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Castiel felt pain from the Grace burning through his body. It was a fire in every breath he drew, every move he made, coursing through the veins of his body. 'A stolen Grace in a stolen body,' he mused bitterly before drawing in a heavy breath and turning to face what he had to do. Dean knelt in the middle of the dungeon, newly consecrated by Cas, surrounded by the Devil’s Trap drawn into the floor and shackled. Even bound and trapped, he smirked at Cas, his physical form twisting his lips in mockery. The shadowy and demonic face underneath swirled, barely contained by Dean’s body. Even after months of seeing Dean like this, it still made Castiel feel nauseous to see both forms simultaneously. Initially, he had wondered why that was, since seeing Meg’s true form had never bothered him in this way, not after he regained his memories, if it was his experiences as a human that had changed in some way. But now, seeing Dean on the floor in front of him, he knew that it was because of how wrong it was to see Dean like that. That it was, as Metatron put it, all about Dean.
“What are you up to, angel?” Dean asked, tone cruel and biting.
Not answering, Cas took off his trenchcoat and placed it on the table next to him. Rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt, he took a rubber tube and pulled it around his arm. The vein raised in the crux of his elbow and he took a syringe and plunged it in. Withdrawing blood, he untied the tube and put it back on the cold metal table. Wordlessly, he walked over to Dean who refused to flinch but looked at Cas levelly. Cas wrenched Dean’s neck to the side and stabbed the needle in. Pressing the plunger, he watched as the blood entered the demon’s body as dispassionately as possible.
“Oh Cas,” Dean said, a laugh in his voice. “Do you really think you can cure me, man? I’m not Crowley, I’m not like the others, I’m a fucking Knight of Hell! I bear Cain’s Mark!”
Turning away, Cas placed the empty syringe on the table and glanced at the wristwatch Sam had given him. 8:24 a.m. Leaving the room, he closed the door behind him, the dungeon becoming hidden once more. “How’s it going?” Sam asked from the chair and desk he had pulled up.
Cas shook his head and answered, “I don’t know. I gave him the first syringe.”
“Are you sure this is going to work?” he asked again. “You’re not exactly human and you’re not in the best shape either.”
Sighing, Cas said, “I’m not exactly an angel, either, but it’s either you or me, and it would probably kill you if you did it. I won’t let you sacrifice yourself, not again. And neither would Dean.”
“I don’t think that Dean really cares anymore about me.”
Grabbing Sam’s right shoulder, Cas gripped it firmly and said, “That thing in there is not your brother. It’s a demon, an abomination, and we’re going to get Dean back, just the way he was.”
“Do you really think he could come back from…that?” Sam asked, shuddering as he remembered how they finally caught Dean, standing in the middle of a room, surrounded by the corpses of hunters he’d killed. Garth’s neck had been at such a cruel angle, it was like Dean had nearly torn it off clean off with his bare hands. Garth’s nails and fangs glinted in the sunlight that had streamed in from the window. Sam shook his head, thinking of their friend, a gentle soul, now relegated to Purgatory for all eternity to fight and kill and die.
“We have to have hope, Sam.”
Sam just laughed, bitter and cold.
-o-
Hour two:
“So where’s my brother?” Dean taunted as Cas came back in. “Is he pussying out of seeing his brother as a demon?”
Once again, Cas ignored him, rolling up his sleeves once more and tying the rubber hose. As the vein bulged slightly, he took the syringe and withdrew more blood. Carefully walking over to Dean, he checked Dean’s bindings to confirm that he wouldn’t be able to escape. Walking behind him carefully, he injected Dean in the neck.
Dean smacked his lips and said, “You taste salty, angel. Been eating a lot of diner food recently?”
Glancing at his wristwatch, Cas noted the time. 9:24am. They were still on schedule. Sam had questioned whether they needed to stick to the same procedure that the old priest had designed or if they could just try overloading Dean’s body with blood, but Cas had suggested that they should stay with the only method that had been proven to work.
Walking out of the room and shutting the door firmly behind him, Cas nodded at Sam once he was on the other side.
