Chapter Text
Hero was desperate to see Mari one last time.
He was desperate to spend one last normal day together with her. If he could have anything in the world, he'd give it all up just to have one last kiss with Mari. As the months dragged on after her death, Hero did everything he could to not forget every small detail about her.
The way her skirt rested just above her knees, how her socks would bunch up around her ankles, and her long, soft hair always made Hero’s heart flutter. Mari was always modest, but in a way, that only drew Hero deeper into her beauty. After the funeral, her parents gave him a keepsake to remember her by. Her school uniform.
He couldn’t even look at it without feeling nauseous.
They didn't feel like Mari's clothes. When unworn, they were nothing more than fabric to Hero. No different than the ones every other girl at her school wore. He’d never admit it, but he even thought about wearing them himself and looking in a mirror. There were three issues with that. First, he wouldn’t be able to take himself seriously. Just knowing he was dressed in his dead girlfriend's clothes would’ve been a massive blow to the little morale he had left. Second, he could barely even look at himself in the mirror. Hero had been running on the bare minimum of food, sleep, and exercise, so he looked pretty disheveled. Third, he couldn’t fit into them anyways. His shoulders were too broad, he was too tall for the skirt to get to the right length, and he was painfully aware the fit of clothes wouldn’t exactly be for his body type.
But… Hero was, of course, desperate to see someone even resemble Mari at this point. He thought about looking to Sunny, but quickly shut down the idea. Sunny had just lost his sister, and asking him to dress up in her clothes so Hero could be happy was downright cruel. Just thinking about Aubrey doing it him physically recoil. If someone found out he asked a young girl to dress as his girlfriend, that would only be taken the wrong way. Funny enough, the next option on his mind was Kel.
‘Yeah, right.’ What a stupid idea. Hero scoffed, staring at the same ceiling he'd been looking at for months. ‘How would I even ask?’
He looked over to Kel’s side of the room. Kel wasn’t there, he was taking a shower before bed. His clothes were always hung up in his wardrobe, a clear contrast to Hero who folded them neatly in the drawers. It would be easy to just… grab them all and move them somewhere else.
For the first time in months, Hero slowly got out of bed, as if he had to sneak around and not get caught. It wasn't so he could do the bare minimum to keep himself alive, but because he had the desire to actually do something. The more Hero thought about it, the less crazy the idea seemed.
Kel was Hero’s brother. No one would ever assume the worst of Hero if they found out he wanted Kel to wear Mari’s clothes. Hero just wanted to see the clothes filled by someone, and if it was his own brother in them, there wasn’t a risk of him hurting Kel, right? Of course not! They were brothers. No matter what happened, Hero was confident that they could always bounce back to normal.
He opened Kel’s wardrobe and grabbed everything hung up with coat hangers to hide them. If Kel didn’t have any other option but to wear Mari’s clothes, Hero wouldn’t even have to ask the awkward question! He brought them to his own wardrobe and threw them in, not caring about making sure they were neat first.
With a deep breath, Hero bent down to grab the box of Mari’s clothes from under his bed.
His hands shook as he walked the box back over to Kel’s side of the room and placed it at the edge of the bed for Kel to see once he got out of the shower. He thought about opening it and displaying the clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at them. Not before they were on Kel.
Hero cursed himself out for doing this. Kel would probably be incredibly confused and probably disgusted at the thought of wearing Mari’s clothes, but if he didn’t have any other option, there wasn't much else he could do.
If Hero continued to think about it, he would’ve backed out, so instead, he rushed back to his bed and resumed staring at the ceiling. Recently, his brain had been clouded with depression, but now, it felt like through those clouds, a small drop of sunlight was making its way through. Was it hope? Who knows. Hero surely didn’t.
It wasn’t long after that before Kel walked into their room with a towel around his waist and his hair dripping wet. He flicked the light on to be able to see, making Hero wince. “Sorry, Hero…” He mumbled. Kel had been walking on eggshells around Hero like any wrong move would make him explode since Mari died. Being coddled like that annoyed Hero, but it didn’t matter right now.
