Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Kate was exhausted. She had just started this new route since she had finally gone off on her own and started to work for herself now. Her truck was officially hers, but for a while the hours would be longer and she’d probably take everything she could get just to make sure she was able to keep her new business afloat. It was stressful and scary, but she’d also never felt more free. She wasn’t tied down at all. Had no one or nothing to hurry back to so she could take these cross country jobs that no one else wanted and rake in the big bucks while she was at it. It all seemed to finally be coming together for her. 

Kate didn’t know the area at all and was far from home. She was starving and exhausted. She was also anxious because she nearly missed docking on time tonight. Now that she was in the clear, she desperately wanted to grab a proper bite to eat. It seemed like every restaurant she passed was already closed, and she wasn’t quite desperate enough to roll up to a truck stop and settle for the same food she’d been having the last two days. Just as she had nearly given up all hope, she saw a small diner with its lights still on and two cars in the parking lot. She sent up a quick prayer to whoever was listening and pulled in. Since the parking lot was practically empty, she didn’t worry too much about parking. After quickly putting her truck in park and locking it up properly, she walked to the door practically drooling as she thought about what she would finally get to eat tonight. She hadn’t had the pleasure of having a proper Texas meal and hoped that this small diner didn’t disappoint.

A man walked out as she approached the door and nearly let the door close behind him as he scowled at her. She lunged to catch it before it closed and nearly fell inside as she barely avoided a collision with someone. She shook her head as she righted herself and wondered where the myth of southern hospitality had gone so wrong.

“Sorry, we’re…” A short, brunette woman started to say as she looked up at Kate.

She was the most beautiful woman Kate had ever seen. Petite. Big, expressive eyes. And an unreadable expression on her face that quickly morphed into a bright and dazzling smile.

“Take whatever seat you’d like.” The brunette said as she walked past Kate and fumbled around with the door behind her. “What can I get you to drink?”

Kate was momentarily made speechless. She was never the most…functional around women she found attractive. But she also was never this completely useless. Not that she remembered anyway. As much as she found most women visually appealing, she didn’t have all that much actual experience with them. And it showed tonight. Unfortunately. 

“Um…I’ll just have some water. No caffeine or alcohol for me. But I do need to wash up. I’ve been stuck on the road and…” 

“No need to explain. The restrooms are in the back corner there.” She pointed vaguely behind them. “I’ll go get you your water.”

Kate nodded but screwed her eyes shut; embarrassed at her rambling. She opened them to find the waitress had already disappeared. So she dutifully walked to the back of the diner toward where the woman had pointed out the restrooms. She thoroughly washed her hands then examined herself in the mirror. She was a mess. Her white tank top had a few grease smudges and was wrinkled. Her face was dusty from God knows what. Kate put her hands under the stream of water again and ran them over her face. Then dried off and took another cursory glance. She definitely needed to be more aware of her appearance. Working with men all day suited her to look like a mess. Although, now she was regretting that decision. Fully. 

She wandered out of the bathroom and sat down in the nearest booth before her stupid knees gave out and humiliated her further. She needed to get it together. She needed to at least pass as a functional human in front of this beautiful woman. A few moments later, said woman appeared with a glass of ice water and a cup of something else.

“I thought maybe you could also benefit from some chamomile tea. On the house, of course.”

Kate got lost in her smile as the brunette set the items down in front of her.

“Oh! I appreciate that. Thank you.” Then she shook her head and tried to regain her composure. “You don’t have to do that though, I’m more than happy to pay for it. I should have thought of it myself.”

The small woman nodded and flashed another gorgeous smile at her. “My name’s Lucy. I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”

Kate cursed her own mind for how quickly it went to the gutter. She swallowed audibly but didn’t respond because she didn’t trust her own voice.

“What can I get you?”

Kate stared at her with confusion. Then her eyes widened. “Whistler!”

The woman, Lucy, frowned at her. Kate absent-mindedly hated that she was responsible for wiping the smile off Lucy’s face. 

“My name. Last name. It’s what I typically go by in my line of work. Sort of got used to it, because I’m a trucker.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “You already knew that because I told you as much and you can probably see my truck out in your parking lot.” She sighed. “Anyway, it helps with respect. They don’t automatically associate me with being a woman when I go by Whistler. And since I’m just starting out on my own, and haven’t completely solidified my reputation yet, I figured I could use all the help I can get. Thus…Whistler.”

Kate licked her suddenly dry lips and took a sip of her water before glancing back up at Lucy. Lucy was smiling at her softly. Kate did that. She decided that she only wanted to be the cause of her smiles, not her sadness, from that moment on. 

“Well, Whistler, I wish you the best of luck in your new business venture.” 

Kate smiled back as she ducked her head to hopefully hide her blush. “Thank you.” 

“What can I interest you in tonight?”

Kate’s blush deepened as her mind once again went… there.

“Is it a late dinner for you or an early breakfast?” Lucy tried again when Kate failed to answer.

“Honestly, I don’t even know. I just know I’m starving so I could literally eat anything you place in front of me at the moment.”

Lucy nodded thoughtfully. “How about I surprise you then? Do you have any food allergies or preferences I should know about?”

Kate shook her head wordlessly.

Lucy nodded again, this time resolute. “Okay. I have just the thing in mind.”

Kate watched her walk away. She pulled out her phone and made a note to remember this location. The town and the name of the diner. She was just south of McKinney, Texas at a place called, The Diner. Kate raised her eyebrow with curiosity at the name. Despite the odd name, or rather the lack of one, she planned to stop by on her way back home. And maybe she would make it a bi-weekly habit to stop here. Her eyes wandered around the place as she truly took it in for the first time. It was one of those 50’s style diners she always saw in old movies. Or new ones trying to seem retro and cool. There was even a jukebox in the corner. Most of the lights were off which was odd, but somehow added to the ambiance of the moment. 

She walked over to the jukebox and scanned the list of songs to play. She settled on a few of her favorite classic rock songs and some cheesy 80’s ballads. When she was sufficiently satisfied with her choices, she returned to her seat. Yeah, she could definitely get used to this place. And the company , she thought as she gazed around looking for Lucy.

“Fleetwood Mac! Nice song choice!” Lucy called from somewhere in the back and Kate smiled with pride.

A few minutes later, Lucy walked out of a back room that Kate assumed was the kitchen.

“It will still be a few minutes. Mind if I sit down and join you for a bit?” Lucy asked.

Kate nodded, then shook her head. Then frowned. “I mean, I don't mind.”

Lucy chuckled at Kate’s awkwardness but blessedly didn’t comment on it.

“I need to ask you about the name you chose for this place.” Kate spoke as Lucy sat down.

Lucy dazzled her with a smile. “It’s the only diner that actually matters. It’s the only one you need to know.”

Kate rolled her eyes at her charming cockiness. “Right. I think I’ll be the judge of that.”

Lucy leaned against the back of the booth. “I didn’t know what to name it and I wanted there to be no expectations or assumptions. I wanted my food to speak for itself.”

Kate nodded. She liked Lucy’s reasoning. It spoke volumes about the kind of confidence she had in her skill and Kate respected her for it. It made her excited to see what she had to offer. Food-wise, at the very least.

“So what made you decide to get into trucking? Family business?” Lucy asked suddenly.

Kate swallowed thickly and tried to debate on what she was willing to share.

“Sort of? Not really? It’s…complicated.”

Lucy nodded. “Enough said.”

Kate was grateful for the easy way in which Lucy let her drop it.

“How about you? Do you always get stuck working the late night shift?” Kate asked to change the subject.

Lucy studied her carefully and seemed to be considering her own answer. “It’s my place. I own it. So I don’t mind working the tough shifts. I know I could give them to someone else…but, I don’t know, I sort of like interacting with customers from time to time and reminding myself why I started to do this in the first place.”

Kate thought she understood. She heard the pride and happiness in Lucy’s voice. 

“You’re really good at it. The customer service side of things. A lot of people couldn’t do it. Myself included.”

Lucy smiled at her and stood up. “I think you’re selling yourself short, Whistler. You’re better with people than you know.”

Kate watched her walk away. Maybe she wasn’t completely blowing it. Or maybe Lucy just really was great at her job. But Kate felt a bit more confident with the interaction now. 

Lucy came back with two plates full of food.

“Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage. And some fresh, mixed fruit. Figured there’s enough here for you to find something to your liking.” Lucy told her as she set the plates down in front of her.

It all smelled so good, but one thing stood out above all others. “I don’t like pineapple.”

She wished she could take it back as soon as she said it because Lucy looked morally offended by the declaration.

“I’m sorry. That was rude. You asked if I had any food preferences and I told you I didn’t.” Kate replied, mortified. 

Lucy walked away for a brief moment and came back with a small empty plate and a fork. Kate handed her the plate of fruit and watched as Lucy dutifully took out every piece of pineapple.

“I really am sorry.” Kate said again.

Lucy pushed the now pineapple-free plate back toward Kate and sat down across from her. “Hope you don’t mind that I eat it then, I’d hate for such a perfect food to go to waste.” 

Kate stared at her. “You’re…mocking me.”

“I’m not. I’m just commenting on your lack of taste.”

“That’s…” Kate found herself smirking a bit as she shook her head and focused on her own food. “I deserve that.”

“Yes, you do.”

Kate found that she enjoyed the company thoroughly and searched her mind for safe topics to discuss. 

“So, are there any foods you refuse to eat?” She asked finally, after polishing off her pancakes in silence. “This is amazing by the way. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lucy answered as she jabbed the last piece of pineapple violently with her fork.

“Easy there. What did that pineapple ever do to you?” Kate attempted to tease back.

Lucy looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Other than to offend you with its mere presence?”

Kate’s mouth dropped open. “You’re a spitfire, aren’t you? Scrappy, I like it.” 

“You don’t know the half of it.” Lucy replied playfully.

Oh, but did she want to. She wanted to know all of it. Any of it.

“Do you work every night?” Kate wondered just before taking a bite of the bacon. Then she moaned in response. It was so good.

Lucy stared at her with a smirk and raised eyebrow. “Need me to leave you two alone?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “It’s entirely your fault. You’re the one who gave it to me.”

Kate couldn’t be positive but she thought maybe Lucy’s eyes darted down to her lips before quickly away again. She really hoped it wasn’t just wishful thinking. Or that it wasn’t only wishful thinking. Kate was used to women making the first move. She sort of found herself hoping Lucy actually would. That admission itself was new to her, but she chose not to dwell on it.

“To answer your question, no, not every night. Why? You plan on coming back?” Lucy asked as she leaned forward a bit and caught Kate’s eye again. “Where are you from anyway, Whistler? Because you certainly aren’t from around here.”

Kate tried to maintain eye contact as she answered. She needed Lucy to realize she was very interested in this conversation. In her. Even if Lucy was just being polite and curious.

“I’m from Chicago. Or that’s where I live now.”

“Midwest. Of course.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lucy smirked at her and stood up. “Anything you want it to, Whistler.”

“My name’s Kate.”

Kate swore Lucy checked her out as she answered, “I think I prefer, Whistler. For now.”

Kate ate the remainder of her meal in stunned silence as she continued to replay the conversation in her head. She stole glances as she watched Lucy sweep the floors, wash off the tables. Kate smiled to herself as she noticed that Lucy seemed to be dancing along to the music as she did so. The jukebox was still playing Kate’s choices, so she made a note to remember which ones Lucy seemed to be particularly interested in.

Before long, Lucy returned with a bill and sat down next to Kate again. “So, do you plan to come through this way again?”

Kate nodded. “On my way back home, yes. I have a few stops to make here and then have to continue out west a little ways.”

“Won’t it be out of your way on the way back?”

Kate shook her head. “I drop off and pick up different loads. I’ll pick up a load in Albuquerque that I have to drop off near Dallas. It isn’t worth my time or effort to be driving without a full load. So I try to keep my truck filled and keep myself busy but efficient.”

Lucy nodded at the explanation. “Well then, see you when I see you.”

“Thursday. I’ll be back through on Thursday. Same time.”

Lucy looked at her for a long, silent moment and then nodded. “Do you want me to surprise you again? Or did I lose your trust with the pineapple?”

Kate smirked at her. “I’ll forgive you this once. Don’t let me down again.”

Kate paid for her food, exchanged goodbyes with Lucy and then headed out the door. She felt satiated in more ways than one. It had been a long time since she enjoyed someone else’s company. She always struggled making connections with people; due, in part, to her autism. She had gotten better at not always taking things so literally; but sarcasm was often hard for her to catch. At least when meeting new people. And she rarely knew the difference between someone playfully teasing her or maliciously laughing at her. It made everyday interactions a bit more bearable when she masked some of her more “off-putting” tendencies, but it was so exhausting. So most of the time, she preferred to be alone. It suited her. When she was alone, she wasn’t different. When she was alone, she was just her. Just Kate. 

And since she almost never sought out companionship these days, it had been even longer since she had flirted with a beautiful woman somewhat successfully. She had been successful, right? Lucy had asked if she’d come back. So she had to have enjoyed Kate’s company at least a little. Right?

KCKCKCKCKC

Lucy was a ball of anxious energy by the time Thursday afternoon rolled around. She was supposed to be having her weekly Bubble Tea catch up with her best friend, Ernie, but her mind was on a tall, beautiful blonde instead.

“Earth to Lucy!” Ernie interrupted her thoughts with a shout as he waved his hand in front of her face. “I know you’ve tried assuring me three times already that you’re fine, but for some reason I don’t believe you. What’s up?”

Lucy debated sharing her thoughts with Ernie. Usually, he was the first person she told about anything remotely romantic or personal. For some reason, she sort of wanted to keep Kate Whistler to herself though. But keeping her to herself hadn’t served her well so far, since she had been on edge all day. So maybe Ernie was right and she needed to talk about it. About her.

“So…there’s this woman.” Lucy began carefully.

Ernie’s eyes widened and his attention grew more intense. “And…?”

Lucy sighed. “She’s not from around here. She’s a trucker who was just passing through, but…there’s something about her. And she’s driving back through tonight…”

Ernie raised both of his eyebrows. “Okay. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I don’t know!” Lucy raised her voice and rubbed her temples. 

They had been walking around a park near the diner. Lucy found a bench to sit on so she could properly gather her thoughts. Ernie sat beside her and sipped on his tea.

“I think we shared a moment…or two. But it’s hard to tell because she also just seems really…lonely. She was probably driving all day and couldn’t wait to actually talk to someone in person, you know?”

She glanced at Ernie who looked at her doubtfully.

“Lucy, you’re usually great at reading people. It’s what makes you so successful with what you do. Do you really think that’s all it was?”

Lucy shrugged. “I really don’t know. There were times when I could have sworn she was flirting with me. But it also seemed like when I even attempted to flirt with her it either went over her head or maybe she politely ignored it so things didn’t get awkward. Or more awkward. She was kind of fidgety.” She exhaled loudly and shook her head. “I think I’m reading too much into things. Maybe I’m the lonely one. It’s been a while since Skylar.”

They sat in silence for a while. Ernie finished his drink, Lucy mostly forgot about her own.

“Hey, you’ll see her again tonight. Just lay on the Lucy Tara Texas Charm. No one can resist that.”

“Unless she’s straight and I’m delusional to think otherwise.”

She startled when he rested his hand on her shoulder. “I can play your wingman if you want. Or be a silent observer.”

She smiled at him. He was a fantastic friend. “Thanks, but…it’ll be a bit late for you and you’ve got your big interview in the morning.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Late? As long as I leave by 11, I should be fine. Just a quick pop in. Maybe pretend to pick up some takeout.”

She felt herself flush and was grateful that Ernie probably wouldn’t notice. She avoided eye contact as she mumbled, “Yeah, that won’t work.”

“Why not? It’s really no trouble. Plus, I kind of want to see this woman who has you so out of sorts. She must really be something.”

She is. Lucy thought to herself.

She forced herself to look Ernie in the eye and took a big, deep breath before slowly exhaling to steady her resolve. 

“She won’t be in till after midnight.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What? How? Okay, you have to tell me everything.”

“I had one of those annoying customers who comes in ten minutes before closing and then orders the most complicated thing on the menu. Then he took his time eating as he scrolled endlessly on his phone. I was so relieved when he finally left that I almost wasn’t too pissed that the asshole didn’t even leave a tip. Anyway, he walked out and I followed behind to lock the door after him when this tall, blonde, gorgeous woman came stumbling in and almost ran right into me. I was about to tell her that we were closed, but she looked so lost and so relieved to find a place that was still open. I didn’t have the heart to turn her away.”

Ernie nodded thoughtfully. “Of course you didn’t.”

“So I made her breakfast for dinner. We talked. It was nice. She was…nice.”

“Nice. You’re getting this worked up over some woman who’s just…nice.” He smirked at her and she slapped him playfully.

“No teasing. I’m serious. I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe first of all, you should let her know that she’ll have to start coming during actual business hours if she wants to make stopping by a habit.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “I doubt it’ll be a habit. I’m not even sure if she’ll actually come tonight or if she just said so to be polite or like…spur of the moment or something.”

“I guess if she comes at least you have one of your answers.”

She stared at him. “Which one?” She shook her head. “Nevermind, I think she’ll come because she seems like the kind of person who keeps her promises and doesn’t give one lightly to begin with.”

“Then the next thing is to see if she respects boundaries and can be punctual.”

She rolled her eyes. “If she offers to stop by again…” She trailed off and pouted. “I can’t just suddenly say I close at 11:30 when she knows she got there well after midnight a few days ago. I don’t want to embarrass her.”

“You don’t think she’ll be more embarrassed a few months down the line when she inevitably finds out?”

“By then I hope I’ll know better where we stand.”

Ernie looked at her in reproach. “Starting a relationship off on a lie is never a good move, Lucy.”

“It’s not a lie!” She bit her lip. “And it’s not a relationship. I’m keeping the diner open for her...so it isn’t a lie to let her assume she’s not imposing on me.”

Ernie remained silent, for which Lucy was grateful.

“Man, you’ve already got it bad.”

Lucy bumped her shoulder into his and let her head fall on his shoulder. She didn’t even try to deny it. She knew it was useless anyway.

The rest of the day went by so slowly that Lucy could hardly take it. As soon as 11:30 rolled around she rushed to lock the door and turn over the sign to say “Closed.” Then she went back into the kitchen and started to prepare her surprise meal for Whistler. Tonight’s special would be chicken quesadillas, homestyle nachos with all the fixings, and some chicken tortilla soup. She hoped her guest would arrive hungry. 

She kept her eye on the clock and as it neared midnight, she kept watching out for a familiar red semi truck to rumble down the road. When she caught sight of it, she quickly switched the sign and unlocked the door. She knew Ernie would be disappointed in her. And part of her was embarrassed at the subterfuge. But all logic was lost on a pretty girl; it was like a universal truth or something.

She smiled ruefully to herself as she walked back into the kitchen and checked on her food. The telltale sign of the bell jiggling as the door opened came several minutes later.

“I’ll be right out!” Lucy stuck her head out and smiled at the blonde.

“No hurry.” 

Lucy heard the jukebox start up a few minutes later. She let Whistler’s music choices wash over her as she continued preparing the meal. She found herself humming along to the song. This time it was Elton John. Whistler preferred the older stuff. Lucy could definitely appreciate that.

When her meal was nearly finished, she turned the stove off to let the soup simmer and placed the quesadillas on the heater to stay warm. She brought out the nachos and two glasses of water. 

Kate smiled at her shyly when she walked over. “It smells delicious back there.”

Lucy noticed she was far more put together tonight. Clean. Somewhat less anxious. Tonight, she wore a red flannel shirt with its sleeves rolled up to her elbows, which Lucy appreciated. Although she also loved the dirty white tank top she wore last time that had perfectly showed off Kate’s arms. 

“I’m glad you think so.” Lucy set the plate of nachos on the table. Then the glasses of water. “Did you want tea tonight as well?”

Whistler shook her head. “Nope. I’m well rested. I swear I’m not always as…unorganized and ill-prepared as I was last time.”

Lucy smiled at her. “Good to know.”

Whistler popped a loaded tortilla chip in her mouth and closed her eyes as she moaned. Lucy swallowed thickly and averted her gaze.

“Well…I’m going to go back and check on the rest of the stuff.” 

Whistler nodded her acceptance as she continued to eat the nachos. 

Lucy exhaled shakily as she made her way back to the kitchen. Kate Whistler would be the death of her.

She ladled some soup into a bowl and grabbed the plate of quesadillas. Whistler’s face morphed into shock when Lucy set the food on the table.

“Lucy, there is no possible way I can eat all of this. I think it’s too much food for both of us.”

Lucy smiled at her and batted her eyelashes. “I am from Texas.”

Whistler chuckled at that. “Why do I have the feeling that you intend to use that excuse for everything?”

Lucy shrugged. “It does work for a lot of situations.”

Whistler shook her head and gestured at the seat opposite of her. “Well, aren’t you going to join me? No need to let all this food go to waste.”

Lucy excused herself to get her own bowl of soup and grabbed an empty plate. This time, when she returned, Whistler stole the plate from her hand and filled it with some nachos and half of the quesadillas. 

“Thank you.” Lucy said as the full plate was slid over to her.

“Right, like I actually did anything. You’re the one who made all of this. It’s delicious by the way.”

Lucy beamed proudly. They ate together in silence for a little while. Lucy let it all settle around her. If she squinted she could almost count this as a date. The low lighting. The music playing in the background. The shared meal between them. Even if it wasn’t a date, it was the perfect way to wrap up her day. As soon as Whistler’s truck pulled into the parking lot, all of Lucy’s nervousness from earlier in the day had washed away. She felt moored. 

“So…I can’t be the only one who knows what an absolute gem this place is.” 

Lucy looked at the blonde and frowned in confusion. Whistler gestured around the empty diner. 

Lucy ducked her head bashfully. Yeah, this could be the moment she came clean. 

“I do pretty well for myself, don’t you worry. And if you would have come tomorrow instead, it’s quite the different atmosphere. I host a trivia night with my friends here on Fridays. It gets a bit…wild. There’s dancing, too. If we’ve all had enough to drink.”

The gorgeous blonde smiled at her sincerely. “Sounds like a good time.”

“It is. I kill it at trivia and am…very competitive. Ernie is my only real competition.”

Whistler averted her gaze and took a sip of her water, then she cleared her throat. “And Ernie is…?”

“My best friend. He was one of my first customers. He pointed out the flaws in my exterior camera placement and offered to update the entire system as well as upgrade my registers. I’d only been in business for three days! We naturally became friends after that.” Lucy explained fondly. 

