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He had experienced a lot of hardship and turmoil in his relatively short life.
But nothing like this.
Nothing like the heart-wrenching stab to the gut he was experiencing now. The emotional agony so intense that it was all he could do to not curl up in a ball, keening in pain as he took in the scene before him.
“No… you weren’t supposed to see this!” His lover whispered, seemingly glued to the spot in horror.
But all Heizou could see was the bloodied sword in his hand.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!” He screamed out.
Kazuha could only watch as his lover’s knees gave out from under him. He wished to reach out, to comfort his prince somehow and to stop the tears that were now freefalling from his eyes. But the sound of clanking armour, growing louder by the second – no doubt alerted by the scream – told him that he needed to escape.
No sooner had he finished that thought than hordes of castle guards poured through the door to the King’s bedroom. Even if he wanted to fight back – he didn’t, many of them were comrades in arms – it was impossible. His arms were wrenched behind his back and he might have been punched a few times, but if that was the case then he barely registered it. All of his attention was still on Heizou.
“I’m sorry, my love.” He said softly, even as he was being led away to the prison. “But I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore. I hope you can forgive me one day.”
But the only reply he heard from his beloved were more sobs.
---
The King was many things to his son. A fighter. A mentor. A storyteller. A selfish, bad-tempered brute. A man with many illegitimate heirs. A conqueror whose reach had expanded so far that most citizens of the kingdom didn’t know half of the lands that were now currently under their reign. Not that that meant much, when half of the populace was illiterate anyway.
Despite his many flaws, however, he had still been a memorable figure, beloved by some. Mostly his advisors and the people who profited from his conquests. Even by his son, though it had been much easier to do when he knew less of the world outside of the palace walls.
But, above all else, the one thing the king was now was dead. Deceased. And now his son was expected to rule in his stead. Well, not RIGHT now – after the coronation, but that was several months away still. As per tradition, the advisors would rule for now – teaching the prince and helping him become ready to rule. And the one thing that they taught him was that justice must be done, no matter the cost. It was a heavy burden for the prince to bear, they understood that well, but if not him, then who? Would he rely on someone else? Someone who would botch the job, most likely?
The king had given him a solemn and sacred duty before he died. It would be his dearest wish to see his son carry out justice in his name.
---
“Prince Heizou, they are waiting for you outside.”
“… Send him in.” He uttered. It was all he could say without feeling like he would vomit. His left hand covered the sword handle that was shaking in his right hand.
He could do this. He could do this. He HAD to do this.
The killer of his father needed to face justice.
“Um…” The guard leaned towards him, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I know that the King gave you this… job…” He could hear the word uttered with distaste in his general’s mouth. He clutched the sword tighter. “But… are you sure that you don’t want someone else taking over? Just this once? I know that it’s a lot for you already but-“
“I appreciate the concern, General Gorou,” And he would appreciate it a lot more if they weren’t in a room full of people. Advisors, ministers, courtiers… the upper echelons of society, all raising their eyebrows at a member of royalty having an extended discussion with someone who they saw as Unworthy Of Their Time. “… But I am fine. Really.”
“… If you say so.” But his old friend sounded unconvinced. “And, uh, if you need anything after all of… this-“ Gorou waved vaguely at the space around them, “Then just let me know. I’m here for you, okay? Not just as your general, but your friend too.”
Heizou could only manage to give a stiff nod. With a sigh, Gorou gave a small gesture. A second later, the doors opened and in walked Ka- no - the condemned criminal.
For a split second, he saw a glimpse of his lover’s - the CRIMINAL’S – mostly platinum blond hair. He then forced himself to look at the ground in front of him. He could do this. He HAD to do this. Not just for his father and his legacy, but also because of the simple fact that… he refused to let anyone else ever hurt him. He swore that much shortly before they became lovers, and it was true, even now.
Memories flooded his mind. Of bygone, happier days. Kazuha reading poetry to him with his soft and soothing voice, a voice so suitable for the beautiful language that flowed from his lips that Heizou often felt like that was what he was made for. Not to fight nor to craft swords, but to find beauty in the ordinary, and to write his musings down for others to read.
He could hear Kazuha's peals of laughter. He could see the dimples forming in his cheeks and creases beside his eyes that would appear - most notably when Heizou would discuss his more outlandish theories based off of the latest mystery book that he had read. Oh, to spend more golden autumn days together under the shade of his favourite apple tree-
“Kaedehara Kazuha.” The name spoken so coldly and formally brought the prince back to the present. “You are hereby sentenced to death for the crimes of high treason, and for the murder of our King, Shikanoin Katsuo.” Heizou shook the image of his father’s bloodied corpse from his head with a small shudder. “For these heinous crimes, you shall be beheaded. Do you have any final words?”
