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He probably should have just kept walking. No, he definitely should have. Just like everyone else out on the semi crowded sidewalk in this forsaken AU. Though maybe that was one of the reasons he had stopped… Because no one else would. This AU was fucked up like that. Not the darkest he’d been to, but it was definitely up there. These people didn’t care about anyone but themselves. No one cared that the small, weak sound of a baby crying was coming from some cold, dirty alley in the city. No one would step outside their lane or put their neck out. Even for a child.
But Cross wasn’t one of them. And now he was here. Staring down at the ramshackle remains of what used to be someone’s little shelter. To the right was a pitiful construction consisting of a few milk crates, some damp cardboard. A few moth eaten blankets were shoved inside as if they might provide any level of comfort. To the left was a shopping cart, stuffed to the brim with what was likely everything that this person had owned in the world. These things weren’t what drew Cross’ attention, however.
It was the baby.
The infant was tiny, swaddled up in what looked to be the softest blanket there. Which wasn’t saying much at all, given the state of everything else. They were crying, voice cracking and so very, very tiny. Babies were supposed to be louder than that, weren’t they? But then again, they were also supposed to be held and kept warm by a loving parent… Not nestled in a pile of dusty clothes in an alley that smelled of garbage and rot…
Cross shouldn’t have stopped walking. He shouldn’t have come back here. Because now he found himself unable to move away. It had been a secret he’d held tightly to his chest; the fact that he wanted a baby. Mostly because he’d never considered the possibility of having that shameful wish granted. Cross hadn’t been made to have babies. He’d been made to follow orders. And it had taken him an embarrassingly long time to realize that. To learn that XGaster had taken that option away from him.
And after his world, after he’d joined Nightmare in his fight against the Stars, it had simply never come up. Sure, he was closer than ever with his ‘boss’. He’d even go so far as to say he loved the negative spirit. But kids? He very much doubted the thought had ever crossed Nightmare’s mind. Their lives were dangerous after all. The castle was no place for the pitter patter of tiny feet, no matter how badly Cross longed for it.
The soft crying gradually faded to quiet whimpers and whines, the bundle squirming a bit until a tiny hand poked out of the blanket. Fragile little black boned fingers grasped at the air before they curled into a little fist and jerked back towards where the baby’s face probably was. Cross’ soul squeezed in his chest. It was the tiniest little skeleton hand he had ever seen in his life.
Before he even made the conscious decision to do so, he was dropping to his knees and reaching for them. They were so small. So light. It barely felt like he was picking up anything at all. He cradled them close to his chest and adjusted the blanket to see their small, round face. Their sockets were shut tight as they whined, but that did nothing to stop the big purple tears from pouring down their cheeks. Atop their little skull sat a pair of fluffy black ears, a match for Cross’ own white ones, although a bit floppier. He couldn’t tell if that was due to their age or breed, but it was adorable.
It was like they were meant for him. They were a dog hybrid, just like him. They shared his magic color. And their bones were the same beautiful dark hue as his chosen mate. (Even if he wasn’t entirely certain that Nightmare had chosen him back. He thought he did, but Cross could never be absolutely sure. He was afraid to ask.) They couldn’t have been more perfect if he had carried them himself. They were like a gift from the multiverse.
Or at least that’s what he told himself as he stood up with the tiny (so, so tiny) baby in his arms, his tail starting to wag behind him. He shifted the blanket a bit and was able to see that the little one was naked. The poor thing was so cold. Absently, he noted that the baby was a little girl.
The baby whined at the feel of cool air on her bones and Cross quickly wrapped her back up and held her close, bouncing her just a little as he went a step further and tucked her into his coat where it was warmer.
This was so stupid… He was doing it anyway.
“Shh. I got you. I got you, baby, it’s ok. Everything’s gonna be ok.” He cooed to her, voice softer than he could ever recall it being. He turned on his heel and strode out of the alley, leaving the remains of her previous parent and their shoddy little home behind. They might have tried their best, but their best hadn’t been enough. Cross would do better. He was determined to do better.
“Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s got you.”
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The first thing Cross did when he got back to his little hide away was feed her. Which was, honestly, over simplifying the struggle he went through to actually do that. She was so tiny he didn’t want to chance a bottle let alone some kind of baby food. He didn’t really feel like he had the luxury of time to go shopping for such things anyway. His baby was weak, barely squirming at all and letting out such reedy little cries that it made his soul physically hurt. No, he didn’t have time to go buy anything, she needed food now .
