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Tobio is late to practice.
He is never late to practice. Never. In fact, more often than not, he’s early. Kageyama Tobio has never had an issue with waking up early; he prefers it, actually. It’s peaceful when half the world is asleep and time seems to stand still. He’s always liked the greys and blues of morning instead of the orange and reds of the afternoon.
Getting to practice early also means beating Hinata, of course, which is always something Tobio enjoys.
It’s winter— and nearly Christmas. His eighteenth birthday was yesterday, a simple day of school, volleyball practice, and a decent attempt from his parents at a celebration. The Kageyama family was not known for their emotion and empathy. Tobio’s parents spent more time out of the house traveling than inside, and his sister lived in Tokyo with a husband and a baby on the way. He didn’t even speak with her that often about his feelings, which probably explained why Tobio had such a difficult time expressing his own thoughts.
Such as the fact that he has a deep and intense admiration for Hinata Shouyou, his best friend and partner, and they only have three months left together. He’s always wished he'd say something, but it’s almost as if the words are stuck to the roof of his mouth.
It’s a sad thing to think about, so he’s tried not to. Tobio will be moving to Tokyo right after graduation to get a kickstart on his acceptance for the Schweiden Adlers. He’s terrified, but that’s still months out, so best not to think about that either.
So yes. Tobio is late.
He shoves the doors open to the gym and catches his breath as everyone on the Karasuno volleyball team stares at him. Hinata has a smirk on his face (that bastard) and Yamaguchi seems concerned. He hands the volleyball he was holding to Tsukishima (also a bastard) and walks up to Tobio.
“Hey, man. Is everything okay?”
“S-Sorry,” he spits out, “my alarm didn’t go off. I ran here.”
“All the way here?”
“I thought I could—” Tobio takes another deep breath; his lungs are on fire. “—get here on time. Sorry again.”
“It happens. Go get some water and change, okay?”
“Sure.”
“That’s another win for me!” Hinata shouts as Tobio swings his bag back over his shoulder and makes his way to the club room. He flips the redhead off.
No one else really mentions anything about Tobio’s lateness for the rest of practice, which is more than okay with Tobio. The day is practically like any other day, filled with long, boring classes (that he struggles to stay awake in) and a pang in his heart in his earnest impatience to get to the second volleyball practice of the day.
He makes his way to the lunchroom to eat with Hinata when someone stops him.
“Kageyama-kun.” A girl with a wavering voice and long hair stands in front of him, blocking the door. Tobio glances down at his watch. If he’s late and Hinata beats him, he’ll never hear the end of it. Stupid tangerine.
“Oh. Uhm, hi, uh...”
“Itome,” she reminds him.
“Right. Of course. Itome-kun.” He thinks they have math together. No, they must have math together, because she stopped him in the math classroom. Idiot. “Sorry, I’m kind of in a rush...”
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a second. Could we walk to the lunchroom together?”
“Uhm, yeah. Okay.” Itome steps out of the way so Tobio’s gangly frame can sneak past and the two join the hundreds of other students heading the same way. She’s shy; he can tell that much.
“I just... I really like you, and with the end of the year approaching, I was hoping that maybe we could go on a date. Y’know... go out, maybe?”
Tobio blinks. Is this really happening right now? It isn’t the first time someone has confessed to him, but it’s the first time the girl hasn’t even looked at him. “Oh, uhm, Itome-kun, I’m s-sorry, but I—”
She still won’t look at him, but now she’s shaking and he feels bad. Tobio glances upward and sees Hinata staring at him from down the hallway. He has a loopy smile on his face as he tilts his head. Tobio narrows his eyes.
“I just think... with school coming to an end, it’s probably best if we don’t... start something so close to graduation. It’s just that I’m moving to Tokyo after school and I’m so sorry—”
“Oh, it’s okay.” She forces a smile even though there are tears in her eyes. “I’ve heard it’s very hard to get close to you, but I thought I’d try.”
He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re on the volleyball team, aren’t you? And there’s a rumor that you and Hinata-kun are messing around—”
“Excuse me?!”
She holds her hands up and mutters apologies. “Sorry, sorry! I don’t think that, but I wasn’t sure if you knew...”
Tobio tsches and steps away. “I’m sorry, Itome, but I’m trying to focus on my future. It has nothing to do with you or Hinata or any of the other girls who have asked me out. It isn’t because of that. I just have other things to focus on right now.”
“Of course.” Itome excuses herself and disappears into the crowd with tears spilling down her face. Tobio sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“Breaking more hearts I see,” Hinata says with a giggle as he slides into the space next to Tobio.
“No. I don’t know why all these girls are thinking now is the best time to come ask me out when we graduate in three months!”
“Not everyone knows what they are going to do three months from now. You’re lucky.” Hinata softly punches Tobio’s shoulder and laughs again. “I’m just saying.”
“Whatever. I feel bad every time, y’know.”
“I know.” The two take are sitting near the back of the lunchroom. Hinata’s lunch is looking a little lackluster, so Tobio offers part of his stir fry. He sips at his juice box and sighs again. Two more sighs and he might break a world record.
“She also said there’s a rumor going around that you and I are together.”
Hinata bursts into laughter. Tobio’s frown deepens. “That’s not funny, Shouyou!”
“It is funny! We’re literally just two dudes on a volleyball team! What have we ever done to make people think that?”
“I don’t know. It’s dumb.” Tobio bites into his food and his chopsticks hit a tooth weirdly. He gasps in pain and drops them.
“Tobio? Are you okay?”
“Fuck,” he whines, “I hit my tooth.”
“Let me see.” Hinata tugs on Tobio’s arm and leans up so he can see inside. He frowns. “It doesn’t look bad. Does it hurt?”
“Yes, it hurts!”
“Go to the nurse, then!”
“She’s a nurse, not a dentist! Gah!” Tobio reaches for a napkin and holds it against his gums. He’s bleeding. “Maybe it will stop bleeding.”
“If it doesn’t, then I win again.”
“You can’t count mundane things as a win, Shouyou!” He’s irritated all of a sudden. “Me hurting my tooth doesn’t count as a loss!”
“But if you can’t play volleyball—”
“I can play volleyball, dammit!”
Hinata laughs. “Okay, okay! You can play volleyball! I take it back!”
Tobio scowls. “You’re being annoying.”
“You must love when I’m annoying since you’re always hanging around me. Maybe I’ll spread a different rumor about the two of us—”
His hand shoots out and grabs Hinata’s collar. “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m kidding!”
“Tsch.”
Their second volleyball practice goes well. Tobio’s mouth is fine by the end of the school day and he’s at the top of his game. He does accidentally yell at a couple of first years for missing his sets, but Hinata elbows him and he apologizes. Sometimes that happens. It’s traumatizing for him every time, but he tries to use it as a learning experience. Becoming a better person is something he longs for.
They finish up for the night and head out. Hinata asks if Tobio wants to get food at the konbini.
“Sure,” he agrees, shoving his hands in his pockets. Hinata adjusts his scarf and beanie before going to unchain his bike from the rack. “You remembered your gloves today.”
“Oh, yeah.” Hinata stands up and turns around. He flashes a smile. “I wrote myself a note after you harassed me.”
“I did not harass you.”
“Sure, your highness.” Distracted, Hinata slips on a patch of black ice and nearly tumbles into the bike rack. Tobio grabs him by the arm, saving him, as his bike rattles on the ground. Hinata is practically chest to chest with Tobio right now and both their faces are bright red. Hopefully, they can blame it on the cold.
He wants to say something nice. Something like, “don’t hurt yourself,” or perhaps, “look out next time." Instead, something entirely different comes out.
“Be careful, dumbass.”
Shit. That’s not what he wanted to say.
“R-Right,” Hinata stutters out as he detangles himself from Tobio and picks up his bike.
They make the half-mile walk to town in mostly silence. Perhaps it’s because the cold takes their breath away, or maybe it’s because of the awkward scene that occurred minutes before. Despite this, it is weird to see Hinata so quiet. Maybe he’s also lost in reflection.
Being away from Hinata will be weird. Tobio isn’t sure how hard it’ll be, but it sure will be weird. Everywhere he’s turned for the past three years, Hinata has been there, like a gnat buzzing in his ear. What happens when Tobio finally has peace and quiet?
He thought it might be a good one, once upon a time. Now he’s not too sure.
Time is moving too fast. He wishes it would slow down sometimes.
Meat buns in hand, the two make their way to a nearby park. It’s dark outside and abandoned, everything covered in a light layer of snow. Tobio wipes it off a nearby swing and sits down, his eyes immediately darting up to the sky. It’s hard to see the stars with snow falling down into his eyes, but he knows they are there. Somewhere.
“Mm… what’s wrong, Yama?”
He glances over at his friend, who has managed to nearly tangle himself in the swing. Tobio rolls his eyes and looks forward once more. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking.”
“You’re not wiggin’, are you?”
“Of course not, dumbass!” He can feel the heat of his meat bun through his gloves and the package it came in. Hinata has already scarfed his down and is now kicking himself into the air. Snow swirls around them. “I’m just thinking about graduation. That’s all.”
“I dunno. Sounds like you’re wiggin’ to me.” Hinata stops himself with a toe to the ground. “What are you scared of?”
“I’m not—” He stops himself. Maybe he is scared. That’s a perfectly normal reaction to have, after all. For the last eighteen years, all he’s known is school, school, school. What will life be like when he’s not occupied with classes or homework or exams?
“I am scared,” Tobio says instead. Hinata blinks at him and licks his lips.
“Of what?”
“Of being… on my own.”
“But you get to play volleyball.”
“Which is great, but there’s going to be more for me to deal with, you know? There are like, full-fledged adults on that team. Guys with families and kids. And then there’s me. What if they don’t take me seriously? What if I’m benched for the whole season? I don’t want to look like an idiot up there.” He sighs. “And then I have to find an apartment, and make new friends, figure out new routines, new ways to get to work, new everything!”
“And why are you scared of that?”
“Because!” He throws his hands up in the air and his meat bun nearly flies out of its package. Hinata raises an eyebrow, ready to counter with some stupid sarcastic comment, but stops when he sees how troubled Tobio really is. “I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want to listen to me complain about this. I know it’s a great opportunity and I’m lucky to have it, but I’m still scared. I don’t… want things to change.”
“Not at all?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“But Yama, you get to play with the big leagues! The professionals! Aren’t you excited about that at all? If you didn’t have any change, you wouldn’t get to do that.”
“I know, but…” I’ll miss you. It’s what he really wants to say, but the words won’t leave his mouth. “I’m still worried.”
“That’s okay. You deserve to be a little nervous, I think. After all, it’s your talent that got you this far, right?” Hinata smiles. “You deserve it, Tobio. I mean that.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
“I know I tease you a lot, but I am really glad I got to be on the same team as you, and I’m glad we were partners.”
“Things could have been a lot different if I had made it to Shiratorizawa.”
“You might be mad at me but I’m glad you didn’t.” A shrug. Tobio blinks. There are tiny snowflakes dotting Hinata’s face like a brand new set of freckles. He looks cute, almost. Emphasis on almost. “I got a best friend out of it.”
“Eh, you make friends easily. I’m sure literally anyone else could have been your best friend.”
“Maybe, but I’m glad it was you. Nobody could make me feel the way you do on the court. I know that for sure. Besides, then Suga would have been the team’s setter that year, and what would have happened after he left? We had no other setters on the team.”
“You could have been a setter.”
“No way. I want to spike as much as I can.” He’s still smiling. The tip of his nose is red, like a strawberry. “But yeah. I guess we wouldn’t have been friends if I swore to defeat you and then we went to different schools.”
“You still swore to defeat me.”
“Yeah, but it’s different. You get that, don’t you?” Tobio nods. He does understand. “Besides, you inspired me to get better. Stronger. I don’t know if that would have been the same if you hadn’t come to Karasuno.”
“Did you really pick this school because of one match you saw on TV?”
“I did. But I’m glad I came for different reasons, too.” He gestures to Tobio’s half-eaten meat bun. “Are you going to finish that?”
With a chuckle, Tobio hands it over and watches his redheaded friend scarf it down. Once Hinata swallows, they are quiet for a minute or two longer. Tobio doesn’t know what to say. It isn’t like this is the last time he’ll see Hinata, but for some reason, he’s getting all choked up about it.
“Thank you,” he decides on. Hinata tilts his head.
“For what?”
“For being my friend. Dealing with me. Helping me become a better person.”
“It wasn’t like I was going to let you harass me. I had to take charge somehow.”
“Whatever. I’ve never harassed you.”
“Let’s see how well that holds up in court, Loser-Yama!”
