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Kalim was sick. At least, that’s what Jamil was told when he got out of his first period class. He hadn’t seen Kalim in the hallway that morning, but just assumed Kalim would come in late. When Kalim hadn’t, he had been a little nervous, but promised himself he would talk to Kalim when he saw him next, perhaps give him a little lecture about being punctual and how important it is. After all, if Kalim wanted to be independent, he needed to face the consequences when he failed.
After his… incident during break, Kalim had taken it upon himself to be more independent. Kalim got himself up, dressed and to class as close to on time as he could each day and while Jamil still found issues with how Kalim acted, they were getting better. Even their joint effort on Vil’s SDC team had proven that Kalim was trying to be better, to look past himself and give Jamil a chance to shine. It was those little steps that made Jamil believe, possibly, that something good had come from his overblot, for all the damage it had caused. Even if he alone was the only person who believed that.
As he stepped out of his first class, a Scarabia student came up and whispered in his ear that Kalim was ill and still in his room at the dorm. Apparently, someone had walked past his room this morning and heard the poor heir vomiting. Jamil winced mentally, but thanked him for the information and headed for the dorm. He had about two hours until his next class, so he would sit with Kalim, figure out what he had ended up with and get him settled with some medicine and food.
There was a small, worried part of his mind that whispered Kalim could have been poisoned, but Jamil shook his head. Kalim hadn’t been poisoned in years, ever since Jamil himself had taken on cooking his food. Unless Kalim had eaten something without his permission, he was sure this was just the flu or something. That it would either work itself out in twenty-four hours or he would take Kalim to the infirmary for some help.
Stepping through the portal, he made a beeline for the housewarden’s room. He nodded to a few students, but most passed him by without a glance. Jamil mentally sighed. While his overblot had helped in some ways, his reputation among the dorm had suffered greatly. Many still held a grudge against him, despite Kalim’s pleas. Jamil couldn't blame them, however. He would be just as upset in their shoes, but it did make his job a bit harder and explained why he had only just heard about Kalim’s illness.
Jamil made it to Kalim’s door and listened for any kind of sounds, but heard nothing. Fixing his hair, he sighed and knocked on the door.
“Kalim? Kalim, are you in there?” Jamil called.
No answer. Feeling a bit nervous, Jamil checked the handle and scowled when he found it unlocked.
“Kalim, I’m coming in!” Jamil yelled.
Inside, the room was dark. The blinds, usually left open, were pulled closed, even the ones around Kalim’s bed. Frowning, knowing that Kalim preferred his room to be full of light, he walked over to the bed. A clear lump could be seen through the thin curtains.
“Kalim?” Jamil called again.
Reaching the bed, he pulled the curtains open. Kalim was lying on the bed, on top of the covers. Jamil flushed a bit, staring at Kalim. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, only a low riding pair of shorts. Even though he was in the privacy of his own room, Jamil felt the urge to cover him up more for fear someone would see him like this. Kalim was curled around a long, red pillow, drooling on it as he slept, but even in the darkness, Jamil could see the faint flush on Kalim’s face, along with the sweat along his forehead, neck and back.
“Kalim.” Jamil reached out and gently shook him awake.
Slowly, those ruby red eyes fluttered open and Kalim lifted his head slightly.
“J-Jamil?” Kalim whispered.
Jamil winced. His voice sounded awful, like he needed some water. Jamil reached his hand out and hissed.
“You are burning up.” Jamil muttered with annoyance.
“I’m sorry.” Kalim slurred, but pressed against Jamil’s hand with a long sigh.
“When did this start? Why didn’t you call me?” Jamil grumbled, but didn’t move his hand.
Even though it was odd that Kalim was nuzzling against his palm, eyes closed in bliss. Kalim had always been affectionate, but this was a lot.
“Last night? Or maybe this morning? I’m not sure?” Kalim muttered and Jamil huffed.
“Even still.” Jamil said softly.
“I’m sorry.” Kalim muttered and Jamil sighed.
Kalim settled down again and looked like he was falling back asleep. Jamil let this happen as he pulled back, taking note of a nearby potted plant out of place. He made a face, but didn’t look inside. He had a feeling he knew what happened. A quick check of the perimeter, just to soothe his mind before he returned to Kalim’s side. He hadn’t moved one inch, which was odd because Kalim moved a lot in his sleep. This added to the information Jamil was collecting about what he was dealing with.
