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“The facility is in Bellingham, which is just under two hours away from us, so take a piss before you leave because we aren’t taking any stops,” Harcourt recapped as she clicked through a powerpoint presentation about the mission the team had spent the last week preparing for. She was giving the final run through for the team, although not everyone was paying attention. Adrian was making googly eyes at you, not even bothering to pretend to pay attention. “Since we’re getting there around ten pm, it makes sense for us all to stay overnight in town. I’ll be rooming with Ads, Smith you’ll be with and Economos, and the two love birds will be together. Speaking of-” She cleared her throat and glared at Adrian, who still wasn’t paying attention. “Chase?”
“Yeah?” he asked.
“Are you paying attention?”
“I’m trying too but Y/n looks so beautiful right now,” Adrian said, his eyes not leaving your face despite his head turning in Harcourt’s direction. “Babe, you’re gorgeous all the time, but recently you’ve been so… wow. Your hair looks so thick and shiny and you just… I don’t know. You just seem different somehow.”
He took your hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it while scooting his chair closer to yours. He rested his head on your shoulder, his dark curls tickling your jaw.
“I’m glad you find me attractive, but right now we’re working. Focus.”
“Fine,” he said, letting out a sigh. “I’ll focus.”
He kept his head on your shoulder as Harcourt continued going over the details of the mission. Despite you telling Adrian to focus, you yourself couldn’t pay any attention. Adrian could be overly perceptive at times. He somehow managed to notice everything you didn’t want him to notice, and not notice everything you wanted him to. Of course, this was one of those times you didn’t want him to notice anything different.
There was a secret you were keeping from him. You didn’t plan to keep it for long, but you weren’t ready to tell him. Not just yet. Not when you were still coming to terms with it. You knew he’d take the news well, that he’d be over-the-moon happy, but you were nervous to say the least. You’d only known for four days that you and Adrian were having a baby.
You took the pregnancy test after you started getting sick in the morning. You’d skipped your period, but that wasn’t an uncommon occurrence considering how stressful and oftentimes traumatic your job was. Your stomach hurt, your breasts were sore, the inside of your mouth tasted weird, and food and drinks tasted off. You almost talked to Adebayo about it since she was your closest friend but you decided to take a test first. You weren’t expecting it to be positive but it was.
And so was the second test. And the third. And the fourth. And the tenth. And the twentieth. After that the twenty fifth test came back positive, you finally accepted that you were pregnant.
Every hour you felt like you had a different opinion about it. You’d be happy, then scared, then sad, then terrified, then happy again. Children were something you and Adrian had talked about before. You’d been together for just under a year and weren’t in a hurry to change anything about your relationship, but you agreed that marriage and a family were in your future. Your very distant future.
But suddenly the future was the present and it felt a lot harder to deal with than body snatching aliens.
“Everyone understand the plan?” Harcourt asked.
“Got it boss lady,” Adebayo said, saluting Harcourt.
“That’s not even close to a proper salute,” Chris snorted.
“Shut up and start packing the van like I told you to,” she said. “But he’s right, Ads. Your wrist needs to be straight and you have to be standing.”
“Whatever, who cares.”
“Uh, the US military does,” Chris said.
“Smith, van, pack it,” Harcourt barked. He raised his hands in defense as he got up to start packing the van. “Vig, you too.”
“Okie dokie artichokie,” Adrian said. He removed his head from your shoulder and let go of your hand. He gave you a quick forehead kiss before standing up and ruffling your hair. “It’s so soft.”
“Now, Vig, we’re on a schedule,” Harcourt sighed. “Ads, Y/l/n -”
“Prep the canisters, we know,” you said as you stood up. “We’re going.”
“Thank you,” she said with a sigh. “Everyone, we’re rolling out in fifteen, so be ready or be ready.”
- -
The van ride to the facility wasn’t too bad. It was at night luckily so your morning sickness wasn’t affecting you. It was just the usual kind of car sickness, so you drove in the front of the van. Adebayo sat next you while the others were in the back of the dog grooming van.
“So,” Adebayo asked, drawing the word out. R&B played over the speakers. Since it was just the two of you in the front you could listen to good music without Chris or Economos bitching about it not being rock.
