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He lags behind his parents, a plastic bag filled with fabrics that they bought from the market for his mother’s small sewing business swinging in the grip of his hand as they trace their way back to the village with the moon peeking behind thick, gray clouds. Taeyong loops the bag around his wrist so it won’t keep hitting the side of his leg.
“Luckily it wasn’t too hot today. It’ll be good for the crops.”
“But it’s going to rain tomorrow anyway, which means a muddy ground. And if it pours, it’ll submerge the field.”
“Taeyong,” his mother turns to him, beckoning. “Come here. Don’t be too slow. If you trip and fall, I can’t catch you.”
“I’m 15, eomma, “ he whines but scurries towards his parents anyway.
“And? You’re still a baby. Can’t you see how rocky the path is?”
Taeyong purses his lips, arms linking with his mother’s and father’s. He lets his mother talk about how much he is a crybaby—a simple scratch and he’s going to shed a tear, as he looks at the row of little houses from a distance.
They live a humble life in the countryside of Daegu. They don’t have much money, labor is exhausting, but as long as they are together, there is nothing else Taeyong could ask for.
His mother is rambling about what tomorrow awaits them when bright lights flash at them from behind. Taeyong turns his head and is blinded for a second before he catches a glimpse of a truck surging forward—too fast—and hears the scream of the driver.
Get away! The brakes are not working!
It all happens in a blink.
When Taeyong opens his eyes, the moon greets him. His own moans of pain come after, followed by the excruciating agony all over his body. The truck has toppled over to the side when he sees it, the driver rushing over to the two bodies a few meters away from him.
His parents—immobile, unhearing of his cries.
Even though every move only renews the ripples of indescribable ache in his body, Taeyong tries to get up. For a second he thinks he might be stuck in something until it dawns on him that he cannot move his legs. They do not seem to be broken yet he cannot move a muscle below his waist.
Tears quickly flow down his face as he sobs, calling his unconscious parents. The villagers then frantically crowd them as they scream from help.
It’s deafening. Taeyong cannot understand what’s going on. Hands are touching him everywhere, pulling at him, but no matter how much he tries, he cannot hold himself up. He falls for the third time and they don’t try anymore.
“They’re gone, Taeyong. They’re gone—”
He can’t believe it. They were just talking earlier, his mother was just teasing him, and his father was just right there, listening to his mother’s ramblings. And now, suddenly, people are telling him they’re gone. Dead. And he cannot even walk.
The last thing Taeyong sees before he loses consciousness is his best friend, Jaehyun, crying for him.
/
He’s chasing his own breath as his eyes snap open.
It has been 10 years since that fateful night, but Taeyong still dreams of it every now and then.
Sitting up in his small, single bed, he blinks groggily at the open window and hears the familiar and calming mix of the voices of his neighbors. Taeyong peels the blanket off of his legs and reaches for the wheelchair, feeling extremely sorry for himself as he deposits himself on it with a bit of difficulty as someone who had lost the ability to walk.
His legs are intact, but the doctor said that the only way for him to be able to walk as much as he used to was to get therapy. Unfortunately, Taeyong didn’t have the money. He had just become an orphan, and the wheelchair was his best shot at taking himself to places.
The house, which is basically a hut, somehow feels even smaller without his parents. But he has learned to accept his new life. If he remained depressed, he thought, nothing would happen. He too would disappear just like his parents.
Taking the small bucket next to his bed, he turns around and unlatches the lock of the door before wheeling himself out of the house, greeting the neighbors milling about.
“Good morning, Taeyong!”
“Good morning, Mr. Kim.”
“Need help with that?”
Taeyong politely declines and makes his way to the water pump where they can get clean water for drinking and bathing, as well as doing their laundry, and finds Jaehyun who is washing his feet.
His best friend is a farmer, just like the majority of the residents in the village.
“Jaehyunie!”
Hearing his own name, Jaehyun perks up and grins as he runs to Taeyong, acting like an excited dog seeing its owner after a long day. “Morning, Taeyong. Gonna make breakfast now?”
“Mm. It will be hot porridge for today.”
Jaehyun wordlessly takes the bucket from him and pushes him to the water pump. “I can do it—”
“Yes, you can. But I’m here, and I can just do it for you.”
Watching his best friend fill the bucket with water, Taeyong thinks about how lucky he is to have Jaehyun who has always been there for him. Without Jaehyun, he wouldn’t know how to start again. Jaehyun’s father took him in, and they both cared for him until he turned 18. After that, Taeyong returned to his family’s hut and received their support as he decided to pick up his mother’s sewing business so he could earn his own money.
Jaehyun and his father are only five houses away from Taeyong. He thought that after moving back to his family’s hut, that he would be doing things all by himself. But Jaehyun came over every single day to help him cook, clean and wash his clothes. His best friend would even stand guard in the opposite side of the makeshift curtain that concealed him as he bathed, shielding him from perverts.
‘No one’s going to be interested in me like that.’
‘You can never be too sure. At least I’m here to protect you. And don’t worry, I’m not looking!’
Jaehyun made things easier for him. Sans Jaehyun, sorrow would have been Taeyong’s companion. Sometimes he cannot avoid thinking that he might be an inconvenience to his friend, because honestly speaking, he is not Jaehyun’s responsibility. 10 years of looking out for him must be tiring. Still, he is relieved. Whatever happiness Taeyong has felt since losing his parents, it’s all thanks to Jaehyun.
He holds the bucket steadily on his lap as Jaehyun wheels him back to his house. “Don’t you need to go back to the field?”
“I do, but someone can continue raking the soil while I cook your breakfast.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Not after you scalded your hand the last time I let you make your own porridge. You need your hands to sew, right?”
Taeyong glances at his friend briefly and huffs when the water sloshes and spills on his lap. “Will you come with me to the market to sell the clothes? I’ll be done next week.”
“How many are you selling this time?”
“10! Five dresses for girls, and five t-shirts for boys. I think I’m getting better at it.”
Jaehyun smiles and pats his head as they arrive in his little hut, before taking the bucket from him. “You’ve always been good at it, but you’re still improving. Your mother would have been proud of you.”
Knowing that the other man is not going to let him near the stove, Taeyong picks up his notebook and continues sketching instead. He finishes drawing three new dresses when his stomach rumbles, mouth watering at the fragrant smell of his breakfast. “Is that done yet?”
“Just a little bit more, Your Highness,” Jaehyun teases while stirring the pot. “I’ll feed you.”
“What am I, a baby?”
“My baby.”
Flushing down to his neck, Taeyong playfully throws the pencil at Jaehyun. “Dumbass. Now pick that up for me since you want to be my nanny so bad.”
Cackling at his reaction, Jaehyun returns him the pencil. “What are you planning for your birthday?”
“Eh?” He didn’t even realize that June is almost ending. “Um, I really don’t know. You always do the planning, so I thought we should just do it like we usually do. Eat with some of our neighbors after they sing me happy birthday.”
Jaehyun deems the porridge good to eat and grabs a plastic bowl, as well as a spoon. “Well, something about turning 25 is kind of special to me, so I want yours to be special, too.”
“Nothing ridiculous, please. Like dressing up with a theme. The only thing I have is that clown mask that appa got me for my 12th birthday, and sadly, I was not born on Halloween.”