“You’ll come visit me in Tokyo?”
“Course. I have to work as much as I can to save money for Brazil, but I’ll find a weekend or two. You’ll have to show me your sick place. Oh, and the gym. I want to spike a ball in a professional gymnasium! Do you think it smells like air salonpas?”
“I bet it will.”
They stare at each other. It would be really easy to kiss him right now if Tobio was into that sort of thing. He’s all red and small with his coat and hat on. He’d probably taste nice, too. Hinata always smelled good. That probably translated to taste, right? And he probably feels warm, too. It’d be nice to sleep with him in his bed. Cozy.
Hinata is still staring at him. Tobio shakes his head and looks away. He’s not brave enough to make a move when he’s not even sure how he feels. He hasn’t had time to think about relationships when every thought is on volleyball.
So instead, he kicks up his feet and says, “whoever swings higher has to buy breakfast tomorrow.”
“Oh, you’re on.”
The house is dark when Tobio gets home. It isn’t that late— only a little past seven— but the winter evening makes it feel like it’s midnight. With a sigh, Tobio unlocks the front door and steps inside. He takes off his shoes, hangs up his jacket, and pads into the kitchen to heat up leftovers. It’s nights like these when he wished his parents spent more time at home. Either that or Miwa was still around.
No. He wished his grandpa was still alive. He missed the evenings with his grandfather when they watched movies and ate ice cream after long hours playing volleyball in the backyard.
With a sigh, (now he's definitely broken a world record) Tobio finishes up with dinner and heads to his room. He has some homework to take care of and wants to get an entry into his volleyball journal before he goes to bed. Tomorrow is another long day, and he doesn’t want to wake up late again.
Unfortunately, his thoughts are consumed by Hinata, and it’s hard to think straight. He tosses back and forth in bed, growing frustrated, feeling like he’ll never fall asleep. He doesn’t like Hinata like that. He isn’t some silly little schoolgirl walking up to confess to a boy they know won’t like them back. Why even waste time on something that will end in heartbreak, anyway? He doesn’t understand it. Tobio doesn’t know a ton about Hinata’s dating life, but he knows the guy likes small, petite girls with long hair and bright personalities. He likes girls that can talk his ear off, make him smile, and will support him by coming to his games. Tobio is nothing like any of those girls.
Not that it matters. He doesn’t want to date Hinata anyway.
He needs to think of what his type is. Even Yamaguchi and Tsukishima know who they like! Is he going to be alone forever if he can’t figure that out?
“So annoying,” he mutters under his breath before rolling over and shoving his head under his pillow.
Tobio is late to practice.
He can’t believe this is happening again. What the hell? He swears up and down that he even checked to make sure his alarm was correct and was loud enough for him to hear it. Tobio is never late and here he is showing up late two days in a row! What is going on with him?
Panting, Tobio pushes into the gym and everyone stops what they are doing to stare at him. Hinata is smirking in a way that gives him a strange sense of deja vu.
Yamaguchi approaches him with a concerned look on his face. “Hey, man. Is everything okay?”
“S-Sorry,” he spits out, “my alarm didn’t go off again. I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I swore I fixed it yesterday. That’s two days in a freaking row!”
“You weren’t late yesterday.”
Tobio frowns. His lungs are on fire. “Sure I was. The same thing happened. My alarm didn’t go off and I ran here and—” Everyone is looking at him like he’s crazy. He shakes his head and backtracks. “Sorry. I’m just dehydrated I guess. I ran all the way here.”
“It happens. Go get some water and change, okay?”
Tobio swears that’s exactly what Yamaguchi said the day before. With a frown, Tobio nods. “Sure.”
“That’s another win for me!” Hinata shouts as Tobio swings his bag back over his shoulder and makes his way to the club room. He flips the redhead off.
All of this feels way too familiar.
He thinks that maybe, he really is sick or exhausted or even dehydrated because the rest of the day practically feels normal. He sits through his boring classes, struggling to stay awake, until lunch arrives and he needs to make his way to the lunchroom. Tobio plucks his bento box out of his bag and stands up to face Itome-kun.
“Kageyama-kun.”
He frowns. Didn’t he make this girl run away crying yesterday? Why is she back? “Oh. Hi, Itome.”
She smiles wide as some of her shiny black hair slides out of her face. “You know my name?”
“Uhm… yes?” Should he bring up the fact that they talked yesterday? Tobio is confused.
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a second. Could we walk to the lunchroom together?”
Just go along with it. You’re going insane. Everything is fine.
“Sure. Why not.” Tobio grabs his lunch and slides out the door. He scans the crowd of students in a desperate attempt to figure out what is going on with him. Is this the matrix? Some kind of simulation? Is he losing his mind?
Maybe he’s dreaming. That could be it. He pinches himself as hard as he can while Itome talks.
“I just... I really like you, and with the end of the year approaching, I was hoping that maybe we could go on a date. Y’know... go out, maybe?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, like…a date? Sorry, was I not clear enough?”
“Didn’t you ask me this yesterday?” Is she the crazy one? “The answer is still the same, Itome. I have to move to Tokyo for volleyball and I don’t want to start a relationship. I’m sorry, but the answer is no.”
Her frown is huge. “Are you making fun of me?”
“No! Of course not! It’s just that you asked me all of this yesterday—”
“Oh, are you getting so many confessions that you can’t keep them all straight?”
“That isn’t what I said.”
“I’ve heard it’s very hard to get close to you, but now I see why. You’re arrogant.”
He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re on the volleyball team, aren’t you?”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything—”
“And you were called the King in middle school. Now I see why. Have fun with your stupid boyfriend. God forbid any more girls get their hearts stomped on by you, jerk.”
Tobio watches, still confused as all be, as Itome stomps through the crowd the other way. He has no idea what just happened.
“Breaking more hearts I see,” Hinata says with a giggle as he slides into the space next to Tobio at the lunch table. He shakes his head.
“That was weird, Shouyou.”
“What?”
“She confessed to me again. Itome-kun came up to me at the same time yesterday to ask me out and got mad when I told her the answer hadn’t changed. I’m not going to date someone when we graduate in three months."
“Not everyone knows what they are going to do three months from now. You’re lucky.” Hinata softly punches Tobio’s shoulder and laughs again. “I’m just saying.”
“No, see?” Tobio sits up straight. “You said the same thing yesterday!”
Hinata raises an eyebrow. “Did we have this conversation yesterday?”
“We did! Because she said there was a rumor about the two of us—”
Hinata bursts into laughter. Tobio’s frown deepens. There is a lump in his throat. Okay, now he knows he’s not crazy. All of this happened yesterday. “That’s not funny, Shouyou!”
“It is funny! We’re literally just two dudes on a volleyball team! What have we ever done to make people think that?”
Hinata’s lunch is exactly the same as yesterday; a little bit of rice and chicken breast. Tobio pushes his own bento over without thinking about it so Hinata can eat more. He has stirfry again. Did he really pack the same thing as yesterday?
“I brought up the rumor and you said exactly that and you brought the same thing to eat so I offered you my lunch—”
“So you’re also doing the same things you did yesterday.”
“No, that’s not— I’m not crazy!”
Hinata raises his hands up. “I didn’t say you were! What happens next?”
He furrows his eyebrows and tries to remember what does come next. He raises his chopsticks to his mouth to take a bite and—
“Ow!”
Right. That’s what happens next.
“Tobio! Are you okay?”
“I hit my tooth.”
“Let me see.” Hinata tugs on Tobio’s arm and leans over. Tobio shoves him away.
“No, because then you’re going to tell me to go to the nurse, which makes no sense, and then I check to see if I’m bleeding—”
“You are bleeding,” interrupts Hinata. Tobio scowls.
“Then you say something about a stupid win which makes no sense.”
“It does if it stops you from playing volleyball!”
“Exactly! That’s exactly what you say!” He shoves his face into his hands. “I’m going insane.”
“Maybe you just know me so well because we’re best friends. I know all kinds of things about you. Like how you adore animals but they all hate you, and you thought girls also peed standing up until you were like, twelve years old—”
“Shut up, Shouyou! You’re being annoying.”
“You must love when I’m annoying since you’re always hanging around me. Maybe I’ll spread a different rumor about the two of us—”
His hand shoots out and grabs Hinata’s collar. “Shut up right now.”
“I’m kidding! Don’t kill me!” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Unless you killed me yesterday and this is bound to repeat itself! Please don’t kill me, Kageyama-san! I’m too young to die!”
With another scoff, Tobio lets go and slams his head into the table.
The first years are missing his sets again. He opens his mouth to yell and then remembers he did this yesterday too. Is the day truly repeating itself? That can’t be true, can it? There’s no way that is possible.
Then he remembers that Hinata asked if he wanted to get food yesterday, and decides that maybe he’s too exhausted to do that. If he goes home and gets to bed early, everything will be fine, right?
“Yama! Food?”
“Sorry Shou, but I feel too much like crap to go out. I think I’m gonna go home.”
Hinata frowns. “Oh, come on Tobi. Don’t be like that. You’re just wiggin’.”
“I’m not wigging! I know all of this happened yesterday, okay?” He sighs. “If I go home and go straight to bed, then I’ll be okay.”
“Oh. Okay, then.” He’s biting his bottom lip. Tobio watches him fiddle with his hands. At least he didn’t forget his gloves this time. “I was just thinking we could get meat buns.”
“You mean get me to buy you meat buns? You can never afford it.”
His face softens. “That wasn’t very nice, Kageyama.”
“Well it’s true, isn’t it? Every time we go into town, I’m the one that pays because you’re too poor.”
“I’ll buy, then.”
“I don’t want to get dinner with you tonight, okay? Sorry. Save your money for Brazil. God knows you’ll need every penny.”
“You can be really mean sometimes, you know that? I think you’ve changed and then…” Hinata trails off. Shakes his head. Frowns. “Whatever. See you tomorrow.”
“Look out for ice.”
The second it leaves Tobio’s mouth, Hinata slips, his hand shooting out to grab the bike rack. He stops himself from plummeting to the ground in time to get severely injured. One look later, Tobio is gone.
Tobio is late to practice. He sits up, staring at the numbers on his alarm— 07:10. Exactly the numbers that have glowed in that stupid red font, mocking him, for the past two days. Now he knows for certain he isn’t going crazy. The days are repeating.
He steps out of bed and peaks his head out the door. The same car drives past. The same mother and daughter walk down the sidewalk. He hears the door slam as his parents leave for the week. They’ll be back before Christmas— at least that’s what he was told. He’s not so sure now.
Tobio slings his backpack over his shoulders after dressing in his school uniform. He takes his time walking to the gym, even grabbing food from the convenience store on his way there. By the time he steps inside the third gym, practice is nearly over, and everyone is staring at him.
Yamaguchi beckons everyone to continue and pulls Tobio to the side. He looks concerned, just as he had the two days before. “Hey, man. Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” says Tobio as he continues stuffing his face, “This is the third day in a row it’s been December 23 and I think I’m going insane.”
Yamaguchi frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“The days are repeating.” He gestures vaguely around him. “I’ve seen the same cars, the same people, the same movements. Watch, Hinata is about to miss that receive.”
Sure enough, when the ball flies over, Hinata misses it. It bounces off his wrist and rolls away. Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck.
“Are you depressed?”
“What?”
“Do you need help? Y’know… mentally?”
“No, I—” He stops. “You don’t believe me.” He laughs. “I’m an idiot. Of course no one would believe me.”
“Because if you feel like the days are repeating, then maybe… maybe some help would be good?”
“No, Tadashi, the days are literally repeating.” With a sigh, Tobio balls his trash up in his hands and tosses it up into the air. It hits the ground with a soft bounce, drawing away Yamaguchi’s attention for just a moment. “Sorry I missed practice. It won’t happen again.”
Except it will. Many times.
Hinata stops him on his way out. He knows Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are whispering to each other about Tobio’s “delicate mental state.” He’s sure he’ll hear from Yachi too, but what the hell? He’ll be surprised if he wakes up tomorrow and it’s the start of a new day.
“Hey, everything okay? You’ve never missed a practice before.”
“Hmm. I thought you’d rub it in that you got here earlier than me.” That’s normally what he does, anyway. This is new.
“Well… I would have if you had gotten there earlier, but you showed up right at the end eating breakfast, which means you stopped at the store on your way here, which the Kageyama I know would never do—”
“Whatever, dude, I’d do it and I did.” He shrugs. “Tomorrow will be better. I’m taking a mental health day.”
“A mental health day?”
“A mental health day.”