“So?” you asked, nodding your head along to the music and trying to seem nonchalant.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said.
“Uh huh, sure,” she said, not buying it at all.
“Look, if you’re trying to insinuate something, you better just say it,” you said. “Otherwise, I’m gonna jam out to Mary J. Blige.”
Adebayo turned down the music. “There’s something going on with you.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“Yes, there is!”
“Okay, fine,” you said. “If there’s something ‘going on with me’, why don’t you tell me what it is?”
“I don’t know what it is,” Adebayo said. “I just know that it’s something.”
“You sound like Adrian. Something’s ‘different’ but you don’t know what.”
“Speaking of Adrian, why isn’t he sitting up here with you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Because you’re my bestie and I need some girl time every once in a while,” you said, then turned the music back up and sang along. “Let’s get it percolatin’, while you're waitin’, so just dance for me.”
“No, no, don’t distract me with arguably one of the best five songs ever made.”
“I don’t know about top five .”
“Don’t,” Adebayo said in a grave voice, holding up her finger to stop you. “I know you’re trying to derail the conversation, but do not go there.”
You held a hand up in defense, keeping the other on the wheel.
“Look, if there’s something going on and you don’t want to talk about it with me that’s fine, but you should talk to someone. Maybe Adrian,” she suggested. “Unless the problem is Adrian?”
“No!” you said quickly. “No, God no. Adrian is incredible. He’s perfect. Seriously, I’m… Honestly, I’ve never been happier. And okay, fine, you’re right. There is something on my mind.”
“I knew it,” she said. “And I’m glad you and Adrian are okay. Are you going to tell him about it or?”
“Yeah, I am,” you said, then sighed deeply. “It’s just… Complicated.”
“Are you alright?” Adebayo asked, her voice extra soft and sweet. “Are you okay going on this mission?”
You knew damn well that it was stupid to put yourself in danger while pregnant and that Adrian would loose his shit if he knew, but you were an intrigial part of the team and the mission and you weren’t going to sit the mission out.
“Of course. There’s no reason I shouldn’t go. Anyway, how’s Keeya?” you asked, trying to change the subject.
“She’s bummed that we still aren’t pregnant,” Adebayo admitted. You had half a mind to make a joke but you were actively trying to keep your own pregnancy a secret. “But if I’m honest, I’m kind of glad. We agreed long before I started working on a black ops team that she’d carry the baby, but even still, it seems dangerous to be in this line of work and to start a family. What if something happens to me while I’m on the field and then she’s left alone to parent the baby? Or what if I bring work home and something happens to her. Fuck.” Adebayo let out a choked sigh. “It’s a lot to think about, ya know?”
“Yeah, I know,” you said, holding back the ball in your throat. She was restating your own internal fears, although she was leaving a few out. You would’ve added Will I be a good mom? Am I going to fuck up my kid like my parents fucked me up? Is this too soon? Will having a kid ruin my relationship with Adrian? Will he be a good dad? Is Adrian going to insist we give out kid a stupid name like ‘Blade’ or ‘Chainsaw’? Will being pregnant mean I have to start wearing dresses? There were a lot of questions you had and it overwhelmed you.
“I want a kid, I really do,” Adebayo continued. “We both do. We even decided on a name.”
“You did?” you asked.
“Victoria,” she said, a big smile on her face. She was talking about a child that wasn’t even close to existing and yet she seemed overjoyed. Part of you was jealous that despite her confliction, she loved and cared for her future child as if she already existed. And there you were, at least six weeks pregnant, and you couldn’t figure out how you felt about it. “Do you ever want kids?”
“One day,” you said.
“Do you have any names picked out?” she asked.
You almost said no, but hesitated. Despite everything, you had a name already picked out. You got the idea while watching the Star Wars prequels with Adrian the day before and it stuck in your mind like it was glued there.
“You do, don’t you.”
“Okay, I do,” you said.
“What is it?”
You got goosebumps over your skin. Saying the name you picked out, assigning it to your unborn baby even unofficially, made your pregnancy feel that much more real.
“Come on, tell me!” Adebayo insisted, hitting your arm gently. “You can’t leave me hanging.”