A simple status spell confirmed his thoughts. Kalim had the flu. He would need some sleep, food and time. Jamil was already mentally mapping out how the next twenty four hours would go. A quick message to some other students, including Cater and Lilia, to get the notes for their classes and let the professors know what happened. He begrudgingly even texted Azul since they were supposed to work on a potion together today.
“How horrible! Please let me know if you need anything from me. I am always happy to be of assistance~” Azul texted back.
Jamil threw his phone onto the vanity and didn’t bother replying. He had more important things to worry about. First things first. Kalim probably needed a bath to cool his body down. Reaching over, he shook Kalim awake again.
“Nooo. Tired.” Kalim muttered, burying his face in his pillow.
Jamil held back a smile before sighing.
“Come on. I bet you're feeling hot and sticky. Let’s get you in the shower.” Jamil stated.
Kalim opened one eye.
“Shower?” Kalim muttered.
“Yes. To bring your body temperature down.” Jamil agreed.
Kalim whined and held out his arms.
“Carry me?” Kalim asked.
Jamil shot him a bored look.
“That was cute when you were eight and easy to carry.” Jamil stated, arms crossed.
Kalim whined again and made a grabby motion with his hands. Jamil sighed loudly before bending down and scooping him up. Kalim cuddled close to his chest, smiling sweetly and Jamil tried really hard not to think of it as cute, but Sevens damn it, it was cute! Jamil adjusted his arms slightly to make it easier on them both.
“You are going to be the death of me.” Jamil whispered as he carried Kalim to his private bathroom.
Inside, he put Kalim on the floor as he started the large, walk in shower. Making sure the temperature was somewhat lukewarm, he turned to find Kalim had fallen asleep leaning against the wall. Sighing and looking at the ceiling, he knelt down to get Kalim undressed. Which wasn’t hard since he was only wearing shorts. Jamil also pulled off his own top, knowing he was just going to get wet.
“Why am I not shocked by no underwear?” Jamil said as he gently got Kalim up and into the shower.
“Ahhh. Feels nice~” Kalim said, head tilted back.
“Do not tilt your head back! You will drown!” Jamil hissed.
He held Kalim up, made sure Kalim only stayed in for a short period of time and helped him clean the sweat from his body before pulling him out. Kalim seemed to be a bit more cohesive afterwards, so Jamil counted that as a win.
“Just sit there and don’t fall asleep again.” Jamil said as he dropped a towel on Kalim’s head to dry his hair.
“M’kay.” Kalim muttered.
Taking the time to dry his hair and skin, Jamil only dried himself very quickly with a heat spell before picking Kalim up and carrying him back to his bed. Settling him down, Jamil moved to get him some pjs and consider what next steps were.
“We need to get some water in you. I will get a jug from the kitchen. Is there anything else you need?” Jamil said as he dressed Kalim.
“Water?” Kalim asked.
“Yes. You are probably dehydrated.” Jamil replied.
“I can make water! Watch!” Kalim reached for his magic pen, but Jamil quickly grabbed it.
“Ah ah ah! What rules do we have about being sick!” Jamil demanded.
Kalim blinked and then looked down.
“No magic while sick.” Kalim said, pouting.
“And why don’t we do magic while sick?” Jamil demanded, arms crossed.
“Because I flooded the west wing when I was sick last time.” Kalim said sadly.
“Very good. You can have this back when you are feeling better.” Jamil said, nodding.
Jamil didn’t want to think about how costly that damage had been. He just remembered getting yelled at for not stopping him and so he had made sure to take Kalim’s pen every other time. Kalim nodded, looking tired and Jamil suddenly wondered if Kalim got any sleep last night.
“How are you feeling?” Jamil asked after a few moments of silence.
“Tired. Hungry. Sore.” Kalim muttered.
Jamil sighed and nodded.
“I will go get some water and food. You stay here. Try to stay awake, if only until I get back.” Jamil stated.
“C-Can I come with you?” Kalim muttered, rubbing at one eye.
“It’s best if you don’t. I will be back shortly. Stay. Here.” Jamil commanded.
With a final nod from Kalim, he slipped back into the hall. Pulling his pen, he tapped the handle and locked it. While Kalim could unlock it from the other side, it made Jamil feel better knowing Kalim is safe behind the door. Turning away, he headed for the kitchen.
His first action was to get a pitcher of water. Water was going to be key in helping Kalim get healthy again. Next was food. While Kalim wasn’t exactly picky, he did have a particular fondness for chicken soup when sick. Jamil got started on the food, put everything together, set a timer and headed back to Kalim’s room with the pitcher and a glass. He knocked twice before walking inside.