-o-
Hour three:
As Cas plunged the needle into Dean’s neck, Dean whipped his head back quickly, butting it hard against Castiel’s stomach. Staggering backwards, Castiel lost his grip on the syringe and it fell to the ground, cracking on the concrete floor. Dean’s mocking laughter rang in his ears as he filled a new syringe with blood. “How many extra needles do you have, angel? I hope you brought lots, because I’m not planning on making this a walk in the park for you.”
Castiel walked over to Dean and as he got close, Dean lunged at him, unable to get up from his knees. Despite himself, Castiel flinched. Dean laughed.
Castiel faced his friend and kicked him square in the stomach. Dean collapsed on his back and Castiel launched himself onto the demon, pinning his arms with his knees and stabbed the syringe into Dean’s neck. Pressing down on the plunger, the blood rushed into Dean’s body.
Standing up, Cas checked his watch and sighed. 10:26am. He pleaded silently that Dean’s antics hadn’t put them too far behind schedule.
After leaving the room and shutting the door, Sam took one look at Castiel’s face and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Dean broke one of the syringes. He’s not going to make this easy on us,” Castiel replied before glancing away. Staring at the door he’d just closed, he added, “I might need you in there with me for the next one.”
“Are you sure?” Sam said, squaring his shoulders.
“Yes.”
“Yeah, Cas, I can be there.”
-o-
Hour four:
Cas opened the door to the dungeon and Dean’s head snapped to attention. Seeing Sam following Cas, he smirked cruelly. “Hiya Sammy,” Dean mocked, pitching his voice higher, younger-sounding. “I’ve missed my little bro.”
Sam ignored him and watched as Castiel took his own blood. Needle in hand, Cas nodded at Sam, who launched into action. Rushing Dean, Sam grabbed his brother and slammed him chest-first into the floor and pinned his arms roughly behind his back. Castiel took Dean’s head and wrenched it to the side and stabbed him in the neck with the needle. Once the blood was injected into Dean, Castiel and Sam withdrew quickly, wordlessly, shutting the door behind them, leaving Dean smarting in the dark.
“Thank you, Sam,” Cas said once the door was shut behind him. He glanced down at his watch and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the time was 11:24 am.
“You’re welcome,” Sam said, clapping Cas on the shoulder. “Come on, let me make you a coffee. It’s going to be a long day.”
“Yes, I think you’re right.”
-o-
Hour five:
Sam and Cas came into the dungeon and once again, Sam slammed Dean against the floor while Cas administered the needle. Dean looked dazed and irritated as they left, right on schedule.
The door closed, Sam grinned at Castiel, who returned his smile with a small one of his own. “We’ve got this, Cas. He’s going to come back to us.”
“I hope you’re right.”
-o-
Hour six:
As Sam went to subdue Dean this time, Dean pushed back at the same instant his brother tried to push him down. Sam went sprawling against the wall and landed, hitting his head, on the floor. Dean pulled up on his manacles with every ounce of demonic strength, managing to free his right hand. “Come at me, angel!” he yelled, swinging the chain that was still attached to his right wrist over his head.
Castiel ducked and rolled under the swinging chain, bringing him in close to the demon. “Hello Dean,” he said as he stabbed the needle into the demon’s neck, Dean’s frantic efforts to dislodge it before Castiel could administer the blood into his bloodstream came moments too late.
“No,” Dean muttered in horror. Horror turned to anger and he grabbed Cas’ shirt, the end of the chain clattering on the ground. “Fuck you, Cas,” he said as he took the back of Castiel’s head and smashed it on the ground. Cas felt stunned in a way he hadn’t since his fight with Uriel. Disoriented and bleeding from his nose, Castiel couldn’t stop Dean as he did it again, and again, and again. Blood streamed from his face, the entirety of it screaming at Cas in pain. As Dean pulled his head towards the ground again, a hand gripped his arm and stopped him. Sam stood above Dean and he punched his brother hard in the head. Dean fell, unconscious, releasing Cas.
“Cas!” Sam yelled as he grabbed at Castiel, who was crumpled on the floor. “Cas!”
