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Hyunjin has a video saved of Minho with his first snow after he starts shifting again. It’s one of his favourites, for so many reasons. Mainly because it was hilariously endearing to watch the older flip out like a pup witnessing his first snow, but also because it’s such a simple moment that holds a lot of meaning for all of them.
They had gone as a pack to the park because a certain someone had been getting antsy after being cooped up inside for far too long. Chan had insisted on bundling them up and dragging everyone out to the nearest park that would still give them leg room to run about if anyone wanted to shift, even if the temperatures were steadily dropping as the snowstorm creeped in.
Jisung had remained firmly tucked underneath Chan’s arm the entire walk there, freezing even though he was bundled up just short of the Michelin man. For as long as they were outside he was going to leech off of Chan’s body heat. The others could romp around as much as they liked, but Jisung was going to stay here and go nowhere.
“It’s cooooolllllllddd,” he wailed dramatically when the first few flakes started to fall.
Chan just laughed and held him closer, watching half of his pack run around the park like maniacs, the other half clinging to him as if he was the only thing keeping them alive at this point. Jeongin, Minho, Changbin, and Felix were taking full advantage not being in the apartment, running and playing, tumbling all over the cold ground. They didn’t notice the snow falling at first until it really started coming down.
Hyunjin had originally brought out his phone to take a few pictures of the scenery, maybe see if he could grab a photo or two of his pack being the idiots and dorks they were, when Minho had frozen completely where he stood.
He raised his grey head to the sky, looking at it offensively, as if it had just had the audacity to attack him, when a big snowflake landed on his nose. The picture Hyunjin got was priceless, the older wolf going near cross-eyed trying to see the melting snow on his snout.
The snow continued to steadily increase in its descent over the next half-hour until it was a proper flurry of silent flakes swirling around them. The rest had continued on playing as if the snow was a new plaything, snapping and chasing it as fast as they could, but Minho had stayed stock-still for several minutes before his thick fur poofed out as if he was a threatened cat (Chan didn’t even know a wolf could puff out like a cat, though he supposed this might be a Minho-only trait) and he took off like his tail was on fire.
“Are you getting this?” Jisung leaned over towards Hyunjin, trying to see if he was recording or not.
“Definitely.” The red wolf smiled mischievously, lip curling.
Minho tears tracks through the snow-covered grass, a grey blur that ends up barreling into the other three, sliding to a stop in front of Changbin. He bends down on his front paws, bum and tail in the air and then…
He bats Changbin on the snout with his paw.
The look of shock the silver wolf carries is enough to send Chan into a fit of laughter, taking Jisung with him as he bends over, Minho tossing his head and woofing at Changbin before batting at him playfully again.
Come on, Minho seems to be saying. Fight me.
It’s not often Minho is in the playful mood akin to a puppy. In fact, none of them can recollect Minho ever acting like this. Ever.
Changbin ducks underneath Minho’s next bat and takes aim at a front leg, biting down on air as Minho jumps away, tail wagging in excitement. The grey wolf growls playfully, Changbin reciprocating it, and then Jeongin decides to take things into his own hands and make things more exciting, taking a bite at one of Felix’s ears, the blond wolf starting in surprise and biting back, falling over into Changbin’s back as he loses his balance.
An all out brawl erupts, snow flying up everywhere as the four wolves fight and play. Seungmin shifts and joins in the fighting and eventually so does Hyunjin, leaving Jisung and Chan standing there, Jisung still clinging tightly to Chan.
“I know it was Hyunjin that brought you to him, but thank you for pulling Minho into our pack,” Jisung suddenly says.
“What makes you say that?” Chan pokes Jisung lightly, a teasing tone to his voice.
“I dunno,” Jisung shrugs. “Just felt like saying it.”
Chan pulls Jisung closer in a tight hug, Jisung melting against him easily.
“You’re welcome, Ji.”
The pack ends up tramping home through the snow late in the night, fur soaking wet for those that had decided to remain shifted. They’re cold, teeth chattering as they shiver and run through the streets to get to home, bursting in in a heap of human and wolf bodies trying to cram through the door to claim the hot showers before everyone else can.