Whistler nodded and reached down to grab a quesadilla. Lucy noticed the small smile on her face and was encouraged by what it could mean.

“How about you? Do you have any weekly traditions with friends or…or someone waiting on you back in Chicago?”

Whistler shook her head. “Neither. I…don’t actually get out much. I work a lot.”

Lucy filed that in the ‘ she’s just lonely’ category. 

“So then, tell me something random and unexpected about Kate Whistler.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Do you plan to always use my full name?”

“No. I refer to you by just your last name in my head.”

Whistler’s face was unreadable at that comment.

“Not that I think about you a lot. That would be weird. Just you know…”

Whistler nodded. “I know.” She took a spoonful of soup, probably to buy time to think of an answer. “You have me at a disadvantage, you know.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know your last name.”

“Why? Do you plan on googling me later?”

“Like you haven’t already done the same to me.” Whistler countered.

“I didn’t! I planned on waiting until at least our third conversation.”

“How patient of you.”

“Patience is a virtue.” Lucy teased back.

Whistler rolled her eyes. “Are you not going to tell me?”

“You haven’t answered my question yet! Tell me something about you. Something you do for fun.”

“I surf.”

Lucy’s mouth dropped open and she couldn’t stop her eyes from scanning Whistler’s body. That was definitely something she’d like to see. Then she frowned. “But you live in Chicago. That isn’t a place known for its waves.”

Whistler chuckled. “My brother, Noah, is in the Army. He was stationed in Hawaii for a couple of years. I learned to surf there when I visited him and fell in love with it.”

Lucy nodded. She got more information than she bargained for with that answer, but chose not to push further even if she wanted to know more.

“And now?” She asked instead.

“Actually, Lake Michigan is okay for surfing from time to time. Not at all the same as Hawaii or surfing in the ocean. But you have to make due, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess you do.”

“So…your turn.”

Lucy was confused momentarily and then realized what Whistler had meant. “Tara. My name is Lucy Tara. I don’t surf. I’m a bit terrified by the vastness of the ocean actually. And sharks. And all the things deep below the surface that scientists haven’t even discovered yet.”

“All water or just the ocean?”

“I can’t really swim.”

Whistler looked at her for a long moment, then responded quietly. “I could teach you. Somehow. Someday. I mean, it’s the least I could do to repay you for all this amazing food.”

“But you do pay me for it. I don’t expect any of my other customers to do more than that.” Lucy watched the blonde’s face fall and realized it was the wrong thing to say. “But…if we were…friends…then as a friend, I wouldn’t mind taking you up on the offer. Somehow. Someday.”

The small smile and blush that returned to Whistler’s face made Lucy know she had said the right thing. And if all Kate Whistler needed was a friend, Lucy vowed that she’d be the very best one.

Lucy only noticed then that the diner was silent. The jukebox music had stopped. Their plates were empty. She wasn’t aware of the time that had passed. The conversation was fun. The silences were comfortable.

Whistler must have noticed the time as well, because she awkwardly rushed to help pick up the dishes. 

“I kept you late, didn’t I? What time do you close?” Whistler asked as she stood up and grabbed the plates Lucy had gathered. “Please let me help you wash these.”

“You don’t have to. It’s part of the job.”

“But it’s what friends do.”

Lucy couldn’t be sure, but she thought Kate seemed to put an odd emphasis on the word friend. 

“Kate, it’s fine. I promise.”

The blonde’s movements stilled and she met Lucy’s gaze. “You called me Kate.”

“You told me I could. And since we’re friends now…” Lucy trailed off and licked her suddenly dry lips. “Is that not okay?”

Kate smiled at her. “It’s okay. I’m just so used to everyone but Noah calling me Whistler. I’ll only ever be Katie to him.”

“That’s cute.”

Kate made a face that told Lucy she wasn’t sure she appreciated the comment.

“And that can’t be right. Please don’t tell me your parents call you Whistler as well.”

Kate grew silent and her eyes glazed over. 

“I’m sorry I brought them up. I…” She reached for the dishes and this time Kate let her take them. “I’ve got these. You go get some rest. I’m sure you have a long day tomorrow.”

“They died. When I was in high school.” Kate told her quietly. 

“Oh, Kate.” Lucy quickly set the dishes on the counter and wrapped Kate in her arms. 

The blonde was stiff. Awkward. And Lucy wondered if she had done the right thing or if she overstepped another invisible line. As she attempted to step away and apologize again, Kate drew her in closer and held her tightly. The angle was awkward. The hug itself seemed strained. Like Kate wasn’t used to even this type of intimacy. That thought made Lucy tighten her own grip as well.

“Thank you.” Kate whispered in her ear. “For dinner. For your friendship. For…this.”

“You’re welcome. Always.”

Lucy stepped away first and busied herself with gathering the dishes again. “Will I see you again Kate Whistler?”

She used her full name to distance herself. To remind herself that Whistler was probably just lonely and needed a friend. And that she would love to be that friend if she were given the chance. No more attempting to flirt. No more wondering where Whistler stood. No more invisible lines this time. The line was clear now and she didn’t intend to cross it.

“You’re back to using my full name again already?” Whistler asked with more than mere curiosity. There was a bit of playfulness and Lucy was positive that there was something resembling hurt in her voice as well.

“Sorry. Habit, I guess.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Habit? After two days you’ve already formed a habit?”

Lucy didn’t take the bait. She wouldn’t flirt with her. She liked their banter, but she needed to be careful. She could see herself falling for this girl. The one thing that she promised herself she wouldn’t do. Not now. Not ever. Not when she knew how much she needed a friend.

“What can I say, I’m a fast learner.”

Kate’s smirk deepened. 

Well shit. Abort! 

“I’m going to go…” Lucy gestured with her hands full of dirty dishes. “As soon as you answer my last question.”

She had trouble keeping Kate Whistler in the proper box. She struggled with distancing herself when all she wanted to do was know her.

“What was the question again?”

“Are you going to come around again?”

She nodded. “Next week. Probably Tuesday night again.”

Lucy smiled at her. “I’ll be here.”

She didn’t wait for Kate to say goodbye or watch her leave, instead she went back to the kitchen and turned on the faucet. She planned to take the time to wash the dishes by hand and gather her bearings. But the plan was damned when Kate tentatively followed her into the kitchen.

“I offered to help.” She rolled up her sleeves. “It’s the least I can do.”

Lucy didn’t argue. She nodded her acceptance and moved over to make room for her. They worked together in silence until all the dishes were clean.

“I don’t mind talking about them. I just don’t do it often. I like to keep my personal life private.” She sighed. “It’s not just that. I guess…I’ve closed myself off...I don’t let many people in. It’s not like I set out to keep people at arm’s length, it just…happened. And before I knew it, I was mostly alone. Not always lonely…because I had Noah. But…anyway, I don’t know why it’s different with you. I honestly don’t understand it. You make it easy. To talk to. It’s part of your job, I’m sure, being good with people. And you’re good at it. I like talking to you.”

Lucy was grateful that Kate seemed to want to open up to her. She liked that she put her at ease. She was proud of herself for drawing a line between them. Kate needed this. She needed someone to talk to and Lucy was happy to be that person for her.

“What happened?” She wondered. “If that’s an okay thing to ask.”

“It’s been long enough now that I can talk about it. Like I said, I don’t mind.” Kate started to dry the clean dishes and handed them to Lucy to put away.

They worked well together as a team. Lucy remained silent and gave Kate the time to formulate the right words.

“It was a car accident. Icy roads. It happened in the winter of my junior year.”

Kate didn’t offer more than that and Lucy didn’t press her further.

“What about you? Are you close with your family?” Kate asked after a few minutes.

Their work was finished. They stood facing each other. 

“In case you plan to google me later, you should know that my parents are very wealthy.” Lucy admitted reluctantly.

Kate’s eyes widened. “How wealthy are we talking? Jeff Bezos? Bill Gates?”

Lucy smiled and shook her head. “God, would they have been even more insufferable if that were the case.”

Kate smiled at her in response. “I have to admit, had I known earlier, you would have intimidated me more than you already do.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “I intimidate you? How? You’re twice my size.”

Kate laughed out loud at that, but didn’t answer.

“And besides, you said that I put you at ease.” Lucy pointed out.

“I said no such thing. I said you made it easy for me to open up to. That’s a totally different thing.”

Lucy didn’t see how. 

“You shouldn’t be intimidated. They’re wealthy. Not me.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Like that’s the only reason I was intimidated.”

Lucy shook her head and sighed. “Anyway, they expected us all to follow in the family business. Oil. I hated being in boardrooms and dealing with corporate lawyers and worrying about shareholders. So I…well, after college I refused to go to work there. They didn’t take it the best but they…they said they wanted me to be happy. I think they expected me to fail. To come crawling back.”

“Did they disinherit you?”

“Doesn’t matter now.” Lucy shrugged. “I wanted the freedom to succeed or fail on my own. If I ever accepted any of their money, I would feel obligated to do what they wanted me to do with it. They’d see to that.”

“What would they want you to do with it? Invest? Buy twitter?”

Lucy laughed. “Something like that.”

“So how’d you get the money to open up this place?”

Lucy smirked. “Poker.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No, seriously. I’m really good.”

Kate’s eyebrows shot up. “You…you literally have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen. You’re so expressive all the time.” She paused and knitted her eyebrows together in concentration. “You read people well, don’t you? That’s your secret. You read them better than they can read you.”

“I’ve never played a game in person. It was all online. That’s my secret.”

“Huh. That’s…I actually don’t have words.” 

Lucy walked out of the kitchen and Kate followed behind her. 

“How much are we talking?  How much did you win?” Kate asked.

“Goodnight, Kate.” Lucy led her to the front door.

“Are you close to them now? Your parents? Since you’ve proven yourself with this place.” Kate wondered as she stood at the door that Lucy held open for her.

“We are. Or we’re getting there. They really just wanted what’s best for me. It’s just that we had different visions of what that was.”

Kate nodded. “I’ll see you next week, Lucy Tara.”

Lucy shook her head with a smirk. Kate could use Lucy’s full name but called Lucy out on using hers. Double standard much? 

“Bye, Kate.”

KCKCKCKCKC

“When the rain blows through the wind.” Lucy sang quietly along to the song playing from the jukebox when Kate walked in.

They’ve been doing this for weeks now—having their bi-weekly visits. But every Tuesday, after a long weekend without seeing Lucy, Kate always took the extra moment to just appreciate her. And how at peace she felt in her presence.

“Those aren’t the words.” Kate commented with an affectionate smile that only grew wider when Lucy spun around and nearly tripped over the broom she was sweeping with.

“What do you mean? Of course they are. I’m sure I’d know the words to my favorite song.”

Kate shook her head. “I hate to break it to you.” She pulled out her phone and typed in a few words in the search bar. Then she turned her phone over for Lucy to peruse. 

She admired the other woman while she read and watched as her face morphed from frustration to embarrassment. 

“I can’t believe no one ever told me! I sing along to this song all the time.” Lucy said as she tried to cover her face with her hands.

“If it’s any consolation, you have a beautiful voice.”

“Barely.” Lucy said. But the smile that spread over her lips betrayed her words.

Kate reached out to take her phone back, but Lucy pulled it away. Kate frowned at her and furrowed her eyes in confusion.

“Don’t you want my number?” Lucy asked as she typed a few things into Kate’s phone. “I mean, we’re friends now. Right, Kate?”

Kate swallowed audibly and forced herself not to do some version of her very embarrassing victory dance at securing Lucy’s number without having to ask for it. Not that she would actually ever be brave enough to use it. But that wasn’t the point.

“Right.” She confirmed.

She almost dropped the phone when Lucy handed it back to her and her fingers brushed against Kate’s palm.

“Careful.” Lucy said reflexively.

Kate quickly secured the phone in her pocket. “So what’s for dinner?”

“Seriously? First you come in here and insult me about my singing.”

“I corrected you.”

“Now you bypass an actual greeting and just ask me to feed you?” Lucy stomped her foot and pouted adorably.

Kate couldn’t help smiling which only made Lucy huff at her. Kate laughed at her expressiveness. She was truly delightful.

“I assumed that we were the kind of friends who hugged in greeting.” Lucy told her and then added exaggeratedly. “It’s good to see you, Kate Whistler. What brings you around this evening?”

Kate rolled her eyes at Lucy’s antics but allowed herself to be hugged anyway. She reveled in it. She even returned the embrace. This was the kind of greeting she could get used to. From Lucy. Only Lucy.

When Lucy finally stepped away, Kate instantly felt cold. And a little unsettled. Lost even.

“Tonight I cheated and made us a pizza.”

“How is that cheating?”

Lucy shrugged. “It’s what I was hungry for.”

Kate smiled and sat in what she had come to think of as their booth. Lucy brought a large pizza out a few minutes later and set it on the table before sliding into the booth across from Kate. Kate wasn’t much of a pizza person, but Lucy’s large, excited eyes at the prospect of digging into it made her watch her with fondness.

“Mmmm.” Lucy practically danced in her seat as she ate happily. “So good.” She smiled brightly at Kate. “If I do say so myself.”

Kate dutifully ate two slices. And she had to admit it was one of the better tasting pizzas she’d ever had.

“Lucy? Can I ask you something?” Kate questioned shyly as Lucy reached for her third slice of pizza.

Lucy’s hand stilled when Kate spoke and she looked at her sadly. “You want my father’s contact information to see if he’s open to switching to you to deliver his shipments.”

Kate’s eyes widened and she frowned. “What? No. Why would you assume that?”

Lucy shrugged and fidgeted in her seat a little as she spoke. “You know my family’s rich.” She said it as if that were a complete answer. When Kate continued to stare at her with confusion, Lucy sighed and continued, “My last two relationships used me to get to my dad. I’m sort of used to it.”

“Ew. That’s gross. And it’s also a stark reminder of why I don’t do relationships.”

Lucy’s face softened. “Why? Because people use you for your money, too?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Obviously. No, people are shit. Usually.”

Lucy nodded but seemed to have lost her appetite. “So if it’s not that, what did you want to ask?”

Kate blushed. “Well, now it’s just going to sound stupid.”

“I promise you that whatever you ask will be better than what I expected it to be.”

“I’ve actually been craving dessert. I have a sweet tooth and I’ve been dying to see your dessert menu. Please tell me you have pie.”

Lucy’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t be serious.”

“Deadly.”

Lucy’s whole demeanor changed back to the bubbly ball of excitement Kate had gotten used to seeing from her. When Lucy excused herself to get what Kate hoped was an entire array of sweets, she allowed her mind to wander. How could a person use someone like that? Especially someone like Lucy. She was generous and kind. She’d probably even have helped Kate contact her father if she asked, despite admitting she was resentful of the family business—not that the thought had ever crossed Kate’s mind. She couldn’t imagine intentionally hurting Lucy in that way. Lucy seemed like the kind of person who would bend over backwards to help a stranger. So wouldn’t she do a thousand times more for someone she loved? And yet, those assholes still used her. Kate was half a second away from demanding their names and addresses. 

Lucy returned with a plate heaped with amazing smelling desserts of all kinds. She also carried a box. Kate didn’t ask about the box as she grabbed a delicious looking chocolate chip cookie nearly the size of her head.

“You absolutely delivered above and beyond. You will be getting double the tip tonight.”

Kate turned her attention away from the plate of goodies and back toward Lucy when the brunette sat down again. “So, tell me something about you. What were you like in high school? I wonder if we would have been friends. I was the book worm. I didn’t make Valedictorian because…well, junior and senior years were rough without my parents. But I was definitely the nerd in school.” Kate ventured as casually as she could. 

Lucy touched her hand and Kate stilled as to not scare her into retreating. She focused on how soft her hands were. How warm. She didn’t typically enjoy being touched, but she had found that that was just one more thing that made Lucy different from everyone else. She craved her touch. Her closeness. Her attention. Even if she didn’t fully understand why.

“I think we could have been friends. I had a soft spot for nerds.” Lucy told her sincerely. Then she had the audacity to wink at her and Kate felt her whole body shudder. She hoped Lucy didn’t notice how clammy her hands had suddenly gotten. She tried to distract herself with another bite of the glorious cookie.

“I was a cheerleader, by the way. A flier. Team captain.” Lucy added as she removed her hand from Kate’s.

Kate stared at her as her mind wandered to Lucy in a skimpy cheerleading uniform. Kate went to all of Noah’s football games for one reason and one reason alone. Cheerleaders. It was how she realized she was a lesbian when she was fourteen.

And to make Kate’s internal gay panic far worse, Lucy actually stood up and started to cheer. Kate didn’t know what was chanted, but she was overly aware of Lucy’s flexibility. And the way she had absolute and total control over her own body. Also, did she always wear such tight pants that left little detail to the imagination? Boy, did Kate have an imagination though.

“What do you think? I’ve still got it, don’t I?”

Kate nodded. “I was shit at sports. I grew too tall too fast and couldn’t properly control my limbs. I was a walking disaster.”’

The fact that she was still a total gay disaster wasn’t entirely lost on her.

Lucy pouted and patted her on the top of the head patronizingly. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“It was worse.”

Lucy bumped her hip into Kate and Kate automatically moved over to make room beside her. She liked the way their bodies pressed together as they sat on the same side of the booth.

“So no sports in high school. And you were a self-proclaimed nerd. Did you have an epic high school romance?”

Kate blushed. “No. Despite coming out at age fourteen, I wasn’t interested in any of the girls in my school.”

“Oh?” Kate noticed that Lucy’s voice was an octave higher as she spoke. “So you’re…”

“A lesbian. Yes.” Kate met Lucy’s eyes. “And you?”

“Oh, I dated a lot in high school. Fell in love with someone new every week.” Lucy told her with a smirk.

“No, I meant…”

Lucy laughed and rolled her eyes. “I knew what you meant. I’m also a lesbian. Very much so.”

Lucy reached across the table for a pastry and Kate’s eyes lingered on the way her shirt rose up in the back and exposed some flawless skin there. She shoved the rest of her cookie in her mouth and chewed slowly —willing herself not to choke.

Unless…would Lucy give her mouth to mouth if she did?

Lucy stood up and walked away. Kate watched her as she boxed the remainder of the pizza and placed the smaller box she brought out earlier on top of it before she slid both boxes toward Kate. Kate sneaked a peek inside the small box and her eyes lit up with delight. Cherry pie.

“Pie for the pretty girl. On the house.”

“Right. As if you aren’t the most beautiful woman in the room.” Kate told her with astonishment.

Lucy looked around the empty diner and raised her eyebrow at Kate.

“Not this room, obviously. I mean, not only this room.”

Lucy laughed. “I already gave you a free pie, Kate, flattery will get you nowhere.”

Kate flushed and reached for her wallet. She wasn’t one who typically accepted free stuff easily. She liked to feel like she got what she deserved. Like she earned it. 

“I can’t accept that, Lucy.” She handed her enough money to cover the entire meal and tip as usual.

Lucy stared at the money strangely. “You do know that to not accept a gift is an insult to the giver.” Then she sighed and sat down in the booth with a huff. “Sorry, I just channeled my father there. And sometimes he’d use gifts as a means of control. It seemed like a kind gesture, but he would expect something later. And he would always call and collect on it.”

“I never assumed you were giving me a free pie just to manipulate me later, Lucy. I just have an issue with accepting free things. I like to feel like I earned it on my own. That I deserve it. I don’t like having people just give me stuff…they did that with me and Noah a lot. They brought over free food, held a whole charity drive for us to pay for the funerals even though both of my parents had life insurance. Classmates tried to dump their hand-me-down clothes on us. It felt like pity and like it was all for show. Like it made them feel better, because it never made me feel better.”

Lucy nodded sadly. Not with pity, not the way Kate was used to having people look at her if she talked about her dead parents. 

“I guess we both have our own…stuff. For better or worse.”

“Yeah.” Kate met her eyes. “For what it’s worth, your father sounds like a dick. And I sort of want to maim the last few people you dated.”

Lucy laughed loudly. “Oh, I already sicced my friend, Jesse, on them. He’s like…if you mixed MacGyver with Rambo. He’s very protective of me.”

“As he should be.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I can take care of myself just fine.”

“I don’t doubt it for a second.”

Lucy studied her as if to find a lie there. But there was none.

“Well, I should get going. I’ll let you close up and go home.” Kate said reluctantly. She didn’t care if she’d probably be exhausted tomorrow, these visits were always worth it. 

Besides, she’d grab a few hours of sleep now and then sleep during rush hour like usual. She discovered early on that she’d rather be driving at night or in the early mornings when it was far less busy on the roads. A few days stuck in traffic were enough for her to adjust her entire sleep schedule. She found she was far more efficient now. And efficiency was important to her.

Lucy let out a long, shaky breath that turned into an adorable yawn that she tried to mask. Kate watched her fondly. Then her fondness turned to worry.

“Are you going to be safe driving home? I kept you too long tonight, I’m sorry.” She approached her and tried to clumsily rub her shoulder for comfort.

Lucy smiled at her. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I live nearby anyway. I’ll be home and in my bed in no time.”

Lucy must have realized that Kate was still a bit worried. She stepped closer to her and touched her shoulder gently before running her fingers down Kate’s bare arm. Lucy settled her hand over Kate’s and idly played with her fingers as she looked up at her with full determination and sincerity.

“I promise I’ll drive safe, Kate.” She tugged at her fingers and Kate nearly lost her balance. “Okay?”

Kate nodded, completely distracted as to what Lucy was reassuring her about now. She closed her eyes and had to bite her lip to hold back the moan. So many fantastic images flooded her mind. She definitely knew what her own plans would be when she got to bed tonight. Sleep be damned.

They awkwardly said their goodbyes. Kate watched Lucy get in her car and drive away. She even didn’t attempt to hide her disappointment as she disappeared out of sight. She sighed to herself and climbed in her truck ready to make the most of the rest of the night. 

KCKCKCKCKC

A lot of Lucy’s self control went out the window the moment she learned Kate was a lesbian. Sure, it was disappointing that Kate admitted that she didn’t do relationships. But Lucy had started to resign herself to the fact that if Kate ever suggested they do a sort of friends with benefits thing, she would not hesitate to take her up on the offer. She still very much planned to be the friend she assumed Kate needed. But if it happened that the kind of friend Kate actually needed was one of the sexual nature, then who was she to turn her back on a friend?

Lucy knew she was rationalizing. She knew she was playing with fire. She knew that things like that never ended well. But at least she knew what to expect this time around. She knew to keep her expectations low. She knew that different lines would have to be drawn in the sand. The kind that would protect her heart. 

