Archive of Our Own

Juyeon sighed, picking up the candle on the main altar after lighting it with a match. He admired the flame for a second before moving around the chapel to light a hundred candles that scattered the room. This was something he did every night as the sun set, colors of light dancing on the floor through the stained glass.

Sometimes he hated the repetitive nature of being at the church, performing the same tasks like clockwork. The Deacon left for his quarters after dinner, leaving him and the other nuns to take care of everything for the rest of the evening until he returned in the morning.

He was in charge of the evenings on the weekend, meaning after morning services he slept most of the day until evening service and dinner before going to work in the small chapel. Juyeon finished lighting the candles before walking the floor in search of any loose belongings to place in the lost and found. There was nothing but a few scattered Bibles that he would have to return to their rightful places, leaning down to pull a pair to his chest.

Juyeon jumped at the feeling of something touching his shoulder, letting out a small yelp in surprise as he quickly pulled himself to his feet from kneeling on the floor. He took a deep breath as the boy standing in front of him stood in shock.

“I’m sorry,” the stranger said with a small, nervous laugh. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, no,” Juyeon quickly responded, using his free hand to dust off his black robes of any dirt they may have picked up on the floor. “I just didn’t hear you come in. Also, I’ll have to ask that you don’t have further physical contact with myself or any of the other Sisters. It is heavily discouraged and for our own safety.”

The boy nodded, almost waiting for Juyeon to say something first, the two of them locking eyes with the silence between them a bit uncomfortable. He had fluffy black hair and wide eyes, puffy cheeks to match, maybe around Juyeon’s age if he could guess. His clothing was comfortable, jeans and a tee shirt with a flannel over it to keep out the cold, sneakers that seemed mostly well kept other than the usual dirt.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, I’m just here to get out of the cold for a bit, if that’s okay?”

Juyeon nodded with a soft smile, eyes crinkling up in glee. “Absolutely, you may. I don’t often get visitors at night so I hope you don’t mind me doing chores around here.” He turned to leave the boy who was settling down into a pew, crossed arms to wrap himself in his jacket a bit more. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask your name. Mine is Juyeon.”

The boy glanced up at where Juyeon was standing at the edge of the pew, smile still plastered on his face. At first, he didn’t respond at all, just blinked at Juyeon for a few seconds. Just as Juyeon was going to assure the boy he didn’t have to share, that it would be okay, he muttered out his name. “Changmin.”

For the next two hours, Changmin sat and stared at the altar that was lit with soft yellow light, hardly taking his eyes off it. That sort of thing wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for night visitors. People came here for solitude and serenity, and Juyeon was not going to ask anyone to leave unless they were causing some kind of issue.

He was one of the nuns who didn’t completely follow the handbook rule by rule. The other Sisters would often remove those who slept in the chapel or looked to spend the night to get out of the weather, but Juyeon felt no need to do such a thing. God loved all his children, and as a nun, his job was to care for his community.

After Juyeon finished cleaning up the spare clutter in all the pews and filling all of the vessels surrounding the church with holy water, he finally could take some time to do his prayers before doing more chores.

Juyeon made his way to the altar, kneeling in front of it with ease and making note of the small pain that spread from his knees upward. He was used to the feeling now after so many hours of praying on the hard tile of the church. It was a symbol of how hard he worked, and the pain had significantly lessened over the years, now nothing but a simple annoyance.

Pulling the rosary between his fingers, Juyeon sighed in content to himself. This rosary had been with him for the past few years, given to him on his nineteenth birthday by the priest he was studying under at the time. It was stunning, the only piece of his daily attire that had any sort of true beauty.

The small crystalline beads were made of glass, the small ones a clear red and the larger beads an opaque black glass with swirls of silver and gold. Connected by a silver chain, the metal tough so it wouldn’t break even with a bit of wear and tear. The cross and centerpiece were also silver, with accents of a beautiful gold that had never lost its shine.

Juyeon lifted his rosary from around his neck to take off, wrapping it around his hands to tangle his fingers together to pray. Instead of closing his eyes, he instead looked upward at the crucifix on the altar to recite his first prayer. “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord—”

When the first prayer was finished he lowered his head to continue, muttering them beneath his breath instead of saying them with conviction. The church was silent apart from Juyeon’s voice quietly filling the silence.

“—forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.” During the second prayer of his rosary, he could hear faint footsteps approaching him, opting to ignore them until he was finished. When he opened his eyes to see who it belonged to, Changmin was waiting patiently for him to finish.

“Can I join you? I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“Do you know any of the prayers?” Juyeon asked softly, a whisper that Changmin simply shook his head in response to. “That’s okay. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

He stood from the altar, his robes falling to the floor as he walked behind Changmin’s figure to the side of the altar where a pile of papers and pamphlets sat on an old wooden table. Juyeon picked one up, along with a cheap plastic rosary with white and black beads, and returned next to Changmin on the altar, kneeling next to him.

“This has all of the prayers written so you can follow along,” Juyeon smiled, eyes crinkling into crescent moons as he handed the pamphlet and rosary for Changmin to take. “Unfortunately, praying the rosary takes quite a long time, and can be quite repetitive, so if you decide this isn’t for you, I don’t mind. You won’t be rude if you decide to stop.”

“How often do you do this?” Changmin asked as he ran a finger over the text.

Juyeon placed his hands together to continue his prayers, keeping the rosary tight between his fingers in protection. “Every day.”