Tobio passes his math quiz with flying colors. His teacher is genuinely impressed, offering him a big smile and a thumbs up. He shuts Itome down before she can even get a word in, sending her stomping away. Hinata tries to bring up the missed practice again, but Tobio ignores him. He doesn’t feel like eating either and has completely pushed his lunch over for Hinata to eat. Maybe starving himself will make things change. He’s not so sure how willing he is to test the theory of death yet.
A boy throws a balled-up napkin at his friend. A girl trips over her own feet and drops her lunch on the floor. Tobio is so lost in thought he doesn’t even notice Hinata pounding on his arm.
“Tobio!”
“Huh?” He blinks and turns around. “What?”
“What is going on with you? I’m actually worried.”
“I told you, I’m taking a—”
“Mental health day, I get it, but what does that mean? And why are you acting so weird?”
“Because this is the third day in a row I’ve experienced all the same events.” He thinks of his toothache. If he goes to take a bit of his food right now, will he make himself bleed?
He needs to write down everything that happens so he knows for sure that he isn’t crazy. Tobio pulls out his notebook and starts to scribble.
“What are you doing now?”
“Taking notes. I need to make sure I remember everything that happens.” He has literature after lunch, but he knows what reading he was assigned so the quiz will be easy. Then they have practice— he can recall what moves they need to work on— and then he and Hinata went out to eat. Maybe they should do that today. Better than how he treated Hinata yesterday.
“What do you need to remember?”
“What happens today. Because it’s happened three times now.”
Hinata is frowning. “Wait, you were being serious when you said the days were repeating?”
“Yeah, of course I was. Why would I joke about that?” Oh, that girl leans over to whisper something… and the guy walks off. Okay, he can use that. Maybe if he gathers enough evidence he can actually convince Hinata.
“Because what you’re saying is kind of, well, crazy.” He raises an eyebrow. Tobio laughs.
“Trust me, I know that. That’s why I’m taking notes.”
“Okay,” says Hinata, “say you’re right and you are reliving the same day for the third time. How would you know it’s more than just… deja vu?”
“Because there’s no way in hell I would miss my alarm three days in a row.”
“And that’s your only proof?”
“Of course not. As I told Tadashi— same people, same cars, same events. Look, I’ll prove it to you.” Tobio reaches forward for his chopsticks and shoves a big bite of stirfry into his mouth. Sure enough, he hits his tooth, causing his gums to bleed. Hinata’s frown grows even deeper.
“Tobio, maybe you should… see someone?”
“You want me to go to a therapist? Okay. Sure. I’ll add it to the list.” He reaches for a napkin to stop the bleeding. “The homework is the same. The quiz questions are the same. Itome from math class always comes up and tries to ask me out. She says there is a rumor you and I are together. You laugh, say something stupid about starting your own rumor, and I threaten to beat you up.”
“Yeah, but you know me, Yama. You know that kind of stuff about me.”
Tobio is growing more frustrated. He slams his notebook closed and stuffs it back into his bag, the napkin still dabbing over his bleeding gums. “I have to use the restroom. See you at practice.”
“Tobio, wait! If you’d just talk to me—”
He doesn’t hear the rest of Hinata’s pleas, already worming his way out of the lunchroom to spend some time on his own.
Say he does see a therapist. Will they believe him? He doubts it. Maybe he should check himself into a hospital. They probably wouldn’t believe him either. What the hell is he supposed to do other than figure this out on his own?
His teammates are still warily watching him when afternoon volleyball practice starts. Tobio chews on the end of his pen and looks between the first years carefully.
“Shoji, you play as setter today.”
“Huh?!” Four sets of overlapping voices echo throughout the gymnasium. Tobio looks around.
“What? We need practice. I want to hit.”
“But Kageyama-Senpai, I’ve never played as a setter—”
“So get up there and try it out. I want to hit a spike. And if you miss it, I’ll kick you off the team.”
“No he will not,” corrects Yamaguchi with a stern tone. “Kageyama, may I speak with you?”
With a shrug, Tobio shuffles over to where the other third years are gathered. Yachi gently touches Tobio’s wrist.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“The King must have a fever,” says Tsukishima with a smirk. “He’s acting like a weirdo.”
“Yama, if you’re sick, maybe you should go home and get some rest,” suggests Hinata. Yamaguchi glares.
“I don’t know what is going on with you, but I need you to stop it with the attitude. We’re a team, not a dysfunctional family.”
“That is exactly what we are,” says Tobio.
“Are you taking this seriously?”
“Of course I am! That’s why I want to hit! Shouldn’t we all try each other’s positions, get a feel for things come championships? We don’t have much time left, you know. They are in a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, so we should be focusing on our strengths.”
“We have far more weaknesses than strengths at the moment.”
“That isn’t true!”
“Fine, whatever. You’re the captain.” He shrugs. “Do what you want.” Really he’s just bored of playing the same game over and over again, having people miss his same hits, struggling not to yell at incompetent players. The third-years continue to stare at him.
Yamaguchi’s fists are closed. He really looks like he wants to say more, but something is stopping him. Instead, he takes a deep breath and relaxes.
“I value your input, Kageyama, really I do, but you’re behaving poorly, whether you realize it or not.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, because maybe he shouldn’t be taking out his concern and paranoia on his friends. “We’ll do things your way.”
“Thank you. You’re the team’s official setter, and I’d like to keep it that way. Besides, it isn’t like anyone else will be able to get as precise of sets as you.”
Oh. That was nice. Tobio nods. “Right.”
He keeps his mouth shut for the rest of practice, even though the underclassmen are still whispering about his outburst. Tobio ignores them. He has more on his mind right now. How can he get out of this mess? First, he needs to figure out what put him here in the first place, and what changes might tweak the nightmare he’s living. Tobio refuses to believe this is simply a delusion. He might not be the smartest kid out there, but he knows what is real and what isn’t.
“Yama-kun.” It’s Hinata. He rubs his gloved hands together as they venture into the dark winter afternoon. “Do you want to get dinner?”
No, he nearly says because he wants to go home and work on figuring this stupid nightmare out, but then he realizes that Hinata might be able to help him without even realizing it. Instead, he agrees, and Hinata cheers as he goes to unlock his bike. That’s when Tobio remembers the ice.
“Wait, Shouyou, the ice—” The redhead slips, falling directly into Tobio’s arms. They stare at each other for a moment before Tobio pushes him back up and shoves his hands into his pockets. Hinata looks down at the patch of black ice in front of the bike rack.
“How did you see that? I could have died, Jesus!”
“I just… remembered,” he says nonchalantly. Hinata tilts his head and plays along.
“Right, because of the time loop.”
“The time what?”
“Time loop.” Hinata finishes unlocking his bike and walks with it side-by-side. Tobio follows. “Y’know, like in movies? The main character gets stuck living the same day over and over again until they learn a lesson or get the girl or whatever.”
“Learn a lesson,” Tobio repeats. What lesson does he need to learn? He’s learned a lot of lessons without something supernatural occurring. What lesson is so special that it needs to trap him in hell?
“Or get the girl. Are you chasing some girl?”
“No. If I was, I wouldn’t turn down so many confessions.”
“You’re a—”
“Heartbreaker, I know.” He waves his hand. “What else?”
“Oh! Well… sometimes a time loop is used to help the main character understand their purpose or fate.”
“So romance, learning your lesson, or discovering purpose?” Tobio blinks. He doesn’t think he needs to do any of those, but it couldn’t hurt to try. “Hmm.”
“Any of those speak to you?”
“Do you think any of them should?”
Hinata shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, what’s going on in your life right now? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I mean, I’m just focused on graduation and moving to Tokyo really.”
“And you aren’t nervous? Or scared?”
“Well, both.” This is different. Last time Hinata was teasing him about being nervous. Maybe being outwardly unsteady is helpful for Tobio. “There’s going to be a lot of older, well-seasoned players for the Adlers. I guess… I guess I’m scared I won’t fit in.”
“You’re the best setter I know. You’ll be great. And being nervous is totally normal.” He smiles. “I know I tease you a lot, but I am really glad I got to be on the same team as you, and I’m glad we were partners.”
He’s said that before, hasn’t he? It was different from the first time when they were swinging in the park. He gave Hinata his meat bun.
Up ahead, the konbini’s bright lights shine in the distance. Tobio chews on the inside of his cheek.
“I’ll miss you,” he says. It’s what he wanted to say to begin with, and he doesn’t feel weird saying it this time. Hinata blinks.
“Really?”
“Well, uh, yeah. You’re my best friend.”
“Is that why you’ve been acting so weird today?” Hinata stops. His bike chain rattles with the wind. “You’re wiggin’ out about graduating?”
“I’m not w—” Tobio stops himself. Perhaps he should just go along with this. “Yeah. I guess I am wiggin’.”
“We still have three whole months, Tobio! And we have nationals! Nationals, for the third time in a row! Isn’t that exciting? We’re going to win and do so well and it’s going to be awesome, like boom and pow and wuah!”
“Yeah dumbass, of course we’ll win.” He clears his throat. “I guess I’m wiggin’ for nothing. I’ll be better tomorrow, I promise.”
“It’s okay though, if you get sad sometimes.” Hinata is blinking at him with those big, honey-brown eyes of his. The tip of his nose is red and his cheeks are covered in freckles. “It’s normal to get sad. I get sad sometimes too. But I want you to trust me, okay? Feel like you can talk to me about anything. In hindsight, we haven’t been friends for that long, but it feels like it’s been forever, right?”
Yeah. It does. “Sure.”
“So… if something like this happens again, let me know how I can help. I’ll be there for you. Pinky promise.”
“Thanks, Shouyou.”
“Anytime. Hey, can you buy today? I promise I’ll pay you back.”
Tobio shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.”
His alarm doesn’t go off. Tobio stares at the red glowing lights that say 07:10.
“GOD DAMMIT!” He yells at the top of his lungs.
Fuck it. He isn’t going to school today. He’s going to stay home and figure out how to get himself out of this stupid mess.
Hinata texts him at 8:05. Everything okay? You missed practice.
Sick, Tobio texts back. He asks if Hinata can let everyone else know too.
He’ll get a text from his parents asking why he isn’t at school, so Tobio tells them he’s sick as well. Then he gets to work writing down every single thing he can remember about the day he keeps reliving. Tobio tapes the papers to his bedroom wall and scrawls Fate Love Purpose at the top. Surely one of these categories is why he’s trapped in this godforsaken loop. He’ll focus on fate first. What defines fate? What is his fate that is making him relive the same day?
Tobio clicks his tongue and scratches behind his ear. Fate is volleyball, right? Is it because he’s having doubts about volleyball?
Well, he isn’t having doubts. He’s just nervous he’ll make a fool out of himself or somehow end up reliving the past. That’s all. He isn’t doubtful that volleyball is in his future at all.
Okay, love. This could be it. Love has been a little lackluster lately. He hasn’t really been interested in finding love, not when his mind is consumed by volleyball. Tomorrow, when Itome asks him out, he’ll say yes and demand that the date be that afternoon.
Tobio goes into town. He gets something to eat and sits down in a cafe to watch people. There’s a couple on a date that keeps feeding one another food. Weird. Tobio doesn’t understand that. Maybe he needs to think about what love means to him.
That’s just the issue, though. Tobio doesn’t think he’s ever been in love. Sure, he loves his parents and he loves his sister, but they were never around him long enough to make a difference. His grandfather on the other hand…
That was love. Tossing a volleyball. Sneaking him ice cream. Letting Tobio stay up late to watch movies cuddled in his arms. His grandpa provided him with some semblance of a normal childhood.
Hinata’s family loved each other differently. Hinata took care of his younger sister. He played with her, fed her, even washed her clothes. Their mother was always around to make them meals and read them bedtime stories. Even though Hinata’s father left the family at a young age and they didn’t always have money to make ends meet, they were happy. They were loved.
Tobio’s parents were never home. They thought they could show their love through money and gifts when all he wanted was their support. They never once went to one of his games. Come to think of it, they didn’t go to Miwa’s either.
He sighs and raises his cup of tea to his lips. Love. Maybe getting the girl is the answer.
When his alarm fails to go off the next morning, Tobio ignores it and instead makes his way to school as quickly as he can. He apologizes to Yamaguchi, flips Hinata off, and prepares to make his move. He doesn't even wait for Itome to approach him after class, instead marching straight up to her.
“Itome, will you go on a date with me today? Dinner, my treat.”
Her eyes grow wide. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I have volleyball practice until 4. Be at my place by 5?”
“Sure, I’d love to! What is your phone number?” The two exchange numbers so Tobio can text her his address and he leaves her buzzing with excitement. He swears he hears her whispering to all her friends about having a date with a “smoking hot volleyball player” too.
