Chapter Text
Greta walked as quick as she dared, bare arms crossed, hands hugging herself, a chill making her arm hairs rise on this strange summer night. She was cutting through alleys and sticking to the shadows as she sought out Carson, and this stupid bar. She knew better, she really did, but since the day she met that damn dimpled catcher, she had thought of little else but being around her.
Like a moth to a flame.
No, she wouldn’t go to this bar, even for Carson, Greta had told Jo, whom she knew would understand. It wasn’t safe for her, yet that wasn’t the main reason. Mostly it wasn’t safe for Carson, who had no idea how cruel this world really was. No idea what the world did to people like them. People who weren't really “normal,” like her friend had once claimed to be.
She had panicked when Carson told her about the bar she had found, chasing after Lupe. She panicked even more when Carson said she planned to go again. She had thought by telling the girl, her girl, that no she wouldn’t go, that Carson would stay home too. Safe in their Rockford house. Or at least as safe as girls like them could be.
Not for the first time since they met, Carson surprised her. She still wanted to go, didn’t care about the risks. “It’s great there… amazing to be myself in public…there are so many people there, like us, it almost feels like we are the normal ones.” She had rambled on, in her cute little Carson way.
“Go with me,” she had pleaded, when all else failed.
“I can’t,” came Greta’s reasonable reply. “And you shouldn’t either.” The same response to the same question that Carson had asked for a few weeks now.
Then the time came. The first chance the girls had to go in weeks. Shaw had snuck out with Lupe and Jess. Hell-bent on going to this damn bar, even if Greta refused to go with her. Greta lasted about an hour, pacing her and Jess’s room, wearing out the carpet as they say. Worrying about Carson. Missing the girl who brought out the best in her. So, Greta did what she had never done before this intoxicating woman; broke another rule to follow her girl.
She didn’t think the bar would be too hard to find. Rockford wasn’t that big, and Greta had the gist of what she was looking for based on Carson’s description of a tax office of all places. Greta understood the need for secrecy, probably more than most, and had to admit it was a good cover, despite the late hours it operated in.
Within minutes, she finally found the office, the only one that still had lights on at this time of night.
“Are you a friend of Dorothy?” the unremarkable man asked from behind his desk.
“Yes,” Greta knew to respond, after Carson’s tale of awkwardness when he had first asked her the same question.
“She’s right through here,” the man explained, opening a creaky door, and leaving her to it. Keeping watch for the next patron. The next queer. The next friend of Dorothy.
The hallway was mostly dark, and Greta began to wonder if she was really in the right place, even though she could faintly hear music coming from somewhere nearby. When she came upon another, smaller door, she took a deep breath and opened it. Here goes nothing.
She looked around at what appeared like any other bar, minus the secrecy, and had to smile. The atmosphere was just as Carson had explained. Warm, inviting, seemingly safe. She allowed herself just a moment to take in her surroundings and to look for Carson in this smoky room.
“Can I help you?” A woman in a suit, hair chopped short like a man’s asked. Like Jo, the non-feminine look fit this woman.
“I’m just looking for my friends,” Greta explained.
“Dorothy?” the woman asked cheekily.
“Well, her, and them,” Greta pointed out, once she saw Jess and Lupe at a table, women hanging onto each of them. Somehow that fit.
“I thought you looked familiar. Gill, right? You play first base?”
Fuck.
Greta knew she shouldn’t have come. There would be no anonymity locally as they were kind of famous around these parts. Despite all the years Greta had perfected hiding her true feelings, the panic must have been evident.
“It’s okay,” the woman soothed. “You are among friends.”
“Okay,” Greta breathed.
“Okay,” the woman confirmed. “Why don’t you go sit with your friends, and I will get you a drink. What’s your poison?”
“A martini…dirty”
She smiled when the woman chuckled, and almost half meant it, her blood pressure starting to come down from its earlier spike. She was almost to her friends table, when she saw Carson, in the cute little blue skirt and matching top that she had left in, dancing with another woman. Dancing real close to another woman.