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Changmin followed along with Juyeon as best as he could, reading out every prayer despite the fact the Hail Mary was repeated so many times he had memorized it by the end of the rosary. His throat hurt after speaking these prayers without break, counting the beads with his fingers and noting that Juyeon never once counted how many repetitions they had done.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

“Are we done…?” Changmin hesitantly asked, a whisper that only Juyeon would be able to hear.

Juyeon opened one of his eyes to glance at Changmin, shaking his head slightly in response. “Just one more prayer and then we will be done. It should be on the back, though it’s quite long.” He listened to Changmin clear his throat as the boy flipped the pamphlet over to see the final prayer. “You don’t have to say it with me. Just listening is more than enough.”

“Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve, to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears—” Changmin listened to Juyeon’s voice as it echoed in the chapel, focusing on the way his voice was soft and breathy rather than the actual prayer itself.

He was being honest when he said he was just escaping the cold. Religion wasn’t exactly his thing, though he would admit he was curious about how Juyeon managed to do this every single day. Just how many restrictions did Juyeon have to live with, day in and day out, without ever once receiving a break or having normal experiences? “—meditating upon these mysteries of the most holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Juyeon opened his eyes and pulled his rosary back over his head, tugging the fabric carefully out of the necklace to return to his usual appearance. Changmin noted the small tuft of hair that he probably wasn’t supposed to see, jet black in appearance, though he couldn’t tell if it was the lowlight or its natural color.

“Can I ask you a question, Juyeon?”

Changmin looked up at Juyeon who was pulling himself to his feet, moving his knees instead of kneeling on them to sit criss cross on the floor of the chapel. Juyeon looked down at him and hummed as an indication for him to continue. “Why did you decide to become a nun?”

The man looked down at him with shock on his face, having never been directly asked outside of the council at the church. Juyeon took a moment to think to himself before finally coming to a conclusion he felt was good to share. “The Lord has been the most important thing in my life for as long as I can remember, and I want to help others in the community see how wonderful he is. I want them to know that good people exist despite how terrible the world may be, that they will always have a place here.”

Juyeon smiled at Changmin as he picked himself off the cold tile of the chapel to hand back the rosary and pamphlet. “Hmm? You can keep them, Changmin.”

Changmin tilted his head, looking down at the items in his head before looking up to meet Juyeon’s gaze. He admired the way that even in candlelight Juyeon’s eyes were bright and warm, welcoming and kind through the darkness that shrouded them.

“Are you sure?”

“They’re meant to be given to people. If you really don’t want them, that’s fine, but we will get more. You’re not stealing them from us, I promise.” Juyeon giggled a bit as he spoke, making Changmin’s heart lurch a bit in his chest.

He shoved the rosary and the pamphlet into his pocket with a nod, knowing he wouldn’t touch them again. The least he could do was accept the gift instead of rejecting Juyeon’s attempts at allowing Changmin to be curious about the teachings of his church. Changmin awkwardly pulled out his phone to check the time, noting that it was past midnight, before shoving it back into his pocket.

“I have to go.”

Juyeon nodded in response, glancing at the clock on the wall to see what time it was as well. “Have a good night, Changmin. If you ever want to come visit me again, I’m here at this time every weekend.”

Changmin turned from Juyeon to leave him in the chapel, saying goodnight with a smile and saying he might come back next weekend. Juyeon pulled his rosary between his fingers to toy with the beads like he always did when he was anxious about something. Today was different. The anxiousness wasn’t from stress, but instead intrigue.

The holy ghost was telling him Changmin was going to be someone of importance.

Juyeon had just finished lighting all the candles in the chapel and was sitting in one of the pews with his bible spewed open. The silence was comforting to him, the flip of each fragile page a reminder that every sentence written in this book was full of truth. He had seen it more times than he could count.

The sound of footsteps shook Juyeon out of his trance, the man lifting his head from his scripture to turn and see who had entered the otherwise empty church. Changmin had entered the chapel as quietly as he could, the door closing behind him with a soft click as he tip-toed his way down the aisle to sit next to Juyeon in the pew.

Changmin had a bright smile on his face as he scooted closer to Juyeon, ensuring their bodies never touched despite being so close. “How are you, Juyeon?”

“Honestly, very happy,” Juyeon practically giggled in response, closing his scriptures and placing the thick book next to him on the pew on the opposite side of Changmin. “I wasn’t expecting you to actually come back, especially since I’m usually on the night shift.”

“I’m kind of a night owl,” Changmin responded, taking a look around the chapel once again. Nothing had changed, it was as pristine and silent as it was the last time Changmin had come in. “Do you ever get bored sitting here with nothing to do all night?”

Juyeon nodded as he closed his eyes and sighed. “Truthfully, yes. It’s a sacrifice I chose to make, though. Being a nun isn’t exactly the most glamorous profession.”

He opened his eyes and looked at Changmin, admiring the way his hair was fluffy and messy. Changmin almost looked like a puppy with how wide his eyes were when he looked into Juyeon’s glancing between them. It was almost like he was admiring them, and it made Juyeon’s heart skip a beat.

The doors of the chapel opened, both of the boys turning to see who it could be. It was a young girl about their age or maybe a few years younger. She slipped into a pew at the very back of the chapel and leaned her head onto the pew in front of her, covering her face in the process. Juyeon heard the sniffle echo in the silent church and immediately pulled himself to his feet.

“Stay here for a moment. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Changmin nodded, watching as Juyeon’s figure walked down the aisle to the last pew, the distance making the silence truly settle in. He sat down next to the girl, leaning over to whisper something to her. She lifted her head and wiped her tears, answering before Juyeon stood and returned to Changmin.

