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Jimin finds Jeongguk quietly slips into his bed almost every night. Sometimes he wakes up, feeling Jeongguk pressed up against him and nuzzling into Jimin's chest. Those nights their arms and legs will tangle together and Jimin will run a hand through Jeongguk's hair, whispering how good Jeongguk is and how well he has been doing, how important he is to Bangtan and Jimin himself. He knows he drops subtle hints about how he really feels, how in love he really is with Jeongguk but he also knows Jeongguk is a bit too dense to get it. He's thankful for it, but silently hopes one day he'll understand, one day he'll say he feels the same...After about an hour Jeongguk will fall asleep to the sound of Jimin's heart beats and Jimin will force himself to sleep with Jeongguk tucked so close to him.
But there are nights where Jimin doesn't wake up. On those night Jeongguk will curl up against Jimin, his high body heat pleasantly cooled down by Jimin's own and Jeongguk will trace lines down whatever patch of skin he can. Sometimes he can get away with trailing his fingers over Jimin's features; the shape of his eyes, the bridge of his nose, or the shape of his lips that are always slightly parted when he is deep asleep.
Jeongguk's favorite thing to do is drag his thumb across Jimin's cheekbones, rubbing carefully and tracing the bone up to his hairline and then pushing his fingers lightly through the soft strands. He loves admiring Jimin like this, different from during the day when he can only steal glances here and there. Now Jeongguk can see everything up close, can really admire every little scar or blemish that makes Jimin who he is. He memorizes everything that he thinks could be a reason he's fallen so hard for the elder, like the shape of his lips when he make different faces; a smile, a frown, a pout which is his personal favorite. Or even the size difference between his eyes. Jeongguk knows it's because he had to get stitches in one of them, knows how self conscious Jimin is of it and wishes he could tell him how perfect and beautiful it is. Jeongguk wishes more than anything he could tell Jimin how perfect he is, how much Jeongguk fucking loves him as how nothing could ever make Jimin less perfect than he already is.
On those nights Jeongguk will throw and arm around Jimin and fall asleep listening to the sound of his breathing before the pain of such a one sided love can settle in.
In the mornings Jimin wakes up to Jeongguk pressed against him, forehead against his chest and an arm around his waist. It takes him a minute to figure out how to settle the fluttering in his stomach and calm his heart beat enough to wake the younger. Normally, Jeongguk will saunter back into his room and Jimin will be left to figure out what this all means.
This morning is different. When Jimin wakes up he is laying on his back with Jeongguk draped over him, his head resting in the corner of Jimin's neck. To the side he can see Taehyung dressing and leaving the dorm which is unusual this early when they have a day off.
"Jeongguk.." He whispers, softly shaking the younger. "It must be late Jeongguk we have to get up." The younger stirs slightly, rolling over and murmuring something about their day off and then burying his face into the sheets.
Jimin sighs, tucking his arm behind his head and admiring the silence. The world Jimin lives in is constantly busy, filled with all kinds of noise, movement and excitement where there's rarely a time to relax. Now Jimin can fully appreciate the silence, the calm stillness of the room and he feels his heart flutter thinking that he gets to share this moment with Jeongguk.
"Hey...say it again." The younger says over a rustle of sheets as he turns to face Jimin, eyes still closed. Jimin blinks at the boy wondering what he could mean before he remembers that Jimin was asleep when Jeongguk crawled into his bed.
"You're doing so well, Jeongguk." He says, dragging his fingers through his hair. "Your voice has improved and you're doing so well learning the new choreography. Your dancing might even be better than Hoseok." It's all the same words, they feel stale in Jimin's mouth. They're the same thing Jimin says every time Jeongguk comes to him, it almost feels fake saying them but Jimin thinks the faint smile that lightens Jeongguk's face makes it worth it.
"You listen well and excel at the things you're told to do. You're such a good boy Jeongguk. Such a good boy." Jimin says, hand trailing down to the younger's face as his thumb swipes across his cheekbone. Jimin thinks he hears Jeongguk make a noise, a slight whimper maybe, but continues anyways.