So it made sense to him to do like mothers do and summon a chest for her to feed from. The first obstacle he had expected was being able to make milk, but he needn’t have worried. Apparently just picking up a baby and wanting to feed her was enough to get his hormones going in the right direction. He might have been embarrassed about that if not for how grateful he was. At least his monster biology was good for something .
The next problem had been his clothing, the straps getting in the way and being overly difficult to undo with just one hand. He’d whined at the prospect of putting his baby down for any length of time, but eventually he’d had to admit defeat. He didn’t want to risk dropping her for such a stupid reason. As he laid her down on the bed he’d probably fussed more than she had, nuzzling against her and promising he only had to set her down for a minute. Just a minute.
He’d made reasonably quick work of his uniform after that, shedding the straps and coat and then, after a moment of deliberation, shedding his sweater as well. It would have been uncomfortable to just roll it up where it would need to be. As much as the thought made him uncomfortable, maybe he would have to consider a wardrobe change. He didn’t want to have to take everything off every time his baby needed food.
Oh well. He’d never really liked his uniform anyway. So what if it was one of the last things he still had from his old universe? He had a baby now and he needed to think about her needs first. (Unlike XGaster he was going to be a good dad. He would love his baby. He would make sure she’d never have to question that. He’d do anything for her, even if it might hurt… Just a little bit.)
“Ok, baby, come here. There there, Daddy’s got you.” He hummed gently as he picked her back up. Without his shirt on, however, he was able to fully take in just how uncomfortably itchy the blanket she was wrapped in really was. Sure it had been the best he’d seen in that alley, but the best, in this case, was still pretty bad.
He grimaced. No. Not for his daughter. She deserved much better than scratchy blankets.
He took a moment to lay out his jacket before transferring her to that, then he wrapped her snuggly in the much softer and warmer material. “There we go. That’s better, huh?” He smiled down at her and picked her up to hold her close to his chest. She didn’t seem to calm her fussing at all, but that was probably because she was hungry. He didn’t want to think about how long she might have been lying in that alley, all alone and starving, before he’d found her.
“Here. Let’s get some food in you.” His breasts were a little heavy and he found it sort of difficult to find a comfortable position where he could hold her and she could reach what she needed to. Even then, though, it seemed like she didn’t quite know what to do with the nipple in front of her face. It took some coaxing. Enough that he was starting to get frustrated with himself. (Was he even doing this right? Was he messing up already? He’d only just got her! She needed him to do this right!)
Finally, after some trial and error (begging and pleading) and squeezing a bit of milk out himself, she seemed to catch on. He let out a long sigh as she latched on and began to suckle, blinking away the sting in his sockets that threatened to become tears.
“There. There we go.” He laughed a little shakily, relieved. “That’s a good girl. Eat up. As much as you like.” He pet a hand over her tiny skull, watching as her little hands curled against him. She smacked at him a bit, like she couldn’t quite control what her limbs were doing, and he chuckled at her.
“A little fighter, huh? I bet Killer’s gonna like you.” Killer… The thought had his smile slowly falling from his face. What would Killer think of her? What would any of them think of her? He hadn’t really paused to let himself think about it yet.
What would Nightmare think of her?...
“They… They’ll all like you.” He said, trying to sound hopeful. “Probably… H-hopefully…”
Stars, what was he doing? He’d only just started to feel like he might belong there. Like he might actually have a place among the guys. Like Nightmare wouldn’t dump him back in his old universe at the slightest misstep. And now he wanted to ask for something this big ? They would be well within their rights to kick him out on his tail.
But… That would be the worst they might do, right? They wouldn’t… Hurt her? Or try to take her from him?
He held her just a little closer, protective.
“They’ll like you.” He said firmly. “But if they don’t… They will! But… I-if they don’t… I’ll protect you.” He promised, gently rubbing his fingers over her tiny skull. He thumbed over one of her ears when they twitched, the floppy appendages so soft under his touch. For a long time, the room was filled with only the sound of her gentle suckling. Until the silence was broken by his shifting against the bed. He moved to lay back against the pillows, getting a little more comfortable, careful not to jostle his baby or tug free of her hungry little mouth.