“Come, follow me. We should give her some space.”

Juyeon waited until Changmin stood from the pew to begin walking, soft footsteps as he led Changmin to a door next to the altar. It had a small sight written about only staff being allowed on the other side, but Juyeon ignored that, opening the door and holding it for Changmin to enter.

Once the door was closed the small room fell into darkness, Changmin pulling out his phone to see where they were. It was a small room filled with chairs and an old wooden piano, walls littered with religious pictures and symbols. “This way, Changmin.”

Changmin turned toward the whisper, Juyeon already halfway up a flight of old wooden stairs. He wondered how Juyeon managed to not trip without good lighting, but it was probably muscle memory with how many hours Juyeon spent in the church.

The stairs creaked under Changmin and Juyeon’s footsteps, the door at the top of the staircase stuck when Juyeon tried to open it. He pushed his shoulder into the door, breaking it open with a huff. Juyeon led Changmin out from the dark stairwell into a small balcony that was above the altar, two rows of benches on either side.

“This is where the choir sits during mass,” Juyeon whispered, sitting down on one of the benches and patting the spot next to him. Changmin obliged, throwing one of his legs over to straddle the bench and face Juyeon. “It’s quiet up here, so sometimes I’ll sit and admire how pretty the chapel is. In the morning, before I go to sleep, the sunlight pours in and makes the floors reflect rainbows.”

“I would love to see it, but I enjoy my beauty sleep,” Changmin responded with a laugh, leaning forward ever so slightly to drop his head.

The two continued to sit there, whispering about what hobbies they liked and sharing stories from their childhood. Changmin talked about how when he was younger he wanted to be an idol, but it seemed unlikely so he wanted to be a choreographer instead. Juyeon shared that when he was younger he wanted to become a professional dancer, and he took dance classes up until he decided to be a nun.

“Can’t you take classes now?” Changmin asked, tilting his head in the process.

Juyeon let his head fall slightly, shaking his head no. “We aren’t allowed to listen to any music that doesn’t mention the Lord. I miss it a lot, and I think it’s a bit of a silly rule considering if I did dance again it would be contemporary or ballet.”

Changmin stood up from the bench he was sitting on, pulling his phone out of his pocket and staring at it. He typed something out and then placed the phone on the bench, the soft sound of a classical song playing that Juyeon couldn’t name off the top of his head.

He looked up at Changmin in confusion, unsure of what Changmin was expecting from him. Juyeon sighed to himself when the boy reached a hand out to Juyeon, requesting a dance by doing a small bow and laughing, “May I have this dance?”

“I’m really not supposed to,” Juyeon responded, the internal battle of what he should be doing loud in his head and drowning out the music. He knew that this was technically against what he pledged, but this rule had always seemed unreasonable. Dancing was natural to him, it was a passion of his. Even if he was meant to be humble and disregard his passions, even he should be allowed to dance, shouldn’t he?

Juyeon hesitantly lifted his hand to place in Changmin’s, standing from the bench. He laughed a bit when Changmin placed a hand gently on his waist and cupped their hands together. He was definitely taller than Changmin, so Juyeon half expected to lead the dance even if Changmin was the one to court him. “Don’t you think I’m a bit too tall to be following?”

“Of course not. It’s been a long time since you danced, so it’s only natural I lead.” Changmin waited until Juyeon placed his other hand on his shoulder to take his first step into a waltz.

It came naturally to Juyeon, following in Changmin’s footsteps to the beat of the soft music. Changmin was all smiles, looking into Juyeon’s eyes with only adoration and excitement, and Juyeon couldn’t help but smile back, a flush creeping onto his cheeks.

He hadn’t been this close with anyone in a long time, let alone with a dance partner, and he missed it. Being able to work in tandem with someone, unspoken communication with each step with small touches and minute pushes and pulls, was something he always loved. Here Juyeon was, experiencing intimacy and communication with Changmin like they had been dance partners for years.

The song came to a close, Changmin using his hand to have Juyeon twirl their dance to an end, the both of them laughing at the slow dance. Juyeon’s twirl had knocked his veil off his head, hair messy and uncovered. He picked up the veil from the floor as he returned to his bench, placing it next to him.

“Thank you, Changmin. I enjoyed that very much.”

“Mmn,” Changmin hummed in response, taking a step forward and leaning over to fix Juyeon’s messy hair. He smoothed out the top and ruffled Juyeon’s bangs so they weren’t stuck together on his forehead.

He brushed some of Juyeon’s bangs to the side, letting his fingers linger on Juyeon’s cheek. Changmin moved slowly, waiting for Juyeon to stop him or push his hand away, but all Juyeon did was look up at him and parted his lips ever so slightly. He cupped Juyeon’s cheek, using his thumb to brush the skin softly and glance down at his lips.

Juyeon leaned into the warmth of Changmin’s hand on his face, grasping onto his wrist with shaky hands as he battled with himself over his principles. He wanted to pull Changmin’s hand away, but the warmth and comfort of physical touch he hadn’t experienced since he was a teenager was enough to convince himself not to.

“This is nice.” Juyeon’s eyes fluttered shut, turning his head ever so slightly to place more of his face in Changmin’s hand. His lips touched the skin and Changmin couldn’t help but take in a breath at the feeling.

“Look at me,” Changmin whispered, taking another step forward until he was as close as possible to Juyeon while still standing. Juyeon opened his eyes, moving his head and pouting ever so slightly when Changmin’s hand left his cheek to rest under his chin. “I’m going to do something, and if you don’t want me to continue, stop me.”