Heizou prayed that for once Kazuha would keep quiet. It would make everything so much easier if he kept quiet.
“It was worth it.” Came his soft and melodious voice. Gentle, but every word felt like a shard of glass ripping through the prince. “Every moment of my life was beautiful, even the heartbreak and loss I suffered made the cherished moments all the clearer and richer.
I do not regret what I did, but I do regret the pain and loss that followed in my attempt to guide our nation towards a brighter future.
“I know what will happen now and I am ready to face the consequences of my actions. I am only sorry that I will not see the kind of King my dear prince will become.” Heizou furiously blinked away tears from his eyes.
“Take care of our land and people. Become the kind, compassionate and frighteningly intelligent ruler I know that you can be. And know that… I bear no ill will towards you.” Heizou’s breath hitched.
“My feelings for you remain the same as they ever were.”
He heard Kazuha take a deep breath, a hint of shakiness to it. The only hint he gave for how he must be feeling inside.
And he was feeling that way because of Heizou. And he still loved him, even when they were in this situation together. His heart bled even more at this revelation.
Keep it together. Keep it together.
You can’t make it quick if you’re blinded by emotions.
The heartbreak can come later – right now, justice still needed to be carried out.
Oh archons, he hoped that he didn’t make it hurt-
“I’m ready.” Kazuha whispered. It was only at that moment that Heizou allowed himself to look at him.
His clothes were ragged and torn – gone were the red, white and black colour scheme, adorned by maple leaves, that he was so fond of wearing. Instead, he wore a tattered linen top that must have been white at some point, but had turned beige through wear and tear.
The same thing had happened to the trousers that the prison had provided him with. Maybe they had been an olive green once, but that had been years ago at this point.
His almost-white hair was slightly greasy now, and it was tied up in a messy bun with a few strands hanging loose.
His red streak of hair matched his eyes, still as large and doe-like as usual as they took in the room around him. Took in everything around him as much as he could.
He knew that look well, it was the look that people gave when they knew that they didn’t have long for this world.
His gaze landed on Heizou and, like a deer trapped in headlights, he was helpless to do anything but stare back. Stare back into their ruby red depths one last time.
Archons above, even like this he was so radiant and ethereally beautiful…
He tried to give one last comforting smile to Heizou, but as he did so a blindfold was fastened over his eyes. The prince instinctively wished to remove it again, to pick him up when he knelt on the ground, to take his neck off of that damn chopping block and move him to somewhere safe where no one could ever hurt him.
Instead, he found himself drawing his sword from his sheath. A sword that Kazuha, the son of a blacksmith, had made for him five years ago when he came of age. A maple leaf adorned the hilt of the sword that had seen him through many battles. And many executions too. Much blood had been spilt because of it, but Kazuha’s face always lit up whenever he saw it, and he beamed with pride whenever he was told how often Heizou maintained it. It was his finest work, he said. His crowning achievement, the result of his years of training and of blood, sweat, tears and many sleepless nights to make it absolutely perfect. It was a labour of love.
And now it was about to slay its creator.
No words of comfort came to him anymore, as he shakily held his sword to the back of Kazuha’s neck.
So wrong.
This was all so wrong.
Justice? Where was that in this scenario? It was just a pretty word for murder.
This was what his father wanted? Well, what did that matter, he was dead anyway.
And as for no one else harming Kazuha, that was nice in theory, but wouldn’t it be better if Kazuha wasn’t harmed at all?
“Deep breaths.” Kazuha’s voice roused him from his thoughts.
Dammit all to hell, even now he was STILL trying to help Heizou. But each time he spoke, it just caused more pain to his lover. There was only one way to stop it for good, but the will to carry out the sentence was diminishing moment by moment.
“Just close your eyes, and clear your mind… you can do it.”
“I can’t!” Heizou choked out before he could stop himself. He winced as he heard commotion rise amongst the spectators. He had honestly forgotten that anyone else was there. It was at moments like this that he was glad that the execution was supposed to be a private affair in the castle. Less jeers, insults and items hurled from the general populace that way.
“Useless, just as I thought you would be.” Sneered the Head Advisor. The second in command to his father, and who was probably responsible for much of the turmoil that the nation was going through. “Someone else take over, our young prince is still too wet behind the years to make the necessary sacrifices after all.” Heizou glared at him.