Despite all the preparations and pep talks and firm lines she was ready to draw, Lucy found herself eagerly awaiting Kate’s arrival that evening just as they had discussed. It had only been two days, and she knew she was being ridiculous, but she found herself already missing the blonde’s company. In fact, she didn’t prepare any food ahead of time tonight because she hoped they could spend time cooking together. She wanted to proactively prolong their time together. Plus, the idea of sharing her kitchen with Kate-–sharing her passion with her—added extra excitement to their date. Not an actual date. Just because they spent time together over a meal, this was not a date. She had to keep reminding herself of that. 

“What? You’re not going to serenade me tonight with blasphemously incorrect song lyrics?” Kate’s teasing tone penetrated Lucy’s treatrous mind. 

She was too lost in her mind while cleaning off tables that she failed to hear Kate walk in this time.

She turned to face Kate and shook her head with feigned exasperation. “It was one time.”

Kate smiled in greeting. “Hey you.”

Lucy never failed to be affected by that smile. She had the strange sense that Kate didn’t always provide one so willingly, so she was beyond proud of herself for drawing them out so often.

“Hey. How was your delivery?”

Kate shrugged and attempted to walk toward her booth. 

“Actually, I didn’t prepare anything in advance. I thought we could cook together tonight. Anything you want.” Lucy said as she placed a hand on Kate’s wrist to stop her from going further.

When Kate looked at her hand, Lucy quickly pulled it away. “Sorry.”

Kate redirected her gaze so it fell on Lucy’s face. “It’s okay. So what were you saying? You’re basically giving me the keys to your castle?”

“Ha. Ha.” 

“Would it be totally lame if I suggested something like grilled cheese or spaghetti?”

“Watch your tongue. There is no cursing in my kitchen.”

Kate stared at her in utter confusion. She looked so lost that it was absolutely adorable. 

“But I didn’t curse.”

“Spaghetti isn’t lame, Kate. It’s basically its own food group.”

The confusion on Kate’s face slowly washed away and was replaced with a conspiratory grin. 

Lucy didn’t respond as she led the way to the kitchen, sure that Kate would follow her.

“I really don’t have a preference tonight. You properly supported my sugar craving last time. The cherry pie was perfect by the way. Not that it’s gone. Yet. I’ve been trying to savor it.” Kate told her as she leaned against the counter near the oven.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Of course I did. I even took a picture of it and sent it to Noah. Cherry’s his favorite. He is so pissed at me for bragging about it.”

Lucy laughed at that. “I could make him one. You’re able to send him food, right? How long does it take to send it express?”

“I…you’d do that?”

“I bake pies for a living, Kate. It’s not like I offered him a kidney.”

Kate was silent for a long time. Then she quietly said, “I would actually really appreciate it if you did that. Thank you.”

Lucy understood how hard it must have been for Kate to accept the gift that Lucy had just offered her. Lucy hadn’t thought twice about it. She liked to do things for people who were important to her. She liked to make them happy. She wasn’t like her dad. She wouldn’t allow herself to be. She would never do things that had expectations attached to them.

“Well, I guess we have at least one thing on our agenda tonight. What else would you like to make?” Lucy asked.

“What’s your favorite thing to eat?” Kate wondered. “If you say pizza I’ll walk out of here right now.”

“What’s wrong with pizza?”

“Nothing specific. There’s just not much good about it either.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “You hated the pizza. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have made you something else.”

“The pizza was fine. Besides, I got what I wanted.”

Lucy’s eyes darkened as she glanced at Kate’s lips and then quickly away. The unintentional innuendo seemed to go unnoticed by Kate, but Lucy’s mind was racing. Oh to give Kate everything she wanted.

“Do you really want to trust me to choose what we eat again?” Lucy questioned sincerely. 

Her ego took a bit of a bruising knowing that Kate wasn’t a fan of her pizza. 

“I trust you. Probably more than I should.” Kate admitted.

“Probably.” Lucy teased. “But I trust you, too.”

“Enough to give me your social security number and your mother’s maiden name?” Kate asked with a raised eyebrow.

Was this flirting? Or was this Kate’s awkward attempt at a joke? Either way, it made Lucy laugh with amusement.

“Sure. I’ll even throw in my birth date and my first pet’s name. It was a turtle I called squirtle.”

“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. Please let it be true.” Kate stared at her with wide eyes and a soft smile.

“I assure you it is. And I wish I could claim actual credit, but I stole the name from a Pokémon.”

Kate shook her head with amusement. “That somehow makes it cuter.”

“How about you? Did you have any pets?” Lucy asked as she gathered some items to make a saffron chicken and rice dish. She cut up some chicken as Kate answered.

“We had a dog. Buster. He was a Pitbull. The most affectionate dog you’d ever meet.” 

“Who named him? You or Noah?”

“Noah. We played Rock, Paper, Scissors. He won.”

“Let me guess, you chose scissors.”

“You can’t possibly have known that.”

“You never choose scissors. My brothers almost always chose rock, so I learned that the hard way. Now I always choose paper.”

Kate smirked at her. “If that’s the case, then I’d have beaten you.”

Lucy was annoyed by the way that Kate pointed out the flaw in her until now perfect strategy. So she did the only logical thing she could think of. She stuck her tongue out at her.

Kate stared at her. “What are you? Five?”

“Is that a reference to my height?”

“No. But it should have been.”

“Wow. Kate. Just…wow.” She leveled her with her best glare, before she faltered and smiled at her. “Will you start boiling some water? The pots are behind us.”

Kate found a pot and then filled it with water before she placed it on the stove and turned on the burner.

“Now, could you open that cabinet on your left? Yes, that one.” Lucy nodded when Kate opened the correct door. 

“Oh my god. How do you find anything in here?” Kate stated rhetorically as she proceeded to pull all of the spices out of the cabinet.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm going to alphabetize them for you.” Kate smiled at her with a cocky grin. “Organizing things is my jam.”

Lucy couldn’t possibly deny her that pleasure. She bit her lip at the adorableness of it and busied herself with the rest of the preparations. She leaned across Kate to grab the saffron first though.

She kept stealing glances at Kate as she worked and smiled to herself at the happy way Kate hummed while she mouthed the alphabet continuously to make sure she placed the spices in their proper order.

After Kate finished her self-imposed task, she towered over Lucy and looked at the items on the stove. “So, what are we having?”

“One of my favorite dishes.”

Lucy didn’t move as she cherished the way that Kate leaned into her as she inspected each of the items.

“It smells good.”

“It tastes even better.” Lucy breathed out shakily when she felt Kate’s warm exhale on her bare neck. “Could you just…” She shimmied around her to regain her bearings and catch her breath.

“Oh, sorry.” Kate said and only seemed to notice their proximity once Lucy had made space between them.

“It’s fine. I just need to grab a few more things while it’s all cooking.”

“What do you need? I’ll get them.” Kate offered.

“You can put away the extra tomato. I decided not to use it. And then grab us some plates and silverware. What would you like to drink tonight? Tea?”

“Do you have wine?”

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Are you sure? I thought you said you have an early morning.”

Kate shrugged. “I do. And I normally drive through the night which is why I haven’t had wine with you before. But I’m in the mood for it and have the time to sleep it off.”

“I have just the thing to pair with this. Why don’t you find us some glasses?”

When Kate returned moments later with two mason jars, Lucy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“I have wine glasses. Nice ones.”

“I know. I saw them.” Kate reached for the bottle of wine and opened it. “I prefer these.”

“Why?”

“Does there have to be a reason for everything?” Kate quipped back as she poured them each only a couple of swallows of wine.

“You organized my spice cabinet alphabetically. Now you’re lecturing me on focusing too much on logic and reason?”

“Just enjoy the small things, Luce. The randomness of life.”

Lucy hadn’t missed the nickname as it fell easily from Kate’s lips. She liked it. 

“Who are you and what have you done to Whistler?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Wine glasses always seemed too…pretentious. Mason jars have multiple uses. They are far more practical when you think about it.”

Lucy smirked. “So it is about logic and reason.”

“I stand by what I said though. Some of the best things in life are illogical.”

The way Kate looked at her and seemed to study her, it made Lucy think that maybe somewhere in there Kate had been talking about them. That Kate wasn’t as oblivious to what was happening between them as Lucy assumed she was. Because something was happening. Wasn’t it? It couldn’t all be in Lucy’s head.

She reached for her mason jar of wine and gulped it down in one go. 

“You realize it was wine, right? We aren’t doing shots.” Kate said with wide eyes.

Lucy simply reached out her hand and extended her empty jar to Kate for a refill. Kate added a bit more dutifully.

“If you have any more, I’m going to have to insist on being your DD. I’ll limit myself to this one drink, I promise.”

Kate’s concern for safety was as admirable as it was understandable. Lucy didn’t want her to worry and she wasn’t that much of a drinker anyway so she reminded herself to be more mindful when it came to stuff like this.

“I’ll save this for the meal. Go ahead and enjoy yourself. You’re the one who wanted some wine.”

Kate watched her carefully for a few moments. Wordlessly. Then she slowly sipped her own drink.

Lucy went back to the stove to check the food that was simmering. Then she scampered about the kitchen as she collected a new set of items to start on the pie. She worked in silence fully aware that Kate was watching her intensely as her deft and nimble fingers traversed the dough. Kate cleared her throat and Lucy smirked when she looked up at Kate only to find that she was looking at anything but Lucy. 

“It’s impressive how you can make two separate dishes and not burn either of them.” Kate commented; her voice wavered slightly.

Lucy smirked at her. “It’s literally my job, Kate. And I’m just as amazing at mine as you are at yours.” 

Kate looked at her, but said nothing. Lucy continued to work and Kate kept her distance. She put the pie in the oven and set a timer on her phone. Then she returned to examine the contents on the stove. She could feel Kate's eyes on her, but pretended not to notice as she finished cooking their dinner. When the food was done, Kate brought over the empty plates wordlessly; ready for Lucy to dish the food onto them.

“I think you may have outdone yourself, Lucy. This looks and smells fantastic.” Kate commented as she helped Lucy carry everything to their booth.

They sat down opposite each other and took their first bites simultaneously.

“Oh god…” Kate moaned loudly. “This is…this is…”

Lucy smiled at her with pride. Then she continued to eat her own food. 

“So, I was thinking. Next time, what if I picked up some food for us along the way and fed you for once.”

Lucy considered the offer. “You don’t have to do that. I really don’t mind.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “I know, it’s your job. But no one else is here. What will it hurt to close up a little early and enjoy some food that you didn’t have to cook yourself?”

Lucy felt a pang of guilt at the omission of truth. She wouldn’t be closing up early. She’d finally be closing almost on time, instead of keeping up pretenses so Kate thought the diner was actually still open.

“You shared a bit of your life with me tonight. With this dish and by letting me in your kitchen. So how about I show you my truck? Give you the tour.”

Lucy smiled at that. What would the tour consist of? It was a semi truck. 

“I’ll let you sit behind the wheel so you can feel the power.” Kate offered sincerely and Lucy couldn’t help laughing. 

“Does it have a name?” Lucy asked with amusement.

“She does. Betsy.”

Lucy grinned at her. “Betsy? That sounds too girly for such a big truck.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Betsy Braddock is a badass. Plus she’s British and she’s bisexual.”

Lucy stared at her in confusion. 

“X-men! Come on, really? She used to be Psylocke.” Kate looked offended. “‘Nothing?”

Lucy shook her head.

“Noah used to be obsessed with the comics and the old cartoons. When I went away for college, he sent me along with his favorite issues. I think he was trying to be supportive, since he would be leaving for basic training shortly after I left. It was his way of making sure I still felt close to him when he was gone. I sort of became obsessed with them after that. Read everything I could get my hands on. It worked too, we’d talk about the latest issues together. We’d watch the movies when he came home on leave. It’s just one more thing that bonded us and kept us close.”

“That’s sweet.” Lucy enjoyed moments like this when Kate shared freely with her.

“So…?” Kate prompted. “What do you say? I’ll feed you and give you a tour of Betsy next time.”

“Okay, deal.”

Kate beamed proudly. “And I get to surprise you with the menu.”

“That sounds perfect.”

They sat comfortably in silence for a few moments before the alarm on Lucy’s phone went off.

“Oh! The pie’s done.” She quickly got up and rushed to the kitchen to take it out of the oven. 

She placed it on a pie rack to cool. She jumped when she turned around to find Kate standing close behind her. 

“Sorry.” Kate flushed adorably and took a step back.

“It’s okay. I just didn’t realize you followed me.” She glanced at the pie. “It needs to cool for a bit. Why don’t you write down Noah’s address for me and I’ll send it out to him tomorrow?”

Kate frowned. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll get it to him.”

“Kate, you’ll be driving all day tomorrow and Saturday. The post office is closed on Sundays. I can send it out tomorrow and he can have it by Monday. Or close to it.”

Kate considered that and then relented with a nod. 

“I promise I won’t like…send him any nudes or anything.” Lucy smirked at her and laughed out loud when Kate’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Kate started coughing loudly and Lucy rubbed her back affectionately. 

“Why would you say that?” Kate stared at her mortified.

Lucy shrugged. “I thought it was funny. And your reaction was priceless.”

She grabbed a sheet of paper from her office while Kate stood in the doorway scanning the area.

“You want to give my office a makeover.” Lucy said matter-of-factly as she handed Kate the paper and a pen.

“Not so much a makeover as just tossing everything in a burn barrel and starting over.” Kate replied in a tone that made Lucy question whether she was joking.

“Blasphemy.”

Kate turned around to face the wall and jotted down her brother’s information. Then she handed the items back to Lucy and her eyes widened.

“Is that a shoe?”

Lucy followed her gaze. Sure enough, underneath her desk was the offending item.

“Oooh, thanks! I’ve been looking for that.” She folded the paper and put it in her pocket, placed the pen on her desk and bent down to grab the shoe.

When she turned around Kate quickly licked her lips as she averted her gaze and stood up straighter while she busied herself smoothing out her unwrinkled and perfect shirt. Lucy smirked at the realization that she just caught Kate checking her out. Not just checking her out, but absolutely staring at her ass. She would definitely be filing that information away for later.

She walked past Kate, who followed her, and closed her office door behind them.

“Wait. You really just lost one shoe? What have you been doing without it?” Kate asked as she followed Lucy around the kitchen and back out to the main dining area.

“I’ll see you next week, Kate.” Lucy said instead of answering. 

“Right. Yeah. See you.” She nodded, fumbled for her wallet and dropped a few bills on the table. “As always, thanks for the meal and the company.”

“Oh god, please don’t thank me for my company as you pay me. That just…yeah, that makes me feel…”

Kate’s eyes widened. “Right. Yeah.”

The unintentional comparison to a prostitute flooded Lucy’s mind with a myriad of inappropriate images. Kate must have had the same problem because she wordlessly fumbled out of the door in a rush.

“Goodnight, Kate!” Lucy called after her.

Lucy locked the door behind her. Then she cleaned up their booth and went back into the kitchen to box up the leftovers. When the pie had cooled, she boxed that as well.

The next morning, she woke up around 7am, without her alarm. Just like usual. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep these hours. She was so tired. But the thought of seeing Kate again next week brought a smile to her face and she got up and was ready to face the day.

She went to the post office first after making Noah a care package. She filled it with a few pastries, and a loaf of homemade bread. After sending out the package, she went to the diner to do her normal Friday morning inventory so she could make sure she had everything she’d need for the weekend rush. After her work was done, she headed home for a much needed nap. 

Later that night, at their weekly trivia night, Lucy was content just watching everyone else chat happily rather than joining in as usual. She loved her friends. She had chosen them well.

Late in the evening, she found herself stifling another yawn.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are we boring you?” Ernie asked.

“No more than usual.”

“Ha!” He laughed but then narrowed his eyes and studied her.

“What’s up, boss? You’ve been a bit quiet tonight.” Kai wondered.

Kai was one of Lucy’s other chefs. He was her best one. He was very talented and the locals loved him. Well, the women especially loved him. 

“I just haven’t been sleeping the greatest lately.”

“What’s been keeping you up?” Chase asked conversationally.

Carla Chase preferred to go by Chase, and she worked part time as a waitress at the diner. She also ran an etsy shop out of her RV. She drove around to all the county fairs and flea markets, and even had a roadside stand during the fall. The stuff she sold wasn’t particularly up Lucy’s alley, but she did do pretty well for herself. 

“More like who. ” Ernie stated conspiratorially.

“Is it the girl with the truck?” Jesse asked, suddenly more invested in the conversation.

Jesse was like a big brother to her. More so than any of her own, unfortunately. She wondered if Kate and Noah’s relationship was anything like hers and Jesse’s. She hoped so.

He owned the local vehicle repair shop and was like a jack of all trades. He’d help her with some repairs around the diner and at her home. He also taught her Krav Maga and was her regular sparring partner. Lucy had weekly dinners with his family and was like an aunt to his three kids. Plus, she adored his wife, Heather. She was a pilot for Southwest Airlines so Lucy didn’t see her as much as she wished she could, although she was present at all the Sunday dinners.

“How do you possibly know about that?” She asked and then glared at Ernie. “You have a big mouth.”

He raised his hands in defense or surrender. She wasn’t sure which. 

“It wasn’t me. My lips have been sealed.”

“Bam Bam noticed a new truck at the truck stop the last couple of months and then drove by a few nights ago and saw the same truck here…after hours.” Jesse explained and glanced at Bam Bam for confirmation.

Bam Bam was the newest addition to their little family. Lucy honestly didn’t know what her deal was or how she had started to come around. But she’d been a constant ever since and Lucy enjoyed her presence. She was smooth, sarcastic, mysterious and absolutely queer. If she wasn’t so wrapped up in Kate, she might have considered asking Bam Bam out. 

“She’s tall, blonde. Really pretty.” Bam Bam declared. “You should totally go for it. I approve.”

Kai stared at her. “That’s all it takes for your approval?”

“Yeah, I don’t care how pretty she is. She needs to be vetted. We all know Lucy’s track record.” Jesse said.

“We also know Lucy is an adult woman who can make her own decisions.” Heather supplied.

“Mistakes.” Jesse and Ernie unhelpfully corrected.

“Thank you, you’ve always been the better Boone.” Lucy ignored them and smiled at Heather.

“What is she like? At least give us some details.” Chase asked.

“Here, let me. I’ve got this and I’ve been dying to share!” Ernie announced happily.

Lucy tried to quickly replay all of her conversations with him about Kate, especially the one where she told him she finally confirmed that Kate was queer. Luckily, she had left out the whole Kate checking out her ass last night thing.

“Her name is Kate Whistler. She showed up at the diner one night after closing time and Lucy felt compelled to lie to her and let her think she was still open. So Kate’s been showing up at the same time twice a week since. They share a meal together that Lucy pretends is a date. They flirt. Or at least, Lucy tries to flirt. Kate tends to get awkward when she does. And recently, Kate revealed that she is in fact a lesbian!” He said the last part with so much excitement.

“Of course she is. Have you seen her truck?” Bam Bam replied.

“So, what’s your plan? When are you going to ask her out?” Heather asked, now equally as invested as the rest of them.

“I can’t just…ask her out.”

“Why not?”

“First of all, we’re barely friends.”

It felt like a lie even as she said it.

“Second of all, just because she’s into girls that doesn’t automatically mean she’s into me.”

They all looked at her like she was crazy.

“Who wouldn’t love you?” Heather asked as she rested her hand on Lucy’s.

“You mean, apart from her last two girlfriends?” Jesse asked and then winced. “Sorry. It’s a sore topic for me. I hate what they did to you.”

She appreciated him. She appreciated all of them.

“She doesn’t do relationships.” Lucy whispered quietly. 

Because that was the crux of it. She would absolutely sleep with Kate if given the chance. If one or several nights were all she was given. But Lucy also knew herself well enough that she knew she’d always want more. She tried to rationalize it as just blowing off steam and having some fun. She tried telling herself that she wasn’t ready for anything serious again anyway because she had trust issues and her heart was still healing. But she was so profoundly a relationship type of girl. She wanted all the traditional things. A wife. Kids. White picket fence. A whole lifetime with someone. Most of all, she wanted a family. She’d spent most of her adult life creating her own family because the one she was born with had been so disappointing. And even though she was repairing those relationships, she just really wanted to have a real one of her own. She wanted to do things right. She wanted it all.

“Oh.” The entire group breathed out in unison. Even Bam Bam seemed to understand what Lucy was looking for.

“Yeah.” Lucy sighed in defeat.

They seemed to let the conversation drop after that, for which Lucy was grateful. Soon, laughter and chatter resumed and Lucy participated in it this time around. Although, it was a bit forced for the first time ever.

KCKCKCKCKC

Kate had recently crossed the Oklahoma state line when her phone rang. It was Noah. It was Tuesday morning and they had already had their weekly Sunday call, so she grew anxious. She was worried that something was wrong. She hoped nothing bad had happened to him in the last two days. She made note of the upcoming exit and planned to pull off to give Noah her undivided attention.

“Noah, hey, I’m driving right now but will be able to pull off in two miles. Is everything okay?” She explained as she answered the call.

Her phone was linked to the bluetooth in her truck so she was able to focus on driving as she spoke.

“I’ll wait.”

Both of them were hyper aware of driving etiquette and being safe while on the road. Losing your parents to a largely preventable accident would do that to anyone, Kate assumed. Part of her wondered if the reason Noah exchanged their plans to go into business together for a lifetime in the Army had something to do with the way their parents died. Kate had mixed feelings about the whole thing. She loved driving and being on the road. She loved being untethered to any single place. But she was also acutely aware that every time she stepped inside her truck, that she was messing with fate. Maybe it was the daily reminder of the shortness and randomness of life that motivated her to be the best there was at what she did. She could do her job, live in the present and not dwell on the past but also not worry about the future. Because tomorrow wasn’t automatically given to anyone. Maybe it sounded morbid. But mortality had a way of keeping her grounded. She realized that maybe she should read the Stoics a little less and maybe pick up a romance novel at the next truck stop.

She came up on her exit, used her blinker and made her way to the nearest gas station to park safely.

“Okay. What’s up?” She asked when she put her truck in park and secured the parking brake.

“Who is Lucy Tara and is she single? Can I marry her?” Noah asked.

Kate’s mind flashed to so many disaster scenarios. “How do you know about Lucy?”

“Nope. You answer my questions first.”

“She’s the one who runs the diner that I go to when I’m in Texas. I told you about it.”

“Yeah. You told me about the diner and the food. You did not tell me about the super hot woman who owns it.”