Juyeon’s brows furrowed together in confusion when Changmin tilted his head up even more. He sucked in a breath when Changmin leaned over Juyeon until their faces were so close that Juyeon could feel Changmin’s breath touch his lips.

Their soft breaths mingled between them, Changmin leaning forward even more until their lips just barely touched. Changmin parted his lips ever so slightly, his eyes closing as Juyeon’s grip on Changmin’s wrist tightened. Juyeon’s eyes closed when Changmin leaned in to finally mold their lips together in a soft kiss.

It lasted only a second before Juyeon pulled away, letting his head lower but grasping onto Changmin’s wrist to keep his hand on his cheek. His nails dug into Changmin’s skin ever so slightly before he lifted his head up and let his lips brush against Changmin’s for the second time.

“Again.”

Changmin pressed their lips together, moving his hand to Juyeon’s cheek to pull him further into the kiss. Their lips parted between movements, Juyeon letting out soft pants when the kiss was broken only to be cut off with another. Changmin’s lips against his own were soft and warm, the push and pull of the deep kiss reminding him of their dance.

That’s all it was. A dance of a different variety.

Juyeon moved his hands to rest on Changmin’s hips, pulling him closer subconsciously, humming into the kiss at how nice it felt to have Changmin’s lips against his own. His body was fighting against his brain, wanting desperately for more but knowing he shouldn’t. Everything was too much, too overwhelming, too pleasurable.

The sound of the church doors closing with a loud bang made both of them jump, the kiss breaking in the process. Juyeon turned to look out from the choir balcony, the girl who had come in now gone from the pew she was once sitting in.

He turned to look up at Changmin, the boy still cupping Juyeon’s cheek and waiting patiently for Juyeon to say or do something. Juyeon grasped Changmin’s hand and pushed it away from his face, standing to his feet and quickly placing his veil back on.

“I think you should go, Changmin.”

Changmin blinked in shock, watching as Juyeon moved to the door and held it open to usher him back down into the main chapel. Juyeon’s eyes were closed, refusing to open them and meet eyes with Changmin.

“Are you upset with me?”

“No,” Juyeon quickly responded, taking a deep, taxing breath. “I’m upset with myself.”

Not wanting to make things worse, Changmin quickly passed by Juyeon’s figure down the creaky stairs and out in front of the altar. He walked down the aisle in a rush, steps echoing loudly in the empty church. When Changmin opened the door to leave he glanced over his shoulder to see Juyeon kneeling at the altar, muttering his rosary prayers to himself.

Every moment after that kiss, Juyeon felt guilty. He prayed, he cried, he begged for forgiveness at the altar every moment he had to himself. Juyeon was too ashamed, too afraid to tell the Priest of his sins. Serving the Lord was what he pledged to do, and he was terrified of being stripped of that over what he considered to be an accident.

Juyeon had never been in love, even during high school the most he had was fleeting crushes that disappeared in a few weeks. Changmin was the same. He wasn’t someone to risk his duties over, and Juyeon didn’t love him. It wasn’t the boy he liked, but the experience.

He liked having Changmin’s hand on his waist, holding him tightly as they danced. Liked having Changmin’s lips pressed hungrily against his own.

Guilt.

That was what Juyeon felt.

Changmin had said directly that if Juyeon wanted him to stop, all he had to do was make that known.

Yet, he didn’t.

Juyeon cursed himself when his weekend shifts came around, begging for the Lord to pity him enough to not have Changmin walk through those doors. He was required to be hospitable. It would be disrespectful for Juyeon to turn Changmin away from the church over personal matters, but this was all too overwhelming.

He was grateful when Changmin never appeared, but it didn’t ease his burden. Every waking hour Juyeon had was spent repenting, over and over again, then feeling guilty over not directly admitting to his faults. Even his dreams were being plagued by Changmin’s touch, and soon the guilt settled into regularity.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel irresponsible for going against some of the pledges he made, because he did. Instead, the thoughts and desires were so constant he learned to push them away. As long as he didn’t act on them, what was the harm in feeling normal human desires?

That was the point of being human, to learn how to face temptation and overcome it. In this case, his temptation — his apple — was Changmin.

Humans felt desire, it was instinctual to do so. Juyeon was human, he was imperfect, and he no longer let the thoughts take over his mind and cloud his duties in the church. When he was alone and felt those pleasures bubble up, the desire to have Changmin kiss him once again, he let them simmer until he was satisfied and then continued with his day.

Juyeon’s pleading with the Lord to keep Changmin away soon turned into prayers for him to return.

He sat in the very front pew, eyes closed and dozing off. It had been quite a few weeks since anyone had come during the night hours for prayer or sanctuary, and Juyeon hadn’t been getting the best sleep recently. Plus, if he did happen to fall asleep for a little while, the doors of the chapel were loud enough to wake him up.

The tap on his shoulder made him jump, his body jolting awake and his hand instinctively moving to grasp whatever had touched him. Juyeon was on the defense, scared from being woken from his slumber by something other than the loud door.

Juyeon sighed, letting his grip soften and then fall back into his lap. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I can be light on my feet.”

Changmin sat down next to Juyeon, ample space between them, and threw an arm up on the backrest of the pew. The silence settled between them, Juyeon sat with perfect posture facing the altar. He hated that the tension was so thick between them, that this was the first time they had seen each other in over a month.