Thankfully, Kalim wasn’t in his bed, but sitting at his desk, looking over some homework. Though ‘looking it over’ was rather literal. Kalim was staring at it blankly, his eyes glazed over, seemingly disassociating, not actually reading the words on the page. Jamil sighed.
“Kalim, I’m back.” Jamil called as he walked over.
Jamil set the pitcher down before pouring some into the glass. Handing it off to Kalim, Jamil made sure he drank every drop.
“We need to keep you hydrated.” Jamil stated.
“Can I have some coconut juice?” Kalim asked after the second glass.
“For now, let’s stick to water.” Jamil said.
He was pretty sure they had coconut juice, but he had to be sure Kalim wasn’t sick enough that everything would come back up. After making sure Kalim was fine, Jamil checked his phone.
“I have to go get the food. Stay here.” Jamil demanded.
Kalim nodded and Jamil left. After making sure nothing was burnt, he dished it out into two bowls before he returned to Kalim’s side and ate with him, keeping a close watch on Kalim’s face for anything that would prove the soup was coming back up. When they were done, he put the bowls aside, taking note that Kalim was all, but falling asleep sitting up.
“Come on. Time for sleep.” Jamil helped Kalim to his bed and helped him relax.
“You’ll stay… right?” Kalim asked as he curled around his pillow again.
Jamil raised an eyebrow. Kalim was always a bit clingy, but he seemed almost overly so this time. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been sick in a while.
“Of course. I can’t leave you alone. Sevens knows you hurt yourself somehow.” Jamil said as he grabbed his bag and settled beside the bed.
Kalim nuzzled against his pillow.
“Don’t leave, Jamil. I can’t… do this… if you leave” Kalim trailed off, falling asleep immediately and Jamil stared at him with shock, wondering where the hell that had come from.
“I’m right here.” Jamil said softly, reaching over to pet Kalim’s hair before returning to his textbook.
About an hour later, Jamil was done with his homework and was playing some game on his phone when it suddenly went off. Cursing, Jamil jumped up and rushed out of the room, hoping Kalim hadn’t been woken up by the noise. Seeing the caller ID, he scowled.
“What?” Jamil demanded as he answered the phone.
“Oh my, Jamil! No need to snap! No reason to be rude.” Azul’s amused voice came through and Jamil almost threw it against the wall.
“Why are you calling me?” Jamil demanded.
“Why, I am just being a good classmate, Jamil, and giving you a little heads up that there is a quiz tomorrow in Trein’s class.” Azul said and Jamil could hear the pout in his face.
Jamil paused, eyes narrowed.
“And what do I have to pay for what is on the quiz?” Jamil asked.
“Just that Floyd is allowed to stop by and see Kalim. Apparently he is very sad that his favorite friend wasn’t in class today. He’s been causing a ruckus all morning about it.” Azul stated.
Now that he said it, he could hear someone loudly whining in the background.
“Kalim is sick. He shouldn’t be seeing anyone.” Jamil said coldly.
“Ah, how sad. Poor Floyd.” Azul sighed sadly and Jamil rolled his eyes.
“He could catch whatever Kalim has.” Jamil stated.
“Your human illnesses can’t affect us merfolk.” Azul replied.
Jamil listened to Azul whine, bitch and moan for a few minutes before he finally gave up. Admittedly, Kalim would be happy if a friend stopped by and that would give Jamil a moment of peace to get some real housewarden work done today. Awin-win, even if Jamil might have to deal with Azul.
“Fine! Fine. Give me a few more hours to get his temperature down and then we will see.” Jamil said finally.
“How wonderful! I will let Floyd know right now!” Azul perked up immediately.
“Ahem.” Jamil coughed loudly.
“The quiz is on chapter 24, The Sun Kingdom.” Azul replied and Jamil nodded.
“Thank you. Now, I have to go. Kalim needs to get up soon.” Jamil ended the call before Azul could say anything more.
Already feeling a headache coming on, he shook his head before he turned back to the door and stepped inside. However, he quickly became concerned when he heard what sounded like crying coming from the bed.
“Kalim?” he darted over and ripped the curtain back.