“You can’t judge the name,” you told her.
“I won’t, I promise,” she said. “Unless it’s something stupid.”
“What counts as a stupid name?”
“A traditional name with a funky ass spelling,” she said. “Like any version of Caitlin with a ‘y’ in it, or any name with an ‘e-i-g-h’.”
“In that case, it’s not a stupid name,” you said with a laugh.
“So? What is it?”
“It’s Hayden,” you said.
Adebayo gasped. “Oh, that’s so cute.”
“And it’s unisex! It would be so cute for a boy or girl. Hayden Chase has a nice ring to it, right?” you said, beaming over the name. You imagined your baby in your mind, wrapped in a blanket in your arms with Adrian standing right behind you. He’d hold his hand out and the baby would hold his finger.
Suddenly you didn’t want to be on the mission anymore. You wanted to be at home with Adrian, safe and sound, telling him the good news. And it was good news. You were pregnant and it was the best thing ever. It wasn’t a fleeting feeling like all the others you’d had. It felt permanent. You were pregnant. Really, truly pregnant. You and Adrian were having a baby and you didn’t want to risk anything happening to it.
But you already agreed to be on the missions and it was too late to back out.
- -
After Glenn Tai, the butterflies upped their security on their food supply factories. Since the cow was gone, they’d been making synthetic food instead. While Harcourt, Vigilante and Peacemaker created distractions, you and Adebayo would be filling the canisters you prepped with the synthetic food source for Economos to test when the team got back to Hennenlotter. The distractions would all be set at different ends of the facility, forcing the butterflies to split up, and ideally making your job easier.
Of course, things never really went to plan.
Things started going to shit when Vigilante threw a grenade into a room full of butterflies. The explosion broke a hole through the floor, filling the room below it with rubble and butterfly carcasses. It was dope as fuck but a pain in the ass since it was your way to the food source.
“Woo! Let’s fucking go!” Adrian shouted through his comm. “Who’s next? Huh? Come and get some!”
“Are you… twerking?” Economos asked.
Adrian coughed. “You can, uh, you can see me?”
“Yeah, dude, I have the security footage pulled up so I can warn you assholes of incoming butterflies and navigate Adebayo and Y/l/n through the building. Speaking of, go right to the staircase and go down a flight. There’s another staircase on the east end of the building that you can take back upstairs to the room with the synthetic food,” Economos said. “It would be faster to go straight but somebody destroyed the quickest route.”
“Sorry,” Adrian said sheepishly.
“Don’t sweat it, babe,” you said. “Ads, come on, let’s go.”
You and Adebayo followed the directions Economos gave you. Only one butterfly appeared on the way, but you shot her in the skull before she got the chance to react to seeing you. All the others seemed to follow the distractions your teammates set up. Chris was somewhere starting fires and Harcourt was taunting butterflies, drawing them out, and assassinating them. It was very loud over the comms, with a mix of screaming, guns going off, and grunting.
When you finally got to the room where they were creating the food source, you and Adebayo took two canisters each and started filling them up. It looked vaguely like a college chemistry lab, with tables covered in beakers filled with clear fluids, machines you didn’t understand doing things you didn’t understand, a giant white board with a formula written on it that made zero sense to you, and a cabinet filled with amber goo identical to what the cow produced. You took a photo of the formula and sent it to Economos before filling the canisters. You worked quickly but carefully, wearing the lab goggles and gloves Economos provided for you. The effects of the goo to humans was unknown, so you opted to be safe rather than sorry. You tried to focus on the task at hand and not the fear of something happening to your baby.
“Done,” Adebayo sighed in relief. “Come on, let’s get the fuck out of here. This place gives the cre- oof! ”
You just finished sealing the top of your last canister when Adebayo’s sentence was cut off. You turned and saw her flying across the room, crashing onto a table of beakers and rolling off of it covered in broken glass and whatever fluid was inside it.
“Ads!” you shouted. You wanted to run after her and check on her, but there was a more pressing matter at hand. Two butterflies were in front of you. One had just thrown Adebayo across the room and the other was holding the two canisters she filled. He threw them on the ground and stepped on them to break them.