He decided not to think about what may or may not await him back at the castle, starting to hum a little tune for his baby to distract himself.
The mission he’d come to this AU for was a simple one. Just a recon mission to check this place out and assess it for possible future use. He’d already been here a few days and gathered enough information that he was sure Nightmare would be satisfied. But maybe staying another day or two wouldn’t hurt. According to his intel the people who owned the little apartment he was crashing in weren’t due back for at least another week. He could afford to put off going back. At least for a little bit.
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Babies, it turned out, needed a lot of stuff. And it wasn’t exactly clear what things were necessary and what things weren’t. Of course he would spoil his baby as much as he could, he didn’t want her to want for anything at all. He had more than enough money, as easy as it was to get during raids and other such missions, but when he’d walked into the store cheerfully named ‘Babies R Us’ he’d immediately been overwhelmed by just how much was there and how many options there were for every single thing.
Walkers, strollers, high chairs, play sets, cribs, toys, clothes, teethers, binkies… There was just… So much. And everything came in different styles and prints and shapes with various extra functions. For the first few minutes he’d simply pushed his cart along in a daze, his baby still wrapped comfortably in his jacket and napping against his chest. It felt weird to not be wearing it himself, but he could easily push down that small discomfort for her.
But maybe a baby blanket would be better.
It was a place to start at least, so he found his way over to that section, eyes catching on this and that adorable thing along his way there. At one point he passed a stuffed animal display and his eyes fell on a little black octopus. It was soft and plump with big purple eyes and a little U for a mouth. He stared at it for a moment. Then he added it to the cart.
Necessities, he told himself. He needed to focus on the necessities. For now at least. As much as he wanted to get her every adorable baby thing in the store, he was only staying in this AU temporarily. He’d have the chance to get a lot more for her once he got home. (Hopefully. Don’t think about that right now.) But it wouldn’t hurt to get her at least a toy or two. As long as he could fit her things into a baby bag (or his inventory… Or his overnight duffel….) then it should be fine.
He ended up picking out several soft blankets, unable to choose between them. They were all incredibly soft to the touch and there were many soft colors. His favorite was a pale violet blanket with little stars cut into the downy softness. If his baby wasn’t sleeping so soundly still, he’d have wrapped her in it right there in the store. As it was, however, he didn’t want to disturb her. She seemed pretty comfortable as it was either way.
The blanket section was right next to the clothes, so he decided to pick out a few things for her from there next. It hit him, then, as he was looking over the teeny tiny onesies just what he was doing. He was baby shopping . Because he had a baby . His soul felt like it swelled up in his chest and the sudden well of emotion made his sockets sting. As he ran his fingers over the tiny clothes his tail wagged behind him, fast and happy.
He had a baby. He was a daddy. This was something he’d wanted so badly, for so long, and had never even entertained the idea of actually getting it. Yet here he was, thumbing through a rack of some of the tiniest clothes he’d ever seen with the intention to walk out of the store with them. For his baby. His daughter .
He’d have to get his giddiness out now. While he could. If he went back to the castle feeling like this he was bound to make Nightmare sick. That thought was enough to slow his tail. (Don’t think about going back to the castle. Not yet.)
He picked out several onesies for his baby. If he thought it was cute then it went in the cart. Which meant a lot of clothes went into the cart. He wasn’t sure how old she was or what size she would need, but he figured he’d just get a few different sizes and if anything was too big then she could grow into it. And no, he definitely did not cry over how small the newborn clothes were… Much…
The baby bag was a much simpler affair to pick out. This was something that would be more for him and his convenience than for his baby, so he just picked something that looked sturdy and had plenty of pockets and space for all of her things. And if it happened to be white with black accents then that was just a pleasant happenstance.
Then it was onto the hard part of picking out everything else that he might need…
After cleaning spit up from his shoulder after feeding her earlier, he knew he needed spit rags. So he grabbed a pack of those immediately. But after that? What all did she need? Did she need teethers yet? She was a skeleton/dog hybrid, so she already had all of her teeth, even if they were a bit soft right now, so maybe not? Would she need teethers at all? Probably. Even Cross still had the urge to chew on things from time to time, so she’d probably want to chew sooner or later. He just wasn’t sure if she’d need them now .