The porridge is steaming hot as Jaehyun serves it to Taeyong, reminding him to be careful. “Speaking of dressing up, the rental shop is gonna get busy again. I just know Mr. Park is going to rent the same old jacket and wear it to the dance.”
“Just like his wife.”
The Annual Couple Dance is a small festival in their village that the association organized many years before. Outsiders can go if they want, and couples of all ages are welcome. Sometimes, the young ones who are the same age as Taeyong and Jaehyun take it as a chance to find someone to date.
Taeyong takes his first spoonful of porridge. “Are you going…?”
“Of course not. Just like before, we should just play some board games here. I’ll bring snacks.”
“That must be boring. We’ve been playing chess over and over again.”
Jaehyun sits on the bed with his own bowl of porridge, and nudges the wheel of his chair. “Nothing is ever boring with you.”
Taking another spoonful of his food, Taeyong hides a little smile as he eats. He’s never been to the festival because his parents said he was too young to go, and then the accident happened. And Jaehyun, being the caring best friend that he is, swore to be with Taeyong instead, because—
‘There’s nothing better than spending time with the person most important to you.’
Parking the pickup at the foot of the hill, Jaehyun pokes his head out the window. “That would be a perfect picnic spot up there.”
“You sure there won’t be a lot of people?”
“It’s not a popular picnic site, but I heard the view is going to be beautiful. What is it…?”
Taeyong sees the concern on his best friend’s face and begins to fidget. “I can’t walk. And it’s hard to push my wheelchair up that steep hill.”
Calloused fingers gently card through his hair. “I’ll carry you, okay? Cheer up.”
Sighing, Taeyong gives Jaehyun a small smile before opening his door as Jaehyun gets out, and quickly locks his arms around the other for Jaehyun to easily lift him. “Are you going to carry me all the way up?”
“What’s the use of putting you in a wheelchair?” Jaehyun grabs the picnic basket and kicks the door close.
“Then why did you ask me to bring it?”
“Because we’ll be going around the area later. There’s a pretty fountain behind the hill, and they say you can make a wish if you throw a coin.”
Holding on to Jaehyun tightly, they climb up the stone path. The sun is hiding today but it’s not humid, and when they see nobody as they reach the top of the hill, Taeyong’s uneasiness finally ebbs away.
“Okay, I won’t doubt you anymore.”
Jaehyun snorts in amusement and carefully puts him down so he can spread the blanket under the shade of a tree. Taeyong scoots to it, then together they fish everything out of the basket: a pile of egg sandwiches, apples, a carton of juice, and two paper cups.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Taeyong looks back at Jaehyun and scans the place. The ground is covered in green, healthy grass and tall trees are scattered all over. Buildings from downtown Daegu can be seen from afar. “As far as I know, there’s a temple nearby. We should drop by for a sec and pray for a better harvest this year.”
“Remember when we attended a mass one time with our parents, and the choir stopped singing when somebody farted?”
He unwraps the sandwich that Jaehyun made and takes a bite. “It was that kid sitting in the same row, right?”
“I think I can confess the truth now. It was actually me.”
They stare at each other in complete silence for a moment before they burst out laughing at the same time. Taeyong doubles over, slapping his thigh. “What the hell?! It stank so bad!”
Jaehyun wipes the tears collecting in his eyes. “That’s why I didn’t say anything and just let you talk shit about that kid.”
“You’re a punk!”
“That time, I thought you wouldn’t hang out with me anymore if you knew it was me.”
Taeyong’s laughter subsides to a giggle. “What kind of thinking was that? Everybody farts. Did your papa know?”
“He scolded me when we got home. Said I shouldn’t disrupt the mass like that. Did you see that one family who left because it smelled like a pile of two-week old garbage?”
“You’re so annoying,” Taeyong says, putting his sandwich down so he can pour the juice in their cups. He hands one to Jaehyun, and sighs when the latter wipes the corner of his mouth. “I dreamed of it again.”
Jaehyun’s smile drops. “That night…?”
“It’s like the world doesn’t want me to forget. As if my jelly legs aren’t reminding me enough.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Everyday. Sometimes I don’t feel anything particular about it, and I kind of feel guilty? Did I already move on? Does it not matter to me anymore? In a way, I don’t want to move on because I feel like I’m going to completely lose that connection with my parents if I ever stopped dreaming of it.”
Warmth covers his hand. Taeyong looks down as Jaehyun locks their fingers.
“You know that you deserve to be happy, right? That it’s what your parents would have wanted, too. For you to forget the past and live normally even without them.”
“I suppose I’m just not ready yet.”
“There’s no rush when it comes to things like this.” Jaehyun gives him an apple, thumb caressing his hand. “I’ll sleep at yours tonight if you want. Hold your hand so you won’t dream of it again. It worked last time!”
Taeyong chuckles. “Maybe it was just a coincidence.”
“But I think I’m your dream fairy.”
“Dream fairy.”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I’m sure it will work! I’ve never questioned myself even once.”
It tugs the corners of Taeyong’s mouth to a prettier smile. “So you never thought twice about being friends with a cripple? Thought that you shouldn’t be nursing a handicapped guy without pay?”
The hold on his hand tightens in a comforting way. Jaehyun’s gaze becomes serious as it meets his. “You make it sound like I don’t want to do this. I’ve never stopped wanting to be friends with you just because of what happened. I won’t have this any other way.”
Face prickling with embarrassment, Taeyong looks away and bites a chunk of the apple.
His heart beats erratically with unadulterated affection for Jaehyun. He’s been irrevocably in love with his best friend for as long as he remembers, and he believes himself the luckiest for falling for someone as good as Jaehyun.
They finish their food and stay there until the clouds parted ways for the sun. Together they make a wish at the fountain, and visit the temple to pray for a blessed year before finally going back to the village.
When the night comes, Jaehyun stays with him. Kisses his forehead and holds his hand, and Taeyong falls asleep easily.
He doesn’t dream of the accident.
Sweat drips down Jaehyun’s neck as he fills a sack with cabbages. He then ties it close once it’s full and loads it to the back of his pickup, returning to the cart to help another farmer get the task done faster.
“You going to the Annual Couple Dance?”
He looks at Jiyeong as he rips a sack open. The man is a year younger than him, and they’re not very close but they work well together. Jaehyun recalls that Jiyeong’s family moved to the village five years ago. “I’ve never been to the festival, really. Are you?”
“If I found a nice suit to rent.”
“You have to bring a date, though. Or just look for one there.”
Jiyeong hums, tossing a cabbage into a sack. “I have someone in mind.”
Jaehyun glances at one of the ladies at the field that he had seen talking with Jiyeong the other day. He’s probably going to ask her.
“Jaehyunie!”
It’s as if all the fatigue has been sucked out of him as he sees Taeyong. Jaehyun waves both of his hands wildly, and feels his heart drop as one of Taeyong’s wheels dips into a pothole. He runs to his best friend in panic and pulls Taeyong’s chair back. “I told you not to get too close to the edge!”
Taeyong pouts, tugging on his sleeve. “Sorry, I was just excited.”
“About what?”