All that was on his mind was what Kel was gonna do once he realized the situation he was in.
Kel pulled open his wardrobe. “Huh?” He looked around the wardrobe and under his bed for anything to wear, even if it was dirty. As a last resort, he took a deep breath. “Hero, have you seen my clothes?” He asked, clearly on edge, not knowing how Hero would respond if he responded at all.
“Nope.” Hero deadpanned.
“But… all of mine are gone. Did mom and dad come in and take them to the laundry room?” Kel was extremely confused at why they would do this, but he couldn’t think of any other explanation.
“I don’t know, Kel…” Hero’s voice had no emotion in it, but Kel had unfortunately grown used to that.
With a heavy sigh, Kel questioned further. “Well, can I borrow some of yours?”
Hero paused to think for a second. He couldn't put his finger on it, but a small part of him lit up at the thought of Kel wearing his clothes. He quickly shook the feeling off. That wasn’t the goal here. “…No” Though didn’t have a good reason, he knew Kel wouldn’t pry. If Hero didn’t want to be pestered, it was best to leave it at that.
Noticing the box on the edge of his bed, Kel sat down next to it and put it on his lap. “What’s this?”
There was a long pause while Kel ripped the packing tape off the box to peek inside. He reasoned with himself that if it didn’t belong to him, Hero would’ve spoken up before Kel could open it.
Kel’s heart sank once he got the top of the box off. “Crap… I didn’t mean to- I didn’t know—“ He closed the box again and re-adjusted his towel before walking over to Hero, box in hand. “This was on my bed… I’m sorry I opened it, but I—“
“Keep it.” Hero interrupted. Kel’s eyes widened, he almost looked disgusted with Hero.
“Hero… don’t be like that. They… they wanted you to have it, it wouldn’t be right for me—“
“Not like you have anything else to wear, right?” It was subtle, but Hero’s face did lighten up a bit. The corners of his lips just slightly curved, and though it couldn’t quite be called a smile, it was just shy of being a smirk.
Kel laughed awkwardly to soothe the tension. After all, Hero had to be kidding, right? “Heheh, yeah right. I’ll just... set this right here, okay?” Kel bent down to place the box next to Hero’s feet at the edge of his bed, but Hero shocked him by sitting up in his bed and looking Kel in the eyes.
“You…” Hero swallowed. Almost every part of himself was screaming at him to stop, that this was wrong, but he only listened to the one that agreed with him to keep going. “You should wear them.”
Wear them? No. Kel must’ve been mistaken. Kel stepped back with the box, looking Hero up and down with a concerned look on his face. “Stop.” A terrible feeling started to bubble up inside him and his face flushed at the suggestion.
Hero shrugged and layed back down on the bed, facing away from Kel. “Alright, just stay in your towel all night. I don’t mind.”
“Where did you put my clothes?” Kel didn’t want to get confrontational with Hero in the emotional state he was in, but he wasn’t dumb enough to play along with this either.
“I don’t—“
“Yes you do. Where are they? Give them back!” Kel demanded, raising his voice from being soft-spoken and attempting to be gentle to growling in frustration.
“I’ll give them back if you put her clothes on.” Hero never broke eye contact as he spoke, but Kel was doing everything he could to avoid it.
Kel looked down at the box in his hands, then back at Hero. “What’s wrong with you? Hero, I’m getting worried. Why do you want me to do this?”
Not seeing any issue with telling the truth about the situation, Hero decided to give the short, sanitized version of the story. “I just... I want to see Mari again, the clothes alone aren’t enough, I need someone to wear them, and you… you’re the only one here for me. You wouldn't mind, right...?”
Biting the inside of his cheek, Kel tried to comprehend what Hero was saying. “Isn’t there anything else I can do? I feel like wearing her clothes might be, I don’t know… disrespectful?” Putting on a dead girls clothes, dressing like her, for his brother?
