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Sand and leaves crunch under Ruby’s boots, her swift pace unwilling to falter. The sea-scented wind rushes by, indifferent towards her hurry. It pushes against her front no matter how many times she changes which direction she’s going. The insistent current seems almost determined to slow her down, but stopping would only give her body another chance to scream at her for a break. Besides, her traitorous mind has already taken on that arduous task, so she really doesn’t need to hear the plea for respite coming from more than one source.
(Her steadfast refusal to stop moving keeps the flashing images of Penny’s limp, pale body at bay.)
Other than the barely contained onslaught of her own thoughts, she has the company of her partner following from a few feet behind. They’ve been moving through this otherworldly landscape for an unknowable amount of time. Time that didn’t seem to follow any linear path, making each second, minute, and hour feel like one in the same.
One moment she swears they’ve been walking for only ten minutes, the next her mind convinces her they’ve trekked for days with no change of scenery in sight.
(Except for the clearing where they stumbled upon Penny.)
(She wonders if the forest is punishing her for temporarily abandoning her body in a makeshift bed of leaves, but if she had to look at Penny for a second longer—)
They have to find a way out of here. Off of here. Through here?
“Ruby?”
Getting back to the fight should be her number one priority. No time for breaks, rest can wait a while longer. Sleep has always been patient for her anyways.
(Penny never got to experience the lull of a warm bed, never got the chance to dream her first dream.)
“Ruby.”
Just one foot in front of the other. Ignore the blurring corners of her vision. One step, another, one more.
“Maybe going back up… no that’ll never work.”
“Ruby.”
There has to be a way. There is a way. She’ll find it. She must find it.
“Ruby!”
What if she couldn’t—
“Ruby Rose!”
Her desperate thoughts finally trip her up and she goes down in a mess of leaves and vines with a yelp. Usually, her own clumsiness is easy enough to move past, but the exhaustion she’s been dragging around with her coupled with the dreadful nature of their situation ignites something hot within her.
“What?” She snaps, whipping her head around and baring her teeth at Weiss from the ground.
There’s a flash of surprise in Weiss’s eyes, but it quickly hardens. Her expression is stony as she takes slow, measured steps towards Ruby and holds out her hand.
Ruby glares at the immaculate glove for a few moments—
(The white of Penny’s shirt had been stained through with blood.)
—just to make Weiss sweat. Not that she can tell if her deliberate refusal is doing so. Weiss just stares her down twice as hard.
Begrudgingly she accepts the offer and lets her partner pull her to her feet. Dusting off her clothes, she’s sure to put a few feet of distance between them.
The hurt in Weiss’s eyes wraps around her already bruised heart and squeezes.
Now, that forceful breeze pushes at her back, urging her towards the other girl. She plants her feet and holds firm against it.
They didn’t have time for this. They still had to find Blake and Yang while avoiding crossing paths with Neo.
(The last time she saw Penny’s image alive and moving was when Neo stole it.)
(Tainted it.)
A phantom grip at her throat chokes her and she turns her back on Weiss with a pained noise.
Weiss is barely holding it together herself. She doesn’t blame Ruby for lashing out, how could she? When anger is turned away from the self, it just rears its head on those around you.
She braces herself and takes a careful step towards her partner, not wanting to scare her away.
“Ruby,” she starts softly. Even under the cover of a cape, Weiss still sees her shoulders tense.
Shoulders that quickly square back as Ruby takes a deep breath. If Weiss keeps talking to her like she knows how fragile she really is, she’ll surely give in.
“We should keep going," she insists.
“And go where, exactly?”
The question makes her hesitate, as intended. But Ruby just shakes her head, back still turned to Weiss.
“What kind of question is that?” She shoots back meanly, something that Weiss can’t ever recall being easy for her in the past. “Look at where we are, Weiss! We need to find a way back to Remnant.”
Ignoring the way Ruby’s words poke at the open wound that is her heart, Weiss keeps pushing.
“We’ve been moving for—” Weiss has no idea, “for too long without rest.” Another few cautious steps towards Ruby and she risks gently grabbing hold of her shaking wrist.
