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Generals Kenobi and Skywalker and their respective legions were all packed aboard Plo Koon’s star destroyer, returning from a joint mission with the Jedi general concerning the Separatist siege of yet another planet in the Outer Rim. As all three teams were meant to squeeze into rather tight quarters, Master Plo had assigned multiple men to each bed in the barracks, and stuck each general and their clone commanders in the few private single-bed rooms. Nothing to do with hierarchy, of course - the troopers simply had much more experience sharing space with each other than their Jedi generals.
Commander Rex made his way to the mess hall after a brief post-battle check up in the med bay. Spotting Cody and a handful of 212th troopers chatting at a table on the far side of the room, Rex crossed over to them, slid his tray beside Cody’s and settled in.
“Cody,” he nodded at him.
“Rex.” Cody bumped his elbow into his amicably as he continued eating. Rex’s eyes caught on a bandage on Cody’s temple.
“You alright man?”
“Oh, yeah, just got knocked around a bit that’s all.” Cody shrugged. Rex nodded at him and turned to take a few bites of his dinner, Cody getting back to his conversation with the others. Rex waited for a pause to clear his throat.
“General Skywalker had, um, a request he wanted me to pass on to you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Or a suggestion?” Rex shook his head. He was more than used to taking unorthodox orders from his general, but although he had agreed to pass it on he didn’t understand the point of this particular personal request. “He says he’s not a great person to share sleeping quarters with. He moves around a lot and talks in his sleep and everything.”
Cody cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting for the part of the problem he could do something about. Rex continued with a sigh.
“He says he’s had to share a bed with General Kenobi on missions before and knows the general is a heavy sleeper and it doesn’t bother him at all. I guess he’s used to it. So, General Skywalker thinks it would just make more sense for you and I to take his room, and for him to bunk with General Kenobi.”
“Right.” Cody thought it over for just a minute. It was a bit odd, but he supposed there was no reason not to. “Well you know it makes no difference to me, I don’t mind switching rooms, if that’s what the general wants.”
“Alright. I’ll let him know.”
Cody smiled and nodded once, turning back to his food as Rex did the same. After a few moments of comfortable silence Cody turned back to him, mouth half full.
“So they’re probably gonna fuck, right?” he said casually.
“Oh, almost definitely.” Rex replied, not looking up from his meal.
-
Obi-Wan turned down the sheets on the twin-sized bed and shed his outer robes, folding them onto a small table in the corner. He checked his chrono and frowned, raising his comlink to call Cody when the door to the room slid open.
“Good evening, Master.” Anakin said with a smile.
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows, although a visit from Anakin was never much of a surprise, and certainly not unwelcome.
“Evening, Anakin. Have you seen Cody?”
Anakin’s smile faltered slightly. “I actually - I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t think you would - I asked Rex to get him to switch rooms. So I’m actually in here tonight.” He slid his pack off his shoulder and held it up before tossing it on the bed.
“Oh?” Obi-Wan asked, tone curious and ever so slightly suggestive, crossing his arms in his typical Obi-Wan way.
“Yeah, I…” he trailed off, dropping his show of nonchalance, “Well, you know how I can get in the night. And. I don't need Rex to see me like that.” Obi-Wan stepped closer to him
“It’s still that bad?”
“Sometimes it’s okay for a while.” Anakin started slowly, and sat down on the far edge of the bed, turned away slightly. “But it never really gets better…and I always expect it to get worse after a mission like that one.”
Obi-Wan knew what it meant. It wasn’t just the night terrors, the images that replayed on a torturous loop in his mind, so viceral Obi-Wan could feel them through the Force. The feeling of falling, of skin scraped raw, the sound of a good man’s dying breaths crowding your ears. It was more than that for Anakin. It was a streak of guilt woven into the fabric of who he was, that hung on him, smothered him at times. He never could accept the war as a helpless situation; Anakin had a parasitic belief that if only he could have his own way with the Separatists, if only someone would let him do something about it, the war could be over tomorrow. Frustration turned this guilt to pathetic, writhing anger. An anger he’d grown to fear.