What the fuck?
Greta stopped right beside Jess and Lupe’s table; her rising temperature coursed through her veins. She knew jealousy was unbecoming of a lady, but in this moment, she had no control over her body. Or it’s reaction to what she was seeing.
Jess noticed her first, and said, “Oh hey, roomie. Glad you made it.”
Greta nodded in response but never took her eyes off Carson, or the bitch in pants and a button-down shirt that had her arms wrapped around Greta’s girl.
Jess followed Greta’s eyes, and yelled, “oh shit!” Too loud to just get Lupe’s attention, she brought along the rest of the bar, Greta was sure.
When Carson spun around to see what caused the commotion, their eyes met, and Carson’s eyes grew big. Secure in the knowledge that Carson knew she knew, Greta turned away and started to stomp out.
“Greta-Greta-Greta, wait,” Carson’s pleas were getting closer, so Greta sped up.
Carson reached out to grab Greta’s arm, and on instinct Greta pulled it away. She wasn’t doing this. Not here. Not now. Not with her, the one who was supposed to be different.
She figured Carson would go back to her husband. Expected it really. But what she didn’t expect was for Carson to find another woman. To replace her when they had only just begun.
“Please, baby. Just stop.”
“Don’t baby me,” Greta hissed as she spun towards Carson. The tears in the catcher’s eyes, made her lose a little of her bite, but not enough to stop herself from saying, “I’m going home. Don’t bother following me.”
Greta turned back around, intent on taking the last few steps towards the door. She didn’t see Carson lunge for her, didn’t know it was happening, until it was too late, and Carson had her arms firmly wrapped around her, leading her past her safe exit.
“Carson, let go of me.”
“No!” Without saying anything else, Carson opened the second door they came to, and guided them in, fumbling by the door for a light.
Once she could see again, Greta looked around. A storage room? Really Carson? Just fucking great. I guess it can end in the kind of place it began.
Carson hadn’t let go of her; probably afraid she would run. To be fair that is what Greta planned, as soon as she could break free without physically hurting Carson. In the meantime, she asked, “What do you want, Carson? Why don’t you go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone.”
Of all the reactions Greta expected, hearing Carson laugh was not one of them. The fucking audacity. This time, Greta pulled with all of her might, trying to break the hold Carson had on her. The physical one, if not the mental one too.
“Greta, stop. I’m not letting you go,” Carson whispered in her ear, squeezing them together even closer.
Those were the words she had been waiting to hear from Carson for weeks. She had to say them now? When Greta’s fight or flight had been activated? When she was too angry to swoon? When her heart was breaking in real time?
Realizing Carson meant what she said, and that Greta would have to do some serious damage to break free, she quit struggling. Her fight was all but gone and feigned indifference, her security blanket, was hoping to settle in.
“What do you want from me, Carson?” She hated how desperate she sounded.
“I just need five minutes to explain.”
Explain what? That now she had opened Carson up to other possibilities, she wanted more. That Greta wasn’t enough? She had heard that plenty.
Instead of voicing these insecurities, she simply said, “you have three.”
Carson let out a long exhale, like she hadn’t been breathing. It wouldn’t be the first time, Greta noted, just before Carson said, “It’s not what it looked like.”
This time it was Greta who laughed, though it came out more as a scoff. “I’m not stupid, Carson. I know what I saw.”
“You saw me dancing, right?”
Really?
Who did Carson think she was? Of course she saw her dancing, she wasn’t blind, just like she wasn’t dumb. Instead of answering that insulting question, Greta just said, “two minutes.”
“Greta, please. It was just a dance.”
Just a dance? The fuck? She tried, she really tried to keep her cool, but there Carson was, playing off what had happened. What Greta had seen happen. Who knows what would have come next, if Greta hadn’t interrupted them. Probably Carson. She had to get out of here.
“You know what, Shaw, dance with whomever you want. I’m going home. Please let go of me.”
“Umm, what if I want to dance with you.”
