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Hurts just Right

Summary:

You've always known that your boyfriend Sanzu Haruchiyo keeps secrets from you, but you never anticipated his secret would be this big. Whenever the truth comes out your feelings for one another escalate leading to one unforgettable evening.

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You know he’s hiding things from you.

Your Haru.

You know he comes home late every night thinking you’re asleep as he tosses his bloody clothes aside, showers, and climbs into bed with you.

You know there’s more to your Haru than meets the eye.

But you play the innocent housewife with rose-colored glasses. You make him dinner, do his laundry which he assures you is stained from something else -- something unassuming. He’s given you countless excuses, countless different jobs -- but you’re getting suspicious of your Haru.

Especially today, when he’s chosen to skip out on the dinner you’ve made for him, whenever he walks straight towards the shower the two of you share.

You roll over, peaking over your shoulder.

Those white sleeves of his.

Covered in a mysterious red substance that you’re sure isn’t ketchup…

He rolls them up, walking into the bathroom as he curses under his breath, talking about the difficulty of the job he’s completed today to himself. Of how that one struggled too much.

Of how frustrating it was to kill the damn thing.

Your eyes widen as your mouth forms an O-shape, rendering a silent gasp.

He seems to pick up on your suspicion and quickly tears his shirt and vest off, walking back into the bedroom.

You’re already back in your original spot, eyes shut tightly, pretending that you haven’t heard a thing. But your Haru knows different. Despite your suspicions, he’s been a good husband to you. So good, in fact, that he knows you better than yourself in most respects. He reaches out a hand and places it firmly on your shoulder and you flinch, still pretending to be asleep.

He laughs, curling a hand through his pink hair before he rolls you over and props you up with some additional pillows. “Suppose I owe you an apology.” He mutters in a teasing tone. “I tried to keep you from this life, but you’re too smart for your own good. Now you’re stuck here.” Stuck? You open your mouth to plead with the man you thought was your husband only for nothing to come out. You just blink hesitantly. “Now, now.” He tuts, grabbing your chin delicately. “Nothing’s gonna change. We’re still gonna play house together with one exception. You aren’t going to leave. But that’s a good thing isn’t it? I won’t have to hide and you won’t have to worry about keeping a job. I’ll provide for you. All I ask, in return, is that you’re a good girl for me. You will be good won’t you? For your Haru?”

"S-Sanzu," you whisper in response, clutching the blankets that are draped to the side. In a comforting fashion, you pull them upwards. "I-I'm scared."

"Shh," he whispers, caressing the side of your cheek. "And where did that come from? Sanzu? I thought I was your Haru." He was your Haru. You let out a whimper as you finally jump out of bed, rushing towards the door.

"I-I think we need some time apart," you mumble as you reach the doorknob. "I-it'll be good for our relationship." Before you can open the door to your bedroom, he's towering above you, his hands on both sides of your head. He looks at you concerned.

"Don't do this to me, (y/n). I need you." No he doesn't. He doesn't need you. You frown, shaking before him.

"Haru, please." You whimper out. "I won't say anything I promise. I just can't do this. I can't be with you knowing what you do." Almost instinctively, as you speak, you notice a change in Sanzu. He stares at you intensely. The hands beside your head are balled into fists. He clenches his jaw and swallows as he removes one hand from the door and runs it through his bright pink hair.

"We're going to make this work. I've put too much time and effort into this life to just give up. And I won't let you give up on me either." Your heart stirs. You're fearful but there's something else there. Do you still love him? Even after knowing what he does for a living? Can you stay with a killer?

Your eyes fill with tears which slowly cascade down your face onto your pink babydoll lingerie set. You open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

"Haru," you begin. "The way you love. It's not practical. It's not healthy. Look at the way you put Manjiro on a pedestal. You're afraid. I know you're afraid, but people parting from one another is a part of life. Don't you want me safe above all else?"

"You are safe." He responds quickly without much thought. "I promised I'd always protect you. That wasn't a lie." Before you can respond, his hands are on your hips, picking you up. "I'm taking you back to bed. Tomorrow things will be different." He puts you over his shoulder, making his way towards the bed. You kick backwards and reach your hands out in a swimming motion, trying to get him to drop you.