His shaking hands suddenly became still as a revelation came to him, logic breaking through his mind which had been clouded for far too long to see the truth. As long as men like him remained in power, Heizou doubted that he would ever be able to become king, and he couldn’t have that.
To grow a beautiful garden, all the ugly weeds needed to go.
“General Gorou!” The Advisor called out.
“Sir!” The young battle prodigy saluted smartly.
“Take over the prince’s duty. He’s too weak and incapable of doing so.”
“S-Sir?!”
“NO!!!” Heizou cried out, flinging his sword before he could stop himself. Years of battle experience came to his aid, and the advisor gave out a small gasp of pain before collapsing to the floor, blood pooling from his chest.
The other advisors and courtiers shrieked in horror at the sight.
Funny, they hadn’t seemed all that concerned a few seconds ago when it was Kazuha’s life on the line.
But whose fault was it that that had happened anyway? If it were up to Heizou, Kazuha would have been pardoned in a heartbeat. It was his father’s advisors who were in the way. They were the reason why he wasn’t King yet.
But they were cowering in fear now. Seemed like an opportune time to make some changes around here…
“No one will harm Kaedehara Kazuha.” Heizou announced coldly as he approached the cowering traitors who had filled his recent life with so much grief. “As the new King, I hereby pardon him and absolve him of all crimes.”
“You- you can’t do that-“
“Can I not?” He asked as he pulled his sword from the advisor’s body and scrutinised it. Pity that it was now adorned with the blood of a coward. He watched as one of the other advisors seemed to retch at the view. “Since my father is dead and I am the sole heir to the throne, I believe that I can. You just wish me to believe otherwise, to follow all of these rules and principles, because they help YOU stay in power for longer.
So what should I do with traitors to my reign…?”
“P-Please… please spare us!”
“Hmmm… well of course you would say something cowardly like that. Lucky for you I am feeling generous and I don’t want any more blood shed today. Guards?”
“Yes sir!”
“My father’s advisors are hereby banished from my kingdom. Kindly escort them out of the castle and to the docks and remind them not to return here under pain of death.”
“Sir!”
His old friends Gorou and Ayato both gave him small smiles as they carried out their order. Good. At least it seemed like that was the right course of action. He had never liked giving orders like that – he was much more like his mother than his father in that regard – but at least the performance seemed to pay off…?
He listened as the cries and pleas for mercy, as well as the stomping of armoured boots, faded into the background. He turned around and- dammit, everyone else was still here.
“Everyone, vacate this room and return to your prior duties.” He announced. “I wish to have a word with Kaedehara Kazuha. Alone.”
Everyone immediately rushed out of the doors as fast as possible, leaving him with his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was still blindfolded and bound, kneeling on the floor.
Kicking the chopping block out of the way, he knelt down also. This close, he could see the faintest traces of freckles dusting his beloved’s cheeks. The small scar on his forehead (which Heizou DEFINITELY wasn’t responsible for). How his eyebrows shone silver when they hit the sunlight just right.
“Is everyone gone?” He asked. His voice was barely a whisper, but with Kazuha’s keen sense of hearing that wouldn’t be a problem anyway.
“Yes.” Kazuha murmured back after a brief pause of silence. “I can hear no unusual movement, I believe that we are alone now.
…
That was a bold move, Your Majesty.” He said with a small lilt that made Heizou’s chest do a somersault. Something that wouldn’t have happened if he just followed the plan a few minutes earlier.
And just like that, all of the emotions of the day came welling up in his chest once again. “It was risky, but I think- oh, oh no, are you crying?” His lover’s brows furrowed in concern.
“I’m so- I’m so sorry!” He wept, clinging onto Kazuha like his life depended on it. “I was… I was such an idiot, relying on honour and their… idea of justice…”
“You do make better choices when you rely on your intuition…” Kazuha agreed, leaning into Heizou’s hug as best as he could. “… But I forgive you.”
“You… you forgive me far too easily.” He wept. “I was supposed to… to… you know. But you forgave me anyway.”
“… It was harder this time.” Kazuha admitted. The realisation made Heizou hug him all the tighter. “But I knew that I had to face the consequences of my actions and I also knew that you didn’t want to do it either.”
“I should’ve… I should’ve told you to run that day. Then none of this would have happened.”
“Hey…” Kazuha’s voice was so soft that Heizou felt like he could melt into it. “What’s done is done. There is no use worrying about what could, or should, have been.