“Really, Carson? It sure didn’t look like it.”
“Yes, baby, you.”
“I said don’t call me that, Shaw.”
Said beautiful woman finally let go of Greta with a sigh. Greta felt the absence immediately, even through her anger. Her hand was on the doorknob when Carson spoke again.
“Everyone said…said she was…she was the best dancer.”
Greta spun around so fast it took her a second to stop the dizziness. “And you needed to test that for yourself?”
“No…No I wanted her to…” Whatever words she said after that, Greta didn’t understand, even watching Carson’s mouth move.
“Wanted her to what, Carson?”
“Teach me to dance, okay?” Carson said, lowering her head.
“Wait-what?” Greta took a step towards Carson. A step further away from her safe exit. When Carson didn’t answer her, she asked again. “What are you talking about, Carson?” Another step.
Carson looked up, met Greta’s eyes, then looked away before she said, “I wanted to be as good…as good…as good of a dancer as you…as you are, baby.”
This time Greta didn’t correct her. She also didn’t take a step, in either direction. She let Carson’s words marinate. For a moment, then two.
“Carson-” She waited until Carson looked back at her before she asked, “Are you saying you asked her to teach you to dance…for me?”
This time, Carson did not look away as she very simply said, “yes.”
In that moment, Greta’s fight was gone. Flight didn’t seem to be an option either. Greta closed the remaining few steps between them, in one. She grabbed Carson by the back of her head and pulled her close. Mashing their faces together.
Once their lips met, Greta’s tongue begged for entrance, which Carson quickly granted. They kissed with reckless abandon. Passion had never been a problem for them. Communication had though, and with strength Greta didn’t know she had, she pushed back from Carson, leaving them both panting for more.
“Greta…”
She put one finger on her lover’s lips. “Nobody gets to touch you, Carson. Nobody but me. I thought you knew that. I thought we were on the same page.”
“We are,” Carson mumbled against Greta’s finger. Though Greta wished the vibrations she felt were much lower, she wanted Carson to understand. She needed to know why Greta reacted the way she did. And why she now had an uncontrollable need to claim her.
Greta moved her finger back from Carson’s mouth and said, “we aren’t though, Carson. You see, we don’t need anyone else to teach you anything. Teaching you is my job, right?”
“Yes,” Carson breathed out.
“And you said you are a quick learner because you have a great teacher, right?”
“Yes, baby,” Carson answered with a throaty whisper. Oozing sex appeal and promises of good things to come.
“Then why did you ask someone else to teach you? Why did you let someone else touch what’s mine, baby?” Two could play that game, a sexy voice-off of sorts. She was afraid Carson would win, actually Greta knew she would, so she hurried to say “You know what I think? I think you wanted me to be jealous. To claim you in front of everyone. To let everyone know you belong to me. Because you do, Carson, and I am afraid you have forgotten that.”
“I haven’t-” Carson started to say, before once again Greta’s lips found their target, effectively shushing her woman without a word.
She broke their kiss to say, “you want to touch other people; therefore you can’t touch me.”
“Baby-”
“No, Carson. You are going to keep your hands to yourself. If you don’t, I will stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Fucking you.”
Greta delighted in Carson’s sharp intake of breath, and subsequent whimper. When Carson met Greta’s gaze with hooded eyes, Greta leapt at her, pushing the shorter woman against the closest wall.
Carson reached out and grabbed her, one hand on her upper back, one hand on Greta’s ass. Greta immediately took a step back, and husked, “what did I say?”
“I have to touch…have to touch you, Greta.” Carson whined at the lack of contact.
“No, you don’t.” Greta stepped forward and grabbed each of Carson’s arms with her own and pinned them above their heads.
When Carson whimpered again, Greta felt the surge rip through her body and between her legs. Before she said fuck this, and dropped both of them to the floor, Greta needed to take control. To remind Carson of who was in control. So, she ordered, “take your panties off.”
Carson did as she asked with no hesitation, and Greta wasted no more time either. She grabbed both of Carson’s wrists with one hand, securing them to the wall, and reached down with the other.