"SANZU! LET ME GO!"

"We're going to make this work." He repeats, placing you back on the bed. You try to stand, to get up, but he's towering above you, gripping your thighs.

"L-let me go. Please."

"I can't do that sweetheart." He repeats. You kick your legs outwards trying to squirm out of bed. "Don't make me tie you to the bed post."

"You wouldn't." You scoff.

"That's cute." Sanzu responds, grinning, as he grips your chin. "The way you pout whenever you don't get what you want. You know? I like this bratty look on you. It makes me want to fuck it out of you." The two of you haven't been intimate before. You don't know what he's talking about. You instinctively reach a hand up, slapping his cheek. He laughs.

"You're adorable, (y/n). So spirited." Sanzu rubs his cheek and cocks his head to the left. "I think I will tie you up. Just to make sure you don't try and get away."

"I hate you." You don't, really. These words are meaningless. You're caught in the moment. You clench your jaw. Even Sanzu can see through you.

"Don't worry. I've saved the softest rope for you. It won't even leave a mark. Now stay put or you'll make this worse on yourself." Sanzu turns away. For a moment you think about making a quick escape, but you know it'll be no good. Even if you weren't still in love with him it would be unsafe. He'd find you. And worse. He'd hurt your loved ones. You know he has power and he isn't above murder. The man you fell in love with can easily manipulate you and anyone he else he wants. You're stuck. You watch him leave the room hopelessly as you feel your eyes fill with tears once again. You hate this. You hate that you're crying for him. You swallow it down, trying to stop yourself from crying. It's no good. This sense of hopelessness is catching up to you.

You sniffle as the door opens up once again. Sanzu walks in holding a few yards of what looks like velveteen rope. He walks to the side of the bed and gently grabs your hand, pulling it towards the rope. "Go ahead. Feel of it." You do. It really is soft. "I was actually saving it for later. I had planned on using it on you but never got around to it." He's fantasized about tying you up? You bite your lip. "In fact, sweetheart, I don't think you've let me touch you."

"We've never been intimate before," you sniffle out. "A-and you were going to be my first-"

"Oh?" He responds, running fingers over your wrists. "Looking the way you do it's hard to believe you've never had a partner."

"Whenever I met you I fell in love." You mumble out. "I planned our life out in my head. But that was before I knew-" He sits beside you, caressing your cheek once more.

"You know I don't have to be rough with you. I can be gentle." There he goes again. You know this is just a manipulation tactic, but you can't help but fear what he had in mind otherwise. You nod your help.

"T-that sounds nice Haru." Haru. You called him Haru again. His eyes light up as he leans over you, kissing you. The kiss is deep and passionate, his tongue finding yours, his teeth finding your bottom lip. It causes a reaction in you. You feel your toes curl upwards and your stomach flip and suddenly your attention is drawn towards your thighs. It's so warm down there. It's so -

Sanzu pulls away and your eyes widen.

"I... I liked that." You admit.

"I know." He responds, his lip curling upwards. "I could tell." Sanzu tosses the rope aside and climbs on top of you. "Help me with my tie." You do, your hands moving without much thought. You reach upwards and unlatch his tie, tossing it aside.

"Can I help you with your waistcoat and shirt too?"

"Eager now?" He grins. "Go ahead." You unbutton his waistcoat and it ends up on the ground along with his top. You glance at the floor where his shirt lay askew and he grabs your chin, as if indicating that you need to pay attention to him. "I'll help you with laundry later darling." Your fingers find his pants next, unbuttoning them. He's grinning before you now, his smile wide exposing his scars. You're moving without thinking, your head quirking backwards on the pillow as you stare into his eyes. With one hand, you reach upwards and trace the scars with your fingers. His hand finds your hand and his eyes grow soft. "Not there. Not now."

"You're beautiful, Haru." You whimper out, completely lost in the moment. He shakes his head, moving your hand back downwards to your side.

