Work Text:
once this time of the night arrives, the routine begins again.
the noise of an old volleyball match on the TV becomes more and more distant in the dark,
and everything that was safely miles away from me, is suddenly so close.
he is here now.
he is right in front of me, two glasses of beer away.
are you asleep already?
he is so close,
just a touch away.
I just have to lift my arm, move my hand, stretch my fingers and, feel that skin.
the simple and audacious thought of daring to move even an inch closer gives me goosebumps.
it's more than just nerves at this point,
I suddenly feel aware of every movement of my body.
and I can't breathe.
he's so pretty
small bumps appear on the surface of my skin and every exposed hair on my body suddenly feels the gentle breeze coming through the gaps of the window,
and it's so cold.
I want to move so bad
I want to close my eyes and only feel you with my skin.
I bet your skin feels hot against mine,
I'm always so cold.
I wanna see you open your eyes,
I want you to look at me and let me lean in,
I wanna hear your voice, i wanna see your mouth moving,
I want to keep you in that reality.
I want so much.
too much.
but a pressure inside my chest holds me back.
I can't move.
I can only stare at you under this dim light
I can't give it a try, can I?
the risk of not being able to live this moment again and again keeps me in place.
I want to keep feeling this way every time you sit so comfortable next to me and let yourself fall asleep in my living room.
I'm sorry Shoyo, you trust me by your side and i can't tear my gaze away from your lips.
and everything is so much and it's crushing me,
the thoughts run by my greedy desire make me feel so full,
it's like my home is now complete with you here.
still the back of my mind is begging me to close my eyes.
so I'll store you in a place beyond from what i'm willing to understand
and maybe it's for the best to keep everything the way it has always been,
soon you'll depart again and you're gonna leave me here anyway.