"You listen to hyungs well and even respect me a little more than you used to." A nudge from Jeongguk's head pushes up into Jimin's palm.
"You're always on time to rehearsal and the first one awake and did so well producing your own song." Jimin watches Jeongguk suck in his bottom lip chewing on it with his eyes still closed. It makes Jimin wonder...
"You've really--been a good boy." He says as his fingers run through his hair again.
"My good boy." An unmistakeable noise coming from Jeongguk. It's still small and if there were any other noise maybe Jimin would have missed the quiet moan fall from Jeongguk's lips afterwards. He nuzzles into Jimin's hand and complains when Jimin stops talking, stops combing through his hair.
"Jeongguk..?" Suddenly there's no time for any more words, because Jeongguk is pressing his lips to Jimin's, one hand holding Jimin's wrist and another wrapping around his neck to bring them closer. Jeongguk's leg slips between Jimin's, pressing them closer while Jeongguk moans into the kiss.
Jimin is the first to break it, pulling away softly to ask why. His only response is a whine from Jeongguk whose pressed their foreheads together. He's already out of breath.
"Please hyung." He says quietly. Hyung, that's a new one Jimin thinks before Jeongguk is settling himself on Jimin's lap, hands on either side of his head as he leans down to kiss him again. His tongue swipes at Jimin's bottom lip at the same time he rocks their hips together, making Jimin's hands fly up to grasp at Jeongguk's arms, a moan on his lips.
It gives Jeongguk enough leave to push his tongue in, tasting Jimin and deepening the kiss. There's a push and pull between Jeongguk and Jimin, taking turns biting each other's bottom lip. Jeongguk pulls back first and reaches back to pull off the white shirt he wore. Jimin's hands come up immediately, stroking Jeongguk's sides and running his hands over his abs.
"You're beautiful, perfect." He says, making Jeongguk moan.
"You-you don't have to--really." He says, mouth sounding dry as he closes his eyes. Jimin wonders if Jeongguk is even vaguely aware of his praise kink but decides to save the conversation for another time. Instead he runs his hands through Jeongguk's hair, pulling him down so that every word Jimin says brushes their lips together.
"You're so beautiful Jeongguk, so fucking perfect, every inch of you." Jimin watches a faint blush spread across Jeongguk's cheeks, feels his labored breath against his skin and decides they're both wearing entirely too much clothes.
Jimin starts with removing his own clothes and smirks when he catches Jeongguk staring, eyes lingering longer on his chest than anywhere else. He continues by pushing Jeongguk back and pulling his loose sweats down, entertaining the thought that Jeongguk came into his bed without any underwear specifically for this purpose.
"Be a good boy." He says against Jeongguk's thighs where he presses short kisses here and there before he licks a stripe up Jeongguk's length. He sucks lightly on the tip, watching Jeongguk tug his bottom lip between his teeth before Jimin takes all of him.
Jeongguk moans rather loudly, fingers tangling in Jimin's hair while another hand grasps at his arm. His fingers dig crescents into Jimin's flesh while Jimin bobs his head, tonguing the underside of Jeongguk as he sucks. It lasts about two minutes, of Jeongguk's hips pushing up into Jimin's mouth with breathless moans, curse words and fuck Jimin, just like that falling from his lips before Jeongguk pulls him off.
It takes Jimin an addition five or six minutes of kissing Jeongguk and hands fumbling over the bottle of lube before he has two fingers inside the younger. Jeongguk squirms and whines beneath him, his hips rocking on Jimin's fingers and begging for him to keep talking.
It isn't dirty talk, Jeongguk knows the difference. He can't understand it, especially not with Jimin's fingers fucking him open while his other hand strokes himself to match his thrusts. There's just something about Jimin telling Jeongguk how good he is that makes his heart pound, starts a fire in the pit of his stomach and gets him harder than anything he's ever heard in his life.