“I can’t believe you,” Hinata says at lunch.
“What?” Tobio pushes over his stir fry. He is not making himself bleed. He also needs to bring something different for lunch because he’s getting tired of it. Note to self, change lunch before leaving the house.
“You asked a girl out? Not to mention one of the hottest girls in our year?!”
Oh. He didn’t know that. Tobio really needs to pay more attention. He watches that girl drop her lunch again. “I know she likes me so I agreed.”
“What happened to focusing on volleyball?”
“It’s only one date, Hinata. What, are you jealous?”
“I didn’t say that! I’m not jealous of you!”
“I don’t know, it sounds like you’re jealous.”
“No! I’ll— I’ll show you! I’ll find a girl to go on a date with and she’ll be even hotter than Itome-kun, I swear!”
Tobio yawns in his friend’s face and Hinata punches him in the shoulder.
Itome is wearing a dress. She looks pretty, but Tobio still really isn’t all that excited about this date. What happens if she tries to kiss him? Will the universe demand he go along with it for the sake of leaving the time loop?
He doesn’t really want to kiss her. It’s not because he doesn’t find her attractive. That’s not it at all. He just… has other things to focus on right now.
Tobio also realizes over the course of dinner that he knows absolutely nothing about this girl beside her name. And it’s her family name, even, because he sure doesn’t know her given name.
She wants to be a doctor and is going to school in Kyoto after graduation. Her favorite color is pink and she likes to talk about herself. Maybe being shy was just an act, because she seems perfectly fine now.
“So you play volleyball?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“So like, what are you doing with that after school?”
“I’m moving to Tokyo to play for the Adlers. It’s a D-1 team. The V-Leagues.”
“V-Leagues?”
“Uh, like the professional organization. You know. We have baseball leagues and soccer leagues and—”
“Volleyball leagues, right. Makes sense. But what do you want to do career-wise?”
He blinks. “That. Playing volleyball.”
“Oh. I see. Well, that’s super cool then.” She smiles. “You know, I didn’t think you liked me back. You’re kind of famous for turning girls down at Karasuno, so I didn’t really know if you’d say yes.”
“Really?” Tobio didn’t think he turned girls down all that often. “Hmm.”
“Is it because you don’t like girls? I mean, obviously, that’s not it, but I guess you could swing both ways…”
“What?”
“Because you’re always with that redheaded kid, right? Oh, what’s his name? He’s really small.”
“Hinata. And he isn’t that small.” Even though Tobio constantly teased him about it, he feels a sense of a condescending tone from Itome that he does not like. “Look, Hinata and I aren’t together, so you don’t have to worry about that. We’re just friends.”
“I just think it’s kind of weird that you hang out so much. I mean, volleyball isn’t the most manliest of sports.”
“It’s perfectly manly, thank you!” Not that Tobio has ever once given thought to the definition of manliness. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. It’s fun and I like it. Oh, and I do like girls, okay? I’m just thinking ahead.”
“You should allow yourself to have more fun then, Kageyama-kun. Dates are supposed to be fun, you know. It isn’t like you immediately have to get married after one date.”
Huh. He hadn’t really thought about it that way. Tobio was just used to always having a game plan, always knowing what he wanted to do with life and executing that plan as such. “I guess not.”
“Have you ever dated anyone… ever?”
“No.”
“Not even once?”
“No. Should I have?”
“So I’m your first date ever?” Her eyes widen. “You’ve never kissed anyone? Never held hands with anyone?”
“I’ve been thinking about volleyball—”
“Is volleyball all you ever think about?”
“Of course not, but I’ve wanted to go pro since I was a kid, so I thought I’d focus on that!”
“And what happens when you get to Tokyo? Are you going to keep focusing only on volleyball so that you forget to have any kind of social life?”
“Well, I…” Tobio trails off. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I don’t know.”
“Hmm,” she ends, taking a sip of her water. Tobio bites his lip.
Dinner ends soon after. Tobio walks Itome home with his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t want to hold her hand. He’d rather run away.
“Well, Kageyama-kun, it’s been a pleasure.”
“Same.” Bullshit. He should have gotten meat buns with Hinata.
“Can I do you a favor first?”
“Do me a favor?”
“Mmhmm.” With a big smile, Itome tugs on Tobio’s shirt until they are face-to-face and plants a big kiss on his lips. Tobio is too stunned to move or say anything, so instead, he lets her kiss him until she feels like she’s finished.
“There. Now you’ve kissed someone. Congratulations.”
And just like that, the door slams in his face. With a heavy sigh, Tobio pulls his phone out to check his messages while he begins his walk home. He has several missed calls from Yachi, Yamaguchi, and even Tsukishima, which is the first red flag. The second is the string of texts he has from Yamaguchi.
Hinata is at the hospital. He slipped on ice and hit his head— probably has a concussion. Tsukki, Yaachan, and I are with him. Come see him when you can.
Fuck.
“Fuck!” He shouts. The ice, the fucking ice— he forgot to say something. A concussion means he can’t play and— he freezes. The days are repeating. Hinata could be safe tomorrow. Then again, the day might not repeat tomorrow.
Tobio immediately heads to the ER.
Yamaguchi greets him at the entrance. He smiles. “Hey, Yama.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s okay. Awake, even. They are doing some tests right now, but he definitely has a concussion. They just need to see how bad it is. But that means—”
“He won’t be able to play. Right.” Tobio runs a hand through his hair. He finds himself hoping that he’ll wake up tomorrow and it will still be December 23. “Shit, I should have been there.”
“Hey, it isn’t your fault. It was black ice; he couldn’t see it. None of us did.”
“But I always walk home with him. I left for my date and I didn’t—”
“It’s not your fault,” Yamaguchi repeats. He puts his hand on Tobio’s shoulder. “I know you’ve been having some issues of your own, but this isn’t your fault, okay?”
“Yeah.” Except it is because he knew. “Yeah, you’re right. Is he going to get discharged soon?”
“I think so. I already let his mom know, so she should be here soon.”
“Cool.”
Tobio joins the rest of the group in the waiting room. He doesn’t know how long he’s there, but by the time Hinata walks out, he’s nodding off. Yachi nudges him to wake him up.
“Shou’s here,” she whispers. “He will probably want to see you.”
“Yeah, sure.” He pulls himself out of the chair to join Hinata and his mother. Mrs. Hinata has her arm around her son tightly and is already starting to lead him to the car.
“Is Kageyama here?”
“Yeah, I’m right here.”
He smiles. “Hi, Yama.”
“Sorry guys, I’d love to stick around, but the doctor said to get him home immediately. Can one of you bring him his homework tomorrow?”
“I’d love to, Hinata-san,” says Tobio. His hands are shaking.
“Thank you, guys.” And they’re gone.
By the time Tobio’s head hits the pillow, he’s out.
07:10.
Tobio would be annoyed, but he’s relieved today. Day six. He adds “black ice” as he’s writing down his notes for today before sliding on his school uniform and rushing out the door. It’s only when he’s halfway to Karasuno that he remembers he forgot to swap his lunch out. Stir fry again. Maybe he’ll grab something from the vending machine instead.
He feels like speed-running today. Going on a date with Itome could work if he remembers to warn Hinata about the ice. He could also just try being a wild card if he knows tomorrow is going to repeat. Maybe he doesn’t have consequences anymore. Wouldn’t that be something?
Practice is a breeze. He gets a perfect score on his math quiz and then walks up to Itome and kisses her in front of everyone. Tobio’s classmates whoop and holler jokingly as Itome squeaks in surprise. He doesn’t bother asking for a date this time. Tobio has other things he wants to try today as well.
Tobio gives Hinata his lunch. “Get dinner with me tonight.”
“Oh! Sure. Sounds good.” A pause. “Did you really kiss one of the hottest girls in school today?”
“Yep.”
“That is very un-Kageyama-like.”
“I’m trying out some new things today.” He smiles. “We’ll see how it turns out.”
“Are you going to date her now?”
“Probably not.”
“Yama, that’s kind of messed up.”
“Whatever. I wanted to kiss someone before I graduated. Now I have that off my list.”
“What else is on your list?”
“Sex, probably. Maybe drinking beer. Oh, and jumping off a bridge.”
“It’s the middle of winter!”
Tobio shrugs. “An entire river won’t freeze.”
“Back up, sex? What prompted you to want to have sex?”
“I’m a normal person, asshole!” Tobio scoffs. It’s not like he’s asking to do it now.
“Did you hit your head while you were late running here?”
“No. I’m perfectly sane.”
Possibly.
Days seven, eight, and nine revolve around Tobio’s date with Itome. He makes sure to stay long enough to save Hinata from the ice and then runs home to change. Tobio focuses on asking her questions, listening to every word out of her mouth so he can surprise her on future dates. He even kisses her at the end of each date, and one day, she invites him inside.
“My parents aren’t home,” she whispers, lips pressed against his ear. Tobio is really betting on love being the reason he’s stuck in this loop because if it’s not, he’s going to have a meltdown.
And that’s how he ends up in her bed. Itome has done this before, it seems, because she’s leading the way, guiding Tobio’s hands where she wants them to lay. Maybe he was lying when he said he wanted to have sex because now he’s here and he does not want to do it. He’s not even turned on even a little bit by this.
“Itome, I don’t—”
“Shh,” she mumbles, still kissing his neck. Tobio pushes gently.
“I don’t want to do this right now!”
Finally, she listens, sitting up to stare at him. Her dress is halfway off her shoulder and he can see her bra strap. “Really?”
“I just... I've never done it before, and—”
“You’re a virgin?”
“Uh... yeah.”
“Oh.” She blinks. “I wouldn’t have guessed.”
“Sorry, I just... Not now. Maybe later?”
The door is slammed in his face.
Tobio stays home for the next few days. He still texts Hinata to look out for ice, but he’s becoming bored. The universe knows he doesn’t love Itome, doesn’t it? That’s why it wasn’t working. And he isn’t about to have sex with her, that’s for sure.
“Dammit,” he mutters. That was a waste of time. What should he do now? His other two options are fate or purpose. He’s already toyed with the idea of fate and it doesn’t make any sense to him. What about purpose? Is this loop for him to spend time figuring out why he was put on this planet?
The obvious answer is volleyball, but maybe there’s more to it. Why else is he here?
He needs Hinata’s help. Hinata is the movie expert, so maybe he’ll know.
So, by the time the days start blurring together, Tobio sits down across from Hinata at lunch (he actually remembered to bring something different) and slams his notebook down.
“The days keep repeating,” he starts. Hinata blinks at him.
“What?”
“The same day keeps repeating over and over again. It’s been December 23 for like, two weeks now? Maybe three. I don’t know. I lost count.”
“Are you telling me you’re stuck in a time loop?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you right now.” He flips open his notebook and scans the page. Just like everything else, his notes disappear and he has to rewrite them every morning. Lucky for him, Tobio has a great memory. “That boy over there will get hit in the head with balled-up trash right... now.” Sure enough, he gets smacked in the head and laughs. Hinata purses his lips. “That girl will drop her lunch. That boy over there is about to get tripped.” Everything he points out happens just as he expected it would. Hinata still isn’t convinced.
“I don’t know, Yama. Those all seem like pretty standard things. You could have just guessed.”
“Don’t worry. I have more.”
Tobio continues pointing out things to Hinata every chance he gets. Even during practice, Tobio points out missed receives, plays that he could not have guessed beforehand, and even things he knew Tukishima would say. By the end of it, Hinata looks like he might believe him.
“Okay,” he says warily, looking at Tobio with his eyes narrowed, “say you are trapped in a time loop. What have you tried so far?”
“Well, you told me there are three big options: love, fate, or purpose. I’ve tried figuring out what fate really means. My purpose is volleyball, right? As for love…” Tobio trails off. He doesn’t want to talk about that. “It’s also possible that I have a lesson I need to learn… but I have no clue what that could be. Any ideas?”
“Lessons, lessons…” Hinata’s tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. They leave the gym bundled up in winter coats and head to the bike rack. Tobio is already clinging to him to make sure he doesn’t fall and crack his head open again. “Wait, I told you those were the big three? When?”
“I don’t know. One of the many days I’ve lived through.”
“Hmm. Okay. Maybe it has something to do with your attitude or arrogance.”
“Am I still that arrogant?”
“Sometimes. Not enough to make you a terrible person! You’ve changed, for sure.” Hinata taps his chin. “What are the parameters of this time loop? Walk me through your day.”