Kate’s eyes widened and she stopped breathing. Did Lucy actually send him pictures? God, was she nude? Does Lucy Tara take nudes? Who does she send them to other than brothers of girls she’s been chatting with?

“How do you know she’s hot? How do you know her name?” 

Kate was proud that her voice came out in the near normal range.

“She sent me a care package. The cherry pie is phenomenal. But so are the pastries. And this bread…chef’s kiss.” 

“Okay….? But how do you know what she looks like?”

“Oh, I googled her, obviously. If she’s spending all this time with my sister, I needed to see who she was. I may be an ocean away but I’m still your big brother.”

“You googled her.” She exhaled in relief.

“She’s like uber rich.”

“Her parents are. Not her.” Kate corrected. Because that seemed like an important distinction to Lucy.

“And she’s gorgeous. She won Miss Texas in college. Even got a modeling contract. You’re really shooting for the stars with this girl, Katie.”

“We’re friends.”

Kate hadn’t known about the Miss Texas thing or the modeling contract. Not that either of those were surprising. But she was unfairly jealous that Noah knew things about Lucy that she didn’t.

“She owns her own business just like you. So you have that in common. And she’s amazing in the…kitchen.” Noah added suggestively. 

Kate knew he was trying to rattle her. That he was fishing for information.

“Noah, don’t.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him about Lucy or that she had deliberately hid her from him. She just enjoyed their midnight rendezvous. It felt like they were in their own secret world in those early hours of morning. She liked keeping Lucy to herself. Not specifically as a secret from Noah, but as her own. Something she didn’t have to share with anyone. Besides, this was the good kind of secret. The fun kind. Or it had been. Now the secret was out. 

“She’s adorable. She wrote me a sweet letter with loopy handwriting.” He continued to goad her.

Kate was annoyed. And yes, actually jealous. If it hadn’t been so sharp and intense, she wouldn’t have recognized the emotion. It was just one more thing that was completely new to her.

“Did you know she speaks Arabic? As you know, so do I. Which is really cool.” He continued. “And she seems to think very highly of you.”

Okay, that had Kate’s attention. “What’d she say?”

“Oh, that’s private. It was in my letter. Written to me.”

“I hate you.”

He laughed. “Seriously. Why don’t you go for it? If it goes badly, it’s not like you’ll have to see her again. She lives in a completely different state. I’d think that would be ideal for you. Long distance relationships are the perfect excuse to keep your independence, right? You won’t have to feel tied down. You see her a couple times a week for the fun bits and then go on with your life.”

Kate rolled her eyes. That all sounded awful. Besides…

“If it goes wrong, Noah, neither of us will get any more cherry pie.”

“Geez, you’re right. Don’t screw this up for me, Katie.”

“Yes, because this is all about you.”

“Naturally.”

Kate smiled despite herself. She really did love her brother. And she enjoyed this. Their banter. The easy way they had with each other. He truly was her best friend.

“Anyway, we barely know each other. We only just started being friends. I don’t have many of those, Noah. You know that.”

Kate understood that that was mostly her own fault. She never put herself out there. Connecting with people was hard and scary. She didn’t understand how people were able to do it so easily and throw it away so casually if it went sideways.

“When are you seeing her again?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“Tonight actually.”

“Ooh, what do you think is on the menu?”

“She’s not cooking for me this time. I offered to pick us up something on my way down there. And don’t say anything. Don’t read into it. I just felt bad because she’s always doing things for me and I don’t like feeling like I’m not holding up my end of the friendship. I don’t want to feel like a leech.”

“I understand.”

She knew he did. He felt the same way. He hated asking for help or being given things he felt he didn’t earn.

“I was thinking of picking up some Thai food. Or Chinese. I even considered sushi. Do you think she’d like sushi? She hates the ocean so does that mean she won’t eat fish? Or will she eat fish because she hates the ocean? Like to prove her dominance over it or something.”

“Slow down. Take a deep breath. Relax and don’t think too much about it. Are you ever disappointed by what she cooks for you?”

“Well, the first time she tried feeding me pineapple. And once there was pizza.”

He chuckled. “The nerve of that woman.”

Kate smiled back even though he couldn’t see her. “But even then, it wasn’t…bad. Like…the food choices weren’t what was important. It was the effort. And even if I didn’t particularly like the pizza, I still very much enjoyed myself. It was something she wanted to share with me, and she was so excited to be eating it.”

“Then there you go.”

“What?”

“Bring something you want to share with her. Something you’ll enjoy.”

He had a point. A good one. Tonight was about sharing parts of herself with Lucy. So why not start with the food?

“But maybe don’t bring her Krispy Kreme donuts.”

“Too late. You gave me the idea.”

“She literally makes her own donuts. I saw it on her website. Please don’t do this, I’m begging you.”

“And I’m hanging up now. Love you. Bye.” She hung up on him with a smile and a bit more confidence. 

She got to the diner quite a bit earlier than usual. So she decided to do her vehicle inspection tonight rather than in the morning as per usual. She walked around the truck checking tire pressures and searching for any signs of wear and tear that needed to be addressed. Then she climbed up on the front of the truck, opened the hood and peered at the engine. She checked fluid levels and refilled as necessary. She wiped the grease off on her white tank top and berated herself for the mess she made. Again.

When she climbed down, she wiped her hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand and slammed down the hood of the truck. She turned and found Lucy staring at her with her mouth wide open. Kate smirked. Lucy had definitely been checking her out. Kate was beyond amused. And flattered. And more than a little invested in the idea that Lucy found her attractive.

“Hi! I was just…I was looking at you.” Lucy’s eyes widened. “ For you.”

“Sorry. I got wrapped up in what I was doing. Did you need something?”

“I needed you. I needed to find you. ” Lucy closed her eyes and bit her lip adorably. When she opened her eyes, she smiled at Kate and squared her shoulders. “I’m going to try this again. I was just looking for you because you’ve been out here a while and haven’t come inside yet.” 

“Well, I’m ready now. But remember, we’re having dinner in my truck tonight. I have everything ready for us.” Then she raised her greasy hands. “Would you mind me cleaning up a bit first? I have a spare shirt I can change into so I’m not so gross.”

Lucy nodded absent-mindedly and Kate quickly retrieved a clean shirt before following the petite brunette inside the diner. Kate headed to the restroom to clean up and quickly changed out of her greasy shirt. She heard Lucy singing along to a song on the jukebox. It was a country song she didn’t recognize. Kate chuckled to herself thinking that maybe the reason she didn’t recognize it was because Lucy was singing the wrong lyrics. She walked out of the bathroom still smiling.

“You’re in a good mood, tonight.” Lucy smiled at her when she approached.

Kate raised an eyebrow. “What? As opposed to every other time you see me?”

Lucy rolled her eyes and swatted at her playfully. She let her hand rest on Kate’s bare arm afterwards. Kate willed her body not to react even as electricity rushed through her at the touch. 

Lucy squeezed affectionately and then clapped her hands together. “Okay! So what do you have for me?”

Kate laughed and shook her head. “I hope you retain that enthusiasm when you see what I’m making you eat.”

Kate led Lucy out of the diner and waited for her while she locked up; then she held open the truck door so Lucy could climb inside. 

Lucy looked up at her with wide eyes. “I can’t get up there. Not on my own.”

Kate hadn’t thought of that. “I’ll give you a boost.”

“You can’t lift me up there.” Lucy stared at her doubtfully.

“I could probably bench press you if I wanted to.”

She wanted to.

Lucy licked her lips and nodded. “Right.”

Kate knelt down as best she could and laced her fingers together. Lucy stepped one foot into Kate’s open palms tentatively. 

“On the count of three, you hop up there, okay? Grab the steering wheel for leverage if you need to.”

Lucy nodded. 

“One, two…three.” Kate counted down and boosted her up as promised. 

And as Lucy struggled to get in properly, Kate was rewarded with a very nice view of Lucy’s ass in her tight jeans. This truly was the greatest idea Kate had ever had in her entire life. 

When Lucy was finally secure in the driver’s seat, Kate leaned in and smiled. “See? Safe and sound, just like I promised. I’ll just go around to the other side. You stay there.”

She closed the door for her and jogged around the front of her truck. She climbed in the other side easily and smirked when she saw Lucy was taking selfies of herself at the wheel. She looked cute sitting in such a big rig. 

“I’m going to send those to Jesse.” She said by way of explanation as she put her phone away. “So…KMW Transport. I’m assuming those are your initials.”

“Good guess. Katherine Marie Whistler.” 

“I like it. It suits you.” Lucy grinned at her. 

“What’s your middle name?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Oh.”

They sat in an awkward silence for a moment. Kate noticed Lucy glance at the CB radio between them. 

“That’s my primary means of communication while in transit. I use Channel 19. I have a handle and everything.” Kate explained proudly.

“Let me guess? Maverick.” Lucy asked her as her eyes twinkled with excitement.

Kate smiled, grateful Lucy seemed to understand at least a thing or two about her job. “No. Even better. It’s Nightcrawler.”

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows and frowned. “Like the worm?”

“What? No! He’s an X-man. Plus, it’s a clever reference because I mostly drive at night.”

Lucy looked at her with bemusement. “If you have to explain it and tell me it’s clever…maybe it’s not that clever, Kate.”

Lucy patted her arm patronizingly but then smiled brightly at her to let her know she was kidding. Then Lucy tapped ruefully on the Hawaiian dancer on her dashboard. Lucy raised an eyebrow in question.

“Gift from Noah. He got me one back in college too, when I got my first car. He said it’s a rite of passage or something.”

It had also been his sneaky way of telling her that he’d be stationed in Hawaii for a few years.

Lucy nodded with a soft smile. “So, he’s fine with you being queer?”

“More than. He’s been very supportive since the start. He did a lot of research and everything. He’s always sending me stuff he finds. Like if a new gay club opens in a town I’m driving through. Or another queer bookstore pops up in Chicago. I think it’s his way of also trying to get me to go out more or something. He’s not impressed that I’m still single.”

“Awww, he loves his sister and just wants her to be happy.”

“Single people can be happy.”

“I know. I agree. I’m pretty happy at the moment myself.”

Kate filed that tidbit away for later. She assumed she was single, but she liked having the confirmation. For science. Not for any other particular reason. Kate just enjoyed being fully informed.

“How about you? Is your family okay with you being queer? Do they even know?” Kate asked as she grabbed the bags of food and the box of donuts.

Lucy nodded absent-mindedly. “Honestly, my family took my being a lesbian better than my refusual to work in the family business.” Lucy told her as she leaned back in her seat and got comfortable. “I didn’t come out to them until after I opened this place. We didn’t have much of a relationship for years before that, so I didn’t feel like they deserved to know all of me. Especially the big and important parts of me. But it’s going well, they’ve been supportive.” Lucy looked at her. “Sort of like your brother. They keep trying to set me up with the eligible daughters of their business associates. I think they’re trying to make up for everything that happened between us and that’s how they’re trying to do it. So I let them have that. I want us to have a better relationship, so I go on dates with one of the potential suitors every few months just to appease them. None have stuck though.”

Kate’s heart pounded rapidly in her chest. Relieved that none stuck. Upset that Lucy continued to let her family control aspects of her life. And oddly possessive about the fact that Lucy seemed to date regularly. 

“Speaking of your brother though, did he get the package I sent him?”

“You mean the extra treats you failed to mention you were sending him and the handwritten letter?” Kate tried to keep her bitter jealousy out of her tone but knew she one hundred percent failed.

Lucy beamed proudly anyway. “So he got them! And he liked them?”

“There may have been a proposal.” Kate commented. She couldn’t help grinning this time because Lucy was positively beaming.

“Ooh, I’ll have to think about it.”

“What? Really?” 

Lucy glared at her playfully. “No, not really, Kate. I’m sure he’s amazing. But he’s…you know, the wrong gender.”

“Oh, right.” Kate relaxed a bit and rolled her eyes at herself.

“So he wasn’t too creeped out by a stranger sending him food? How did he know I didn’t poison it?”

Kate laughed. “I’m sure it was heavily screened and a bomb dog was brought in actually.”

Lucy nodded seriously. “Good. Safety protocols are important.”

“He googled you.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Like you haven’t.”

“I haven’t! Why? Did you google me after the prerequisite three conversations?”

Lucy shook her head. “I didn’t.” Then her eyes widened. “But fair warning, I’m pretty sure Ernie and Jesse have. Or will.”

“Jesse? The scary Rambo one?”

“He’s actually a big ole soft Teddy Bear. But don’t tell him I told you so.”

“Don’t want to ruin his street cred?” 

Lucy laughed out loud. “You did not just say that with a straight face.”

“What? It’s what all the cool kids say.”

Lucy’s boisterous laughter descended into uncontrollable giggles.

“What? Do people really not say that anymore?” Kate asked self-consciously.

“Some people should never say it, Kate.” 

The fond way Lucy delivered the line made Kate relax. She wasn’t being laughed at. She was being teased. She could deal with that. Now that she recognized the difference.

Kate distracted herself by glancing into the bags that sat forgotten in her lap and handed one to Lucy. Then she opened the boxes of assorted donuts, grabbed one with chocolate frosting and stuck it in her mouth as she extended the opened box toward Lucy.

Lucy watched her with growing interest. “Dessert first? Or are we only eating sweets? I never know what to expect with you.”

Kate smirked proudly around her donut when Lucy didn’t comment further and took a simple glazed one. She closed the box and set it on the dashboard as she leaned back in her seat and watched Lucy enjoy her donut as she happily ate her own. This was nice. Sharing her space with Lucy. Usually she hated the intrusion into her personal space, but Lucy filled it with peace and joy and contentment. She was small, but she had a big personality. Except, it wasn’t the overbearing or irritating kind of big. It was just a chaotic and contagious energy. She literally buzzed with excitement even at mundane things and it was endearing to witness. Kate found she couldn’t take her eyes off of her.

“So…” Lucy said into the silence when she caught Kate watching her.

Kate blushed and looked away. “So…?”

“Tell me what you do when you’re not driving around the country.” Lucy suggested as she licked the glaze off her fingers completely oblivious to how that would affect Kate.

Kate took a moment to answer. “I don’t do much. Sundays are my only days off and I spend most of the morning talking to Noah.”

“That’s nice. Sundays are sort of my family day also.”

“Really? I assumed you weren’t all that close with them.”

Lucy shook her head frantically. “Oh gosh, no. If I had to have weekly dinners with my actual family I would not be so well adjusted.”

Kate gestured for her to continue. “Okay…then…”

“I go to Jesse’s and spend the day with him and his family. Heather’s the best. That’s his wife. And he has three kids. Well, Gracie, the oldest, just started driver’s training so she isn’t much of a kid anymore. But his kids are like my nieces and nephew. I spoil them rotten.”

“I can’t wait to do that to Noah’s kids when he has them.” Kate said with fondness. “So trivia nights with your friends on Friday and family day with Jesse on Sundays. That sounds nice. Tell me more about your friends. You’ve mentioned Jesse and Ernie before. What about the others? How’d you meet Jesse?”

“Jesse fixed my car and then did a few repairs around the diner and at my house. We just hit it off, so I asked him to be my friend.”

“You asked him?”

“I did. I do that with everyone I meet that I think is cool. If they make me happy and I want them to be in my life, I collect them.” She paused. “Not the Jeffrey Dahmer creepy kind of way.”

Kate laughed unexpectedly. But Lucy just continued talking.

“Kai is one of my chefs. He’s fantastic. He’s a gentle and good soul. Chase is one of my waitresses. I don’t think she needs the job and she isn’t actually that good at it because she sort of scares some of the customers away with her eccentricities. But she’s fun. She’s knowledgeable and kind and I like her energy. She just goes with the flow. Very calm, very mellow. Exactly what I need sometimes. I already told you that Heather is just an all around awesome human being. Probably one of my favorite people. And then the most recent addition besides you, is Bam Bam.”

Kate flushed at the mention that Lucy counted her among the people she liked having around. Someone she wanted to keep in her life. Then the last words registered.

“Bam Bam?”

“Yeah, she just sort of showed up to trivia night one night. And she fit right in with the group. She’s interesting. She intrigues me. And she keeps Jesse and Kai in their places. She’s ruthless with them. I love it.”

Kate nodded. It did sound like a good group of people. She was proud to be counted among them.

“So you’ve deemed me worthy of your collection?” Kate asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup. I found you and I don’t plan on letting you go.”

“Is that meant to be endearing or threatening?”

“That’s for you to decide.” Lucy clapped her hands together to dispel the tension that had suddenly fallen between them. “Now, what else do you have with you, Kate? I’m hungry. Feed me.”

Kate gestured at the bag that sat in Lucy’s lap. “Go ahead. See for yourself.”

Lucy peeked inside and smiled happily. “You brought sandwiches!”

“Subs, actually.”

Lucy took hers out of her bag and studied it? “Where’s it from? Somewhere around here? There’s no markings on it.”

“I made them. I picked up some stuff at the store when I stopped for gas and bought a cooler to keep them cold.”

“Kate, this is perfect.”

“It’s just a sub. Nothing spectacular.”

Subs and sandwiches were one of her comfort foods. She perfected making them for herself and Noah back in high school. 

“You’re wrong. You took the time to make them. That automatically means it’s amazing.” Lucy told her as she unwrapped it and took a bite. “Hmmm.” She chewed, wallowed and then glanced at Kate. “What is it that you added to it? It’s not mayo.”

Kate rolled her shoulders back proudly. “Oh, it’s my secret sauce.”

Lucy stared at her for a long time. Then she shook her head and continued to eat. Kate did the same. She was relieved that Lucy enjoyed her surprise. She was glad that she took the extra time and effort to make them herself rather than to just grab some at Subway or something.

They ate in relative silence and Kate was content with it until a nagging question popped up in her mind.

“So…you modeled…” She trailed off as if there was a question in there somewhere.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you mention it before?”

Lucy shrugged and sighed. “When my parents found out I declared hospitality management as a major, they basically disowned me. I never even had to tell them I didn’t want to go into the family business, they took my decision as defiance. They kicked me out. I couldn’t go home for breaks or holidays. I lived out of my car during the summers or couch surfed at a friend’s house. That’s how I found this town, and fell in love with the area. I knew I had to do something to pay my own way. So when the opportunity to do modeling came along, I did it. I kept at it through the rest of college and a year or two after. It paid well. I used the money to pay for culinary school. And used what I had left over for poker. Played long enough to earn the money for my diner. It’s all mine so no one can tell me how to run it or be upset at me if I fail.”

“You won’t fail.” Kate told her honestly. 

“I got to make a home here. Far enough from my parents’ reach and the reminder of all I lost just because I wanted to live my own dream and not theirs. But I wasn’t going to let them run me out of the state I love. This is where I stood my ground, even as everyone I knew from college moved away and I had to start over again and make new friends.”

Kate took it all in. She knew Lucy didn’t get along with her parents. She knew that her friends and her diner meant everything to her. But she would never have guessed everything she endured to make this place her home. She always seemed so carefree and made it all look so easy. 

“So…why poker?” Kate asked after a long moment of silent contemplation.

“Why not? Most people under-estimate women in poker. I made sure my online profile had a really girly name and casually mentioned here and there that I was on the beauty pageant circuit for a while. I let people’s own prejudices and assumptions do the rest for me.” Lucy grinned at her. “All’s fair in love and poker.”

Kate laughed. That was ruthlessly brilliant and she respected her for it.

“Have you ever played?” Lucy asked as she reached for another donut before taking a swig from the tumbler of ice water that Kate provided for her.

Kate shook her head. “Not yet, but I’m learning.”

“Ooh, newbie. We have to play together sometime. Don’t worry, I won’t go easy on you.”

Kate coughed awkwardly and took a sip of her own water until she could control her heavy breathing. “That isn’t the reassurance I think you think it is.”

Lucy grinned. “You should know now, I’m severely competitive.”

Kate raised an eyebrow. “Competitive I can handle. Tell me you’re not a sore loser.”

“I wouldn't know. I don’t lose.” Lucy seared Kate with a darkened expression. It was hot. Sexy even. 

Kate was so completely turned on right now. It was very inconvenient.

“I…may have a deck of cards in here somewhere.” She offered. Proud that her voice didn’t waver too much.

Lucy’s eyes widened and practically shined with excitement. She jumped up from her seat and wandered toward the back of the cab. Kate followed her. She watched as Lucy took in her meager belongings. A stack of books. Her free weights. Her bed.

“You make your bed.” Lucy commented.

“I do. Every time.”

Lucy squatted down and browsed through her books. Then she squeaked with joy and grabbed one from the pile. Of course she noticed The Biggest Bluff . It was a recent buy for obvious reasons. Reasons she hoped weren’t too obvious to Lucy.

Kate loved her books. She loved reading. Primarily nonfiction. But now she wondered what Lucy thought of them. 

“You have a poker book.” Lucy stated as she flipped through it.

“I told you I was learning.”

Lucy sat the book down and picked up one of Kate’s heavier dumbbells. Kate was impressed that she seemed to lift it with little effort. Maybe she had underestimated Lucy’s strength. That was another detail she filed away for later.

“So this is how you keep in shape?”

Kate flushed at Lucy’s attention. She was proud that Lucy had noticed how fit she was. 

“I also have equipment at home. An entire home gym. Plus, I run each morning before I start my route.”

Lucy nodded but seemed to be distracted enough not to reply back. Kate watched her continue to take in her surroundings. Once again, she noticed the lack of intrusiveness she felt with Lucy’s presence.

“So, where are these cards of yours?” Lucy asked after a while.

Kate walked over to her suitcase in the corner, near her bed. She was glad Lucy didn’t seek them out on her own or she may have found more than she bargained for. Kate hid her blush by ducking her head as she moved aside her vibrator to grab the deck of cards. She definitely planned to make use of that later. She held them up triumphantly as she quickly zipped up her suitcase. Lucy plucked the cards from her hands and plopped down on Kate’s bed. 

Lucy was on Kate’s bed. She sat down as if she belonged there and Kate had to focus so that her brain wouldn’t short circuit. Lucy looked up at her and patted the bed. “Come on, let’s play.”

Kate swallowed thickly and tried not to trip over her own feet at how quickly she sought to obey Lucy’s command.

“We’ll start with Texas Hold ‘em. Since well, we’re in Texas.” Lucy explained and shuffled the deck effortlessly with her fingers.

With her strong, perfect fingers. Kate struggled to breathe properly.

“So, when I usually teach new people to play, I use the positive reinforcement method.” Lucy spoke.