"Enough of that now."

"I - I mean it -" You really are in love aren't you? You're completely enamored. You know this is unhealthy. You know that being with a criminal who's very obviously murdered someone -- several someones -- isn't a good idea, but you can't help yourself. All of that struggle.

You were lying to yourself. You flutter your eyelashes, spreading your legs outwards below Sanzu. "I'm glad you're going to be my first, Haru. Maybe you're right." Your words come out wistfully, as if you're in some sort of trance. "We can make this work." You giggle.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" You don't know. Frankly you don't care. Your body is fighting against your true nature. It's influencing you to do the unthinkable. The unreasonable. Your mouth opens, forming an O-shape as you close your eyes. Your arms drape around Sanzu's neck as you pull him downwards, wanting his embrace more than anything.

"I want you to touch me." You say confidently. "Everywhere. Now." He laughs.

"So you think you're in control now?" He raises an eyebrow. "Don't forget that I'm the one making the call here."

"Hmph." Pouting, you curl a hand through Sanzu's hair. You listen to him laugh again.

"No, really. I think it's adorable. But you still have to behave for me. Otherwise -"

"No!" You exclaim. "I don't want you to tie me up. I'll behave. I promise."

"That's a good girl." Good girl. Why does that cause a reaction in you? You rub your thighs together.

"You let me help you undress. Why don't you take my clothes off Haru?"

"Because I like you in that lingerie set. It's endearing. You look like some sort of housewife."

"Is that what you're into?"

"You bet."

"Guess I'm your little housewife then. Why don't you deflower me?" Where is this coming from? Who is this person you've embodied? This is wrong, but you're too far gone to stop yourself. You're met with even more laughter as Sanzu gets off the bed. You prop yourself up, pouting at the loss of his indention, the mattress becoming lighter.

"Hold that thought." He reaches for a cigarette. Your Haru and his vices. It's better than the pills, you think to yourself, sliding your legs off the side of the bed. You've managed to help him quit at home for the most part, but you aren't sure what he does behind the scenes.

"C'mon, Haru. Don't tease me."

"You're the one being a little tease. Not even ten minutes ago you were telling me you hated me. I don't know where this persona came from, but I think I like it."

"Me too." You giggle as you watch Sanzu light the cigarette. Even the scent of the smoke that you inhale drives you crazy, your heartrate picking up. "Please." You beg. "I don't know what I'm asking for, but please. Don't make me wait."

"You made me wait." Sanzu responds without much effort, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "It's only fair isn't it?" This is insane. You're frustrated now. You stand up and approach him, sitting in his lap. You reach up and grab his chin, kissing the underside of it and then finding his lips, tasting smoke on them.

"So impatient. Fine." Sanzu rolls his eyes as he puts the cigarette out, helping you back on the bed. His rough, calloused hands find your stomach, reaching underneath your lingerie to grip your hips. He caresses them gently and proceeds upwards, gripping the underside of your breasts. He removes one of his hands and reaches for the straps of the lingerie set, pulling them downwards. You bite your lip. This is whenever the nerves set in. You swallow, feeling your cheeks heat up. The nerves and the insecurity.

"You know-" You begin.

"No backing out now." Sanzu responds with a grin.

"I just - are you sure about this? You said you liked the lingerie-"

"And you said you wanted it off."

"I think I've changed my mind Haru. Please-"

"Stop that. You're perfect." He means that. You know he does. You shake your head, turning it to the side to avoid making eye contact with him. "Don't worry about it. Soon you'll forget all about those nerves and insecurities of yours." Finally, he tugs the top off of you. Then come the panties. You bite the inside of your cheek, closing your eyes shut. He waits for a moment, his fingers finding the waistband. Eventually his fingers trace your thighs. "You ready princess?" That's a new one. You open your eyes again and look down at him nodding your head. Without much warning he tugs the panties off, tossing them aside, presumably on top of his waistcoat and top. He said he'd help you with laundry later and you're getting distracted again. Somehow Sanzu picks up on this, resting between your thighs. He looks up at you and smiles, his hands pushing your legs aside.