Castiel’s entire head ached and pounded, one large mass of agony. Fortunately, what little Grace he still had swirled within him, slowly repairing Jimmy’s damaged body. The cuts and bruises healed up, leaving only the drying blood as a reminder. “I’m alright,” Cas said as he slowly got to his knees, Sam’s warm hand pressed against his back to steady him. Sam helped him stand up and limp over to the table.
“You sure you’re alright?” Sam asked, frowning at the obvious pain Cas was still in.
Castiel nodded, then said, “What do we do with him?” as he gestured towards Dean’s prone form. “He won’t be unconscious for long.”
Sam nodded and went over to the array of weaponry against the wall. Selecting a pair of handcuffs, he brought them over to Castiel. “We handcuff his right hand directly to the floor with these.” Grabbing the keys off the table, he added, “I’m going to lock him up, I need you to restrain him.” He reached for Dean’s hand and mouthed to Cas, ‘Three, two, one.”
In one fluid movement, Sam slipped the handcuff over Dean’s wrist. However, as he did that, Dean’s eyes snapped open and he surged forward, shoving at Sam. Cas grabbed him from his front, tackling him to the hard, ungiving concrete floor. Dean’s head hit hard and he was dazed momentarily. Sam, having scrambled to his feet following Dean’s attack, swooped in and grabbed the handcuff dangling from Dean’s wrist and fastened it to where the unbroken links of the chain were still attached to the floor. Castiel, once Sam nodded at him, got off Dean, who was forced to lie awkwardly on his side, fastened on one side by the unbroken chain and by the handcuff on the other.
Finally confident that Dean was secured, Sam reached down and unlocked the cuff and useless chain that was still attached to Dean’s right wrist. With that, Sam and Castiel left the room and Dean. Once the door was shut, Sam asked in hushed tones, “Are we still on schedule?” Castiel nodded and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Cas winced as he walked down the hall, despite the healing of his obvious injuries, he still felt massive amounts of pain in his head. “Come on, Cas” he said gently, “Let’s get you some Aspirin.”
-o-
Hour seven:
When Cas and Sam approached Dean for the seventh injection, Dean started to kick wildly from his place on the ground. It looked almost pathetic, him flopping on the ground, like a toddler having a temper tantrum. Sam started laughing at his brother, a wild and slightly manic edge to it, doubling over in laughter. Dean slowly stopped kicking, a confused and irate look at his face. Huge peals of laughter burst forth from Sam, and between gasping breaths, he managed to get out, “And now…the evil and dangerous Knight of Hell…is pouting!” Cas, looking between Sam and Dean, noticed the sulking look on Dean’s face and cracked a smile and a little huff of laughter.
Dean looked wounded and upset and turned his attention to Cas. “Did you ever love me, Cas?” Dean asked. Prone on the floor, he looked miserable and more human than he had looked in a long time.
“I did,” Dean said, “I loved you, I mean. I loved you so much and I didn’t even know it. But every time you left me, it was like my heart was being ripped out of my body. And I ignored how much it hurt, because I thought of you as a guy and I didn’t think I could love a man, not like that.”
Cas, solemn-faced, the smile thoroughly wiped off, went behind Dean and injected the blood into his neck. As they retreated from the room, Dean started screaming, “And then you left me, Cas! You fucking left me! AGAIN! You left me and I turned to Gadreel for help and everything went to shit because you didn’t love me enough to stay with me! YOU DID THIS TO ME CAS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”
Sam and Cas closed the door behind them, hearing Dean’s muffled screams from behind the door. Cas slumped against the wall, knees buckling, hands shaking slightly. Sam crouched in front of him and placed a large hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You alright?”
Cas winced a little as Dean screamed again, obscenities and curses against Cas. Standing up, he said, his normally gruff voice breaking slightly, “I’m fine, thank you Sam.”
“You’re not alright.”
Cas glanced away, staring at the ground and asked, “Is it true? Did he love me?” Turning to Sam, he fixed his blue eyes on Sam’s hazel ones. Now Sam was unable to meet his eyes. He averted them, licked his lips and nodded.
“Of course he did, Cas. I tried to talk to him once about it and he just told me to shut up and mind my own business, but I could see it, every time he looked at you.” He pursed his lips and frowned. “I’m sorry, Cas.”