“I’m done with the clothes and ready to sell them! So can I go with you to the market?”
“Sure.” His heart calms down as he takes a look inside Taeyong’s bag. “These look pretty nice.”
“I know, right.”
“Are you okay?” Jaehyun lifts his head. He didn’t even notice that Jiyeong followed him. “You’re not hurt anywhere?”
Taeyong scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m alright. Are you working with Jaehyun today?”
Jiyeong nods firmly, grinning. “We’re loading the cabbages on the truck.”
“Then you’re coming with us?”
“I can do it alone,” Jaehyun says before Jiyeong could respond. “Plus we’re staying there for a bit since we need to sell the clothes Taeyong made.”
“Oh, alright. Good luck with it, then!”
Taeyong looks at him when Jiyeong goes back to the cart of cabbages, putting a hand over his eyes to block the sun. “What time will you be done here?”
“We need to empty the carts today, so it might take another half an hour. But as soon as I’m done, we can go to the market.”
Taeyong scrunches his nose. “Not if you’re going to smell like sweat.”
Smirking, Jaehyun raises an arm and threatens to shove Taeyong’s face to his pit.
“You’re gross!”
He cackles and turns Taeyong’s chair around. “But you still like me. Go back and wait for me to get you, hm? It’s too hot out here.”’
Jaehyun finishes the task in under 30 minutes and drives to the local market with Taeyong. He helps his best friend on the chair after unloading the cabbages, and takes him to the side of a rice stall, where Taeyong was given permission by the vendor to sell his clothes.
When he gets some extra money, Jaehyun wants to rent a small stall for Taeyong.
They have been doing this for years since Taeyong learned to make clothes. Bring them to the market where a lot of people could take a look at Taeyong’s work and purchase them if they are interested. It buys Taeyong food and sewing tools.
Jaehyun is proud of him. He is happy that Taeyong is still able to work even with his disability. He will always put whatever he is doing aside to bring Taeyong to the market, no matter how important his work is. He wants to be the first one to see that smile on Taeyong’s face when Taeyong successfully sells all the clothes. He wants to be there whenever Taeyong records another accomplishment.
“Don’t stretch the sleeve like that. And I think it’ll be better if the pink dress is in the middle.”
“What difference does it make?”
“I think it just looks better that way.”
Listening to Taeyong, he switches the pink and yellow dresses and finally perches the cardboard with the prices of each item, then sits on the small stool next to his friend. It’s a good thing that they’re under the shade of the stall’s roof. When the vendor heard about Taeyong’s situation, he didn’t even charge them for using the space next to the stall.
The first hour passes. People stop to look at the clothes, asking what material they are made of, only to put them down and leave. And it’s only normal, since there’s a store inside the market that is known to sell clothes too.
As the second hour strikes and there are still 10 clothes before them, it crushes Taeyong’s spirit.
Jaehyun taps Taeyong’s shoulder. “We can come back tomorrow if we can’t sell everything today.”
“Do you think I’m getting sloppy?”
“I think you’re just worrying too much. You have 10 clothes here, and you’re bound to sell one or two today. And like I said, we can come back tomorrow.”
Taeyong grips the hem of his shirt. “What if I don’t sell everything?”
Rubbing his hands on his thighs, Jaehyun looks at the clothes. They actually look better than the ones in the thrift store, and he thinks Taeyong should price them higher. “If you need to buy something, I can lend you some money first.”
Taeyong frowns at him. “Don’t do that. I don’t want to owe anyone money, that’s why I’m working. You and your dad already helped me a lot, and your obligation with me ended when I moved back to our house. You weren’t supposed to have an obligation with me in the first place.”
“I just want to help.”
“Lending me money, or giving it to me because I know you won’t take it back, makes me feel like a beggar.”
Jaehyun stutters, and bites his lip with a sigh. “Sorry, Yong. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just want to make sure you won’t be short of money. Sure, we have a budget, but I have something saved in my piggy bank. I told you before, right? That if you need something, I’ll gladly help you in any way I can.”
Looking down at his feet, Taeyong mumbles. “I know…”
“That’s what friends are for. We never leave the other behind. We go through hardships together.”
“You don’t have to go through this with me.”
“Who said that?” Jaehyun playfully rubs his forehead on Taeyong’s shoulder, poking his ticklish best friend. “But I mean it.”
He pinches Taeyong’s cheek and leaves to buy something for them to eat. When he gets back, Taeyong is smiling so hard while folding some bills. “Somebody’s giddy.”
“I just sold a shirt! You’re my lucky charm!”
“Hell yeah, I am.” Feeling smug, Jaehyun sits down and tears the bag of egg tarts open before lifting a piece for Taeyong to eat. “So don’t ever get rid of me.”
Filling the plate with rice and curry, Jaehyun puts it on Taeyong’s bed together with a glass of water. “Should I sleep over again?”
Taeyong raises a brow. “If you say it’s to stop the bad dreams, then you might as well move in with me.”
“…That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”
“Are you insane? You’re really gonna leave your dad alone?”
Jaehyun shrugs and folds Taeyong’s wheelchair, putting it to the side. “My dad doesn’t get nightmares. And he doesn’t really care when I sleep here.”
“Go home,” Taeyong says as he blows on the rice. “Thank you for accompanying me at the market today.”
“You’re welcome. I might take longer at the farm tomorrow, though.”
“It’s fine! I’ll wait.”
“Alright.” Jaehyun fights the urge to stay as he opens the door. “Be careful of washing the plates. Good night.” He drops a kiss on Taeyong’s head. “To chase the bad dreams away.”
With a heavy heart, he returns home. One thing he hates the most is leaving Taeyong alone at night. Should he really consider moving in with him? His father would understand, right? Jaehyun worries about Taeyong all the time. What if something happens when he’s asleep? Taeyong can’t easily defend himself.
He stops at their door and looks at Taeyong’s house one more time to tell himself that his friend will be fine tonight, he doesn’t need to sleep over again, before getting inside.
His father is folding their clothes in the small living room. “Appa, I told you to take a rest instead.”
“Ha! And you expect me to listen to you? Did Taeyong get the food?”
“Mm. I gave him a lot since he’s certainly tired today.” Sitting on the floor with his father, Jaehyun helps with folding. “There are still six clothes left to sell so we’re going back to the market tomorrow. And I haven’t gotten the receipt from Mr. Shim for his cabbages yet. Only his assistant was there.”
“Why did you only sell four clothes?”
“It’s slower this month. There’s already a store with a bigger selection than Taeyong’s so people are going to check that out instead. I told Taeyong that we should try going somewhere else, or he could supply clothes to that store.”
His father nods, listening.
“I’m thinking of making carrot soup for dinner tomorrow. Taeyong needs something hot to warm his stomach before sleep. Oh—there’s this ingredient that wasn’t in the local market, but surely it will be available in the city. Maybe I should go downtown.”
“When are you planning to?”
“Not this week, no. I got stuff to do at the farm.”
“What I mean is, you should consider moving to the city. Work and live there. You can’t stay here all your life, Jaehyun. You’re only 25. There’s so much more waiting for you there. And you’ll find someone to settle down with in the city.”
“…I won’t.”
“Surely, you will. Try to look for someone at the Annual Dance.”
