Work Text:
-Rolling Stones
-Let's Spend The Night Together
"Now I need you more than ever,
Let's spend the night together."
Cas turned and walked down the sidewalk toward the classic black car waiting for him. Dean was standing on the other side of the car, on his phone. When he turned to face him, Cas felt warmth and comfort wash over him. Things had been so hard for him lately, at times he was afraid he wouldn't be able to make it on his own. Even though he hadn't been happy to see him when he'd shown up unannounced at the Gas n Sip earlier, he was most assuredly glad that Dean was here now.
Dean was the only person who could make him feel safe, even when the world was literally falling apart around them. And especially now that Cas no longer had his grace and was vulnerable in ways he never was before. And even though Dean had kicked him out of the bunker after rescuing him from April without so much as an explanation. Dean was the only reason Cas got up everyday and trudged forward with his now seemingly meaningless, mundane life as a sales associate at the Gas n Sip.
Cas paused at the car, looking at his always righteous man, the man he had pulled from purgatory all those years ago. The man who had been everything to Cas for so long. Dean puts his phone away and looks at him "Where to Cas?" The question hangs in the air for a moment before Cas simply grabs the door handle of the Impala and slides into the leather clad front seat. He takes a deep breath, there are so many memories in this car for him, and he knows there are even more for Dean. He takes in the smell of the leather and of Dean, he's missed this so much, missed the comfort of having Dean around.
Dean pops the driver's door and slides into the seat behind the wheel, where he looks more at home than any place Cas has ever seen him. Without a word he closes the door and starts the car, the engine roaring to life, and sending the familiar rumble through Cas' body. Every passing moment is one closer to having to say goodbye again, and Cas just is not ready for that. He turns and looks as his profile, light moving over his face highlighting different features as they drive down the street.
Dean furrows his brow slightly "So, am I just going to drive aimlessly, or are you going to tell me where you're staying?"
"Uh, you can just drop me back at the store, I've got to open in the morning anyway." He says quietly, hoping that Dean wont notice the time, which of course he does.
"Jeez Cas, it's not even 10:30, what times does the store open any way?"
"Not until 7, but I like to go in early and get stuff done before." Cas looks out the passenger window, he doesnt want to tell Dean that he's been sleeping in the back room.
"Cas, seriously, there's no way Nora pays you enough to practically be living there. Besides, you've had kind of a rough night. Let me take you home so you can get some sleep."
The silence is deafening, Cas doesn't know what he can say to make Dean just take him back to the Gas and Sip without asking him more questions. The feeling of defeat is overwhelming, he has to just tell Dean the truth. "Nora pays me a fair wage and I, um, I have a sleeping bag there, I will catch some sleep in the back room, it's fine Dean. Please just drop me off there, and you can make your way back to the bunker."
Dean snaps his head and looks at Cas, "Are you telling me that you've been living in the back room of a gas station!?" Dean pulls to the side of the road when Cas doesn't answer right away. He throws the car in park and turns to face him. "Cas? Answer me... are you?"
Cas lifts his eyes and looks into Dean's face, concern written all over it. He can't say the words, so he simply nods.
Dean heaves a heavy sigh, "Jesus Cas. Why didnt you tell me? You can't be living at a gas station."
"I have no where else to go Dean. You kicked me out remember?" Cas said lightly, but once he said the words out loud an angry fire began to burn in him, and he couldn't stop. "You left me stranded, I've done the best I can, and now you're here telling me it isnt good enough. Well, Fuck you Dean, I'm trying. I'm alone, the world is a cold place, and you, you shoved me out here alone." He hated the harshness his voice carried, but it needed to be said. "Just take me back to the gas station and go on your way. I'm no longer your problem." He shifted in his seat away from Dean and looked back out the window. Waiting for Dean to either say something, or simply start driving again. He did the latter.
There was only the sound of the engine as they drove, Cas could feel his heart racing. He was torn between wanting to get as far away from Dean as possible and never leaving his side. He watched out the window as they passed houses he didnt recognize, he had no idea which direction they were going in, he doubted that if he had to walk that he would have been able to find his way back to the gas station. He spent most of his time there, and hadn't really wandered far when he wasnt working. But still Nora didnt live that far away, and nothing here looked familiar. Cas glanced at the clock, they had been driving for at least 10 minutes, they should most definitely be there by now.
Cas was about to ask Dean where he was taking him, when the car slowed and turned left, Cas looked up and saw they were pulling into a motel parking lot. Neither of them said a word as Dean pulled into a parking spot and got out of the car, walking toward the door marked OFFICE. Cas watched him through the window as he talked to the young woman behind the desk, and kept his eyes on him as he came back out glancing down the building and then got back in the car. Still not a word was said as Dean moved the car down the lot and parked directly outside room 9.
