Chapter Text
“….September will be coming soon, and you’ll go back with Charlie. Jo and I will be in California. And we will jus the so glad that we had this… adventure.”
“ God, this was a mistake. Risking everything for something that wasn’t even real. It was always just going to be a fling, Carson .”
Greta’s words played over and over in Carson’s head. She meant what she said. I mean, God, she didn’t even say goodbye. Carson didnt matter to Greta, no matter how much she wished she did.
Carson paced her room, finally empty of Shirley’s anxious energy.
When she got the call from her Maybelle telling her Greta had left, she panicked. She rushed to the train station, hoping she was in time to talk to Greta. But she realized she was too late. By the time she arrived at the train station, she was already gone. No forwarding address, no explanation, no goodbye. Nothing.
Now everything she sees in her room reminds her of the woman who changed her life. Who showed her if was okay to find herself…. And she hated it. She wanted a life with Greta. She wanted this to be real. She should have known better. Greta said herself this wasn’t. She was just an adventure to her. Nothing more.
Carson can hear the bedroom door slowly creak open. Lupe popping her head in sensing Caron isn’t okay.
“Hey Shaw, everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah, no yeah, things are fine “Carson mumbles out
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been hit by a bus.”
“She… she just…. She left.”Carson said with a scratchy throat, trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes and catching in her throat.
“I know Hermano, I know.” Lupe said in a low whisper, barely audible.
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Greta didn’t know where to go from here. Her plan was to go to California with Jo after the season ended. That plan was now out the window. Jo is now in South Bend.
She couldn’t go back to Rockford.
She couldn’t go to New York, not after what happened to Dana. She wasn’t ready to face the city she used to call home.
Greta was lost, and it was all her fault. Things were becoming too real in that house. With the team. In life. Well, that’s not true, she thought to herself. Things were becoming too real with Carson. She knew by the way Carson looked at her. The want she saw in her eyes for more. Something Greta could not , no , would not be able to give her.
She just lost Jo. She couldn’t lose Carson too. So she lied, straight to Carson’s face. She broke all of the hope she held that they could be more. She had to keep her safe
So she left. Without a word, knowingly breaking the catchers heart.
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The season had ended. The Rockford Peaches lost to the Blue Soxes in the championship series 3-1. They just couldn’t do it without their first base woman.
Caron was angry. They could have won this. They could have been champions.
But again, Greta only thought about herself. She was her own priority, and she cost her team. She cost Carson….
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Carson could not do this anymore. She felt like she was going through a cycle of emotions, never being able to feel just one thing. The first night with Greta, Carson cried, heavy heart breaking sobs. Her chest felt like it was going to cave in from the weight of being left.
Charlie tried to comfort his wife, but Carson could not handle it. She yelled for him to go.
“Charlie, just leave. I can’t do this” Carson said between gasps of breath.
“It’s okay Car, you guys will be fine. Look at how far you guys came”
“Charlie, just go. Please.”
“Car-“
“No Charlie. Just, no, I just….” Carson said in a mumble
“What. What is it?”
“I … just. I’m not, I’m not the same… I’m not the same person i was when you left. I’ve changed. You read my letter. You know that i … you know I’m not happy. I can’t keep doing this.” Carson said in hurry trying to catch her breath
“What are you saying Car…” Charlie began, trying to keep his tone neutral
Carson took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she enevitably destroyed her world. She sat there for a moment, trying to come up with the best explanation to explain to her husband she couldn’t do this anymore. That she couldn’t be in this marriage. “I’m not the woman you married. You’re my best friend Charlie. You always have been. But something is wrong with me. And i think i need time to figure out who i am, out side of being a ball player, a best friend, …. A wife” Carson said the last two words in almost a whisper.
Charlie just stared, unable to form words.
Carson waited, for anything. Yelling, for him to beg her to stay, just something
After a few minutes of total silence, Charlie finally spoke
“You’re just like your mother.” Charlies said quietly with hate in his voice.
“I think… i think you should go.” Carson said with tears in her eyes. She knew this was going to be difficult, but she didnt expect Charlie to actually hate her for telling him the truth.
“Yeah, i will. Ill give you a few days to cool down. We can talk about this then.”
“Yeah, okay” Carson mumbled, knowing she wouldn’t be there to have that conversation.
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Two days later, Carson had her things packed in the car along side Esti, Jess, and Lupe’s suitcases. They had made the decision to go to Chicago after the season.
Carson didn’t tell Charlie. She just left
Just like her mother
Just like Greta
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