“Every day I wake up at 7:10. My alarm never goes off so I’m late for practice. So I run to the gym, you tell me you win, blah, blah, blah, and then I go to class. Itome asks me out. We have a math quiz and a literature reading. We finish afternoon practice. You ask me to get food.”
“Do you want to get food?”
“My point exactly.” Tobio shakes his head. “Then I go home and fall asleep.”
“So when does the day reset?”
“Huh?”
“If you wake up at 7:10 on December 23 every day, then there has to be a specific time the day resets. “
“Oh.” Idiot. He hadn’t even stopped to think about that. “I’ve always just gone to bed around the same time. I never thought about trying to stay up as late as possible.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh… yeah.” Tobio scratches his neck again. “That’s a good idea, though. Will you come over and stay up with me?”
“I can stay as long as possible, but my mom will want me home by 11.”
“That’s fine.” Tobio is sure he can convince Hinata to stay longer. “We can order takeout to my place. My parents are gone, so my treat.”
“Did they leave you food money?”
“Just like they always do.”
“Right. Okay. Sure.” Hinata smiles widely and goes to unlock his bike. Tobio’s hand shoots out to grab him the second he slips, stopping him from moving at all. “Woah. Nice reflexes.”
“Sure. Let’s go with that.”
Hinata puts on a movie while Tobio finds something to order in. They sit on the sofa together, their knees bumping with every stretch or sudden movement.
“Maybe the time loop has to do with something you’re insecure about.”
Tobio raises an eyebrow. “In what way?”
“How are you feeling about moving to Tokyo? And playing professionally?”
“I’m scared,” he says. Is this conversation going to come up every time they hang out? Is it because it’s something stuck in Hinata’s head as well?
“About what?”
“All of it, I guess. Living on my own. Moving to a big city. Playing with professionals that have their own families and lives together. I won’t even be nineteen when I start. I’ll be the youngest one on the team and what if everyone hates me? What if I get benched?”
“Why do you think you’d get benched?”
“For yelling, maybe. I don’t know.”
“So be aware of yourself and what you do. What you say, even. Then that won’t happen. And you’ll have people around to support you, Tobio. You won’t be alone up there.”
Hmm. Maybe that’s why he’s stuck. He’s worried about the future. Maybe fate is the correct answer.
“I find it hard to believe that little detail of your future is the reason the days are repeating, though.”
“You don’t think something so minute would warrant a supernatural reaction?” He’s being sarcastic, but Hinata shakes his head anyway.
“Did you hurt someone? Say something you shouldn’t have? Or vice versa?”
Tobio tries to think of the original day that started all of this, but he doesn’t remember. Except… “I wanted to tell you I’d miss you, but I didn’t.”
Hinata’s perfect, blissful smile returns. “You’ll miss me?”
“Of course I will. You’re the person that—” Tobio pauses. “—found me.”
No.
No.
He spent all this time going after Itome when the person he truly loved was right here in front of him. Hinata, who looked at Tobio like he was the world, who praised and hit every toss, even the ones that missed him completely. Hinata, who shared his food and gave Tobio his milk boxes and offered his scarf even when he was just as cold.
Hinata, who showed him that being the King of the Court didn’t have to be an insult because he deserved to be treated like royalty.
Now he’s confused. Unsure. When Hinata said “getting the girl,” he made it sound like love needed to be a romantic thing. That’s why his mind went straight to the girl who had asked him out, even though he had no interest in her at all. In fact, Tobio didn’t really have any interest in girls at all.
He much rather preferred Hinata’s warmth and comfort, his calloused, red hands and bony wrists that hit every ball, and the smooth skin that looked too pretty to touch. Hinata was pretty— prettier than anyone he had ever seen before.
Tobio’s throat bobs. Are these the revelations he’s supposed to be getting right now? Is this where the universe is guiding him? Teaching him?
“I’ll miss you too, Yama. But you know what? We’re both going to get better. We’re going to be incredible, even. And then we’ll see each other again. We made a promise, right?” Hinata sticks his pinkie finger out for Tobio to grab. Their fingers interlock, and a tingle bounces down Tobio’s spine.
And this is why he doesn’t want anything to change. Without Hinata around to support and guide him, what will Tobio do with his life? His grandpa once said that if he continues to chase, someone better will come along and find him. If that person is Hinata, who found him when he was the most lost, then who will lift him up any better than Hinata Shouyou?
He isn’t able to let go, not right now, not when his life is still unstable. He needs Hinata with him. He needs a partner, a friend.
“Tobio.”
“Huh?”
“The food’s here.” Hinata is still smiling. Curse his stupid, pretty smile. “Want me to get it?”
“Oh. Sure.” While he sits twiddling his thumbs, Hinata stands up to answer the door. He brings back their Chinese take-out boxes and breaks a pair of chopsticks for Tobio to use. They eat in silence, allowing the movie to fill in the background. Tobio is even careful enough not to make his gums bleed this time around.
If he tells Hinata that he loves him, will the loop end? Will Tobio be successful?
They still have a few hours to go. Maybe he should wait.
“What would you want to do if you weren’t playing volleyball?” Says Hinata suddenly. “Remember when we used to talk about going to university?”
“Right. I don’t know. Literature, maybe? I like reading and writing.” A pause. “I guess I could have been a teacher.”
“Oh! Like Takeda-san! You would be really great at that, Yama.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah! I would want to be a trainer. Ooh, or something with children! I’d want to teach children sports!”
Tobio chuckles. “I could see that.”
“I guess if this Brazil thing falls through, I’ll go to school.”
“Why would it fall through?”
“Y’know. Money and stuff.” Hinata looks away out of shame. “I feel like maybe I wouldn’t do well either.”
“Have you talked to your mom about it?”
“Of course. Natsu, too. They are both really supportive, but it’s hard knowing I won’t see them for two years, and it’s even harder knowing that my mom might go broke trying to support me. I don’t want that to happen. Then it gets hard because it’s like, do I really want to go two years without seeing my sister or my mom? Is Natsu going to feel like I abandoned her?”
“Of course not. She’s your sister, Shou. She’ll support you indefinitely.”
Hinata stares at his takeout box. “Was it hard when your sister left?”
“Sure. She took care of me growing up when my parents weren’t around. Then after her was my grandpa, but he…” Tobio trails off. It still hurts to talk about him all these years later. “He passed away soon after.”
“But you never blamed her for abandoning you.”
“I never saw it that way, no. She wanted to go to school and get out of the house. I want to do the same thing. Natsu will understand. If she’s anything like you, she’s resilient and smart. She’ll be fine on her own.”
“She’ll be going into middle school by the time I leave.” Hinata laughs softly. “It’s crazy to think she and I used to spend all our time in the backyard tossing the ball back in forth when I was in middle school. She was only five years old and she was so amazing, even back then. She’s gonna be incredible.”
“So will you,” says Tobio. “I mean, you already are incredible. You have been such since I first met you. So much raw talent and athleticism— I was so jealous. And when you get some more practice in, you’re going to be even more incredible.”
“Thanks. That really means a lot.”
They look at each other. Hinata’s cheeks are red and his knee bounces restlessly. He must have been really hungry because the takeout box is nearly empty. Tobio closes up his own food and discards it to a nearby table.
“Let’s play video games,” he suggests. Hinata happily agrees.
They play video games for a few hours. By the time both of them are tired out, Hinata looks down at his phone. “I should probably go soon. It takes me about an hour to get back from your place.”
“Can’t you just stay the night? You have all your stuff.”
“I know, but my mom…” He sighs. “I can ask, but she doesn’t like me staying out too late.”
“It’s just this one time. I don’t want to be alone.”
“I know.” Hinata starts to chew on the inside of his lip. “I’ll text her. Want to go to your room?”
“Sure. I’ll clean up.”
“Okay.” Hinata disappears down the hall as Tobio puts away the game console. He’s always known his family was well off, but it wasn’t until he met Hinata that he realized just how lucky he really was. Even if Hinata doesn’t remember, he still feels bad for mocking his social class that one afternoon.
Tobio ventures into his bedroom where Hinata is sitting on his bed. Once again, they look at each other. There is a weird tension in the room that he can’t describe. It’s a funny feeling. It feels thick, tangible, like humidity or fog after a rainy day. How does one explain a feeling like that?
“Are you okay?” He asks because he’s not sure what else to say.
“I’m good. My mom said she’s fine if I stay the night.”
“No arguments?”
“She just said she wants me to spend as much time with you as possible. I guess she understands too.”
“Parents understand more than we think, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Hinata rubs his hands together as Tobio sits down with him at the top of his bed. “I don’t know why it feels like today is the last day I’ll see you. We still have three months left.”
“And Nationals.”
“Right. And Nationals.” He pauses to take a breath. “But if your days continue to repeat, then you’ll never get to that point, and I guess… I guess today will be the last day I see you.”
“No,” Tobio shakes his head, “because we’re going to break the loop tonight.”
“How?”
“Because I love you.” His throat bobs. Tobio looks away.
“You… love me?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about how to define love since the days started repeating. You told me to ‘get the girl’ and I took that literally, but you’re right in front of me, and you always have been. And you always will. And everything you do for me… translates into my version of love. So yeah. I love you.”
“Do you think admitting that will break the loop?”
“I had to realize I loved you, didn’t I? And if you’re uncomfortable with it—”
“I’m not,” Hinata interrupts with a quiet giggle. “I’m not— Tobio, I love you too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Still laughing, Hinata reaches both his hands out and pulls Tobio into a kiss. Tobio is shocked at first because this isn’t what he meant when he said those words, but this feels different. This isn’t anything like kissing Itome. Hinata is just as soft, if not more, and he tastes even better. Wow— Tobio really likes this. You’d think after all these times of kissing Itome he would know what he likes and what he doesn’t, but this is entirely new and he doesn’t know how to act. Wait— how does Hinata know how to kiss?
It’s not crazy to think Hinata could be having secret girlfriends, is it? Technically he was going on dates too… but with the same girl… over the same day.
It’s not the same.
He pulls away.
“What?” Says Hinata.
“Why’d you kiss me?”
“Because I thought… oh shit, did I not read the situation right?” Hinata starts to panic and Tobio grabs his arm.
“No, I mean, it’s fine that you kissed me, just, I wasn’t expecting that you knew how to kiss, so then I panicked—”
“I’ve kissed people before, you asshole—”
“But boys? I mean, me?” Tobio tilts his head. “Do you like me?”
“Isn’t that what you meant by ‘I love you?’”
“I just… I love you like how I love my sister or my grandpa, not like—”
“Oh my god, Tobio, I am so sorry!” Hinata shoves his head into his hands. “I’m the worst! You didn’t even consent—”
“Shouyou, I liked it, okay?!” Tobio nearly yells. “Stop freaking out!”
“You—you did?”
“Yes. It was fine. So… calm down.” He rubs at his neck. Is it possible that he does like Hinata that way? Tobio supposes it wouldn’t hurt to find out. If this doesn’t work, the day will repeat regardless, so essentially he has no repercussions.
And if this does work out, then he wouldn’t be disappointed, either.
“If you’re not sure—”
“I’m sure.” Tobio touches the top of Hinata’s hand. “So take a deep breath, and kiss me again.”
Hinata is shy this time. He doesn’t seem as confident as the first time and he certainly isn’t leading anymore. Tobio’s had enough practice at this point to feel comfortable taking the lead, but he still feels weird about it. He’s kissing his best friend, his partner, of the last three years. He’s kissing someone he swore to defeat.
Should they be doing this? Is it ethical? Morally correct? Regrettable?
All of the above?
But it feels nice. His stomach is all bubbly and his muscles are tense enough to pop. It’s a nice feeling, one he hasn’t felt in so long and never felt during all those hours with Itome. Tobio still doesn’t feel ready enough to go any farther than kissing, but even this is a nice change in pace.
His biggest worry, however, is still trying to figure out if this is enough to break the loop.
They kiss for a little while longer before Hinata pulls away and rests his head against Tobio’s shoulder. It’s quiet. Calm. The clock shows that it’s starting to get late. It wouldn’t hurt to sleep just a little bit, would it?
“If anything,” Hinata mumbles, “I’m happy I got to spend time with you today. Time like this.”
“We can do it again,” Tobio mumbles back. “Any time you want.”
“But if this doesn’t work, I won’t remember any of this.”
He runs his hand through Hinata’s hair and rests his chin on top. “This will work. I know it will work. Because I found you, and you found me.”
“I’m here.”
“You’re here.”
It’s quiet. Tobio stares at the clock, watching the numbers tick down. He jiggles Hinata, wanting to make sure the redhead hasn’t totally fallen asleep even if he’s nodding off.
“Shouyou.”