“Hmm.” Kate nodded with confusion.

“Strip Poker, Kate.” Lucy told her as they locked eyes.

Kate’s mouth dropped open. “Oh…”

She struggled for her brain to catch up with her mouth before she said anything really stupid. But then Lucy was laughing at her and Kate felt even more lost.

“I’m kidding, Kate. You should see your face!” Lucy leaned into Kate for support to keep herself from falling over because she was laughing so hard. “I already told you I’ve never actually played in person before.”

“Oh. Yeah.” 

Kate was never going to be able to focus on the game, not with the images flowing through her mind. Strip Poker. On Kate’s bed. She was far too gay to function right now. She valiantly tried to learn though. And Lucy was a good and patient teacher. When her hormones calmed down and behaved themselves, she actually enjoyed herself and the game. It was about skill as much as luck. More than luck really. She could do this. This was something she could excel at if she wanted to. 

They played for a while. They laughed and talked and soon, light started to slowly filter into the cab. 

Lucy glanced down at her watch. “Shit. It’s morning. You didn’t even get any sleep.”

“Neither did you.”

“Yeah, but my job isn’t driving around with a few tons of machinery in a metal death trap.” Her eyes widened and she looked apologetic as she placed a hand on Kate’s forearm. “I’m sorry, that was absolutely careless and tactless of me to say.”

Yes, Kate’s parents died in a car accident. Yes, it was something she was always acutely aware of. But she wasn’t so sensitive as to be offended or affected by Lucy’s words. Her therapist, if she had one, would call that growth.

“It’s fine, Lucy. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” She gathered the cards and put them in their box. 

She smiled when she watched Lucy climb off the bed and smooth out the wrinkles. Lucy stood to her full height, and faced her. She looked so frazzled.

“I’m so sorry that I lost track of time.”

“It took two of us, I’m not upset. But I do need to get going.”

It was still early enough. Not much later than she usually got started in the mornings. And she’d have to make up the time because she definitely would need a long nap earlier than usual. She was so wired right now that she wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway, even if she could. She’d have to adjust things slightly, but it was so worth it. In every way. She would likely spend all day Sunday sleeping it off and she was fine with that.

Kate kept busy driving around the next two days until Thursday night rolled around. She was well beyond exhausted and she knew she would have to cut tonight’s visit short, but she also didn’t want to. She was looking forward to seeing Lucy again. To laugh with her and just be around her. These moments were her favorite of the entire week, apart from her phone calls with Noah. 

She pulled her rig into the parking lot, parked it, and climbed out. She jumped when Lucy stood just outside waiting for her. 

“Hey!” She greeted happily when she recovered from the fright. “What’s up?”

Lucy held up a large, brown paper sack in one hand and a bag of ice in the other. Kate frowned at her in confusion.

“I don’t think you play charades with props.” Kate grinned as she teased her.

“I made you something to eat while on the road. I kept you up too late last time and I know you have your long drive back starting in the morning so you need some proper rest tonight.”

Kate was grateful for her thoughtfulness, but also thoroughly disappointed. “But…you’re really going to just send me away? You’re not even going to sit with me while I eat it?”

Lucy faltered at that and bit her lip. Kate took that as a sign to pour the guilt on really thick.

“I’m already alone all day long. No human interaction whatsoever that doesn’t involve discussing invoices or the weight of my truck. And now you’re going to make me eat alone?”

Lucy’s eyes turned sad and she sighed shakily. “No. I won’t do that to you. Why don’t we sit out here? That way we won’t get too carried away and lose track of time.”

Kate pumped her fist in victory but looked properly chastised when Lucy gave her an unamused look.

“You play dirty, Kate Whistler.”

Kate shrugged. “I learned from the master. You and your ‘all’s fair in love and poker’ spiel really inspired me.”

Kate sat down in the grass at the edge of the parking lot and Lucy sat beside her. 

“You really planned to just send me on my way?” Kate asked again. She hated to admit it, but the thought stung a little.

“I want you well-rested and safe, Kate. So you can come back to me again next week.”

Kate blushed at that and ducked her head to look into the bag of goodies. “You made me a sandwich.”

“Quick and easy. You seem to prefer them.”

Lucy made it sound so simple. But it meant the world to Kate. She listened to her. She understood her, even if she didn’t fully understand why it meant so much to her. Kate handed half of the sandwich to Lucy.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t. That’s yours.” Lucy shook her head.

“And I’m offering it to you. Please, don’t make me eat alone.”

“I’m right here.”

“You know what I mean.”

Lucy dutifully took the sandwich. Then she pulled out her phone and played some music. Kate smiled as familiar tunes filtered into the darkness around them. 

Kate handed Lucy the bottled water. “I have a thermos in the truck.”

She quickly got up to retrieve it and came back just in time to hear Lucy butchering the AC/DC lyrics.

“Seriously? It’s the actual name of the song, how can you get it wrong?” She declared exasperatingly. But she was far more charmed by Lucy than genuinely upset with her. “He says ‘ you’ so clearly, how the hell do you get ‘ we’ out of it? You have to be messing with me.”

Lucy waited for the part to come on again and sang louder, “We shimmed all night long.”

Kate sat beside her again. She would probably have this incorrect version in her head the entire drive home. But she listened quietly to Lucy serenade her while she finished eating her sandwich. Then she looked back inside the bag.

“Are these sweet potato fries?”

Lucy nodded.

Kate tossed one in her mouth. They were spiced perfectly. She quickly ate several more. Then she extended the bag to Lucy who grabbed a few for herself.

When they finished those, Kate noticed the freshly baked Chocolate Chip cookie still left inside the bag.

“You even made me dessert! I’m not sharing this with you.” Kate told her as she took a large bite of it.

“That’s okay, I have a couple dozen more in the diner.”

“Rude.” Kate looked regrettably at the empty bag. “Well, I guess that’s it. Right? I’m Cinderella and you have to send me hurriedly away.”

“Something like that.”

Kate understood, she did. She even respected it. 

“Okay, then this is goodnight, I guess.” Kate stood up slowly. She tried to smoothly prolong their moment just a little longer.

Lucy grabbed the empty bag from Kate. “I’ll toss this for you.”

They both stood there awkwardly. 

“Is it okay if I…?” Lucy gestured with her open arms.

Kate stared at her. “You want a hug?”

Lucy nodded shyly, which made Kate feel bashful herself. 

“Of course.” Kate breathed out.

She barely got the words out before Lucy lunged at her and engulfed her in a hug that Kate immediately returned. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. She didn’t want to let go.

“Be safe out there.” Lucy told her as she stepped away.

“I always am.”

Kate watched Lucy turn and walk away from her. She waited for her car to disappear down the road before climbing in her truck. She drove to Love’s far earlier than usual, but was more restless than tired now. Kate climbed out of her truck, slammed the door, and wandered into the 24 hour truck stop after filling up on gas. It was busier now than when Kate usually arrived. She had already emptied the bag of ice Lucy gave her into her new cooler, but decided that she could refill her thermos with some decaf coffee. Or maybe they sold tea here. She smiled when she found some chamomile because it reminded her of her first night meeting Lucy. 

She rinsed out her thermos and refilled it with hot water. Then she brought the box of tea to the counter to pay for it.

“Kate Whistler! How are you?”

Kate stared wide-eyed at the unfamiliar girl. She was cute. She had her dark hair pulled back, and half of a snake tattoo exposed on her smooth, brown skin.

“How do you know my name? Do I know you?” She asked; a bit freaked out.

“Oh, sorry. I’ve seen you around here the last couple of months, obviously, since I work here.”

Kate nodded but then frowned. “Yes, but how do you know my name?”

“I have my regulars here. I know their trucks. Yours is a really nice truck. I took notice. I also noticed it at Lucy’s diner when I drove by on my way here.”

So she also knew Lucy by name.

“Right. And you are?”

“Bam Bam.”

It all finally clicked into place. Lucy mentioned a friend named Bam Bam. That meant…Lucy talked to her friends about Kate. Not just Ernie or Jesse, but all of them.

Kate extended her hand for a handshake, but Bam Bam awkwardly tried to fist bump her instead. Kate quickly pulled her hand back and grabbed her wallet to pay for her tea. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Bam Bam.”

Bam Bam nodded as she rang her up.

“Are you coming to trivia night tonight?”

Kate glanced at the clock. It was officially Friday. Lucy and her friends had their weekly trivia night tonight.

“I can’t. I’m on my way back home. Maybe next time.”

She said it conversationally, but as she said it a new idea brewed in her mind. She became excited by the prospect and decided to do what she could to make it happen.

Kate parked her rig and slept surprisingly well despite her encounter with Bam Bam and with the herbal assistance from the chamomile tea. She arrived well on time for her reload and while she waited, she hopped out of her truck and strode confidently into the lobby. After she had dropped off her paperwork, she knocked on Jane Tennant’s partially closed door.

“It’s me.” She announced and smiled when Jane told her to come in.

“Morning.” Jane greeted her with a warm smile.

“Morning.” Kate replied happily.

Jane’s eyes narrowed and she studied her. “You seem different.”

“I slept well last night.”

“I thought you didn’t sleep at night. Don’t you prefer to drive through them so you can avoid most traffic?”

Kate realized belatedly that she may have to explain Lucy to Jane if she was going to ask her what she wanted to ask. 

She shrugged her off and sat across from her. “I was hoping to ask you for a favor.”

Jane nodded slowly. She still regarded Kate carefully. Like she was scrutinizing her. Like she was one of Jane’s kids and she expected to catch her doing something wrong. Or catch her in an elaborate lie. 

“I’d like to have next Friday off. I’ve already thought about all the logistics. I canceled my Albuquerque run.” Which saved her two days. “And I could pick up an extra run for you instead. In state. A short half-day one. But my favor is that I’d like to be here on Friday. So I won’t deliver your big load until Monday morning rather than Saturday night.”

“Okay?”

“And the following week, I’ll also cancel my Albuquerque run. I’m thinking of giving that one up altogether anyway. I’ll have to have a shorter week that week, since I’ll be pretty much working through the entire weekend and heading right back into things on Monday. So no extra runs, just the main drop off and pick up.”

“Kate, you actually expected me to be upset that you’re requesting time off? I’ve been hounding you to do so for ages. Of course we can work it out. Tell Noah I said ‘Hi.’”

“What? Why?”

“I assume that’s why you want the shortened week, right? He’s coming to visit.”

“Oh…no, he isn’t. I was planning on spending time here with friends.”

“You have friends here? Other than me?”

“ A friend.” Kate corrected.

“A friend that you’re willing to take time off for and visit when you don’t even do that for me? The only time we get to hang out and catch up is these weekly deliveries. You’re here twice a week and only come to visit me on Fridays.”

Kate felt guilty about that. She vowed to do better.

“Wait…a friend. Or a friend.”

“Just a friend, Jane.”

“So next Friday isn’t a date?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Not at all. It’s trivia night at a diner not far from here.”

“What’s the name of this diner?”

“Nope. You’re not coming.”

“But I love trivia night. It’s my favorite. And if it’s at a diner instead of a bar, I could maybe bring the kids. Make a family night out of it.”

“No.”

“Come on. It’ll be fun to hang out.”

“You want to hang out with me outside of work?”

“Kate…I invite you over to my house every week for dinner.”

“I’m working. You know that.”

“Please? I want to meet this friend of yours.”

“Stop saying it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like there should be air quotes around it.”

“I promise I’ll behave myself.”

Kate dreaded the idea of her two worlds colliding. But she also couldn’t deny she was a little excited by the possibility of having Jane with her as a lifeline when she met all of Lucy’s friends.

“On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I get to sleep at your place Thursday night and use your shower Friday.”

Jane smirked. “So you can get ready for your not date?”

“So I can show up at a diner full of people and not smell like I’ve been on the road for a week.”

Jane sobered up quickly and nodded. “Of course you can stay at my house and do what you need to do. Because we’re friends, Kate. You don’t even have to ask or preface it as needing a favor.”

Kate didn’t know a lot about friendship or making friends, but she knew she was grateful that she had Jane in her life. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. Now, leave me the name of the diner before you head back out.”

Kate groaned but complied.

KCKCKCKCKC

Lucy smiled as the doorbell chimed, indicating Kate’s arrival. 

“Hey.” Lucy greeted perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “Long time no see.”

She knew it was a stupid thing to say as soon as it had left her lips. Things were getting more complicated around Kate these days. They spent more time together––lingering before saying goodnight as if neither particularly wanted to leave. Lucy grew bolder with her casual touches when Kate hadn’t seemed to mind them. She was playing fast and loose with her heart these days, because despite her own promises not to fall for Kate she found herself craving her. Needing her. Missing her. Yes, she treasured their friendship and their growing closeness, but she couldn’t keep denying that she would want more if she could have it. If Kate was interested. If Kate was the type to date. If Kate didn’t live days away. There were a lot of ifs. So Lucy decided to simply ignore them. Or try her best to do so.

She took Kate in, her demeanor seemed off tonight. 

“Hey, I stopped in to say that I can’t stay. I probably should still be on the road right now.”

She looked regretful about that. Maybe she regretted that she was wasting time when she needed to be driving to who knows where.

“You came to say that you couldn't come?” Lucy repeated with confusion.

Kate blushed but maintained eye contact this time rather than looking away. “I…yeah.”

Lucy sighed, still feeling confused. “You could have just called.”

She did have her number after all. Even though she had yet to actually use it.

“Right. Yeah, I could have done that.” Kate admitted as if the thought only just occurred to her. Or as if even now that it had, it wasn’t something she would have wanted to do anyway.

“Oh, you’re hungry!” Lucy realized belatedly. 

“I…no, I mean, yeah, but…I should go. I just wanted to tell you in person. I don’t like to cancel plans with people, especially at the last minute, but I definitely didn’t want to just not show up.”

“And I appreciate that, Kate.”

Although, had she canceled earlier, Lucy wouldn’t have had to keep the diner open for the extra forty minutes. But if she was being honest with herself, even if she only got to see Kate for a few minutes tonight, it was worth it. It was far better than not seeing her at all. Which was an actual problem. She needed to get a grip on her feelings and do it fast.

“You don’t have to make me anything, Lucy. I can just grab something next time I stop for gas.”

“Nonsense. What’s the difference between the ten minutes it’ll take me to make you something now and the ten minutes it’ll take you to stop and pick something up later?”

“Honestly, the quality. I guess it’s worth not settling for gas station food.”

“Damn straight.” Lucy smirked at her. 

She quickly made her a turkey spinach wrap and loaded it with veggies. She even added her special sauce to it. She wrapped it in saran wrap and put it in a paper bag. She also quickly made her a fruit and yogurt parfait. And threw in what was left of a bag of pecans. Then she added a brownie that she planned to surprise Kate with later anyway.

“There you go.” She handed the contents to Kate. “What would you like to drink?”

“I’ve already got coffee in my truck.”

Their hands lingered as they both held the bag; Kate’s fingers brushed Lucy’s softly. Delicately. As if by accident. 

“Thank you for this.” Kate said but didn’t move away. 

Lucy stepped closer and smiled at her. “Of course, happy to help.”

Kate’s smile seemed to falter, so Lucy stepped back imperceptibly.

“I am sorry I can’t stay.”

“Kate, I understand. Work calls.”

Kate shook her head. “No, I don’t just mean that I’m sorry to cancel. I’m actually disappointed that we have to cut our visit short.”

Lucy nodded. She appreciated that these visits seemed to mean as much to Kate as they did to her.

“That’s okay, we still have Thursday.”

Kate grimaced. “Actually, I’m working through Thursday.” Then her features grew shy, as she ducked her head. She took a few steps away and used her free hand to tuck a fallen piece of hair behind her ear. “I have Friday off though. I’m planning to come to trivia night. It was meant to be a surprise…but I didn’t want you to think that I was making excuses and canceling on you again.”

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?! That’s awesome, Kate. I’m so excited for you to meet everyone. They’re going to love you.”

Lucy’s enthusiasm seemed to have the opposite effect on Kate. She quickly closed the distance between them and rested her hand on Kate’s bicep. Her very firm and strong bicep. 

Before she could distract herself with Kate’s impeccable arms, she gave her her most reassuring smile. “I’m serious. You’ll be fine. It’ll be fun. I promise.”

Kate licked her lips and nodded as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she still looked slightly terrified. “My friend Jane is planning on crashing with me. I’ll be staying at her house so she’s giving me a ride and insists on coming with me. She lives about thirty-five minutes from here.”

Lucy beamed brighter. She couldn’t wait to meet Kate’s friend. She hoped that knowing Jane and seeing them interact would help shine some light on the way Kate interacted with her. 

“Perfect. The more the merrier. It’s also family friendly. Jesse’s bringing his kids. I don’t know if Jane has any, but if she does…”

Kate smiled at her, genuinely this time. “She does. And she’ll really love to hear that. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

They stood together wordlessly for a little bit before Kate’s eyes widened. “I really have to go.”

“Right, I don’t want to keep you here. Wouldn’t want you to be late. I know what a stickler you are for punctuality and rules and all that stuff.”

Kate chuckled at that and rolled her eyes. “Right.”

Lucy walked Kate out of the kitchen and to the front door. Then she went with her instincts and against self-preservation and hugged Kate tightly. Kate seemed surprised at first, but recovered admirably. She hugged her back with her one free arm as best as she could.

“See you at trivia night.”

She watched Kate walk away from her. She waited for her to climb up in her big red truck and couldn’t help thinking how effortless she made it look. 

Lucy was restless the next few days and distracted for her standing Bubble Tea date with Ernie.

“Still not getting enough sleep because a certain tall, blonde friend of yours is keeping you up?” He asked as he took a loud slurp of his tea through his straw.

“She is my friend. And actually, she’s not coming tonight and didn’t stay long on Tuesday, so I slept fine.”

Not quite fine. More like barely adequately. And even then that was a stretch.

“Oh really? Trouble in paradise?” Ernie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“We’re friends, Ernie. That’s it. Okay?”

Her tone was biting and she felt bad for inflicting it on him, but at least he seemed to get the hint and backed down.

“I’m just worried about you, Lucy. I know you said she’s different from the others and I believe that she isn’t using you or intentionally hurting you…but you’re going to get hurt here. You do see that, right? You like her. We all know it, so there’s no use denying it. Not to us. But if she doesn’t feel the same, maybe you should…I don’t know, take a break for a little while. You can step away and get some space so that you can get over this crush you have on her and move on. Maybe go on a date or something just to distance yourself. To strengthen the boundaries…friendship is a two-way street just like any other relationship and I’m worried that you’re giving everything you have to this and she’s not.”

“You don’t know her, Ernie. She’s not taking advantage of me. She’s been a great friend.”

“Okay. I just want to make sure that you’re taking care of your heart here, Lucy. You deserve the world. And you deserve someone who understands that and wants to give it to you.”

She knew he was coming from a place of love and he wanted what was best for her. And he was right about some things, but it wasn’t Kate’s fault that Lucy had trouble not blurring the lines and was crushing on her friend. Why should Kate get punished for Lucy’s inability to keep her own heart safe?

“Ernie, I have to tell you something and you have to promise to behave. Okay?”

He perked up like he was just asked to hack into the Federal Reserve. “Cross my heart.”

“She’s coming to our trivia night tomorrow. She’s already super nervous and she’s bringing a local friend with her, so please tone it down a bit. No giving her the third degree. And help me keep Jesse in check, because you know he’ll be grilling her if we don’t. I don’t want to scare her off. Instruct everyone to treat her like just another one of us. Just a friend. No jokes about my crush or acting like she’s a girlfriend you have to threaten not to hurt me. None of that.”

He nodded solemnly as he accepted this sacred duty.

She was full of anxiety when Friday afternoon rolled around. Part of her kept expecting Kate to chicken out and call it all off. Part of her wanted Kate to do that. She loved her friends, but she wasn’t sure she trusted them to behave tonight. She trusted Heather, because Heather was awesome. But the rest of them she needed to keep a sharp eye on.

Their trivia night was in full swing by the time she noticed Kate and Jane and Jane’s two kids walk through the doors. She watched them take in their surroundings. Even from here she could tell Kate was nervous. She looked like Bambi just entering the forest during hunting season. The thought made her glance around at her friends. Okay, that wasn’t much of a stretch. Kate was certainly the prey and she was surrounded by people who may not be subtle when demanding their pound of flesh. Lucy frowned at herself. She needed to give her friends more credit. They were her favorite people in the universe and she knew they were good and meant well. Besides, Kate was tough and she could handle herself just fine. Plus, she brought her own back-up, she didn’t need Lucy to fret over her like she was some lost puppy.

Lucy stood up to greet them properly as they made their way over to them.

“Hi! You made it!” Lucy welcomed her with a hug that Kate easily returned. Then she glanced at Jane. “You had to talk her off the ledge, right? That’s why you’re late. I promised her that my friend’s aren’t too terrifying.”

Jane laughed easily even as Kate pouted in the most adorable way.

“It took some convincing…and a lot of negotiating.” Jane held out her hand. “Lucy, I presume. I’m Jane and these are my kids, Alex and Julie.”

Lucy shook Jane’s hand and directed her attention to the kids. “Alex, Gracie is around here somewhere, she’s about your age. I can introduce you if you’d like. Unless you want to spend the night watching me kick your mom’s butt in trivia.”

Alex smirked at her. “That sounds very tempting, but I want to look around a bit, this place is really cool.”

“Thanks. There’s food. The whole counter is filled with a bunch of snacks. Be sure to help yourself.”

His eyes lit up at that. “I will. Thanks.”

She watched him go and then noticed the raised eyebrow Jane directed at her. “You think you’ll beat me in trivia so easily?”

Lucy shrugged. “I hope you’re good. I wouldn’t mind some competition.” Julie giggled and Lucy smiled at her. “Come on, I’ll show you where the other kids are. And the best snacks.” Then she leaned down and stage whispered, “And the best seat to watch me win.”

Kate kept pace with them and walked beside Lucy, while Jane wandered off by herself. Their hands brushed once and then again, so Lucy glanced up at Kate to try to see if it was intentional. Kate looked nervous—still a bit scared. She wrung out her hands as she walked beside Lucy as if trying to coax herself into being less terrified of the entire situation.

“We’ve barely started the game, you and Jane can be on the same team if you want.” Lucy told her as she weaved the three of them through the crowd and waved her friends off letting them know she’d be right back and introduce them properly in a minute. 

Kate smirked at her. “I didn’t realize how competitive you are. You do know that I was on quiz bowl in high school and college.”

Lucy stilled and looked at her. “I didn’t know that.”