Jaehyun puts the folded shirt on top of the pile, tonguing his cheek. “I won’t, appa. I won’t go to the dance, or to the city to look for someone to settle down with because I’m not interested in that. And Taeyong will not be there, so I won’t have any reason at all.”
No reason at all to look for someone to fall for because he already found the one he wants to be with forever. That one April day 17 years ago, he found the boy he wanted to spend the rest of life with when Taeyong asked him, the new kid in the village, to play hide n’ seek at the field.
“Taeyong this, Taeyong that,” his father grumbles. “I don’t understand why you won’t go if he’s absent.”
“It’s just something I’m not interested in.”
Since Taeyong lost his parents, Jaehyun made it his life mission to always be with Taeyong. And he’s not about to change that.
His father waves dismissively. “You will change your mind. I heard the neighboring village is thinking of going this year. You’ll meet a lot of people there.”
What a stubborn old man. Not wanting to argue with his father, Jaehyun keeps quiet. He’s determined not to go because he won’t enjoy it without Taeyong.
Jaehyun continues folding clothes and thinks about the way Taeyong’s eyes always widen comically whenever he kisses him good night.
Does Taeyong have any clue that Jaehyun loves him more than a friend should?
The simple celebration takes place in front of Taeyong’s hut, a yearly tradition that Jaehyun began on his first birthday after losing his parents. There’s a small cake on the table at the center, and a few dishes for the eight guests.
He stopped Jaehyun from cooking a lot since he never had a lot of friends anyway. His best friend asked the people he invited instead to bring whatever they could so they could share it with everyone else.
Over the years, the people that came to greet Taeyong dwindled. These eight guests – Jaehyun, his dad who went home early, and the six others were the closest to Taeyong’s family so it wasn’t disappointing to lose the ones that stopped celebrating with him. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that Jaehyun is there because Jaehyun is the one that makes him the happiest.
What will you do once this stops? Once Jaehyun realizes he’s doing too much, and that he doesn’t want to make you happy anymore?
Imagining a birthday without Jaehyun, a life without his best friend makes him feel something akin to the pain when he got discharged from the hospital and it sunk in him that he will never see his parents again.
“Alright!” Jaehyun stands up. “It’s time for today’s highlight!”
Taeyong blinks in confusion as everyone lines up. “What’s going on?”
“A birthday won’t be complete without the gifts, right?”
“What…? Oh no, you shouldn’t have bothered!”
Jaehyun grins. “But they want to give you something. Okay, let’s start with Mr. Kim. Taeyong, try not to cry, okay?”
Halfheartedly, he glares at the cheeky farmer before meekly looking up at Mr. Kim, who had been his father’s closest friend.
“Happy birthday, Taeyong. I’m an old man, but I still went to the market to find the perfect gift for you. Here you go.”
Taking the fan, Taeyong opens it and smiles as he traces the painted flower design.
“It gets really humid during the summer, so I thought a fan would be great if you’re outside.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kim…”
Jaehyun claps. “Yay! Thank you Mr. Kim for the nice gift! Alright, Mrs. Cho, it’s your chance to give Taeyong what you got for him.”
The woman laughs as she steps forward. “Happy birthday, dear. I don’t know what you like, but I thought this was very cute when I saw it at the bargain store.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate everything, even if it’s a bag of rice.” Taeyong giggles and unwraps the gift.
A snow globe, with a tiny couple inside carrying a bundled up infant.
“Do you like it?”
He shakes the globe and watches the tiny glitters fall over the little family. Mrs. Cho is looking at him with glassy eyes, and he nearly chokes up. “I love it. Thank you so much.”
She was the one that convinced Taeyong’s mother to start sewing and selling clothes. Taeyong will treasure her gift forever.
It goes on until the last person. Taeyong receives a set of plate, spoon and fork, metal chopsticks, a new bath towel, and a pair of socks for winter. Only do they decide to go when the food is gone and the wind is getting chillier.
“Thank you for letting us celebrate with you, Taeyong. And thanks to Jaehyun for inviting us over. He takes really good care of you, doesn’t he?” Mrs. Cho pats Jaehyun’s shoulder. “He will make a good husband.”
Taeyong’s ears burn. “E-eh?! Good husband—this man is a little shit—oops, sorry for the word, ma’am. This punk teases me a lot, though!”
Jaehyun cracks up and bids them goodbye, before helping him clean up.
Putting his gifts in the chest with his clothes, Taeyong steals a glance at Jaehyun who is whistling while sweeping the floor. He can’t get what Mrs. Cho said out of his head.
“I think this is my best birthday so far.”
Jaehyun smirks, looking at him. “Really?”
“All of the gifts will be helpful to me. I’ll put the snow globe next to my pillow so I can look at it before I sleep.”
“So you won’t need me to chase the nightmares away with my kisses anymore?”
How does Taeyong tell Jaehyun to keep kissing him anyway even with the bad dreams gone? “I never told you to do that.”
Jaehyun puts the broom away and sits on his bed. “Is it okay if I still give you good night kisses?”
“…Don’t you think it’s childish?”
Something flashes in Jaehyun’s eyes, and vanishes as soon as it appeared. “It’s one of our best friend customs. You used to give me good night kisses too when I was new here and couldn’t sleep well.”
Taeyong smiles at the memory. Though they’re the same age, Jaehyun used to cling to him and believe anything he said much like a little brother. “Thank you for making my birthday memorable again.”
“I—”
Three knocks interrupt Jaehyun.
“Who is it…?”
Jiyeong is standing outside when Jaehyun gets the door. “Hey, you need something? It’s pretty late.”
“Just gotta give this to Taeyong.” The man steps in only to hand a thin box to Taeyong, and steps out again. “Happy birthday!”
“Oh, thanks a lot…”
“I couldn’t come because of errands, but I’ll try next year. Have a good night, Taeyong. You too, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun closes the door as soon as Jiyeong leaves. “I didn’t even invite him.”
“Hm?” Taeyong looks at his best friend’s crumpled face, turning the box over. “You saying something?”
“N-no? I was just murmuring to myself. Anyway, I have something for you.” A tiny box wrapped in red silk is placed on Taeyong’s lap. Jaehyun smiles softly. “I can’t let this day pass without giving you my gift.”
Without even opening Jiyeong’s gift, Taeyong picks up Jaehyun’s with his heart beating abnormally fast. He unwraps the little thing carefully, afraid to tear it, and takes a thimble out of the box.
“It’s probably the cheapest out of all the gifts you got today, but I thought I should get you something you could use for work. Don’t want you to hurt your hands.”
Taeyong puts it on his index fingers. “My hands have a lot of scars…”
“Because you’re such a hard worker.” Taking his hands, Jaehyun places a kiss on each palm. “For extra protection. Good night, Taeyong. And happy birthday.”
“G-good night…” Taeyong faces his bed as soon as Jaehyun closes the door, and screams into his hands.
Taeyong puts his pencil down and picks up his notebook. If Jaehyun approves of this, he will be selling skirts soon.
The ground is damp and muddy because of the rain last night. Taeyong foregoes bringing an umbrella and goes to the field, eager to show Jaehyun his new sketch.