Chan switches off the last light in the living room and walks over to the pile of mattresses they had pulled out to do a pack pile, sliding in underneath the blankets next to Felix, who cracks an eye open before shutting it again and wrapping himself around Chan like an octopus, nestling his head underneath Chan’s chin.
“Night, little one,” Chan whispers, burying his nose in Felix’s fluffy hair, holding him close, sleep pulling him down underneath her waves easily tonight for once.
“Night, Chan,” Felix whispers back.
~~~
Sometimes, Minho forgets he can shift.
He forgets that everything is okay, that the others know, and that he’s safe.
He forgets to include himself in the number when he cooks up a storm the day before the full moon and he forgets he can go to the changing grounds and run with the rest of his pack.
Minho will start slinking around the apartment when he forgets and needs to shift, his wolf starting to whine a bit at not being let out and be free with the others. He knows he can go a long, long time without shifting and it doesn’t entirely cross his mind that he hasn’t shifted in awhile and is avoiding it.
“Minho, you want to come on a run with us to the park?”
“Come join the cuddle pile?”
“Are you okay?”
Minho looks up from what he’s doing when Chan sits down across from him at the kitchen table. Kitchen spices are laid out on the table, new bags and empty jars waiting to be filled. It’s a mix of aroma filling the air, tickling their noses in a way that almost makes them want to sneeze.
“What makes you say that?”
“You haven’t shifted in a bit, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Chan says carefully. He reaches out a hand for the jar Minho just filled with cinnamon, screwing the lid on it and setting to the side with the other filled jars.
Minho pauses mid-action filling the other jar, a bit surprised that Chan would even notice things like that.
He hadn’t noticed.
“Oh,” he says. His wolf whines a bit, an uncomfortably tight feeling banding across Minho’s chest, making breathing a bit more difficult.
“Minho?”
The pack bond hums quietly with concern as Chan reaches over to take the jar and bag of loose spice out of Minho’s loose grip.
“I−“
“You’re not in trouble. I promise you’re not in trouble, Minho.”
“Then why…”
“Because I care about you, and as a pack alpha, your wellbeing and health is my concern.”
“…Oh.”
Hyunjin floats into the room, eyeing the two oldest sitting at the table out of the corner of his eye as he moves into the kitchen and out of sight. He can be heard rummaging around in the fridge, then he reappears a minute later, holding a soda, vanishing into the living room where the others were, a movie playing in the background.
Minho kept his eyes on the blue brace that holds Hyunjin’s recently injured fingers together into place to try and ease the discomfort while making sure they heal properly the entire time he’s in Minho’s sight. There had been plenty of accidents in the time he had been with the pack, it was to be expected. But when this one had happened, it had brought back the memories of when Ryujin had gotten injured in the trap and his old pack alpha had done nothing to help. When the accident had happened, Minho had been thrown back to that horrible night and had moved down the hall at the speed of light, only to come to a screeching halt when he saw Chan already there, carefully cradling Hyunjin and his hand before hustling them out of the house and to the hospital.
Chan had been there. He had reacted immediately, quickly, and patiently. Minho knew that Chan would always take care of his pack, put them before himself, but each time when there were moments where a pack alpha was needed, Chan would prove himself time and again that he would step up to the plate.
Minho fiddled with his fingers before taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.
“I just forget. It’s nothing you guys are doing and nothing I’m doing exactly. I’m just…used to keeping my wolf hidden away and I forget that I’m safe.”
“And that you’re not feral.”
“Right.”
Chan looks at Minho very, very seriously. “I mean that, Minho.”
The pack bond hums with comfort. It doesn’t burn or sting. It’s a reminder of the safety and comfort that Minho has. A reminder that he’s fought long enough and can let the past go. Chan risked his life to help Minho, so selflessly because he thought that Minho was worth it.
“Can we fix it?” Minho asks hesitantly, wincing slightly as his wording but not knowing how else to say it.
Chan’s hands flex, like he wants to reach across the table to hold Minho’s hands, but doesn’t.
“Yes, we can,” Chan says with conviction. “It’ll take time, but we can.”
Minho reaches out and grasps Chan’s hands, holding onto them tightly, a small smile raising the corners of his lips.
~~~
Him and Chan have split up to get the groceries done quicker. It’s supposed to be a quick trip, but time slows to a halt when he rounds the corner and see Minhyuk standing there in the aisle.