“Please,” her voice cracks on the begging request, “Sit down with me. Just—just for a bit.”
No, no, no they can’t stop. If they slow down then everything Ruby’s been running from will catch up to her.
She pulls her arm out of the other girl’s weak hold. “We can’t afford to lose any daylight. We don’t know what this place is like at night.”
Frustration boils inside Weiss. “We should stop and make camp." She debates her next sentence for a second, then decides it's a necessary push. "And dig a proper grave for—”
“No!” Ruby is so sick of burying loved ones. “We—we haven’t even found Blake and Yang yet. They could be anywhere!”
“The trees haven't changed in ages, we might as well be going in circles.”
“If we just keep going we’ll find something new eventually—”
“Do you even know how much time has passed since we got here?”
Of course she didn’t. Neither of them did. The only telling indicator of time passing was the increasing tiredness in their bodies.
Weiss crosses her arms and huffs at Ruby’s silence. “That’s what I thought.”
Oh, that is the last thing she needs right now, haughty discontent with Ruby’s inadequacy. As if she wasn’t already frustrated with her own failures as a leader, Weiss had to rub it in.
She whirls around to glare at her partner, throws her arms up and yells, “Okay, fine! I don’t know if it’s been days or hours since we fell! I don’t know where we’re going! And I don’t care! Because sitting around will get us nowhere!”
“But running ourselves ragged will?”
Ruby bristles, her fists clenching. Why doesn’t Weiss get it? The longer they spend in this place, the longer the rest of the world suffers. They had a responsibility to fight, especially Ruby.
She turns her back on her partner again, pushes down the voice that’s begging her to just give in to Weiss’s demands.
“If you can’t keep up, that’s fine. I’ll find you later.” The words fight her on the way out, burning like bile. Weiss’s breath catches, unwilling to accept what she’s hearing. “I’m gonna see what else is out there.”
(Hopefully, something other than a corpse.)
Her steps falter as she tries to walk away. The wind howls and pushes at her in gusts. She stumbles back at its force.
Weiss catches her arm again, this time her hold is crushing.
“We need each other now more than ever,” she says firmly, upset and pleading.
What did that even mean? They had each other right now. And the best way to ensure that they stayed together was to keep moving, find the others, escape this crazy place, fight Salem, save the world—
The mounting pressure pounds behind her eyes, turmoil bubbling over into the space around them.
“What do you want from me then, Weiss?!”
Her impassioned cry echoes through the trees, birds flee from their perches to escape the vibrations of Ruby’s fury.
Weiss will not be so easily deterred.
She refuses to surrender in the face of Ruby’s perceived rage. She can see what’s under the facade, crafted and lived with the same mask—mastered it—herself for far too many years.
“I want,” she gets in Ruby’s face, her smaller stature insignificant in comparison to her tall presence. Ruby huffs her anger at Weiss’s clenched glare, the familiar tight pull of her white brows strangely comforting. Memories of petty school arguments drag a longing ache from their bones.
Then, all at once, Weiss’s intensity takes a sharp, unexpected dive. Her face crumbles.
“I want my partner… to give me a hug.”
Ruby’s indignation drains at the sudden shift in energy, not used to such an open, pained request like that coming from Weiss.
She stares dumbly, sure that she’s misheard something.
But a tearful shine tints blue irises, dimming the sky in Weiss’s eyes that Ruby has come to draw her own brightness from.
“My—my best friend to—” Grief drips from Weiss’s lips like syrup, but they haven’t tasted sweet in far too long. Salty tears stain every harsh breath.
Guilt made a home in Ruby’s heart a long time ago, but now it expands into shame.
Not wasting another moment, she sweeps Weiss up in a desperate, tight embrace. The dam finally breaks and they cling to each other through lung-racking sobs. The persistent wind seizes its charge.
Weiss feels so… small in her arms. Her shaking frame seems to shrink as the sorrow flooding her body finally gets to escape.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispers brokenly into her neck.
For letting her down. For breaking her promise to not leave her side. For being the worst best friend.
