Chapter Text
The universe in which this story takes place is the standard omegaverse with the usual alpha, beta, and omega labels. But there are some changes.
Omega - They make up the smaller percentage of the population. The omegas are divided into two: the dominant and recessive. The dominant omega traits show up as soon as they are born while the recessive omegas usually show up in early adulthood. During the testing, usually the recessive omegas would show up as inconclusive. The dominant omegas usually work in the position of power. That is why they often work in politics and the government. They are able to carry children regardless of the primary gender. The omegas are the most evolved of the three with their power of persuasion and the paralyzing venom in their fangs when they attack. They have to take suppressants to lessen the pain of their heats and to control their strong pheromones. They can become extremely aggressive during pregnancy and heat. All omegas are intersex regardless of their feminine, masculine, or androgynous appearance.
Beta - In this story, the beta is also able to smell the scent of the pheromones and is able to become pregnant and also make others pregnant but they are less affected by the pheromones so they usually work in the field where they are most needed like medicine and civil servants. The betas have heats but they are less frequent than the omegas and they do not have fangs. They do not need to use a suppressant and hormone stabilizer. They make up half the percentage of the population. Some betas are intersex.
Alpha - The alphas tend to succumb to their primal animal instinct and would become extremely violent during their rut. They can only become docile if they have a partner and their rut would be less painful and less severe. The places they live usually have a special security system to lock themselves up during a rut for safety reasons. They have fangs to mark their mate. Dominant alphas have strong and tall physical build. They usually work in the security department and the military. They can become very attached to their partner and experience literal physical pain during heartbreak. They react strongly to pheromones and need suppressants to control their primal urges. They have to take hormone stabilizer if they have no partner. All alphas have knots regardless of their feminine, masculine, or androgynous appearance.
- All people are able to choose their preferred pronouns and can choose to transition.
Alpha, Beta, Omega glands - The scent gland is located in the nape of their necks. Another gland which secretes alpha, beta, or omega hormones is located just under the diaphragm.
They are tested once they are born by blood test and once again when they reached puberty. Those with recessive genes will have additional testing. In extremely rare cases, a person may present as a pseudo-beta but their omega traits showed up after having a partner.
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Seoham remembered it still like it was yesterday. The farewell letter left on the kitchen counter, the still warm mug of tea, and his lingering subtle scent. He remembered it was the weekend, the weather was warm, and the sky was clear, contrasting the dark clouds brewing in his heart.
The cold emptiness of the once shared apartment was more apparent that day. Maybe it's because of the hangover and the remnant of the always painful rut, he felt lonelier than ever. The sheets felt like they were pricking his skin and cold sweats were beading on his skin. He had just finished shooting a new drama a few days prior and his rut immediately hit him like a truck. He could not attend the press conference for the drama because of the pain.
He looked at the night stand and saw a half-empty bottle of soju and the empty suppressant and hormone stabilizer pill strips. He knew he was not supposed to take them with alcohol but he just couldn’t sleep without it.
Have I eaten? He couldn’t tell if he was hungry or the pain in his abdomen was because of the rut. He saw that the food and drink basket he prepared for his rut was still full except for one water bottle. Oh…
He looked at the digital clock and calendar by his bed and saw that three days had passed. He always spent his rut alone since Jaechan left.
Everything hurts.
He checked his phone and saw several missed calls from his manager. She was always worried about him every time his rut was approaching.
He then pressed call and the speaker button. “Noona, I’m alive.” Seoham said when she picked up the call, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but his raspy voice betrayed him.
Manager Soo Yebin sighed in relief but then her voice grew concerned.
“I could ask the management if they would allow a rut partner for you. They could provide NDA. You’ve spent it alone with minimal medication for so long and it’s become more and more irregular. Plus you have been accepting job offers without any breaks. It’s not healthy, Seoham.” She was so worried for him.