In one fluid movement, Greta was up Carson’s skirt and at her entrance, feeling the warm, wet, heat calling out to her. Begging to be felt. Tasted. Worshiped.
Greta looked her beautiful woman in the eyes, and when Carson gave the slightest hint of a nod, Greta entered her with ease. One finger at first, and then two. The wetness pooled there being all the lubricant Greta needed. With each thrust, she curled her fingers against the spot that would bring Carson the most pleasure, loving what the motion did to her lover and herself.
It wasn’t long before Carson’s legs were spread as wide as they could be, and Greta lifted her enough that Carson could wrap her legs around Greta’s middle. Her legs weren't as long as Greta’s, but they worked just fine for what Greta intended.
“Good girl,” Greta whispered.
Her lover gasped and then she was riding Greta’s fingers with gusto, their bodies in perfect rhythm. Carson lifting when Greta thrust in and settling on her fingers when Greta pulled slightly out.
“God, I love fucking you,” Greta moaned. “Come for me, baby.”
Carson came hard and fast, and her sudden need to grab onto Greta’s shoulders almost knocked them both over. An injury Greta gladly would have accepted. A weak-kneed Carson lowered her wobbly legs and tried to catch her breath.
Greta slid her fingers out, and when she was sure Carson was watching, she gently put them in her own mouth, sucking on the very essence of Carson, who watched her with wide eyes. “Delicious,” Greta murmured around her fingers.
Carson finally found her words, and she panted, “that…that…was…damn.”
“Yeah?” Greta asked softly, resting her forehead against Carson’s.
She loved, but also hated the fact that with Carson, no rules applied. That this woman knocked her for a loop, and Greta wasn’t sure she would ever settle again. That Carson had broken through the very high walls she had built around her body, and the extra layers around her heart. That Carson now had more control over Greta’s body than she ever did.
To that end, when Carson nodded in response, Greta could feel the anxiousness leave her. The brick on her chest finally losing some of its weight. They just might be okay.
When Carson finally spoke again, she said the words Greta had been waiting on, and her heart lurched. “I’m sorry, love. I’m sorry that I…that I let another woman get close to me. Just know I never meant it like that. I never meant to hurt you. I only want to bring you pleasure, always.”
Seemingly to prove her point Carson tried to spin them around, where Greta would be the one against the wall. If Greta had anything to say about it, there would be plenty of time for that. But not tonight. They had been in the closet long enough, literally and figuratively. She could take care of one of those now. The world wasn’t ready for anything more than that. Besides, she wasn’t finished letting everyone know who Carson belonged to.
“Not so fast,” Greta said as she allowed her body to go deadweight against the smaller catcher. “I think it’s time you showed me what you learned tonight. Let’s go dance.”
“But…baby…but I want-”
“I know what you want. But we have been in here quite a while, and I think our friends will wonder where we are. We have plenty of time for everything else. Besides, I need a drink and a smoke after all that.”
She giggled when Carson did and held her hand out. She was filled with nothing but joy when Carson fit her smaller fingers in between Greta’s, like they were meant for this. Made for each other.
Together, they left the confines of the storage room, and headed out to their friends. She was sure either Jess or Lupe started the catcalls, but they weren't the only ones, and Greta laughed from her belly when Carson turned a predictable shade of red.
To her surprise, Greta did not see that particular color, when Carson’s "dance teacher" met her eyes and nodded. She now understood Carson’s intentions, but still doubted that woman’s. Of course, she would want Carson, who wouldn’t? But for now, she was Greta’s. And that might be enough.
Carson must have been reading her mind again, because she said, “you are the only one for me, Greta Gill, don’t ever doubt that.”
The irony of the married woman claiming allegiance to only Greta was not lost on her, but that was a problem for a different day. Today she could just say with reverence, “I love you, Carson Shaw.”
And when Carson said it back, Greta was sure she had never heard words quite as beautiful, and the little green-eyed monster was put away, at least for the night.