“She wouldn’t mind.” He didn’t have a single clue if that was true or not. He didn’t know if she would be happy Hero wanted to remember her, disgusted that he was doing it in such a weird way, or just wouldn’t care at all.
“And…” Kel looked out the window. He could see Sunny and Mari’s backyard. “You’re sure this is the only thing I can do to help?”
“If you don’t want to help me you don’t have to, Kel.” Hero didn’t mean for his words to come out in such a harsh delivery. He tried to force a comforting smile to lighten the mood.
Stepping forward, as if to interrupt Hero’s thought process, Kel decided. “It wouldn’t hurt, I guess?” An awkward couple of minutes would be worth it to Kel if it meant Hero would get a little more life back into him.
For the first time since Mari died, Hero gave Kel a genuine smile. It wasn’t a forced grin, just a look of pure appreciation for what Kel was doing for him. It made Kel feel a little better about what he was about to do. “What’d I do to deserve you?”
“Heh, don’t worry about it, really!” Kel smiled back, ignoring his gut feeling. “I don’t mind if it’s just a few minutes.”
Just a few minutes. Kel walked over to his side of the room and Hero had his eyes locked onto him. It was already awkward, but it made Kel feel even more awkward dressing up in Mari’s clothes in front of Hero.
“Can you… turn around?” The feeling of Hero’s eyes on him, watching his every move, bothered Kel. Like bugs crawling all over his skin and burrowing inside him. Begrudgingly, Hero faced the wall away from Kel. He didn’t know why, but he kind of wanted to watch Kel get dressed.
Kel pulled the white button-up shirt out of the box and let it unravel from being folded to look at it. Everything was screaming at him that this was wrong, wrong, wrong, but he didn’t listen. He pulled the sleeves over his arms, noting how loose they were on him. Mari was taller than Kel before she died, so she wore bigger sizes than him too, not to mention it wasn’t designed for his scrawny body type. As he buttoned it up, he realized that near the chest and around his hips were especially loose.
He tried not to think about the implications of that too hard.
Next, he took the pleated skirt from the box. He felt his face getting hot, he really didn’t want to wear the skirt. It was embarrassing enough that he had to wear it at all, but knowing it was Mari’s old skirt really made him cringe. Regardless, he stepped into the skirt and pulled it up so it rested on his hips. It was made for a feminine-framed body and was about to fall off of his scrawny figure, so he hiked it up to tuck the button-up into the skirt. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t going to fall off from the slightest movement anymore.
The uniform wasn’t complete yet, but Kel caught a look at himself in the mirror. He thought he looked absurd in these baggy girls clothes. From a glance, he could pass as a tomboy to strangers. He pushed away the thought and moved on to the next layer.
So, he pulled the dark, navy blue sweater vest over his head. The clothes felt a little more comfortable when tightened by the layers, but they still made Kel feel small inside them. Both the humiliation and heavy clothes made him start to sweat. The shame he was feeling while wearing these clothes made him want to cry, but he sucked it up. He was almost done, he just had to figure out how to tie the bow around his neck.
His fingers were shaking as he pulled the red strand of fabric to the collar of the shirt and began to tie a bow. Well, he attempted to tie it at least, but his eyes were watering and the angle was awkward, so he gave up and threw the ribbon back on the bed in frustration. “I’m done…”
Hero turned back around to look at Kel. He foolishly expected to see a perfect replica of Mari, but what he didn’t expect was that he would enjoy what he saw much more.
Hero simply saw Kel wearing a schoolgirl's uniform.
For a second, he was stuck frozen staring at Kel, but once he was over the initial shock, he stood up and took a step towards Kel. “Woah…”
“Can you not stare?” Kel asked, hugging his arms against his body to conceal what he could.
“I’m sorry, I just…” Hero took another step closer. “I kinda like how you look in her clothes.”
“I don’t…” Kel turned his head away and closed his eyes. “When can I get my clothes back?”