Dean killed the engine and got out, Cas kept his eyes on him as he walked behind the car and popped the trunk, grabbed his over night bag and then walked up, pausing beside the passenger door. He rapped on the window and motioned for Cas to follow as he continued to the door of the motel room. Cas hesitantly got out of the car and followed Dean, reaching him just as he opened the door and walked into the small room. Dean flicked the light on beside the one queen size bed, which Cas eyed and quizzically looked at Dean.
Dean shrugged, "I've rented the room for a month, I figured that would give you enough time to look for an apartment, which you should. You can stay here, but in the long run, an apartment will be cheaper for you Cas. I asked, the Gas and Sip is only a couple blocks away, so you can walk to work. I'm gonna go get washed up before getting back on the road."
Cas stood frozen by the door for a long while before moving further into the room. It was small, but clean. There was a small couch on the far side of the room and a small dresser as well with a tv on top. By the window to the right of the door, there was a table with two chairs. To the left of the door there was a small nook with a very small stove, a refrigerator that sat on top of a cupboard in the corner, and a single basin sink, sunk into the small counter top. Cas ventured into the room and sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Dean.
A few minutes later, Dean walked out of the bathroom, with one towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand drying his hair. Cas looked up at him, suddenly uncomfortable. Of course he had seen Dean without a shirt many times, he'd even seen him in just a towel before, but not since he became human. Dean was beautiful, Cas had always thought so, but now his body was reacting very suddenly in a way that he was not used to.
Dean walked over to where he had set his bag and started pulling out cloths. "Shower's free Cas, you should clean up."
"I don't have any clean clothes Dean, there's no point in me cleaning up if I don't have anything to change into."
Dean stopped what he was doing and looked over at him. "Tell you what. You go get in the shower, I saw a Walmart just up the street, I'll go get you some cloths and be back by the time you get done."
"OK Dean, Thank you." Cas stood and made his way to the bathroom. He leaned against the door after closing it and let out a deep sigh, earlier today when Dean had shown up, he felt proud of himself for everything that he had accomplished on his own. But Dean was very good at making him realize there was still so much that he didnt know, that he wasnt handling properly on his own. He knew Dean didnt mean to make him feel like such a child, he was just trying to make sure Cas was taken care of. But he was still left with a feeling of helplessness, and loneliness. He was so cut off from everything that was familiar. When Sam and Dean had first found him and took him back to the bunker, he thought that things were going to be ok now. He might be cut off from heaven, but he'd still have his family. But then that was ripped from him too, Dean had kicked him out. Cas cried uncontrollably for hours after that, he couldnt stop, as much as he had wanted to, knowing that it served no purpose, but he just couldnt stop.
He shook his head, pushing away the memory of those first few nights after he left the bunker. He stripped his cloths off and walked to the shower, turning it on as hot as he could stand it. This was something that he did enjoy about being human, showers. He loved the way the water felt running over his body, how his muscles would relax under the pulsing warmth. He grabbed the wash cloth and soap, and began washing his body. As he ran the washcloth over his skin he started to think of Dean in the shower, only minutes ago, doing the same thing.
His mind wandered to thoughts of what Dean looked like standing in the shower, white soap suds running over his firm tan body. His breath hitched as his hand moved over his stomach, down to his increasingly hard dick. He wouldn't lie, he had found himself absently touching his own member quite frequently after that night with April. Even though she had killed him the next morning, she had shown him how wonderful sexual pleasure was. He had never fully understood it before that night. He would further admit, if only to himself, that more often than not, it was Dean's face that he saw when he imagined being with someone. It was the thought of Dean now, imagining him in this shower with him, the image of what he looked like when he came out of the bathroom, that had made his member grow with desire.
Cas let out a low moan as he ran his hand over his hard cock, slippery with a mixture of water, soap and precome that was leaking out of him. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Imagined Dean kneeling before him, working his hand over him. Imagined him running his tongue down the length of him from the tip to the base and back up again before swallowing him down again. Cas let out another moan, this one was a little louder, and he only half hoped that Dean had already left to go to the store. He pumped his dick harder and faster as he raced toward that intense rush of white heat that began with the warm pooling he felt in his stomach. Cas threw his head back, his mouth gaping, breath ragged, dirty little moans pouring out of him as he felt his cock pulse in his hand and white streaks shot out of him. He couldn't be certain but an "Oh, Dean" might have escaped his lips too as he fell over the edge. He kept his hand tight, but slowed the movements, milking himself through his orgasm. He let out another moan as he came down.
When Cas walked out of the room, he looked around, but Dean was not back yet. Not sure what to do with himself in just his towel, he decided to lay down on the bed and wait for Dean to return. He must have been more tired than he realized, closing his eyes just for a moment, he fell asleep, not even hearing the door open, when Dean returned. Before he opened his eyes, he heard the soft voices coming from the TV, he rolled over and cracked his eyes, the only light in the room was coming from the tv, and he could just barely make out Dean laying on the couch. "Dean?" he asked softly.