“Y/n, what’s going on?” Adrian asked.
“Vigilante, you’re closest, go to her location,” Economos said. “She and Ads need backup.”
“On it,” he said as the two butterflies approached you. You put down the canisters and reached for your gun, but they were on you before you could shoot. One of the butterflies twisted your wrist, making the gun drop from your hand and go off. The bullet lodged itself into the wall near the door.
You kneed upwards, hitting the butterfly between the legs. It was enough to get him to drop your wrist so you could step back. You kicked the other butterfly in the chest, but he didn’t move. He screeched and punched you in the chest, the force sending you back into the wall.
Usually you were a much more competent fighter, but you were terrified to fight hand-to-hand when you had a baby to think about. The butterfly reached down and picked up your gun, then pointed it at you.
“Please don’t do this!” you screamed in a hoarse voice, your words barely escaping your tightening throat. The butterfly cocked the gun and you made a desperate attempt to save your baby’s life. “I’m pregnant!”
The butterfly hesitated for just a moment before an ear shattering bang echoed through the room.
You flinched and held your arms over your head as you waited for the impact of the bullet to hit you, but the impact never came. Another shot rang out and you flinched again, but again there was no pain. The only thing you felt was something wet and sticky splattering over you. You lowered your arms and opened your eyes to see the two butterflies dead at your feet, your body covered in their blood. Vigilante stood behind them, gun in hand.
“Vig-”
“We have to go. Now. ”
His tone was stern, almost angry. He was never angry with you. It made your stomach flip and you felt worse than you did when you got morning sickness.
He went over to Adebayo and helped her stand up while you took the canisters and your gun off the dead butterfly.
“Adrian, did you hear-”
“Everyone heard,” he cut you off. “Let’s go.”
You opened your mouth to protest but shut it quickly. He was right. You had the canisters you needed and it was time to get the fuck out of the facility.
- -
Everyone was silent on the ride to the motel. You sat in the back that time. The plan was for Economos to drive in the front with Harcourt, but Adrian asked to sit up front instead. He kept his mask on, shielding his expression from you. He didn’t say anything about the pregnancy. He didn’t say anything at all.
It was a short ride, only ten minutes, but the tension in the air made it feel like hours. You took off your gloves and goggles and sat next to Adebayo. She kept looking at you like she wanted to say something, but she opted to stay quiet. She put her arm around you though and you sank against her while staring blankly at the floor. Chris and Harcourt were both just as quiet. Your newly revealed pregnancy was on everyone’s mind. You refrained from putting your hand on your stomach despite the urge to do so, as if holding your stomach would hold your baby closer to you.
When you got to the motel, Harcourt handed out the keys. Adrian didn’t leave the van. He sat in the front, still like a statue. You had half a mind to go to him, but you decided to give him space. You showered instead, getting the butterfly blood off of yourself, then changed into the pajamas you brought - a simple pair of baby blue pajama pants and one of Adrian’s Return of The Jedi crewnecks. You sat criss cross on the bed as you waited for him to come to the room. You weren’t sure if he would or if he would sleep in Chris and Economos’ room.
It was impossible not to wonder what he was thinking. You assumed he’d be happy that you were pregnant. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he didn’t want a baby so soon, or with you, and he’d want you to get rid of it. You weren’t sure if you could do that. A few hours ago you would’ve considered it, but something changed when you talked to Adebayo. Giving the baby a name made you realize it was a baby. A real baby. Or, at least, it would be.
You decided that, regardless of what Adrian wanted, you’d raise Hayden. With or without him, you were going to have the kid. That’s what you wanted and it terrified you, but you had your mind set.
As time passed, you came to the conclusion that Adrian was mad at you for being pregnant and he didn’t want you to have the baby. Maybe it wasn’t fair to him to rush to that conclusion, but you were alone and pregnant and scared while he was ignoring you. When Adrian didn’t show up to the hotel room after two hours of you waiting, you climbed into bed and went to sleep, assuming that you’d be sleeping alone from then on.