Hero could barely focus on what Kel was saying and didn’t care much for conversation at the moment, either. “Can I hug you?”
Kel’s eyelids parted slightly to give Hero a side-eye. “You don’t have to ask…” A small part of him craved that physical affection Hero used to give him before Mari died. Come to think of it, Kel couldn’t name a single time Hero laid a finger on him since then.
Without wasting a second, Hero took the last step needed forward and squeezed Kel tight against his body. To his surprise, Kel hugged back. “Thank you so, so much, Kel. I love you…”
Kel smiled. It had been a while since Hero had hugged him or told him he cared, so even though his body was still so tense, he didn’t mind. “I love you too, Hero… but you’re hugging really tight!”
“Ah! Sorry!” Hero released him and took a step backwards before noticing something was missing. “Where’s the bow?”
Kel pointed to the bed. “I couldn’t tie it from this angle, I didn’t think it would affect the… look? I dunno...” Kel fidgeted with his hands but was startled when Hero grabbed his shoulders and sat him down on the bed.
“I’ll tie it for you.” It wasn’t just a kind offer. Hero had said that so it would come of as a demand, not a gesture. Kel didn’t protest or resist, he had no reason to, so Hero grabbed the red fabric and bent down in front of Kel to wrap it around his collar. Kel had his eyes closed, embarrassed as to what was happening. “You can open your eyes, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Kel obliged, opening his eyes but looking away from Hero. He fixated on a random spot on the floor to hopefully make this go faster. The basketball on the ground, the pile of clothes on Hero’s half of the room, the empty water bottles, anything to not look at Hero. Hero looked laser-focused, but his hands were just as shaky as Kel’s when he tried to tie it himself. It didn’t help that Hero had also started to breathe heavily through his mouth. Kel could feel the hot breath on his face. Why did this feel so intimate?
Finally, Hero finished tying the bow a bit tighter than Kel expected, but it didn’t cut off circulation or make it hard to breathe, so he didn’t complain. Hero fixed his posture and stepped back to admire his work.
”How do I look?” Kel asked with a sheepish smile, trying to find the funny parts of what he knew was a disgusting situation.
It must’ve been that sheepish smile that threw Hero over the edge.
Like some kind of animal, Hero lunged forward and grabbed Kel’s shoulders, pushing him down on the bed and forcing him into a kiss. Kel began to kick, but he wasn’t big or strong enough to fight off his brother yet. He made noises of protest, he wasn’t being quiet at all about the distress he was feeling. Hero either ignored them or took them the wrong way. Seeing that wasn’t working, Kel shook his head to make it harder for Hero to kiss him, and though it worked, it didn’t change the fact he was still hovering over Kel and holding him down, though. Hero pulled away, leaving Kel’s lips covered in his saliva.
“Get off of me!” Kel shouted. Hero covered Kel’s mouth with his hand to prevent him from alerting their parents. Kel began struggling, attempting to bite his hand to get it off his mouth and away from his face.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Hero leaned down to kiss Kel’s forehead and Kel slammed his eyes shut. “Don’t scream, do you really want mom and dad to see you like this? To see us like this?”
Slowly, Kel’s eyes opened back up with terror. He didn’t want anybody to see him dressed in Mari’s clothes. Not his mom, not his dad, not himself, and especially not Hero. If his parents saw this happening, he doubted they’d take his side or understand what was truly happening. He gently shook his head to say no.
“Okay, I’m going to take my hand away.” Hero tried to be comforting with his tone. “If you scream again, I’ll use something else to shut you up.” God. Those words were spat out carelessly like venom, he wished he could take them back, but it didn’t matter. Kel wasn’t going to yell anymore. Hero slowly lifted his hand.
Kel’s lips were quivering, obviously trying not to cry. “Why? Hero, why?” His voice was hushed, almost a whisper.
Hero didn’t really have a reason why. It was just an impulse. “I don’t know…”
“Please get off.” Kel pleaded. “Don’t do anymore, I don’t want this.”