Dean's head turned toward him. "Hey Cas. Must've been quite tired huh?" he asked sitting up on the couch, muting the tv with the remote.
"Yea, I guess I was." Cas sat up, realizing that he had a blanket covering him, he quirked an eyebrow at Dean.
"You looked so peaceful, I didnt want to wake you, and I didnt want you to get cold. I figured I'd stay a while, didn't want to just head out without saying goodbye." Dean sat up on the couch and stretched a little.
"You didn't have to stay, despite what you think, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You should not feel any obligation to me or my well being. " Cas said in a low tone, hanging his head. Part of him was indeed very happy that Dean was here when he woke up, but another part of him wished he would have slipped out while he was still sleeping. Letting go, watching Dean leave him, that was going to be hard. Suddenly Cas felt a heaviness in his chest, and there was burning in his eyes. Great, he thought, I'm going to start crying. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions under control. It was bad enough that Dean thought he couldnt take care of himself, the last thing he needed was for Dean to see him crying too. Cas wasn't used to all these emotions so easily overwhelming him.
"Cas?" Dean's voice came from a lot closer that it was just a moment ago. Cas looked up, eyes wet despite trying to hold back the tears. Dean looked down at him, his expression morphed from curiosity to concern as he sat on the bed next to him. "Cas, talk to me man"
Cas couldn't find his voice, terrified that if he even tried to speak he would break. Instead he hung his head again, and wiped at his eyes with his hand as he heaved a deep sigh, trying to shove everything back down. But when he felt Dean's hand on his bare shoulder, he lost it, all the control he was managing to hold onto, melted away and the tears began to flow. He felt Dean shift in closer to him on the bed and pull him into his chest.
"C'mon Cas.You gotta talk to me man. Please, I've never seen you like this. You gotta tell me whats going on." Cas rest his head on Dean's chest, relishing in the rumble as Dean spoke softly to him. He shifted in closer, seeking out Dean's comfort and warmth and before he knew it he was practically curled up into Dean's lap, arms wrapped around his back. He was waiting for Dean to pull away at any moment, but he didn't, he just let Cas cry in his arms, his hand absently stoking his hair.
After a while, Cas' tears subside and when he feels calm he leans back and looks up at Dean. His heart thuds loudly in his chest as he admires Dean from this angle, and the kindness in his eyes. Cas watches as Dean's tongue flicks across his lips, it happens all so suddenly, Cas hasn't even had time to think, but suddenly his lips are pressed against Dean's, his tongue searching out the taste of him. He feels Dean tense up slightly beneath him, but Cas doesnt relent. This may be his only chance to taste him, to know what Dean feels like in his arms. Dean's leaving him again anyway, so what the hell.
Cas moves his hand up to the back of Dean's head and into his hair as he climbs up onto Dean, straddling his lap, blanket falling away as he does. He completely forgets that he had fallen asleep wearing only a towel, until he feels the rough denim rub against him. The sensation is wonderful and he moans against Dean's mouth. Dean still hasn't moved, he hasn't exactly kissed him back, but he hasn't pushed him away either. Cas runs his tongue over Dean's lips one last time before pulling back and opening his eyes.
Dean's expression is one of surprise, his eyes are wide, and his mouth gapes a little after Cas pulls away. Cas hears a small huff escape him before he clears his throat. "uh, Cas?" Dean asks slowly "What exactly was that?" His voice is surprisingly calm.
Cas lowers his head, breaking eye contact as he licks the taste of Dean off his lips, sucking the lower one in savoring it before he speaks. "I'm..." he starts, hes... he's what exactly? sorry? no, he's not sorry... he wants Dean, he'll never be sorry for that. "I just wanted to know what that was like. I... I'm just lonely Dean. I've been so alone, and I've missed you." Cas looked watching Dean's face soften. "I'm not going to say sorry, I'm not sorry that I kissed you. I've wanted to do that for a long time, and since I lost my grace, since becoming human, those feelings have only grown stronger, you are all I think about." Cas waits for Dean to reply and Dean just stares at him. "It's ok Dean. You don't have to say anything. I just...I just couldn't hold back anymore. You were here, you were holding me, and that felt so nice. After all of those years of me comforting you, it felt nice to have you do that for me. And you're leaving me again, I just wanted to take a little bit to carry with me... It does...."
"Cas, I... Uh..." Dean started and Cas shook his head
"It doesn't have to mean anything Dean. I dont want you to leave yet. Please, will you just stay with me? I'm not asking for anything more than comfort, will you please just stay here with me?" Cas waits a moment, Dean still not speaking, not moving at all. "Ok, I understand." Cas says softly, suddenly feeling even more pathetic and helpless than he did earlier.