“I’m so sorry.”
For everything. Everything she should’ve done better and everything she wasn’t strong enough to change.
How could she call herself a leader? A partner? There was a time when she would’ve happily boasted to be the best partner Weiss could’ve ever hoped for.
But those days have long since passed.
Now she spends every waking moment trying to make up for her mistakes. Hoping that each new plan gets them far enough in this war that she can stand to look into the eyes of the people she loves without flinching.
If she holds onto Weiss just a little longer, a little tighter, she can put off that inevitability. Finding small victories in delayed despair has become all too common for her, but right now the warmth of her partner’s hug surpasses every small comfort she’s been clinging to combined.
Their cries eventually dwindle into soft sniffles. If Weiss wipes her nose on Ruby’s collar, Ruby doesn’t mention it, not that Weiss would admit to such a thing in their lifetime.
They pull back delicately, neither fully dropping the embrace for fear they’ll just fall back into past, unwanted patterns. If anything Weiss’s hold tightens around Ruby’s shoulders, nails digging into cloth and skin, planting the roots of her devotion in her partner’s veins. She leans back to take in the eyes that have always had a way of calming her down.
They’re dull. Brilliant silver scuffed to a gray.
It’s enough to almost make her sick. She tilts her gaze up from that heart-wrenching sight and tries focusing on anything else that’ll rein in another upset.
“When did you get taller?” Her question is quiet, initially an attempt to shift the mood somewhere lighter but it only serves to remind her of how much time has passed, how many moments have gone unnoticed in the face of this war. Weiss tells herself it’s not either of their faults, but whether or not she believes that is a different story.
Ruby tries to pick up the pieces of Weiss’s halfhearted joke with one of her own. “When did you get so good at hugs?” She squeezes her waist affectionately.
She’s reprimanded with a weak tug on her hair, but the reproach is nothing more than a formality made obvious by the immediate combing of Weiss’s fingers through dark, tangled strands.
“I had a good teacher,” she murmurs, laying her head on Ruby’s shoulder.
Ruby chuckles hoarsely. “Yeah, well.” You could’ve had a better one, she doesn’t say, a better leader.
“Stop.”
Ruby startles. “Huh?”
“Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking. I know how you talk to yourself, Ruby.”
The tension that had a few precious moments of release snaps back. Her body stiffens into stone. “I don’t know what you mean."
Weiss’s warmth leaves her, its absence pulling at her ribs, and with it takes the last shred of reality Ruby had going for her. All she wants is to hold on to her partner and pretend it’s enough to keep them from falling off the edge of the world again.
But how can she go back to being the reliable leader she’s supposed to be if she couldn’t even keep herself grounded without Weiss’s presence? A good leader should do better, a good leader would do better.
“Damnit Ruby, I said knock it off.” A harsh pull on her ear jerks Ruby out of her thoughts.
“Ow!” She goes to rub the sore spot but catches Weiss’s retreating hand instead. The familiar resolute shine to her partner’s eyes is back, and Ruby can’t help but rest that soft hand on her cheek and soak it in, presses into her skin and wishes the effect of Weiss’s touch could sear into her bones indefinitely so she wouldn’t have to burden her with affection ever again.
Blue eyes soften along with Weiss’s next words, “I hate seeing that look on your face. You’re too hard on yourself.”
“You know,” Ruby sighs, “We used to have this conversation the other way around.”
“Yes,” Weiss uses her free hand to gently nudge Ruby’s unruly bangs back, “More proof of your teachings.”
Ruby leans into the tender touch, tries to let it soothe her heart like a salve. “I don’t have all the answers, Weiss.”
Weiss looks at her with a tinge of worry. “I know that.” She would never expect that of her partner. Of anyone. “You don’t need—”
“Yes, I do!”
The gutted response makes Weiss jerk back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If I can’t guide us through this fight against Salem then… then what good am I?”
Weiss doesn't even know where to begin. How can she convince Ruby that her health and worth as a person will always surpass her benefit as a soldier?