Kalim was curled around his pillow, sobbing softly into the fabric, trembling and shaking to the point the whole bed was vibrating. Jamil, shocked by the sudden change in what felt like a few short minutes, reached out and touched Kalim’s shoulder. The touch, barely more than a brush of his fingers against Kalim’s skin, caused Kalim’s eyes to snap open. His panicked breaths combined with his teary eyes made something in Jamil’s heart constrict. He hadn’t seen Kalim this upset in years. Ever since the kidnapping had trailed off as Kalim got older and harder to swipe.
“Kalim?” Jamil whispered, voice trembling.
“Jamil?” Kalim whispered.
Kalim sat up and Jamil distinctly noticed that Kalim’s eyes still seemed a bit glassy. Like he wasn’t fully awake.
“Jamil. Jamil.” Kalim whispered his name over and over again, like a prayer and Jamil felt his face heat up a bit.
“I’m here, Kalim. What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did you have a nightmare?” Jamil asked, concerned.
Kalim’s eyes filled with even more tears and he latched on to Jamil’s arm with a desperate whimper.
“P-Please, Jamil! Please!” Kalim cried.
Jamil was absolutely befuddled. He had no idea what Kalim was begging him for. Gently, he sat down on the bed and let Kalim hold him.
“Kalim, what is wrong? Please tell me.” Jamil asked when Kalim’s cries died down.
Slowly, Kalim looked up at him, lips trembling, eyes dark with some kind of pain Jamil didn’t recognize. Finally, he spoke.
“P-Please don’t send me away, Jamil. Please.” Kalim begged.
Jamil’s heart stopped.
“W-What?” Jamil asked.
“Please don’t send me away! Please don’t leave! Please Jamil!” Kalim begged, tugging on his arm.
“Kalim.” Jamil’s voice trembled.
Kalim breath hitched.
“I-I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything to stay by your side. Anything you want! Anything you desire! You can have it! You can have it all!” Kalim stammered.
Kalim’s eyes were so intense and Jamil felt pinned under his stare. He couldn’t understand what was happening. Kalim was clearly not in his right mind, but why was Kalim so fixated on this? Why right now? Why when Jamil thought they had made it to a place of understanding?
“Kalim. Please calm down. You’re sick and not in your right mind.” Jamil said, but his brain was racing.
Kalim whimpered and pressed his forehead against Jamil’s arm, all, but curling against his side.
“Let me stay. Please let me stay. Don’t push me away. Don’t throw me away. You can do… you can have whatever you want. I swear. Just let me stay.” Kalim begged, holding him so tightly that Jamil’s arm would definitely have a bruise tomorrow.
Jamil licked his lips, feeling his hands start to shake. This was too much. Too much right now. He wanted to run away. He didn’t want to be reminded of this right now. Not of all the horrible things he had done during that time. He just didn’t want it.
But he didn’t want this even more. Because Kalim sounded so…broken. So hurt by his actions and while there was a small part of his brain that was happy to see his tears, to see him beg for a scrap of Jamil’s attention, it was mostly drowned out by the larger part of his brain that never wanted to be reminded of his actions or how they had hurt people. Especially Kalim who had seemed to bounce back from everything with no problem.
He didn’t want to think about how long these fears must have festered. How Kalim had probably cried about them in the dark of the night, unable to voice them to the one person who could have helped him through them. He didn’t want to think that his actions had hurt Kalim in such a deep way and he had never noticed.
“Kalim.” Jamil muttered.
Choking on his tears, Kalim stared in his eyes before a small, sad, empty smile crossed his face. His next words all, but shattered the poor illusion that Jamil had been living with, the idea that something good had come from his overblot.
“Jamil, I will do anything to stay by your side. Anything you want. Y-You can even hypnotize me if you want. If that is the only way you will keep me around. If that is what will make you happy, you can use Snake Whisperer on me whenever you want. I won’t fight it. I promise. I’ll do whatever I am told.” Kalim whispered.
Jamil jerked away from Kalim, got up from the bed and stumbled away. He didn’t even pay attention to the rolled carpet under his feet until he fell back and landed on the floor. His heart was in his throat, beating way too fast and hard. He couldn’t breathe. His mind was full of static. He couldn’t think. The room seemed too small, too warm, too much. He needed to leave. He needed…
Jamil shot to his feet and darted for the door, grabbing the handle with full intent to rip it open and bolt when Kalim cried out.
“Please! Please, don’t leave me, Jamil!” Kalim screamed.
Jamil stopped, held in space and time by Kalim’s sobbing cries. His own tears, held in the corners of his eyes, felt heavy. He trembled, wanting to go, but held in place by the almost hysterical crying of his master and once beloved companion.