He wanted to say so much to Changmin, to talk with him about the relationship they had and how he wasn’t sure how he felt. Juyeon had spent so long debating with himself whether or not he would want to reject any further advances or ask for more, and he never really made a decision. Maybe if he just talked it through then he could finally make up his mind and—

“I’m sorry.”

Juyeon blinked in shock, turning his head to finally look at Changmin’s figure. He didn’t return the gaze, continuing to stare up at the crucifix on the altar. “Wh—What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

All Changmin could do was let out a scoff with a smile, letting his head fall with a nod, “Is that what you’ve been telling yourself?” He shook his head, lifting a hand to run through his hair. Changmin was stressed, or nervous, or both, Juyeon couldn’t tell. “Obviously, I did something wrong if you asked me to leave.”

The guilt was back, and it wasn’t for sin.

“Listen, Changmin. I—” Juyeon gulped, reaching out a hand and placing it on Changmin’s thigh softly. The touch was nice, having the warmth of someone else to comfort him while he confessed what was on his mind. “I just didn’t know how to respond. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

Changmin placed a hand onto Juyeon’s, thumb moving against the skin to comfort Juyeon. With the way Changmin sighed and leaned his head against his head, Juyeon began to wonder if the comfort was for himself.

“It’s been so many years since I’ve had anyone… touch me— And I don’t want you to think I didn’t like it because I did. I liked it so much. Even though I know it’s against the rules, and I’m not supposed to, this whole time I’ve just been wanting you—”

“Shut up,” Changmin muttered, leaning over and pulling Juyeon into a messy kiss. He shoved his hands under Juyeon’s veil, pushing it off and letting it fall to the floor so he could tangle his fingers in Juyeon’s hair.

Juyeon gripped tightly onto Changmin’s shirt when he felt Changmin’s tongue prod against his lips, earning a gasp and then shoving itself inside Juyeon’s mouth. He tasted like wine and candy, Juyeon whining when Changmin’s tongue pushed and swirled around his own. It was intoxicating, addicting, a taste that Juyeon had never experienced before. No wine was this sweet, nothing to bring him to such a high.

He needed more.

The room suddenly felt so hot, Juyeon gasping at his body overheating. Changmin’s lips against his own burned in the best way, the heat welcoming even if it was uncomfortable. When the kiss broke, Changmin kissed Juyeon’s cheek down to his jaw, the feeling of Changmin’s lips dragging against skin pulling a small moan from Juyeon.

“You know,” Changmin muttered against Juyeon’s neck, sucking gently on the skin. “Giving into desire feels good.”

“Everything feels hot…” Juyeon panted, wrapping his arms around Changmin’s neck for support. His body felt weak, his head fuzzy. “Help me, Changmin. Please…”

Changmin chuckled against the skin, biting gently against the most sensitive part of Juyeon’s neck. “You’re still fighting against your desire. The more you fight it the more it’ll be uncomfortable for the both of us.”

“What do I—”

“Come with me.”

Juyeon’s body writhed when Changmin’s touch left his body, chasing his touch again to relieve the heat spreading through every inch of skin. Changmin grasped his hand and led him up to the altar, making Juyeon face him. He slipped Juyeon’s hand under his shirt to feel his stomach before pulling Juyeon toward him to shove his tongue in his mouth.

Relief.

Changmin’s skin was cold, that warmth that Juyeon was so used to, that he desperately craved, was gone. His body was cool to the touch, Juyeon desperately tried to press every inch of his body against Changmin’s skin to balance how hot he felt all over. Their lips disconnected, a line of spit falling between them.

“Hot…” It was cute, the way Juyeon whimpered and was desperate for relief. Changmin hadn’t seen this level of lust and desire in a long, long time, and he craved to see more of it. He wanted to see Juyeon’s eyes lidded, begging for Changmin to help him. “Why do I feel like this…?”

It was all a matter of time, so long as Juyeon was cooperative.

“Juyeon.” Changmin’s voice no longer was soft and gentle, more of a command for Juyeon to keep all his attention on him instead of the heat in his system. He lifted a hand to caress Juyeon’s cheek, a sparkle in Changmin’s eyes that Juyeon couldn’t place. “You’re still holding back.”

“I’m not, I swear.”

Changmin sighed to himself, looking around the altar until his eyes settled on the golden chalice shimmering under the low light. He let go of Juyeon to reach over and grab it, pulling the chalice to his lips and tipping it back to take a large sip of the wine inside. With a hum at the taste, he held the chalice in front of Juyeon. “Subconsciously, you’re still preventing yourself from doing what you want. Your body won’t move even when it wants more.”

“Drinking this,” he continued, guiding Juyeon’s chin upward and tilting the chalice over his mouth, “will force your mind to give into your desires. It hurts, doesn’t it? Juyeon, your desire is the strongest I’ve ever seen, and this can help soothe your body so it stops fighting against me.”

The hand under Juyeon’s chin moved, Changmin placing his thumb against Juyeon’s lips to gently prying them open. He couldn’t help but chuckle when Juyeon’s body didn’t hesitate, pliable under his touch. “If you don’t, that heat is going to get worse, and neither of us would have fun with you writhing in pain from your lust.”

Lust?

Juyeon’s mind was running on hyperdrive, trying to understand everything going on. This feeling was lust. He finally understood that. A feeling he had kept trapped for so long underneath these robes, never once touching himself despite how many times his cock hurt from his fantasies. It was overwhelming, all of the lust and desire he had suppressed over several years flooding back into his body all at once.