She knew Ruby carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, gods did she ever know that, but a burden like that could twist deadly delusions into her already self-destructive mindset, could embed so deep into Ruby’s psyche that it corrupts her core beliefs.
To think that any one of them should be adept at single-handedly ending a war is absurd. Yet, here Ruby is, trying to do the impossible all by herself.
“This isn’t your fight.” She holds tear stained cheeks in her hands, wills her words to carve out the recesses of Ruby’s mind that make her think her own wellbeing is something to ignore. “You don’t have to do it by yourself. You can’t.”
As if Weiss would let her. Of every indisputable fact in the universe, that is one that could never hope to be proven otherwise.
“I know that,” Ruby insists, but her following words suggest the opposite, “but I have to try.”
The forest murmurs around them, ruffling leaves and scuttling creatures suddenly deafening to Weiss’s ears. She experiences a quick range of emotions, starting at dumbfounded and ending somewhere around unfathomable anger.
“So, let me get this straight—”
Ruby winces.
“Not only have you decided to take on the responsibility of saving the world,” she jabs Ruby in the chest with a harsh finger, her voice growing shrill, “but now you’ve made it into some—some unattainable goal that may as well be a death wish? Am I correct?”
Ruby’s eyes look anywhere but at Weiss. “I mean…”
Weiss usually was correct, and Ruby almost always refused to admit it.
Grabbing fistfuls of Ruby’s shirt, Weiss shakes her through an infuriated rant.
“Of all the asinine ideas you’ve ever—”
Ruby should’ve just kept her mouth shut.
“—and to think I actually believed you were getting smarter—”
A vow of silence. Perhaps that’s in the cards for her.
“—I swear if we make it out of here alive I’m gonna—”
And a bodyguard. Preferably heavily armed.
“—and now you w–want to distance yourself from me even further by getting yourself killed—”
Wait, what?
Through the addled brain cells bouncing around her skull, Ruby makes out a fresh stream of tears sliding down Weiss’s face.
“Whoa, Weiss.” She seizes the other girl’s wrists, putting a stop to her violent shaking. “Why would I want to get away from you?”
“Well, what else am I supposed to think?” She sniffs pathetically, blinking out more tears.
Ruby gapes at her. There’s no way Weiss actually believed that.
“Of course I want to be with you,” she says emphatically, sliding her grasp from delicate wrists to link their fingers, willing her eyes to convey the very truth of that statement.
“Then why do you plan on throwing your life away?”
Because she’d never considered that was what she was doing in the first place. All she knew was that she had to commit every part of herself to ending this fight.
“I…I’m not throwing it away. I just…” She struggles to find the right words that’ll disprove those claims while also not making herself a liar, it proves to be more difficult than expected.
Weiss exhales, forlorn and tired. The lack of communication between them flares up like an old scar, still capable of pulling at her insides relentlessly.
“Even though we reunited ages ago, it still feels like we’re worlds apart. I hate it.”
They’ve gone too long without confiding in one another, too long not taking care of the other's needs.
Not knowing what to say, Ruby squeezes Weiss’s hands tighter in the hopes that it will abate her fears about them being apart ever again. She knows it’s not enough, damnit, she’s never been enough. She doesn’t even know how to comfort her own partner anymore.
“You deserve better than me,” she admits dejectedly.
Weiss just stares at her, eyes wide and disbelieving. Was Ruby even listening to her? She wants to strike down any force that tries to keep them apart, but all Ruby can take from that is that they should’ve never even become partners in the first place if she was only going to hurt Weiss in the long run.
If that were true, then what would be the point? Why would they bother waking up every day, why bother standing up to forces of evil if there was no one or nothing to fight for?
Carefully untangling one of her hands, she brings it up to stroke the other girl’s face and say, “I could never do better than you, Ruby.” Could never think nor dream of it. “And I don’t want to.”
She never thought she’d have to convince her partner of that, not after everything they’ve been through.
“Please,” Weiss’s touch is as gentle as her voice, fingers lightly caressing sun-kissed cheeks, “Don’t leave me behind.” Don’t leave me for a suicide mission.
