But if they were wrong, and she hopes to god they aren’t, she can’t possibly overshare that to a stranger.
Steeling herself, Steph stood straighter and held her chin up to try and level herself with the much taller man and asked. “Are you my Robin?”
5.
Dancing with Jason, Steph found out one more thing that he likes about him: it’s all too easy to just be with him.
To simply just be in the rhythm, lost in each other’s presence. It’s as if they’ve been dancing with each other their whole lives. Stephanie supposed that in a non-literal sense, they have been dancing around each other for so long.
The entire time, he has this soft look in his face that he only ever showed to her. She thinks that maybe it’s something that he reserves for her. The adoration that’s simply flooding in his eyes overwhelms her, and she’s not sure if she can take it any longer.
“I was Robin for a while you know?” She absentmindedly informed him. It wasn’t something she had on the top of her head that she wanted to tell him tonight, but it’s too late to take it back now.
“Really?” his brows slightly shot up in mild surprise. They didn’t stop dancing but they both slowed down a bit. “Bet you did well.”
“I like to think I did, but-”
He immediately cut her off, sensing the sudden sadness in her tone. “If this is about Bruce treating you badly, I don’t want to hear it.”
They stopped dancing now. His hands gently squeeze her shoulders, his piercing gaze directed at her eyes reflecting no room for her to argue with him. To not defend Bruce if what he assumed was going to be her train of thought (it wasn’t).
“But it didn’t feel right.” She explained and raised her hands to grab hold of his wrists. He didn’t let go, and he’s glad she’s not pulling them down, simply just holding on for support. That of which he’s always ready to give to her.
Stephanie continued, “I thought that somehow, by picking up the mantle I could honor you but… it just made me miss you more.”
She designed her Robin uniform. Bruce helped with the more technical aspects like the armor and the utility belt and other tools to be incorporated with the outfit. The one thing she kept from Jason’s uniform were his gloves. Something to wear and carry with her when she’s out there, as if she gets to feel his hand hold hers whenever she’s patrolling or grappling through the city (guiding her through it). His hands have always been warm, but that warmth and comfort didn’t come close to when she wore his gloves. It was ironic how cold it was and how empty she feels, back then, knowing that she’ll never get to hold him again.
But she’s here now and so is he. He chose to visit her tonight when he could be anywhere else but in front of her. He could have better things to do and yet he indulged her when she invited him to dance.
Stephanie owes this truth to Jason ever since the night she confronted him about his real identity when he came back as Red Hood. “And I never felt that that identity was for me . You’re my Robin, always have been. And I’m your Spoiler.”
Jason fondly smiled at her, “And I’m glad that I’m the only Robin to have a Spoiler too.”
The blonde chuckled and raised her index finger to the dark-haired man’s lips, shushing him and shot him the look that says I’m still talking. Steph’s satisfied to know that even after all this time, it still works like a charm.
She’s done dancing around whatever it is they have between them. “You know I love you, right?”
Jason blinked, obviously stunned at the confession and question rolled in one. “Steph-”
“I was devastated when you died.” Her lip quivered, her crystal blue eyes begging to become glossy as Steph did her best to keep her tears at bay. “It broke my heart to try to move on when I didn’t want to. In fact, I never did, and I even tried to pick up what you left by doing good as Robin just to find some sense of closure.”
She sniffed, because it’s the first time she ever said any of her inner turmoil out loud. Like a weight being lifted off her chest.
Now that she started, Steph decided to let it all out. “It didn’t work, all it did was make me wish for you to come back no matter how impossible it sounded. And when you did… I didn’t know what to do with myself. Because we’re not the same people we were before, but at the same time it felt as if we didn’t change. Because you’re still you and I’m still me. I hope that made sense.”
She bowed her head, but Jason hooked his finger under her chin to make her look at him. She can clearly see that he understands, and he nodded to let her know that she can still continue. “I don’t know about what you feel about me,” and I hope I’ll know soon enough , “but I know that my feelings for you never left even when you were gone.”
Stephanie felt she should add something, but the words didn’t have the time to group up to a coherent sentence the very moment Jason leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. And it felt so right . As if two puzzle pieces finally came in its proper place together – side by side, fully complimenting each other. As if they’ve both been waiting for this the whole time.
She never had a specific picture of what it’d be like to kiss Jason, because for so long, she has always feared telling him what she felt that she never imagined she’d ever get this far. And this simple and gentle act alone is the most tender thing she has ever felt in her life. With her face cupped in his hands securely, as if she’s the most precious thing Jason has ever held, she can feel the desperation and yearning flow out of him as if he’s been waiting for this for so long.
Steph leaned into him, offering the years of love she has kept inside all for him. As Jason fell in deeper to the kiss, she hesitantly let her palms trail upward to his chest. Beneath her small hands, she can feel his heart pounding – the quick beat almost like her own, maybe even faster. A weak whimper escaped from her because of what she felt then and there, at the possible indication that she has this much effect on him as he does to her.
When Jason pulled away, breathless and still wanting, he noticed Steph started to cry. He cooed and used the pad of his thumbs to wipe away her spilling tears. Gently caressing her cheeks as he lovingly cradled her face in his hands, he spoke the words she has always dreamt of hearing for so long, “I’ve always loved you, Steph.”
Her wet eyes widened in shock. Stephanie’s breath hitched and her voice barely above a whisper, “J-Jay-”
Jason pulled her in, their foreheads touched ever so lightly. He placed a light kiss on the tip of her cute nose. Deep forest green orbs resolutely stared back down to Steph’s crystal blue eyes, “There’s never a doubt in my mind about that.”
Steph felt as if she could float on air, with how light and full and complete her heart felt at that very moment. His reassurance meant the world to her. The blonde let out a choked chuckle, she emotionally sniffed and teased the man in front of her.
She stuck her tongue out to him and spoke, “I’m impressed that you could make me so speechless with less than ten words.”
Jason was unable to keep himself from the laugh that shook him, what with Steph always being able to keep him on his toes; his hands still held her face as he continued to admire her.
He grinned at her in a way that takes her back to the beginning, “You know that’s what I’ve been trying to do since day one, right?”
Steph chuckled, and Jason took it as an opening to affectionately nuzzle his nose against hers … and yeah , Steph thought with a smile she knows won’t be going away for a while, this feels just right .