Kate seemed to gain some confidence now as she stood straighter. She raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you worried now?”

“No. I picked the questions.” Lucy commented as she tried to keep a straight face.

Kate’s mouth dropped open in shock and her eyebrows furrowed together. “You can’t do that. That’s cheating.”

Julie giggled again. “She’s teasing, Kate.”

Kate blushed and continued walking again. “I knew that.”

Lucy leaned down and whispered to Julie. “Sure she did.”

Julie smiled at her. Lucy was always good with kids. Kids were easy. They said what was on their mind. They didn’t sugarcoat things to save your feelings or your pride. They were fun. And as energetic as she was, usually.

“Alright, here we are.” Lucy said when she arrived in front of Jake and Amanda. 

They were right where she assumed they’d be; by the pinball machine. Julie looked to be smack dab in the middle of them age-wise, which was perfect. They were currently wrapping up a conversation about Pokemon that Lucy had had with them several times before.

“I agree with you, Jake. Why wouldn’t you evolve to Raichu? It makes sense to me.”

He beamed at her. “Hey Lucy!”

“Hi Lucy.” Amanda greeted her happily as well. 

She had seen them earlier in the evening, but once they started trivia, if the kids decided not to play, they tended to find their own thing to do. Usually, it was playing with the pinball machine. She bought it just for them—so that they’d have something to do when they stopped by the diner. She also kept the jukebox loaded with their favorite songs as they changed from week to week. When she said she spoiled them, she hadn’t been exaggerating.

“Guys, this is Julie. Julie, these are my best buds, Jake and Amanda.”

They excitedly showed Julie the pinball machine and Lucy felt accomplished. Everyone was off mingling and enjoying themselves. 

She and Kate walked back toward the others. 

“They adore you.” Kate told her fondly.

“I bought their love.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Right. I’m sure that’s all it is. You have a way of making everyone feel like they’re special to you.”

“They are.”

“Even your customers? I’ll bet you call everyone sweetheart, right?”

Lucy laughed. “Sometimes. If I think it’ll go over well. Not if it’s some dude who’s already hit on me multiple times.”

She was amused when Kate frowned and practically growled, so she changed the subject back to safer topics.

“I plan to get one of those retro arcade games next. You remember those when we were kids? Mortal Kombat was my favorite. But I found a really cool race car game online. Like the whole chair and steering wheel thing.”

“For the diner?”

Lucy nodded. “The pinball machine was mostly for the Boone kids, but it’s been a hit with all my customers since I got it. It’s perfect for when kids start acting up or get restless while their parents are still eating. It’s been a lifesaver.”

“I honestly never noticed it before. The first day I came in to clean up, I walked right past it.”

“You seemed a bit frazzled that day.”

“I overslept during my afternoon nap so I was running late. Then I drove around trying to find a restaurant that was open but everything was closed for miles, until your diner. I was so exhausted and frustrated but so relieved, especially since I had driven far enough to make up on time and just wanted to eat and try to grab another hour or so of sleep before driving to Jane’s facility to unload.”

“You overslept? That doesn’t sound like you.”

Kate huffed out a breath. “My stupid phone decided to run an update and then restart. My alarm never went off. It threw my whole schedule off which frustrated me and made me a bit…overwhelmed.”

“That sucks.”

Kate gave her a crooked smile and shrugged. “I don’t know. It seemed to work out all right.”
Lucy wouldn’t let herself swoon. Nope. She was a rational adult, not a cheap, romance novel heroine. But that smile did things to her. Non-platonic things.

“Well, we should stop delaying the inevitable and introduce you to everyone.” 

As they approached, they saw that Jane was already laughing and talking with the others. 

“Of course, she fits right in. She’s perfect.” Kate breathed out sounding a bit jealous. Or maybe envious.

“Hey, you’ll fit in, too.” Lucy assured her.

“Look who finally decided to join us.” Jane announced and gave Kate a look that Lucy couldn’t decipher.

“Everyone, this is Kate. Kate, this is everyone.” Lucy gestured.

“What kind of introduction is that?” Ernie asked as he stood up and offered his hand to Kate. “I’m Ernie. I’m sure you’ve heard about me.”

“I have. And some of the things were even nice.” Kate commented back with a smirk.

Ernie’s eyebrows rose dramatically and then he smiled in response. “Lucy didn’t tell me you were funny.”

Kate directed her attention to Lucy. “You left out my best quality? Then what did you tell them about me?”

Lucy listened in shock. This was a Kate she only rarely saw glimpses of. Cocky and confident Kate. This Kate was sexy as hell. But also, not at all the Kate she expected to see tonight. Or the one she had to comfort a few minutes ago.

Jesse and Jane barked out with laughter. Ernie joined in. 

“Okay. I approve.” Heather said with a smile and raised her glass to ‘cheers’ them.

Lost among the chatter that immediately erupted around them, Lucy turned to Kate and tugged her hand until Kate bent down a bit. 

“Where did that confidence come from? You looked close to running out the door earlier.”

Kate shrugged. “Fake it till you make it, right?”

Lucy softened her gaze and stepped closer to her. “You don’t have to pretend with them, or with me, Kate. Just be yourself. I promise that’s enough.”

Kate’s face cycled through so many micro emotions so rapidly that Lucy couldn’t interpret any of them.

“Thank you.” Kate said and squeezed her hand.

Lucy expected her to let go after that, but she held Lucy’s hand as they settled in and chatted with the group. Everyone asked Kate questions that she answered easily. No one was out of line or asked anything embarrassing. Kate and Kai eventually fell into a conversation of their own when Kate told them about Noah being in the service and being stationed in Hawai’i. Eventually, they all decided to resume playing the game and resorted the teams. It was only after they got separated into different teams that Kate let go of Lucy’s hand. And Lucy spent the rest of the night trying not to dwell on it or what it meant. 

Lucy was competitive, but she didn’t hold a candle to Kate. The game grew heated and remained close. With Ernie on Kate’s team and Jane, who was very knowledgeable, on Lucy’s team; it was anyone’s game. 

As the night wore on, and their excited answers grew into screams of dominance, they drew the attention of the kids who watched in amusement and cheered for their own respective parents. Chase was the chosen moderator for the night which made things interesting when she descended into adding anecdotes from her misadventures after every answer was given. Lucy used those moments to steal glances at Kate. She looked happy. And relaxed. Most of all, she looked like she belonged here, with them. As a part of Lucy’s life. Her family. Kate met Lucy’s eyes and smiled at her. Then she nodded her head toward the snack counter. Lucy got up and walked over there as Kate did the same.

“You’re having fun.” Lucy stated.

“I am. So much more than I hoped I would.”

“I’m glad.” Lucy smiled at her. “And I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.”

They stood together in a comfortable silence as the world moved on without them. They were distracted by a loud cheer and saw Jane and Heather high five each other before Jane clapped Kai on his back happily.

“We missed the end of the game.” Lucy said. Usually, that would have upset her. Usually, she cared more about winning.

“We did.”

“I won.” Lucy smirked at her and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

Kate laughed and shook her head. “Your team won. You’re over here with me. I think that’s a forfeit.”

“You cheated!”

“All’s fair in love and trivia.”

Lucy should have been annoyed that Kate kept bringing that up to mess with her—throwing her own words in her face like that. But it felt intimate in a way. To keep bringing up love even in such an unrelated context. 

Lucy let herself relax and enjoy this. Enjoy Kate’s good mood. Her proximity. Her teasing. She leaned back against the counter and watched her friends.

“You know, Jesse warned me about your driving. He said to never let you near my truck if I cared about it at all.” Kate stated as she leaned against the counter also.

“Jesse is going to get murdered in his sleep tonight.” Lucy growled. Then she looked at Kate with righteous indignation. “I’m a fine driver. I’ve never even had any tickets.”

“He said you’d say that.” Kate smirked at him.

“Oh, did he?”

“Yup. And he told me to tell you that just because you’ve been lucky enough to not get caught yet, that doesn’t mean you’re a good driver.”

Lucy frowned. Then her eyes widened and she turned to better face Kate. “He didn’t mean anything by it. I’m really not that bad, he just doesn’t like riding with me because once I purposely drove over all the speedbumps in a parking lot just to piss him off because he was annoying me.”

Kate licked her lips and her eyes flitted all over Lucy’s face before she met her eyes. “I can take a joke, Lucy. And I think it’s funny that he teases you like that. It reminds me of how Noah and I are together. I never read more into it. It didn’t give me flashbacks to my parents or anything, okay? I think it’s sweet that you’re concerned about me and my feelings like that. But I’m not as fragile as you seem to think I am.”

Lucy swallowed harshly and worked to keep her breathing from becoming too labored since Kate had unknowingly gotten so much closer to her as she spoke. Kate seemed to notice it when she did, because she quickly took a large step back.

“Sorry.” Kate said sheepishly.

“No, I’m sorry. I know you’re strong. And that you can take care of yourself and that you don’t need me to be so protective of you.”

“It’s kind of nice though. To know that you have my back. That I’m not so alone anymore. It’s unnecessary, but nice.”

“Noted.”

Kai interrupted them by putting an arm around Lucy and leaning into her. “Hey, I’m going to head out a little early tonight, but I wanted to say goodbye.”

“What? Why?” Lucy wondered as she directed all of her attention to him.

“You know that girl I’ve been talking to…?”

“From Fish and Wildlife?”

“That’s the one. Her name is Melanie. I finally asked her out, and she said yes. We’re going out to The Arboretum tomorrow, which will be a drive. It’s something she’s been wanting to do, so if all goes well we can make a day of it. I was thinking about packing us a picnic and we can eat outside after walking around White Rock Lake a bit.”

“That sounds perfect, Kai. She’ll love it!” She hugged him. “I’m so excited for you. You have to tell me everything. I mean it, everything. All the flowers you see, and the mansions, and what snacks you bring, what you talk about. Everything. ”

He grinned at her. “You got it, boss.” He even gave her a mini salute. Then he turned to Kate. “It was nice to meet you, Whistler. If you ever want to talk about military stuff, surfing or Hawai’i again, you know where to find me.”

“I will. Mahalo, Kai. It was great to meet you, too.”

He took his leave and Lucy turned to Kate with a raised eyebrow. “So…you’re back to Whistler again?”

“No, not officially. It’s been nice just being Kate. But I think Kai prefers the surname thing, I know Noah has gotten used to it. That’s how they are used to referring to people, and I kind of like that he wants to call me by my last name. It feels like it’s his way of connecting with me. Of showing me respect.”

Lucy hadn’t thought about it that way. But it made sense. And she was glad that it seemed to make both of them happy.

Their night wound down after that. It went far better than even Lucy could have hoped for. She exchanged numbers with Jane while Kate excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“I’m serious, you need to come again. Not just to trivia night, but during the daytime. I’ll even cook you something off the menu. Or Kai can, if you prefer to have a small taste of Hawai’i.”

Lucy told Jane.

“That sounds fantastic actually. I’ll be in touch next week and we can set something up.” Then she hugged her. “It was really lovely to meet you, Lucy.”

“You, too. See you soon.”

Kate approached them looking back and forth between the two as if trying to figure something out.

“Relax, I didn’t say anything to embarrass you.” Jane said as she gestured for her kids to join them. “Thanks again for tonight, Lucy. It was a lot of fun.”

“Thanks, Lucy.” Julie said and hugged her goodbye.

Lucy caught the way that both Kate’s and Jane’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the embrace.

“See ya.” Alex announced quietly beside them.

He walked out the door, then Julie and Jane followed.

“So…” Lucy drew out.

“So…” Kate repeated.

“I’m really glad you made it, Kate. It was worth missing our bi-weekly visits.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah, it was nice. It was better than I expected.” Her eyes widened. “Not that I expected it to be horrible.”

“I know.”

They stood awkwardly, once again the only two people in the entire place. Only tonight it felt different. Like something had changed. Or shifted between them. Like maybe they had changed.

“Maybe you can do it again some time. I know that it’s not ideal and that it wasn’t your choice to change up your schedule like that, but if it ever happens again and you’re down here on a Friday night, please come.”

Kate glanced away distractedly and then back to meet Lucy’s eyes. “I canceled my Albuquerque run. I was practically losing money on it anyway. So I was trying to rearrange my schedule. I sort of, maybe, planned to be off today so I could come tonight. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. And to see what you were like with your friends. It was worth it. But I have a lot of extra work ahead of me now, so I probably won’t do it again any time soon.”

Lucy was flattered that she even tried to make it work and she understood how hard it was for her to make up the extra work now. 

“I appreciate that you made the effort, Kate. Now I’m even more relieved that you had a good time.”

She heard honking in the distance and chuckled when she heard Kate curse under her breath.

“Jane is the worst.”

“She’s pretty awesome. And she thinks the world of you.” Lucy told her as she hugged her. “See you next week.”

“You too.” Kate hugged her back and then walked out the door.

*****

Lucy was glad for the distraction of the Boone family on Sunday. She had spent the entirety of her Saturday replaying everything that happened with Kate on Friday. Something seemed to have shifted with Kate that night, she just wasn’t sure what it meant. She had trouble reconciling the fact that she was entirely aware that Kate was attracted to her with their deepening friendship; which would have, under other circumstances, seemed to be leading somewhere specific. Somewhere Lucy absolutely wanted to move towards. But the knowledge of Kate’s refusal to date kept confusing her. It was like a wrecking ball to all the fantasies she had started to build in her head about the two of them. She couldn’t get out of her own head, which was why she had been looking forward to today more than usual.

She played a game of ultimate frisbee with the Boone clan. Then Jesse barbequed lunch for them. Soon, they’d retire inside to watch the Dallas Cowboys play. It was their typical Sunday routine, and Lucy as always loved every minute of it. She was able to focus on them, for the most part, and only thought of Kate a few (dozen) times.

As she and Heather picked up the dishes from the backyard and brought them to the kitchen, they conversed lightly.

“Kate and Jane seemed to fit right in with our group.” Heather commented. “You always have a knack for bringing in the best people, myself included obviously.”

Lucy smiled at her. “Oh, you’re still my favorite, don’t worry.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” Heather replied mirthfully.

Lucy opened her mouth to argue when Jesse made his presence known. “She’s talking about a tall, blonde that we both happen to know.”

Heather and Jesse shared a look and Lucy huffed as she rolled her eyes. “This was planned. You two are tag teaming me….about Kate?”

Jesse shrugged. “I know you said that you wouldn’t risk anything with her because she isn’t the dating kind…” He glanced at Heather again before he continued, “But we think you should rethink that?”

“My feelings about the matter haven’t changed, Jesse. We don’t want the same things, so it won’t work.”

Heather rested a hand on Lucy’s shoulder calmly. “That’s the part we think you should rethink. Are you positive Kate isn’t interested in dating you?”

Lucy frowned.

“She just doesn’t seem the type to be…you know, a player. Or whatever. She seemed different to how you described her,” Jesse said.

“Good different.” Heather reiterated. “She’s cool and sweet and funny just like you said. But, I don’t know, I think that maybe you should talk to her properly. What if she made a comment early on that you misread or something?”

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows in contemplation. Was she wrong? Could Kate be interested in her for more than just sex? And if she wasn’t, what was Lucy willing to endure for her? Because it was clear she was not at all equipped to be her own voice of reason when it came to Kate Whistler.

“At least, promise us you’ll think about it, Luce.” Jesse said as his voice softened. “We both just really want you to be happy.”

“And from what we could see…Kate makes you really happy,” Heather added.

Well, damn. If they could see it, then maybe she wasn’t being as subtle as she had thought. 

KCKCKCKCKC

Kate had been looking forward to this night since Friday. She could only see Lucy once this week, and it was on Wednesday instead of their regular Tuesday standing date. She hated to admit how excited she was or how many questions had been floating through her mind about them since trivia night. It had been a great night. One of the best Kate had had in a long time. She even happily endured the third degree she got from Jane on the drive home. Jane didn’t believe they were just friends before she met Lucy, and now since seeing the way Kate was with her, Jane refused to believe that Kate wasn’t withholding pertinent information from her. Kate relented and admitted that she didn’t have a clue what was going on herself or how she felt. She promised that when she figured it out, she’d talk to her about it. That seemed to finally appease her friend. And she had to admit that it might be nice to have someone to talk through things with since she was so obtuse about the whole having actual feelings and emotions thing.

Tonight, they ate chili and as usual it was truly remarkable. 

“I’d ask for this recipe, but I don’t think I could do it justice. This is outstanding.”

“I won a local as well as the Dallas Chili Cook Off with that recipe three years in a row. Still reigning champion actually.”

“That’s hot.” Kate’s eyes widened. “This. This is hot.”

Lucy frowned. “Like temperature wise or too spicy?”

Kate blew into her bowl for show. “Not burn the roof of your mouth hot, I just…I took a big bite. It was my fault.”

Lucy nodded and continued to eat another spoonful of her own chili. 

“So…how’d you get into the trucking business? You never said.”

“It’s something Noah and I always wanted to do together. I guess it’s my way of honoring that dream. Of still feeling close to him. We talked about the truck thing when we were kids. But he decided that he wanted to make a career out of the military. But he used a few connections, military and otherwise, to help me out. Jane was his former lieutenant.”

“Oh, I wondered how you knew her. I thought it was just through work.”

Kate shook her head. “I’ve known her for years, but we’ve only gotten closer since I started running shipments for her. She got out of the service and started her own business in textiles. She’s been quite successful and very helpful in getting me started on my own. Before that, I drove for a company in Chicago. I did a lot of longer runs and was gone for weeks at a time.  But now, most of my runs are down this way, thanks to Jane. She’s been trying to get me to do smaller runs for her. Daily routes. The whole nine to five thing.”

“What about our midnight dinners?” Lucy asked casually.

Kate’s heart beat rapidly in her chest. Our. Did Lucy count these moments as dates as well? Kate wasn’t sure when she started referring to them as such in her head, but she found herself wanting them to be. She hadn’t dated much in the past so she wasn’t sure if this was what dating someone could be like. Either way, it was something she looked forward to every time.

“I could actually come during peak business hours and watch you in your element.” Kate offered and oddly found herself liking the thought of it.

“The dinner rush is intense here. We wouldn’t have a chance to talk like this.” 

Lucy frowned and Kate found herself mirroring her. She would miss this. Their special time. 

“If I chose to do that, I’d probably end up having to move down here. Otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it.”

“Oh. That would make more sense.” Lucy’s frown quickly vanished as she sat up straighter. “Are you considering it?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

She had never even given it a second thought before. But the way that Lucy smiled at her; the way that she seemed intrigued by that prospect actually made her wonder if it were something she would enjoy. If it was something she might rethink later. She needed to be rational about it. She already mentally started planning out her pros and cons list.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask, did you have a good time last Friday? I know I get a bit competitive and my friends are a bit…much.” Lucy wondered as she gratefully guided the conversation away from the landmines riddled around them that Kate somehow seemed dead set on steering them into.

Kate found herself smiling at the memory. “I had a great time.”

“And Jane’s pretty fantastic. She said she’s going to try to bring her kids here for dinner sometime in the next couple of weeks.”

Kate’s eyes widened in abject horror. What fresh hell did Jane have planned for her by going to Lucy’s diner without her? Kate didn’t want Jane to interfere or say anything to embarrass or incriminate her. She was completely adept at doing those things on her own, honestly.

“That’s…great.” She forced out the response with a grimace that she hoped passed for a smile.

“It is, right?!” 

Lucy looked so genuinely happy that Kate had a hard time not being happy for her. Maybe letting her worlds continue to collide wouldn’t be a horrible disaster. She listened to Lucy as she flitted excitedly from one topic to the next. She asked Kate about her week and listened intently as Kate talked about the different places she’d been. Lucy asked about Noah and Kate chatted happily about her brother. 

When Lucy went back to talking again, Kate couldn’t help being distracted by her mouth—her lips—as she spoke. Then she got distracted by all the things she wanted that mouth to do to her. All the places she wanted Lucy to touch her. Kate grew hot as the images invaded her mind. She needed to focus. She needed to be a proper friend and not some horny pervert. She got used to saving those fantasies for her alone time in her truck. 

Kate licked her lips at the most recent memory of that alone time and then returned her attention to her soup to distract herself from her distraction. She gulped down a huge mouthful. “It’s not too hot anymore. It’s just right.” She commented after seeing the strange look Lucy gave her.

Lucy rolled her eyes and smiled at her. “Whatever you say, Goldilocks.”

Kate fell strangely quiet during the rest of their time together that night. Not because she wasn’t enjoying herself, but because of how much she found that she was enjoying herself. She’d only get to spend tonight with Lucy this week, because it was a shorter week than usual and a quick turnaround. But it was worth it because she had a really great time with Lucy on Friday. With Jane, too, and with all of Lucy’s friends. But mostly, it was because of Lucy and she knew it.

******

She parked her semi in the proper lot and was the first to arrive on site early the next morning as she waited for them to be ready for her. She was usually unloaded and reloaded and back on the road toward home by seven in the morning. Home. No place had ever truly felt like home since she lost her parents. Noah had tried his best and she felt at home with him. But home was never a place for Kate. She wasn’t ever overly excited to return to Chicago for her day off. She felt less at home there as she did in her semi truck. Her truck had a mattress, some books, and her free weights so she could stay in shape. As far as Kate was concerned, that was all she really needed. Ideally, she would be close to the water so she could surf more. But otherwise, she didn’t really have much to complain about.

When they radioed her dock number, she pulled her truck up to the proper loading dock. Then she grabbed her paperwork and hopped out of her cab. She walked into the lobby to drop off her paperwork, refilled her thermos with coffee and went off in search of Jane. This was typically her Friday routine as she waited to be unloaded and reloaded. But today was an exception.

Jane ran a tight ship, which was something Kate admired about her. So she knew right where to find her this time of day no matter the day—already in her office, likely having put an hour or two already on the clock this morning.

“Knock, knock,” Kate said unnecessarily.

Jane looked up from her computer and smiled at her in greeting. “Don’t you look extra chipper this morning. And don’t say it’s the coffee, I know it sucks here. I’ve been working on fixing that.”

Kate smiled and took a seat across from Jane. “It’s not the coffee.”

“Then it’s the girl.”

“What? How is that your next logical step?”

Jane gave her The Eyebrow. Patent pending. “So, I’m wrong and you didn’t spend your night at the diner with Lucy?”

Kate snapped her mouth shut.

“How is she? What’d she make you this time?”

Kate couldn’t help smiling brightly. “She’s good. We had chili. Award winning chili actually.”

“And?”