“I understand.” Obi-Wan said gently. He knew that Anakin knew it would only ever be half-true, but he hoped it offered the smallest bit of comfort. He sat down next to him on the bed and Anakin suddenly felt especially vulnerable at the proximity.
“If it’s really not okay with you I can go get Cody, I’m sorry, I just assumed-”
“No! No, of course it’s alright Anakin. You are more than welcome to stay with me.” he brought his hand around Anakin to rest on the small of his back, feeling the muscles tense. “I should have said that first. I’m just concerned about you.”
“I’m sorry, Master. You know I would control it if I could. It’s embarrassing. That’s why I didn’t want Rex to know.” Anakin stood up and let Obi-Wan’s hand fall from his back. “I’m an adult, a general, a mentor, a leader - and I can’t even control these stupid- these, mental attacks that should have gone away once I hit puberty.” His hand was rubbing his forehead and he had begun to pace in the small room.
“Anakin. Anakin-” Obi-Wan stood and stopped him with a hand on each shoulder, firm but not aggressive. “There is nothing to be ashamed of. This is beyond your control. I know you hate to hear it but it’s true. And that is okay . It has no bearing on your maturity or skills as a leader.” His hands slid down Anakin’s arms to take his hands in his. “It is human to be affected by the things that have happened to you. The things that keep happening to you, the things that will probably not stop happening to you for quite some time.”
Deeper still, under the anger, Obi-Wan knew there was pain. Anakin’s craving for vengeance was born from the pain of every fallen friend. Obi-Wan knew this pain as well, sat with it, released it into the Force as often as he thought to, even vented Anakin’s out through their bond. But the well of pain in Anakin ran too deep for Obi-Wan to bail out. Anakin added his own casualties to the list; his mother and countless other slaves across the galaxy in known locations, suffering pointlessly. Everything around Anakin told him his childhood was in the past, that it was over. But he lived with the consciousness that it was still going on every moment, somewhere out there. It was just happening to another helpless, angry little boy.
Anakin looked at him and sighed, letting his shoulders finally relax. He swept his thumb over the back of Obi-Wan’s hand.
“I know. I wish…I wish it weren’t beyond my control.” his brows drew together and he looked away, “It shouldn’t be.”
“A preoccupation with control is a path to the Dark Side, young one.” Anakin began to roll his eyes but Obi-Wan cut him off with a chuckle before he could complain. “-Oh you know I had to say it, it’s my job.”
“It was your job,” Anakin reminded him with a small smile. It was Obi-Wan’s turn to roll his eyes as he gathered Anakin into a tight hug. He had one arm around the taller man’s shoulders and the other hand tangled in the curls at the back of his neck, fingertips moving soothingly. Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s waist and held them in a fist behind his back. Obi-Wan spoke against his neck.
“Really, darling,” he knew Obi-Wan was serious when he broke out the pet names, “radically accepting what we cannot change is not just necessary for being a Jedi, it is something that keeps us from falling to despair. And I’m not talking about the Dark Side.”
Anakin knew what he was talking about. He held onto his lover even tighter. He did listen to Obi-Wan when he said things like this, and it wasn’t as if Anakin didn’t try to do as he said every time. He tried to let go, for Obi-Wan. And if he couldn’t let go he could pretend. For Obi-Wan Anakin could pretend they were just two sad young men thrown by fate into an impossibly desperate situation, and that the only thing they could do is hold each other. Is to let himself be held. For a moment he could pretend that was enough. But only ever for a moment.
“Things have been so difficult for you,” Obi-Wan was murmuring again, “ever since you were a child-“
“Thank you, Master.”
Anakin released him, rubbed his eyes that had begun to itch with unshed tears, and swiftly began to undress to his underclothes. Obi-Wan stayed where he was standing, watching him with his mouth open, hands ready, visibly thinking of what else he could say or do to apologize for the line he had crossed-
“I get it. I do. Thank you.” Anakin met his gaze and sent reassurance through their bond, a brief warm pulse. “Can we sleep now?”