“Me too.”
-o-
Hour eight:
“Sammy,” Dean pleaded, as Cas approached him, tears in his eyes. “Sammy, don’t let him do this to me. Sammy, please, I’m not going to survive this. You’re my brother, please, please help me. I don’t want to die again. I can’t go back to Hell, not again.”
Sam shook his head and then, addressing Cas, said, “Do it.”
Cas took the last syringe in hand and approached Dean, again from behind. “Cas?” Dean asked, “I’m scared.”
“Me too, Dean,” Cas found himself admitting.
“What if this doesn’t work?” Dean said quietly, looking away from the angel with his syringe, offering either death or salvation. “What if it does?”
Cas took Dean, holding Dean’s body gently from behind. Brushing the skin gently on Dean’s neck, Castiel then pricked the skin with the tip of the needle, and breathing in a deep breath, pushed it further. Castiel pushed down the plunger and the blood surged into his friend’s body. Castiel intoned gravely, “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Hanc animam redintegra, lustra! Lustra!“ Pulling out Ruby’s knife from his belt, he cut his right hand and placed it over Dean’s mouth and Cas could feel Dean’s mouth opening in response, a tentative tongue licking against his bloody hand, seeking out the curative properties of his blood. Finally, a white light engulfed Dean.
Castiel took his hand away. “Dean?” he asked, “Are you alright?”
Suddenly, Dean’s eyes rolled back in his head and he started to shake and seize. “Sam!” Castiel shouted, “Let him out!”
Sam fumbled with the keys, but hesitated before he unshackled his brother. “Sam, let him out!” Cas yelled. Sam unlocked the shackles and let the chains fall to the ground. Moving quickly to the other side, he unlocked the handcuff.
Cas pulled Dean tightly towards his body, hugging and sheltering him. He rocked the shuddering body, holding him close. Whispering, Cas said, “What grace is given me, let it pass to him. Let him be spared. Save him.” Closing his eyes tightly, a tear leaked out regardless, dripping onto Dean’s forehead.
A blue and white light leaked out of Cas, out of every pore of Jimmy Novak’s body, and swirled around the prone figures. Sam, realizing what it was, threw himself to the floor, closing his eyes and blocking out his ears. The light penetrated into Dean’s skin, lighting him from the inside, then it floated out of Dean’s open mouth and dissipated.
“Hello Cas,” a deep voice said. Castiel opened his eyes and found himself staring into Dean’s own green ones.
“Hello Dean.”
“Did you just save my life using a Lord of the Rings quote?”
“I believe I did. Yes,” he replied, a smile on his face.
“Thank you, Cas,” Dean said, a matching smile on his face. “Are you human now?” Castiel nodded, still holding Dean in his arms.
Both of them were so caught up in their conversation that they had failed to notice Sam get up and grab a bucket from next to the table, so when they were both suddenly drenched with water, it took them quite by surprise. Dean sputtered, spitting out a small mouthful of water, and Cas just pushed his soaking wet hair out of his face. “Sorry,” Sam offered, “holy water bucket challenge.”
Dean’s smile broadened, “I guess I’m human again.” Looking at Cas, he added, “Makes two of us.”
Covered in water, Castiel just started to laugh, hearty and happy. Dean looked at him in amazement, never having heard him laugh like that, and reached out a finger, touching his smile lines gingerly. Grabbing a fistful of Cas’ hair, Dean pulled him down into a kiss, despite the awkward angle. Sam turned back to the table and started tidying, trying to give them some privacy. “I didn’t lie, Cas,” he said, after they broke apart, “I love you.”
“Dean,” Castiel replied, “I have always loved you, before I even understood what love was.”
“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked, and Cas nodded his head. Dean stood up, knees creaking, making him smile at the humanity of it, and he reached down and offered a hand to Cas. Grasping the proffered hand, Cas stood up.
Walking over to Sam, Dean pulled his brother into a hug. “Thank you, Sam.”
Sam hugged his tightly back and said, “I’m glad you’re back.”
Together, the three of them left the dungeon and Dean glanced back at the room that had once been his prison. Shutting the door behind him, he turned and joined his brother and his former angel.