Mr. Kim stops walking as he arrives at the field, carrying a winnowing basket full of potatoes. “Taeyong, why are you out here? It might drizzle again.”
“I’m just looking for Jaehyun. Perhaps you’ve seen him?”
“Ah, I think he brought the remaining sacks of cabbage to the market.”
“Is that so? Okay, thank you Mr. Kim.” Taeyong sighs and pockets the paper before turning around, planning to go home and just wait for Jaehyun who will surely visit him anyway.
He doesn’t notice the pothole. Because of the rain the previous night and the drizzle this morning, the hole has been filled with muddy water. One of his wheels gets caught in it, and due to the slippery road, his chair tips over.
Taeyong is unable to keep himself from falling.
He falls down the side of the field, and hits his knee against a protruding rock.
“Taeyong!”
Hearing his name, Taeyong bites back a whimper as he pushes himself up. Mud sticks to his clothes as his knee bleeds profusely. “Shit…”
“Taeyong!” Jiyeong squats next to him. “You’re injured—are you hurt anywhere else?”
“Um, I think I just cut my knee. Can you please get me my chair…?”
The slightly bent wheel proves that he cannot use his wheelchair in the meantime. Jiyeong helps him up, curling an arm around his waist to support his weight. “I’ll take you to the clinic. We can borrow one of the trucks.”
The dull sting on his knee is nothing compared to how pathetic he feels at the moment. “What about my wheelchair…?”
Jiyeong asks Mr. Kim, who has also witnessed what happened, to take his wheelchair back before carrying him towards one of the trucks parked near the field.
“I—I think I should just clean this.” Taeyong wants to get down. Why is someone other than Jaehyun carrying him? “It’s not that serious.”
“But it’s bleeding, see? And unless you have the things you need to do to keep it clean, then the clinic is your best choice.”
Taeyong doesn’t want his wound to be infected. If it gets worse, then Jaehyun is going to worry about him. He keeps himself from crying as they head to the clinic. As soon as they get there, the nurse lets him seat on the chair and disinfects his wound, wrapping a bandage around his knee.
With some wet tissues, he wipes the mud off of his arms and legs, and apologizes to the nurse for dirtying the chair.
“It’s okay. Things like this always happen. We don’t blame patients for the things they cannot help.Can you move your leg for me? Let’s see if it still hurts.”
She must not have understood why he was being carried inside when they arrived. Taeyong balls up the tissues and throws them in the bin beside him. “I can’t walk, ma’am. I’m a cripple.”
The nurse winces. “I’m sorry. But does you knee hurt?”
“A little. But I don’t think it’ll persist the whole day. Thank you for cleaning and covering it.”
She puts the roll of bandage back in the kit and gets up. “I will give you something you can take in case it stings overnight so you can sleep comfortably. Feel free to stay until you’re ready to go.”
“Thank you,” Taeyong whispers as she walks away, tugging on the towel that she wrapped around him to keep him warm. “And you too, thanks for taking me here…”
Jiyeong shakes his head, arms crossed as he leans against the wall. “No problem. You gave me quite the scare there, though.”
The guilt in his chest burgeons. He doesn’t want to be a problem to someone else. “You can go back first. I’ll find a way to go home. Maybe they have a wheelchair I can borrow.”
“Everyone saw what happened so they will understand if it takes me a while to get back.”
“…Fine.”
“After this, I should probably drop by at the market.” Peeling himself from the wall, Jiyeong pulls an extra chair and sits close to him. “My mother works there, selling pork meat. My father is in downtown Daegu as a utility worker.”
Taeyong nods slowly, absentmindedly fiddling with the corner of the towel. “Come to think of it—I have only seen your father a few times since your family moved to the village.”
“He has another job at night, so it’s better for him to stay there as much as possible. I don’t really know what he does this time, but three months ago, he was part-timing at a 24-hour mini market.”
“How old are your parents?”
Jiyeong seems pleased that he is curious. “Younger than most in the village. They had me when they were barely even 20.”
“Oh. Won’t you…follow your dad in the city? I bet the pay is better there. You might find a nice job.”
“I will. Everybody wants to be in the city, you know. There will come a day that only a few people will still be in the farm village.”
Jaehyun might go away too, and he can’t bring you with him while he works on his own future. You’re only going to hinder him.
Taeyong shuts his thoughts off as he accepts some medicine and a bottle of antiseptic solution from the nurse.
A series of heavy footsteps then barge into the clinic.
“Taeyong—” Seeing his bandaged knee, Jaehyun saunters towards him in large strides and grabs his hands. “What happened?”
Fear radiates from Jaehyun. Taeyong recovers from the shock of seeing his best friend here, and shakes his head. “I just fell and hit my knee. How did you know I was here?”
“Mr. Kim told me you got hurt, and that I should fix your wheelchair. Are you ready to go now? Are you sure you only hurt your knee? How much should I pay?”
“Don’t trouble yourself with it,” Jiyeong chimes in, announcing his presence to Jaehyun who seems set on pretending he’s not there. “I already paid earlier.”
“I won’t call it trouble.” Jaehyun smiles at him, but Taeyong can tell it’s sarcastic. “I’ll do anything for my best friend. Come now, Taeyong. Get on my back.”
Taeyong drapes himself on Jaehyun’s back as the latter crouches, glancing at Jiyeong as Jaehyun scoops his legs and stands.
“Actually, I brought one of the trucks. We can go back together.”
“Don’t trouble yourself with it.”
The tension is so thick that a knife could cut through it. Taeyong assumes that his best friend is just anxious about what happened, and smiles apologetically as Jiyeong before resting his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder.
“Why were you outside?” asks Jaehyun as they leave the clinic.
“I wanted to show you my new sketch.” Taeyong waits for Jaehyun’s questions, but nothing comes so he keeps quiet until they get to his house.
His best friend helps him change his clothes. Jaehyun soaks them in a basin with detergent before checking on the wheelchair, turning the wheel from side to side.
Taeyong grimaces as Jaehyun tugs at it hard. “Be gentle. I can’t buy a new one yet.”
“I’m literally fixing it.”
He’s fine now. The worst that will happen to his knee is a few bruises and a scar. Nothing new, nothing more horrifying than his defective legs. But it seems like Jaehyun is still irritated at something.
“Why are you pissed?”
Jaehyun looks at him. “I should’ve been there for you. They asked me to take the cabbages to the market when it was supposed to be someone else’s turn. And now—” Jaehyun pauses, gritting his teeth as if chewing words he cannot say. “Are you even friends with Jiyeong? You should’ve just asked Mr. Kim to take you to the clinic.”
“…He was the one that ran to me first.”
“Then you should’ve asked him to bring you home. You could’ve just waited for me. We’re best friends, Taeyong. I promised to take care of you—”
Taeyong hangs his head low. “But you can’t always be there for me.”
“…That’s not true. I don’t break my promises.”
Sniffling, he raises his pinky, and sighs shakily as Jaehyun completes the pinky promise.
Jaehyun puts the wheelchair down and sits on the bed with him. “May I see what you drew…?”
Unlocking their pinkies, Taeyong fishes the paper out of his picket and unfolds it. “It’s a skirt.”