His skin was so hot it burned, his body shaking from overstimulation at the heat becoming too much for him to bear. Juyeon looked at Changmin, taking in the sight of the man holding his head in place and staring into his soul. His eyes glowed yellow and Juyeon sunk into them, hypnotized by the hue.

“What… are you?”

“I feed off desire, Juyeon. Yours just happens to be lust.” Changmin’s expression didn’t once change, a stone cold expression that Juyeon couldn’t read. This was what the true Changmin was like, no hint of humanity in him, but instead something occult. “Nothing you feel has been from something I did. You’ve always wanted this, Juyeon. I simply pulled your desires to the surface instead of letting you suppress them.”

Juyeon whined softly, his mind knowing everything Changmin said was true. He had always been in need, pushing back his sexuality and libido since he was a child. Changmin didn’t make him feel these things, they were always there stirring under the surface, begging for Juyeon to give into them.

Changmin leaned forward to press his lips against Juyeon’s neck, the scent of desire filling his senses and making his hunger grow. He could tell that this desire was going to be the tastiest meal he’s ever had, and all Juyeon had to do was concede. “Use your words. Tell me what you want.”

The air in Juyeon’s lungs grew thick, suffocating his voice as he lost his restraint. Changmin’s voice was low and deep, demanding he answer, and that power was enough to have Juyeon weak at the knees. He let out a shaky breath, and finally whispered the sentence he wanted to say from the first moment he laid eyes on Changmin.

“Corrupt me.”

A droplet of wine fell on Juyeon’s tongue and in an instant the burning on his skin dissipated. Changmin continued to pour wine onto Juyeon’s tongue, filling his mouth with the same sweet taste he couldn’t place, his desire creating its own swirl of flavors.

The wine overflowed from his lips when the chalice was emptied, trickling down his chin as he swallowed the liquid. Juyeon moved to wipe away the excess, but Changmin beat him to it, using his tongue to lick up Juyeon’s neck all the way to his lips with a hum. “You’re delicious.”

“Don’t say things like that,” Juyeon panted, his body overwhelmed with lust filling his every nerve. He grasped tightly onto Changmin, giving into his need by grinding his hips against Changmin’s and letting out a moan in the process. “God, you feel so good.”

Teeth grazed Juyeon’s neck, nipping at the skin as Changmin’s hands pulled Juyeon’s attire down around his shoulders, exposing the pale and unblemished skin. He trailed his lips down to kiss every inch of skin Juyeon was offering to him, pushing their hips together until Juyeon was trapped between him and the altar.

Changmin sucked and nipped at all of Juyeon’s skin until it was spotted in bruises, his hands reaching down to pull the bottom of his robes up to his hips so he could slip his hands under them. He squeezed Juyeon’s thighs, admiring the sigh that fell from his lips as Juyeon wrapped his arms around Changmin’s neck for stability.

“Doesn’t this kind of desire feel so much better, Juyeon?” The heat that had once taken over Juyeon’s body had changed into a different feeling, his body hot from Changmin’s touch making it react in arousal. “It’ll feel so much better when you finally release all your need, and I’m going to ensure you do more than once.”

Juyeon moaned at Changmin’s choice of words, panting as Changmin fell to his knees in front of him. He kissed Juyeon’s thighs, angling his hips outward to keep him leaned against the altar but far enough for Changmin’s lips to trail higher. Changmin’s fingers quickly dipped into Juyeon’s underwear, tugging them down and letting them pool at his ankles.

“You’re pretty big,” Changmin smiled with a hearty breath, grabbing Juyeon’s dick to softly stroke it. If it wasn’t already painfully apparent that Juyeon was a virgin, the moment Changmin touched him gave it away. Juyeon let out a loud gasp, dick twitching in Changmin’s hand as his eyes widened at the feeling of pure bliss. “Relax, Juyeon. It’ll feel better if you aren’t so tense.”

They both knew that was impossible for Juyeon, Changmin asking Juyeon to hold up his robes for Changmin to have his hands free to roam the pale skin of his thighs and ass. Juyeon was good at following commands, and Changmin loved the way he was so pliable with every request.

Once Juyeon slowly got used to the feeling of his dick being stroked, Changmin finally stuck his tongue out of his mouth to lick a stripe from the base of Juyeon’s cock to the tip. He smiled when Juyeon’s head fell forward, the feeling of Changmin’s tongue being wet and warm making his body heat up all over again.

“Oh— Oh my God—”

Changmin giggled at him, letting his tongue swirl around the tip. That was when Juyeon could see more of what Changmin was hiding, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes lid in lust at the sight. His tongue was longer than any human’s should be, more pointed at the tip, and it swirled and licked Juyeon like it needed to taste more of him.

When Changmin sunk his mouth on Juyeon’s dick, that tongue did more than Juyeon could handle. Juyeon’s entire cock fit so easily inside Changmin’s mouth, his tongue still working wonders around it. Warm, wet, and molded perfectly against his length like it was meant to be there.

“Wait, I—” Juyeon’s thighs started to shake, one of his hands moving from his robe to grasp tightly onto Changmin’s hair in desperation. For what, he didn’t know. He wanted more but also for Changmin to stop, let his body breathe, give him a moment to ease whatever the weird feeling in his stomach was. “I feel weird, wait—”

Changmin hummed around Juyeon’s length, bobbing his head at the base with all of Juyeon stuffed into his mouth. He could feel the tip touch the back of his throat and smiled at it, knowing Juyeon was about to cum.