The older wolf doesn’t notice him, not at first. Not until he turns and sees Minho standing there.
“Minho?” Minhyuk looks incredulous, voice coloured with surprised. He takes a step forward, then stops.
Minho could turn away right now. Walk away and go find Chan. He does not have to stand and talk to Minhyuk or even acknowledge him.
But he stays.
His feelings on Minhyuk are mixed. The older wolf, the one that had helped protect Minho and his mom in his childhood had grown distant the older Minho got. The last time Minho had seen him had been the fateful night Minho had finally lost everything. And he had done nothing to stop the pack alpha from doing what he did to Minho.
“Minhyuk,” Minho says civilly, voice icy underneath the words. “Nice to see you.”
He turns on his heel but stops when Minhyuk says, “Wait, Minho. Just, hold on for a second, please?”
Minho considers not turning around. Considers walking away and finding Chan. He should have done that to start with, yet…
“What, Minhyuk?” Minho says as he pivots to face the older. “Make it quick, because my patience is thin today.”
“I’m sorry. I know that those words are probably cheap by now, but I’m sorry.”
“Is there a problem here?”
Minho has never been so glad to see Chan in his menacing pack alpha mode. He’s not afraid to take a slight step behind Chan either, as the older faces Minhyuk.
Minhyuk, to his credit, takes a step back, bowing his head a little bit in a polite greeting, recognizing he’s in the presence of an alpha, even though Chan is a young one.
“Not exactly,” Minho mutters quietly to Chan. “This is Minhyuk, he’s from…my old pack. It’s just him, though. I haven’t seen anyone else.”
Chan nods, glancing at Minho quickly to get a gauge his reaction before turning his attention back to Minhyuk.
“If you have nothing else to say, we’ll be leaving,” Chan says stiffly.
“I have all of your stuff from your old packhouse,” Minhyuk says quickly. “All of you and your mom’s belongings. I kept them in hope that maybe you might come back for them, but…Anyways, if you want them, I could drop them off at your place?”
Minho can’t think. He can’t breathe. Never in a million years did he think that he would be able to see any of his family belongings again. He had given up ever being able to go back to that stuff ever again and that had been a long grieving process.
“I don’t want him coming anywhere near the house,” Chan said lowly to Minho. “I won’t stop you from getting it if you want, but he can’t come anywhere near the house.”
Minho nods in agreement. He doesn’t want Minhyuk near the house either, or the pups. Not ever.
“Give me your number,” Minho says, flipping over the paper his list had been on, handing it and the pen over to Minhyuk. “I’ll call you if I decide.”
Minhyuk nods and quickly writes down his number, handing it back over. They quickly say goodbye and then Chan and Minho are booking it out of there, half of the list abandoned because neither of them want to stick around.
Chan decides to go to a different store a few blocks away, pulling into the parking lot, and sitting for a minute after he turns the car off. It’s quiet, something Minho really appreciates. His hands are shaking and he feels completely shaken by the encounter.
“You okay?” Chan eventually asks.
“No,” Minho says. “But I will be.”
He waits in the car while Chan finishes up the grocery shopping, taking the time to collect himself.
Minho eventually decides to have Minhyuk give him the boxes a few weeks later, but he calls him from Chan’s phone so that there’s no possible way anyone from his old pack can get their hands on Minho’s number, and it’s Chan and Changbin that go to pick up the boxes. Minho’s never been so grateful for the (sometimes) overly forgiving nature of his packmates and their willingness to put themselves out there for their packmates.
Minho’s sitting in his room amongst the cardboard boxes Chan and Changbin had brought it. There’s about a dozen of them, ranging in various sizes. The one Minho has in front of him is labelled Minho, Baby.
He stares at it for a long, long time before he cuts the tape and opens it.
“Oh my gosh, you were such a tiny fluffball!”
“Don’t mock me. I was very fierce for my age, I’ll have you know.”
Chan carefully pokes his head around the doorframe of Minho’s bedroom, surprised to see the four same-age wolves plus Jeongin piled around Minho, who’s sitting in the middle of a pile of belongings neatly piled around him. There’s what looks like an old quilted baby blanket draped over his legs, a photobook open on his lap.