His request was ignored. Hero lowered his head to start kissing Kel again, but Kel turned his head to the side to dodge it. It didn’t matter, though. Hero just decided to kiss along Kel’s neck, throwing in some bites every once in a while. Uncomfortable noises constantly gurgled out of Kel’s throat. His neck was ticklish and sensitive, and Hero knew this. Hero knew exactly where would get the right reaction from the years of roughhousing as children.
“S-Stop!” Kel’s voice raised in pitch and he whined. Hero started to suck on Kel’s neck. He surely would’ve been leaving some marks. “People will… mom and dad will see the…!”
“Tell them you have a girlfriend, they’ll understand.” Hero grabbed Kel’s head and yanked his hair down, forcing Kel to expose more of his neck. “They did with me when I came home with hickies that one time.”
“No, they won’t! You don’t get it… you’ll never get it…” Kel was starting to sniffle, but he wouldn’t let the tears fall.
Hero almost felt bad for Kel, but he was in too deep now to quit. “Kel, trust me. I’ve been through everything you’re going through right now—“
A slap was wiped across Hero’s face the moment his guard was let down even a little. Hero let go of Kel’s shoulders to touch the sting that lingered from his hand. In that moment, Kel was able to push Hero off of him, running into the corner of his side of the room. Hero didn’t want to get mad, but his frustration came out through his voice. “That hurt!” He winced when he touched the slap mark.
Kel’s breathing was fast and unstable as he got as far away from Hero as possible without crossing the room or exiting it all together. Just as Hero was about to step closer, Kel grabbed the basketball he left on the floor. For once, not cleaning his side of the room was a positive. “Stay back! I don’t want you near me!”
Hero knew Kel was bluffing. He kept walking forward toward Kel and instead of throwing the ball in self-defense, he simply got low to the ground, too scared to see the consequence of attacking Hero and missing. Or worse, it not deterring him at all. “Why are you so jumpy?”
Kel was dumbfounded. “Are you… are you kidding me!?” He raised his voice, it was close to being a shout but not quite. After all, wasn't it obvious why he was so scared? “D-don’t come any closer!”
Hero didn’t need to come closer, he was already towering over Kel. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not even gonna do anything to you.”
“You already hurt me!” Kel looked horrified, like Hero was going to devour him.
“You’re not hurt, Kel.” Hero rolled his eyes. “Come on, get up, you’re fine.”
With shaking legs, Kel slowly stood up from his cowering position. He held the ball like he was about to pass it, hoping to look threatening and make Hero believe he would throw it at him without hesitation.
“Put the ball down,” Kel’s only ‘defense mechanism’ was grabbed out of his hands and thrown onto the floor. It didn’t even become a struggle, he might as well have just given the ball to Hero. Kel could only look down at the ground, thinking about what action to take next. “Come on.” Hero grabbed Kel’s wrist and pulled him back over to the bed.
Kel wiped his eyes before the tears could leave them. “Can you stop—“ His question (or plea, you could call it), was cut short. Once again, Kel was pushed back down onto the bed. Instead of being held down by his shoulders, his wrists were pinned above his head with Hero’s left hand. With his right, he was feeling up Kel’s skirt. Kel was painfully aware of the fact he hadn’t been able to put on his boxers after getting dressed, considering they were all stolen. “No!”
“No what, Kel?” Hero hummed, rubbing his hand along the inside of Kel’s thighs.
“Don’t touch… it.” Kel couldn’t say it out loud. He felt too dirty and ashamed.
Hero, however, had no problems with saying it. “Don’t touch what? Your dick?” Kel’s eyes widened. He’s heard Hero swear, but he’s never said that around him. It made his skin crawl, but Kel nodded. “Okay, I won’t.”
“Really!?” Kel felt a strange sense of relief. He shouldn’t have, considering all Hero did was respect one of Kel’s requests. A few tears started to spill, but he wasn’t sobbing quite yet. It was just like a nice release of tension.