Obi-Wan dropped his hands and sighed. “Yes. That’s a good idea.”
-
Anakin slept for three hours before he was woken up by hands on his chest, in his hair, lips against his shoulder and calming warmth flowing through the Force. Then he realized he was still screaming. As he stopped and started to breathe again, his flesh hand found Obi-Wan’s and he turned to face him.
“I’m- I’m sorry Mast- Obi-Wan, I-”
His former master simply shushed him and held Anakin’s hand up to his lips to brush them against his knuckles. “You’re safe. I’m right here, Ani.” He watched his quiet words sink into him as his face relaxed.
“It was you.” Anakin whispered, “This time… it was you.” He closed his eyes like he was seeing it all again, another shiver rippling over his skin.
Obi-Wan soothed a hand over his chest like a Force suggestion to calm his breathing. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
“I know.” he sighed after a moment and met Obi-Wan’s eyes again. “It was Dooku and I… it’s like I wasn’t even there, I couldn’t…” he huffed out a frustrated breath when he noticed tears falling down his cheeks.
“It’s alright.”
No more words was whispered into their bond, as Obi-Wan kissed Anakin’s forehead, down his temple, softly, slowly. He brought an edge of the soft blanket up to wipe at his face and replaced it with his lips against his hot red cheeks. Anakin turned his head slightly and let their lips slot together perfectly. They exchanged kisses while Obi-Wan’s hand moved from his face to his neck, to trace down his arm until he finally laced their fingers and squeezed their hands together. He gently broke the kiss, turned over and wrapped Anakin’s arm around him, bringing it into his chest, against his heart.
In these moments, Obi-Wan knew Anakin would rather hold him than be held himself. It helped him feel less vulnerable, less helpless. Like there was something he could do . He might not be able to stop the war, or end slavery throughout the galaxy. But for right now, he could protect the one he loved. He could tuck his head into Obi-Wan’s neck, feel his steady pulse beneath his lips as his own heart began to beat in sync, surround his Force signature with his own and know that there is nothing and no one in the universe he would ever let hurt him.
“Although…” Obi-Wan added, when their eyes had closed and sleep was within reach. “I am a bit insulted you don’t think I could take Dooku alone.”
That earned a watery laugh from the younger Jedi, and Obi-Wan felt his smile against his skin as they both drifted off again.
-
The next morning the pair was late for breakfast, walking into the mess just as Rex and Cody were leaving. The troopers stopped to give them both a casual salute.
“General.” Rex nodded at Anakin, “General.” he nodded at Obi-Wan.
“General.” Cody nodded at Obi-Wan, “General.” he nodded at Anakin.
Anakin smiled at both of them. “Good morning Rex, Cody.”
“Did you sleep alright, sir?” Rex asked. The generals noticed how Cody gawked at him for a fraction of a second before turning his eyes to the floor.
Anakin frowned. He hadn’t been expecting Rex to comment on what he had told him the day before, but he supposed it was considerate of his friend to ask him. “I’ve had better nights, Commander.”
He was confused when Rex appeared to be stifling a laugh, and he looked between himself and Obi-Wan, who was pinching the bridge of his nose in what read like embarrassment. Cody simply turned away from them.
“Sorry to hear that, sir.” Rex said with a tight smile.
Anakin returned his smile, somewhat awkwardly. “Thanks. Well, have a good day off, Rex.”
“You too sir.” he said a little too loudly, and continued walking out of the mess hall behind Cody. Obi-Wan sighed and Anakin’s face was still tense with confusion as they made their way to an available table.
After a couple minutes of sitting in silence, Anakin’s brow unfurled as realization dawned on him.
“They think we fucked, don’t they.”
Obi-Wan laughed so suddenly it made him jump. “Almost definitely, my dear.”