But if you want to make it up to me there are… some things that you can do for me.”
“What??” Heizou’s eyes widened.
“Could you please take off my blindfold and untie me? These ropes are rather uncomfortable.”
“O-Oh…” He had been too caught up in emotions to remember to do that.
With gentle hands, he lifted the blindfold up and off of his lover’s head, smiling as he watched Kazuha blink repeatedly until the world came back into focus.
“Ah.” He smiled serenely as his gaze locked with his prince. No, not his prince anymore. His KING. His puffy-eyed boyfriend whose nose was running and whose eyes had such dark circles underneath that his moles were barely visible. Even like this, he was so breath-takingly handsome. “There you are, my love.”
“… Your eyes are so beautiful.” Heizou breathed as he gazed into their wine-red depths. “I’m so happy that I get to see them again…” Kazuha’s heart gave a small pang at that.
He needed to hug him. Now.
“Can you untie my hands too, please?”
“O-Of course… um…” He examined the ropes behind Kazuha’s back for roughly two seconds before giving up and cutting him loose with his sword.
With that one, smooth motion (which could only have come from a very well-maintained sword), Kazuha was free. Free to go outside and listen to the birds in the trees again. Free to visit his father at his smithy in the barracks again.
But, more importantly, he was free to pull Heizou into the kiss that he had wanted to give so badly. A kiss that was eagerly returned.
He wanted to savour this moment for the rest of his life. His very first kiss after his supposed-execution. After his resurrection, to put it poetically.
Into it he poured all of his love and passion. All the secrets, regrets and stories that he never would have been able to share with Heizou otherwise. His hope for the future, now that his beloved was soon to be on the throne.
There would be many trials and tribulations that came their way but as he breathed in the wondrous scent of his lover – of old books, apples and ink, he poured into the kiss a promise to be there for him no matter what. He would never make him cry like this again.
How long they stayed like that, neither of them knew nor cared. But when Heizou was first to break the kiss, he merely did so in order to lean against Kazuha’s chest, and listen to his lover’s heartbeat hammering away.
“I love you.” He breathed, his eyes closing as Kazuha gently ran his fingers through his hair.
“I love you too.” Kazuha replied, in a voice so soft it reminded the king of the finest feathers. “So much.”
“I love you and I’m so sorry. For everything.”
“I’m sorry for everything too. I never wished to hurt you. I thought I had planned everything out that day, but I failed to take into account your intuition. I failed to realise how much my actions would hurt you.”
“… Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“When you… killed my father, of course I was shocked and saddened by it. At least at first. But over time, that stopped bothering me so much. Near the end, I was doing my best to be loyal to him for the kingdom’s sake. I think I stopped loving him a while ago.
… What bothered me more after he died was how all of his responsibilities suddenly fell on my shoulders. And being told, time and time again, what a good king SHOULD do and it was never what I wanted to do.
I never wanted… all of this to happen. I just…
I should have listened to my brain and intuition more.”
“Well… I am alive now. Which is also thanks to you. In the end, you saved me.” He kissed Heizou on the head. “Thank you, my king.”
Saved...
He SAVED Kaedehara Kazuha.
That realisation filled him with so much warmth and happiness. He was still a good man, even after all of this. He was still capable of saving people.
“… You’re welcome.” Muttered the new king, his face flushed red as he buried his face in Kazuha’s chest. “And I’ll do it again. As many times as I need to.”
“Hopefully it won’t have to happen again.” Kazuha chuckled. Heizou hadn’t realised how much he missed that sound until just then. He could listen to it forever, and he hopefully would. “And know that the feeling is mutual. I will save you as many times as I have to. I always wish to be by your side, no matter what.”
“… Will you marry me?”
“What?” Kazuha’s eyes widened in surprise.
“I want to be by your side forever too. I can’t bear the thought of ever losing you again and I love you so much that it makes my chest ache. You clearly feel the same way too, so will you marry me?”
“I would, if it was allowed of us. If our existence was legal, then I would marry you in a heartbeat.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Heizou asked, sitting up and raising an eyebrow as a grin spread across his face. Good. That look suited him so much better. “I’ll make it legal, just you wait!”
Kazuha stared at him and his smarter-than-thou grin for a few moments, before another soft chuckle left his mouth again.
“You will make a lot of enemies during your reign. You know that, don’t you?”
“When haven’t I?” He asked drily. “Besides, as long as we have each other we’ll be fine.”
“Do you promise that?”
“I do.”
And with that, they sealed their promise, their hopes for the future, within a kiss.