“But…” Just like that, Hero had put Kel right back on edge. “You have to touch me.”
Immediately, all the tension came flooding back. “No.”
“Okay, then I just have to…” Hero trailed off as he glided his hand back up Kel’s thigh, making him hold his breath. “…Touch here to make up for it.”
Hero just barely brushed his hands on Kel’s dick, making him jolt. Hero pulled his hand back with a smile, but Kel only glared back. “If you touch me, I’m going to scream.” He threatened, though had no intention of following through.
The grin was instantly wiped off Hero’s face. Even with his warning to Kel earlier, he still worried about the reaction their parents would have to seeing this. “Please don’t… but you still have to choose one to do. We can’t stop now.”
‘Who is we?’ Kel thought, clenching his jaw. Still, he gave his answer. “I’ll touch you, but please, just… don’t touch me back.” His glare softened, showing how scared the boy truly was. Kel didn’t want to touch Hero. All he wanted was for both of them to wake up from this nightmare. By letting this continue, Kel knew things would never be the same, but perhaps they crossed that line when Hero made him put on the uniform in the first place. Or, had things become irreversible when Mari passed? Kel couldn’t tell where this shift in Hero’s desires came from.
“Good, good… you’re so good, Kel.” Hero took his hand out from under Kel’s skirt and pulled him to sit up. “You’re not gonna have to do anything, I’ll do it all for you, okay?”
“…mhm” Kel just wanted to get this over with, so he didn’t protest when Hero took his hand in his own, guiding it towards Hero’s groin. Hero slipped Kel’s hands down his loose sweatpants and wrapped both of their hands around his dick. Kel wanted to throw up. Why was he doing this? What was he gaining?
“F-Fuck… your hands are so warm.” Hero moaned as he helped Kel stroke himself slowly, pushing his hips forward at every movement. Kel didn’t listen, he just let Hero do what he wanted. If he cooperated, Hero would have to stop eventually. Kel was done dragging this out.
“…oh” was the only response Kel could give to Hero’s praise. His wrist was starting to get sore from the way Hero was bending it, but he didn’t speak up. It only got worse when Hero began to speed up the tempo, slightly rocking the bed below them
Heavy gasps and quiet sniffles were the only noises that could be heard from the two brothers. Hero grinded up into both of their hands. It took all of Kel’s willpower to not yank his hand away. He was already resisting the urge to run.
“Think you c-could do this on your own now?” Hero panted.
Even though Kel probably could, he refused to make any hand movements on his own. “No.”
These simple, one-word responses were starting to irritate Hero, but he took a deep breath and brushed it off. “That’s okay, I’m here for you, I’ll never hurt you.”
That was when Kel started to sob.
He didn’t dare pull the hand Hero was using away, but constantly kept wiping the tears and snot from his face with the other. Kel secretly hoped this breakdown would trigger Hero to stop, but it was like Hero didn’t even notice. I’ll never hurt you. That had to be a lie, right? This did hurt. Maybe not physically, but did that matter? Kel didn’t know. Did Hero even believe himself when he spoke those words?
He didn’t notice at first when Hero had let go of his hand and pulled it away from him, but he couldn’t exactly be thankful for it. Instead, Hero laid Kel on his back once more and straddled him. One arm held him up, and the other continued to jerk off over Kel. He had pulled down the front of his pants to make it easier, exposing himself. Kel quickly turned his head upwards, doing everything he could to avoid looking at Hero’s genitalia.
The sound of his crying was a garbled mess of choked sobs and gross hiccups. No matter how much Kel tried to pull himself together, the tears wouldn’t stop.
“Kel…!” Hero moaned under his breath. “G-God… you kinda look cute when you’re crying...”
Horrified that his hysteria had been nothing but a turn-on for Hero, he covered his face with his arm to hide it. The best he could do to stop the noises was to suck the air through his teeth and hold his breath, but it didn’t matter now. Hero came, covering what was once Mari’s uniform in cum.