And binkies. Would she need some of those? He thought he’d read something once that said those were bad for baby teeth, but would that still come into consideration if her teeth were still soft? What about rattles? Would she want little noise toys like that? Or would she smack herself in her little face with them when her tiny arms didn’t listen to her? And he planned on breast feeding for as long as he could, since that was the healthiest option for her, but should he get bottles anyway? He didn’t really plan to leave her alone with anyone else long enough that she’d get hungry, so maybe not…
There were so many things to consider. So many things he’d never really let himself think about before. He hadn’t thought he’d ever need this information. All he knew was what little he’d heard from Toriel and the random bits of information he’d heard in passing.
As he was staring down a display of at least a dozen different kinds of bibs, he realized just how out of his depth he was. Any time he went on a mission he’d always double and triple checked the objectives, the possible threats, any delays that might occur. He always ran backup scenario after backup scenario through his head to make sure he was prepared for anything. And he was always thorough with recon missions, wanting to be sure he brought back every bit of information the gang might need to move forward smoothly.
He was diving into fatherhood with the bare minimum intel and absolutely no recon. He’d just jumped in practically blind. What was he supposed to do here?... Did she even need a bib at her age?...
“Oh, wow! How cute!”
Cross jumped, turning to focus his eyes on the woman right next to him, even as his body angled carefully away from her, shielding his vulnerable baby from the potential threat.
“I’ve never seen a skeleton baby before. They look so much smaller without all the extra padding.” The woman simpered, either not noticing or not minding Cross’ defensive stance. She was a bunny monster, a baby of her own in her arms, two toddlers in her cart, and an older child pawing at the electronic toys a few feet away.
“Um…” He responded awkwardly. This lady was probably the most friendly resident he’d met in this AU and it would just figure that he’d run into her here. The last thing he wanted was to attract attention, especially with his baby in his arms.
“Oh! Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. Is this your first one?” She asked, strangely chipper.
Cross felt so out of his element. Put a blade in his hands and tell him to fight multiple strong enemies and he wouldn’t hesitate, but stand him in front of some talkative bunny mother for a bit of social interaction and he froze up. He pet a hand over his baby’s skull, soothing himself with the softness of her ears.
“Yeah?... Is it that obvious?” He chuckled nervously.
“Just a little.” She giggled back. “You already have half the store in your cart and it looked like you were ‘bout to take half the bib section too!” Her eyes kept darting to his cart, to his baby, and then up to his face, smile widening with every pass.
“Big spender, huh? You’re gonna spoil your kid rotten with all that. Honestly, you shoulda looked everything up on google before comin here. Gotta check those reviews to make sure you’re gettin a good deal. Half the stuff they sell in this place is a scam don’t ya know.” She fluttered her long lashes and cocked her hip to the side, her eyes raking him up and down. Cross was starting to understand why she’d started talking to him. From the look of his cart, she assumed he had money. And she hadn’t been looking at his baby, she’d been glancing at his hands. From the lack of ring on his finger, she assumed he was a single father up for grabs. He had to remind himself that in this AU everyone was out for themselves.
“Does your missus know about your reckless spending?” She fished and Cross plastered on a polite plastic smile.
“My mate isn’t any better at this than I am, unfortunately. Thanks for your advice. I’ll keep it in mind.” He saw her deflate at the mention of a mate and he knew he’d pegged her correctly. He decided his baby didn’t actually need a bib yet just as the woman’s oldest child set off a couple loud toys, pulling her attention for the moment he needed to slip away from her.
Once he was several isles away he breathed out a little sigh of relief. As gross as the interaction made him feel, he hadn’t come away from it with nothing. She’d made a solid point about doing online research. It might have been a little late, what with him already in the store, but he had a phone and nowhere else he needed to be. He could look a few things up and see what sort of things would belong in a first time parent’s new baby kit.
But maybe, first, he’d find a nice out of the way aisle to hide so he wouldn’t be bothered again while he did his research.
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Cross had heard that babies tend to keep people up at night. Back in his old AU he recalled Toriel telling horror stories about the lack of sleep she got when Asriel had been just a baby. Perhaps he’d never paid that information the consideration it was due.