“You know very well why I can’t be with anyone else, Yebin Noona. Work is the only thing that can distract me from thinking about… him.” He said. Even saying his name hurt.
Her voice softened. “Oh, Seoham… You need to let him go… It’s been four years…”
“I know…” His voice cracked. He thought that it would get better but it got worse as time went by. He just missed Jaechan so much.
Yebin kept on lecturing him about health. She meant well, Seoham knew that, but he couldn’t help but feel irritated. He had not been taking care of himself very well.
He kept the call on to let her talk. It was better than the quietness of the room. He sat up on his bed. He was feeling delirious and he really needed to eat something so he opened a granola bar and started to eat. But after finishing the snack he started to feel nauseous and he immediately threw up on the side of his bed. His vision then started spinning and he fell to the floor.
“Hey, Seoham? What was that? Are you okay? Seoham? Seoham?!!” The sound of his manager’s distressed and panicked voice started to echo in the distance and everything went dark.
***
Four years ago.
After the success of Semantic Error, everything was going very well. The drama became so popular. Jaechan and Seoham were received well by the public both nationally and internationally. While Seoham was enlisted, they started secretly dating just like any other celeb couples that fell in love on set. Jaechan received countless magazine deals, variety show deals, and got his own talk show and his group, DKZ, started to garner more success. Seoham was so proud of him. Jaechan believed in fate more than Seoham but the way they met one another truly felt like it was meant to be. The two were able to help one another and lift each other up when they most needed it.
But then a month just before Seoham was discharged, Jaechan announced his early retirement from the entertainment industry. The announcement was posted on Dongyo’s social media pages along with a handwritten letter from Jaechan expressing his sincere apology and his reasons for leaving. Jaechan mentioned health issues being one of his reasons. The sudden news shocked his fans and shocked Seoham the most. There were no signs leading to his sudden retirement. In fact, just two weeks prior, Jaechan was in their new shared apartment, happily watching a movie with him before he had to go back to his dorm. They were happy and were planning their days ahead.
What happened to Jaechan? Everything was going so well. Their work life and love life were flourishing. Jaechan was recently casted for a new drama and he was working on an upcoming album with his group and all of that had to be abruptly stopped.
Seoham was in his old apartment because of work and Jaechan had called him just the day before the announcement. He sounded so happy to call him… What exactly went wrong? But then again Jaechan had a habit of keeping his struggles to himself. Sure, he would talk with Seoham and open up to him about them but he could fall into his old habit sometimes because, after all, if you had to be self-reliant so much for most of your adolescent years it became a default survival instinct.
Seoham immediately called Jaechan to ask him what happened but his calls were all rejected because Jaechan most likely changed his number. He reached out to his social media pages but they were all quickly deactivated. He then contacted Kyungyoon and Jonghyeong who were closest to Jaechan to ask what happened but they could not tell him anything either because apparently Jaechan did not tell them anything as well. They were also upset and hurt by the news but they had to carry on. He then contacted Jaechan’s mother but she apologized to him saying she cannot say anything about the matter.
Seoham then hurriedly checked their newly rented apartment to see whether Jaechan was there. As soon as he opened the door, he saw a letter on the kitchen counter which was located by the door. He opened the letter with trembling hands. When he read it, his heart started to crack and shatter.
Seoham Hyung,
I’m sure you must be shocked and confused as to why I suddenly left. But it does not matter why I left. You have your whole life ahead of you. You should know that the time I spent with you was the happiest time in my life and I will treasure it forever. I sincerely pray for your success. If you want to hate me, hate me. Do not go looking for me. It would be best if you can forget about me.
Goodbye.
- Jaechan
After that Seoham locked himself in the apartment for a week. Then he started pushing those closest to him away.
He became distant to his friends and even his parents and brother. The person who once was a social butterfly transformed into a loner and a workaholic.