"You're doing well Jeongguk, you always do so well, you're my good boy, right?" Jeongguk curses, unsure if he wants to rock up into Jimin's fist or down on his fingers. He lets a moan out, not even noticing when Jimin slips in a third finger, thrusting hard and fast against that spot that makes him see stars.
"Fuck Jimin, fuck I'm gonna-" Jimin pulls off, much to the younger's objection. He settles for crawling up Jeongguk's body, leaving wet kisses everywhere he pleases while Jeongguk squirms underneath him. Once he finally reaches Jeongguk's face he kisses the corners of his eyes, the tip of his nose and the corners of him mouth before finally pressing their lips together. They're flush against each other, chests touching with each labored breath and if Jeongguk circles his hips just right, he can brush their cocks together, eliciting a frustrated moan from both.
"Jimin please." Jeongguk moans against his lips, his voice sounds wrecked and needy and makes Jimin even more impatient. He sits back, spreading Jeongguk's legs and slotting himself between them before slicking himself. Jeongguk's breathing is heavy, his chest rising and falling almost violently and there's a blush trailing down his neck, spreading over his collarbone. Jimin smirks at the dark spots forming all over Jeongguk's body, warmth and possessiveness filling his chest. If even for this short moment, while Jimin thinks he has always belonged to Jeongguk, Jeongguk finally belongs to him too. At this time, if never again, they belong to each other.
"Jimin..." Jeongguk whispers, a hand trailing up his chest with concern in his eyes. Jimin instinctively holds it against him, allowing Jeongguk to feel his heart beat before leaning down and positioning himself at Jeongguk's entrance. He pushes in slowly, feeling the heat envelop him and wanting to hear the noises Jeongguk makes for the rest of his life. He feels Jeongguk arch up underneath him, pulling a breathless moan from his chest.
Their fingers tangle together against the bed and Jimin lets out a breath when their hips are flush against each other. Jeongguk's legs wrap around Jimin, urging him to move with a whine.
"Fuck, Jeongguk-so good." Jimin sets a soft pace, slow and hard and Jeongguk is making all these little noises while wrapped completely around Jimin and Jimin thinks he wants to drown in Jeongguk forever.
He wants his scent around him forever, wants to hear his voice forever, he wants to see Jeongguk forever; focused, worried, smiling, sleeping, crying, Jimin selfishly wants it all for himself as he pushes into Jeongguk's tight heat, so much it overwhelms him.
Faintly, Jimin hears Jeongguk moaning out his name, pleading for him to go faster and harder and he does, using one hand to rest on the younger's hips and the other squeezing his hand.
It's when Jimin pushes his legs back farther, though making sure Jeongguk was still comfortable, he pushes in deeper and teasingly grinds into Jeongguk before thrusting in and out again and each thrust hits right fucking there catching him off guard.
Jeongguk throws his head back, letting out an obscenely loud moan. Jimin's hips are a constant onslaught of pushes and presses against that spot, lighting a fire inside Jeongguk. There's very few misses in between each thrust making Jeongguk's stomach wind in an almost over stimulating feeling.
"Open your eyes." He hears Jimin say, he isn't sure when he closed his eyes but Jimin thrusts harder to emphasize his command and Jeongguk is mewling, focused solely on the feeling of Jimin inside him as he takes in Jimin's expression. His eyes hold an absolute possessiveness, one he's never seen before and the fact that it's only for him makes him let out a string of curses and moans he's sure the entire building can hear.
"Good boy, my good boy." Jimin says, completely losing himself in the feeling of Jeongguk so tight around him, humming when the other keens at the praise. He's not sure where the possessive streak came from but he lets it take over, never wanting this to end. He watches Jeongguk beneath him, listens intently to the short gasps and low moans punching their way out of him and gets lost in the feeling of being surrounded by Jeongguk, smirks at the way he clenches around Jimin.