Jaehyun’s face brightens. “You’ve never sewn a skirt before. What if you make 10 of them this time? You’ve never sold them before, so people are most likely going to buy something new.”
“Okay.” He forgets about the thought of Jaehyun abandoning him. “In different colors?” Grinning, Taeyong asks for the notebook and his crayons, coloring his sketch while Jaehyun watches.
Winter is still a few months away but Taeyong is already preparing for it by practicing making beanies. He has already knitted two, one for Jaehyun and one for his friend’s father. It’s nothing extraordinary, a basic round hat that he hopes will keep their owners warm during the cold season.
Bringing the beanies, he heads to Jaehyun’s house. He’s about to knock on the door when it opens.
“Hey! I was just about to bring you dinner. Appa made Jjajangmyeon.”
“I still have leftover from lunch, but thank you. By the way,” Taeyong hands the paper bag to Jaehyun. “I just wanted to give these to you and your dad.”
“What’s this? Hold on—why don’t you eat with us instead? Appa, Taeyong is here!”
Taeyong wheels himself inside and greets his friend’s father. “Good evening, uncle!”
“You’re just in time, Taeyong. We’re about to eat, so join us instead. It’s better to eat with others. Jaehyun, move your chair over so Taeyong can have more space for his chair.”
“Thank you…” Taeyong gets to the cramp table at the corner with Jaehyun’s help, licking his lips at the sight of the black bean noodles. “That looks good!”
Jaehyun sits between him and Mr. Jeong, taking the beanies out of the paper bag. “You made these? Appa, we can change our beanies now!”
“I don’t think it’s as nice as the beanies you’re using. But I’m thinking of selling some once the winter season begins. What do you think?”
“Looks cool! I’ll wear it!”
“Thank you, Taeyong. It’ll be very helpful.” Mr. Jeong puts the beanies back in the paper bag. “Let’s eat now?”
Taeyong waits for them to take a bite first before eating. “This is so good!”
“Right? You can take some home since appa made a lot.”
“Is that alright…?”
“Why not?” Mr. Jeong pushes the bowl closer to him. “Eat as much as you want. You’re too thin.”
It’s been a while since Taeyong had Jjajangmyeon. Happy to be eating well, he slurps his noodles nearly non-stop, until he notices the blooming bruise on Mr. Jeong’s cheek. “Oh—uncle, what happened to your face?”
Jaehyun eyes his father, unamused. “He got in a fight at the market with a vendor who tried to scam him.”
“He thought he could trick me. I knew I handed him 10,000 Won. I might have poor eyesight but I can still tell the difference in the bills—they don’t even look alike!”
“So…it ended in a fist fight?”
Mr. Jeong looks embarrassed. “…I flipped his vegetable stand and then I slipped on a banana peel. This is the outcome.”
Taeyong startles as Jaehyun guffaws, hitting the table. He stifles his laughter since Mr. Jeong looks like he’s ready to disown his son.
“Stop laughing, you’re disrespecting me in front of Taeyong.”
Jaehyun wheezes. “But I thought you didn’t want anyone to know what really happened—”
“Taeyong asked. Did you want me to lie?” Mr. Jeong huffs and grumbles under his breath as Jaehyun finally behaves. “Which reminds me—I passed by the rental shop earlier. Have you picked what you’re wearing to the Annual Dance? If you haven’t yet, then go early in the morning tomorrow.”
Taeyong slowly puts his chopsticks down. Did he hear that right…? “You’re going?”
“Appa, I already told you—”
“Are you going, Taeyong?”
He looks at Mr. Jeong, then back at Jaehyun. “Well, I can’t. For a lot of reasons. Jaehyunie, you didn’t tell me you’re going.”
Jaw clenching, Jaehyun side-eyes his father. “I’m thinking about it.”
“He is,” Mr. Jeong confirms.
His best friend is glaring at the food. Taeyong goes back to eating, but suddenly, the dinner is no longer as savory as earlier.
Jaehyun has never gone to the Annual Couple Dance before. What made him change his mind? Does he not want to spend the night at Taeyong’s anymore? Play some board games?
Sensing Jaehyun’s annoyance, he must not have wanted his father to let Taeyong know. Perhaps he is taking someone to the festival?
Mr. Jeong gets up and taps Jaehyun on the shoulder before going outside. A second later, Jaehyun follows, leaving Taeyong alone at the table.
“Really? Pressuring me in front of him?”
Jaehyun’s father asks him to close the door. “I was planning to talk to you again about leaving the farm. I didn’t know Taeyong was coming over.”
“It’s not about that. But even so, I really don’t have any plans to leave the village. Not anytime soon, appa. Taeyong is here. He needs me. And even if he doesn’t, I’m staying to take care of him.”
“Stop thinking about him for once, will you? He’s 25. Can’t you see he can live just fine by himself? Without you? He’s just crippled but he’s not bedridden. And if that’s what’s stopping you from moving to the city to have a better life, then you should get rid of that burden.”
Gripping the chopsticks, Taeyong’s vision blurs with tears. The word—burden—echoes in his ears. Is that what everybody in the village that lends him a hand thinks of him? A burden? An unnecessary weight on their shoulders?
Quickly, he inhales his food. Wipes his eyes dry and wheels himself to the door, looking at the startled father and son as he pulls it open. “Uncle, Jaehyunie, I’m done eating! I was really starving so I hope you don’t mind that I continued eating without you. I suppose I should go home now. I didn’t lock my door, so…”
Jaehyun steps behind him. “I’ll take you home—”
“I’m literally five doors down, Jaehyun.” Taeyong hopes that his tone didn’t seem cutting. “Thank you for the food, uncle. It was really good.”
Mr. Jeong nods, expression unreadable.
Holding back his emotions, Taeyong says good night to Jaehyun and goes home to let his pillows catch his tears.
Jaehyun knocks on the door. “Taeyong, are you awake…?”
“…I am. I’m sketching. Why?”
“Have you had breakfast yet?”
“I’ve been up since 5, so yes I have. What do you want?”
“Nothing,” Jaehyun says, because he really doesn’t know what to say. “I just—it’s such a nice day. I thought you might wanna go back to the hill? Have a picnic again?”
“Don’t you have work? And I don’t really feel well.”
Why won’t Taeyong open the door and talk to him properly? Why do they have to keep talking like this for the past three days?
“Are you sick?”
“No, I just don’t feel like going out.”
“…Alright. I’ll just see if I’m needed today at the field. See you later?”
Jaehyun stares at the door and waits just in case Taeyong comes out. A minute passes before he understands that he’s not going to see his best friend today.
He feels like Taeyong is avoiding him. And for what reason? When he tried to recall if he ever said or did something, Jaehyun arrived at nothing.
He tries again. “I’m going to the rental shop later. Do you want to come with me?” No response, unsurprisingly, but he hears the creak of Taeyong’s wheelchair so he knows that Taeyong didn’t suddenly pass out or anything.
Hands curling into fists, Jaehyun heads to the field.
“Hey, Jaehyun.” Jiyeong approaches him. “How’s Taeyong’s knee?”
“Still a knee, what do you think?” Snatching the rake off the ground, he walks away to do his job.
