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Anakin hummed to him as he was sat in his starfighter, ready to complete his mission. He had been recently handed a mission to destroy a droid laser net. It was a difficult mission that demanded the utmost concentration, as he had to shoot several specific shots to take the network out completely. If he missed a single shot, then the mission would be a complete failure, and he may have the Separationist Army after him. “I’ve just to get into the proper position and then we can begin!”. He couldn’t wait to get in there and take them down.
The space inside the starfighter was small and rather cramped, but it didn’t bother him. He was used to being in such a small space, so he rather enjoyed it. He continued to hum to himself, not noticing that his stomach was letting out a gurgle of sorts as he got lined up the shot and grinned to himself when the first red dot exploded in a small fireball. “One down, five to go, and in a precise order no less!”, he grinned, getting lined up for the next shot and firing, grinning wider a second small fireball went off.
If Anakin was really honest with himself, he absolutely loved being in such a small space and feeling in control. With a large space, there were so many factors that could take away his control, such as a co-pilot. In here though, he could be himself and have complete control over the environment. He didn’t have to argue on with another person about what could have been different. His pleasant mood was shattered as his stomach groaned unhappily and a pang shot through him. “Ugh, how much did I eat?” Anakin grunted, putting his stomach’s loud complaining down to indigestion.
Just as he fired his third shot, a sharp pang raced through him, causing him to miss the shot, but luckily, it just hit inside the vicinity. Anakin wiped the sweat off his brow, and as he did, he wondered how it had gotten so hot in here. Another unhappy grumble, followed by several loud gurgles came from his stomach, and it was that point that he realizes that his stomach was upset. So it wasn’t a large meal that he had eaten, it was the meal that was giving him trouble! “I hope this passes soon!”, he groaned unhappily.
The Jedi began to rack his brain, trying his best to work out what the hell he had eaten that was causing him so much trouble. There was something that he ate that was not agreeing with him one little bit, and he was determined to find out what. He groaned as he lined up the fourth shot, and fired, watching as a fourth fireball exploded out the side of the ship. Two more to go, and main droid network would be completely unusable, allowing his team to pass straight through. His stomach gurgled again, and he began to panic.
By this stage, his stomach was making lots of noise, and it didn’t sound very happy at all. He grunted as he shifted in his seat, trying his best to get comfortable and refocus on the mission, but with a very unhappy stomach, it seemed like that was next to impossible right about now. He groaned and rubbed his angry stomach, trying his best to soothe it before he took his next shot. Anakin had been lucky this time, but it could be disaster if another pang strikes him whilst he’s lining up the shot, which could fail the mission.
Realising that holding in all this pressure probably wasn’t doing him any favours, Anakin grunted, letting out a small fart into the leather seat. He groaned happily as it was released, glad that he had risked it. The pressure had been building, and it would have been rather painful for him if he hadn’t done so. He grunted again and released another small one, sighing as his stomach calmed down slightly. He lined up the fifth shot and took it, breathing a huge sigh of relief as he saw the fifth fireball erupt on the side of the droid ship.
The smell was incredible. He groaned and shuddered, unable to believe he could produce something so gross. It was so strong smelling, but at the same time, he kind of liked the way the smell filled up the tiny cockpit, meaning there was no escape. Now he was very happy that he hadn’t got a co-pilot, or they would’ve been complaining about the smell. Now that he was more comfortable farting without it being worse, he felt a bit braver and let another one off. The leather seat shuddered and creaked as he began to look for the last target.
Relishing in the fact he could let more nasty gas off without consequences, he wasted no time letting off more, grinning as he felt the seat bulge slightly. He would make sure to mark this one as his own, so no-one could get it. “Ahh, that feels so much better!” He laughed, continuing to circle the ship. He had be careful. If he got too close, then he wouldn’t be able to shoot it, as he would be detected. Anakin was already playing it risky being this close to it. He grunted and continued to circle the ship with vigour.
Sighing in relief as he finally found the sixth target, a wave of fear washed over him when he realised that there were two large structures on either side that were powering a shield. It seemed that they knew what he was up to and were determined to protect this last target with all their might. Letting out another nasty fart, and moaning as the seat creaked again, he took aim, farted once more, and took out one of the generators, whooping as it went up in flames. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Take that Seperationist scum!”, He yelled.
