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Sometimes sleep itself triggered a panic attack. The simple idea of having to lay down and let every stray thought or sound, phantom or not, consume him. It was maddening, drove him nearly over the edge - his worst nights filled with suicide ideation and throwing up. He felt like he could barely get a grip on reality, it was all washing away into nothing at all and it was all so meaningless.
It was just him, and the echoing nothing at times filled witha high pitch ringing when his thoughts reached an all time high about to burst. He's so exhuasted and scared that its almost impossible to even begin to ground himself, instead he swims in a hazey nightmarish state.
The sheets stick to his body as he sweats, trying to stay quiet and still, he doesn't know why he needs to but he knows he has to. He presses his lips flat as he heaves through his nose, covering his mouth for good measure. This does little, he's shaking, loud panicked breathing eventually wake the body next to him - at first his mind makes up some monster sleeping beside him, seconds away from reaching over and slashing his throat, but then he hears her soft voice and it was like a cool breeze over his heated flesh.
"Eddie?" She whispers, just stirred from her slumber and he feels a wave of guilt, he tries to make himself smaller on his side of the bed and stop his shaking. "Hey, Eds, it's okay, come here." Chrissy brushes his hair from his temple, his eyes are a little wide in fear - not even an image of a nightmare to be afraid of, all he knew was he was so scared, his mind racing. It calms seeing her face, pouted in concern and affection.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know."
"A nightmare?"
"I don't know."
He despises how small he sounds, but Chrissy just nods as if she understands - and he almost thinks she does, in a way he's sure she really does, but Chrissy doesn't remember anything involving Vecna, not even dying, she gets nightmares here and there but not like Eddie.
He turns completely towards her, wrapping his arms around her torso and setting his head against her collarbones. She holds him in return, taking a scrunchie off her wrist and lovingly running her fingers through his hair to put the purple hairband in his hair.
"You're okay, you're here with me." She says into his forehead, her nails tracing shapes into his spine - and she melts away all the fear like it was the easiest thing in the world.
He ducks his head closer to her and hugs her tighter to himself, he's here, not in the upside down - Vecna is gone, there's no more portals or demobats, or any democreatures, its just him and Chrissy in this quiet trailer, and Wayne is at work. Everyone is okay, they're all alive.