/
Taeyong wrings the cloth and wipes his face. He feels guilty for ignoring Jaehyun, and at the same time upset with his best friend. He can’t stop thinking about Jaehyun going to the Annual Dance without telling him. Not like Jaehyun should, but he promised they would be together that night. And Jaehyun said he didn’t break promises.
Nevertheless, the yearning conquers his sadness. Taeyong misses Jaehyun so much. He should just go out and tell Jaehyun that he could accompany him to the rental shop. Maybe Jaehyun would tell him who he’s taking to the festival. Either that, or he’s planning to meet someone there. Someone he will be happy to bring with him to the city to start a new life.
Taeyong hears his own heart break.
He finds Jaehyun dumping rocks at the side, and stops before he falls victim to another pothole. “Jaehyunie!”
Always delighted to see him, even more now that he stopped hiding, Jaehyun drops the rake and runs towards him. “Taeyong…?”
Smiling a bit, Taeyong squints up at his best friend and chuckles as Jaehyun puts a straw hat on his head. “I’m a little bored, so…does the offer still stand? Can I still go with you to the rental shop?”
“Of course! Should we go now?!”
Jaehyun looks so excited that it hurts. “After whatever you’re doing here. I’ll go home first, maybe nap for a bit. Wake me up if you—”
“Hi, Taeyong!”
He takes note of the obvious change in Jaehyun’s mood as he greets Jiyeong back. “Hello there…”
“Are you okay now?”
“Mm. It was just a shallow cut.”
“That’s good! Listen, um,” Jiyeong rubs his palms nervously. “I’m planning to go to the Annual Couple Dance. If you’re free, it would be really nice if, you know, we could go together.”
Taeyong fails to get a word out momentarily. “Are you…asking me to—”
“Be my date to the festival.”
Jaehyun is staring hard at something over his head. “Um, I guess, I—”
“He can’t go with you.”
Jiyeong looks at Jaehyun. “Huh?”
“Are you that dumb? Can’t you see he can’t walk? He can’t even stand, let alone dance. And you’re still asking him to come to the festival with you?”
Taeyong reels with disbelief as Jaehyun belittles him. Seething, he turns his chair around and wheels himself back home.
Jaehyun steps inside the house after him. “Why are you here?”
“Taeyong, I just—”
“You just what?” He’s shaking, eyes stinging. “Are you going to say sorry for ridiculing me? So what if I can’t walk? So what if I can’t dance? So what if I can’t even stand? If I want to go to the festival, then I will!”
“But why would you? You will just feel out of place there!”
“Because I’m disabled?!”
“Because I don’t trust him to look after you!”
Taeyong scowls. “I don’t need a babysitter. Do you think I can’t go out there by myself? Don’t you realize how unfair you are? You can change your mind about going to the dance without telling me but I can’t?!”
Jaehyun’s shoulders sag, visage mellowing. “I wasn’t planning to go—”
“But you are going now and I don’t understand why you won’t let me!” Tears stream down Taeyong’s face. “If you can do anything you want, then so can I and I don’t need permission from you! If I want to crawl on the way there then I will! Aren’t you happy that you don’t have to hold yourself back for me anymore? That I’m trying not to be a burden to you anymore?”
Jaehyun’s brows furrow. “A burden? Since when did you become a burden?” His eyes widen as he remembers. “Taeyong, you’re not—”
“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Taeyong…”
“Please leave.” Angrily wiping his tears, Taeyong slams the door shut as Jaehyun walks out and pushes himself off the chair to get to the bed.
Insecurities pull him underwater. Everyone has their limits, and Jaehyun has probably reached the end of it. But why won’t Jaehyun allow him to try to learn how it feels to live without him if he’s going to leave Taeyong soon?
Taeyong bows in apology. He can’t even look Jiyeong in the eyes. “I’m really sorry for what happened, and for taking too long to talk to you. I didn’t have the courage to face you.”
“It’s fine, it was nothing! Perhaps he was jus having a bad day? But regardless, I don’t think it was right for him to say that about you. The festival is not just about dancing. It’s about getting to know people. You could do that while on a wheelchair.”
He doesn’t hate Jaehyun for stating the truth about his condition, but Taeyong’s insecurities have been eating away at him. He feels small, and he doesn’t want people to look at him with judgement, wondering why a cripple is at a dance feast.
“…About that, I have thought about what you asked, but I don’t think I’ll go. I’m really sorry.”
Jiyeong’s face falls. “May I ask why?”
He will not enjoy himself if he sees Jaehyun with someone else.
“You know what,” Jiyeong speaks again, “it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. If you don’t want to go, then you don’t have to. Thank you for being honest.” The man smiles reassuringly and opens the door. “Anyway…I should probably go now. I still have work to do, so. See you around?”
Taeyong doesn’t see him around, or anyone for that matter as he stays cooped up inside of the house again for days, having no energy to interact with people. While he’s at it, he busies himself with sewing because wallowing in sadness won’t pay for his food and other expenses.
/
He’s running out of rice, so he should probably go to the market soon. Jaehyun has always been the one to do that for Taeyong, sometimes even paying for it but now that they’re not talking, Taeyong has to ask someone else to give him a ride to the market. If no one is able to, then he will go alone. He’d done that before. A car nearly hit him, but he will be more careful now.
The plate slides out of his grip as he washes it, breaking into pieces as it hits the floor. “Shit—” Taeyong picks them up one by one and unluckily nicks a finger.
He supposes he should change the water in the basin if he’s going to wash his hands. Taeyong disposes of the broken plate and puts the basin on his lap before exiting through the back door to check if he still has enough water in the bucket.
“Um…”
“OH MY GOD.” In his panic, Jaehyun drops the bucket he is using to refill Taeyong’s and takes a step back. “Look, I just thought I should do it so you don’t have to go to the water pump tomorrow.”
Taeyong’s heart aches. He wants to reach out and hold Jaehyun, but he is still bitter about the fight. Annoyed, he spills the water on the ground and takes the basin back inside, shaking his head as Jaehyun follows. “What are you still doing here?”
“I want to talk.”
“But I don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
Seeing the unmistakable pain in Jaehyun’s eyes, Taeyong averts his gaze. However, Jaehyun is determined to gain his forgiveness as his friend kneels before him.
“Even if you’re sorry, you can’t take your words back anymore.”
“Taeyong, please hear me out. I’m really, really sorry, okay? I don’t like this. I don’t like fighting with you and not talking to you. It’s killing me.”
“It should be for the better.” Taeyong keeps his gaze on Jaehyun’s chest, afraid that he will crumble if their eyes meet. “Being with me only slows you down.”
Jaehyun takes one of his hands and gently presses a finger down the little cut on his thumb. “Don’t say that. You must have heard a bit of what appa and I were talking about and believe me, I don’t agree with him. You’re not a burden, Taeyong. I want to be here with you. I like taking care of you, doing things for you. Not once did I feel like you’re holding me back or slowing me down, that I can’t do what I want to do because of you. What I want to do is to be with you every single day. Do you know that?”
“T-then why…why did you say that to Jiyeong about me? Were you mocking me? I just can’t believe that you, of all people, would say that. It’s bad enough that I feel sorry for myself. I didn’t need to know what my best friend really thinks of my stupid legs.”