It wasn’t that his baby was loud. She definitely wasn’t. In fact, her voice rarely ever raised higher than some upset mewling. But every sound she made woke him up, no matter how soft. Her distress would jolt him awake and have him scrambling to see what was wrong every single time.
He just… Needed to know that she was ok.
And then, once she finally settled down for the night in the small hours of the morning, he couldn’t get back to sleep.
He let out a small whine, leaning back against his pillows, his tiny baby sleeping peacefully against his chest. He was so tired. But his internal clock was telling him it was time to be awake. Never before had he so wholeheartedly regretted his habit of rising before the sun. Of course, he couldn’t have known he would one day have a baby who would keep him up until his normal wake time.
Still. He couldn’t help but curse his past self for building up that habit to this point. When he needed to sleep.
He sighed, looking down to the resting bundle of baby bones on his chest. “You’re worth it.” He whispered, thumbing over her soft, tiny ears. She looked so comfortable in her new onesie. He’d had to cut holes in the seat of everything he’d bought to accommodate her tail, but now she looked warm and happy and he was so glad he’d been able to do that for her.
“S’a lot better than some dank little alley, huh?” He murmured to her, watching as one of her floppy little ears twitched towards him in her sleep. Stars, he adored her. He nuzzled against her, his tail giving a series of soft thumps as it started to lightly beat against the bed.
He sighed once more, finally giving up any pretense of trying to sleep as he sat up. “Might as well go make breakfast. Wanna come with me?” He questioned the sleeping infant, grinning when her little ear twitched again. “Ok. You don’t gotta twist my ear. You can come.”
He found the baby sling he’d bought just the day before and looped it across his body, taking a moment to adjust it before carefully transferring her over. She made a small whining noise, her nasal ridge scrunching up for a moment before her face smoothed once more in sleep. Cross let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“There, there, baby. Daddy’s just gotta get some coffee going so he can keep up with you today.” His tail started up wagging again as he stood up with his precious cargo. He couldn’t help it. Every time he referred to himself as ‘daddy’ he got this swooping, giddy feeling in his chest. (He was a father. He had a baby. He was a dad !)
“Maybe we can try a little play today.” He continued to speak softly as he made his way to the kitchen. “Or you can let me know which of the blankets I got you is your favorite. I know which one is mine, but yours might be different, right?” He wasn’t sure she was even old enough to care about which blanket he wrapped her in. It was also entirely possible she didn’t have enough strength in her tiny body for any kind of play yet. He still had a lot of research to do.
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out together, ok? I’ll make you happy. I promise.” And he was determined to keep that promise. No matter what it took. She was his baby and he would do right by her.
Coffee was an easy affair with the new baby sling freeing up his hands. Breakfast was a little different, though. Normally he would have eggs, bacon, and some toast, but with his baby right there against his chest he really didn’t want to risk any grease popping up and getting her. He also didn’t want to put her down. What if she rolled off the bed? Or the couch? Or whatever else he laid her on? And the floor was no place for a nap. She seemed so comfortable and peaceful in her sling, right next to his soul where he could keep her safe…
… Cocopuffs. Cocopuffs were the answer.
He was half way through his breakfast and coffee when she started to fuss again, quietly whining and squirming against him, her tiny ears pressed back and her little face scrunched up in displeasure. Big purple tears were already starting to well up at the corners of her eyes and she hadn’t even opened them yet.
“Ohh. It’s ok, baby. Daddy’s here. Daddy’s got you. Shh, shh.” He pet her and bounced her a little, hoping to soothe her back to sleep as he’d done through most of the night. But she wasn’t having it. She turned to press her face against him, starting to mouth at his shirt, and he suddenly knew what she wanted. “Aw. You hungry? You want your breakfast too, huh? Ok, just a second.”
He’d bought himself a few new shirts while he was out yesterday. Tank tops with thin straps that were easy to slip off an arm so he could expose half his chest. He did so now, and adjusted the sling to hold her at a better angle at which to feed. The sling was very quickly becoming his favorite purchase from the day before, providing him a lot of mobility and convenience while still keeping his baby close and safe.
She latched much easier now, with a few feeding sessions under their belt. She learned so quickly. Already, he was so proud of her. Her movements were still a little weak, but it was only just the next day and she was already doing so much better. Regular feeding, warmth, and love were doing her some pretty significant favors. Her bones were already starting to look darker. Healthier. Less gray than just yesterday. It made him feel so warm inside to know that he’d done that. He was being good for her.