The feeling in Juyeon’s stomach suddenly snapped, cumming in spurts down Changmin’s throat. Juyeon tugged at Changmin’s hair to prevent it from going into his mouth, but Changmin grasped tightly at Juyeon’s ass to hold him still and savor the taste. “I-I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” Changmin smiled after he pulled off Juyeon’s cock. “You taste so fucking good and your desire is the most delicious thing I’ve had in a long time.”

Juyeon let out heavy breaths as Changmin stood to his feet, pushing their hips together again as their lips locked into a messy kiss. Changmin’s hands quickly made work of his belt and pants, pushing them down as much as he could without leaving Juyeon’s body without his warmth.

He shoved his tongue into Juyeon’s mouth as he grasped both of their cocks in his hand, stroking them together and humming at the friction. Juyeon moaned into Changmin’s mouth, wrapping his arms around Changmin’s neck to keep himself grounded. The tongue pushed into his mouth was too big to be comfortable, inhuman, but the thought alone was making his head spin.

Changmin broke the kiss, eyes glowing gold again when he licked his lips. “Turn around.”

His hands gripped tightly at Juyeon’s hips, forcing him to turn and pressing against Juyeon’s shoulder to bend him over. Changmin fell to his knees once again, patience out the window from feeding on Juyeon’s sexual need. He wasted no time in licking Juyeon’s virgin hole, the boy gasping out in surprise at the feeling.

Juyeon grasped at the altar, hips pushing back against Changmin’s tongue without trying, wanting more of that glorious feeling. It was warm and wet and stimulated Juyeon in a way he didn’t know was possible. He gasped when Changmin let a long line of spit fall into his hole and pressed a finger inside of him.

It was tight, Juyeon holding back moans from simply having something inside of him. He leaned his head against the altar, looking over his shoulder to meet eyes with Changmin. As much as Changmin was battling with his self control, wanting desperately to ruin Juyeon as soon as possible, he didn’t want to break his new toy.

“Babe,” Changmin breathed out, standing up to lean over and press his lips against Juyeon’s neck, finding where his scent was strongest and letting his teeth brush against it. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t keep being gentle with you.”

Juyeon whined as Changmin began to move his finger inside of him, easily curling to rub against that little spot inside of his ass that would make him weak in the knees. He savored the small scream Juyeon let out, the sound echoing against the chapel walls. “Let me bite you so you won’t feel the pain.”

“Please— Just do whatever you want, mmn!”

Changmin’s teeth sunk into Juyeon’s skin only enough to break it, his tongue darting out to smooth the small wound. It wasn’t much, it didn’t hurt, nothing but pure bliss spreading through Juyeon’s body like wildfire. The sensation of Changmin’s fingers in his ass quickly changed, his ass being spread open when Changmin pushed in two.

All Juyeon could do was let out a loud moan, his mouth opening while he tried to hold back the noises he so desperately wanted to make. The stretch didn’t hurt, Changmin fucking his fingers into Juyeon without any hesitation while he let spit fall into his fingers to push into Juyeon’s cute little hole.

“You squeeze my fingers so well, Juyeon.” Changmin’s fingers curled, Juyeon’s knees buckling under the intense stimulation that made his head fuzzy and vision blurry. “You’re going to be so tight around my cock.”

The pleasure Juyeon was feeling suddenly disappeared when Changmin pulled his fingers out of his ass. Changmin bent over to press his tongue to Juyeon’s ass for a second time, licking a stripe while Juyeon caught his breath. That familiarity didn’t stay for long, Changmin shoving his long tongue into Juyeon’s ass to lick his insides.

Juyeon’s moans were quick and loud, every movement of Changmin’s tongue sending bolts of pleasure throughout his body. He couldn’t keep himself up without the help of Changmin’s hands grasping tightly onto Juyeon’s waist and keeping him from moving away from his thick tongue fucking Juyeon throughly.

“Ch-Changmin…” Changmin stopped his attack on Juyeon’s body, pulling away and wiping the spit on his lips and chin away with his hand. He hummed in question for Juyeon to continue. “I want to feel you everywhere. Please…”

The way Juyeon begged made Changmin’s dick twitch in enjoyment at Juyeon letting all of his shame go. He wanted Changmin to ruin him, to fuck him senseless, and Juyeon hardly knew what any of that meant. All he knew was he wanted more and more, a greedy little whore, and that was why Changmin was so hungry for him.

His innocence had always been a performance.

Changmin slapped Juyeon’s ass, grinding his cock against Juyeon’s hole with a laugh that filled the chapel. He pressed the tip in, letting it slip past the ring of Juyeon’s tight ass, trying to suck him in farther. “I’m going to stuff you full until you’re begging for me to stop.”

One rough thrust inside and Changmin buried himself into Juyen’s, cock too big for a virgin like him to take like this without Changmin’s bitemark on Juyeon’s neck. It was his specialty to ease the pain that came from sex, and from the way he pushed a loud, broken moan from deep within Juyeon, it did exactly what he needed it to do.

Juyeon pushed himself up from the altar in an attempt not to fall to the floor in overstimulation. His body was hot and sticking with sweat, Changmin digging his nails into Juyeons shoulder to pull him up until his back was pressed against Changmin’s chest. “Can you feel me inside you, Juyeon? This is what you always wanted. A long, thick cock tearing you apart.”

“It’s so— big—”

Changmin laughed, wrapping his arms around Juyeons chest to pull their bodies close together, thrusts starting with languid strokes, hips pushing and pulling with ease. His tongue had done wonders to lube Juyeon’s ass, but it didn’t make it any less tight.