He knew it was best to forget about Jaechan and to hate him but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Jaechan had taken all of his personal belongings with him. They were not that many after all. All that was left was a T-shirt. It had fallen to the ground in the closet since it seemed that Jaechan left in a hurry. Seoham would bring the T-shirt with him to sleep until all the remaining Jaechan’s subtle sweet cherry and morning dew scent faded away.
Seoham’s heart ached. It felt like something inside him had torn and it hurt like hell.
The love of his life was gone and the pain was hard to heal…
***
Seoham woke up in an unfamiliar room. He smelled something sterile and medicinal. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw that he was in a hospital room.
He tried to move but his whole body felt so weak. There were two IVs attached to his arm connected to a bag full of green liquid and another bag with clear liquid. He saw his bodyguard sleeping on a chair at the end of the bed and his manager was sleeping on a couch beside the bed. He tried to move again but he just whimpered in pain.
His voice woke both his manager and the bodyguard.
“Seoham?” Manager Yebin immediately went to his side. “Oh, thank goodness, you’re finally awake.” Her eyes were puffy as if she had been crying her eyes out.
“I’m sorry…” Seoham said.
“You need to rest. You’re overworked and pushed yourself too much that you got sick.” Yebin said and she started crying. The bodyguard gave her a cup of water. “Thank you Sunhwa oppa.” She said to the bodyguard.
“I’m sorry, Noona…” Seoham really felt regretful.
“You were out for two days. Thankfully you were brought to the hospital just in time. You had a bad acid reflux and your alpha gland is very swollen from taking your suppressant and hormone stabilizer with alcohol. The mixture became toxic. The doctor is giving you a detox medication to flush it out of your system or you might have a glandular failure.” She explained. “The medication you were taking is over the counter so it’s easy to get the dosage wrong and the doctor said you were apparently allergic to the suppressant.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Would you just stop apologizing!” Yebin said exasperatedly.
“Sorry…” Seoham really couldn’t come up with any excuses. He had been careless and he had unintentionally endangered his own life.
She then sighed and took Seoham’s hand in hers. “Listen. I asked the management to give you a three month long vacation. You need it badly, Seoham. You’ve been working non-stop for the past four years. Please take this vacation time to get better and recharge. Please, Seoham.”
Yebin had been taking care of Seoham after he finished enlisting. She had become like his own sister and the only person that he allowed to get close to him. Seoham truly felt terrible for making her worry. “Alright…” He finally agreed.
A week later, after he was discharged from the hospital, he packed his bag and took a KTX train from Seoul to Daegu.
His management had reserved a villa away from the hustle and bustle of the city so he can rest fully and recover. He was the golden boy in the management after all so they were making sure to prioritize his health. Seoham was finally given the correct suppressant and hormone stabilizer prescriptions without the ingredient he was allergic to. He was also not allowed to drink during his recovery. His manager would check up on him every two weeks. His bodyguard, Jung Sunhwa, went along with him of course, just in case.
The management put out the announcement that Park Seoham was taking a break from work for several months to rest after a health scare. In his fancafe, his fans expressed their worries and wished him well and for him to come back healthier and stronger. He was grateful for them and it gave him more encouragement to get better.
About two hours later, he arrived at Daegu’s train station. The bodyguard had rented a vehicle and they both quickly drove to the villa located in the rural area which is another hour away by car.
Seoham was still slightly weak but he felt better than ever. The correct medicine truly did wonders for him. He was also taking vitamins so he could recover faster. It really was time for him to get it together. He did not want to be in pain anymore.
He felt relaxed as he saw the scenes of the fields of rice as far as the eyes can see and large buildings becoming less and less frequent.
Finally, after an hour, they arrived at the villa. It was located in a village with houses owned by the farmers and their families and there was also a senior center. It was definitely a perfect place for someone to retire. Seoham saw many large ceramic pots in one of the houses earlier so he assumed that they must be making doenjang or gochujang or both. There was also an apple orchard near the villa and he would love to take a stroll there later.
The air felt crisp and clear here and Seoham felt much healthier already. He was also less likely to be recognized here so he felt a bit at ease.
