Work Text:
“You’re writing again? Maybe having a partner really is some sort of magic words generator for writers”
Joshua momentarily stopped typing, his fingers midway in pressing the letter “E” when he saw Seungcheol’s text. With furrowed brows, he texted back
“What do you mean?”
Not less than a minute later, his phone rang. Jihoon must have been busy with a new song for Seungcheol to call him on a friday night.
“Hello, Cheol, why did you call?”
“I’m too lazy to type and I kinda don’t have anything much to do so i’m gonna bother my dear darling best friend”
Joshua rolled his eyes, before he can reply Seungcheol had already started speaking again
“About my answer, Hoonie once told me I was his muse during his latest album that he released. I didn’t really understood what he actually said since he was a mumbling mess that day but I think I know what he meant by that”
Joshua nodded, forgetting that this was a phone call and quickly hummed instead for a sign of response from him.
The whole “no words needed between us” from Seungcheol and Jihoon was something that he was actually envious of.
How strong is their foundation and how deep is their love for each other to understand their unspoken thoughts?
Joshua wanted that for himself too, if only—
“Hey shua, you still there?”
Snapping out of his thoughts, Joshua answered with a quick sorry and explained that he was just typing the last few lines in his writing.
“Can I read it? Wait no, I don’t want to read your sappy love poems without Jihoon by my side. I want to read it with Jihoon so I can recite it to him and watch him turn red while I do it” Seungcheol laughed, and Joshua couldn't help but laugh along too.
It must be nice to be that in love
“Well lucky for you, it is not a sappy love poem that you are talking about” Joshua doesn’t know if this was something that he has to brag about to prove Seungcheol wrong but he only had three default settings when he writes.
- There is a muse
- He feels way too much to the point that it wants to be spilled in written form or else he won’t be getting any sleep
- A mixture of both
“Well, what is it about then? Is it not about Jeonghan? As far as I know you are driven emotionally when you write. Probably the reason why I love reading your works. It makes me feel things you know”
Joshua smiled, “well you are somewhat right about it being Jeonghan. I guess I could say that he is my muse here”
A strangled noise came from his phone, “See! So it is a sappy love poem! First, you finally picked up writing again. Second, you are driven by emotions when it comes to writing. Third, you just just had date with Jeonghan a couple of days ago. You act just like Hoonie, acting all ‘oh this is nothing’ then it's probably the love song of the century! Oh wait Hoonie’s home I’ll text you instead—HOONIE MY LOVES—“
Leaning back on his chair, he ran his hand through his hair. Thinking about Seungcheol’s reasons.
It was all facts, he is indeed an emotion based writer and he just had a date with his partner. Of course he would feel amazing and driven enough to write and immortalize his relationship in paper.
So why is it that all of his works so far looked like it hasn’t had the touch of love in it?
Yes, he had picked up writing again
Yes, his writings are often a window to his innermost thoughts
Yes, he is in love
But why can’t his writings reflect it?
Is he an impostor?
Jeonghan was nothing but a partner who tries to love him right.
The way that Joshua wanted to be loved.
The way that I wanted to be loved
Joshua can feel a headache brewing. He looked at his screen and saved the document before closing his laptop. His last line engraved in his mind.
“Can we stop this play pretend?“
I can write you a hundred letters and you would still not understand
How can you?
When you have chosen to breeze through it and not seep in the words to then act like you have heard me with
“Its beautiful”
Can we stop this play pretend?