“Please Jamil. Just tell me. Just tell me what I can do, what I can give to keep you from abandoning me.” Kalim begged.
Jamil swallowed, hands clenching the handle hard enough that his knuckles were white.
“Jamil. You’re all I have. You’re all I’ve ever had.” Kalim whimpered.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jamil swallowed and turned around. Kalim was on the bed still, but his head and chest were bowed, pressed against the bed, fists clenched in the sheets. He looked like he was praying at the altar of his only god.
“Everyone else, all of them, came and went. But Jamil. Jamil stayed. Jamil was always there.” Kalim spoke and Jamil tried to say something, anything, but it was like his words were stuck in his chest.
Admittedly, Kalim was right. People came and went all the time around them. In Kalim’s world, being close to him either meant ruin or death. So many people, guards, nannies, servants, all of them had either died or left at one point or another. Jamil truly was the only one Kalim had ever had. The only one who had stayed.
Not by his choice however and that was why Jamil had been so angry for some many years. It would have been one thing if he had chosen to stay by Kalim’s side, decided to stay of his own free will, but his choice had been taken from him before he was even born. But in the long run, Kalim had never had a choice either, he had been born into his position over Jamil with no understanding that things should be different. But he had been an easy target for Jamil’s hatred and maybe that’s why this scared him so much. Because in the end…
“Jamil… is my constant. Jamil is safe.” Kalim finished and Jamil stared.
Stared at the head of the one he should be bowing to, but who was bowing to him. Clinging to him with all the desperation his small body could muster and Jamil, Jamil couldn’t stand it. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and knelt down.
“Kalim. Kalim, look at me.” Jamil demanded and slowly, Kalim lifted his head.
His eyes were clear. Ruby red stared back at him, teary, but clear. Slowly, Jamil lifted his hand and though Kalim flinched ever so slightly, he pressed his hand to Kalim’s cheek and rubbed his thumb under his eye to catch his tears. Jamil’s own tears started to fall, rolling down his face as Kalim hiccuped.
“Please. Please tell me.” Kalim whispered.
Jamil sighed.
“There is… nothing you can do.” Jamil replied.
He saw the moment those eyes shattered. Saw the weight of his words on Kalim’s shoulders as they slumped. His head bowed, tears falling like raindrops onto the sheets. Jamil let this happen in silence before he spoke again.
“I need my freedom, Kalim. I can’t live like this. I will either die or go mad.” Jamil whispered.
Kalim nodded, if not slowly. His breath hitched in his chest, trying to control himself enough to listen to Jamil’s words. Something Jamil knew he had been working on, something Kalim had taken to heart after his overblot. To listen and actually process Jamil’s words instead of ignoring them like he had before.
“But… that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to see everything it has to offer. But I will need a home too. Someplace… someone to return to.” Jamil said slowly.
Kalim lifted his face and stared at Jamil. He reached up and held Jamil’s hand to his cheek, pressing against it.
“Can you… be my home? For when I want to come back?” Jamil asked softly.
He felt his face flush. He wanted to pull his hood up to cover it, but he couldn’t do that. This was too important. Too much was at stake for him to fail. Kalim stared at him and Jamil released those thoughts that had always held him back. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Kalim’s and though Kalim stiffened, eventually, he melted and they kissed.
Jamil pulled back, even though Kalim attempted to follow him. Jamil huffed as Kalim whined and opened his eyes.
“Another.” Kalim demanded.
“Yeah, no. I am already taking a chance with this one. We don’t both need to be sick.” Jamil stated as he slowly got up.
Fuck his knees hurt and so did his chest, but looking at Kalim, who was pouting at him like he always did when Jamil didn’t give him something he wanted, Jamil felt a bit lighter, but there was also more they would have to talk about, more they would have to clear up and more they would have to sooth over. Jamil’s illusion was gone and now they actually had to work towards a better place, rather than ignoring it.
“Yes, Jamil.” Kalim said after a few moments.
“Hm?” Jamil questioned.
Kalim smiled at him, bright like sunshine.
“I’ll be your home.” Kalim replied and Jamil flushed before smiling back.
“Good.”
–sSs–
Jamil glared at the ceiling, Kalim sitting by his bedside.
“I’m sorry, Jamil! I didn’t mean for you to get sick!” Kalim cried.
Jamil just huffed.
“But don’t worry! You took such good care of me and now, I’ll take care of you!” Kalim said brightly.
Jamil stared at him with wide eyes before groaning and rolling over.