The villa was owned by one of the higher-ups in his management and the security system was of course already in place.
The bodyguard placed Seoham’s suitcase in the main bedroom on the second floor and he went to his own room to place his own backpack and duffel bag on the first floor while Seoham laid down on the sofa in the living room because he was exhausted after the trip. “Seoham, I will take a walk around to familiarize myself with the area and talk to some neighbors to tell them about our arrival and our stay here. You can continue to rest.” He then went to the refrigerator in the kitchen to take out a bottle of water and then placed it on the coffee table by the sofa.
“Thank you, Sunhwa hyung. I’ll also take a walk later after I rest.”
“Alright. I’ll be back in a few.”
The bodyguard left and Seoham quickly dozed off again. It was still daytime but the trip surely tired him out.
Half an hour later, Seoham woke up to the sound of someone knocking at the door.
He sat up and went to the door. It was an elderly woman carrying a tub of kimchi with her.
“Hello, there! Halmeoni, what brings you here?” He greeted her politely as he bowed.
“Oh, goodness gracious, you are tall and handsome.” The elderly woman was surprised to see just how tall he was. “The other big man earlier went by to tell us elders in this town of your arrival and I just thought I should share this kimchi I made with my grandson with you. We will be neighbors for a couple of months after all.” She smiled as he handed him the tub.
“Thank you so much, halmeoni!” Seoham was so touched.
She handed him a large canvas bag. “I also have this bag of apples. It’s freshly harvested this morning.” The elderly woman looked so tiny but she was able to carry the heavy tub of kimchi and the big bag of apples all by herself. She was strong.
“You shouldn’t have to! Thank you so much!” Seoham took the kimchi and the apples to the kitchen. “Please, would you like to sit down and have a cup of tea?”
“I have to attend a card game with my friends at the recreation hall. Maybe some other time. You’re also welcome to visit my house, young man. I’m sure my husband, my grandson, and great granddaughter would love to have a friendly visitor. Oh, if you need to buy any daily necessities or some vegetables and meat, the grocery store is just down the street.” She was such a kind person.
“I promise to be a good neighbor, halmeoni.” Seoham bowed to her once again before she left. He was so grateful and he felt so welcomed.
Life in the countryside was so different from the city. He was sure he was going to love it here.
After taking a shower and changing into more comfortable clothing, he decided to also take a walk around the neighborhood. He also needed to buy toothpaste since he forgot to bring one. He made sure to text the bodyguard telling him that he was going out for a walk.
The sun had not yet set since it was only about 4 PM. He was enjoying the scenery around the neighborhood as he was walking to the grocery store. The houses in this village had the typical house structure of the rural farming area. He did a variety show before in a village like this and he loved the tranquil atmosphere there. The food was also always so fresh and delicious. He couldn’t wait to taste the kimchi Granny made. He then stopped in his tracks. He forgot to introduce his name!
He would make sure to visit her house next door and tell him his name and also asked her name.
The grocery store was indeed not too far from the villa. It was about a ten minute walk. As he was walking down the street, he did get some stares from some people due to his large and tall body. It was nothing new because even in the city he was stared at constantly so he just greeted them politely. He was used to it.
He then took a look around the aisles for the toothpaste. He was also going to buy some snacks and some fruits to give to his neighbor.
As he was scanning the snack aisle, suddenly he felt something bumping his leg.
“Woah…” A small voice said.
Seoham looked down and saw a little girl with pigtails looking up at him in wonder. “Hello, there!” He greeted her. “Are you looking for snacks?”
“Appa said no snacks before dinner…” She pouted adorably.
Seoham was squeeing on the inside with how cute she was.
“Mina! Come back here!” A familiar voice said.
“Oh no. It’s appa!” The little girl giggled as she hid behind Seoham’s legs.
Seoham’s eyes widened when he saw the man running toward him. How…?
It was Jaechan.