Ruby breaks their gaze, the pain radiating off of the other girl unbearable to face directly. “I can’t bring you to the end of the world with me, Weiss,” Ruby whispers low and anguished, “I need you to live.”
They’ve lost too many people already. The pile keeps growing and if Weiss ends up at the top of it, Ruby’s not sure she could find the strength to carry out her duty.
Weiss shakes her head at her partner’s inability to comprehend how tragic her own passing would be, the way it would tear their team to pieces. She sighs, heavy and despondent.
“Do you really think I could stand to live a life without you in it?”
The question catches Ruby off guard, though it shouldn’t. She’s lived through enough loss to ponder the possibility of mourning the people that are still around, so of course she’s considered how her own death would be received.
But it didn’t matter. She had a job to do, a responsibility to defeat Salem. If that ended in her demise, well… it’s what she signed up for. And she was going to see it through.
Sensing the resolve in Ruby’s silence, Weiss feels more cracks splinter her heart. Dread drums on the remaining pieces. She already knows what it’s like to be deprived of Ruby’s smile. She’s felt the heavy absence of roses like a deadweight. Living through that kind of deprivation again would ruin her.
But right now they’re still together. After everything that’s been thrown at them they were still able to come back to each other. Weiss had to believe that meant something, had to believe it would always be possible. If the universe ever decided to separate them permanently, she would never stop trying to find her way back to Ruby, even if she had to claw her way out of the depths of hell with bloodied fingertips.
Salem defied Gods because of her devotion, Weiss can’t see herself acting any different.
Resolution settles in her bones like coming home. She stares her partner down with renewed defiance. “Fine. If you want to play captain and go down with the ship, then I'll be right beside you.”
Ruby exhales harshly, almost a growl, and says, “This isn’t a game to me, Weiss.”
“Why would it be? I don’t find the idea of losing you fun either.”
Whether Ruby liked it or not, Weiss will be with her to the very end. Sooner or later she’ll have to accept that they’re either living together or dying together.
But first they’ll have to take a page out their Beacon days and nurture the fragile threads of this partnership.
“Being your partner isn’t something I take lightly, I’m still determined to be the best.” She intertwines their fingers again, letting their inherent strength fuel her promise. “Because that’s what you deserve, Ruby.”
She can’t let Ruby go through the rest of her life thinking she’s anything other than the most extraordinary person Weiss has ever been fortunate enough to meet.
It would be difficult, they still had lives to mourn and memories to protect. And it would take time, time they might not have, time they couldn't afford to lose, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that they were more than worth the effort.
They must be making progress already, because the silver of Ruby’s eyes shines through cloudy gray, misting over with unshed tears.
Asking Weiss if she’s serious would be a waste of breath, Ruby can see the assurance clear as day in her expression, feels her distinctly stubborn essence rolling off in waves. It sparks a familiar feeling, much like the joy she experienced the first time Weiss gave her a piece of herself through promise.
Seeing her partner clearer now, Ruby also takes that first step towards a better them.
“Okay.” Her voice is small, but her smile isn’t. It grows the longer they gaze at each other with revived hope.
Weiss doesn’t fight her own grin, it’d be impossible in the face of such a joyous sight. She nods with finality.
A calm, swirling breeze dances around them. Not urgent like before, but nudging.
Ruby takes the hint this time. “Hey Weiss,” she starts, and her smile quirks playfully, “You know what else you’re the best at?”
Weiss shakes her head cutely, bites her lip to contain the swelling happiness trying to burst out of her.
Ruby gifts herself a few more seconds of swimming in bright blues, then scoops Weiss into the air around the waist and spins them in circles.
“Hugs!”
Weiss fills the surrounding space with uninhibited laughter. She locks her hands around Ruby’s neck as she’s lowered down and doesn't feel the need to let go.
Every cell in her body buzzes with revitalized vigor. Especially when Ruby blinds her with another heart-melting smile. She can already feel the pieces in her chest mending.
They can do this. They can keep moving forward. They can make it to the light at the other side of this war.
With each other and for each other.