“This was the first time I fell asleep on the couch,” Minho continues, pointing at a picture. “I don’t know why Mom took a picture of me doing that. Guess it was entertaining.”
Chan slips in and sits down behind Seungmin, wrapping around him and resting his chin on the younger’s shoulder so he can see what Minho’s showing them.
Minho glances at him briefly, flipping a couple pages before he lands on one that takes up the whole page.
“And this is my mom,” Minho says quietly. His fingers gently trace the photo. The background is overlooking the valley nestled at the base of the mountains, a low fence surrounding what looks like a backyard. Minho’s mom is smiling, her long dark hair woven in a braid that comes over her shoulder, Minho’s small hands tangled in it as she holds him on her hip. He’s obviously not focused on anything else than his mom’s hair but it’s still an adorable picture, Minho not more than two, maybe three.
“Your mom seems like she was very cool,” Hyunjin says.
“She was,” Minho replies, sounding like he’s somewhere else. “Mom was the best.”
Changbin joins them eventually, having gotten suspicious as to why the house had suddenly gone quiet. It’s an evening spent of Minho recounting the less painful moments of his childhood and growing up to them, showing them pictures of him and his mom, of his grandparents. There’s a few scenic photos of the valley Minho had grown up that are quickly passed over, but it’s overall a fun night learning more about the second oldest and getting a glimpse into his past.
Minho comes to see Hyunjin later that night, after they’ve all gone to bed and the pictures are packed away again in the box.
“I just wanted to tell you thank you for befriending the prickly, ornery cashier at the convenience store all those years ago.” Minho traces the pattern on the quilt that’s over Hyunjin’s bed, the younger watching him carefully. “I’m not so sure I would’ve made it if it hadn’t been for you.”
“Hey, what’s family for if not picking each other back up?” Hyunjin said lightly.
Minho nods, then suddenly embraces Hyunjin, surprising the younger.
“Thank you, Hyunjin,” Minho says quietly. “Thank you.”
~~~
Jeongin steps out of the house, messenger bag slung over his shoulder, the spring air filling his lungs with his first deep breath.
Today is the first day of school for him. University, no less. He’s come a long way from the scared wolf pup that hid under the kitchen table and was terrified of everything, biting whoever came too close.
Well, he still likes to nibble fingers, but that’s besides the point.
“Ready to go?”
Minho tosses the car keys to Jeongin, who catches them mid-air. “As I’ll ever be.”
“You’ll be fine,” Minho pats his shoulder before going around the car and sliding into the passenger seat.
Jeongin dumps his bag into the backseat of the car and climbs into the driver’s seat, turning the car on and carefully backing out of the driveway, setting off for the highway towards the school. He had worked very hard on his driving with Minho all last year until he had been deemed ready to pass the driver’s test.
He had passed with flying colours, much to his eternal smugness, everyone else (sans Minho) having had to take it twice to get their licenses.
Jeongin had decided he didn’t want to deal with the chaos of dorms his first semester, especially since he was starting in the spring and not the fall, so he was commuting to university for the time being. Today, Minho was dropping him off and then Chan would pick him up later on his way back from work. It was going to take some getting used to, but Jeongin was looking forward to the change.
The drive to university goes smoothly and soon, Jeongin is walking down the sidewalks of the campus, Minho driving away after giving him a crushing hug and threat if he got into any trouble.
Minho, for his part, feels very proud as he watches Jeongin walk confidently down the sidewalk to the building where his first class should be located. His wolf is preening too, very proud, very proud for having been able to have been successful with such a critical role within the pack.
He feels accomplished.
And an overwhelming feeling of love that he’ll never tell anyone else about (though the pack will know anyways).
~~~
It’s a stupidly hot summer morning, Minho is out for a run in a nearby park because he woke up too early and feeling like he wanted to suffer (not really).
There’s a handful of young women walking around the same loop Minho is running, but he doesn’t pay any attention to them, not even as he passes them.
Not until he gets a shocked, “Minho?!” yelling at him from behind.
He swerves around, the voice sounding vaguely familiar, but he can’t place it.
The girl with dark hair in two buns on top of her head waves at him, her other hand wrapped in a support brace resting at her side. “Minho!”