It gave him hope that he could really do this. Even if… He had to do it on his own…
His soul sank in his chest and he pushed the thought away. Tomorrow. He’d think about that tomorrow. He just wanted one more day. One more where he didn’t have to worry about the future. Then, tomorrow, he’d figure everything out. He’d go back to the castle. He’d… Talk to Nightmare…
Thinking about the negative spirit, his mate , made his chest feel tight and heavy. Stars, he hoped everything would work out. He really, really hoped… But hope was such a fragile thing. Not to mention unreliable. It had never gotten him anywhere before. It was luck that had brought Nightmare to him. Luck that allowed him to have just a little of what he’d wanted for the first time he could really remember. To have something that almost felt… Like a family?...
It was luck that he would need now. To somehow keep everything that was important to him. Stars, he was selfish…
His cereal had long gone soft and his coffee cold by the time his baby finished eating. So after burping her against his shoulder and praising her for how much she managed to eat, he went about cleaning up his mess. He sent up a small apology to Horror when he had to toss the bit of food he hadn’t managed to eat.
As he washed his dishes he caught a pair of wide, soft lavender eyes staring up at him from the sling. He smiled and playfully stuck out his much darker tongue at her. She made a small noise and her little fist waved around before it found its way to her mouth where she could chew on it, letting out a few more gurgling noises as she did. He couldn’t help but chuckle at her. She was so cute and he loved her so much . Sure, he’d only had her for about a day, but already he would move the stars and mountains for her if he had to. Maybe even if he didn’t have to. As long as it made her smile.
Which she hadn’t done yet. As he dried the dishes and put them away, he resolved to change that today.
“Come on. Let's go see all of the neat things Daddy bought you yesterday.” He gushed, lifting her a little to nuzzle against her tiny face. She’d slept through most of yesterday, only waking long enough to eat, so he hadn’t gotten the chance to show her anything. Now that she was awake and staring up at him so curiously (and stars, what a relief that was. He was really starting to worry about her. Babies weren’t supposed to sleep that much, were they? But she was doing better now. She was awake and aware and looking at him and her eyes were beautiful .) he couldn’t wait to show her what he’d gotten her.
A few hours later found him curled on his side on the bed, various baby things strewn across the bed. His baby was wrapped snugly in the little purple blanket he’d liked. She really hadn’t shown a preference. She seemed to love her little octopus, though, and even now while she slept once more, one of its soft tentacles was in her mouth, soaked with her spit as she suckled at it.
She’d made several noises over the course of the morning, but steadfastly refused to smile or laugh for him. Still, though, she seemed happy. And he was happy that she was happy. He couldn’t help running a finger over her soft little cheek, the smile on his face widening when one of her ears twitched.
His sleepless night was catching up with him, though, and he was finding it more and more difficult to keep his eyes open. Perhaps he’d just rest them for a little bit. While his baby slept. Only for a little bit. If she needed anything, she’d let him know. He was sure of it. So it would be fine. He’d only close his eyes… For a little bit…
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Nightmare sat in his office, tentacles twisting behind him in what he refused to label as worry. It wasn’t worry. It was just… Impatience. Yes.
He stared down at his desk, his phone front and center and frustratingly dark. Cross’ check in time had come and gone. Cross never missed his check in. His mutt followed orders almost obsessively and one of his orders was to call once a day at the specified time every day that he was in that AU. He didn’t have a partner with him to watch his back. Trouble hadn’t been anticipated but the check in was set up as a fail safe in the event that something did happen.
That AU wasn’t supposed to be dangerous. It was a surface AU for fuck’s sake! And despite the level of negativity he could feel from it, there were no indications of it being violent!
Had the Stars shown up? Surely not. Cross had only been instructed to observe and report, not anything that would have drawn attention…
Nightmare stood from his desk. He’d waited the predetermined ten minutes after the missed check in. His agitation wouldn’t calm until he’d gone to see for himself what had happened. And if nothing had? If Cross had made him worry wait like this for no reason then there would be consequences.
Nightmare melted into the floor, reforming moments later in the safehouse Cross had been instructed to use. It was the first place to check. Just to rule it out. Then Nightmare would cast out his senses to locate Cross’ very recognizable emotional signature within the AU. As long as he hadn’t left the city then-...