“It was very deserving of all the awards.” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “You’re being obtuse on purpose.”

“We talked because we’re friends.” She played awkwardly with her own fingers. “Friends whose hugs linger. And who sit really close together. And who exchanged numbers even though neither of us ever plans to call the other.”

“Kate?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you so scared to admit that you like her?”

“I’m not. I mean, I don’t.”

Jane stared at her. “What if she does use your number? What if she texts throughout the week while you’re running your routes?”

Kate shrugged. “I won’t text and drive. You know that I’m careful. I’m responsible.”

“Yes. And I love you for it. But that’s not what I mean. Will you respond to her texts? When it’s safe to. When you’re not driving.”

“Of course. It would be rude not to.”

“And when she starts to send you random memes. Those stupid ones you don’t like. Will you tell her not to? Like you told me?”

Kate avoided eye contact with Jane. And she refused to answer.

“Or when she lets you know which contestant should really have won a particular episode of The Great British Bake Off?”

Kate frowned and raised her eyebrow. “That’s oddly specific.”

“We’ve been texting.”

That simple statement made Kate’s chest hurt. She clenched her hands into fists. She was frustrated and…jealous. Again. 

“Speaking of that, why in hell are you going to her diner? Are you trying to embarrass me?”

“I’m certain you have no trouble doing that on your own.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I dislike you at this moment.”

“I like Lucy. She’s sweet and funny. And if she cooks half as good as you say she does, why wouldn’t I want to eat there and support my new friend?”

Kate sighed. “You promise you won’t talk about me?”

“I cannot tell a lie.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “At least…put in a good word. Like, let her know that despite her feeding me perhaps too well, I’ve been keeping up on my cardio.”

“I don’t see how that would come up in conversation naturally. Or that it should come up at all.”

“Tell her that I’m really good at Scrabble!”

“Kate, how about…if she asks, I tell her the truth. That you’re a wonderful person. That you’re smart and funny and dependable and thoughtful.”

“And that I’m good with my hands.”

Jane glared at her and Kate blushed. “I meant mechanically. I could fix her car if she ever needed it. Or change her oil for her. Maybe I should offer to do that next time.”

“Please don’t.”

Kate nodded. That was probably sage advice. Kate stood up to leave. She really just stopped in because she promised herself she would be a better friend to Jane and actually visit with her even if it wasn’t work related. 

She sat back down and Jane looked at her with confusion marring her otherwise flawless face.

“Is something wrong?”

Kate sighed. “I’m actually disappointed that I only got to see her once this week.”

“Oh.” Jane raised an eyebrow, closed the file she had just opened and gave Kate her undivided attention again.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

“Isn’t it? This can’t be normal.”

Jane’s face softened. “Kate, sweetie, it is. If you like someone, it’s normal to miss them.” 

Kate opened her mouth to argue.

Jane raised her hand to stop her. “Even with new friendships…it’s normal to like to spend a lot of time with a new person whose company you enjoy. It’s okay to explore that. Whatever it means for you.”

Kate considered her words. They made sense. Then she frowned and sighed loudly.

“I don’t think it’s normal to regularly picture your friends naked though. I’m pretty sure that that has to be some kind of…breach of ethics.”

Jane smirked at the turn of phrase. Or at least, Kate hoped that’s what she found amusing and not Kate’s actual dilemma.

“That is also something you’ll have to figure out for yourself. And eventually, when you do, then maybe talk to Lucy about it.”

Kate nodded. “Thanks. How about you? How’s your week going?”

“Well, it turns out that Julie may be a little smitten by Lucy herself. She hasn’t stopped talking about her.”

“Ooh, I honestly don’t blame her.”

“Me neither. She has good taste.”

Kate tried not to overthink that statement. 

“And Alex seems to have a crush on Jesse’s daughter, Gracie. That’s the other part of the reason I’m taking them to Lucy’s. Gracie works there a few afternoons a week and Alex keeps begging to go and see her. But like ‘casually mom. So please don’t embarrass me.’” She lowered her voice to mimic Alex at the end.

Kate chuckled. “Wow. You’re lucky he isn’t old enough to drive himself yet or you’d never see him. Enjoy this time while you can.”

“I know. I am. It’s just…I remember when I was his age and I’m not excited about what’s coming.”

“I was a model teenager. Good grades. Not problematic at all. I set my own curfew and bedtime when I was twelve. And it was far earlier than the one my parents set for Noah. I also did my homework as soon as I got home from school.”

“None of that surprises me.”

“What about you? You couldn’t have gotten into that much trouble.”

“You have no idea. There was an incident that involved a ride in the back of the police car. Mostly to scare me, not that it worked. I just got better at not getting caught.”

Kate stared at her with awe. “I should be mortified right now, but you’re sort of my hero.”

Jane smiled at her fondly. Kate wondered why they hadn’t done this sooner. She’d known Jane for years and counted her as her best friend apart from Noah. But this was the first real conversation they had ever had. In fact, the only reason Jane knew what she did about Kate’s life was because of Noah. That’s how she learned about their parents as well. Kate had unintentionally kept her at a distance all these years. And the worst part was that she wasn’t even sure why. 

“I’m glad we’re friends, Jane,” Kate admitted.

“Aww, me too, Kate.”

“I promise to be a better one from now on.”

“Kate…”

“No, you don’t have to say it. I know it’s true. But this was nice. Today, just talking. I’d like to do more of that.”

“So would I.”

Kate took her leave then and walked to her truck feeling like her entire world had changed. She felt lighter somehow. She wasn’t sure why, but part of her knew she had Lucy to thank for a lot of it. She had a way of opening her up and exposing the raw bits in a way that wasn’t painful or terrifying—but in a way that just…was.

KCKCKCKCKC

Lucy was pleasantly surprised when Jane and the kids walked through the door late Monday afternoon. She had invited the other woman over here, and they had texted multiple times since they met. Plus, Jane had seemed sincerely excited when Lucy gave her a few new recipes to try. But she still hadn’t expected her to actually come, and definitely not so soon.

“Hey!” Lucy greeted her happily. She went in for the hug and Jane easily returned it. “Hi, Julie and Alex.”

Julie grinned at her and returned her greeting but Alex seemed otherwise preoccupied. 

Jane bumped him with her shoulder and he seemed to snap to attention. “Sorry. Hi, Lucy.”

Lucy raised a questioning eyebrow at Jane.

“He’s looking for Gracie,” she explained.

Alex’s eyes widened. “‘No, I’m not.”

Lucy smiled at him sympathetically. “Her shift doesn’t start for another half an hour.”

He seemed a bit bummed out but tried to hide it with a shrug. He walked across the diner to an empty table as the rest of them followed behind.

“Pretty sure it’s his first crush,” Jane commented. “Or at least, the first one I’m aware of.”

Lucy nodded in understanding. “I remember mine all too well. Taylor Madison in fourth grade.”

Jane glanced at Julie strangely for a brief moment. Julie seemed to be listening to them intently but didn’t respond at all.

“Mine was Nick Cole. Senior year. Of college ” She emphasized the obvious lie and Lucy smirked when Julie rolled her eyes.

Lucy leaned into Jane and whispered. “Very subtle, mom.”

Jane smiled at her as she sat down next to Alex. Julie sat across from them. 

“Are you able to join us, Lucy?” Julie asked hopefully.

Lucy looked from Julie to Jane. “Oh, I wasn’t planning on it. I thought this was a family outing.”

“It is. But we specifically came here to see you, so if you have some time we would love for you to join us.” Jane told her.

Lucy looked at the clock. “Kai is still here for another hour before I have to take over the kitchen. As soon as I finish up my other tables, I’ll stop over for a bit.”

Jane nodded and both she and Julie looked properly appeased.

Lucy took their orders a few minutes later, and then when the time came to bring them their food, she made herself a quick salad and joined them. They ate happily in silence for a bit before conversation started to flow easily. They talked about mundane things for a while. Work. Sports. Alex started that topic. He played baseball. He and Lucy bonded over both being football fans. Julie told Lucy about a dance recital she was getting ready for that was a month away and asked Lucy to attend. Lucy readily agreed.

When Gracie walked in a while later, Alex’s eyes followed her as she flitted about from table to table.

“I think we officially lost him.” Jane stage whispered and Lucy and Julie laughed. 

Alex was completely oblivious and, a few minutes later, excused himself. “I’m going to go…play pinball.”

The fact that the pinball machine was right next to the recently vacated table Gracie was cleaning was probably just a coincidence.

“Why don’t you go with him, Julie.” Jane said, which made both kids look equally disappointed.

But they listened to her without argument and soon Lucy and Jane were left alone.

“So, Lucy…” Jane raised an eyebrow and Lucy was as intimidated as she was intrigued by her.

“Yes?”

“I happened to see the diner’s hours posted on your menu.”

Lucy nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“You close at 11:30.” It was a statement that felt like an interrogation.

“I do.” Lucy swallowed hard.

“I happen to know that Kate doesn’t get here until after midnight.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “I can explain!” And she rambled on feeling like a kid whose hand just got caught in the cookie jar. “That first night…she was so frazzled. She looked lost and anxious and just so relieved that I was open. Which was a whole thing with another customer.” She waved that off and continued explaining herself. “So I let her stay. I fed her and we talked. It was nice. I didn’t plan on it being a thing, so I didn’t want to embarrass her by telling her I was closed.”

Jane nodded. “I understand that. And that’s very sweet of you. But what about these months since?”

Lucy blew out a lungful of air in defeat. “It was one mistake…that sort of snowballed, I guess. When she planned to come back, I didn’t correct her when she assumed that the same time would be fine. And then, well, then it just kept happening and I didn’t know how to tell her without making it this huge thing.” Lucy glanced up at Jane and looked properly contrite. “Are you mad?”

Jane’s face softened. “I have no right to be. But you should tell her.”

“She’ll feel bad!”

“Only for a little while.”

Lucy deflated. 

“Lucy, she won’t be mad. Mildly embarrassed maybe. Mostly flattered that you kept the diner open just to spend time with her.”

Lucy’s eyes widened and her face went white. She absolutely didn’t want Kate knowing that part. It made her look pathetic. Her crush was already out of her control. It had quickly escalated far past something so innocent and veered into more dangerous territory. Territory where actual feelings were involved.

She was startled when Jane reached out for her hand. “I won’t tell her. But maybe, one of these days, you should. I’m sure you both could benefit from clearing the air.”

Lucy had a strong sense that Jane wasn’t just talking about the diner’s hours of operation, but rather about all of it. About the ‘falling for her new friend’ aspect of it.

She bit her lip and looked away as she nodded. “Yeah…maybe.” She looked back. “Someday. I’m just not ready yet.”

When Jane squeezed her hand, she knew that they were having the same conversation. That Jane knew what she was trying to tell her. And it sort of felt like she approved of it. Of her.

*******

It was seven o’clock in the evening on Tuesday. Lucy was just finishing up with the dinner rush when Chase walked towards her carrying Lucy’s ringing phone. 

“It’s Kate.”

Lucy mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her as she grabbed her phone and answered it immediately. She walked toward her office as she did so.

“Kate? I was wondering if you’d ever actually use my number after I gave it to you.” Lucy greeted with a smirk.

“I may be mistaken, but I believe phones work both ways. You could have called me as well. Or texted.”

“Touché.” Lucy closed her office door and sat down at her desk. It was a mess, something she knew Kate would comment on if she could see it, so she tidied it up distractedly. “Not that I’m complaining, but why the call when I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“That’s why I’m calling actually. I’m having minor mechanical issues. I just finished fixing them but it set me back a few hours. I won’t be able to make it for dinner tonight. And if I push myself a little bit more than usual, I should be able to stay on schedule and not miss any of my scheduled drop-offs or pick-ups.”

“Be careful, Kate. Don’t overdo it. I’m sure they’d understand if you were a little late at a stop or two.”

She wasn’t actually sure of that at all. She didn’t know the inner workings of the trucking business, but she hoped that people wouldn’t be complete assholes about something that was beyond Kate’s control. 

“I know my limits, Lucy. I’ll be fine. I missed my afternoon nap working on the truck. But I also missed rush hour. So I can drive for a few hours to make up some time. Get to bed extra early tonight and get some decent sleep in and then start an hour or two early tomorrow and I’ll be back on track. It’s not the end of the world. I only have to make up a few hours so it’s very doable. I’m just bummed that I’ll be missing our date.”

Lucy knew that she didn’t mean date date. Kate was just referring to their standing plans. It was the proper word to use in this situation. It was logical and rational. Just like Kate.

And yet, her heart rate picked up and she found that her breathing became labored. All because of a stupid word that had multiple meanings, one of which thoroughly excited her. 

“It’s okay.” 

It was okay because it wasn’t like Kate was canceling on her. This was beyond her control. But it was still disappointing. She looked forward to their time together. Last week she only saw her once and she missed her terribly. This week would be the same. One night a week with Kate Whistler wasn’t enough. She was beginning to realize that she could spend everyday with her and it still wouldn’t feel like it was enough. 

Lucy exhaled shakily. She was finally ready to admit to herself just how far she had fallen for Kate. And just how hard.

“It’s not though. I don’t like to cancel plans I make with people.” Kate said forcefully before she added hesitantly. “And I was looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

“Anyway, I need to get back on the road, but I wanted to make sure to call you and let you know that I’m not able to make it tonight, but that I’m safe. So don’t worry about me.”

“I always worry.”

She heard the hitch in Kate’s breath and prayed that Kate hadn’t heard hers earlier. “I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me worrying.”

She heard Kate chuckle and imagined feeling her warm breath on her neck as she held her. Lucy relished their embraces. She was less hesitant about her casual touches these days because Kate seemed to enjoy them, too. And yeah, maybe Kate was still touch deprived and lonely. But maybe that wasn’t the only reason she allowed Lucy to touch her.

“I can start texting you. When I pull off to sleep each afternoon. That way you can know I made it to each destination safely,” Kate offered.

“I’d like that.”

“Okay. I’ll do that then.”

The line was silent for a couple of moments so Lucy checked to make sure the call hadn’t been disconnected. It was fine.

“Lucy?”

“Yeah?”

“You can also text me. Or call. I won’t always be able to answer right away. But I can reply when I stop for gas or grab a bite to eat.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I’ll text you. Memes probably. Or just random things that make me think of you throughout the day. If that’s okay.”

“It is. I mean…but memes? Please don’t go overboard.”

“Define overboard.”

“Lucy…” Kate growled in warning and it was hot. 

It did things to Lucy. It made her feel a lot of things.

“You have to go. I’ll text you later. Drive safe!”

“I will. See you Thursday.”

They hung up and Lucy couldn’t keep from smiling. 

She was able to pace herself and only sent Kate three memes and one thinking of you text with a picture of a freshly baked pie after she took it out of the oven.

Kate replied once. Then texted her again later in the evening stating that she arrived at her destination safely and was heading for bed. Lucy replied with a thumbs up and didn’t disturb her the rest of the night.

The next two days went by pretty much the same. Lucy texted every couple of hours. Kate replied in one bulk text. Always using full sentences and proper grammar. It was endearing and fully expected. 

KCKCKCKCKCKC

Kate had been able to make up the time and was feeling pretty good about it. She was the first one at the docks this morning as usual despite her earlier mishap. She was glad she had stopped doing the Albuquerque run. It was a lot of unnecessary miles for what only ever ended up being barely more than half a load. It wasn’t worth her time, effort or the money. She had tacked it on in the past just to stay away from home that extra two days. Chicago was a busy place full of people, but Kate knew no one there so she sat alone in her apartment and waited to go back to work again. Or at least, that was how it had been for as long as she could remember. Until now.

Kate walked into Jane’s office with barely a knock since the door was open. Jane took a sip of her coffee and smiled at Kate.

“You made it! Sorry to hear about your truck troubles.”

Kate shrugged. “My first flat tire. I feel like I’ve been properly initiated now. And I scheduled to have the truck looked at on Friday before I head home. It shouldn’t have overheated and I don’t want to take any chances before driving all the way back up to Chicago in case there’s something really wrong with it.”

“I could cancel your Friday load if you want. Give you that extra time for maintenance in case you do have an issue.”

Kate nodded. “Can we keep that flexible? I’d hate to drive all the way back with an empty truck. But yeah, I don’t want a full load sitting around if I’m stuck at the mechanic.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to my contact in Chicago and make sure they're okay with a later delivery than usual. If not, I’ll schedule someone else to drive up there.”

“Thanks.” Kate took a deep steadying breath and exhaled slowly. “I wanted to see about rearranging my schedule. I’d like to arrange some shorter daily runs around here and to end my week here instead of Chicago for a few weeks. Just to change things up a bit. See if it works out, because I’m considering moving down here.”

Jane nodded slowly at her and smirked. Kate hated that smirk when it was directed at her in a knowing way. In an ‘ I see you’ way.

“Oh, and instead of my typical one day turn around, I’d like two days off. In a row.”

“And this has nothing to do with that enthusiastic and adorable brunette firecracker we both happen to know?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You know it does. At least somewhat, but not entirely. So don’t be annoying about it.”

“Is there something that happened between the two of you that I don’t know?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “She’s all I’ve been thinking about, but no, nothing’s changed. I mean, we text each other now. But that’s not what you meant.” She sighed. She hated that her words and thoughts came out all jumbled. “I only saw her once last week, and it’ll be the same this week. And I hate those people. The clingy ones. You know, the couples who need to do everything together and talk about themselves as a unit. We think this. We think that.”

Jane raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.

“But the truth is, Jane. I do miss her. I go back to Chicago and count down the hours until I’m down here again. With her. It’s gross.”

“It isn’t. I think it’s sweet.”

“I don’t care that we’re just friends. I don’t care that lately it’s felt more like stolen moments in a torrid affair. Okay, wait, I do care about that last one. I don’t want to only have a few hours with her a couple nights a week. I like the idea of spending a boring evening playing Scrabble with her. Or cuddle on the couch while we binge The Great British Bake Off together. I want to show up at the diner during rush hour just to watch her work. And I desperately want to have sex with her.”

Jane watched her for a few moments in silent contemplation. “When did you want this new schedule of yours to start?

“Is next week too early?”

Jane looked pensive for a moment and then shook her head. “I should be able to get it to work. I actually hope you like the change, I’ve been trying to get you to take shorter routes and more time off for ages now.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll call it a trial run.”

“Call it whatever you want.” Jane typed a few things into the computer then raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. “Should I tell Lucy when I see her for trivia night on Friday?”

Kate’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“No, of course not.” Jane’s smile softened.

“Are you really going again this Friday?”

Jane nodded. “I went last week, too. Didn’t I tell you? I have a standing invitation that I’ve been maximizing. Ernie’s coming by here tomorrow to install a better security system and some specialized software. Jesse, Heather and I are planning to take the kids to a Cowboys game in a few weeks. Oh, and I went to the diner on Monday. It was very enlightening.”

Kate glared at her. She wanted to ask about it, but she also wasn’t sure she really wanted to know. She did plan to ask Lucy about it when she got the chance though. Maybe it would be better coming from her. 

Kate couldn’t help feeling jealous of the easy way Jane fit into all of their lives. The way they made plans. The way she got to see Lucy whenever she wanted to. It made her even more sure of her decision. She could have this, too. This community. This Ohana. As Kai had once called them. She wanted to fit as seamlessly into the group as Jane did.

“So, I’m really doing this.” She breathed out a few minutes later. “I’m considering moving down here. For good. It’s what I want.”

Jane beamed at her. “And I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear it. You’ll thrive down here, Kate. I can help set you up with other suppliers who do short daily runs if I can’t secure enough business for you on my own. And you can stay with me and the kids until you get settled. You have friends here, Kate. You’ll have a whole community to support you. You won’t be lonely like you were in Chicago. You won’t need to live to work anymore just to keep yourself busy and distracted from your loneliness.”

Did Jane really always see her so clearly? Why did it take her so long to see what was right in front of her? She always had people in her corner. She just tended to keep them there.

“Thank you, Jane. For this. For everything.”

“Oh, Kate, that’s what friends are for.”

Kate smiled at her. “I’m beginning to realize that.”

They exchanged goodbyes and then she continued her day feeling good about her decision. The last couple days, texting with Lucy, had almost been enough to satiate her. She was glad that they were able to add text banter to their repertoire, but she was also really excited to see her in person again. To look at her. To be fussed over by her. To just be with her.

She walked into the diner on Thursday night with a little skip to her step. She barely made it through the door before Lucy practically tackle hugged her.

“You’re here. You’re safe.”

Kate laughed into the embrace as she returned it. “Geez, if I would have known I’d get this kind of welcome, I’d have come sooner.”

Not that she could have even if she wanted to. And she had wanted to. She hated that she missed seeing her on Tuesday. She hadn’t realized until being forced to spend less time with Lucy how much she did truly treasure the moments she spent with her.

Lucy squeezed tighter and Kate knew she made the right decision with regards to her schedule change and possible move. She just wasn’t sure how to broach the subject with Lucy. She hoped Lucy would be just as excited about seeing Kate several times a week as she was seeing her tonight.

Lucy reluctantly pulled away. Then she grabbed Kate by the hand, and their fingers laced together automatically. “I want to hear all about it, but first you need to eat.” Lucy said as she led them to their booth. 

Kate laughed out loud when she saw that it was a recreation of their first meal together. Breakfast for dinner. But there were no pineapples this time around. 

“I love it.” Kate told Lucy sincerely as she grabbed a piece of bacon and took a bite before she even sat down. 

Lucy sat across from her as usual. “So, tell me everything.”

Kate explained the situation with her truck and how she had a full service inspection scheduled on it in the morning. She paused here and there to eat her food and polished off her plate easily.

“So you changed the tire yourself?” Lucy asked with what sounded like astonishment.

Kate hoped she was impressed. 

“It’s part of the job. The minor stuff anyway. We all carry a tool box and a bunch of extra parts. It saves time and money to fix the things we can by ourselves.” 

Lucy nodded. “Impressive.”

Kate smiled. “What can I say, I’m good with my hands. I like to work with my hands. Outside. Inside.” She squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment and willed herself to stop spewing humiliating nonsense. 

When she opened them, Lucy quickly darted her gaze away but Kate caught the way she had been staring at said hands.

Interesting. Encouraging.

“I’ve been thinking, you’re on the road alone at all hours of the night. Sure you can fix whatever might break, which is awesome, but are you able to take care of yourself in other ways?”

Kate raised an eyebrow, because yes, her mind went there. And yes, she was fully capable of taking care of herself. She did so often.

