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Bradley is still fuming when Hangman emerges from Mav’s office, but he can’t help but shoot Jake a smug look. A much-needed ego check had been received, justice served for leaving countless comrades out to dry. For the first time, someone has bothered to tell Hangman that Hangman isn’t a good thing to be- it’s satisfying, even if that someone is Maverick.
But, when Hangman leaves that room, he doesn’t look embarrassed, or contemplative, or even pissed. He looks fucking terrified. His hands are shaking, and he lets out a stilted sigh of relief like he just narrowly escaped a horrible monster. Maverick’s dressing downs are bad, in Bradley’s own experience, but definitely not that bad. He hasn’t been genuinely scared of the man a day in his life.
“Are you okay?”
It’s out before Bradley can really question it. Even once it registers he can’t bring himself to regret it totally. His mother- and admittedly Maverick himself- didn’t raise a man who watches someone else break down passively. Not even someone he didn’t like.
“I…” And Hangman looks embarrassed now, now that whatever this is has an audience. Guarded and flinty, and Bradley realizes that Hangman is expecting him to gloat. Even if it is what Hangman would do if their positions were reversed, and Bradley isn’t entirely sure that it is, Bradley is almost offended that this is what Seresin assumes of him.
Hangman gestures to Maverick’s office door weakly, as if in explanation, then attempts to keep walking. His breathing remains shallow.
Bradley calls after him.
“You’re not scared of anything, Hangman, long as I’ve known you. What did he- what happened?
“Shut it, Rooster,” comes the answer. But it’s strangled, defeated almost, which isn’t how Seresin is supposed to sound. He’s supposed to be unshakeable. But there Jake is, leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath. When he looks at the scene before him, Bradley sees a part of himself that he had tried to destroy a long time ago.
And so he approaches, against his better judgment.
“Come on, now, I don’t need to know why. I just need you to breathe for me. Deep breaths.”
“Don’t. You. Dare. Don’t mock me, Rooster.” Stuttering inhales, not deep ones surely.
“I’m not, you’re having a panic attack and-”
Even through it, Hangman managed to look offended.
“I would know, I’ve had them before. Took me a long time to get comfortable in the air after what happened to my dad.”
Part of Bradley rebels against him for revealing so much. But he could remember the feeling of getting down and out of a plane, and it all hitting at once that his life had just been in his hands. And hiding that desperately from his classmates, who already thought he was washed-up at twenty-two. Besides, Hangman is the sort of person who likes to be even. Now they were even.
He reaches a hand for Hangman’s arm, but he steps quickly back. No touch, okay, he can work with that. Hangman darts a glance down the hall like he hears footsteps, but there’s no one there.
“Put your hand on my chest?”
Surprisingly, Hangman does. And instinctively, as Bradley suspected it would, the other man’s breath begins to even out. Bradley meets Seresin’s eyes and holds them as Hangman’s gaze becomes more and more present. After a few minutes, it’s clear that Hangman is seeing just Bradley again, and not whatever had spooked him in the first place.
Hangman lowers his hand, then, and slides the rest of the way down the wall to sit. It took a lot out of him, and that too is familiar. Wrangling your own stampeding feelings and memories is hard work. Bradley slides down to join him for some unknown reason. It’s like his bleeding heart’s pulling him around on a string, and that’s unusual for him. Something about Jake Seresin.
“I… It’s just…”
“You don’t have to say. I meant that.”
“It’s just that he said something my father used to say. If I fucked up. And when my father got to talking like that- I’ll just say that he wasn’t all bark and no bite, alright?”
“Maverick wouldn’t-” Hit you , is what Bradley was going to say, but Hangman is already shaking his head.
“I know, okay? It just gets hard to tell sometimes.”
Bradley lets the quiet settle over that. This, at least, he cannot relate to.
***
After about 10 minutes, Jake speaks up again.
“I’m sorry about your dad, Rooster.”
Bradley’s disbelief must show on his face, because Hangman hurriedly adds:
“Seriously. I said what I said because- well, it doesn’t matter. That was fucked up.”
“Even if it was true? Doesn’t make it right, but…It’s the same problem it always is. I get cold feet, I hesitate, then Mav does. I’m a control freak up there. Because maybe it’ll save my ass. Maybe it’ll keep everyone else alive. But then I remember that my father died because of a shitty piece of machinery. Nothing he did would’ve changed that.”
He’s never spoken these words aloud before but they feel so true on his lips . And what naturally follows…
Nothing Mav did would’ve changed it.
So much for only exposing what was necessary to Hangman, this man who had always hated and challenged and adhered to him wherever they went.
“I don’t think so, Bradshaw. I think he’s gonna pick you- for the whole thing, team leader even. And when he does, I need you to do whatever you have to to get through it. There ain’t gonna be another chance to get off that perch of yours.”
It was a soft echo of his words earlier, edges stripped away to reveal truth. A man flies like Maverick, or a man does not come home.
“You may be a piece of work, Hangman, but you’re a good pilot. The better pilot, if you’re to be believed. What makes you so sure?”
There’s a wry twist to Jake’s lips.
“I am a good pilot, Bradshaw. But you? You’re a good man.”
“Maybe. Goodness doesn’t keep you alive.”
It just makes everyone miss you more. Bradley sets his mouth into a harsh line. Jake’s eyes are unusually soft.
“It means that you can fly like a hero, Bradshaw. Like him. I know you can. You’re flying for the right reasons.”
“You’re not?”
“Believe it or not, I might have a thing or two left to learn.” Jake says it teasingly, but there is some sincerity lurking around his words. The lack of bluster leaves the version of Hangman next to him strangely unfamiliar. In the moment, Bradley wants to get to know that guy more than anything.
Bradley settles for offering the start of a smile and a hand up.