The drag was delicious, Changmin letting out hums of enjoyment every time he pulled his cock out only to push back in. Juyeon whimpered under his touch, his body begging for more when his ass squeezed around Changmin’s cock. That was enough to send Changmin over, slow thrusts turning into sharp movements.

Juyeon wanted to moan, to scream, but every noise that threatened to break free got caught in his throat. Every thrust was intense, Changmin shoving his whole dick as deep as possible and making Juyeon’s body lurch forward with every movement. If it wasn’t for Changmin’s fingers digging into the skin to keep him in place, Juyeon would’ve been knocked breathless and unable to stand.

He wasn’t going to last much longer. With Juyeon feeling so much pleasure and Changmin taking his virginity, he was going to burst in a matter of minutes. Every time Changmin moved Juyeon’s body felt jolts of uncontrollable and overwhelming pleasure, the angle making the cock inside him hit all of the sensitive areas he didn’t even know he had.

Changmin snaked the hand around Juyeon’s chest up to his neck, his fingers tangling under the beads and chain of Juyeon’s rosary in the process. He grasped onto Juyeon’s neck, the rosary pressed against the skin roughly while Changmin continued to pound into him, savoring every moan and pained noise Juyeon made.

“Fuck—!”

“Do you like that, Juyeon?” Changmin asked, pressing harder against Juyeon’s neck to cut off more of his air flow. He could hear the difference in Juyeon’s panting, going from deep and heavy to short, without rhythm. “You like hardly being able to breathe, don’t you?”

Juyeon nodded, gasping out after holding his breath for just a few seconds in an attempt to swallow and reply, but not being able to. His head felt dizzy, his vision getting fuzzy the longer Changmin’s hand was pressing against his throat, dick so far inside him he thought he might break in half.

Changmin laughed as he pulled Juyeon’s head back onto his shoulder, never letting go of the grip around Juyeon’s neck. “I can tell how much you like being choked, Juyeon. It’s so easy to have you melting under my touch. Fucking whore.”

He wanted to plead for Changmin to let him cum again, his dick starting to hurt from desperately needing release but not being able to touch himself. Juyeon couldn’t speak or breathe anything, too focused on feeling lightheaded and in complete bliss. His hands grasped onto anything he could reach, Changmin’s thighs to pull him closer and the hand around his neck that felt incredible.

“Oh, look,” Changmin whispered against Juyeon’s ear, letting his lips drag across the sensitive skin and breath tickle the area. “My hand on your throat is leaving an imprint from your rosary.”

That was all it took for Juyeon’s body to jolt, a sharp cry filling the chapel as his orgasm ripped through his body. Changmin pressed his lips against the bite mark on Juyeon’s neck, humming while he fucked Juyeon through it. Juyeon’s body shook everywhere as he came in spurts onto his robes and the floor, one last thrust pushing out the last of his cum.

Juyeon was spent, desperately needing a moment to catch his breath. Changmin pulled himself out of Juyeon’s hole and easily twisted him around, pushing him to his knees and pressing the tip of his cock against Juyeon’s open and wet lips. “Now that you’re on your knees, you can pray for forgiveness to a God that doesn’t exist.”

Changmin tugged at Juyeon’s hair, shoving his cock into his mouth just far enough to set Juyeon’s gag reflex off. He wasn't going to be good at giving head, and he didn’t know at all what to do to make Changmin feel good enough to cum, so instead Changmin rocked his hips at the pace he wanted.

Cumming was quick with the way Juyeon was inexperienced. His throat constricted and gagged against Changmin’s cock without any warning, the unexpected movements making it easy for Changmin to get lost in pleasure. Juyeon’s throat was warm and wet, spit collecting and spilling from his lips.

When Changmin felt that he was about to tip over he pulled out of Juyeon’s mouth, smearing white on his face as he stroked his cock until Juyeon was covered in it. Juyeon panted on the floor, eyes lidded with tears threatening to fall from his throat and ass being used for Changmin’s pleasure.

Through soft pants Changmin crouched to the floor to meet Juyeon in a messy kiss, not bothering to wipe any of the cum off his face or worrying about tasting it. Juyeon grasped tightly onto Changmin’s body, hands shaking from shame and ecstasy.

“You know, Juyeon.” Changmin broke the kiss and lifted his hand to Juyeon’s chin, moving his face to admire the cum that Juyeon was covered in. He smiled to himself, using a finger to wipe some off Juyeon’s cheek and pressed his fingers past the boy's lips, forcing Juyeon to taste it. “You taste divine, and I would love to keep you as mine. If you come with me, I promise I’ll take good care of you, make you feel like this every day.”

Juyeon sucked on Changmin’s finger even though the cum was long gone, sinking into those glowing golden eyes and the soft expression on Changmin’s face that made him feel small. It was impossible to say no to him, the pull of Juyeon’s need wanting more and more pleasure so long as it was Changmin giving it to him.

“Every day?”

“Multiple times a day, if you want. We both know you don’t want to be a nun, Juyeon. All you want to be fucked senseless every waking moment of your life.” Changmin pulled Juyeon to his feet, admiring the mess they made all over the altar. He smiled when Juyeon fell into his arms, eyes still desperate for attention like they always did after Changmin charmed them. “Don’t you want me to take care of you?”

The candles in the chapel flickered, a few blowing out with every second that passed. Changmin’s eyes stared straight into Juyeon’s soul, waiting for a response. Soon, the chapel was lit by a single candle placed on the altar, Changmin’s face hardly visible apart from his golden eyes.

“I do.”