Nightmare’s thought process ground to a stop as he peeked into the bedroom and found his wayward mutt curled up on the bed, back towards the door, fast asleep. He was sleeping. Just sleeping. He’d… Slept through the check in time.
A very large part of him shuddered with relief. (He was ok. His mutt was ok. Everything was fine. He hadn’t lost him.) But he shoved that part down in favor of the part of him that bubbled with anger.
“ Cross .” His voice was low and bathed in his displeasure. Cross had always been a light sleeper, however, so of course that was enough to wake him, no matter how tired he might have been. He watched as Cross jerked awake, body going stiff and his white ears folding back flat against his skull. Strangely, however, he didn’t move from the bed. Didn’t jump to attention as he normally did when faced with Nightmare’s displeasure. ( Why? )
“You missed check in.” Nightmare growled, “Care to explain?” And his tone promised punishment if he wasn’t satisfied with the answer he was given.
Cross’ head lifted and slowly turned, a wide, frightened eye light peering over a shoulder at him. “B-boss… I-...” Nightmare could see him shaking. He didn’t need to see that, however, to know how his mutt was feeling. He was scared. Hell, he was terrified . And there were strong waves of anxiety and guilt pouring off of him as well. But beneath that, there was something else. Something small and fragile and laced with hope and a glimmer of protectiveness. Nightmare didn’t think he’d ever tasted that particular mix from Cross before. ( Was something wrong?)
“Why aren’t you turning to face me, Cross?” Nightmares brow pinched with what could have been concern, but was also easily read as irritation. Cross obviously read it as the latter as his body locked up and his jaw went stiff. A panic attack?
Nightmare’s hands clenched in his pockets and his tentacles curled in on themselves behind him. He needed to gentle his approach. He knew how poorly Cross responded to his anger. His displeasure. And with him still laying there, unmoving, clearly afraid to turn and face him, Nightmare was beginning to believe there was far more to this than Cross simply forgetting to check in. (Was he injured? Had he been hurt and now he was afraid to admit it? Afraid to show a weakness? Was he still afraid that NIghtmare would punish such things? Foolish dog.)
Nightmare reached for him with his tentacles, determined to get to the bottom of things one way or another, and Cross flinched. He clutched at something in front of him on the bed, the motion seeming more reflexive than anything.
And then, Nightmare heard the most peculiar sound. A soft crying that couldn’t possibly have come from the stiff form in front of him. Too small and weak to ever come from his soldier.
Nightmare froze. Cross, however, seemed to unfreeze , turning quickly toward whatever it was he was holding to curl around it. Frantic reassurances fell from his mouth. “Shh! Shh! It’s ok! It’s ok! Everything’s fine! Shh!”
And Nightmare knew what that sound was. He knew , but he was having a hard time convincing himself that was really what it was. It was just such an absurd thought. Surely he was wrong. Surely that wasn’t-...
Having to see for himself, he resumed the motion of curling his tentacles around Cross to turn him. It earned him a startled yelp as Cross tried to curl more fully around the little bundle he had clutched to his chest. So frightened, but still so protective. Nightmare drank down the fear and anxiety, using it like a stiff drink to calm his own nerves despite the bitter taste of it coming from one of his . His most precious . He set his mutt up on the side of the bed, facing him, his tentacles lingering around the other’s body as he peered down at what Cross held.
In Cross’ arms was a baby. Small and black boned and fussing. There was a pair of ears atop their tiny skull and if Nightmare had not known for a fact that Cross hadn’t been pregnant at any point, he might have assumed the baby was actually his.
Still. The sight stirred something deep in Nightmare’s dark, broken soul. His mutt. His . With a baby. A baby that looked like the both of them. A baby that could so easily be mistaken as theirs .
There was only one thing wrong with this picture.
“Please! I-I’m sorry! Just! Just please don’t take her away! Don’t hurt her! I’m so sorry! I’ll do anything! Plese! I-I-...” Cross was sobbing, clutching desperately at the now crying baby in his arms. The taste of his desperation was rancid and the very thought of this child (His. His. HIS. Both of them were his, his soul cried out.) being tossed away or hurt made the corruption on his bones roil.