“Mm... I’m still awake, I promise...”
He’s snoring. He’s half-awake at best, but that’s okay. Tobio is falling asleep too, but he’s forcing himself to stay awake. His eyes burn and his hands are starting to tingle from being underneath Hinata’s awkward frame.
23:57. 23:58. 23:59.
Tobio squeezes his eyes shut. He holds Hinata closer to him. Please, he thinks. Please, please, please.
00:00.
Tobio wakes up in his bedroom, alone, staring at a clock that says 7:10.
He loses his mind.
“FUCK!” Tobio tosses his alarm clock across the room.
“SHIT!” He rips the books off his bookshelf and knocks his lamp off his end table.
“GOD DAMMIT!” He tears his duvet off his bed and drives his fist into the wall. It hurts. Burns, even. Tobio stands, breathing heavily, tears running down his face.
He’s stuck here. He’ll never get out. This sucks. What does he do now? Does he give up on his dream of making it to Tokyo to play professional volleyball? Does he stop trying to get out?
Tobio has no consequences. No matter what he does, he’ll awake to the crisp morning of December 23.
What should he do? Lay in bed all day? Go into town and rob a bank? Threaten someone and steal their wallet?
Or does he keep trying to break the loop, keeping the hope brewing inside of him that he can get out of this alive? Should he keep taking notes and try to convince people that he’s actually stuck here?
“Fuck,” he mutters again, this time quietly, as he rips open his closet to pull out his school uniform.
When he gets to practice, Tobio walks into the gym and marches straight toward Hinata. Hinata’s joking, laughing persona melts away when he sees an angry, six-foot man stomping toward him.
“Yama, what are you— oomph!”
Tobio kisses him as hard as he can, backing him into the wall. He can hear laughter and oohs from behind him, but doesn’t care. Hinata melts underneath his touch.
He can speedrun this today. He can get through this and break the loop. He can do this.
“Tobio, what are you doing?” Hinata hisses at him.
“I want to have sex with you,” he says. Hinata’s face flushes the color of strawberries.
“Tobio! We’re in the gym! And there are people around!”
“Right now,” he says, already unbuttoning his pants. Hinata slaps him across the face. It stings. “What the hell?”
“What the hell is right! What is wrong with you?” Hinata’s eyes are wet. He shoves Tobio away and stomps outside. Tobio blinks, looking around the gym at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima staring mortified at him and the underclassmen who seem confused as to what is happening.
“Excuse me,” he murmurs before disappearing outside himself.
Hinata is huddled against the wall in nothing but his gym shorts and a thin t-shirt. Tobio sighs as he unzips his coat and offers it. He at least has a long-sleeved shirt on.
“Keep your coat. I don’t want it.”
“What did I do?”
“Seriously?” Hinata glares at him. There are still tears in his eyes. “You can’t just walk up and— and do stuff like that! I didn’t even know you liked me! You were late and you walked in and— seriously, what is wrong with you?”
Tobio sighs. He’s going home. This was a mistake. “My bad.” He starts to walk away. Hinata’s brows furrow.
“Your bad? Your bad?!” Hinata follows. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me!”
“We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Tobio, what is going on?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he waves his hand, “you’ll forget about it tomorrow.” Tobio steps over the curb to cross the street.
“Look, if you want to talk about what we are, we can do that in private! You don’t need to drag the whole team into it.”
“Do you like me like that?”
“Of course I do, but I didn’t like you coming in and demanding me to have sex with you!”
In hindsight, that wasn’t his best idea. Tobio sighs and turns around, his feet planted in the middle of the street. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“It’s only eight! What are you talking about?”
“If I were to explain it, it wouldn’t make any sense.” He turns on his heel. “See you tomorrow, Shou.”
“Wait, Tobio, look out!”
He turns toward the sound of a loud horn. A truck slams into him.
Tobio awakes to the wavering red numbers of 7:10 am.
“Holy shit,” he says out loud.
He can’t die.
Not only does he not have any consequences, but he’s also immortal.
It starts slowly, but soon Tobio is in full-blown laughter. He’s lost it. He’s completely lost it.
He’s pretty sure he’s depressed.
Tobio has no clue how many days have passed. He’s neglecting basic hygiene, but it doesn’t really matter since the days reset anyway. He might not physically be dirty, but he feels like it. He feels disgusting.
He doesn’t bother getting out of bed. He doesn’t bother telling anyone where he is, either. Why would he when the day will reset in the morning and no one will remember any of it? He’ll be stuck here alone forever and ever. Tobio will never make it to Tokyo. He’ll never play professional volleyball. He’ll never graduate high school. He’ll never get to tell Hinata how he actually feels and he’ll never get the chance to understand who he really is.
And who is he, really? An arrogant, bossy setter who is unable to let other people critique him? A hopeless, sad boy who pretends to be confident, pretends to be sure of himself, but is actually a nervous wreck? Is he an incredible setter? A boy who depends far too much on a friend he’s in love with and is scared to be alone?
How does he become okay with being alone? How does he become okay with living without Hinata?
This is his fault, he realizes. He’s the one who wished nothing would change. He’s the one who wished for more time. He took his words for granted and now he’s paying the price.
Tobio cries, somedays. He can’t remember the last time he cried, but now he’s doing it all the time. Other days, he kills himself just to get through the days faster. Every time he wakes up in that bed, he starts crying again.
He feels pathetic, but there’s no one he can talk to that will believe or understand him without a good thirty-minute explanation. He wishes he could relive that one day he spent with Hinata, but he can’t even recall the steps he took to get to that point.
He wishes Hinata would just believe him off the bat. He can’t bring himself to care anymore.
There is one day when there’s a knock at his door. Confused, Tobio pulls himself out of bed and unlocks the door. He’s never had a visitor during his days at home. This is strange.
It’s Hinata.
“Hey. Can I come in?”
“I wouldn’t,” Tobio croaks out. He hasn’t spoken in days. Maybe even weeks. “I’m sick.”
“Oh.” Hinata pulls his bag forward and rifles through it until he finds two masks. He hands one forward and slides the other one on. “Now can I come in?”
Tobio sighs and stares at the mask in his hand. It isn’t like this will matter. The day will repeat tomorrow.
But this is different. Hinata has never come to visit him. The sun is still out, meaning Hinata left practice early. Tobio didn’t even message him this time, and his bike is nowhere to be found. Interesting. How did this happen? Has it always been a possibility? What did he do that triggered something different to occur?
“Fine,” he agrees, putting his own mask on. Hinata steps inside and Tobio closes the door behind him. They take seats in the living room.
“You could have told me you were sick.” Hinata blinks at him. Tobio shrugs.
“Forgot.”
Hinata raises an eyebrow. Tobio can almost see the frown behind the mask. “I don’t think you’re actually sick. I think you’re sad.”
“Mm. Yeah.” Tobio scratches at his leg. “I am depressed. Good observation.”
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t really want to be alive anymore.”
Hinata looks even more concerned. “What about Tokyo? What about volleyball?”
“If I could get out of this time loop, then maybe I’d feel better about it. But I can’t, I’m stuck here forever, so it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. I can’t even tell you I love you without feeling like an idiot because it doesn’t matter.”
“That’s not true. You matter. Everything matters. You’ll be so great playing for the Adlers and—”
“Say whatever you want, it doesn't matter.”
“Tobio.” Hinata pulls his mask off and looks intently at him. “I love you. So much. And if I didn’t have you in my life, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. You helped me realize who I am and what I can become. If you weren’t around when I needed you most, I would have lost myself. So let me help you.”
“That’s the thing, Shou. It doesn’t matter. Tomorrow will repeat and you won’t remember. You’ll go on. I’ll remember to text you to look out for the ice.”
His frown returns. “What ice?”
“By the bike rack.”
“I left my bike at school. Came straight here to check on you after school got out.”
“You just left practice?”
“We were all worried about you. It isn’t often you miss practice without giving us a call. I was assuming the worst, and I think I was right to do that.”
“So what made you come here then? What’s different?” Hinata has never done this. Does it mean it is possible to change the outcome of this time loop?
Does he even have the energy to change it?
“I was worried about you. Do I need to have a better explanation?”
“Yes, because you’ve never done this before.”
“What are you talking about?”
With another heavy sigh, Tobio tears off his own mask. “Every day I wake up at 7:10. I’m late to practice. The same events happen. I see the same cars, the same people, the same tests and quizzes and movements. None of it matters. Nothing I do matters because at midnight the day restarts and I’m back here. So I’m never going to make it to Tokyo. I’m never going to play volleyball. I’m going to be stuck here forever because I can’t even die. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“You’ve— You’ve tried to take your life?”
“Yep,” he replies, popping the p. Hinata stands up and launches himself forward. It takes Tobio a moment to realize Hinata is hugging him.
“I love you,” breaths Hinata. “Please. Please. Stay with me.”
Tobio is quiet. He hasn’t seen Hinata— Shouyou — in days now. Feeling his touch, smelling his scent, is enough to remind him why he loves this stupid redhead in the first place.
“Thank you.”
He thinks he’s reached acceptance.
Emphasis on “think.”
If this is how he has to spend the rest of his days, Tobio might be okay with it.
Extra, extra emphasis on the “might.”
He gets to see Hinata every day, and he gets to play volleyball. He has food and water and shelter. He has the opportunity to serve those who need it and he always has copious amounts of time to learn. Tobio has started studying Italian and he even visits practice these days to help the first-years with their receives and serves. They are thankful.
It used to be annoying, having to constantly help them, but now it’s something he looks forward to. It helps him, too.
The days go like this:
He wakes up to a missed alarm. Instead of rushing straight there, Tobio stops by the konbini to pick up Yamaguchi’s favorite candy bar. He apologizes for being late, offers the bar as a gift, wishes Tsukishima good luck on his English exam (the blond is always surprised Tobio remembered), and offers to stay late during afternoon practice to make up for being late. He buys that girl a new lunch, stops the boy from getting hit in the back of the head, and even offers to get dinner for Hinata after practice. Everyone seems surprised by his change in attitude, but it isn’t like Tobio is doing that much differently. Or at least, he doesn’t feel like he is. Maybe his attitude really was that bad.
He offers as many tosses to Hinata and the first years as he can give. He thanks Yamaguchi for giving him the opportunity to learn and teach others, and for being such a good captain. He even smiles.
It’s funny how much better life got once he stopped trying to break the loop. He’s thankful for what he has, and even if he wishes things could be different, at least they are okay for now.
He does miss his parents, though. He misses Miwa too. It’s weird how much he missed them once the chance of seeing them disappeared.
Tobio supposes it will be like that once he leaves for Tokyo. He’s seen Hinata every day for years and years. What will happen when he shows up and…
He’s alone?
That’s the thing, though. It used to be a scary thought, being alone, but these days, he’s okay with it. Being alone doesn’t mean he has to be lonely. Adulthood doesn’t have to be scary.
Being away from Hinata Shouyou doesn’t have to be the end.
He’ll see Shouyou again. He’ll play with and against Shouyou again. They’ll always be there for each other because they made a promise. Tobio was just being selfish. He needed to understand that Shouyou had his own life, his own dreams and desires, and Tobio was lucky he got a chance to do that earlier than him.
“You’re different today,” Shouyou says at lunch. He’s said this before. Many times before. Tobio smiles.
“Just thankful for what I have.”
“Since when?!”
“Since forever, asshole! I’m trying to be better about expressing gratitude.” He offers Shouyou his lunch, to which the redhead graciously accepts.
“Mmm, this is good. Did you make this?”
“Yep.”
“God, I will miss your cooking.”
“I’ll send you meals in the mail. Or I’ll make you dinner if you come up to Tokyo.” Once upon a time, he hated saying that. The idea of change made him sick. Now it’s all he thinks about.
“Do you have food at home?”
“Mom gave me food money before she left so kind of. Do you want to make dinner tonight?”
“Yeah! That sounds awesome!” Shouyou beams. “Can I come over after practice?”
“Of course. Did you want to stay late today? I’ll give you extra tosses.”
“No way! Extra tosses from Tobio himself?” He gasps playfully. “I’d be so honored! You know your tosses are the best!”
“Better get used to other tosses when you go to Brazil.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. At least I can see where the ball is going.”
“You can handle yourself just fine now. I took the training wheels off a while ago.”
“Still.” Hinata waves his hands around. “It’s different, y’know?”
“Sure. I get it.” Tobio smiles back at him. “It’ll be weird setting to someone other than you.”
“Ugh Yama, that makes my stomach all fuzzy.”
He blushes. “You don’t have to say it like that.”
“I’ll come over.” Shouyou’s smile softens. It’s a smile only for Tobio.