“Sorry, do I know you?” he shouts back. He can’t quite see the girl’s face from here but he does see the rest of her deflate at his words.
“It’s me, Ryujin!”
They’re closer now, close enough that Minho can actually see them clearly.
And oh. Oh.
Last time Minho had seen Ryujin, she had been in her mid-teens, lying in a hospital bed, unconscious with her wrist and arm in a cast. That had years ago, in a different time, a different place.
His eyes slip down to the brace wrapped around her wrist and he wonders…
“Girls, this is Minho,” Ryujin introduces. “Minho’s from my old pack. Minho, this is Lia, Chaeryeong, Yuna, and my pack alpha, Yeji.”
Yeji nods at Minho, looking him over with a look he knows well from Chan, the one of a pack alpha evaluating the level of threat to their pack. Her wild cotton candy hair is pulled up into a ponytail and something about it and the way she holds herself makes the corners of Minho’s lips quirk up.
But then his brain catches up with what Ryujin said and he looks at her quickly. “Wait, old pack?”
Ryujin grimaces. “It got worse after you left. Long story short, Chaeryeong and Yeji got me out of there. They offered a place for me to stay and I took it.”
Minho nods, noting that Chaeryeong’s the one with the cherry red hair standing next to Ryujin. He doesn’t pry, doesn’t need to know that, not now. He had witnessed some of the worst the pack had, he knows what lurked in the dark shadows.
“And your wrist?” he asks carefully, curiosity getting the better of him.
Ryujin smirks, holding it up. “Healed just fine. It aches here and there, but otherwise it’s as good as new.”
“Ryujin says you saved her from the trap,” the blonde, Yuna, pips up, looking over the shoulder of who Minho thought was Lia, her brown to ashy blonde ombre hair woven into a braid to keep it out of the way. “That you’re the reason she didn’t lose a paw.”
Minho shrugs. “I just did what any wolf would do.”
Ryujin’s eyes darken but she doesn’t call Minho out on his bullcrap. Both of them know what happened and neither of them want to relive it right now.
“Here, why don’t you give me your number and we can catch up sometime?” Minho says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and giving it to Ryujin with a new contact open.
They chit-chat for a bit more before Minho realizes the time and has to take off, since he needs to be home to get started on preparation for the full moon tomorrow.
It’s weird seeing Ryujin again, but he’s over the moon that she’s safe and happy.
Just like he is.
~~~
Chan’s in a mood to spread the love for his pack this morning. There’s one target in particular he has in mind, one who he knows is feeling a little sleepier and a little more forgiving with sudden affection and expressions of Chan’s undying love than usual. So yes, Chan’s one-hundred-percent going to take advantage of that while he can, thanks for asking.
He trots into the kitchen, past the same-aged pups who are slogging through their breakfast in various states of awakeness, and spots his target elbow deep in soapy water at the sink, working away at the forgotten dishes from last night’s dinner. With an excited scamper across the remaining distance, Chan nudges the leg of his target to let him know he’s right there before he raises himself up on his back legs and drapes himself over the back of his target, front legs and paws over the shoulders, his head resting on top of the other, in a sort of hug.
(He’s not feeling very human today, so wolf hugs will have to do)
“Oof, Chan.”
Minho stumbles a little bit from Chan’s weight suddenly dropped onto his back but quickly rebalances himself to compensate for the additional load. Chan isn’t exactly the smallest wolf of the pack, usually dwarfing Felix’s wolf form by a good couple of hands, his massive brown wolf form easily almost as tall as Minho’s.
Chan woofs, settling his weight completely on Minho, content to just stand there while the older works on the dishes, even as his back legs gradually grow uncomfortable from the unusual position they’re in.
They don’t see the kids staring at them from the kitchen, eyes wide, spoonfuls of cereal halfway to the mouths of some.
“No, Chan, you can’t eat the soap bubbles.”
Growl.
“Chan! That tickles! Get your nose out from behind my ear!”
Woof. Rumbling.
“No.”
Whining.
“I said no, Chan. I got stuff to do.”