“Taeyong,” Jaehyun pleads, kissing the back of his hand. “I’m sorry for what I said. I was just—there’s no excuse for hurting you, but I just…I didn’t want you to go with him. I have no right to stop you from going to the festival, I have no right to tell you who you can go with, but---but I was so fucking jealous, okay?”
His breath stutters, wide eyes locking with Jaehyun’s.
“I’m in love with you and I just couldn’t picture you with someone else. If you were going to the festival, I wanted you to go with me. I wanted to ask you to go with me.”
“…What?”
“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for so long.” Jaehyun cups his cheeks, thumbing away the tears he didn’t even realize were already trickling. “Why are you crying…?”
“I—” Taeyong can’t hear his own voice over the sound of the pounding in his ears. “I only wanted to go because I was upset that you weren’t going with me, and I wanted to have fun too. But I…I turned him down because I didn’t think I could bear seeing you ask someone else to dance. Because I love you too.”
“Wait—are you serious?”
Taeyong nods and pushes himself out of the chair, falling pitifully on Jaehyun’s lap with a sob before hiding his face in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck. A pair of arms wrap around him, holding him dearly. “I was so scared of you leaving me one day, and I thought you were already trying to get rid of me by going to the festival without letting me know…”
“Appa kept pressuring me, and I only agreed so he would stop bugging me. But I was thinking of asking you out, Taeyong. I was just…waiting for the right time ‘cause I’m a coward. I was scared of the thought of you rejecting me.”
“Do you really?” He pulls back and looks at Jaehyun, pearly tears hanging on his lashes. “Do you really love me?”
Jaehyun smiles and kisses the apple of his cheek. “I do. And I promise, Taeyong. I’m not going anywhere. I will always choose you no matter what.”
“What if you want to leave the village?”
“I will only leave if you’ll leave with me. I can’t see myself anywhere without you.”
Taeyong grips Jaehyun’s shirt. This feels like a fever dream, and the best one he’s had in a while.
“I can’t dance.”
“I’ll make it possible.”
Jaehyun stands before him to adjust his black bow tie, giving him a little smile. “You look breathtaking.”
Breathtaking is not a word that Taeyong would normally describe himself, but since finding out about Jaehyun’s feelings for him, he suspects that Jaehyun might be seeing another version when he looks at him. A better Taeyong, someone that has captured his best friend’s tender heart.
“My hair is getting longer,” he says, touching the ends of the strands that are shy of touching his shoulders. “I should have gotten a haircut.”
“Do you want me to snip a few inches? Or do you not trust me with that?”
“…Maybe we should just tie it up?” Taeyong giggles with Jaehyun and hands him a black hair band.
Jaehyun managed to snag a suit from the rental shop but it was the last pair available, so Taeyong just took a jacket and a shirt, as well as a pair of shoes, and sewed his own pants with the help of Jaehyun who took his measurements. It turned out fine, albeit cheap-looking. There’s nothing he can do about the latter since it is the only type of fabric he can afford at the moment.
Taeyong touches the little ponytail once Jaehyun is done. “Do I look weird?”
“You look like the love of my life.”
“Stop that.” His heart will not be able to take if Jaehyun keeps looking at him like he is the reason there is life. “We’re already late.”
Jaehyun pecks the top of his head and wheels him out of the house, locking the door behind them.
The festival is located past the fields. Everyone is already jamming to the merry music—old and young, married and dating, in their chosen formal attires. The association prepared snacks and drinks laid out on a long table at the side that they can have anytime they want.
Spotting Jiyeong all alone looking at the variety of food, Taeyong frantically tugs on Jaehyun’s hand.
Jiyeong turns to them as if sensing their arrival.
“Err…”
The man looks between Taeyong and Jaehyun for a second and shrugs. “I knew something was going on between you two. Glad my failed attempt to ask Taeyong out gave you that much needed push.”
“We didn’t need it.” Jaehyun wheels Taeyong next to the table. “You just thought you could ask before I could.”
Keeping a polite smile on his face, Taeyong discreetly pinches the back of Jaehyun’s hand as Jiyeong leaves, telling them to have fun at the festival. “Try to be nicer to him next time.”
Jaehyun’s face scrunches. “He wanted to steal you away!”
“He didn’t know you were pining for me!” Huffing, Taeyong turns to the snacks and picks up a chocolate bread. “What do you want to do now?”
“Eat with you while wearing a nice suit.”
Taeyong sticks his tongue out and fills two cups with orange juice from a jug as Jaehyun takes a chocolate bread for himself.
They’re content with watching the villagers dance as they hog the food stand while exchanging jokes about packing half of the snacks home. Nobody is going to notice anyway. Everyone is in their own world, and Taeyong and Jaehyun are in theirs.
A lady in a sparkly dress, long black hair braided on the sides approaches them, her eyes set on Jaehyun.
“Uh, hi. I’m Boram. I’m from the next village, and it’s my first time joining the Annual Dance. I really don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, so…would you like to dance with me?”
“Sorry, I have a date.”
“You do…?”
Jaehyun takes Taeyong’s empty paper cup and puts it on the table. “This pretty guy right there is my boyfriend.”
She looks taken aback. Taeyong can’t fault her, and feels a little bad as she apologizes in embarrassment and walks away.
“You could have danced with her anyway. She didn’t want to be alone.”
“And have my first dance with someone other than my boyfriend? No way.” Right then, the music changes. From a loud, chipper tune to a slow, romantic tempo. Jaehyun holds out his hand towards him, eyes gleaming. “Shall we?”
Taeyong swallows a lump. “I told you I can’t…”
But Jaehyun is having none of it. Swiftly, as he’s been doing it for the past 10 years, he carries Taeyong out of the chair and makes their way to the center.
“Jaehyun!”
“Shh, you’re going to ruin the mood.” Carefully, Jaehyun puts Taeyong down—aligning each foot on top of his before locking both arms around Taeyong’s waist to keep him from falling. “Hold on to me, darling.”
Taeyong does, because that’s all he can do. He may be thin but he still got weight on him, and he wonders if Jaehyun’s feet are hurting. No one bats an eye at them as he scans the crowd, so Taeyong tries to relax. “You’re insufferable.”
“And you’re too beautiful.”
Only you, and you alone can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you.
“I’m happy.” Taeyong gazes into Jaehyun’s eyes, lips trembling as he pushes the words out without breaking down. “More than happy. I wish I could describe it more accurately. I know we can’t…do a lot of things because of my legs, but…thank you anyway. Thank you for being with me, and for choosing me.”
There is so much love in Jaehyun’s eyes that Taeyong is drowning in it. “If you want to go somewhere, I’ll be your feet. I’ll take you anywhere you want. Anywhere, Taeyong. Even if it’s as far as the moon, because that’s what soulmates do.”
Taeyong is beside himself with affection. He leans in before he could second-guess it, and presses his lips against Jaehyun’s.
And maybe it’s just his mind playing tricks on him but he swears that as Jaehyun kisses him back, he can feel his legs buckle. He’s never felt anything in them since the tragedy.
“I love you.”
Jaehyun presses one more kiss on his lips, and gives him a smile that makes his heart skip a beat. That is what he will call breathtaking.
“And I love you too. Only you.”