- -
Sunlight passed through the motel room blinds, waking you up. Birds chirped outside and wind rustled the trees loudly. The bed you were in was stiff and not very comfortable and the blanket over you was thin, but the strong arm wrapped around your waist was warm and comforting. Half awake, you turned your head and saw Adrian wide awake behind you. You rolled over so your chest was to his and he kept his arm around you, his hand stopping on your lower back and holding you to him. His eyes were red and puffy and he had bags under his eyes.
You ran your thumb under his eyes to wipe away a tear. It felt fresh, like he’d been crying right before you woke up. You leaned into him and kissed his cheek, then his lips, softly pressing yours to his while your arms wrapped around his neck. You pulled back and kept your arms around his, your fingers twirling through the curls at the back of his neck.
“Did you sleep at all?” you asked, your voice groggy from waking up.
“No,” he said.
“What time did you come to bed?”
“Three.”
You stared into his wide, doe eyes. The red rimming them made the green pop more than usual. He looked beautiful and sad and all you wanted to do was comfort him, but as you woke up more and felt more cognitive of the night before, anger rushed through you.
“You should’ve come to bed sooner,” you said. “I waited for you for hours.”
“You don’t get to be mad at me,” he snapped, but he didn’t let go of you. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah, I’m pregnant, and you found out and then you ignored me,” you snapped back. “What the fuck, Adrian?”
“Pregnant? Fucking pregnant?” he said. This time, he did let go of you. You sat upright while he got out of the bed, still yelling. “I can’t believe it! Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Are you insane? You’re fucking pregnant, Y/n.”
Adrian kept talking, but his words went in one ear and out the other as your morning sickness hit you like a truck. You got out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where you dropped to your knees by the toilet. Adrian followed you into the bathroom, his expression changing from anger to concern as he saw you hacking over the toilet. He sat down next to you and held your hair out of your face while rubbing your back.
“You’re okay,” he said. “Just let it out. I’ve got you, baby.”
You finished throwing up, flushed the toilet, and sat back. Adrian kept his hand on your back and you began to cry, tears coming out of you like a floodgate. “I don’t want to do this alone! I don’t want you to leave us, Adrian.”
“Y/n,” Adrian said softly. “Oh, Y/n, my love.” He held your face gently and pet your hair with the other hand. “I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving. Why would you think that?”
“You didn’t come back last night and I figured you were mad at me for being pregnant and you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you keep yelling at me and-”
“Hey, woah, baby, no,” he said, pulling you to his chest. “No. I’m not leaving you, not ever. I didn’t go to you last night because I was so fucking mad that you put yourself in danger while knowing you were pregnant. I love you. Fuck, I love you so much.” He put his hand on your stomach and lowered his forehead to yours. “And I love our baby. I was mad that you put the two of you in harm's way.”
“I shouldn't have gone on the mission. I know that.”
“You’re right, you shouldn't have,” he said. “I shouldn’t have ignored you, though. That wasn’t fair to you.”
“It wasn’t, but I get it.”
“I love you,” Adrian said.
“I love you, too.”
“I’m so happy you're pregnant,” he said in a whisper.
“You are?”
“Yes, baby, I’m so, so happy,” he said.
“I was hoping you’d be,” you said, smiling into his chest. You pulled back to look at him, but stayed close to him. “I wanted to tell you, really, but I only found out a few days ago. I wasn’t sure how I felt until I picked out a name and then it just clicked. But at that point I felt like it was too late to back out of the mission. I’m sorry, Adrian.”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t react well last night.” Adrian kissed your forehead and rubbed circles on your back. “Can you tell me the name you picked out?”
“It’s Hayden.”
Adrian gasped. “Like Hayden Christensen?”
“Maybe,” you said with a giggle. You sniffled and the tears still infiltrated your vision, but you felt better being with Adrian.
“I love it. It’s perfect for a girl or a boy.”
“That’s what I was thinking!”
Adrian kissed your forehead again before you rested your head on his shoulder. “Promise me you won’t go on anymore missions while you’re pregnant.”
“I promise,” you said.
“We’re going to be parents,” Adrian said, as if he was just realizing it.
“We are.”
“We are,” he reiterated. Adrian placed his hand on your stomach and kept it there, holding you and his baby to him, happy to be surrounded by his family.