Work Text:
"I've finally found you, Lupin!" The unmistakable voice of Bartemius Crouch Jr. borderline sings as he makes his way across the courtyard to the alcove Remus had lodged himself into.
He came to a stop just before Lupin but suddenly seemed unsure of what to do with himself when Remus blatantly ignored him.
Remus can feel him hovering awkwardly in front of him and takes some pleasure in dragging out the moment by finishing the paragraph he was reading and lowering his book at a leisurely pace before, finally, looking up at the fidgeting boy in front of him, fidgeting as if staying completely still would kill him. The boy looked like he'd run across the courtyard if Remus was reading the slight flush in his cheeks and his slightly laboured breathing correctly. His hair, which usually seemed pretty wild at the best of times (nowhere near James' level's of wild but, then again, even a lion's mane seemed tame in comparison to whatever that guy had going on onto of that head of his) was windswept.
"Did you want something, Crouch?" He asked evenly, gaze purposefully icy.
Barty groaned. "Yes! Merlin's sake, this is exactly what I was going to talk to you about." It came out more mumbled and vague than the Slytherin had probably intended.
It also left Remus raising his eyebrows, face shaping to display the confusion he felt.
Seeing this, Barty so graciously decided to clarify. "Listen, mate, I have a feeling that you don't like me."
Remus could laugh- not for any particular reason, it's just that he assumed it be something a bit more grave than an insecurity. Plus, Remus was definitely the wrong person to deal with bruised egos.
But he doesn't. Laugh- that is. He just replies. "I've told you many times that I don't." He says it slowly as if he thinks Barty is a bit daft and is being forced to jog his memory for him because he thinks the latter is fully incapable.
Barty rolls his eyes. "Yeah but is that as a joke or..."
It's Remus' turn to roll his eyes. "You have a boyfriend, go to him for validation."
"Keep Evan out of this. This is between you and me."
Trust Barty to be overly dramatic; Slytherin's own Sirius Black. And well, if Barty is Sirius then Remus has no choice but to taunt.
"I quite like your boyfriend."
"Oi! Hands off. You have your own." Barty waves his finger in Remus' face for emphasis- a gesture not all too welcome and Remus huffs in annoyance.
"Yours is nicer." Whilst it is true, Remus knows he's saying it just for the chance to get under Barty's skin; Remus felt like he'd deserved that small bit of fun. The bastard did, after all, interrupt his peaceful reading- and the book was just getting interesting.
Barty shrugs with a small, fond smile tugging the corners of his mouth upwards. It's sickening. Remus can only hope he doesn't look like that when someone says something good about Sirius within his earshot. "Probably. I'm not a fan of the older Black, personally. Think that was a bad choice on your part."
"That's a bit self-deprecating, the two of you being so similar and all."
"So why do you like him so much and not me?"
"He's hotter," Remus responds without a second thought and a casual shrug of his shoulders.
Barty mimes being stabbed through his heart. "Oh, how you wound me, Lupin!"
Remus just smiles sweetly before looking back down at his book, not actually reading because he's anticipating an interruption.
It seems that he's right, once again. Maybe he should've stuck with divination, given his seer-like tendencies.
The interruption comes with a shy foot kicking at the cobblestone floor and a head staring intently down at it. "But, like, genuinely. Do you think I'm alright?"
"Sure," Remus concedes with a sigh. "You're alright, Bartemius Crouch Junior."
Barty pulls a face at his full name being used but it quickly slips from his face and gets forgotten in favour of bothering Remus some more, as if he hasn't done that more than enough in the short ten-ish minutes of their encounter. He still hasn't looked up from the spot on the floor he's abusing with the tip of his shiny shoe. "So you like me?"
"I already said sure, Barty. Don't make me regret it."
And with that, Barty's head snaps up and his face splits into a huge grin and he's running an excited hand through his undoubtedly fluffy, dark brown hair. No wonder it was always a mess if he made a habit of doing that. "Just you wait until I tell Black!" He raves.
"Which one?" Remus already knows but a little clarification never hurt anyone.
"Your one."
"Why?"
"Because he was very insistent that you didn't."
Remus chuckles at that. "That sounds like Sirius." Then after a beat. "Maybe don't tell him. The fucker hates being wrong so I'll be hearing about my 'betrayal' for days, probably weeks."
Barty grinned and Remus couldn't find not even an ounce of mercy anywhere on his features. Fuck. "Good luck, Lupin." And with a quick ruffle of Remus' mousey hair, Barty turned and started running away as fast as he'd run to approach him.
"Fuck you, Crouch!" Remus called after the retreating boy, a light scowl on his face as he smoothed down his hair a bit.
In response to his shout, Remus received two hasty middle fingers being thrown up in his general direction.
Now, Remus can do little else but sigh. Oh well. At least he still had this moment with his book and his alcove and the slight, grounding chill in the air before Sirius seized the moment to put on a performance that would impress any producer or director immediately. It would be funny at first but eventually, his snide, bite-less comments would become truly annoying- even to James. That's typically how Sirius knew when to move on and stop dragging out a joke. Remus could only hope James' patients this time would be much shorter than it was every other time otherwise he'd be dealing with a stroppy boyfriend for the best part of three weeks and that did not sound ideal.