Minho freezes when he feels Chan nuzzle the pack mark on the back of his neck, twitching nose cold and damp on the back of his neck. Pack alphas have been known to use the pack mark as a source of controlling their pack, the fear from losing it and possibly dying from it being removed (Minho had no idea how close to death he had come when his old pack alpha had removed the pack mark and bond of the pack, a secret the fates would keep well hidden). Even stronger alphas controlled the pack bond to a suffocating degree, something Minho knew Chan was capable of but had only done once when Jisung had panicked so badly they couldn’t reach him by any other means.
It scares Minho a little bit that Chan is inspecting the pack mark, until he feels the teeth of the older brown wolf gently resting on it, as if to reassure Minho it’s still there, it’s still his. That he is Chan’s and part of Chan’s pack forever.
Suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, Minho shifts and bows low to Chan in the form of deep respect, trying to show the alpha what he’s not sure he could ever convey with words.
Chan nuzzles Minho’s face, pushing his snout underneath Minho’s jaw and forcing it up so Minho isn’t lying completely on the floor.
You bow to no one, Chan rumbles warmly. Not even me. You’ve done well, Minho.
Minho shifts again and falls backwards against the cabinets, back hitting the wood painfully as he suddenly starts sobbing, surprising himself with the forcefulness of his cries, but is ultimately too overwhelmed to care.
The kids are nowhere to be seen, the kitchen and dining room devoid of any of the pups, so he can let his emotions and unravel in peace.
He feels a human hand comb through his hair, down the back of his neck, repeating the action in an attempt to help soothe the overwhelmed wolf.
Minho lifts his head slightly once he feels a little more under control, tear-filled eyes coming to meet Chan’s understanding ones.
The pack alpha leans forward and presses his forehead against Minho’s, both of them closing their eyes. It’s not unlike that night after Minho had shifted for the first time in years and been officially accepted by Chan, finally free of the chains that had been holding him down.
Chan is everything his old alpha was not. Chan keeps them safe, keeps them warm, keeps them protected. He watches over them and makes sure that all eight of them are provided for. He guides and directs those younger than him with a wisdom greater than his years, and not once has Minho felt unsafe or worried for the safety of the pups or himself.
Minho can be himself. Minho can be a wolf. Minho can be free within his own pack.
“Thank you,” Minho whispers, voice heavy with emotion. “Thank you.”
~~~
The full moon is beautiful.
Minho looks at it from where he’s sitting at the edge of the fire, snout tilted up into the air so he can see it properly in all its glory.
Seungmin and Felix come over and lie down next to him, panting from having been running through the woods as fast as he could. Felix is covered from head to toe in berry stains, his usually blond fur a myriad of purples and reds, making him look like an oddly mottled horse.
The sight makes Minho bark a laugh before he turns back to viewing the moon.
Jisung eventually comes over to their little huddle, shifting and draping over Minho, who makes sure to shove his snout in Jisung’s ear as payback before settling down smugly, Jisung shrieking loudly at the action and jumping away from Minho, rubbing at his ear.
He feels wild and free, whole and as healed as he can be. Each full moon that Minho had been a part of since he had found out he wasn’t feral had gotten better and better, deepening his bond with the pack further than he could have imagined before.
Eventually the moon reaches its peak and they all gather around the campfire and howl, a beautiful, harmonious sound that curls through the air.
It’s in the wee hours of the morning when they finally pile into the tent to sleep, the sun just barely starting to show her rays over the ridge of the mountains they had decided to travel to this month for the full moon instead of their usual spot a couple hours outside the city. Minho finds himself in the middle of the huddle, staring up at the ceiling of the tent, utterly exhausted and sore, but unable to completely shut his mind off just yet.
Something in him compels him to sit up and he finds himself doing a head count, taking note of where each of the kids are lying. Jeongin and Seungmin are bundled up in the corner, next to each other but underneath separate blankets. Changbin’s on his own underneath the window, rolled up tightly in a single blanket. Felix and Hyunjin are wrapped around each other next to Minho and it’s hard to tell who ends and starts where. Jisung is right on Minho’s other side, Chan sleeping in front of the door, in case they have any intruders.
And speaking of his alpha, Chan turns his head and catches Minho doing his head count.
“Everything okay?” Chan whispers groggily.
“Yup,” Minho whispers back. Then he lies down and scoots closer to Jisung, falling asleep quickly.
Everything is more than okay.
And that’s all Minho ever wanted.