He starts to pull away when he hears Dean sigh and feels his arms tighten around his back. "Cas" Dean's voice comes out almost as low moan. Cas lifts his eyes to Dean's again, and he can see something shift in them, the confusion and hesitation gone, replaced by something softer. Cas takes a chance and leans in, once again pressing his lips to Dean's and this time Dean kisses him back softly. His mouth opening easily when Cas moves his tongue across his lips again, meeting Cas with his own tongue and letting out a soft moan at the contact.
Dean's hands run along Cas' back as the kiss deepens, and Cas feels him grip his hips as Dean pulls him into his body. Cas breaks the kiss throwing his head back and moaning at the increased friction he feels, grinding his hips down into Dean, reveling in the amazing sensation. Dean takes the opportunity to plant soft kisses on his neck, licking and biting any skin he can get his mouth on. Cas bites his lip before taking Dean's mouth with his again, plunging his tongue into his mouth greedily as he rolled his hips into Dean, his hardening dick rubbing against the crotch of Dean's jeans.
"Cas..." Dean moans against his mouth, pulling his hips into him harder, bucking his own hips to meet Cas'.
"Dean.... ungh... I need you." Cas murmers and he feels Dean freeze beneath him. Cas leans back and looks at him. "Dean?"
"Cas, I'm..." Dean starts, and then looks over Cas' shoulder as though trying to distance himself from the situation at hand. He sighs heavily before looking back at Cas. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I just can't." Dean shifted, nudging Cas gently. Cas moved off him and sat on the bed, one leg pulled up to him and just watched Dean stand and walk toward the center of the room. Cas knew Dean well enough to be able to read his body language. He knew that Dean was feeling overwhelmed with everything that was going on, and he was having a hard time processing this.
As much as Cas desperately wanted Dean, needed Dean. He didnt want to force Dean to do anything he wasnt ready for. "Dean, it's ok. I'm not expecting anything from you. I would still like for you to stay with me, but it doesn't have to anything more than that."
Dean wiped his hands over his face and slumped his shoulders a bit, turning to face Cas once again. "Dude, we were in full make out mode not even two minutes ago, and you're sitting there naked on the bed with... " Dean sighed, his eyes running down the length of Cas' body, resting for a moment on his erection, and then flicked back to meet Cas'. "And you're telling me you don't want more? I don't buy it."
Cas got up onto his knees and moved toward the foot of the bed, closer to Dean. "I'm not saying I don't want it, I want you Dean, I want to give myself to you in ways that I never have before, but have always wanted to. What I am saying is, I am not going to force myself on you. If this is not what you want, its ok. I don't need you to take pity on me. I don't want you to be with me just because you feel some kind of obligation. I need you Dean, and I will take you in any way that you want to give yourself to me."
Dean was looking at the floor, unable to keep eye contact with Cas as he had moved closer to him. There was a long silence that hung heavy in the air. Cas got off the bed, and took Dean's hand in his. "Dean, I need you. I don't think you will ever understand how much I just need you in my life. Please stay with me tonight." Cas sighed, lifting Dean's hand to his mouth and placing a soft kiss there. "I'm going to take a moment in the bathroom, and get dressed. I hope that you will still be here when I come out, but I will understand if you decide to go. Thank you for everything you have helped me with." Cas let go of Dean's hand, walked over to the table and grabbed the bag with the new cloths Dean had picked up for him.
When he opened the bag, he saw two small boxes in amongst the clothing, recognizing them immediately he turned to question Dean, and found that he was right behind him. "Dean?" The words were barely out of his mouth before Dean was on him, arms around his waist, pulling him into his body. Their mouths devouring each other, tongues meeting feverishly.
"Cas, I need you too." Dean said breaking the kiss. His tongue flicked over his lips as he caught Cas' curious gaze. "I heard you in the shower earlier. God Cas, do you have any idea the effect you have on me." Dean rotated his hips, grinding his trapped erection into Cas' thigh, a moan escaping both their lips as he did. "Its overwhelming, I never thought you'd want me like this. Hell, part of me thinks I fell asleep on the couch over there and this is all a dream." He ran his hands down Cas' back and grabbed his ass, pulling him forcefully into his body, and another moan escaped them both.
"Dean" Cas said, placing a kiss on his lips. "Certainly if this is a dream, I'm the one having it" He kissed him again, a little deeper. "But if this is just a dream." another kiss "Lets make it a really good one." Cas moved his hands to Dean's belt and quickly unbuckled it and his jeans, forcing them down over his hips and ass. He once again trapped his mouth with his own as he ran his hand under the waistband of Dean's boxers, wrapping his fingers around his hot erection. Dean's fingers bit into Cas' ass as he moaned into his mouth.
"Oh God, Cas!"