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Both acids and bases are caustic. Ironically, the salts and solutions created when mixed together can still hurt.
Despite the sweet fondness that radiated from Mahiru, Shidou couldn’t deny that it made his stomach turn, how he manipulated this poor girl without even realizing. Or, he had simply convinced himself that he had. No matter what, they were evil in the world, in the eyes of this place, their souls no longer seeping into the crust of the earth.
Mahiru insisted that Shidou check up on her almost daily. Maybe it was a ploy, or maybe he did this to her. Maybe she noticed that Shidou relished pain. He was supposed to be a nurturer, yet his stomach turned in knots whenever Mahiru confided in him. Yet he destroyed himself.
Bases are deceptively corrosive. They can seem harmless, slowly eating away at whatever it gets to. Strong soap can turn what feels like a warm hug into nothing, stripping away layers upon layers of oil and skin.
Shidou was unclean. Mahiru was saccharine. He couldn’t possibly understand why she even thought it was fit to talk to him about matters unrelated to how she was healing. In that matter, she was just okay. Some broken bones or concussions can never fully heal. Despite everything, Mahiru still radiated warmth. More akin to a plutonium core than any star.
All acids do is eat away. They aren’t pretty. They just melt and decompose. Shidou felt disgusting. Thinking of any one of his fellow prisoners should make him feel disgusted in himself for even fantasizing that they looked up to him. Maybe he truly was taking advantage of Mahiru, how clumsy and muddled she was recently. It was his second nature to hurt, after all. He couldn’t love, but he could want. He could lust. Shidou cared, but toasted to disgusting thoughts and destruction in the night.
“Shidou-san…?” A meek knock came from the wall next to his cell. There was no lights-out rule, but it was still late, for the both of them. He gently rolled his sleeve back down an arm speckled with round burns and blisters, shuffling to his cell door and peeking through his makeshift blinds made of extra sheets.
“Shiina-chan. Are you okay?” Maybe she was just confused. Mahiru took a bit to respond, the dim light from his room and his cigarette not allowing him to make out her face. “Kind of…Mahiru is just hurting, and can’t sleep well.”
Shidou couldn’t fathom what he wanted to do. Maybe what he thought his true intentions were finally caught up and eroded out of his mind. He was disgusting. He was taking advantage of some poor girl. “Would you like some company for a while?”
Mahiru simply giggled and nodded, before she tried to shuffle past Shidou. Oh. He slinked away a bit, keeping the door ajar in an effort to clear the smoke and his thoughts. She sat on the edge of his bed, his own bed, seemingly not a care in the world. At least she seemed happier than before, rocking back and forth gently.
Shidou paced back to his bedside table, grabbing a lighter and relighting his cigarette that had already smoldered out. He sat a distance away from Mahiru, the new hits of nicotine not helping to calm himself. Despite the smoke, she scooted a bit closer to him. Bad news.
"Mahiru really does appreciate Shidou-san for helping her…" He looked up at the voice that cut through the silence. "Mahiru thinks that she might love Shidou-san!" Oh.
She really was confused. Her brain was hurt, yet her tone was still genuine. Shidou couldn't deserve love. He slowly dissolved and ruined anything he touched. But Mahiru was sweet like mellification and phenol. She made him want again. "Are you sure?"
Mahiru pouted, trying to scoot closer to Shidou with her good leg. "Mahiru is sure! She feels so nice around Shidou-san, and even if we don't share any inte-" She was cut off by his words. "What kind of love is it?"
Mahiru looked down, a troubled expression on her face. "I don't know." She turned away, rocking in her seat. Shidou was the one that went closer for once. He reached out slowly, putting his hand on her back. She flinched, a scared face turning back towards him.
Shidou hesitated. His words took too long to come to him. He took another drag off his cigarette and sighed. "Whatever it is...I care about Mahiru-chan too. I just do not know my own feelings." Mahiru finally softened, turning back to him and nodding.
“We can talk more later. I just have a hard time distinguishing my own feelings, as well.” Mahiru hummed in response as Shidou lit another cigarette. She simply watched him, as he methodically put it in between his lips and lit it.
"Can Mahiru try?" Shidou looked over to her, puzzled. "I guess. I just didn't see you as the type." He handed her the cigarette that was previously in his mouth. Ew. "Remind me to lecture you about the dangers later." Mahiru giggled, trying to inhale some smoke.
Shidou pat her back as she coughed and sputtered. "You need to get used to it." She got her breathing regulated again. "Now I know. And Shidou-san can teach me~" She handed the cigarette back, watching as he put it back in between his lips.
They sat in each other's presence for a bit. Maybe Shidou could handle her, if she made him feel calm with himself. He took a drag, focusing on the feeling of smoke in his body. "Are you feeling better, at least?"
Mahiru hummed and looked up. "Mhm~ Thank you."
He almost felt relieved. He reached out his hand, and she took it. They were both evil, caustic, but they could get to know eachother.