Lucy clapped her hands in front of Kate’s face and had a knowing smirk on her lips. “I meant in self defense.”

Kate blushed deeply. “Oh.” She cleared her throat when it was an octave too low. “Oh. Um, no not really. I have a baseball bat in my truck. And I’m licensed to carry a gun.”

“You’re in Texas. Everyone has a gun.”

True point.

“You really should learn to defend yourself. A woman alone on the road. One who looks like you.” Lucy trailed her eyes up and down Kate’s body. “I mean, you have to know that right? You’re stunning.”

Kate preened at the compliment. “Thank you.”

“It’s not merely a compliment Kate, it’s a liability.”

Kate frowned.

“I could teach you. I know all the tricks. How to fight a bigger assailant. An armed assailant. Multiple assailants.”

Kate’s eyes glazed over as she swallowed audibly. “Well, now you’re just trying to turn me on.”

Her eyes widened as she saw Lucy’s mouth drop open. Where was her filter tonight? 

“Focus, Kate. I’m trying to be serious. I’m worried about you out there. Especially after the breakdown this week.”

Kate was torn between feeling affection over Lucy being worried about her and disappointment over the fact that Lucy was ignoring her flirting. She just wanted Lucy to give her some sort of sign that this thing that Kate felt growing between them was mutual. Not just the depth of their friendship, which Kate truly was grateful for. But the growing attraction. She was all Kate could think about. And being so close to her was getting harder and harder if she couldn’t do something about it soon. 

“You want to teach me self defense?” Kate tried to focus.

“I’m offering, yes. I’d feel better if I knew you could be just as badass with your fists as you claim to be with your hands.” Lucy paused. “That sounded…inappropriate…I’m sorry.”

Kate smirked. 

“I have brothers. They taught me everything I know. They wanted me to be prepared as well. I just think it’s important.”

Kate didn’t even try to focus properly anymore. “How many brothers?”

Lucy sighed with resignation. “You really aren’t going to take this seriously, are you?”

“You said you could handle multiple opponents. I’m trying to visualize.”

“I’m going to clean this up.” Lucy started clearing the table. 

Kate reached toward her to stop her, but thought better of it and pulled her hand away. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a long week.”

Lucy looked at her with kindness and thoughtfulness. She studied her for a long time before she spoke again. “If you wanted, you could come over to my place tonight.”

Kate was too shocked to respond so Lucy continued, “You could have a proper shower and sleep in a real bed.” 

Kate stared at her as she thought about all the things she would do to Lucy in the shower and the bed. As much as she wanted to say yes to the innocent offer, Kate didn’t trust herself. She certainly hadn’t been able to trust her own mind the entire evening—her sleep deprivation had rendered her mind to mouth filter inoperable.

“I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Lucy watched her carefully and took a few seconds to respond. “You wouldn’t be imposing. I wouldn’t have offered it if I didn’t mean it.”

Kate sighed. “Thank you. But I’ll be fine. I promise. And next time we talk, I promise to be better focused. And more serious. I hear what you’re saying and I understand that it’s a risk for me to do what I do. I’m not taking your concerns lightly.”

Lucy nodded as if she were satisfied with Kate’s explanation.

“Then go get some rest. I’ve got these.” She told Kate as she gestured at the dishes.

Kate felt bad just bailing because they had started a routine where they washed, dried and put away the dishes together. It was a way for Kate to extend their time together without feeling like she was imposing or ungrateful for all Lucy already did for her. But she also really did need sleep before she said something she couldn’t take back. Lucy made it glaringly obvious tonight that she wasn’t interested in Kate as anything more than friends. So Kate not only wanted to make sure she was able to maintain that friendship and not sabotage it, but she also needed to hide a bit and lick her wounds. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you next week.” She said as she let herself out and retreated to her truck. 

Kate rethought her decision to switch up her schedule all night as she tossed and turned waiting for morning. Exhaustion trumped her humiliation eventually and she did finally get some sleep. 

She woke up to a text from Lucy telling her to drive safe and sending a cute gif of pandas hugging. She smiled the entire time she was at the repair shop. Maybe she hadn’t screwed things up as epically as she thought.

When her name got called and her truck was finished being looked over, she walked up to claim her keys and ran smack dab into Jesse Boone.

“Oh, hey! I was hoping I’d catch you.” Jesse greeted her happily.

“Yup, it’s me.” She grimaced. “So, what’s the damage?”

“There was a problem with your thermostat that led to the overheating. We replaced it so you’re good to go. You shouldn’t have any more issues.”

“Oh, thank god!” She nearly hugged him. “Thank you, Jesse. What do I owe you?” She looked at the bill he handed her, then frowned. It had to be missing a zero. “This can’t be right.”

He smiled at her. “Friends and family discount! Same one I give the rest of our Ohana.”

Her eyes widened and she almost broke down crying right there in the lobby. So this was what it was like to have friends. So many friends. Friends who didn’t expect things from you or pity you. Friends who just wanted what was best for you and who cared about you for no other reason than that you mattered to them. Friends that were family. 

She actually hugged him this time. And she smiled when he hugged her back instantly. 

She thought about Jesse on the drive back to Chicago. Jesse and Jane and their unexpected kindness. But she thought about Lucy most of all. Lucy hadn’t had the best family experience, so she went out and created her own family. A family she chose. And for some reason, she also chose Kate. Kate, who had only ever had Noah. Kate who didn’t know what family could be. Kate who always felt alone even when in a crowded room. Now Kate was part of that extended family Lucy had created with the Boones, Kai, Ernie, Chase and Bam Bam. A family that now included Kate, and then Kate brought in Jane. Jane brought her kids. It was a family that kept growing. A family that loved and supported each other. That had each others’ backs. A family that Kate never knew she’d always wanted.

She slept very well when she finally got home. And when she finally woke up late Sunday morning, she couldn’t wait to talk to Noah and hash out the disaster of her nonexistent love life with him. It was their typical Sunday routine and she loved it. Not the love life talk, because she never had one, but the rest of it.

“Morning, Katie.” He greeted her as usual. “So how’s Lucy?”

“Hello to you too, Noah. No small talk then? You just want to make me jump right in.”

“Oooh, that bad, huh? What’d you do?”

Kate sighed. “What didn’t I do? Or say.” She heard him chuckle. “It’s not funny! This is my life we’re talking about.”

“I’m sure whatever it was, it couldn’t be that bad. Unless, did you finally ask her out…officially? Oh no, Katie, did she turn you down?”

Kate pouted. “She may as well have.”

“Tell me everything.”

“It’s mortifying. I told her I was good with my hands. 

“Without context?”

“In reference to fixing my truck, you ass.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Then she offered to give me self defense lessons, because she was worried about my safety out on the road all by myself…and I told her she was turning me on.”

He laughed so loud that Kate had to pull the phone away from her ear. 

“Again. Not funny.” She hissed.

“On the contrary. It’s hilarious. What’d she say?”

“Nothing! She was mad I wasn’t taking her seriously. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even accept her offer to go to her house to use her shower and bed.”

“Katie…”

“I know, I’m hopeless.”

“You are. But not for the reason you think.”

“You’re not helping, Noah.”

“Did she invite you to her place before or after your shameless flirting?”

“After. Why?”

“And you really don’t think she’s interested in you? Katie…she literally asked you to go home with her. You flirted with her. You pretty much threw yourself at her. And she accepted. More than accepted, she escalated it.”

“No, she was just being polite. She…” Kate thought about the looks Lucy gave her over the past few weeks that she no longer tried to hide. She thought about the casual intimacy between them. How tactile Lucy had been lately. “Fuck. How did I miss that?”

“Oh, my sweet idiot sister.”

Noah’s patronizing tone pissed her off. “Shut up.”

“Come on, don’t be like that. Don’t you want my advice?”

Of course she fucking did. She was desperate.

“Alright.” She sighed in resignation. “Give it to me. I can take it.”

“You never had to chase a girl before.”

“I never wanted to.”

“Yeah, there’s that. Girls always threw themselves at you so you never had to work at it if you were interested in someone. Not really. It was always obvious how they felt. Lucy’s a challenge because you don’t know what she’s feeling. She’s making you work for it.”

Kate frowned. “It’s not like that. I’m not interested in her for the challenge. I don’t want it to be a challenge. Being with her is easy. It’s all the other stuff that’s hard.”

“Have you tried…I don’t know? Just asking her out? Or maybe talking to her about it?”

“You know I haven’t.” She spat out with annoyance. 

She usually treasured her talks with her brother. Today was not one of those days.

“What’s stopping you?” He asked.

“Hello? Do you not remember how this conversation started?” She squeezed the bridge of her nose between her fingertips and groaned. “Do you not know me at all?”

“I do. Which is why…please don’t hate me for what I’m about to say...”

“I could never hate you.” Was her automatic response.

“What do you know about something called aromantic?”

“Just tell me what you’re thinking, Noah.”

“I think you may be aromantic.”

Kate frowned. “Elaborate.”

“It’s a spectrum, like your autism. Tell me if this sounds like you at all: the inability to feel romantic attraction or perhaps feeling it infrequently. You rarely or never desire what romantic couples often look for in a relationship. Yes, you may experience sexual attraction but not always the intimacy and companionship that comes with being in a romantic relationship with someone. You always describe yourself as a loner. You don’t mind being single. Even casual hook-ups aren’t worth the effort to you. You’ve always just let people come to you and even then, you could barely feign interest for long. Remember Cara?”

She groaned. “How could I forget? The one time I actually tried a relationship, I failed epically at it.”

“You ghosted your own girlfriend. And before that, you literally found every excuse to not be around her.” 

“Right.”

Noah might have a point. But she was annoyed that he always seemed to know more about her own community than she did, even if it was nice that he was so supportive and helpful. Still, none of that explained Lucy.

“This is different, Noah. All those things you mentioned about what I did to Cara, I do the opposite with Lucy. I literally just talked to Jane about switching my route so that I can see Lucy more often. The days between when I see her again are miserable. I don’t remember ever feeling so miserable when I’m alone. Usually I relish it. And now I think I want to move to Texas.”

“That’s big, Katie.” He commented unnecessarily. 

Of course it was big. It was fucking huge! 

“That’s what spectrum means though. It’s like a sliding scale. It’s different for everyone. Just like how just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you’re physically attracted to every woman you see.”

Kate licked her lips and blushed. “I do find most women very attractive.”

“Oh my god. Please can we…not go there.”

“You brought it up!”

“So do you think Lucy’s hot because she’s a woman and you think all women are hot?”

“Lucy is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”

“And what is it that makes you want to spend time with her?”

“Everything! Lucy is everything I’m not—in a way that complements me and makes me better and stronger. Braver. I like laughing and flirting with her in a way that simultaneously makes me feel silly and yet seen and understood and like I belong somewhere. I also love the quiet moments when I can process my own stuff by myself, but not be alone. I like that feeling. Being alone together. Because there have been times when even though I hadn't been alone—I still felt lonely.”

“Wow.” Noah stated in a quiet tone.

“And it’s crazy because some of the things that she does should drive me crazy.” Kate continued; thoroughly on a roll. “She’s not the neatest person, she’s quite messy actually. And she sings the wrong lyrics to songs a lot. And forgets or loses random things all the time because she misplaces them. She’s excitable and expressive. She’s open. Really open. But it’s endearing. And she makes me want to be open, too. She makes me want to do a lot of things.” She laughed to herself. “Not like that.” She paused. “Not just that.”

He chuckled.

“She wants to teach me self defense, like I told you. Because she wants me to be able to defend myself while I’m driving all across the country alone. Which is really sweet and thoughtful of her. And pretty badass, actually, that she can take care of herself. If you see her in person, you’d understand.”

“I’ve been suggesting that you learn self defense for years! I even offered to teach you.”

“I know. But that’s not the point right now.”

They fell silent for a few minutes.

“Tell me how you feel about Jane.” He asked randomly.

“What?”

“Jane. Besides me and Lucy, she’s the only other person you spend any significant amount of time with.”

“Jane’s great. She’s flexible with my schedule and very capable at her job. She’s a great listener and friend. She’s, I don’t know, she’s cool. I like her wardrobe.”

“Do you see the difference between the way you talk about Jane and the way you talk about Lucy?”

“I spend more time with Lucy, or I have been lately, so of course I talk more about her.”

“Jane’s a beautiful woman.”

“Jane’s married.” Kate retorted. She was once again becoming annoyed with this conversation. She didn’t see the point in it anymore.

“Is Lucy single?”

“Yes. Thank god.”

“I’m just saying that both are beautiful women but you aren’t attracted to both of them. Right?”

“Right.”

“Tell me something. If you had the choice between being a few minutes late to a delivery but seeing Lucy for an extra five minutes or being on time and not seeing Lucy that day…what would you choose?”

A few months ago, the answer would have been different. Because her job was everything. But now, she knew what it felt like to miss spending time with Lucy. She would do almost anything to not do it again.

“Noah, that doesn’t prove anything.”

“It proves everything. My lovely sister, who thinks organizing things and having color-coded binders is fun, would be late for a delivery just to see a girl. This is big news. Huge. You have a crush. Is this your first crush?”

She cringed at the question. It wasn’t a crush. What she felt for Lucy went far beyond that word.

When she didn’t respond, Noah grew silent for a while before he asked, “It isn’t a crush, is it? You’re falling for her. Or you already have.”

She wanted to argue with him. To tell him he didn’t know anything. That he didn’t know her. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t a liar.

“I’m scared, Noah.” She admitted, but she didn’t understand what she was actually scared of. And maybe that’s what scared her.

His tone grew soft and comforting. “It’s okay to be scared. You just can’t let it stop you from doing things that scare you.”

She nodded even if he couldn’t see her. Then she wiped at her wet eyes. She hadn’t realized she had started to cry.

“Katie?”

“Hmm?”

“I know this is a lot. And it’s new to you. But you do have to examine yourself. Your feelings. You have to figure out what you actually want with Lucy. I know I’ve been telling you to make a move, but you shouldn’t. Not until you know for sure. You both need to be on the same page, and you don’t want to hurt her if you realize that a romantic relationship with her isn’t what you actually want. And Katie, seriously, whatever it is you decide that you do or don’t want…it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you either way. It’s just part of who you are. And who you are is amazing.”

She was crying now. Full on sobs. 

“I’m hanging up now. Love you.” She said and followed through with only the tiniest bit of satisfaction.

She hated how well he knew her. Except that she didn’t actually hate it at all. She sat on her couch and contemplated Noah’s words. Then she did a google search for more information. She was always excellent at research. After hours of reading, she let the new information marinate. She thought about it all night. And she thought about what it may mean for her and Lucy or if there could be a her and Lucy.

Honestly, Kate used to think people were full of shit when it came to love and relationships. She never understood what it meant to have a crush or to fall in love. Falling in love made sense as a concept; something abstract and entirely detached or removed from the way she viewed and interacted with others. When people throughout Kate's life described how it felt to be so completely smitten with another person, she thought they were joking. She used to liken it to a sickness; symptoms including a racing heart, sweaty palms, nausea, weak knees, anxiety.

She recalled when she was younger that all the girls would giggle among themselves about the boys they had crushes on, going out on dates and describing the magical feeling of first kisses. Kate couldn't relate. And as she grew older, she realized that she didn't feel that way about boys at all. Discovering her identity as a lesbian was less of a world-shattering, eureka moment and more of a casual shrug and a nod of acknowledgement. It made sense, but something always felt off.

How do you know if you've fallen in love? What is a crush? Is it wrong to not fall in love? Am I broken?

Those were just some of the questions that teenaged Kate found herself asking the deep abyss of the internet. She liked girls but with what little representation queer women had in media, none of the stories resonated with the way she felt, or rather the way she didn't feel. Grand, epic love stories where two characters weather emotional storms and fight to be with the one they love? The appeal was lost on her. Even the small, simple stories of soft moments between two souls finding their other half left Kate feeling bored and disinterested. She never thought much about it; after all, it wasn't like it mattered.

It only started to bother Kate when the people around her expected things from her. People started asking her out. Boys in college did vie for her attention, but were quickly and easily shut down. Girls were another story entirely. Eventually, girls and non-binary people tried their luck, with mixed feelings from Kate. The sex was decent, but despite claiming no strings, their feelings often morphed into more whether they wanted to or not. She had watched from a distance as the people around her tried making their spouse (or girlfriend, boyfriend or lover) their whole life. They contorted themselves to maintain toxic relationships or just ill-fitted ones. They wanted their significant other to fulfill their every need or desire or whim. She had thought herself above it. 

She thought about Cara. The last and only time she attempted a relationship with someone. And that had been years ago. Everyone before Cara were just casual hook-ups. Mutually beneficial for stress relief or to ward off loneliness and they were always initiated by the other person. But one by one, they started moving on and wanting more. Marrying off. That had never been something she wanted. She didn’t need it. She had her career and her distractions. But it started to feel more and more like she was the only one who didn’t want more. Who didn’t want a family. And it made her worry that something was wrong with her. It just felt like one more way she might be broken. So she tried really hard to want what she was supposed to want. But she just…couldn’t get there. She grew annoyed at every small thing about Cara that she used to work to overlook. She grew bored with their time together. She felt caged. She dreaded their date nights. And she was always being misunderstood. Her inefficiencies at connecting or relating to Cara were attributed to malice. Kate never meant to hurt her. She just didn’t know how to get out. How to be heard or understood. Sabotaging their relationship came naturally to her. Far more naturally than the relationship had been.

She never loved Cara. It was a simple and succinct statement; and it summed up Kate’s entire being. She was drawn into giving Cara a chance because she needed companionship and then tried to fit into societal norms so she didn't feel so broken or damaged or inhuman. But Lucy was different. She always had been. Kate had never met anyone like Lucy before and she felt herself drawn to her in ways she didn't fully understand. Lucy was effortlessly charming. She was adorable and excitable. She wore her heart on her sleeve while simultaneously being one of the strongest, most competent people Kate had the pleasure of knowing. Lucy was amazing. 

And that was actually what confused Kate about the whole situation with Lucy—she wanted to know where they stood. She wanted to know what Lucy’s expectations were for them ; to make sure they both wanted the same things and had the same expectations. She wanted to know where Lucy stood with her and she wanted Lucy to know how she felt, even if she didn’t know how to properly explain it or put it into words herself.

That was something Kate wasn't used to so she didn't know how to ask for it. She wasn't used to craving emotional intimacy with someone. But she found herself, now that she had a label for what she felt, craving those things with Lucy. Companionship. Friendship. Emotional intimacy. Maybe some romance. Definitely sex. She wanted to share things with Lucy. She wanted to confide in her about her new revelations about herself. Aromantic. Demiromantic. All this spectrum stuff and these new labels. It felt enlightening and yet confining. Like she could still be judged for it even though she now understood she wasn't broken and that having a label meant there were others like her out there. 

She knew there was no love at first sight. No soulmates or even "the one." She wasn't even sure that what she felt for Lucy could be described by anyone else as love. But to her, it meant so much more than a simple word or indescribable feeling. Lucy was her person. She didn't need to think about it any more than that. Not defining it with a single word didn't make it any less important or profound. And she was still not sure how it had happened, just that it did happen. Like with sleep, it happened slowly and then all at once. 

Kate thought about what she wanted and needed. And about what she could live without. Most of all, what she realized with startling clarity was that even though she didn't need Lucy, she still very much wanted her. She didn't need her to keep from feeling alone. She didn't just desire a sexual relationship with her. Kate could acknowledge to herself, in these quiet moments, that she missed just being around Lucy. 

No matter what she meant to Lucy, Kate knew what Lucy meant to her. And, for better or worse, Kate knew that Lucy was her person. Kate realized far too late that not only was she different with Lucy, but that Lucy herself was different from anyone she had ever known. She had wasted time trying to deny it so she hadn’t seen it for what it was. They were basically already in a relationship that worked in every way that her relationship with Cara hadn’t. So why not make it official? Why not see what they could really be together?

*******

Kate spent the last few days growing comfortable with herself and understanding her new identity and what she wanted from Lucy. What she wanted with Lucy. Because she was fully ready to admit that she did want to be with Lucy. In any and every way. She needed to talk to Lucy, and she hoped Lucy felt the same way. She spent the entire drive down to Texas, down to Lucy, terrified; because what if after pouring her heart out to her, it was too much, or worse, what if it wasn’t enough for Lucy? What if she wasn’t enough? Maybe she wouldn’t tell her after all. Maybe they could stay in whatever limbo they seemed to be in. And maybe she would eventually be okay with where they were. With being only friends with Lucy. She could almost convince herself that that would be enough. That she could live with that. She had been more than happy with their situation until now, so did she really have to say anything and risk everything? 

Because if Lucy was the exception, and she didn’t want to be with Kate, then that meant Kate would never find anyone else and all her recent soul searching might have been for nothing. And if Lucy was interested, she had already mentioned once how quickly and often she fell in and out of love. Sure, it had been in high school. But what if Kate was just a passing infatuation with her? What if none of it was actually real? Even as she asked the questions, she realized that she couldn’t just go on pretending nothing had changed for her. Not without Lucy knowing the whole story. Not without Lucy knowing all of her. She still hadn’t told Lucy she was autistic, which shouldn’t matter but was something that usually caused people to look at her differently. She hated that she was self-conscious about it sometimes, because rationally she knew that it was just another part of her. It wasn’t her entire identity. Except now, she had to also figure out how to bring up the aromantic aspect of herself. She wanted to be the person she knew she was behind all the walls and layers of armor and awkwardness. She wanted to be the person she knew Lucy deserved. Someone who was open and honest and who wasn’t scared to let people in to see the real her.

She had spent most of her adult life avoiding human connection because of how difficult it was for her to be around people or interact in a way that didn’t feel forced.. And that included her friendship with Jane, at least, up until several weeks ago. The only person she had ever let in completely was Noah, so perhaps that’s why he saw and understood her so thoroughly. She hoped that Lucy would be the second person who did so.

She couldn’t wait to see Lucy and at least tell her that they had the whole rest of the week to hang out together. She hadn’t gotten around to telling her last week because of her humiliating thirst disaster—her lesbian uselessness on full display.

She pressed open the door and smiled at the bell as it chimed. She used as much swagger as possible to feign confidence she didn’t quite feel. She knew herself better now. She understood herself and what she wanted. And what she wanted was Lucy. Full stop. The thing that put a dent in her confidence about her recent self-discovery was whether or not Lucy wanted the same things she did. Or if Lucy wanted her at all. 

“Hey you.” Lucy greeted her shyly. 

Either way, tonight she was going to make her move. Somehow.