Nightmare quickly strode forward, ignoring the way Cross shied away from his approach, and lifted both hands to gently cup at the other’s face. “Cross. Calm yourself. Breath. You’re hyperventilating.” He attempted to soothe, voice just a little too stern to properly comfort. But he tried. He tried for Cross. For his most precious. And the tiny creature Cross had obviously claimed as his own.
Delicately, he moved his hands up to run over the soft, furry ears pinned against Cross’ skull, carefully coaxing them out of their stiff position. It was more gentle than he’d ever allow himself to be with anyone else. (But Cross had always been special.) Nightmare could never fully understand the effect this touch had on his pup, but he knew that it would produce the results he wanted. Cross leaned into his hands and made a visible effort to calm his breathing. Nightmare held his gaze, fingers never stopping in their gentle motions as Cross came down from the heights of panic he’d been driven to.
“Good boy, Cross. Very good. Just breathe.” He murmured, voice as soft as it ever got. He waited until the tears slowed and Cross was no longer gasping before he allowed his eye light to wander down to the tiny form his pup cradled against his chest. He could feel Cross stiffen as he did. He pet his fingers a little more firmly over his ears.
“Explain this to me.” He demanded. And though Cross flinched, he gentled back down easily under Nightmare’s hands.
“... I found her.” Cross started, slowly, his voice nearly a whisper. “I found her in an alley in a pile of dust. I… Think it was her parent… No one cared that she was crying. She was going to die and no one cared …” Cross’ voice shook.
The infant’s cries had slowly petered out. Pale violet eyes slowly blinked up at him and again Nightmare’s soul cried out mine . He tore his gaze away from her and looked back up at Cross. His pup’s eye lights wobbled and hazed at the edges and Nightmare had to resist the urge to gather him up and protect what was his from all that would hurt him. But that wouldn’t help right now. What his pup needed was not protection. What he needed was reassurance.
“ You cared.” He stated.
“I-... I did.” And he could taste Cross’ shame. Feel the way his ears tried to fold back once more. He didn’t let them.
“You wanted her.” He continued.
“I did. I-... I do . So much.” Cross practically sobbed, eyes clenched shut in an effort to prevent the tears that slipped past. That big heart of his that felt so strongly sitting right out on his sleeve where Nightmare could hurt it. But of course he wouldn’t. Not like this. Nightmare would never hurt him like this. Not if he could help it.
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Cross’, prompting the other to open his eyes once more and the hope that wafted off of him was so delicate it very nearly hurt.
“Then she is yours. And you are mine. Which makes her ours. ” And those words were firm. Irrefutable. Inarguable. It was a statement of fact. A promise. Then Nightmare tilted his head to drink down Cross’ sob and the veritable tidal wave of joy. He slotted his teeth against his pup’s and laid claim to him. Gentle, the way Cross liked it, but no less passionate for it.
Nightmare didn’t back away when the kiss was broken. Instead, he held Cross close, basking in the relief and happiness that did nothing for him but was somehow still precious to him just because of who it came from. He looked down to the small child in Cross’ arms and reached to trace a finger down the side of her tiny skull.
“You are both mine.” He affirmed, and it had Cross practically melting against him (Where he belonged) and humming his agreement.
“Have you selected a name for her?” He asked curiously, still petting along the child's ( his child’s) face. She pressed into his touch, despite the negativity that coated his bones, the same way Cross did. Seeking his comfort and his affection as if he were capable of such things. (Cross made him believe he was. And for his baby, he would make it true.)
“No. I uh… Haven’t really thought about it yet.” Cross admitted, bashful and embarrassed. It tasted sweet. One of his favorite flavors. And Nightmare let an amused sigh escape him. Of course Cross wouldn’t think about something as important as a name. Cross would always leave those kinds of important decisions to him. And the thought warmed something deep in his cold soul. It felt like satisfaction and pride.
“Hm.” Nightmare hummed, thinking, then smiled. “Her name will be Pandora. Our little bringer of chaos.”
“Pandora?” Cross looked down at their baby, leaning comfortably against Nightmare, and smiled. “I like it.”
And as Nightmare looked down at the two of them, at his small family , he felt something in him shift. He would protect them. He would keep them. And they would be happy.
And if anyone ever got in the way of that he would show no mercy.