They stop by the grocery store on their way to Tobio’s house to pick up a few ingredients. Tobio is going to try his hand at making chicken tikka masala.
“Aren’t you supposed to like, let the meat sit or something?” Asks Shouyou as he peers from behind Tobio’s slender frame.
“You mean marinate?”
“Whatever.”
“Normally it’s like ten hours, but we don’t have that time, so we’ll settle for fifteen minutes.” He reaches for the spices out of the cabinet and points to the rice cooker. “Can you handle the rice?”
“Of course I can. Just call me Rice Boy!” He pauses. “Actually, don’t. I hate that.”
“Rice Boy Shouyou.”
“I hate it. Better than Ball Boy, I suppose.”
“I still can’t believe you did that.”
“I can’t either.” Shouyou chuckles. “I don’t regret it, though. I learned a lot.”
“How do you have the guts to just... do that?” Tobio turns around to look at him. All of this is so new. It’s weird how little things he would never expect to have results, such as making something new for lunch, could trigger so much.
“Do what?”
“Stuff like sneaking into a training camp. I could never do that.”
“I dunno. I just think about it, and I do it.” Shouyou shrugs. “I don’t always think about my actions. I’m impulsive. It’s not always a good thing.”
“I think about everything all too much. I overthink. Maybe I could stand to be a little impulsive.”
“That’s why we fit so well together,” Shouyou bumps into him, “and why you’re my best friend.”
“Thank you for dealing with me all these years.”
“You make it sound like you’re dying. I’ll be dealing with you forever. I’ll even marry you if it means I get more tosses.”
Tobio’s face is bright red. God dammit. He’s going to pop a boner if he thinks too much about being married to Shouyou. “Greedy.”
“It’s only because I know you’ll do it.”
“You’re worthy of all my tosses.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.” Tobio dips his pinky into the sauce and sticks it in his mouth. “Hmm. Might need more cardamom. What do you think?”
“Let me see.” Instead of dipping his own finger inside the sauce, Hinata tugs on Tobio’s hand and shoves his finger into his own mouth. Tobio turns an even darker shade of red. He’s a tomato now. This is his new life.
“Needs more cumin, I think. Or no... what am I thinking of? Turmeric.”
Tobio rushes to the sink to wash his hands. He’s going to get an erection. This is so embarrassing.
“I’ll fix it.”
“Tastes good, though.” Shouyou sticks his own finger in for another taste. “You’re good at cooking. When did you get so good at cooking?”
“I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.”
“Huh? When?”
“Uh... long story.” Tobio turns back around. “How’s the rice?”
“Cooking.”
“Great.” They look at each other. Can Hinata tell how nervous Tobio is right now? God, he hopes not.
After fifteen more minutes, dinner is ready. Tobio dishes two bowls of rice and sauce to bring to the kotatsu that Shouyou is already cuddled under. He smiles and sticks out his hands when Tobio approaches.
“That looks so good, Yama. Thank you!”
“Of course. Is the kotatsu warm enough?”
“It’s plenty. I’m just cold.” A chill runs through his body and he laughs. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Tobio sits down and slides under the table. Hinata presses up against him until their thighs touch. Well, so much for all that work to not get an erection. He definitely has one now. God, how long did he go without hanging out with Hinata like this? All that work to better himself and it’s gone out the window because a boy he likes is touching him. Stupid teenage hormones.
They eat quietly. Tobio focuses on the clacking sounds of spoons against the bowls instead of Shouyou’s knee touching his own. Hinata must have been hungry too because he scarfs his food down in roughly ten minutes. Then he sits, staring at Tobio as the taller boy slowly eats his.
“What?”
“You’re just... different.”
“You said that already.”
“I know. I just don’t know how else to describe it. You seem happy.”
“I am happy.” He wipes his mouth with a napkin and raises an eyebrow. “I’m happy to be here with you right now. I’m happy to have time to figure myself out. I’m happy... just to be alive.”
“That’s nice to hear from you. I was beginning to think you’d be freaking out about graduating for the rest of your life.”
“I was, for a long time. But now I’m content.”
Shouyou reaches out for Tobio’s hand. He traces the lines in his palm. “I love your hands.”
“You’re the only one who acts like I have the hands of a god.”
“You do! They are incredible! They give me all the tosses! All of them! And they bring me food and give me high fives and ruffle my hair and...” Shouyou trails off. Tobio tugs his hands away and sticks them in his lap. Fuck, he is hard. He’s really hard. His mind is filled with all kinds of dirty images and he will need a cold shower to fix this issue.
“I like being around you.”
“I like being around you, too.”
There’s another moment of silence. This is the same weird tension that existed between them the first time they kissed. Tobio would make a move, but he doesn’t want to make things awkward or take away the time they have. Tomorrow will return to the mundane life he’s grown accustomed to in this time loop.
Luckily for him, Shouyou makes the first move. Tobio is pinned to the floor underneath the redhead as their lips meet. He tastes just as soft and sweet as he did the first time they kissed. Shouyou holds his hips, his knees digging into Tobio’s sides, and Tobio holds the other boy’s face in his hands. This goes on for much longer than either of them expected, but when Shouyou pulls away, his skin is flushed.
“Can we go to your bedroom?”
“I never finished eating.”
“Do you want to finish eating?”
A pause. “No. Do I taste like curry?”
“Yeah,” Shouyou laughs, “but I don’t care.” He goes to stand up and Tobio grabs his arm.
“Shouyou, you and I.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay with what happens if we move forward?”
He nods. Smiles. “I’ve been waiting for a long time, Tobio.”
Tobio’s entire body tingles. He pushes up from the ground and follows Shouyou down the hallway to his bedroom. The door slams shut behind them as Shouyou pulls off his shirt, followed by Tobio’s own, and they crash down on the bed. Shouyou straddles him and rolls his hips forward. He has to feel how incredibly hard Tobio is right now, but he hasn’t said anything. He’s too occupied with kissing.
Shouyou’s skin is soft to the touch and incredibly smooth like marble. His arms are covered in freckles and he has a tan line where his jersey lays during practice. It’s lighter since it’s winter, but it’s still there, and it’s still enough to make Tobio’s stomach flip.
“How long have you wanted to kiss me?”
“So long.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“Because you were kind of being a jerk. Sorry.” Shouyou presses his lips together. “But now you’re not. And... you were so concerned with Tokyo and volleyball that I didn’t think... the time was right.”
“How long have you liked me?”
“Since the moment I saw you.” He lets out a heavy breath. “You’re royalty, and I... I wanted to treat you as such.”
“Shouyou,” Tobio groans. He shifts to feel Shouyou’s leg against his crotch.
The redhead grinds down against him. Tobio shivers. “Call this a late birthday present.”
“Wait!” Tobio leans up on his forearms. “Are we really going to do this?”
“Do you not want to?”
“I don’t… I don’t know.” He blinks. This has never happened in all of his repeating days. Tobio doesn’t know what to do from here. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Shouyou shrugs. “I haven’t either.”
“You— really?”
“No. I wanted my first time to be special. I wanted it to be… with you.” He looks away in embarrassment when he says that last part. Tobio sighs and reaches out to tug on his face. Shouyou still isn’t looking at him, but he gently overlays his hand on top.
“I want it to be with you too.” Tobio chews on the inside of his cheek. “I’m nervous. And haven’t thought about it in so long.”
“That’s okay. We can be nervous together.”
“If I mess up—”
“You won’t.” Finally, Shouyou glances over at him. He shakes his head gently. “You won’t mess up. Nothing you could do could stop me from loving you.”
A tiny laugh slips from Tobio’s throat. He cannot believe this. “You love me?”
“So, so much.”
“God Shouyou, I love you too.” Their lips meet. For as many days as he’s been stuck in, this has by far been the best one. It’s different too, from the first time he and Shouyou kissed. There, all he could focus on was breaking the loop. Now, Tobio is enjoying himself, and every last second he has before the clock resets at midnight. He feels like Cinderella, but not in a bad way. He’s fortunate. Extremely fortunate. Fortunate that he has a friend and a partner who cares for him more than anything in the world.
Tobio has known for a while now that Shouyou loves him, but it still makes his heart flutter every time. He can’t believe it took him this long to realize his deep admiration for Hinata was actually just the feeling of intense love. Or maybe it’s both. It could be both. He values his friend just as much on the court as he does off.
Shouyou pulls the duvet over them as he rolls his hips forward once more. “Do you have stuff?”
“Uh, somewhere, I think.” He’s taken condoms from doctor’s offices countless times. The only question is where they ended up. Tobio definitely doesn’t have any lube in his room. But… “Oh, god.”
“What?”
“My parents probably have stuff, but we’ll have to look in their room.”
“Uh, like under the bathroom sink, maybe?”
“Maybe.” He cringes at the idea of his parents partaking in anything sexual. “I can go check.”
“Let me come with you.”
Together, the two boys cross the hall to the shut door of the Kageyama parents’ bedroom. Tobio pushes inside, still grimacing at everything happening right now, as they make their way into the en suite bathroom. Shouyou checks under the sink while Tobio opens the bathroom closet. He quickly scans the shelves.
“Anything?” Shouyou asks.
“No. Wait. Maybe.” Tobio grabs a suspicious-looking bottle and sighs with relief. “I found lube.”
“Nice! Now, all we need are condoms.” He shuts the cabinet doors and stands up. “Where else could they be?”
“Hold this.” Tobio shuffles across the mats to his father’s bedside table and tugs it open. He pushes some notebooks and books around until he finds exactly what he’s looking for. “Got it.”
“Just one?”
“How many do we need?”
“I just want to make sure we have extra in case something goes wrong! I don’t know! I’m nervous!” Shouyou is chewing on his thumbnail. Tobio swats his hand away.
“Don’t do that. You’ll ruin your nails. Come on, I’ll grab a few.” He grips them tightly in his palm and turns back toward Shouyou, who is staring at him. “What?”
“What am I going to do without you?”
“Hey.” He steps forward to cradle Shouyou’s face in his free hand. “Focus on me right here, right now, okay?”
“Yeah.” Shouyou nods. “Yeah.”
They make it to the threshold of Tobio’s bedroom before they are connected once more, tongues twisting, breath hitching, hands reaching as they make it to the bed. They discard their items to the side so they can feel each other once more. Tobio focuses on the parts of Shouyou he’s never got the chance to see this close— the freckles that dot his entire body, the mole above his left nipple, the patch of dry skin underneath his armpit, and the redness that coats his entire body as he becomes more and more flushed.
Then it occurs to Tobio during all of this that they never decided who would be doing what.
“Shouyou,” he whispers against the other boy’s hot skin. “Who is going to bottom?”
“I can.”
“Are you sure?”
Shouyou nods. “I’ve practiced.” Somehow, his face turns an even darker shade of red. “A little.”
“You— really?” The image of Shouyou with his fingers inside of himself makes Tobio shiver. God. Focus.
He nods again. “I just... wanted to make sure in case it did happen that I’d be ready. We’re both going to make mistakes here, but at least we’re together, right?”
Tobio laughs and buries his face in Shouyou’s neck. He loves this stupid little brat so much. “You’ll tell me if it hurts?”
“Of course.”
“Okay.” They look at each other one more time before Tobio helps tug Shouyou’s boxers off. He tries to be respectful and not look at the throbbing cock in front of him, but it’s a bit difficult considering how horny he currently is. Shouyou passes over the lube with shaking hands and scoots up the bed so he can watch. He pulls his knees up slightly and spreads his legs.
Tobio, on the other hand, is staring, and staring a lot.
“Shouyou, I’m really scared.”
“We don’t have to—”
“No, I want to, but... I...” He doesn’t have the words. What do you say to the person you love and could possibly hurt for pure pleasure? Tobio has no clue.
“Hey.” Shouyou grabs his arm and tugs him closer. “Just focus on me, okay? Just like you said. Kiss me while you do it, and I promise, pinky promise, that I’ll tell you if it hurts.”
Tobio takes a deep breath and kneels in between Shouyou’s open legs. They hold hands. “Okay. I’m gonna just...”
“Mmhmm,” Shouyou licks his lips and leans back against the pillows on Tobio’s bed.
He stares for a few more seconds and then kisses Shouyou’s stomach. Every inch of the redhead’s skin tastes good against his lips. He kisses the other boy’s inner thighs and rubs his thumb against Shouyou’s hole. It’s okay. It’s okay. This is normal. Shouyou is fine. Look at him. He does. Shouyou looks fine. He looks like he’s enjoying it, actually. That’s good, right? So stop being such a dumbass! Just enjoy yourself like you’ve been doing the rest of the time you’ve been stuck in this stupid loop! After tonight, this might not happen ever again!