"H-Haru what are you-" Before you can finish, you feel his tongue inside of you. That's also new! "H-Haru!" You start to squirm and his hands grip your legs, restricting your movement. He concentrates on you, actually going so far as to use his teeth as well, nibbling on your folds and tugging upwards. you bite your lip. This is all new to you. You've touched yourself of course, but you've never experienced something like this before. Then, he's separating himself from your center, licking his lips. His fingers find your center next, two long calloused fingers entering you without so much of a warning. You start to squirm again, and he's using his other hand to hold you downwards.

"I know what I'm doing." You don't doubt it! "You just have to trust me sweetheart. You do, don't you?"

"I - I do!"

"Say you trust me."

"I - I trust you!"

"What a good girl you are." Then three fingers are inside of you, his other hand stretching you open.

"I - I need something else I -"

"Something bigger?"

"Y-yes that's it I - I -"

"C'mon. You're almost there." He sticks his fingers back inside of you and you whimper.

"HARU!"

"Use your words princess."

"I - I want you inside of me! Please!"

"Cute." He laughs as he proceeds to tug his underwear off himself. He lines himself up at your entrance, grabbing some pillows and propping them up behind you as he pushes you into the headboard. Without warning he's inside of you in one go. "There. How does that feel?"

"I-it hurts!"

"Shh." He pushes a finger towards your lips as he pulls outwards. "I guess that was too much. Let me take it slower." And he does, slowly pushing himself inside of you this time, his hands finding your breasts. With his fingers, he draws tiny circles around your nipples, watching as they become erect. He fondles your breasts, gently grabbing and massaging them as he finally pushes himself in you fully. This time you're prepared, distracted by stimulation elsewhere. Your body is completely on fire and at his mercy at this point. Your fingers find his hair again, tugging at the strands gently. He laughs. "You sure you're new to this?" He knows the answer. He's just teasing you. You plant your feet downwards behind him as he slides in out of you, picking up the pace. He's larger than you expect, filling you up entirely. Your head finds the crook of his neck as he's inside of you completely and one of his hands grabs your chin. He bites at your neck, sucking just enough to leave a mark. He grins, tracing your neck as he pulls away.

"Move already!" You exclaim.

"You really are impatient." Sanzu taunts.

"Just do it already!"

"If you insist." He picks up the pace, moving in and out of you, carefully fondling your breasts and tracing your sides to give you further stimulation. It's a lot all at once but you can't help but to admit that it feels great. It's almost as if you've been waiting your entire life for this moment. Getting to be completely intimate with someone you care deeply about. All of your worries fade away as he slides in and out of you. "Sweetheart-" He pauses for a moment. You know. You giggle, curling fingers through his hair once more.

"Can we look into each others eyes? Please?" You flutter your eyelashes sweetly, and he glances at you, causing your stomach to flip again as he pushes you downwards into the mattress.

"Think we can do this together? That's what you want? Isn't it?"

"Y-yes!" You exclaim.

"Mmm. Good girl." Whenever he says this, you feel something stir in you. Then you cum together.

And you share an intimate moment. He doesn't part from you, opting to lay on top of you, not breaking eye contact. You whimper.

That's whenever it sets in.

You really are stuck here.

You might as well make the most of it.

Maybe there's nothing wrong with playing housewife. You smile as Sanzu finally parts from you, pulling himself away as he drapes a robe around him. What's that look on his face? Is that disappointment? Resentment? You frown.

"I'm not feeling up to doing laundry." Sanzu says simply. You can't help but laugh, hiding your face behind two hands. "Can't we do it tomorrow?"

"Of course," you respond, practically at a loss for what you've just experienced and all of the feelings that lead up to it.

"Thank you darling. Let's get you cleaned up before bed." And then, as if he wasn't an insane criminal, he's picked you up bridal style, carrying you towards the bathroom. "A warm bath will help you rest."

You aren't sure how you got here, but you know something for certain.

There's no getting out of this relationship now.

You're stuck and you aren't entirely unhappy about it.