"Fuck baby, so tight, are you close? You gonna come for me?" The words have Jeongguk almost spasming around Jimin, the absolute dominance in his voice making him clutch desperately for something to hold on to, something to ground him. Eventually his hand settles around Jimin's wrist, still attached to his hip and he can feel each thrust in more than one place now, each continuous jab at that spot pulling him closer and closer to release.
There's something about Jeongguk clutching at Jimin, hearing his voice begging for him that makes this feeling well up in him, this absolute need to have Jeongguk like this with him, for him, because of him for the rest of his life.
"Fuck Jeongguk, I love you. I love you so fucking much, Jeongguk." He says, voice breaking somewhere in middle and finishes off with a moan while his pace falters from being so fucking close.
In the end, it's the way Jeongguk squeezes around Jimin, the way his face twists in pleasure and the sound of him crying out incoherent mixes of Korean and English as he finally comes that leads Jimin to thrust in deep one last time before he comes so hard he sees spots in his vision.
They're both shaking when they come back, Jeongguk's hips unconsciously rocking against Jimin in the last attempts to ride out the pleasure. Their loud pants fill the room as Jimin collapses against Jeongguk, both of them too exhausted to even think about moving.
Eventually Jimin finds the energy to pull out, careful not to hurt Jeongguk, and rolls to the side. He watches Jeongguk get up, padding over to grab a towel and wipe himself off. When he climbs back into bed, it feels different. Jimin feels different. The air is awkward, as if they both don't really know the consequences of what they'd just done and Jimin vaguely thinks it has something to do with his confession.
When they both speak its at the same time, interrupting each other before they both fall silent again. Jimin can't bare the thought of losing this, of losing Jeongguk just when they'd gotten so close. He wants to take it all back, he wishes he'd never opened his mouth in the first place because while he's sure Jeongguk wanted to fuck him, he's unsure of anything else. Maybe that's all Jimin has been, a form of physical pleasure and comfort when Jeongguk couldn't get it from anyone else.
Maybe Jimin really is in this alone.
"You can--you can forget what I said earlier." He says quietly and God does it fucking hurt to say that because somewhere inside Jimin, underneath all the doubt a regret there's a small part of him that desperately wishes Jeongguk would have said it back to him. A large part of him wishes he was more to Jeongguk, that Jeongguk would confess to him as well but then what would come of that anyways?
"Why would I?" Jeongguk says. Jimin turns to look at him. Jeongguk lays on his side, red dusts his cheeks, a sharp contrast to the intent look in his eyes and determination in his voice.
"Tell me how you feel Jimin. How you really feel." He says, looking content to wait until Jimin is less speechless to answer him. Jimin worries his bottom lip between his teeth, weighing the pros and cons of really confessing.
"I've been in love with you since the day we met." He begins, unsure how this will affect their relationship afterwards but let's the words pour out anyways.
"I love you so much it feels like I'm suffocating. Sometimes I feel like every thing can be too much and everything is going wrong but then I look at you and--I see you smile and it all feels worth it. Just being around you makes everything worth it, all the troubles and hard times are worth it because you're there with me. I'd give anything for you, just to see you smile and hear you laugh I, fuck I promised I'd take this to the grave but Jeongguk I'm so in love with you I don't even know what to do with myself. And it hurts more than anything that I can't have you." When Jimin finishes he feels a lump settled in his throat. He doesn't look at Jeongguk, afraid to see the rejection or disgust on his face. He stares ahead at the wall above him, eyes fluttering to keep the tears away because he cannot cry here, not now.
The silence that follows only confirms Jimin's fears and he thinks maybe he'll have to start learning how to live a life without Jeongguk centered around it. Then he feels Jeongguk's fingers wrapping loosely around Jimin's wrist that rests on his stomach. He watches Jeongguk lift his hand to his lips as he kisses each knuckle and smiles, holding Jimin's palm flat against his chest, right over his heart and Jimin definitely doesn't want to think about the flutter in his stomach right now.
"You're an idiot." Jeongguk states simply and presses a kiss to Jimin's lips, short and sweet.
"I love you too."