The tip of his finger, covered in copious amounts of lube, slides in swiftly. He doesn’t go much further— not because Shouyou sounds like he’s in pain, but because he physically can’t go in further. Shouyou is tight.
“Woah, that’s weird. Can you go in more?”
“Not yet. You are really tight.”
“Will you kiss me, then?”
Tobio doesn’t hesitate. He swoops his partner into a heated kiss, holding him upright while his other finger continues loosening Shouyou up. His mouth follows the curve of Shouyou’s jawline, of his collarbone, of the soft skin underneath his neck. The whole time, Tobio keeps going, pumping his finger in and out, listening to the sounds that make him harder. His underwear is wet from the precum pooling from his slit and he wonders if Shouyou is sober enough to tell from their sex-drugged high.
They don’t speak much during this process, but Tobio is okay with it. He’s always been good at knowing what Shouyou needs. It’s the reason why he was able to give him all his best tosses. It’s the reason they became such good friends. Tobio needed someone strong enough to conquer a king, and Shouyou needed the chance he had been searching for since middle school to do just that. They were— and always would be— perfect for each other.
Tobio pulls his finger out and stares at it. It’s wet.
“What?” Shouyou is staring at him.
“Nothing. I’m gonna try two, okay?”
“Y-Yeah, of course.”
After readjusting himself, Tobio goes back in with two. Just like last time, he struggles to fit them both in past the first knuckle, but after some circling, maneuvering, and rubbing, they slide in with ease. Shouyou gasps underneath Tobio’s warmth, pressing his chest up, grinding his hips to feel his partner against him. They kiss some more, Shouyou clinging to him as tightly as he can, his breath sporadic and his voice cracking every time he tries to speak.
“F-Fuck, Tobio, I n-need— need a minute—”
“Shit, yeah, sorry, let me just...” Tobio pulls his hand away and rests on his knees. Shouyou is still panting, gasping desperately for breath as he strokes his cock with heavy hands.
“God, that’s a lot.”
“We don’t have to do this tonight, Shou. Just let me jerk you off or something.”
“No, no, I’m fine, just need to—” He wipes the sweat off his forehead, “—catch my breath.”
Tobio nods. He kisses the side of Shouyou’s thigh again, moving up to his knobby knees, to his abdomen, his nipples, and his neck. Shouyou tilts up almost unconsciously so the other boy can continue sucking and nipping to his heart’s desire.
“I think I’m ready.”
“You sure?” Tobio looks at him. Shouyou nods.
“Y-Yeah. I just— is it fair you haven’t been touched? Should I like, do something, or—”
“No, it’s okay! Really, it’s okay, honestly, just hearing you is...” Tobio makes an explosion sound with his mouth. “I dunno how to describe it, but it’s okay. I’ll last. Are you doing okay? Do you want me to touch you?”
“It’s okay. I like you holding me better.” He smiles. “More kisses.”
“You like the kisses?”
“Yeah, because they are Kageyama kisses. Tobio-kisses. The best kind.”
Tobio blushes. “Dumbass.”
Their mouths meet. Tobio gets three fingers up and in in no time at all. He’s still not sure how it will feel when he tries to get his cock up there, but the second he hears any signs of pain at all, he’s stopping. Tobio doesn’t care how good it feels; if Shouyou doesn’t like it, he doesn’t either.
Shouyou licks his jaw and Tobio nearly cums right there. He grips Shouyou’s shoulder and forces himself to breathe.
“Dude.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m so fucking hard right now.” They both burst into laughter. Shouyou has tears clinging to his eyelashes. He looks beautiful.
“I’ll put the condom on for you if you want.”
“Do you know how to do it?”
“Of course I do. I paid attention in sex-ed. Didn’t you?”
“Er... yeah. Kind of.” He rubs his neck. “No. Not really.”
“Tobio!”
“I didn’t think— I don’t know! This isn’t exactly the kind of sex I thought I’d be having, okay?”
“You’d still have to put a condom on with a girl, stupid.”
“Uh, yeah, I’m aware, dumbass.” Tobio shakes his head and reaches for one of the condoms on his side table. He unwraps it and hands it to Shouyou, who stretches it out and gestures to Tobio’s boxers.
“Take them off.”
“Alright.” Overtly aware that Shouyou is staring at him, Tobio slides his underwear off and kneels back down on his bed. His cock is heavy and it hurts a whole fucking lot. When did that happen? He was so distracted with making sure Shouyou was okay through all the prep work that he didn’t realize how much pain he was in. When was the last time he had ever been this hard before? Sure, he’s jacked off a few times during his time in this time loop, but it’s never been this bad. He feels sick staring at his massively swollen dick.
“Idiot, why didn’t you tell me it was that bad?” Shouyou clicks his tongue as he wraps his hand around the base of the dark-haired boy’s cock to steady it while he puts the condom on. Tobio sucks in a breath and looks up at the ceiling. Even touching it is enough to make him burst.
“I said I was hard!”
“Yeah, but like this? Our sex will be two seconds long!”
“It’s okay,” he says calmly. Like everything else, Tobio has reached a point of acceptance. “I’m here with you, and that’s all I want.”
Shouyou kisses him, pulling both into a heap on the bed. They didn’t talk about the position or anything like that, but Tobio is pressed chest to back, his cock tickling Shouyou’s hole, and he figures this is probably fine. The redhead moves his hand back, searching for Tobio’s own, and sighs happily when he finds it. Tobio buries his face in the crook of Shouyou’s neck as he uses his free hand to line his cock up.
“More lube?”
“Just a little.” There’s a click and a tiny moan as the cold sensation of lube is drizzled over Shouyou’s hole. Tobio is ready, and he thinks Shouyou is too.
Actually, Shouyou might be more ready than him.
“I’m gonna start, just— tell me if it hurts?”
“Uh-huh.”
Shouyou holds his breath as Tobio pushes it. Just like with his fingers, Tobio’s cock doesn’t quite fit inside and he stops about an inch or two in. Shouyou cries out.
“FUCK! FuCK— Tobio— ow, oW—”
He pulls out. All the way out. “Sorry! God, I’m so sorry, what can I do?”
The redhead squeezes his eyes shut. More sweat has built up on his brow and the tears that gathered in his eyelashes have fallen. “Sorry, I’m sorry—”
“What are you sorry for?”
“It feels good, I swear, it just burns! Why is your dick so big?”
“I don’t— it’s not! I didn’t think— I’m average!”
“You are not average, Stupid-Yama!” He groans. After a moment to catch his breath, Shouyou cranes his neck. “Go back in.”
“Okay, I’m gonna just...” Tobio positions himself once more and tries to slide in slower than before. Shouyou isn’t crying out in pain, but he does look uncomfortable. Tobio is nearly ready to call the whole thing off.
He grips Tobio’s hand as tightly as he can. “If you go quickly—”
“I’ll tear you a second asshole. We have to go slow. I’m sorry,” his arms are shaking from trying to keep his dick from pushing in all the way. “I’m doing my best not to hurt you.”
“It’s okay, it feels good!”
With a nod, Tobio inches inside even more and goes back to sucking Shouyou’s neck. He hurts seeing Shouyou hurt, but Tobio also understands that it's the kind of pain that makes them both want to continue. He’s seen Shouyou push past a lot of pain over the years to get what he wants, and Tobio can’t blame him. He’s done the same thing.
Once his entire cock is inside of Shouyou, they both pause to catch their breath. Their hands are still connected, and Shouyou gives him a squeeze. Tobio kisses his partner passionately.
“I love you,” he breathes.
“I love you more,” Shouyou breathes back.
Normally the competitiveness inside of him would cause Tobio to bicker until his voice gave out, but he’s okay with losing today. With one arm wrapped around Shouyou’s waist and the other holding his hand, Tobio starts to thrust, finding a comfortable rhythm that is pleasurable for the both of them. Shouyou cries; Tobio screams. It feels incredible to be so connected to someone like this right here and now. It feels incredible knowing this will bond him and Shouyou for the rest of their lives.
The idea of having sex with Itome repulsed him. It also scared him, but mainly Tobio was distraught at the idea of having to have sex at all. It’s the biggest reason he didn’t pay attention in sex-ed or accept confessions from girls who all thought he was attractive. The only person he ever paid any attention to was Hinata Shouyou, and being in this moment makes it all worth it.
Tomorrow, Tobio will wake up alone, destined to repeat a day that has gone from horrible to tolerable. He’ll help as many people as he can. He’ll make his teammates feel appreciated. He’ll even tell Shouyou how much he loves him.
He’s finally learned to live in the moment, but most importantly, Tobio has learned how to love himself.
If he does ever manage to break out of this loop, he won’t be afraid of going to Tokyo anymore. He’ll conquer the move, and he’ll conquer the court.
You know, in an appropriate, respectful way.
They make love a few times that night. After the first time, it becomes easy, and Shouyou is more than happy to bear the brunt of being the bottom. Tobio promises next time he’ll do it, just so it’s fair.
The house is quiet when they fall asleep. Tobio’s bowl of unfinished curry sits on the kotatsu. The pot is still on the stove, cold and inedible. The shades are drawn and snowflakes drop down onto soft pillows of white below.
He is so goddamn grateful for Shouyou. Having his partner curled up next to him, his hair tickling Tobio’s chin, is enough to make Tobio cry. And cry he does.
Tobio went so long thinking he would never find someone who made him feel this way. He thought he’d get abandoned again by any friends or teammates he made. Shouyou showed him that true friends and teammates would stick by his side for an eternity, even if they weren’t living in the same place. Even when they’ll be halfway across the world, Tobio knows the two’s relationship won’t change.
Everything will be alright.
7:10.
Tobio blinks up at his ceiling and sighs. He could have guessed this would happen. It’s just hard considering what happened the previous day.
Someone sneezes next to him. Tobio turns to his right.
Shouyou is in his bed.
Holy fucking shit, Shouyou is in his bed!
Tobio jumps up, completely ignoring the fact that he’s naked, and checks the date on his phone. December 24.
The loop is broken.
“Oh my god,” he laughs, falling to his knees. Tobio runs a hand wildly through his hair and cheers loudly.
“Mm... Tobio?” Shouyou rubs at his eyes and sits up in bed. His bedhead is wild and his neck is covered in hickeys. Oops. Tobio totally thought the day would repeat. “You’re naked.”
“So are you, dumbass!”
“What are you yelling about?”
Tobio shakes his head and pulls on a fresh pair of underwear. “We’re late to practice.”
“We don’t have school today, remember? Tomorrow’s Christmas. We get the next three days off.”
Oh. That’s right. Tobio relived the 23rd so many times he forgot today was Christmas Eve.
He climbs back into bed and hugs Shouyou tightly to his chest.
“You’re in a good mood this morning.”
“I’m so happy you’re here. I just want to hold you all day.”
“Don’t your parents come back tonight?”
“Oh, yeah. They do.”
“We left... mmm... the curry out.”
Shit. “I’ll take care of it later.” A pause. "We might have to buy some concealer for your neck."
"Tobio, seriously?"
"I'm sorry! I was trying to distract myself! You yelling out like that make me scared I was hurting you!"
"Next time, I'm covering your neck in love bites."
"I suppose that's a fair trade." Tobio breathes in through his nose. “I’m not scared anymore, you know.”
“Of what?”
“Moving to Tokyo. I mean, I’m still a little nervous to play for a D-1 team, but I’m also excited.”
“You’ll be fine. You aren’t the same Yama you were three years ago. Everyone will love you.”
“You think so?”
“Mmhmm. And everyone in Brazil will love me too.”
His grip around Shouyou’s waist tightens. “Damn right they will.”
“And we’ll still see each other. Especially if,” he yawns, “we keep doing stuff like this.”
“Boyfriend stuff.”
“Yeah. Boyfriend stuff.” Shouyou yawns again and presses his face into Tobio’s bare chest. “You’re different.”
“You said that yesterday.”
“I’m having deja vu. I feel like we've done this before. Maybe in a different life." He smiles and kisses Tobio's knuckles. "At least... I’m here with you.”
“I love you, Shouyou.”
“Mm. Sappy-Yama.” Tobio cards his fingers through Shouyou’s hair. He waits, expecting this to all be some elaborate prank, but he’s here, with Shouyou, on December 24. Time will finally move forward.
He thinks Shouyou is asleep until the redhead’s voice surprises him. He feels a leg drape in between his own. “I love you too, Yama.”
It might have taken him a while to get to this point, but now he knows it’s certain.
Everything will be alright.