Could it even be called her uniform anymore? The second Kel put it on, it seemed to have detached itself from her in Hero’s mind.
Speaking of Hero, now he was laying next to Kel, satisfied from the high he got from his orgasm.
“…Hero?” Kel’s voice was crackly from all the crying.
“Yes, Kel?” Hero turned to look at Kel with a smile. A smile Kel had wanted to see from Hero for a long time, but now that he had gotten it, it only made his stomach churn.
“Are you done?” Kel asked. Even after Hero finished, he hadn’t dared move an inch.
“Huh? Oh, I guess so.” Hero shrugged. Kel sat back up, trying not to touch anything, and stood up. “Your clothes are in my wardrobe, you can go change.”
The only response Hero got was a nod. Kel walked over to the opposite side of the room and pulled open Hero’s wardrobe, grabbing a random pair of boxers to put on. He took the skirt off without even making sure Hero wasn’t looking and replaced it with the boxers. Careful not to touch Hero’s cum or permanently stain Mari’s old sweater vest, he pulled it over his head and laid it gently on Hero’s bed. Diligently, he unbuttoned the white shirt and let it fall on the ground. He could almost feel how hard Hero was staring at him.
Not a word was exchanged while Kel undressed.
It just looked like Kel was going through the motions at this point. He walked towards the door, but Hero finally said something before he could touch the handle. “Where are you going?”
“…to shower.”
“You just took a shower, come on, lay in bed with me for a bit.” Hero’s voice was sickly sweet. It used to be a comforting tone to Kel, but now he knew it didn’t mean anything anymore.
Kel stood his ground. “I’m going to shower.” He said again, a bit more aggressive this time. Hero sighed, but let him leave. It was probably best for him to have space right now.
The bathroom was only a room away, but the walk there felt like forever this time. He knew Hero wasn’t in a good mindset, but he never thought grief would drive him to…
Kel shook his head as he opened the bathroom door. ‘It wasn’t rape… he didn’t touch me.’ He rationalized in his head. ‘It was creepy at worst, that wasn’t bad compared to an actual assault.’
Kel always thought sexual assault happens to girls in creepy alleyways from male strangers. Kel couldn’t have been assaulted, then. He was a boy (despite having been dressed as a girl), he was safe in his bedroom, and Hero wasn’t a stranger. He avoided the mirror as he walked to turn on the shower.
In Kel’s mind, he was convinced the only ‘assault’ that happened was when he slapped Hero.
Everything kept replaying in his head. How stupid he was to dress up in Mari’s clothes, he should have known that meant Hero had ulterior motives. How weak he was that he couldn’t fight off Hero, even at full strength. How pitiful he was that even when he had multiple chances to get away, to scream, or throw things at Hero, he didn’t. All because he didn’t want to deal with the shame of someone else seeing him dressed like that.
How dirty he was. If he had only thrown the ball at Hero, if he hadn’t frozen up and panicked, and if he had said no this wouldn’t have happened. He recalled saying no and telling Hero to stop multiple times, but maybe he should’ve said it louder.
Kel stepped into the shower, letting the freezing cold water hit his skin. At least if he was shivering, he wouldn’t feel as nauseous as he normally would. He couldn’t be bothered to stand in the shower for more than a minute, he just sat down on the shower floor with his knees drawn to his chest. He couldn’t even cry anymore.
30 minutes passed in the shower but Kel didn’t move an inch. He didn’t bother washing his hair or his body, instead opting to just let the cold water run over his body while he tried to process what had happened.
However, he was starting to yawn more consistently. His eyes were going from wide open with terror to drooping and half closed. He had to go back into the room eventually, right?
Kel had other plans.
There was no way he was going to sleep in the same room as Hero. He didn’t even want to go back in there at all. Instead, he grabbed two towels and kept one folded up to act as a pillow and the other he used as a blanket.
Kel slept in the bathtub that night.