As Anakin let off another nasty blast of gas, a horrible realisation washed over him. He realized he has to pass more than gas, and if he didn’t hurry up, they’d have to fumigate and completely clean out this cockpit. He groaned and quickly wiped out the remaining generator, wanting this to be over as soon as possible so he could take care of business. As the seconds ticked by, the pressure only grew, and the shield wasn’t dissipating. Why was it still up? As his eyes focused he noticed two more generators nearby. Of course it wasn’t that easy!
As Anakin lined up take out one of the backup generators, he struggled to hold himself together, as the pressure built some more. He took aim and fired, sighing with relief as he saw it go up, and an automated voice rang out. “Shield efficiency at fifty percent. Repair the generators immediately!”. Groaning, he realised that the shield would be fully functional soon, so he had to act fast. He began to line up to take out the other generator, groaning as another pang shot through him, making him struggle to aim on target. If he missed this, game over.
Taking aim once more, he grunted and pressed the button to fire, whooping in joy when the generator exploded and the shield fully dissipated. Once again, the voice rang out, “Shield efficiency at zero percent. Red alert, repair the generators immediately!”. Realising that it was now or never, Anakin began to line up his shot, before he felt a nasty pang shoot through him, making him whine and shudder, knocking his aim off. Grunting and sweating, he forced the aim back into the proper position. He hadn’t come this far to fail now! “Uggh, come on, just get this right!”
Clenching his eyes shut and hitting the fire button, he yelled in joy as the final target exploded. A loud rumbling and bangs exploding around him made him realise that it was time for him to leave. Without a moment’s hesitation, he turned the ship around and quickly flew away, as the droid laser net ship exploded, eventually culminating in a gigantic fireball. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and made his way back to the main ship. He couldn’t wait to tell them the good news, but there were more pressing matters he had to attend to first.
He had done the mission despite all of the setbacks. Now that the droid laser net ship had been wiped out, the Jedi main ship could pass through without a hitch. It was incredibly risky with the droid ship there, but now that it had been taken care off, there was nothing to stop them sailing through as plain as day. He pulled up the flight map and set a course for the fastest route back to the main ship. It wouldn’t take long to get there, but the ever building pressure made it seem like it would last forever.
Groaning as the pressure continued to build, he stomped his foot on the gas pedal as hard as he could, not caring if he got speed sickness. Right now, all he wanted to do was speed back to the main ship as fast as possible. It was getting almost unbearable to deal with, and the sooner that he got there and dealt with it, the better! “Ugh, please tell me they’ve moved it a bit closer!”, he groaned with relief as he saw the ship approach. He watched as the blast doors opened and drove in without a moment’s hesitation.
He opened the landing gear and parked in the hangar as fast as he can, not caring that he scratched the ship. Right now, all he wanted to go was run for the bathroom and deal with whatever this pressure was. He grunted and turned the engines off, before opening the cockpit and practically jumping out, running off for the bathroom. Why did he have to park at the furthest point from it? He picked up speed, not caring if everyone there was looking at him. He wanted to do one thing, and nothing was going to stop him now!
He continued running down the hangar, wanting to get there and get this over and done with. The longer he waited, the worse the pressure would get, and he didn’t want to fart and then embarrass himself in front of everyone in the hangar. As he continued running down the hangar, he ran straight past Obi wan and Ahsoka, unable to say anything. They looked at each other, feeling rather confused, but chose to ignore it, and carry on down the hangar at a normal pace. Meanwhile, Anakin was nearly to the bathroom. He had one flight of stairs left.
Anakin felt a pang of guilt for running past Obi Wan and Ahsoka without greeting, but when he was finished here, he would find them, apologise to them and then great them properly. He finally made his way to the bathroom, running into a stall and locking it. He was here, and now all he had to do was get undressed. Why was there so much to take off? It was insane that he didn’t get anything crossed or tangled up with how fast he was removing his clothing. “Nearly there, please don’t come out now. I’ve come this far!”
At long last he had removed everything, and he undid his trousers, sitting down and unleashing a really loud fart. He wouldn’t be surprised if anyone else had heard that. He blushed, feeling rather proud of himself for letting such a rank one out. He grunted and sighed in relief, as he felt everything happen. Thank goodness they hadn’t moved the ship, or else he would have been in very deep trouble. He panted a bit, before groaning, not realising how bad it was. “At least I don’t have to worry about missing another shot!” He laughed, farting once more.
